On Sat, 17 Aug 1996 22:08:00 +1000 (EST) Da Plunger said:

: Hi, Everybody! (Hi, Dr. Nick!)
: 
: I've tossed off another load of utter crap! Actually, it's one of those 
: things that seemed like a nice idea at the time, but didn't quite execute... 
: I'd appreciate some suggestions...
:                                                    - P-word.

I think it worked quite well.  The basic idea is sound, the
execution was well done;  I enjoyed it.

I presume that the "ADD BIT" piece meant that there is still
something missing, that you want to fill in.  Even without that
addition, the story flow is easy to follow and smooth.

The only thing I'd like to see would be Ryouga's role being
fleshed out a bit more.  The scenes between him and Akane are
wonderful already, but after Ranma's return, all the
characterization stops - He just rants, screams and attacks Ranma.
Perhaps he should try to turn to Akane, although he would probably
disheartened by that, because her love for Ranma would shine
through.

Oh, and it would be nice to see Akane disther a bit longer between
the two.  Of course we know she loves Ranma - the two are destined
for each other, after all - but Ryouga has been playing the
substitute for quite some time now (When he was able to find her,
that is), so she might have become more attached to him than is
shown here.  For a moment, I actually thought that the old
situation would be re-established with changed roles - that it
would be *Akane* who has the multiple fiances. :)



:                  Special Attacks shamelessly stolen from SFA.

Woss SFA, then?


: NOTE: This had NOTHING to do with the Arnie Schwarznegger (sp?) film.

And even less with the book _We Can Remember It for You
Wholesale_, that the godawful movie was based on.  And when I say
"based", I mean it in the sense that bread is based on wheat:  It
was beaten thoroughly, ground to dust, drenched with water and
diluted with dozens of other ingredients that have *nothing* in
common with it, knead into a viscous mass and finally baked until
it hardens.


Sebastian
-- 
       <http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/>
                         Comics reviewed 
-- 
        LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Your desire for justice and truth will be overshadowed by your
desire for filthy lucre and a decent meal.  Be gracious and
polite.  Someone is watching you, so stop staring like that.