On Fri, 23 Aug 1996, Zen wrote:

       Gosunkugi immediately turned a whiter shade of pale. "Follow...Ranma?"

Ooooh, this line is beautiful indeed.... ^_^

    Heeheeheehee...I'm glad you think so, too!

Zen likes it... your dialogue is getting even better!  The characterization
is excellent as well, though Zen notices that the reporters are not telling
Noriko that Ranma tried to save their sorry butts. *sigh*  Ahh well, that's
the media for you!

    Hmm...I think you have something there. I did insert that little 
protest Suzuki made, but it might not be enough. Let it be suffice that 
Noriko is beyond rationality at this point in time, anyway. I'll go back 
and fix that.

Zen likes the portrayal of Ranma - and the muffins were priceless.

    Actually, after I had re-read part two, I realized that the muffin 
thing wasn't my original creation, and I had indirectly plagiarized. :( 
Someone else (I can't remember who) had set up a similar situation where 
after being handed a basket of Akane's muffins, Ranma is caught by Akane 
in the act of using the muffins as cinderblocks for breaking. I hope this 
is different enough so that the original author isn't offended. Are you 
out there?

Considering the absence of spelling errors, glaring grammatical mistakes or
semantic problems, and the definite *presence* of good descriptions, tight
dialogue and well paced action, Zen cannot really imagine why you would be
dissatisfied with it.

    Well, I thought Ryoga's entrance was a bit too much of an 
author's-licence-to-set-up-coincidences-to-make-his-storyline-work thing. 
Also, I never liked Ryoga in fanfics very much, finding him to be 
downright tiresome after the umpteenth "Ranma, die!!" I was afraid that 
my portrayal of Ryoga is no better...

Tell Zen, does Noriko have any Kunou blood in her?

    Heh... None that I know of, but look forward to Kunou in a future 
installment of "Scoop of the Day" (thanks, Mike W. Loader!).

Zen will be eagerly awaiting the next installment.

Now, to borrow from Noriko, Get your butt in gear and write more of it! ^_^

    Thanks! I'll have the next part ready in about a week-and-a-half or 
so (school starts soon). I'm really glad you like this!

---
Raphael See