Subject: Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fanfict Writing Contest
From: joenikki@netcom.com (Joseph Palmer)
Date: 8/19/1996, 11:35 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Below are the entrys received to date. There is no particular time
limit on this, so get on with it. If it gets good (BAD) enough I'll
send it to R.A.A.C.
Contest rules are at the bottom.

-J

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Most esoteric anime refrence award:

        "Ah, Miss Katsuragi," said Mrs. Kakei fussily as she stood at 
Misato's door, "since you didn't attend the meeting of the Tenants' 
Association last night, I'm here to inform you that we decided to ban 
pets from the apartment, and your little friend here" -- she gestured 
toward an outraged-looking Pen-Pen -- "is going to have to go."

                        The Tragedy of Pen      -- Julian Fong

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"I'll bet you fart in airlocks too!" award:

        Ranma is dead.
                                                --Hayes

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(Submitted In refrence to the above submission.)
 Kuno Tatewaki sensitivity award:

        YOU GOT MY VOTE.
                                                -- Uncle Fester
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A-Ko-hab award:

Just call me Ishmale.
                                                -- Noecker
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Ryouga Hibiki award for accidental submission:
(You'll note that this message, one of well over a  dozen sent out by
Pat on that fatefull day, met all of the requirements for the contest.)

how to i get off this tafml thing???

                                                --Pat
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Now this story needs development award:

As he (or rather it, for it would be difficult to call him
a him anymore, since any outward appearance of gender had 
obviously disappeared (or at least obviously to everyone else
at Jusenkyo, for he (or rather it, as I had previously
mentioned) seemed not to have taken in his appearance), and
so perhaps a new epithet to describe the gender would be
more appropriate) rose from the pond, a scream erupted 
(or would have erupted, had he had any vocal apparatus
anymore, as it was, it just beeped three times) from him
as he realized (somewhere deep inside him, although outwardly
his thoughts were more to the point of "focus, wide-angle
shot, 400 speed, ready...etc.) that there would be nothing
stopping Akane from thinking he was a pervert now.

        Ranma 1/2:  Is This Canon?              --Sean Gaffney
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There are so many crossings I think we need an overpass award:

     Dark storms, heady with the oppressive weight of another reality,
rolled across Nerima as Ranma suited up into his Veritech and Arch
Overlord Kasumi summoned her dark legions of Ryo-oh-kis to stand with the
Lodoss rebels against the evil, world-warping Dark Schnidely and the
Written-In Otaku Corps, backed by a chittering, gibbering legion of Sasami
shoggoths, but none of that really matters because our story starts in
Juuban on a bright summer's day where Tsukino Serena was cheerfully
strangling little birdies on her way to school.

         - from _Slightly Less Mighty Than the Sword but
        Bigger than a Breadbasket,
                                                -- Th3 K-RAD 0taku
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Yet another night at the Tendou Dojou award:

  A cry resounded through the night, wrapping around the wind which 
hurled the dusky, rain laden clouds through the night, a cry full of 
frustrated longing from the little ancient gargoyle that wore the 
semblance of a man, a cry which caused all who hear it to quiver in fear 
of that one word, "Panties!"

                                                -- Windlily

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No award for me since I started this mess:

Lately their relationship had stabilized to the point that the
Furinkan High Meteorology club had been forced to purchase long
life batteries for their experiment package that Ranma had agreed
to carry in his backpack during now less frequent visits to the
upper atmosphere.

                                                -- J. Palmer

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New contest: The contest is named after  the author of the immortal lines:
"It was a dark and stormy night." The object of the contest is to write
the opening sentence to the worst possible Fanfict. 

Rule #1. One sentence Only. You may include dailog, or quotes, but only
         as part of that _one_ [1] sentence.

Rule #2. Don't ignore rule #1.

Rule #3. Puns are encouraged

Rule #4. The subject line should always contain "Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fanfict
         Writing Contest"

Rule #5. Break rule #4 and you will be disqualified.

Rule #6. Rules #1 and #4 are to prevent accidental contest entries.

Rule #7. Use any darn name you want, put it at the end like this: -- Penname

 

______________________________________________________________________________
Joseph Palmer                       Please send BeBox mail to jpalmer@be.com
Director of Hardware Engineering    http://www.be.com - comp.sys.be - #BeBox
Be, Incorporated.                  "Hey Akane, could you hand me that hammer?"
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The Seasons  stories are at :ftp.netcom.com /pub/jo/joenikki