Another litter lightener...
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Clogged Sink Press Presents:
Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction -
Wishful Thinking
By:Plunger
All characters copyright of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Inc. and
Viz Communications Inc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah...
Except Urd, who is copyright of Kyousuke Fujishima.
This is NOT a RANMA-AMG crossover (just a cameo) :)
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[Story begins...]
[Ranma is in the doujou practicing, when Akane comes in.]
Akane: What are you doing, Ranma?! We'll be late!
Ranma: Okay, okay! I'm coming! Geez!
[Ranma walks out to where Akane is impatiently waiting.]
Ranma: You are so uncute when you're nervous.
Akane: And you're such a baka when you make us late!
Ranma: You'd know!
[Ranma grabs his bag from Akane and walks off without her. She hurries to
catch up, then walks quietly next to him, glancing at him occasionally.]
Ranma: What?!
Akane: What do you mean?
Ranma: You're looking at me!
Akane: No, I'm not. I wouldn't want to look at a hentai like you!
Ranma: Good. Because your tomboy face is making me sick! (Good)
Akane: Grrr! RANMA NO BAKA!
[Akane hammers Ranma into the ground, looks at her watch, sighs and then drags
him towards Furinkan High.]
Akane: If you make me late, I'll kill you, Ranma!
Ranma: (unconscious) ...
[They arrive at Furinkan High, only to find Tatewaki Kunou barring their way.]
Akane: Move it, Sempai! I'm not in the mood!
Kunou: No? Then I might spar with you. Today may yet bring me luck...
(chuckles)
Akane: You asked for it!
[Akane grabs Ranma by the foot and swings him like a club (a 1 Wood) and belts
Kunou skyward.]
Akane: FORE!
Student #1: Wow! Good swing.
Student #2: She should go pro.
Student #17: Nah. The womens tour isn't very big. Besides, we haven't seen
her putt yet...
[Akane drops Ranma and resumes dragging him to class. By the time they arrive,
Ranma is looking somewhat second hand. Akane sits down, dumping Ranma on the
floor.]
Ukyou: What happened to Ran-chan?
Akane: He had a fight with Kunou-sempai.
Ukyou: And?
Akane: He won.
Ukyou: He doesn't look too good.
Akane: He'll get over it. You know how hard headed he is!
Ukyou: (nods) You're right.
[Akane and Ukyou look to the front as the class begins. A while later, Ranma
regains consciousness and sits up.]
Ranma: What the hell happened to me?
Akane: Er... You had a fight with Kunou.
Ranma: I did? Did I win?
Akane: Yes. You headbutted him into submission.
Ranma: Oh. Okay... Waitasec! I remember! You beat me up!
Akane: So?! You asked for it?!
Ukyou: Here we go again...
[Akane wipes the floor with Ranma and then slumps back into her seat.]
Akane: Jerk...
Ukyou: Er... Akane-chan...
Akane: What?!
Ukyou: I think you had better take Ran-chan to the infirmary... He's looking
worse...
Akane: Hah! Why bother?! You can take him if you care so much!
Ukyou: (nods) Okay...I will.
[Ukyou scrapes Ranma off the floor with her spatula and walks out dragging
him. Akane watches, angry and envious.]
Akane: That jerk! Going off with Ukyou!
Sayuri: Actually... You're the one who knocked him out, Akane...
Akane: So?!
Yuka: So you're the one who should be looking after him... He is your iinazuke,
after all...
Akane: (downcast) ...
[In the infirmary, Ukyou is patching Ranma up.]
Ukyou: Poor, silly, Ran-chan... You should know better than that. Whenever you
fight with Akane, you lose.
Ranma: (groggily) I do not!
Ukyou: (smiles) Yes, you do. Look at it this way... You've got a perfect
record, though...
Ranma: Just what I need... I wish she'd just stop hitting me for once!
Ukyou: Face it, Ran-chan. You and Akane-chan are like a match and rocket fuel...
Put you together and you explode...
Ranma: I know...
[Ukyou slaps a band-aid on Ranma's nose and then pats him on the arm.]
Ukyou: Don't worry, Ran-chan. Things have a habit of working out around
here...
Ranma: (nods)
[Ranma gets up and, followed by Ukyou, heads unsteadily back to class. The
day progresses slowly, as Ranma tries to get back into Akane's good books. By
the time they leave for home, she is talking to him again. As they walk, Akane
decides to do a little bridge building.]
Akane: Sorry about this morning, Ranma... I guess using you to hit Kunou was
a bit much...
Ranma: Not half!
Akane: ...
Akane: Anyway... What are you going to do tonight?
Ranma: (worried) Dunno... Why?
Akane: Oh, you know... I just thought that we could go out or something...
Ranma: (horrorfied) What?! Me?! Be seen in public with you?! You've got to be
kidding?!
Akane: Baka! I thought we could just have some fun! No strings attached!
Ranma: Hmm... Well...
Akane: Do you want to?
Ranma: Maybe... I'll think about it...
[Akane nods, but stews a little as they head for home. Ranma and Akane walk
into the house, glaring evilly at each other. Genma notices this and follows
Ranma out to the doujou. He moves to a position facing Ranma.]
Genma: What's going on, Ranma? I saw the way Akane looked at you. What did you
do to her this time?!
Ranma: Shut up! Listen, Oyaji! She's the one who knocked me out and used me
as a golf club! I'm not the only one at fault around here!
Genma: That's true... But it's your fault more often than not.
Ranma: That's not my fault!
Genma: It only takes one to change you know... All you have to do is want to
break the pattern!
Ranma: (flatly) You've been reading womens magazine's again, haven't you?
Genma: (defensively) They're very informative!
Ranma: (exasperated look) Go away, Oyaji! You're not helping!
[Ranma pulls his foot back and punts Genma into the pond. A large, disgruntled
looking panda climbs out the other side, grumbling.]
Ranma: Just what I need...
[Ranma goes back to his kata until Akane arrives. She ignores him as she sets
up a pile of cinder blocks. Ranma stops to watch as she stares at the block,
deep in concentration.]
Akane: Hi... YAH!
[She slams her hand down on the bricks, shattering them to the last block.]
Ranma: Hm.
Akane: What?! What's wrong?! What did I do?
Ranma: Nothing. I was just wondering if the blocks will ever get their own
back...
Akane: What do you mean?
Ranma: It's just that I never see you practice against anything but those
stupid cinder blocks.
Akane: So?
Ranma: Well... They don't fight back...and they're not very good at dodging...
Akane: What's you're point, Ranma?
Ranma: (shrugs) I was just offering to be a moving target...
Akane: (smiles evilly) I wouldn't want to hurt you...
Ranma: You?! Hurt me?! Yeah, right!
[Akane moves in while he's laughing and slaps him three times and then kicks
him into the wall. He climbs out, grinning.]
Ranma: I take it you accept? Big mistake!
Akane: Come on then, pervert!
Ranma: You got it! MOUKO TAKABISHA!
[Lightening charges around Ranma and a glow of power wells in his hands. He
then thrusts them forwards and unleashes a power blast. Akane can just stare
as it streaks past her shoulder and out the window. A moment later there is
a yelp of surprise and an explosion from outside. A rather crispy panda
staggers away from the doujou.]
Ranma: What? Hmph! (to Akane) Give up?
Akane: Nai! I'll beat you!
[Akane rushes in and attacks Ranma. Ranma, with his hands behind his back,
dodges all her moves.]
Ranma: You are supposed to TRY and hit me, you know!?
Akane: I'm trying!
Ranma: Really?!
Akane: GRR! Jerk!
Ranma: Hm?!
[He can just stare as Akane's patented `Slap of Doom' (TM) lands on his jaw.
He goes sailing across the room and slams into the wall, head first. He slumps
to the floor as Akane walks out. Ranma rubs his stinging face as he watches
her go.]
Ranma: Oww... Me and my big mouth... (Ow...)
[He sits in the doujou for a while then slowly gets up and goes into the house.
He heads straight for the bathroom and goes into the changeroom without
noticing the "Knock first!" sign. He undresses and then goes to the door of
the bathroom itself and is about to open it, when he hears Akane.]
Akane: (in bathroom) Ranma no baka! Why are you always baiting me?! It's not
like I like hitting you!
Ranma: (looks guilty) ...
Akane: (in bathroom) I suppose I'd better get out now...
Ranma: Ack!
[Ranma looks around franticly, realizing that Akane has to get past him to
leave. In a panic, he leaps into the clothes hamper and shuts the lid just as
Akane opens the door. She comes out carrying a pile of clothes. She then
absentmindedly opens the hamper and throws her clothes in. Her panties land
right on Ranma's nose. He locks up and goes crosseyed, staring at the
offending underwear. Akane closes the lid and walks out.]
Akane: Maybe I'll try and make up with Ranma now...
Ranma: Phew!
Akane: Huh?! What was that?
[Akane comes back in and looks around. Ranma, in the hamper, is starting to
shake. Akane notices this and opens the lid. She face faults as she sees
Ranma with her panties on his face.]
Ranma: Er...Hi... This isn't what it looks like...
Akane: (taps foot) Of course it isn't. How could it be?
Ranma: I don't suppose saying sorry would help?
Akane: (shakes head) Uh, uh.
Ranma: Figures... Okay... Do your worst.
Akane: I will. (pause) PERVERT! BAKA! JERK! WIERDO!
[Akane grabs the hamper and punts it into a low earth orbit over Nerima.
Ranma lands some distance away in a charity bin.]
Ranma: Hmm... That was pretty restrained for her.
[Ranma returns some time later, looking like a total scarecrow.]
Nabiki: Nice taste you've got there, Ranma. Sort of neo chic bum, right?
Ranma: Shut up.
[Ranma goes and has a bath then gets dressed. He comes down to find the family
room empty.]
Ranma: Hm. Guess dinners not on yet.
[He flops onto the couch and clicks the TV remote. After a while it becomes
clear to him that everyone has gone out.]
Ranma: They've left me behind! With no food! Hmm... I know! I'll call Shampoo,
she'll bring me some ramen.
[Ranma picks up the phone and absently dials it, while watching the TV
weather, the most important thing on TV for him. The phone clicks and a
recorded voice comes on.]
Voice: You have reached the Relief Goddess Hotline. One of our representatives
will be with you as soon as is convenient.
Ranma: H-hey! Hey! Wait! Er...
[As Ranma continues to argue with the recording, the TV begins to glow in a
disconcerting manner. After a moment, Ranma gives up on the phone and suddenly
notices the TV.]
Ranma: Huh? That's odd...
[The is a brilliant flare of light and two legs come out of the screen. Two
female legs. Two sexy female legs. Two very sexy female legs. Two VERY sexy
female legs. Two VERY VERY... You get the idea. ;)]
Ranma: Hey! What's going on?!
[The legs are followed by a body and then a lot of long silver hair.]
Ranma: Reminds of me of obasan...
Person: I heard that!
[The figure stands up and then turns to face Ranma. He notices her exotic
clothes and a small inverted triangle on her forehead. Ranma decided to ask
the obvious question.]
Ranma: Who are you?
Woman: (bows) I am Urd. Goddess. Second class. Limited.
Ranma: Er... Say again.
Urd: You heard. I'm here to give you a wish. What do you want?
Ranma: Are you serious about this?
Urd: Yeah. Now hurry up.
Ranma: This isn't a dream?
Urd: No. Do you want a wish or not?
Ranma: Well... I guess so...
Urd: So what is it?
Ranma: I'd-
[Ranma is cut off as the entire family walks into the room. They stop and
stare, seeing Ranma and this strange woman facing each other.]
Nabiki: Whoa! Ranma... A real ladykiller!
Akane: R-Ranma...
Kasumi: Goodness...
Souun: What is this? Saotome-kun! This isn't another fiancee, is it?!
Genma: (scratches head) I don't think so. I don't remember this one... Still...
I was drunk some of the time...
[Everyone facefaults.]
Souun: Ranma-kun! Who is this woman?!
Ranma: Er... She's... She's... (to Urd) Who are you again?
Urd: I told you. I'm a goddess second class, limited. My name is Urd. I'm here
to give you a wish and if you don't hurry up and decide, you won't get
one!
Ranma: See?
Souun: Hmm...
Genma: I wonder...
Akane: I don't believe you, Ranma! How could you do this?!
Ranma: Me?! How is it my fault?!
Akane: It always is!
Ranma: But-
Akane: Pervert!
[Akane slaps Ranma to the floor and storms off in a mood.]
Urd: Hmmm... Strange...
Ranma: Very.
Urd: Now... About the wish...
Ranma: Huh?
Urd: What do you want?! I've got other things to do, you know?!
Ranma: (rubbing slap mark) Well...
Souun: You know your responsibilities, Ranma-kun.
Ranma: Er...
Genma: You know what to do, boy.
Ranma: Heh... Umm... I guess so...
Urd: What? What?! Hurry up!
Ranma: I wish I wasn't cursed anymore.
Souun: Ranma-kun!
Genma: Hey! You forgot me, boy!
Urd: Finally....
[The triangle in her forehead begins to glow and she floats up into the air.
A powerful wind whips around the room and messes everything up. A moment later
it stops and she floats to the floor.]
Urd: Your wish has been accepted. You're not cursed anymore. Congratulations.
Ranma: Really?!
Urd: Yep. Oh... And I'll give you some free advice... QUIT PICKING ON YOUR
FIANCEE! (punches him across the room) Baka!
[She then turns and dives back into the TV.]
Urd: (voice) Bai, bai! (mutters) Those two are as bad as Belldandy and that
baka mortal Keiichi...
[Ranma gets up and looks around.]
Ranma: Where'd she go?!
Nabiki: (points) Into the TV.
Ranma: Grr! How dare she say that to me?!
Nabiki: Well... Considering she just beat you up, I'd say pretty easily.
Ranma: Shut up.
[Ranma stomps off and goes to bed. Next morning, he gets up to spar with his
father over the pond.]
Genma: You're late, boy!
Ranma: So?
Genma: Ill dicipline makes you weak.
Ranma: Want to see how weak I am?
Genma: Yes.
[Genma and Ranma leap at each other, punching, kicking and grappling. Finally,
Ranma backflips and somersault kicks his father. Genma goes flying into the
pond, raising a great wave of water.]
Ranma: Waa!
[The water drenches him and he shakes his head.]
Ranma: Great. Now I need a bath.
Akane: (walks out) Why?
Ranma: Why do you think?! I got wet! I've changed!
Akane: Have you?
Ranma: Huh? (pause) I'm still a guy!
Akane: No kidding.
Ranma: That means... That means...
Akane: You're cured. Congratulations.
Ranma: Wahahahahahahaha! Finally! I'm free of that stupid curse!
Akane: I guess your bimbo did something good, then!
Ranma: Hm? My what?! What did you say?!
Akane: I saw her! Remember?!
Ranma: I wasn't doing anything funny! I swear!
Akane: Hmph! Liar!
Ranma: But...
Akane: It's just like you. Always going off with other women!
Ranma: What do you care?!
Akane: (surprised) Er... I...
Ranma: So... You do care...
Akane: No! I do not!
Ranma: No? Oh, well... We'd better get to school... I doubt I'd survive
making you late again. (smiles)
Akane: Huh?
[Ranma walks out of the house and then stops. A moment later, Akane joins
him.]
Ranma: Come on.
Akane: Coming...
[They move off towards the school. As he walks, Ranma hears Urd's voice in his
mind.]
Voice: Quit picking on your fiancee!
Ranma: (thought) I don't really, do I?
Ranma: Akane... Do you think I'm mean to you?
Akane: What?!
Ranma: Am I mean to you?
Akane: Does Happousai steal panties?
Ranma: Oh. That bad, huh?
Akane: What makes you ask that?
Ranma: Just something someone said...
Akane: (smiles evilly) Oh, really... What did she say?
Ranma: Er...
Akane: (sternly) Spill it!
Ranma: She said that I should stop picking on you because you're my fiancee.
Akane: And?
Ranma: I was just wondering if I pick on you.
Akane: Well, you do.
Ranma: In that case... I'm sorry. I didn't realize.
Akane: You what?
Ranma: I didn't realize.
Akane: No. Before that!
Ranma: (guessing) I'm sorry?
Akane: Do... Do you mean it, Ranma?
Ranma: (nods) Yeah. I guess I didn't think about your feelings.
Akane: What brought all this on?
Ranma: What she said has been ringing around in my head for a while.
Akane: Oh, well... At least you're not cursed anymore. That's one good thing,
I guess...
Ranma: Akane... Why do you get mad when I'm around other women?
Akane: Why do you think, baka?! You're my diancee! You're supposed to be
faithful and all that...
Ranma: But what do you care? We were engaged by force. Neither of us wanted
any of this.
[Akane begins to feel that she is being painted into a corner.]
Akane: I...
Ranma: What?
Akane: Maybe... (quietly) My feelings have changed...
Ranma: (horrorifed) WHAT?!
Akane: (turns) I don't hate you, Ranma. I never have. I just wish things could
have gone better...
Ranma: (stunned) ...
Ranma: Akane... I... I... I don't hate you, either... I'd like for us to get
along.
Akane: (stares) You...would?
Ranma: (nods) Yes. I would.
Akane: Oh. Well. I guess we could...
Ranma: Mhm.
[Ranma and Akane walk the rest of the way in silence, and arrive shorly after
at Furinkan, where Tatewaki Kunou has been waiting.]
Kunou: Halt!
Ranma: Ah! Morning, Kunou-sempai!
Kunou: Do not take that tone with me! What have you done with my osage no
onna?! I have not seen her for days!
[Ranma and Akane look at each other for a moment and then fall over laughing.
After a little while, Ranma recovers and goes over to Kunou.]
Ranma: Sorry, sempai. She's gone... For good.
Kunou: WHAAAAT?! What have you done with her?!
Ranma: Me? Nothing.
Kunou: Liar!
Ranma: Take that back!
Kunou: Never!
Ranma: Okay... Let's go!
Kunou: Very well... I agree. Prepare yourself!
[Kunou moves in and attacks Ranma, who backs off and then backflips and
rebounds off a tree. He leaps at Kunou and kicks him in the face, then spins
and kicks him again. Kunou reels and collapses, out cold.]
Ranma: So much for him!
[Ranma then turns and heads for the building. In a nearby tree, a woman with
long silver hair is watching him.]
Urd: Hmm... So far so good... What happens next?
[Ranma goes into class and sits down between Akane and Ukyou.]
Ranma: Hi, Ucchan.
Ukyou: (smiles and hugs him) Good morning, Ran-chan.
Akane: (scowls) ...
[Ranma sits back and sleeps a little, totally ignoring the teacher.]
Sensei: RANMA!
Ranma: Huh? Yeah?!
Sensei: Were you asleep?
Ranma: No! I was thinking.
Sensei: Really?!
Ranma: (nods unconvincingly) Mhm.
Sensei: Well... Do your thinking with your eyes open.
Ranma: Yes, sensei.
[As soon as the teacher turns away, Akane glares at Ranma.]
Akane: You were asleep!
Ranma: So?
Akane: You should be listening.
Ranma: (bored) Why?
Ukyou: If Ran-chan wants to sleep, that's fine with me. (smiles)
Akane: You would say that!
Ranma: See? What the big deal? It's not like you need to know about physics
to do martial arts.
Akane: But-
Ranma: Now... Back to my nap...
Akane: Ranma no baka!
[Akane punts Ranma out the window and into the tree Urd is in. Or rather was
in. The impact having knocked her to the ground. Urd looks up from her sitting
position on the grass.]
Urd: Oww... (thought) This is no way for a goddess's rear to be treated.
These two need some serious magic.
[Urd gets up and levitates up into the tree where Ranma is.]
Urd: Oi! Wake up!
Ranma: ...
Urd: (slaps him) Snap out of it!
Ranma: Okay... I'm awake. You can stop.
Urd: Good.
Ranma: What are you doing here? I thought you went back to TV land.
Urd: Shut up. I'm here to help you with your girl. You need it.
Ranma: What?! She's not my girl!
Urd: No. But you'd like her to be, right?
Ranma: Well... Maybe...
Urd: Quit stalling. You know you do. Now... Listen... You have to be more
thoughtful with her, even though she's totally illogical and irrational.
Ranma: Easier said than done.
Urd: No. Not too hard, actually. I can cast a spell on you so that you can
see her anger before she hits you. It will appear as a bar graph in your
vision. Think you can handle that?
Ranma: Yeah. Can you give me thermographic vision as well, while you're at
it?
Urd: No. Now sit still...
[Urd waves her hands and mutters a few words, then touches Ranma on the
forehead.]
Ranma: I'm not going to get one of those dumb triangles, am I?
Urd: No. You are not a god! (thought) Thank goodness. (spoken) Now... Go back
to class and try it out.
Ranma: 'kay. Say... Wouldn't this be easier if you just altered her
personality?
Urd: No! Now get going!
Ranma: Right. See ya!
Urd: I hope not...
[Ranma drops out of the tree, unbalancing Urd and causing her to fall on her
rear again.]
Urd: BAKA!
[She summons some lightening and blasts Ranma back to class.]
Ranma: SORRY!
[Ranma crashes through the windows and lands on the floor right in front of
Akane. He looks up and cannot help staring up her dress. She sees this and
kicks him in the face.]
Akane: Pervert.
[Ranma gets up and looks at her. He doesn't need magic to know she's mad. In
the corner of his vision is a little bar graph. It is set at about half.]
Ranma: (thought) Hmm... Not good. She's mad. I'd better say something.
(spoken) Sorry, Akane. I got thrown here.
Akane: Hmph.
[The graph went down to about thirty percent.]
Ranma: (thought) It's working...
[Ranma sits down and remains silent for a while, watching the bar go gradually
downwards. After a while, class ends and they go to lunch.]
Akane: I made you lunch, Ranma. You better eat it.
[Ranma notices the bar graph go up markedly.]
Ranma (swallows) Er... Okay... Thanks, Akane...
[The graph goes to zero as Akane hands the bentou box to Ranma. Ranma opens it
and stares at it until he notices the bar going up again. He sighs and begins
to eat. Ranma had been beaten up by some powerful opponents, but had yet to
encounter one with a better kick than one of Akane's meals. He collapses on
the grass, senses reeling. When he regains conscousness, he sees Akane looking
over him.]
Akane: I guess it wasn't so good... I'm sorry, Ranma.
Ranma: (sits up) It's okay. You'll get better.
Akane: (hopeful) You think so?
Ranma: You can't get worse.
[The graph immediatelty shoots up to about eighty percent.]
Ranma: Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean it... It was just habit.
Akane: Oh. Well..okay...
[Ranma gets upsteadily to his feet and moves back to class, Akane following.
After school, Ranma and Akane are walking home when Ryouga leaps out with a
bucket of water.]
Ryouga: Ranma! This time you are mine!
[He throws the water on Ranma and stares when nothing happens.]
Ryouga: Wha..at? How? I don't get it...
Ranma: Bad luck, Ryouga. I'm cured. And now you're buried!
Ryouga: NOO!
Ranma: (grins) Yep.
Ryouga: Curse you, Ranma...
Ranma: Come on! Let's go!
Ryouga: Grrr! SHISHIHOUKOUDAN!
[Ryouga launches a fireball, which Ranma counters.]
Ranma: MOUKO TAKABISHA!
[The two blasts hit each other and explode, showering everyone in rubble. A
large piece hits Akane a glancing blow. She collapses unconscious.]
Ranma: Akane!
Ryouga: Akane-san!
[Ranma runs over and picks her up.]
Ranma: I'll deal with you later!
[Ranma turns and leaps away with Akane in his arms.]
Ryouga: WAIT! RANMA! JERK!
[Ranma arrives at the Tendou Doujou a few moment's later.]
Ranma: Kasumi! Tendou-ojisan! Akane's hurt!
[Souun and Kasumi walk into the room.]
Souun: Oh! What has happened to my daughter?!
Kasumi: It looks like a head wound.
Ranma: (nods) She got hit by a rock when Ryouga and I were fighting.
Souun: What did you do?
Ranma: Me?! Nothing! It was an accident.
Kasumi: It's not too bad. She'll be alright.
Ranma: (sighs) Thank goodness. In that case... I'll go and see to Ryouga...
[Ranma gets up and goes out. He finds Ryouga a little later and kicks him
into a wall.]
Ranma: Good one, Ryouga! Akane is unconscious thanks to you!
Ryouga: NO! It's not my fault! You're the one who counter blasted!
Ranma: You shouldn't have been using that move near Akane. You know she's too
clumsy to get out of the way!
Ryouga: But-
Ranma: (points) You did it to her!
Ryouga: NOOOOOO! I'm sorry, Akane-san...
Ranma: Idiot!
[Ranma rushes him and kicks him in the face then uppercuts him. Ryouga reels
and Ranma double chops his neck, felling him. Ranma then turns and back kicks
him unconscious.]
Ranma: Stupid jerk. Hurting my fiancee.
[Ranma is suddenly hit by a strange thought.]
Ranma: (thought) I...care...about Akane...
Urd: (in shadows, to herself) Hooray. About time, too.
[Ranma looks around for a moment, then turns and runs back home. When he
arrives, he sits near Akane, waiting for her to wake up. Finally after about
an hour, she regains consciousness.]
Ranma: Akane!
Akane: Ranma... What happened?
Ranma: Ryouga and I fought and you got hit... Sorry, Akane... I would never
want to hurt you...
Akane: (smiles) I know that...
Ranma: I went and taught Ryouga a lesson.
Akane: Oh. You didn't have to do that.
Ranma: I think I did. Are you feeling okay?
Akane: Yes. Thanks, Ranma.
Ranma: It's okay.
[Suddenly they notice that the entire family is watching them.]
Souun: Now is the time, son.
Genma: You know what to do, boy.
Kasumi: It's so romantic.
Ranma: What?
Nabiki: Ask her to marry you, baka!
Ranma: WHAT?!
Genma: Do it, Ranma. For your father.
Souun: Yes. The time has come, Ranma. Fulfill your destiny.
Ranma: Er... Well... Um... Akane...
Akane: ...
Ranma: Akane... W- Will... Will you marry...me?
Akane: (smiling) N-
Souun: YES! Of course she will! Hooray!
Akane: But-
[Before Ranma and Akane know it, they are dressed in wedding clothes and in
the doujou.]
Ranma: Whoa! Talk about drive through weddings!
[In the rafters, Urd is watching.]
Urd: (thought) Heh! Urd's love magic never fails! Well... Not TOO often,
anyway...
[As the ceremony progresses, Urd gets caught up in the moment and is not
paying attention to her position.]
Urd: (thought) Weddings are so beautiful... I wonder when Belldandy will marry
that baka Keiichi... It's so obvious she loves him!
[She fails to notice that she is slipping. By the time she realises, it is
too late. She drops from the rafters and lands on Ranma.]
Ranma: Oof!
Ranma: (unconscious) ...
Akane: Huh?
Kasumi: Oh...
Nabiki: Strange.
Souun: Who are you?!
Genma: Maybe I did forget one...
Urd: Er... Hello. Excuse me...
[Akane stares at Urd for a moment and then grabs Ranma.]
Akane: Pervert!
Urd: Wait...
Akane: Ranma no baka!
[Akane boots Ranma out through the roof and into the night.]
Ranma: What did I do?!
Akane: That jerk! He was playing with you all along! I can't believe I almost
married him!
Urd: Er... It's not what it looks like... I was trying to get you two
together.
Akane: You were?!
Urd: Yeah... I'm a goddess of love, after all.
Akane: You're not very good at it.
Urd: (embarresed) I know...
Akane: In that case... (looks at hole in roof) I guess I'd better find
Ranma...
Urd: Good idea.
[Akane runs out, leaving everyone behind.]
Souun: Oh, woe! Will they ever be married?!
Urd: Yes. Wait and see. (winks)
Nabiki: Oh, well... There goes the wedding...
Kasumi: I thought this was a little premature...
Genma: (to Urd) Did I promise your father that you could marry my son?
Urd: NO! I told you! I'm a goddess! I came to help you morons!
Genma: There's no need to be rude. It isn't very becoming for a goddess...
Urd: (collapses) ...
==============================================================================
Wishful Thinking - Epilogue -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[Akane's Room, Later]
[Ranma and Akane are sitting on Akane's bed, still wearing their wedding
clothes.]
Ranma: That was scary. We almost got married!
Akane: Don't even say it! It was too close.
Ranma: Can you imagine it? Us?! Married?! Hahahahahaha!
Akane: Yes. Imagine it. Hahahahaha... Hmmm...
Ranma: Akane?
Akane: Hm?
Ranma: You're not laughing.
Akane: So? There are worse fates than marriage...
Ranma: WHAT?! You must be nuts?!
Akane: It might happen... One day...
[Ranma jumps up and leaps out the closed window, and into the night.]
Ranma: (voice) Over my dead body!
Akane: (laughs) Hahahahahahahaha... (whispers to herself) I love you,
Ranma... Even if you are an idiot...
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- Fin -
plunger@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au