In the middle of moving to Toronto, I've worked up the basis for a new story
- I'll be putting the instalments out as I generate them.  (I guess the
Otakon FFML party worked after all)  ;)

ciao!
Da Gopher



			Tenchi Muyo!  Bug Bash

		by AlberCrombie (gopher@venus.net)

				Prologue

	In our galaxy there are things we have yet to comprehend; stars with
no names, gases that defy recognition, planets which hide from sight. 
However, there are other things that cause more confusion for those who know
of them.  For example, once they meet her, few are able to explain why the
Galaxy Police would ever accept people like....

	"MIHOSHI!!!!!!!"
	"huh?"  The Galaxy Policwoman said as she twisted her control cube
for the nth^3 time.
	"HIT THE BRAKES!!!!!!!"  Yukinojo screamed.  He was the police
crusier's on board computer and his panic circuits were overloading.  He had
made this trip too many times, and he was not thrilled about the idea
of ending up as scrap metal once again.  
	Every time that Mihoshi went to her floating HQ at Jupiter to make a
report it was always the same on return to Earth; she kept forgetting that
the Earth didn't have automatic landing beacons beaming landing instructions
to incoming ships.  Because of this, each time, Yukinojo had to remind her
to land the ship by hand, and each time, she would blow it, and he - along
with the rest of the ship - would 'become one' with the planet below. He
seemed destened to spend eternity as a huge lump of scrap, devoid of
electronic life.  At least until the wonderful Washu-chan rebuild him and
the rest of the ship.
	Yukinojo wondered how long the genius of the galaxy would keep
rebuilding him and the ship for Mihoshi.  For that matter, he also pondered,
how long would she, or could she put up with Mihoshi?  Questions for another
day, if it ever came.
	Somehow, tho, Mihoshi actually hit the brakes with the flurry of
button punching and lever twisting that followed from Yukinojo's abrupt
alarm.  The ship leveled out and slowed it's decent.  The whip board
computer breathed a sigh of relief; he would definately *HAVE* to talk to
Washu about giving him control of the ship's main flight functions.  A
computer was not supposed to have humanoid features, but he was deffinately
gaining a noticable twitch everytime he thought about Mihoshi's driving, or
worse, her landings.
	"All better!"  She smiled at the computer face in front of her.
	"Thankfully for once," he mumbled in reply.  How someone so empty of
common sense made the Galaxy Police, Yukinojo still hadn't figured out.  He
folded his 'neck', a long arm on which his 'head' was at one end and the
other was attached to the ceiling, and went back to working on some various
ship projects.  Mihoshi went back to fiddling with that damn cube of hers.
	That was another thing that disturbed Yukinojo - why no one had
taken the blasted thing away from her.  She had proved many times that she
had not one clue on how to operate it, yet she was determined to continualy
fiddle with it until she got it right.  The problem was, the McDonald's
Fry-guy shaped computer thought, that the 'it' that was to be 'right'
constantly changed because she constantly forgot what she was working on!
This minute she might be trying to get the ship to make a cup of coffee then
the next she would be trying to convince the toaster oven to dry the cat. 
If she would just work on one idea, she might actually get it.
	Yukinojo prayed that she would never use it on him - he had
nightmares of being turned into a 1946 Dodge, a Mr. Coffee, or worse, a
galactic parking meter; it was things like this that always brought his
100,000 mile maintance check 20,000 miles early.  He glanced at the status
monitor and noticed they would both land in one piece, for once, at the
Jurian's Prince Tenchi's home.  He was glad.

	Mihoshi twisted her cube this way and that trying to get it to
make... uh, she wasn't sure any more.  The cocoa skinned blonde just
shrugged and decided she must have been after a cup of coffee so she twisted
the cube one time to the right, once to the left, and then back twice to the
right.
	No coffee, but the overhead lighting went *fizzl* then shorted out.
	"Oh, darn!"
	Yukinojo stuck his 'head' out from his little hidey hole in the
ceiling.  Good, he wasn't aparking meter yet.  He closed back up and hid
somemore.
	Mihoshi twisted and cranked the cube a few more times and then in a
fit of anger, slammed the cube down on the desk in front of her.  Yukinojo's
positron life flashed in front of his sensors when he realized what just
happened.  Abusing a control cube was a good way to complete the impossible
and improbable at the same time.  For example, if you wanted to generate the
hulking wreck of the Titanic at three parsecs from Earth, slam your control
cube into a brick wall for a while.  Why?  Because, it might just work.
	"Shoot!  I can never get this to work right!" 
	She didn't notice that the cube gleamed with a sickly, pale light
after it impacted with the desk, but she did notice the rustling sound that
appeared behind her right as the gleam disappeared.
	"What's that?!"  She stutered.  Looking around, she noticed movement
from the darkend corner.  
	"Uh....I'm a Galaxy Police office..." she gulped "...ficer, c-c-come
out!"  
	Yukinojo, sticking his head out againg to survey any possible
damage, noted that bravery was not part of her more appealing traits, but he
had to give her credit with her duty - she may be scared but she was ready
for what ever would happen next.  She had her laser pistol out and pointed
at the darkened corner.
	"aahhhh....I don't want to hurt you!  Come out of there!  Please!" 
	The something in the darkness shifted again.  Mihoshi whimpered, and
tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, she hated not knowing what was
going on.  But, being a Galaxy Police officer had reinforced the sense of
survival in her, she tightened the grip on her pistol and aimed into the
center of the dark corner.
	Yukinojo stayed silent - there wasn't anything he could do.  He just
prayed that if she fired she wouldn't hit him or anything else vital to the
ship!  If a computer could sweat, he would have been losing gallons right
then.
	Mihoshi stood up from her command seat. "Alright, I'm going to
come over there!  D-d-don't you move!"  She took a step forward and the
something in the darkness jumped; straight for her.
	"AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
	*BBBBRRRTTTZZZZ*  
	"EEEIIKKK!!!!!"  
	*THUD*
	"YYYYEEEEEEKK!"

[Later, after piecing the fragments of his memory back together, Yukinojo
figured out that Mihoshi paniced, fired her pistol, hit his left visual
sensor causing him to scream (wouldn't you?), and then she collapsed
screaming on the floor as the 'thing' slammed into.]

	Mihoshi nerviously blinked and looked at the thing sitting on her
lap. It was about the size of Ryo-oh-ki but was white and fuzz, googly eyes,
ears like a rabbit, and 8 spindly legs.  It just looked at her and wiggled
it's nose.
	"You're cute!"  She squeeked, forgetting her fear.  She reached out
and rubbed it's ears.  
	Just then, the Ship's breaking system disingaged and started
to plummit straight down into Masaki lake below.  Right before the impact,
Yukinojo fired a distress call to Washu-chan with practiced ease.

			*	*	*

			BOOM!!!!!!

	An explosion shook Washu's sub-dimension lab.  Washu looked up from
her computer terminal towards a panel on a nearby piece of equipment. There,
on the top, blinked a little red light.
	"Just as I thought - Yukinojo went ker-plunk again. *Sigh* He has
too tough of a life for a simple police computer.  Oh, well, I'll get to him
a little later." 
	She went back to hacking on Subnet - Galaxian equivilent of the
Internet.

			*	*	*

	"WWAAAAHHH!!!!!!"
	"Now, Mihoshi, there's no need to cry, Washu-chan will get your ship
rebuilt...again." Tenchi added that last word after he realized that this
was the fifth time in a year that Washu would be called upon to rebuild
Mihoshi's crusier.  Deffinatley a new record.
	"*Sniff*  But I just had it fixed!  And it was working so well for
once!"  The wet blonde pulled the blanket tighter around her soaking body. 
Somehow, she always figured out a way to survive the impact of her ship and
the bottom of Masaki lake.
	Sasami handed her a nice, hot cup of tea and Rho-oh-ki climbed up
and cuddled into Mihoshi's lap trying to comfort her.  
	"If you didn't keep going back to make reports you wouldn't have
this problem." Ryoko said, hovering only a few feet away.
	"But, it's part of my job!"  Mihoshi cried,  "I'm supposed to do
things like that!"
	Ryoko desperately tried to not teleport screaming from the room as
Mihoshi flashed her big, empty, blue, saucer-like eyes at the space pirate. 
Having to deal with that view too long would deffinately drive anybody
nuts.
	"I mean, if I don't...OH NO!" Horror gripped Mihoshi. "Where is
it!?" Scattering her support group, she frantically started to search about
the room.  "It was here before the crash!  I saw it!  I know it made it out! 
Has anybody seen it?"
	"Huh, seen what?" Ryoko cried, now hovering safely out of Mihoshi's
paniced search.
	"The little rabbit thing!  It was with me on the ship, and I know I
saw it here a few minutes ago, so I know it survived the crash.  But where
did it get to?"  
	Sasami cringed as Mihoshi ran into the kitchen and started to
scatter various pots and dishes about from the cabinets.
	"...Rabbit thing...?"
	Tenchi and crew turned to the new voice, it was Washu's.  She had
just stepped from her laboratory to see a frantic Mihoshi tear past.  "What
kind of 'rabbit thing'?"
	Mihoshi stepped from the kitchen now covered with flour and soy
sauce. "The little rabbit thing with eight legs that popped up in the ship
right before I crashed.  I saw a few minutes ago, I want to find it and make
sure it's not hurt!"  Then she bolted out the front door to look outside. 
	Sasami, with cabbit on top, raced into the kitchen and screamed when
she saw the mess Mihoshi had made on her bizarre quest.
	Washu didn't say anything, she just stood there and pondered. 
"Hmmmm....'rabbit thing'...'eight legs'.  This isn't good."  With that she
turned and headed back into her lab.  
	"What's up Washu-chan?" Tenchi asked.  He knew the look on her face,
and he knew it wasn't good.
	She stopped, halfway into the darkness that was her lab, and looked
back at him, "I have to go make a bug report."

			End Prologue

--==---==-=-=-=-=-====-==-----===-=-====-----=-==-=-=-=-=-===-=-====---===--=
AlberCrombie - Hentai Space Gopher		    e-mail: gopher@venus.net
http://www.venus.net/~gopher 			  **fansubs available here**
_/\ Ranma 1/2 _/\ Maison Ikkoku _/\ Cuety Honey _/\ F^3 \_/ Dragon Pink _/\_

Awakened in the morning to more air pollution warnings
Still we sleepwalk off to work while our nervous systems jerk
					-Megadeth  _Dawn Patrol_