A crowd of news cameras and Dictaphone wielding reporters milled
about in the field of Furinkan gaku. A large jagged tear in the earth runs
along. A sign that reads "Warning: Unstable earth!". 

That last sentence is a sentence fragment.

	Well, at first I thought that your comments on grammar were
totally superflous and kinda rude considering that you seemed to like the
plot...

        In the basement of the school, ruins have been uncovered by the 
earthquake. A large mosaic covers the floor, and a odd canister sits on a  
pedestal at on end of the ruins. A news crew, Nabiki and Kuno stand among the 
ruins. Kuno stands looking rather important. Nabiki is waiting of to one 

								 off

side of the reporter.

It seems like you're switching tenses between past and present tenses in
this story.

        "And with us, are the discovers of the Ruins, Tendo Nabiki and Kuno

I think this should be "And with us are the discoverers..."

	...but I see now how bad grammar can lead to some confusion in
reading the story.

        Suddenly, something that looks like a waking blue dolphin runs 

... walking blue dolphin ...

	I wouldn't have caught that...I would have thought it was a weird
simile.

        "Errrr...umm...ya didn't ask him." Said Ranma, bugging out.

In this phrase, I think that the "ya" is confusing.  I think you mean...

    "Err... umm... You didn't ask him."

	    but the first and second times I read it, I parsed it, I got:

    "Errr...umm....yeah.  didn't ask him."

	    Which makes no sense, but my brain has to figure that out.

	Well, I really don't understand...but once I clean out my mailbox,
I can download the story and read it.

	Well, you just proved that critiquing the grammar is somewhat
important in clarifying the story (also keeps us from getting distracted
from the plot).  I knew there was a reason they teach us grammar in
school.  I enjoyed your critique...now I know I have that story
somewhere....

	Lan (who will read that fanfic today)

PS  I know this is a crossover...what I want to know is if I will
understand and enjoy it as much if I knew more about El Hazard.... are
there any fan pages up for that?