Well, here's my first attempt at one of these C&C theater articles. I hope
it's at least somewhat entertaining as well as helpful for the article...
[Getting back to work at AMSensei #13...]
Peter L. Ward falcon@best.com Kyusaku on IRC #Anime!
Caretaker of the Urd Shrine (http://www.best.com/~falcon/urdhome.htm)
"Sensei...my brother...my brother...promise me...that you'll
kick his ass!" Jinnai Nanami - El Hazard #7
-------------- Enclosure number 1 ----------------
[The scene opens in a darkened holovid screening room. In the dim
light, we see a couple of girls shuffle around trying to find their
seats.]
[The lights come up and we see the pair of girls more clearly. One
appears to be a high-scool-age girl with lavender hair worn in a style
reminiscent of Jung Freud's and wearing a gray knee-length dress
styled like a sailor fuku.]
[The other girl is in her early twenties with shoulder-length straight
black hair and exotic looks. She's wearing a red silk tank-top and a
loose, black short skirt.]
[Lavender-haird girl]
Um...hello? Are we on?
[Black-haired girl]
I think we are, Mika.
[Mika]
Oh! Right. Hello everyone! I'm Miyakawa Mika!
[Black-haired girl]
And I'm Toriyama Akiko.
[Mika]
And welcome to Magical Girl Fanfic Theater! This is where we review
new fanfics whenever they come out...or at least whenever our creator
feels like it.
[Akiko]
Where does the "Magical Girl" fit in with our title? That's because
we're doing this to keep busy until our creator gets around to writing
fics starring us as a magical girl team.
[Mika]
Right! Speaking of teams, where's the rest of our team?
[Tinny, female voice coming from below the camera angle]
I'm here!
[Mika]
Oops! Sorry about forgetting about you, Penko!
[Mika crouches down and lifts up a robotic penguin...obviously "Penko"]
[Penko]
Sorry to break the news to you girls, but two members haven't been cast
just yet. As for the third...
[A loud wail can be heard growing louder off-camera. A second later,
another high school girl bursts into the theater, yelling "Sorry,
sorry, sorry, sooorrryyy!!!!" She is wearing the same kind of dress
Mika is wearing, as well as wearing her neck-length blond hair with a
blue hairband that leaves it in bangs.]
[Mika, voice dripping in sarcasm]
So glad you made it, Natsumi. What happened? Miss Kuno give you
detention again?
[Natsumi]
Waaah!! It's not fair! How was I supposed to know that Romeo and
Juliet were supposed to be in love???
[Mika, in an aside to Akiko]
I swear that she's hopeless. She must've read the Jump Off the Cliff
Notes version...
[Akiko]
Could be worse. I read a while back that Miss Kuno's great-grandfather
whacked other students around with a boken and her great-great-grand-
father tried to give them bad haircuts...
[Mika]
No kidding? Wonder how she turned out normal with a family tree like that?
Anyway, Natsumi, if you'll stop the bawling, we can get on with the show.
[Natsumi]
Really? Are we, ummm...what's the word? On?
[Mika]
Yup!
[Natsumi, to the holovid camera that Mika's pointing out]
Aaaa!!! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sooorrryyy!!! I'm Mura Natsumi!
[Mika]
And now that we've gotten that straightened out, on with the show!
[The lights dim down again, with Natsumi's muffled screams of fear of
the dark in the background. The holovid matrix lights up to show...]
Okay, here's my first ever attempt at a fanfic! Please feel free to
comment, criticize, kill, correct, or clean to your heart's content!
[Mika]
That's what we're here for...at least until we get our own fanfic
series...
Scoop of the Day
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic
Chapter One: Here's Noriko
Noriko Hirauchi held her head in her hands and sighed as she
looked at the chaos around her.
The journalism room of Furinkan High was always in some state of
disorder, but this afternoon, entropy levels were at an all-time high. It
was deadline day, and just about everyone in the room scrambled about, each
dealing with their own little crises. The guy in the corner --yes, that
one-- he had lost the floppy that contained the article that was due today.
The girl over there with the ribbon in her hair -- she was supposed to have
met the principal this afternoon to interview him about his latest truancy
policy, but he was currently unavailable, something that had to do with a
pineapple bomb going haywire and him going to the infirmary. And the guy way
in the back sprawled on the floor, well, one of the teachers had caught him
sneaking around the faculty lounge trying to overhear the latest details on
the bomb explosion and decided to drain him of his chi, yammering something
about "delinquency."
[Akiko]
Yup...sounds like the offices of a school newspaper alright. I
should know, having been on the paper at Mizuhara high years ago...
[Mika]
Is it just me, or is it really hard to tell where a paragraph ends
and another begins?
[Penko]
Yes...it happens throughout the whole fic, in fact. Maybe a line
break between paragraphs or at least better indentation would help.
[Natsumi]
Ummm...excuse me...what's a paragraph?
[Mika]
Grrrrr...roll fic!
Noriko glanced over it quickly to make sure it was an article
about softball and not last night's math homework. The printer was
broken? Well, she could deal with that later. "Hey, what about those
photos I asked for?" No response. "Hey! Gosunkugi! Drop that stupid doll and
get over here!"
A rather sheepish, baggy-eyed freshman quickly made his way over
to Noriko's desk. "Sorry, here they are," he mumbled as he handed an
envelope over. Noriko opened it and examined its contents. Ah, here was a
good photo of the team captain (Akane, wasn't it?) catching a pop fly. And
another of Akane at bat. And Akane sitting in the dugout. And Akane chasing
some pig-tailed girl with a bat, and Akane getting some water, and
waitaminute were these all pictures of...
"Gosunkugi no BAKA!!" Noriko shouted. "You wasted an entire roll
taking pictures of AKANE??"
Gosunkugi blanched. "S-s-sorry! Th-that's the roll I bought for
myself. H-here're the real pictures!" He quickly shoved an identical
envelope across the table. Noriko snatched it up and quickly looked
inside.
[Mika]
I didn't know Gosunkugi was on the Furinkan high paper.
[Akiko]
Well, it does make sense. He does tend to be good with a camera.
Not as good as Tendo Nabiki, but pretty darn good, from what my
20th century report research indicates...
"Okay, that's better. I'd better not catch you wasting our film,
you know! That film costs money, and we're rather tight on funds!"
"H-h-hai, Noriko-san! Gomen!" Gosunkugi quickly scurried away.
Noriko sighed once more. The chaos seemed to have dropped to
manageable levels; the guy had found his floppy in the computer's drive, the
girl had managed to contact the principal on the phone, and the guy on the
floor was even starting to come around. Sometimes her crew was a bit tough
to work with, but they always managed to pull through somehow.
[Akiko]
Yup. Spoken like a true editor. We editors have to be slavedrivers
to get those slackers on staff to get their act together.
Noriko allowed a brief wave of pride to wash over her. Her crew.
Her paper. After all, she was editor-in-chief of the Furinkan Informer, and
had single-handedly rescued the paper from the rut of mediocrity it was
stuck in when she had arrived at Furinkan just a little over a year and a
half ago. To be editor-in-chief as a sophomore, that was unthinkable. And to
be editor-in-chief practically immediately as a newcomer to Furinkan, that
was even more unthinkable. But, after a stellar first year as a reporter
(getting the scoop on the Oni invasion was a plus), everyone on the paper
had agreed that editor-in-chief was where Noriko Hirauchi belonged.
[Akiko]
Hmmmm...pretty impressive at her age. I wasn't editor-in-chief for the
Mizuhara Investigator until my senior year.
[Mika]
Um, Akiko? Are we done with the flashbacks yet?
[Akiko]
Sorry, Mika. I was just reminiscing, that's all. This fic brings out
a lot of memories for me. By the way, Mika, that's just reminiscing,
not a full-blown flashback.
[Mika]
Oh.
"Hey, chief! Got the layout for next week's edition right here!"
Noriko broke out of her reverie and directed her attention towards
Suzuki, the layout editor. Suzuki waved a sheaf of paper. "It's a real
beaut, too! Okay, we've got the normal header for the front page, and the
top headline is--"
"Let me guess," Noriko interrupted. "'Student Brawl Causes Damage
to School: Disagreement between martial artists becomes out of hand,U" she
recited with an almost bored look on her face.
[Mika]
Ummm...what's with the ",U" at the end of the headline, there?
[Penko]
A typo, perhaps?
Suzuki looked crestfallen. "You already took a look at the
layout, chief?"
"No, but that's what the headline has been for the last four
editions of the Informer!" Noriko said, frustrated. "It's gotten so that
nothing short of Nerima sinking into the ocean will even make the students
turn their heads!"
[Akiko]
Ah, yes. The well-documented "Nerima Syndrome", where residents of
Nerima district never even blink at the odd happenings surrounding
them. Much like 20th century New York city before a horde of youma
took it over.
[Mika]
Ummm...I think it's still that way today in 2095.
[Akiko]
That's true. I don't think the youma made any difference at all...
"Well, chief, it is rather important news," Suzuki remarked,
somewhat annoyed.
"Yeah, it was news the first time, all right, but then the
incidents kept occurring over and over again!" Noriko shook her head in
frustration. "Why can't this be a normal high school like everywhere else?
Somewhere where fights don't occur every single darn day and you don't have
to worry about losing your head as you walk to your next class. It's all
those darn martial artists!" Noriko spat out the word "artists." "Some
'art,' breaking everything in sight! In fact--"
[Mika]
You know, it's going to pretty interesting to see the ranmaverse from
other viewponts than those involved in martial arts.
[Natsumi]
Excuse me, Mika, but what's the ranmaverse?
[Mika, barely containing her pent-up frustration]
Akiko? Could you explain things to Natsumi here? I don't think I
could without bitch-slapping her.
Just then, Mr. Watanabe, the advisor, poked his head into the
doorway. "Noriko, could I talk to you for a moment?" He gestured towards his
office.
Mr. Watanabe calmly sat down in his chair and studied the
standing, slightly nervous Noriko in front of him. She was a cute enough
girl, slightly short for her age, with shoulder-length wavy brown hair and
round glasses that made her already large eyes appear even larger than they
were, creating an impression of eager, although somewhat untried,
intelligence. Watanabe-sensei drew a breath inward, realizing what he had to
say to Noriko would not be pleasant. Still, although she didn't look it,
Noriko was a tough girl, and would probably be able to take the news well.
[Mika]
I wonder why the author waited this long to describe Noriko here?
"Noriko, I couldn't help but overhearing what you were saying
about the martial artists in our school," Mr. Watanabe said carefully,
fingering a letter opener in the shape of a small katana.
"Hai, sensei," Noriko said, looking at the ground.
With lightning speed, Mr. Watanabe hurled the letter opener in
Noriko's direction. Before Noriko could even gasp in surprise, her
reflexes took over her body and Noriko caught the blade just centimeters
from her face. "What did you that for?? You could have been killed!"
[Mika]
He could have been killed? I thought *he* was the one who threw the
blade at Noriko?
[Akiko]
Maybe he was the one saying that line...
[Penko]
Either way, it wasn't made clear who was speaking at all.
[Natsumi]
Waaaaa!!! I'm soooooo confused!!!
[Mika]
So what else is new?
[Penko]
Why are you so mean to her, Mika?
[Mika]
Hey, you try being her classmate the past couple of years and see
how long you control your temper...
Mr. Watanabe's smile was wan. "No, I couldn't have, and you know
it as much as I do." He readjusted himself in his chair. "Noriko, I know you
didn't mean what you were saying in there about martial arts." A statement,
not a question.
[Mika]
Great. More confusing dialogue...
Noriko was indignant. "Not mean it? Of course I did! They cause
nothing but trouble, and damage, and..." Noriko trailed off at the sight of
the stern look that had replaced her sensei's smile.
"Noriko, you couldn't have caught that letter opener and still
think that you don't want anything to do with the martial arts. And I
thought I had taught you so well." Mr. Watanabe waved his hand,
dismissing his last thought.
[Mika]
What, another martial artist? Doesn't that poor school have enough
of them already?
[Akiko]
I guess you spoke too soon about a non-martial artist perspective,
Mika.
[Mika]
Grrrrr....
"Anyway, that's not the reason I brought you in
here. I went to the faculty meeting today at the infirmary since Principal
Kuno couldn't make it to school this afternoon."
"Oh? What happened?"
"As you know, maintenance costs for Furinkan this year have been,
shall we say, somewhat higher than they have been in the past." Mr.
Watanabe pulled out a packet and handed it to Noriko. "Now, what you are
about to look at must not leave this office."
Noriko scanned the page of numbers. "It looks like a budget for
next year," she remarked. "Maintenance costs, improvements, funds to
various programs: rugby, gymnastics, Hawaii Club, softball,
yearbook...hey! Where's journalism's funds?"
Mr. Watanabe nodded gravely. "Since costs for repair and
maintenance have been so high this year, Principal Kuno has decided to
eliminate all of what he deems non-essential programs."
"Non-essential!? What about stupid Hawaii Club? Or Chemistry
Club? Or that awful Akane Tendo Fan Club?"
"Hawaii Club is Principal Kuno's pet club; he won't be getting
rid of that anytime soon. And the Chem and Akane Tendo Fan Club don't
receive funding in the first place." Mr. Watanabe paused. "I know this must
be tough for you, especially considering all you've done for the Informer.
You saved this paper from certain demise just a year ago when the biggest
news-breaking item was the opening of Ucchan's."
[Mika]
Now why wouldn't chem club be getting funds in the first place. You'd
think that it would be up there for funding...
[Akiko]
Who knows, Mika? Just one of those Nerima or Furinkan quirks, I
guess...
Tears threatened to well up in Noriko's eyes. "Saved it just so
it can be axed by the principal!" she flung bitterly.
"Not necessarily so. This budget you're looking at isn't a final
one, and is subject to change with Principal Kuno's fancy. I will do my best
to try and convince Principal Kuno's mind in the meantime. But, unless we
can find some funds soon..." Mr. Watanabe's eyes glittered darkly. "...I'm
afraid what you're looking at is going to be very close to what will be
passed for next year."
"But...but our fund-raisers barely cover our extra costs as it
is," Noriko said weakly.
Mr. Watanabe looked sympathetically at Noriko. "Yes, I know," he
said gently, "but that's just the truth of the matter. I'll help you as best
as I can for fund-raisers, but I just want you to know in advance that
saving the Informer may be a very difficult task indeed. I'm very sorry
Noriko, but there just isn't any other way to look at it. I'll make a formal
announcement next week when the next edition of the Informer gets out. Until
then, I'd appreciate silence in this matter."
[Penko]
Interesting that Watanabe-sensei used the term, "very difficult".
Very 20th century Japanese in mannerisms...
[Akiko]
What I want to know is the shifting from "Watanabe-sensei" to "Mr.
Watanabe." I mean, sure, it tends to be equivalent in terms, but
it just doesn't seem very consistant...
Noriko slowly walked back to the journalism room. Somehow,
deadline day didn't seem as urgent anymore. Not when she knew that the paper
would probably not last another year...!
All right, none of that, Noriko chided herself. You can worry
about that in a week. For now, you should concentrate on making the
Informer the best paper it can be! Still, Noriko did not feel too much
better. It was all the fault of those darn martial artists, breaking the
walls and equipment and such...
*Wait a minute*, Noriko thought to herself. *Maybe I can get back at
them after all.* She started walking faster.
[Mika]
Dum...da-dum-dum!
By the time Noriko arrived at the room, most of the chaos had
sorted itself out and the room was much quieter. She absently waved "hi" at
her staring crew and headed for the photograph file. Opening a drawer, she
pulled out a manila envelope marked "DISASTERS AND DAMAGE -- NO NEGATIVES."
She laid out the enclosed photos on the desk in front of her.
*These are photos of almost all the major disasters that have
struck Furinkan in the last year and a half*, Noriko thought to herself. The
first photo showed a pig-tailed boy wearing Chinese clothes and another
bandanna-clad boy locked in combat, causing a good-sized crater in the
sidewalk. *That pig-tailed boy is...Ranma Saotome, right? And I don't think
the other one goes to Furinkan.*
[Mika]
The plot thickens...or is it "sickens"?
A photo of Ranma still in combat with the other boy, this time
destroying a water fountain. The next series of photos were continuations of
that fight, only there was something strange about Ranma... *Oh, yeah, he's
got that strange curse of his that changes him into a girl sometimes.*
Another photo of a ramada being destroyed with Ranma clutching a girl in his
(her?) arms. *Hmmm...Akane, right? The captain of the softball team.
And...his fiancee?*
Another shot of Ranma in a battle pose as a girl, but his shirt
was damaged in the fight, leaving certain areas of the body exposed. *I had
to pay quite a pretty yen for this picture*, Noriko thought, recalling the
transaction with a junior with short brown hair. *But it was such a good
picture; it's a shame I couldn't use it for the article. Of course, back
then, no one knew that she and Ranma were the same person.*
[Akiko]
Well, when people found out remains a debate to this day. It seems
to be evenly split between the manga fans and the anime fans. It's
almost as bad as the conflicts to this day over the Japanese vs.
American versions of Sailor Moon...
[Mika]
Yeah...it's kinda weird seeing those Sailor Moonies on the street
corners fighting over "doctrine"...
[Natsumi]
I never could figure out why they called the red-haired girl "Ranma",
anyway? I thought that the pig-tailed guy was named "Ranma".
[Mika]
No comment...
More pictures. A shot of Furinkan's rhythmic gymnastics team in
bandages, the victims of a mugging. Another shot of Ranma in a leotard at
St. Hebereke's arena fighting Kodachi Kuno, St. Hebereke's then-champion.
*Ranma was involved in that one, too?* Another photo of an ice-skating
competition at Kolkhoz High's rink, but the rink was in shambles, the ice
having been completely shattered. *That skater...that's Ranma again!* A
post-game shot of the infirmary's wall being destroyed some Chinese girl
(what was her name? Shellac? Shaving Cream?), apparently after Ranma as
well. Another photo of that same Chinese girl (Shampoo, that was it!)
breaking down the cafeteria wall, this time to bring Ranma lunch.
A photo of the multi-purpose room being demolished by an enraged Ranma.
What were all those cats doing there? Another photo of Shampoo breaking down
a wall with her bicycle in the gym. Another one of Akane punting Ranma
through the school roof. And another of Ranma "molesting" Ms. Hinako. And on
and on and on, each photo somehow or another involving Ranma in the
destruction.
Noriko put down the stack of photos. *So, Ranma, you're the cause of
all this chaos at Furinkan, eh? And you're the reason my paper might not
survive until the next year.* She clenched her fist. *Ranma, you'll pay for
all that you've done to this school!*
[Akiko]
Heaven hath no fury like an editor ticked off...
[Mika]
I thought the line was "like a woman scorned."?
[Akiko]
You've never been on a school paper before, have you?
End part one
[Natsumi]
That's all???
That's it for now!
[Natsumi]
Oh. Okay!
Whether or not you respond to this will give me the
incentive to continue this story. *Please* write and give some C&C.
Anything, I don't care, whether it be spelling, grammar, style, characters,
names, etc. Heck, even a simple "This Fic Sucks" would be better than
nothing at all. You can respond either by private e-mail or post to the ML;
I'm not picky. My address is raphael@asu.edu. Thanks in advance!
[The lights come up on the three girls and the robopet.]
[Akiko]
Hmmmm...knowing this mailing list, he may be waiting a while yet...
[Mika]
Actually, some people already gave some C & C for this fic, so we're
not the first.
[Penko]
So, what did you all think?
[Mika]
I liked it. Some confusing portions and inconsitancies, but it's
pretty interesting. I'm not sure I like the infusion of martial
arts here, but overall, it's a good fic in need of some fixing.
[Akiko]
Like paragraph separation. I'm especially looking forward to this
fic since I have been involved with journalism in high school, though.
[Natsumi]
What was this fic all about again??
[Mika]
Grrrr....get her away from me before I give her a taste of my Magic
Soul Blade...
[Akiko]
You mean the one you can't control?
[Mika]
Go ahead...rub it in...
[Penko suddenly straightens up, as if listening to something. A few
seconds later, she relaxes and addresses the three girls.]
[Penko]
Oh, I just got word from the boss that next time we do this, you girls
have to show up in costume.
[Mika]
Whaaaaat???? No way!! Not until they redesign my costume!!!
[Akiko]
What's so wrong about our costumes? I don't see anything wrong with
them...
[Mika]
That's easy for you to say! You won't be on display as much as I will
be since my contract calls for it. After all, I'm supposed to be team
leader and all that.
[Natsumi]
I think our costumes are so cuuuute!!!!
[Mika, hands reaching out for Natsumi's neck]
Lemme at her!!!
[The lights dim and so ends the first installment of Magical Girl
Fanfic Theater...]
---
Raphael See