Henry J. Cobb wrote:

"The Pit of Fear."

Nice little vignette! Is it ground work for a larger piece? 

"He couldn't, he wouldn't dare, he knows what I'd do."

The puncutation here is a bit strange...
Maybe: "He couldn't! He wouldn't dare! He knows what I'd do!" (?)
or as a mutter?
"He couldn't...he wouldn't dare! He knows what I'd do...
 

"But he lets you kick him all of the time.

Maybe: ...hit him all...

"More than anything else in the world dear.

world, dear. (might want to reconsider that last endearment, it just 
doesn't sound right. At least to me. *shrug*)

Akane did not notice when Kasumi took the pot from her lifeless
fingers.

Maybe: ...spoon from her...
 

"W-w-why did you do this sis?" Akane's fingers remained wrapped around
as if she still held the pot.

Here again, I think you want spoon, not pot. But whatever.

Just my two cents to keep or chuck as you see fit.

Thanks for sharing it!

Windlily

(dragoncritter@theCelestialTemple.com)