How's this for a late response :)

On Sat, 10 Aug 1996, Richard Lawson wrote:

That's what made it frustrating for me.  I could only think of one
reason for the switch, and that reason didn't satisfy me.  I read the
whole story waiting for it to be explained to me, and it never was.  It
left me feeling unsatisfied, which is why I didn't like this 'fic as
much as everyone else evidently does.

(Part 1)

(The scene:  Ukyou's Okonomiyaki shop.  It is the end of the day.  The calendar reads October 6, 1994.  The last customer leaves.  Ukyou looks exhausted.  She collapses at one of the tables.)

Ukyou:  Ugh.  I had to work through my birthday.  I needed the money too much.  At least I'll be able to make the rent payment now.  

(She sits and stares at the wall for a moment.)  

Ukyou:  And no one came to see me.  Not even...(Starts to cry.  Then there is a knock at the door.)  Ranma?

(She runs over to the door, flings it open, and sees...someone she doesn't even know.)

Ukyou:  I'm sorry, we're clo...

(The person interrupts her.  It is a black-haired woman wearing a simple white kimono.  She looks to be somewhere in her thirties to forties.  She has a big box in her hands.  About a foot by a foot by 9 inches.  A six pack of coke is perched on top of it
.)

Woman:  I'm not here for food.  I have a birthday present for you.

Ukyou:  But I don't even know you!

Woman:  No one should be alone on their birthday.  

Ukyou:  You're  not Tsubasa in disguise are you?

Woman:  Certainly not.

Ukyou:  Should I know who you are?

Woman:  Not after all these years.. But my identity is not important tonight...Think of me as your guardian angel

Ukyou:  Uh...okay.  What's in the box?

Woman:  (takes box over to table, puts cokes to one side).  A present.  (She opens the box.  It holds a cake with lemon frosting and 17 candles.  All are red, except a blue one in the middle).  That's a magic candle.  When you blow it out, if all the othe
rs go out, you get one wish.  Any wish.

Ukyou:  And what do you get out of this?

Woman:  Absolutely nothing.

Ukyou:  Then why are you doing this?

Woman:  You sound like Nabiki...This is my gift to you on your birthday.  You only get one wish.  Just remember that everything has consequences.  And what you want may entail things you don't.. (lights the Candles)

Ukyou:  I'm probably going to regret this, but...

Woman:  Just remember to keep the wish firmly in mind as you blow out the candles

Ukyou:  okay.  (Thinks as she blows them all out...)  I wish that ...
***********************
(Opening Credits:

A RANMA 1/2 ELSEWORLDS STORY--"FOR WANT OF A NAIL..."
By John Walter Biles
based on the fictional creations of Takahashi Rumiko
Ranma Elseworlds OAV #1

(The scene is now the streets of Nerima.  We see a familiar glasses-wearing panda running through the streets of the city.  It is chasing Ranma, who is wearing his red satin outfit (with the wooden bars that close it in the front).  He is in female form. 
 People are staring at them as they are being followed by a not-quite so familiar figure.  It is a brown haired japanese male teen wearing a white bandana over his remarkably long (for a japanese male) hair.  He is wearing a brown gi.  He seems to be chas
ing the panda, and looks a bit angry.  Maybe it's because he's trying to pull a yatai(A kind of small cart with an angled lid/roof) and chase a panda at the same time.  He seems familiar, but we can't quite recognize him...)

Panda:  Growrl!

Ranma-chan:  Stuff it old man!  I'm going back to China!  I don't have time to meet one of your old friends.

Bandana-guy:  Ranma!  I don't like this anymore than you, but it won't hurt if we stop here for a day or two.  I don't think a second dip would help either of us...And if you two don't stop running, I'm going to collapse from exhaustion.

Panda :  (holds up a sign.  Ranma can't read it, but we and the bandana-guy can). 
[We're almost there.  Look for the sign that says...]  (Panda ran out of space on his sign.)  

(Ranma-chan goes running right into the backyard of the Tendo Dojo.  She charges up to the back porch and right into the house...running past Akane, who was breaking bricks in the back yard.  She sees the panda and drops into a fighting stance.)

Akane:  Father!  There's a crazed panda chasing that poor girl who just ran in!

(The panda tries to rush by her, and she punts it back, narrowly missing the bandana-guy and the yatai.  It growls, rushes forward, and Akane slugs it back again.  The Bandana-guy grabs a giant spatula out of the Yatai and moves into a fighting stance bet
ween the panda and Akane.)

Bandana-guy:  I don't know who you are, but I can't let you batter Saotome-san like that.

Akane:  (blinks)  That's Saotome-san?  Then you must be Ranma.  Are you and your father that formal?

Bandana-guy:  He...

(The bandana-guy and Akane can hear:  )

Soun:  Ranma!  I'm so happy to finally meet you!  Where is your father?

Ranma-chan:  Uh, he's outside...

Soun:  You'll make a good husband for one of my daughters!

Ranma-chan:  Husband for one of your daughters?

Nabiki:  I don't think "he" will be making anyone a good husband.

Ranma-chan:  Hey, don't poke me there.

Soun:  You're a...

Nabiki:  How long has it been since the last time you saw Ranma, dad?

Soun:  I've never seen him, uh her before...

(Outside:)  

Akane:  I've got to stop them from picking on her.

Bandana-guy:  Wait!  You don't know...(Akane has gone in.)

Panda:  (sign) [come on]

(Inside:  Nabiki keeps poking Ranma in the breast, Soun is wailing, and Kasumi looks a little surprised.  Akane grabs Nabiki and drags her away from Ranma.)

Akane:  Stop harassing her.  So you don't have another boy to drool over.  Come on, Ranma.  Let's get you out of here until Dad and Nabiki calm down.

(She drags Ranma off just before the bandana-guy and the Panda enter.)
**************************
(In the Dojo)

Akane:  Want to spar for a while?  Dad said your father trained you in Kenpo.

Ranma-chan:  (gets up to spar)  Yes.  Me and Ucchan.

Akane:  (takes a swing, Ranma dodges)  Is Ucchan that guy out there?

Ranma-chan:  Yes.  (dodges a second blow)

Akane:  I bet Nabiki hits on him.(swing three, dodge 3)

Ranma-chan:  Er...that wouldn't be a good idea...(swing 4, dodge 4)

Akane:  Why?  (Swing 5, dodge 5)

Ranma-chan:  It's hard to explain...(They settle into a steady rythym of Ranma dodging and Akane trying everything to hit him.  No luck)  

Akane:  Stop dodging me and fight!  

(Finally, Ranma-chan vaults over Akane and taps her from behind.  They stare for a moment, then Akane laughs.)

Akane:  You're good...It's a good thing you weren't a boy after all....

Ranma-chan:  Why?

Akane:  I'd really hate to lose to a boy.

Ranma-chan:...
*******************
(Cut to a little later in the house)

(Ranma-chan and Akane enter the house.  A wet Genma and dry Soun are talking on the porch.  Meanwhile, in the living/dining room, Nabiki and Kasumi are talking with Bandana-guy.  They all turn when Ranma-chan and Akane enter)

Kasumi:  Did you two have a nice practice?

Akane:  She's really good.  (punches Ranma-chan lightly on the arm).  I guess her father really did a good job training her.  

Ranma-chan:  I guess that's one thing Pop did right.

Nabiki:So where is your father?

Bandana-guy:  (points at Genma)  He's right there.

Kasumi:  So why was he wearing a panda suit when you two showed up?

Ranma-chan:  Uh...

Bandana-guy:  It's not exactly a suit.

Akane:  Eh?  what?

Nabiki:  So if that's Ranma (points) and that's his father (points), who are you?  (points at Bandana-guy)

Bandana-guy:  I'm Kuonji Ukyou, Ranma's fiancee.

Kasumi:  This is getting more confusing...

Nabiki:  Why do you have a girl's name?

Akane:  Why didn't dad mention you?

Kasumi:  He said one of us was going to marry Ranma, but Ranma is a girl and ...

Nabiki:  Even your mom said that you were a boy.  That was really strange.

Ranma-chan:  Mom is here?

Akane:  She's gone for the day, but she'll be back later today.

Ranma-chan:  I haven't seen her in ten years...

Nabiki:  (to Ukyou-kun)  So how long exactly have you two been engaged?

Ukyou-kun:  About ten years.

(Everyone is stunned except Ranma-chan, who already knew the answer to that one.)

(Then Genma and Soun stand, having finished their talk on the porch, and enter.  They take up a dramatic stance to announce:)

Soun:  Many years ago, shortly after we both married, we decided to engage two of our children to unite our family lines.

Genma:  This decision was made shortly after the birth of my one and only child, Ranma.

Soun:  We have thus decided to engage my second daughter Nabiki to Ranma.  She has good business sense and...

Nabiki:  Dad!  You can't do that 

Ranma-chan:  Pop!  You can't do that!

Simultaneously:

Ranma-chan:  I'm already engaged!    Nabiki:  I can't marry a girl!

Ranma-chan:  I'm not a...            Soun: Engaged?  (turns)  Genma!


Akane:  This is really confusing.

Ukyou-kun:  It gets worse.

Genma:  Let me explain.

Soun and Nabiki:  This had better be good!

Genma:  Please bring us some hot water, Kasumi.

Kasumi:  Yes, Saotome-san.  (heads for kitchen)

Akane:  (Whisper to Ranma)  Have our fathers both gone over the edge?  Why would they engage you to Nabiki?  You're a girl and already engaged.

Ranma(Whisper back)  It's hard to explain...

(Kasumi returns.  Hands a tea pot to Genma.)

Genma:  Ranma, come over here.  You too, Ukyou.

(Ranma-chan winces and comes over. So does Ukyou-kun.  They both flinch and scream as the hot water hits.  Instinctively, they strike out at Genma who goes flying off into the back yard.  As the water pours over them, they transform.  Ukyou and Ranma's ha
ir both turn black.  Ukyou becomes a woman and Ranma a man.  They both shudder.  Everyone else just stares.)

Kasumi:  Is your father a practicing stage magician?

(Nabiki comes forward.  Pokes Ranma in the breast.  Nothing there.)

Nabiki:  I..you...(pokes Ukyou)

Ukyou:  Hey!  Stop that!  (almost slaps Nabiki)

Nabiki:  How did you two do that?  What is going...

(Genma-panda surfaces in the pond.  Everyone stares.)

Ranma: I told you this would be hard to explain...

(He hefts the tea pot and pours the rest on his charging father.  Bink.  Instant Genma.  His clothing is now rather thoroughly shredded.)

Ranma:  My father the genius took us to some cursed pools for training...and you can see what happened to us.

Kasumi:  Water both does and undoes the curse?

Nabiki:  Hot water to reverse it and cold water to trigger?

Genma:  You are right.  I see you are as smart as your father says you are.

Nabiki:  Uh, thanks.  (Seems a little surprised to be complimented)

Genma:  You will make Ranma a good wife.  He is a little head strong...

Nabiki:  He's already engaged!  And I refuse to be involved in polygamy!  And I want to choose my husband!

Ukyou:  How can you try to engage Ranma to someone when he's already engaged to me?

Genma:  I...uh...well....

Ranma:  You never mentioned this before.  I've been engaged to Ukyou since we were six.  You hardly ever mentioned the Tendos, except in stories about your training...

Soun:  What exactly is going on here?

Genma:  Well, it all started when Ranma and I were at the beginning of his training....
*******************
(Flashback time.  We cut to a town where we see a younger Genma wearing a red and yellow hat (the one from the flashback in episode 7(or maybe 8) and a 6 year old Ranma--We'll call him Ranma-SB for Small Body Ranma)

Genma-narrator:  We met Ukyou and her father.  He ran an Okonomiyaki shop from his yatai.

(We see Genma sending Ranma-SB to steal Okonomiyaki from the Yatai.  Ranma-SB and Ukyou-SB fight.  Ranma wins and runs off with the Okonomiyaki)

Genma-narrator:  They grew to be fast friends. 

(We see Ukyou-SB and Ranma-SB fight again and again as Ranma-SB steals Okonomiyaki for his dad.  Usually he wins, occasionally she does.  They become good friends in the meantime.)

Genma-narrator:  Finally, one day, Ukyou's father approached me about marrying Ukyou to Ranma.

(Ukyou's dad catches Ranma one day, and Genma has to go without Okonomiyaki.  Pretty soon, this happens everyday and Genma is dang hungry.  We see him haggling with Ukyou's dad.)

Ukyou's Father:  No money, no food.

Genma:  I'll do anything!  I haven't eaten in days...

Ukyou's Father:  Well, I have seen our children playing together...

Genma:  They really get along well...

(We see Ukyou-SB making an okonomiyaki for Ranma-SB.  He is eager with anticipation.  They are both laughing at something)

Ukyou's Father:  So if you will agree to their engagement, I'll keep you fed.

Genma:  Well, I had already made arrangements to engage Ranma...

Ukyou's Father:  I'll throw in the yatai as a dowry.  I've saved up enough to open a shop now.

Genma:  I...well...(Torn with indecision, he turns to Ranma-SB.)  Ranma?

(Ranma-SB looks up)  

Ranma:  What?

Genma:  Would you rather have Ukyou or okonomiyaki?

(Ranma-SB stares at his dad, looks at Ukyou)

Ranma-SB:  Don't understand.

Genma:  Do you like Ukyou or okonomiyaki better?

Ranma-SB:  I like Ukyou better.

(Genma looks even more confused and guilty.  Then he straightens up and puts up a good front.)

Genma:  It's a deal, then.  (Shakes hands with Ukyou's dad).

(End Flashback.  Everyone is staring at Genma)
******************
Soun:  You engaged your son to someone for food?

Ukyou:  That's not the story you told us!

Nabiki:  What would you have done if Ranma had chosen okonomiyaki over Ukyou?

Genma:  Er...well...

Ukyou:  Well, father-in-law?

Genma:  (shrinks a bit)  Um...probably said yes, then run out on it with the yatai and Ranma, leaving Ukyou with her dad...

Kasumi:  That wouldn't have been very nice.

Ukyou:  I'd have been crushed...

Ranma:  But it didn't happen.  But I can't be engaged to two women at once, Pop!

Genma:  Honor demands I keep my previous promise to Soun.  You will be henceforth engaged to Nabiki.

Ukyou:  What about me!

Genma:  Um...well...I...It was a valid engagement.  I can't just break it, and after raising you all these years, I don't want to just throw you out...So Ranma will have to be engaged to both of you until we figure out which is more valid...

Soun:  What does Nodoka think about all this?

Genma:  She doesn't know.

Soun:  About....?

Genma:  Any of it.  The engagements, the promise I made you, the curses....

Soun:  Well, she'll be home in two hours and...

Genma:  She's living here?

Soun:  She came about a month ago when we found out you were coming back from China.  She wants to see Ranma.

Genma:  Ranma, Ukyou, get the yatai!  We've got to flee before your mother gets here!  (Turns to run, Soun grabs him.  He runs in place)

Kasumi:  Are you afraid of your wife, Mr. Saotome?

Genma:  She...I...the curse...I want to live!

Ukyou:  Why are you afraid she'll kill you?

Genma:  Not just me, Ranma too.  Before I left to train Ranma I had to promise that we would commit seppuku if I didn't raise Ranma to be a manly man...and I don't think him turning into a girl counts as manly...

Nabiki:  That was completely stupid.

Genma:  Otherwise she wouldn't let us out of the house.

Kasumi:  She seems really nice.  I don't think that...

Genma:  You don't know her like I do!  She'll make us keep the promise!  I'm going to die!  You have to let me flee before it's too late!

Ukyou:  Do you remember this promise, Ranma?

Ranma:  Not really.  I was only five.

Ukyou:  I have an idea!

Genma:  What?

Ukyou:  Has your wife seen Ranma since he was five?

Genma:  Not even a picture.  I have no camera.

Ukyou:  Then I have a plan to keep you and Ranma alive.  

Nabiki:  Will we make a profit out of it?

(Everyone stares at her)

Nabiki:  If I'm going to be forced into an engagement and someone's "clever plan"  I expect some kind of compensation.

Soun:  I don't lock you in your room until you reach the age of majority.

Nabiki:  I can handle that...

(Scene cuts to dinner.  Nodoka(Ranma's Mom) is in the kitchen with Kasumi.  They are about to take out dinner to the dining room)

Nodoka:  So what is the surprise you mentioned earlier?

Kasumi:  We have guests for dinner.

Nodoka:  Is it that nice Dr. Tofu?  He is such a dear, even though he gets rather erratic sometimes.

Kasumi:  He is a dear.  I've learned a lot from the books of his I've borrowed. It's not him waiting for you. Come on.  (They bring out the food.  One corner of the room has a big lumpy mass with a sheet over it.  Nabiki(a bit grumpy), Akane (trying not t
o laugh), and Soun (fairly mellow) are here by the table waiting for their food.  Akane is standing by the mass.)

Nodoka:  What is that?

Akane:  (giggle) Our guests!  (pulls off the sheet.  We see Genma in the middle, with Ranma-chan to his left and Ukyou-kun to his right.  Ukyou-kun has his hair tied back in a pony-tail like Ranma's, but is wearing the white bandana he/she was wearing ear
lier).  

Nodoka:  My husband!  My son!  And (looks at Ranma-chan)  who are you?

(Genma comes forward and hugs her.  She has tears of joy)

Nodoka:  So long have I waited...

Genma:  We are together again.  I have made a man of our son.  Come here, Ranma.

(Ukyou-kun comes over.)

Ukyou-kun:  Hello, mother.  (hugs her)

Nodoka:  I would never have recognized you!

Ukyou-kun:  I wouldn't have recognized you either...

Nodoka:  (to Ranma-chan)  And who are you, dear?

Ranma-chan:  (forcing herself to keep a straight face).  I'm Kuonji Ukyou, one of Ranma's fiancees.

Nabiki:  (thought)  I have to learn how he can tell such a blatant lie with a straight face to his own mother.

Nodoka:  One of his fiancees?

Ranma-chan:  I think po...Mr. Saotome can explain it better than I can.

Ukyou-kun:  Yes, father, you explain.

(Genma is turning red.)

Genma:  Well, it all started with...

(We cut forward to the end of dinner.  Nabiki, Akane, Ukyou-kun, and Ranma-chan are washing dishes in the kitchen.)

Nabiki:  I can't believe she bought that.

Akane:  So how are you two going to be able to take a bath without...

Ranma-chan:  Cold showers forever...aargh.

Ukyou-kun:  At least until Saotome-san finds out if the curse means off with his head.

Akane:  So where are you two going to sleep?

(Kasumi enters)

Kasumi:  Since Mr. and Mrs. Saotome will be in the guest room, Ukyou will have to sleep on a spare cot in Father's room while Ranma sleeps in Akane's room.

Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou:  What?

Kasumi:  You're the youngest, so you have to double up with the female guest...

Ranma :  I'm not female!

Akane:  I don't want to sleep with a boy!

Kasumi:  But Nodoka thinks you are, and this is part of the plan.  

Ukyou:  Well, I'm used to sleeping with men.  I hope he doesn't snore.  I'd rather sleep with Ranma, though...

(Akane, Kasumi, and Nabiki stare at them)

Ukyou:  Well, I've been sleeping with him and his father since I was six...and I'm his fiancee.

Nabiki:  So am I and he isn't sleeping in my bedroom!

Kasumi:  That wouldn't be proper for either of you to sleep with her...

Ranma:  Him!  Him!  I'm a...

Kasumi:  Not until this is straightened out.  Until then, you are Kuonji Ukyou.  Oh, you have school tomorrow.

Ranma and Ukyou:  School?

Kasumi: You two and Akane are in the same class.  She can help you get there.  Nabiki is a year ahead of you.  And there is a dress code.

Ranma:  I am not wearing a dress if it is the last thing I do!
**************************************
(Next Morning.  Ranma-chan, Akane, Nabiki, and Ukyou-kun are shipping out to school.  Ranma-chan is indeed in a school uniform dress just like Akane and Nabiki.  Ukyou-kun is wearing Ranma's red satin outfit.  Ranma-chan looks disgusted.)

(Nodoka leans out the door)

Nodoka:  Have fun at school!  You look lovely in that dress, Ukyou.

Ranma-chan:  Thanks.  (once out of sight range)  I'm going to go mad.  

Akane:  I think you do look good in a dress...

Ranma-chan:  Stop saying that!

Akane:  You have to catch me first, Ukyou!

Ranma:  I am not a girl! And I'm not Ukyou!

(Akane leaps up on a fence and runs.  Ranma-chan chases her.  They race off.)
(Nabiki and Ukyou-kun start running after them.  Soon Ukyou-kun lifts Nabiki so she won't fall behind.)

Nabiki:  This is going to be awful.

Ukyou-kun:  Don't worry.  Once we straighten it out, I'll marry Ranma and you'll be free.  We just have to make sure Mr. Saotome and Ranma don't have to commit suicide.

Nabiki:  And how long will that take?

Ukyou-kun:  Good question.

(Soon they reach the school.  Ranma-chan chases Akane in and they both stop.  A veritable legion of school boys, from average looking guys to hockey players, fencers, and golfers are waiting there.  Akane gets cranky suddenly.)

Akane:  (quietly)  Not again.

(The mob charges Akane.  Ranma-chan stares mindlessly for a moment.  Ukyou-kun, carrying Nabiki, now runs up.  )

The horde:  Tendo Akane, I love you...If you let me win, we can be together...Forgive me, Akane...You are so beautiful.

(Akane begins clobbering them.  Most take only a single blow.  Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun jump into the fight.  Nabiki watches.  The horde is now triply doomed.  Ranma-chan isn't used to fighting in a dress, but she does well anyway.  The guys are quite sur
prised by Ukyou-kun fighting them.)

Akane:  Back off!  I can handle them!  

Ranma-chan:  Who are these kooks?

(Soon, the horde of guys has been demolished by the trio.)

Guys:  (to Ukyou-kun)  No fair!  Who are you?

Ukyou-kun:  I'm Kuo...Saotome Ranma.

(Ranma winces)

Ranma-chan:  And I'm Sao...Kuonji Ukyou.  

Guys:  Well, Kuosaotome...

Ukyou-kun:  Just Saotome

Guy:  Well, Saotome, Upperclassman Kunou announced that no one would be allowed to date Akane until they defeated her in battle.

Akane:  Kunou is such an idiot.

Ranma-chan:  That's insane!  Does he do that with all the women?

Guy:  Just Akane.  (looks Ranma-chan up and down)  But you could go out with me...(Ranma-chan slams him into the ground.)

Ranma-chan:  Dream on.  I'm already engaged.

Akane:  Come on.  We're going to be late.

(They barely make it to class.  After school--Ranma-chan is sitting on a stump, waiting for someone in the school yard.)

Ranma-chan:  If I have to wait one more minute for those three, I'm going to explode.

(Kunou comes around the corner.  He approaches Ranma-chan, then stops and stares at her.  His eyes widen.)

Kunou:  Such loveliness I have never before beheld.  A vision of beauty before my eyes.  I must speak with her.  (walks over).

Kunou:  Oh enchanting one, have you seen a boy named Saotome Ranma?

Ranma-chan:  You're speaking with h..his fiancee.

Kunou:  What!  Such a cad as him has a fiancee as lovely as you?

Ranma-chan:  He's not a cad!

Kunou:  He has interfered in the test of love that I set for those who would court my Akane...a test I knew none would pass.

Ranma-chan:  Your Akane?  

Kunou:  I shall defeat this cad and rescue you from the onerous duty of being his fiancee!  This I, Kunou Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder, do swear.!  (Lightning crackles)

Ranma-chan:  Rescue...what?

Kunou:  Come away with me, my sweet!  (tries to take Ranma-chan's hand.  Then Ranma is about to slap him when Akane, Nabiki, and Ukyou-kun come out.)

Ukyou-kun:  What are you doing?

Kunou:  Saotome Ranma, I presume?

Ukyou-kun:  What?  He's...yes, I am.  (catches himself in time.)

Kunou:  Is this lovely woman your fiancee?

Ukyou-kun:  Yes.

Kunou:  Did you interfere in the fight this morning?

Ukyou-kun:  Yes.  Ra...Ukyou and I both did.  Are you that Kunou guy?

Kunou:  You will address me as Kunou-sempai!

Ukyou-kun:  Why?

Kunou:  Because I am your sempai!  And you have a lot to learn about respect.

Ukyou-kun:  (a little irritated)  Respect, huh?

Kunou:  Because you have enslaved this vision of loveliness (points at Ranma, who winces) and tried to thwart the test I set for those who seek to date my Akane...

Akane:  I am not YOUR Akane!

Kunou:  I must destroy you!  Prepare to defend yourself, Saotome!

Ranma-chan:  If you want a fight, fight me!  I'll show you...

Kunou:  I do not fight with women!

Ranma-chan:  I am not amdfkjasdf;a  ;adjf;asdkfj (Akane puts her hands over Ranma-chan's mouth.  She flails a bit as Akane drags her away from Kunou)

Akane:  She's very feisty.  (to Ukyou)  Kunou is very good at Kendo.  You'd better be careful...

Ranma-chan:  MADRweiafija  aorpqru2ruifkajk!  

(Kunou smiles)

Kunou:  I like my women to have spirit.

Ukyou-kun:  I thought Akane was your woman...

Akane:  Uk...Ranma!  I am not his woman!

Kunou:  (looks at Akane, who is struggling to keep Ranma-chan back from Kunou)  They are both so lovely.  How will I decide between them?

Ranma-chan:  (mouth gets free)  You can't have me, you pretentious samurai-wanna-be!  I'm really a (Akane clamps down again) ad.mfkd  aidjfwj aodjfoj!

Kunou:  I know!  I shall date both of you!  (This is the last straw.  Ranma-chan breaks loose and jumps at Kunou, kicking him in the chest.  He falls back, but his arms come up, flipping Ranma-chan off him and behind him into Ukyou-kun, who falls down.  K
unou, Ranma-chan, and Ukyou-kun all bonk their heads and pass out.  Ranma-chan does manage one final comment...)

Ranma-chan:  I showed him..who's the real man...

Nabiki:  I'm going to kill father for engaging me to this idiot.

Akane:  At least you'll have a brave husband, even if he isn't too smart.  Kunou could have really hurt him.

Nabiki:  (sighs)

(The two of them start dragging off Ukyou-kun and Ranma-chan.)  

(Scene cut to Dr. Tofu's office.  Nabiki and Akane are talking with Dr. Tofu while the bonked out Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun are lying on a pair of tables.)

Dr. Tofu:  What exactly happened?  (smiles)  Did you just win another fight, Akane?

Akane:  (blushes)  I...no...they ran into each other (She seems a bit distracted)

Dr. Tofu:  Head first?

Nabiki:  The two idiots had an argument with Kunou and ended up with all three of them banging their heads on the ground.

Dr. Tofu:  Hmm...Nurse, bring them some tea while I work on their friends.

(Panda comes in with a tray of tea--a pot of tea, and six glasses.)

Nabiki:  Mr. Saotome?

Dr. Tofu:  I see you've met my new assistant.  He...

Akane:  That's his son.(points at Ranma-chan, Nabiki grabs the arm and points it at Ukyou-kun)

Dr. Tofu:  You didn't get hit in the head too, Akane, did you?

Akane:  No, Dr. Tofu, I'm okay.  Thanks for your concern.  (smiles a little)

Nabiki:  (gets some tea)  I think...

(We hear in the waiting room)

Voice:  It's her!

Voice 2:  And I waited so long for this appointment...(feet run out)

(Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun are slowly waking when Kasumi walks in with a book.  Akane gets a miserable look, and Nabiki winces)

Kasumi:  I brought back the book I borrowed from you, Dr. Tofu, and I brought you some cookies...(Has a basket of cookies in one hand)

Dr. Tofu(glasses fog up)  Imagine meeting you here Kasumi.  I was just watering the plants...(Takes teapot, proceeds to water Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun, who transform in the hot water, and scream)

Ranma & Ukyou:  AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Kasumi: Those weren't...

Dr. Tofu:  (takes the basket of cookies, puts cookies on the tea tray, tries to wear basket as a hat)  Such a nice hat you brought me.  I like these woven style of hats.

Kasumi:  (giggles a little)  You're so funny, Dr. Tofu.

Dr. Tofu:  Look!  Cookies!  Where did those come from?  Would you like one, Kasumi?  

Kasumi:  (takes one)  They're for you.

(Akane and Nabiki drag the still in pain Ranma and Ukyou out into the waiting room.  As they leave, we hear...)

Dr. Tofu:  Why so they are!  Would you like a cookie, Betty?  (tries to feed Betty the skeleton a cookie)

(In the waiting room--now empty except for two Tendos, a Saotome, and a Kuonji...)

Ranma:  That was HOT!

Ukyou:  At least that weirdo didn't notice what happened when he poured the hot water on us.

Akane:  Dr. Tofu is not a weirdo!  He is a great doctor!  (a bit agitated)

Nabiki:  Calm down, Akane.  You know he freaks out whenever Kasumi is around.

Akane:  Yes...(sadly)

Ranma:  Why does he whack out like that?  He was talking to a skeleton and putting baskets on his head!

Akane:  I don't know...(looks evasive)

Nabiki:  I think he's in love with Kasumi.

(Akane winces at that.  Ranma and Ukyou stare at her for a moment in confusion.)

Akane:  What?  What?

Ranma:  Nothing.  I guess we'll just....AAAAHHHH!!!

Ukyou:  What?  What's wrong, Ranchan?

Ranma:  I can't go home in this!

Akane:  Wh...(realizes why)

Ranma:  I'm a boy and men don't wear dresses!  And this dress is so bland anyway.

Akane:  We're very proud that we have such nice school uniforms...(a bit miffed)

Nabiki:  Don't be so defensive.  You know everyone hates them as much as Ranma does.  At least he has a little taste in clothing, I guess.  

Ranma:  We've got to find me some guy clothing!

Nabiki:  Why don't you and Ukyou just switch until we get back to the house?

Ranma:  Good idea!  We wear each other's clothing all the time anyway...

(They duck down a side hall to two adjacent rooms, then each enters one of the rooms.  Clothing flies out, Nabiki and Akane switch the two piles, and arms reach out and pull it in.  Then Ranma and Ukyou come out.  Ukyou is a little tall for the school uni
form, which doesn't quite fit her.)

Ukyou:  So how long has Dr. Tofu been in love with Kasumi?

Nabiki:  At least a year now.  (Akane winces again).  I'm not sure exactly when it started.  We've been coming to him for years...

Akane:  I'll see you guys later....I have stuff to do...(runs off, stifling tears)

Nabiki:  (sighs)

Ranma:  What's with her?

Nabiki:  You just don't notice things, do you, my "fiancee".
***********************
(Scene cuts to Ranma, Ukyou, and Nabiki almost home.  They walk up to house, when Nodoka opens the front door.  Ranma and Ukyou freeze up in paralysis.  Nabiki blinks once and says, )

Nabiki:  Hello, Mrs. Saotome.  I'd like you to meet some friends of mine from school.

Nodoka:  How nice.  I'm Saotome Nodoka.  And you are?

Ranma:  (total mindblank.  He is paralyzed)  I'm...I'm...

Nabiki:  This is Yamada Shinobu(points to Ranma) and this is Shiratori Moemi (points to Ukyou).

Ukyou:  Nice to meet you.

Ranma:  N...Nice..to eat...meet, meet you.

Ukyou:  (takes Ranma by the arm)  He's kind of shy.  But he's very nice.

Nodoka:  Will you be staying for dinner?

Ranma:  Dinner?  

Nabiki:  (looks over at a still trembling Ranma)  Food.  Final meal.  What you eat just before Armageddon?

Nodoka:  Don't be sarcastic to the poor boy.  You don't need to be afraid.  I don't bite. (smiles)  You're a very handsome young man.  Your mother must be proud of having a son like you.

(Ranma winces)  

Nodoka:  You're welcome to stay for dinner.

Nabiki:  We just stopped by to get some clean clothing for Ranma and Ukyou.  They fell in the river and dirtied their clothing, and stopped at the baths to get clean...

Nodoka:  That's very good of you, Nabiki, bringing clean clothing to your fiancee.

(Nabiki, Ranma, and Ukyou all grimace just a little).  

Nodoka:  I just finished doing the wash.  Everyone has clean laundry in their rooms.

(Nabiki and Ukyou help Ranma out of the room.  Once out of Nodoka's sight he calms down.)

Ranma:  Why didn't I think about her being here?

Nabiki:  You can't hide from your mom forever.

Ranma:  I...Thanks for helping us, Nabiki.

Nabiki:  Well, if I'm stuck with you, I have to make the best of it.  Just remember that you owe me...

********************
(End Part 1)




(Start Part 2)

(We see Akane writing in her diary.  The voice over is what she is writing)

Akane Voiceover (Diary Entry):  The last several weeks have been quite strange. Ranma and I have more or less adapted to living in the same room.

(We see that there is now a bunk bed in Akane's room.  Ranma-chan is sleeping on top. There is a wall calendar near the bed which has the month September on it. )

It certainly makes going to the bathroom complicated, though.

 Ranma has been driving Nabiki up the wall...especially with her having to pretend that Ukyou is Ranma most of the time.

(We see Ranma almost absentmindedly stealing Nabiki's food off her plate at dinner, Nabiki and Ukyou trying to take Ranma-chan shopping for women's clothes, Kunou ranting at Nabiki who looks rather annoyed, followed by Ukyou-kun clobbering Kunou, Nabiki b
eing forced to pose romantically with Ukyou-kun for a photo,  etc.)

Akane voiceover:  Dad and Mr. Saotome trying to force them together didn't help...especially their first "date"...

*****************

(We see in the Dojo, Ranma-chan and Nabiki are sitting with Mr. Tendo and Genma.  Ukyou-kun and Akane are sparring in the background, but Ukyou-kun is getting the worst of it, even armed with a giant spatula.  The reason for this is that Ukyou-kun keeps w
atching the conversation instead of the battle...)

Nabiki:  You want us to do what?

Soun:  Go out on a date.  You are engaged after all.

Ranma-chan:  And how do we get this one past Mom?

Genma:  Ukyou can escort Nabiki out of my wife's sight, then you take over for the rest of the evening, and then Ukyou escorts her back in.

Ranma-chan:  And what is Ukyou supposed to do for the rest of the evening?  She can't even come back here and wait, or Mom will definitely clue in to this whole thing...

Soun:  We...Uh...

Genma:  Good question.

Akane:  I'll show her a night on the town.  We can have a girl's night out.

Soun:  Very good, daughter.

Nabiki:  A night with a barbarian...

Ranma-chan:  I am not a barbarian!

Nabiki:  All you do is eat and fight and get us all in trouble!

Ranma-chan:  Hah!  I'll show you the best night you've ever had.

Nabiki:  And if you can't?

Ranma-chan:  I'll, I'll...I'll do whatever you want for a week!  And if it is the best night you ever had...

Nabiki:  I'll be your loyal obedient fiancee for a week.

Ranma-chan:  Deal!

Nabiki:  Deal!  (they shake hands)

(Nodoka enters.)

Nodoka:  It's nice to see you two get along so well.  I've been so worried that you two would hate each other being engaged to the same boy...We really have to resolve that somehow.

(Akane starts to giggle, but tries to stifle it).

Akane:  (To Ukyou-kun)  You're so lucky having two lovely fiancees who...get...along so well...He He He.  (finally collapses into laughter)  Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ukyou-kun:  I'm so blessed.  (sardonic grimace)

***************
(We see Genma and Nodoka in the kitchen.  Nodoka is cooking, while Genma is trying to steal food.)

Nodoka:  I am happy that Ranma is going out on a date with Nabiki tonight.

Genma:  (Munching on an apple)  Do you think Nabiki is the better fiancee for him?

Nodoka:  He and Nabiki seem so uncomfortable around each other.  I don't understand why.  I understand that Ranma is more used to Ukyou, but there is something wrong between Ranma and Nabiki.  They get along well, but...  At least, Nabiki and Ukyou get al
ong well.  If they fought all the time, it would make things very hard for Ranma.

Genma:  (pales just a bit)  Uh, yes.  And I'm glad that I've raised Ranma to your...satisfaction.

Nodoka:  (a bit absently)  Yes, I would have hated to have had to...keep you to your promise.  But our honor has been satisfied.  
  
Genma:  I...I've been wondering...I...well...

Nodoka:  (turns and smiles)  Yes dear?

Genma:  What were your...uh...I mean...what...

Nodoka:  Is something wrong?

Genma:  Ranma...me...honor...I mean....Er, well....Never mind.

Nodoka:  What is it dear?  I can see something is on your mind.

Genma:  Er...(wimps out)  What exactly are you cooking tonight?

Nodoka:  I should have known.  You actually had me convinced for a moment you were actually worried about something.  (shakes her head and smiles)  You'll find out when it's ready.  It's a surprise.

Genma:  (thought)  How am I going to wiggle out of her whether or not Ranma's curse is sufficient cause for me to have to run for the hills or not without risking having to run for the hills?  I don't want to die.
*******************

(We see Nabiki getting dressed up.  Kasumi is helping her.  She looks spectacular.  A long red gown, formal white gloves, and nice gold yen earrings are the major components of her fashion ensemble.  Kasumi is trying to do something with Nabiki's hair, bu
t there isn't much hair there to do anything with.)

Nabiki:  Hah.  Let's see Ranma match this flash.  

Kasumi:  You'll look really beautiful on your date.

Nabiki:  I just want to make him look tiny in comparison.  I'll enjoy having a slave for a week.

Kasumi:  That's not a good attitude.

Nabiki:  I can't lose.  I'm the only one who knows how good an evening I've had before.

Kasumi:  That doesn't bode well for your engagement.

Nabiki:  I didn't ask for this!  I'm engaged to a useless barbarian!  And he already has a fiancee!  His only redeeming feature is that at least he's cute, but I could say that about Kunou, and you know what he's like.

Kasumi:  We have to accept what we cannot change.

Nabiki:  This is the nineties!  People don't arrange marriages!  This is driving me batty!

*************
(We see Ukyou-kun getting dressed up.  His dad and Mr. Tendo are helping him.)

Ukyou-kun:  This is a waste of time.  Ranma will be wearing this, not me, five minutes after we leave.  

Mr. Tendo:  Thank you for being so cooperative in this.

Ukyou-kun:  If this wasn't the only way to keep Ranma out of trouble (glares at Genma), I'd refuse to go along with this...Helping him go out with another woman...who he doesn't even like.

Mr. Tendo:  Like is not a prerequisite for marriage.  Family honor comes first.

Ukyou-kun:  Neither my family nor my honor is at stake here!  If Ranma decided to leave, I'd be gone with him like a flash!  I won't be discarded.  One way or another, I will marry Ranma.  (Soun and Genma look a bit angry).  But for now, I'll play this li
ttle game...until I figure out how to tip over the board.

(They are all grumpy now.)
***************

(Ukyou-kun and Nabiki come down to the living room at the same time.  They are both exquisitely dressed.  Ukyou-kun is wearing a tux.  As usual now, his hair is tied back in imitation of Ranma's ponytail.  He looks grumpy.  Nodoka comes over to Ukyou-kun)


Nodoka:  Take good care of Nabiki tonight.  

Ukyou-kun:  Yeah, mom.

Nodoka:  Are you okay?

Ukyou-kun:  (feeble smile) Just great

Nodoka:  Don't stay out too late.

Nabiki:  No danger of that.  

(They leave, head down the street, and turn and go to the house of one of Akane's friends.  Ranma-chan and Akane meet them there.  Ranma and Ukyou change clothing and sexes.  Ranma leaves with Nabiki, Akane leaves with Ukyou.  We follow Akane and Ukyou fo
r now as they head to a fast-food Joint--KFC.)

(As they pass the Colonel Sanders statue in front of the store, they are talking)

Ukyou:  I hope Ranchan and Nabiki don't kill each other.

Akane:  Nabiki can handle him.  She has a knack for manipulating men... (realizes this is not the best approach to take)  I mean she understands how men think.  I mean...

Ukyou:  (wan smile)  So what do you think of Ranchan?

(They enter and head for the counter--talking to each other as they order food and wait for it)

Akane:  He's really strange.  A complete barbarian one minute, a nice guy the next.  I guess I get along better with him than Nabiki does because we're both martial artists and she isn't.  And I'm not romantically involved with him.

Ukyou:  Are you saying Nabiki is?

Akane:  I didn't mean...Well, I meant that we can be friends because there isn't this forced marriage hanging over us.  Nabiki can't just use him if she is going to be saddled with him for the rest of her life...Not that this whole thing isn't ridiculous.
  I would be soooo mad if Dad had forced me into engagement with Ranma...

Ukyou:  This business with his mom is really making him batty.  He used to have a much better temper.

(Akane and Ukyou order at this point, and are now waiting for their food)

(A black haired boy wanders into the store.  He is wearing a yellow and black bandana, and has a backpack and an umbrella.  It is Ryouga.  He looks around confusedly.)

Ryouga: This isn't Burger King.  (Before he can leave, he spots Ukyou.)

Ryouga:  Ukyou!

Ukyou:  (turns around)  Uh, Ryouga!

(Ryouga stares at Akane and Ukyou)

Ryouga:  (thought)  Who is that beautiful woman Ukyou is with?  I must meet her.

Ukyou:  Ryouga?  Hello?

(Ryouga comes over)

Ryouga:  Hi, Ukyou.  Where's Ranma?

Ukyou:  He...He...errrr....(growl)

Ryouga:  What's wrong, Ukyou?

Ukyou:  His father has forced him to be engaged to her (point at Akane) sister, and now he's out on a date with her!  (Angry)

Ryouga:  That cad!  I was already on my way to find him and trash him for what he has done to me!  Now I have twice the reason!  To jilt his fiancee, who grew up with him!  Don't worry Ukyou!  I will avenge you upon him, and my grievances too!  (turns to 
go)  Wait.  Where is he exactly, right now?

Ukyou:  I don't want you to hurt him...

Ryouga:  He'll get the thrashing he deserves!  But for you, Ukyou, I will spare his life.

Ukyou:  Oh.  This is Tendo Akane.  (points to Akane)

Akane:  Hi.

Ryouga:  L..lovely to meet you, lovely...I am Hibiki Ryouga!  I shall see you again after I get my revenge!

(Runs out the door)

Ukyou:  Revenge for what?

Akane:  Who was that?

Ukyou: Genma, Ranma and I settled down for a while.  Ranma and Ryouga had a running rivalry.  Ranma usually won.  But I think the reason he must be angry was that after we all fell in the pools, we were mad at Saotome-san and were chasing him.  Ryouga sho
wed up spouting about revenge, but Ranma and his dad ran over him without a second thought.  I managed to deflect his fall with a well thrown spatula so he landed in some hay at the cliff base instead of into one of the pools.  If I hadn't been there, he'
d have been cursed like me and Ranma...I wonder which pool he would have fallen in?

Akane:  We'll never know.  Tell me about your travels.  You must have had some wonderful adventures.

Ukyou:  Well living with Saotome-san and Ranma was never boring.

******************
(Meanwhile, Ranma and Nabiki are at an expensive restaurant.  Nabiki has gone to the powder room.  Ranma is checking his wallet.)

Ranma:  She would pick the most expensive restaurant in town.  If Dad and Mr. Tendo hadn't given me all this money...

(Nabiki returns)

Nabiki:  I'm impressed that you can afford this.

Ranma:  Well, I make a lot of money selling the flowers Kunou gives me every day...

Nabiki:  Clever.  I never thought of that.  If his family didn't own that florist business, he'd go broke, I think.

Waiter:  (approaches)  Good evening.  What would you like to eat?

Nabiki:  Hmm.  A bottle of wine, some lobster (Ranma winces), some bread, a salad, and a piece of chocolate cake for afterward.  And some rice, too.

Ranma:  The same for me, except for tea instead of the wine.

Waiter:  Very good.  (departs)

(Time passes.  When the food comes, Ranma is telling a story of his past escapades...)

Ranma:  ...So Ukyou was hanging by a rope from the helicopter and I was running through the jungle with that stupid idol while the philipinos were chasing me and I was trying to catch up with the copter so Ukyou could lift me off the ground.  Well, the ar
rows and blowdarts were whizzing around me as I leapt into a tree and sprung towards Ukyou.  She managed to catch my foot so I hung upside down as the chopper climbed into the sky.  And that's how we got away from the old Philipino Temple of Arush.  Too b
ad Dad squandered most of the money on food, but that's how we financed our trip to China...yaay.

Waiter:  Your food, M'sieur and M'dam.

Nabiki:  Thank you.  (She starts to eat.)

Ranma:  (thought)  If I imitate her every move, she can't complain that I eat like a barbarian...because then she would be one...

(Ranma proceeds to eat exactly like Nabiki.  This is aided by the fact that everything they have is identical, except what they are drinking.  Nabiki takes a bite of lobster, Ranma takes a bite of lobster.  Nabiki sips from her wine glass, Ranma sips from
 his glass of tea.  Nabiki butters some bread and eats it, Ranma butters some bread and eats it.  Nabiki looks over at Ranma for a moment staring at him.  He stares back, trying even to copy her expression.)

Nabiki:  Are you imitating me deliberately?

Ranma:  Of course not.  

Nabiki:  At least your manners have improved.

Ranma:  Good.

(This continues for a while, eating in silence.  Nabiki eats slowly.  It is obviously straining Ranma to eat so slow, but he perseveres.  She slows down, then glances at him and sees him slow down.  A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead.  She takes a pi
ece of lobster and loads it down with salt, pepper, and soy sauce, then wraps it in buttered bread.  Ranma imitates her.  She moves to dip it in her wine and Ranma goes for his tea.  She stops short, but he anticipates her and dunks it in his tea.  She gi
ggles a bit, then pours a little bit of sweetener on it and moves to eat it.  Actually she palms it and conceals it, while Ranma has his eyes closed steeling himself to eat it.  He does.  His eyes pop open and he looks to be in pain for a moment, then guz
zles most of his tea.)

Nabiki:  Too spicy for you.

Ranma:  No!  It was delicious!  (gags a bit).  I think I'll have some more. (He is obviously lying to save face.  He does the whole routine again, and gets more tea from the waiter.)

Nabiki :  (thought)  This may be a fun date after all.

(The rest of the meal is uneventful.  They leave to go to the movies...)

(Meanwhile, we see Ryouga storming through the streets of the Nerima district of Tokyo.  Too bad Ranma and Nabiki have gone out of the Nerima district.  Ryouga may have a long search ahead of him...)

Ryouga:  (to a street vendor)  Where is Saotome Ranma?

Vendor:  Do I look like the yellow pages to you?  Go look in a phone book or something.

(Ryouga leaves to look for a phone book).

(We see Ranma and Nabiki at the movies.  They are looking at the signs to decide what to go see.  The movies listed are:
Maverick (subtitled into Japanese)
UY Movie 4:  Lum the Eternal
Guyver Live Action movie
The Kyoto Wildcats (Live Action sports movie)
If a Zaibatsu Falls in a Forest, Does it Make a Sound?  (Live Action business related comedy)
The Lion King (subtitled into Japanese)
Cherry Blossoms (live action romantic movie--set in 19th c. Japan)
)

Ranma:  Well, I'd have to say that the Guyver Live Action movie or The Kyoto Wildcats looks good.

Nabiki:  I think that If a Zaibatsu Falls in a Forest, Does it make a Sound? or maybe Maverick if you have to see something with violence in it...

Ranma:  There's no violence in The Kyoto Wildcats!  It's a sports movie!

Nabiki:  Well, that's almost as much fun as watching paint dry...

Ranma:  And I don't want to watch something with subtitles!

Nabiki:  You can practice your english.  Only a barbarian understands only one language.

Ranma:  I don't want to pract...aargh.  Okay.  Maverick it is.

Nabiki:  Now that we've settled that, you need to buy us some tickets.

Ranma:  I already paid for dinner!  And that was expensive.

Nabiki:  My...a cheapskate.  This evening certainly...

Ranma:  Two tickets coming up.  (Gets in line while Nabiki sits down on a nearby bench.)  (quietly grumbles...)  I never should have made that bet.

Nabiki:  (looks at Ranma, quietly says to self)  This engagement may be more profitable than I thought.  

(Scene cuts to Ryouga wandering through a very nice residential area.  He is going door to door asking if anyone knows Saotome Ranma.  Finally, at the corner, he sees Kunou, who is smelling some roses off a bush in someone's yard.)

Ryouga:  Excuse me, do you know where Saotome Ranma is?

Kunou:  What interest do you have in that vile cad?

Ryouga:  I seek to revenge myself upon him for his offenses to me and his fiancee, Ukyou, an old friend of mine.

Kunou:  We share a mutual interest!  I too have been injured by this cad, Saotome Ranma!  And I know where he lives.  If we wait near there, we can avenge ourselves upon him when he returns for the evening.  While we wait, you can help me find some good r
oses to give to my love.

Ryouga:  Who is your love?  

Kunou:  The lovely Tendo Akane, and the equally lovely....

(When Ryouga hears the words Tendo Akane, he drifts off into fantasy land)

(Ryouga sees a vision of her face at the KFC he just recently met her at.  Her face glows as she smiles at him...

Akane (remembered voice)  Hi.

(Then he snaps back to reality.  He has just pricked himself on a thorn.  He is smiling at the rose bush.  Kunou is staring at him.)

Kunou:  Dost thou not payest attention to mine person?  Your eyes glazed over.  

Ryouga:  Fine.  Just fine.  (Thought:)  Tendo Akane is really beautiful...

(Scene cuts to Akane and Ukyou at a movie theatre.  They are watching Bubble Gum Collapse (The first BGC movie--Yes, I made this up.) )

Akane:  I can't believe you talked me into going to see this.

(On the screen, a boomer hit squad is assassinating the president of the Microsoft-Yamaguchi-Krupp Corporation.)

Ukyou:  This is great.  And you know you like it.  You just won't admit it.

(The screen now shows the Knight Sabers arriving, just a little too late...)

Ukyou:  Ranma would love this movie.

Akane:  Nabiki wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.  

Ukyou:  Why did your father chose Nabiki to engage to Ranma?

Akane:  It was Mr. Saotome's idea.  Dad thought I should marry Ranma.

Ukyou:  Why you?

Akane:  Because we're both into martial arts.  Since whoever Ranma marries has to help run the dojo after dad dies, he thought I would be the logical choice.  

Ukyou:  But why did Mr. Saotome want it to be Nabiki?

Akane:  Because Ranma has no money sense, but he can already fight.  He said two people in a marriage need to complement each other.  And he knew I don't get along with boys very well, unlike Nabiki.

Ukyou:  They all seem to like you.

Akane:  I just don't understand.  I want a real man, not a child like they all are.  Someone mature and caring and loyal.  There is someone I like...but...

Ukyou:  Who is it?

Akane:  He...I have to forget about it...He already has someone else...It's so obvious...but she just can't see it.

Ukyou: Dr. Tofu?

Akane:  How did you...

Ukyou:  Ranma and I figured it out after seeing you around him.  He felt sorry for you, but we thought you wouldn't want us to bring it up.

Akane:  It's so silly for me to feel this way...but I just don't know what to do about it...

Ukyou:  Don't despair.  If not him, I know you'll find someone else.

(On screen, the Knight Sabers have just finished off the boomers and find the dead corporate president.  Linna says "There goes our bonus.")

Akane:  Thank you.  

(Scene cuts to Ranma and Nabiki on the way home.  They are near Akane's friends house, waiting for Akane and Ukyou to arrive so they can trade outfits again.)

Nabiki:  They're late.

Ranma:  So did you enjoy the evening?

Nabiki:  It was different.  At least we both enjoyed the movie.

Ranma:  What I could understand of it.  The ending certainly surprised me.

Nabiki:  I saw it coming a mile away.

Ranma:  How?

Nabiki:  I would have let the man be...

(Before she can finish, two figures stride out of the darkness.  Kunou and Ryouga.  Ranma stares at Ryouga.)

Ranma:  Ryouga, I haven't seen you in a long time.

Ryouga:  You ran out on our challenge.

Ranma:  You never showed up. 

(Kunou looks a little confused)

Kunou:  This isn't Ranma.

Ryouga:  Eh?

Ranma:  What?  Of course I'm Ranma!

Kunou:  His hair is the wrong color.  His pony tail is the wrong length.  Ranma would never dress this well.

Ranma:  Hey!

Kunou:  And I'm certain I've never seen him before.

Ryouga:  Now I'm confused.  

Kunou:  (To Nabiki)  Where is your fiancee, Nabiki?

Nabiki:  I'm not Nabiki, and this is not Ranma.

Ryouga:  But he said...he looks like...I mean, are you Ranma?

Ranma:  Y...(Nabiki stifles him)

Nabiki:  He's Yamada Shinobu. And I'm ...

Ryouga:  But he looks just like Ranma!

Kunou:  He has only a marginal resemblance to Ranma.  But she is definitely Nabiki.

(A window curtain opens in the house, on the second floor.  We see Akane, her friend Yuka, and Ukyou looking out the window.)

Kunou:  Nabiki, why are you out with someone you are not engaged to?

Nabiki:  (Sorrowful act)  Alas, my fiancee is out with another woman tonight and I fell prey to the charms of this stranger....Woe is me, abandoned and alone.  I just felt that since my fiancee has two fiancees, I would need someone to keep me company whe
n he is gone...

Kunou:  You manipulator!  Preying upon a lonely woman abandoned by her worthless fiancee!

Ranma:  I am not worthless!  And this is my fiancee!

Ryouga:  What!  Talked her into engagement already!  Cad!

Kunou:  We will have to thrash your worthless hide while we wait for Ranma to show up!

Ranma:  He's already here!

(They look around.)

Ryouga:  Where?

Kunou:  I'm not dumb enough to fall for that trick, Yamada!

Ranma:  My name is not Yamada!  (Dodges a blow from Kunou's bokken.)

Ryouga:  What?  Proposing to the lady under a false name!  Bounder!  Cad!  (He leaps at Ranma in a flying kick.  Ranma dodges and Ryouga crashes into a nearby car.  Then Ranma leaps on his head and jumps at Kunou, who parries Ranma into another car.  Ranm
a bounces off it and hits Ryouga, who falls down.  Ranma charges Kunou, then rolls past him, gets up and back kicks him.  But now Ranma gets hit by one of Ryouga's bandanas.  His tux sleeve gets cut and he bleeds a little.)

Ranma and Nabiki:  Do you know how much that cost!  Dry cleaning is ...

(They stare at each other in shock for a moment, then Kunou and Ryouga both clobber Ranma.  Nabiki looks a little worried.)

Nabiki:  Hmm...perhaps I made a small error.

(The fight continues, but Ryouga and Kunou gradually overpower Ranma.  His suit is in tatters, he is bruised, but he fight on desperately.  Then a figure suddenly leaps down from a nearby window.  It slams feet first into Kunou who crashes into a wall, an
d falls down.  As he starts to sit up...)

Ukyou-kun (the figure)  I hear you two have been looking for me.

Kunou:  Saotome!  Through your vile deeds, your fiancee has been...(cough) driven into the arms of another man!  What do you have to say for yourself.

Ukyou-kun:  Kunou, you can hardly speak when you are after Akane and my fiancee at the same time.

Kunou:  That's different.  I have honorable intentions.

Ukyou-kun:  And I don't?

Ryouga:  Ranma, is that really you?  You look different.

Ukyou-kun:  (to Ryouga)  I've been through some changes.  

Ryouga:  Saotome Ranma!  You ran away from our last challenge!  Long have I awaited this day.

Ranma:  I did...not run

Ryouga:  You're not Ranma.  Be quiet.

Ranma:  Somehow this is...all...pop's fault.  (quietly passes out.  Nabiki goes over to him)

Nabiki:  Looks like a trip to Dr. Tofu for you, you...barbarian.  (sigh)

Ryouga:  We will fight now!

Ukyou-kun:  Can't this wait?

Ryouga:  No!  I may never find you again.

Ukyou-kun:  With your sense of direction, you may never find anything again.

Ryouga:  Die!  (Throws a hail of bandanas.  Ukyou-kun dodges them desperately.  One strikes his left arm, injuring it.  He now charges forward, feints left, then strikes with a right punch to the kidneys, while stomping Ryouga's foot.  Then Ryouga pokes h
im in the stomach with his umbrella.  That really hurt.)

Ukyou-kun:  Never realized you were so...strong.

Ryouga:  I've always been stronger than you.

Ukyou-kun:  And I've always been better.

(He jumps onto the car, then off Kunou's head past Ryouga.  He misses Ryouga)

Ryouga:  Hah!  You missed!  

(He sees Ukyou-kun has his backpack.  He is quite surprised.  Meanwhile, we see Nabiki hauling off Ranma.  Akane vanishes from the upstairs window.  Yuka is still watching.)

Ryouga:  Give it back!  

Ukyou-kun:  Good luck catching me!

(He leaps car to window to car to tree to Kunou's head to bush to car to top of Ryouga's head to the ground.  Ryouga chases him, but has absolutely no luck.)

Ryouga:  Stop running and fight!

Ukyou-kun:  You have to catch me...(Kunou grabs Ukyou-kun from behind) first.  Drat.  (tries to flip Kunou over him.  That works, but now Kunou and Ryouga are after him.  Ukyou-kun sees Ranma is out of harm's way and gets ready to bolt.)

Akane:  Throw it to me!  (Akane has come out now.  Ukyou-kun tosses the backpack to Akane, who prepares to run.  Ryouga turns around and stares.)

Ryouga:  I...you're so...I mean...my backpack...

Akane:  Are you okay?  (Ukyou-kun takes off pursued by Kunou)

Ukyou-kun:  Thanks, Akane!  

Ryouga:  May I..um...walk you home?

Akane:  Uh...sure.  (gives back the backpack)

Akane:  So...why are you so angry at Ranma...?

(They start walking together...
Cut to the next day.  Ranma-chan, Akane, Nabiki, and Ukyou-kun are doing homework in the living room.  Nabiki is just staring at a bill while Ranma-chan looks morose.)

Nabiki:  I've never seen a bill for this much money in connection with a tuxedo.

Ranma-chan:  I'll be in debt for the rest of my life.

Nabiki:  I might be willing to make a loan...

Ranma-chan:  It's your fault that it got damaged!

Nabiki:  I tried to get us out of that fight.  And you lost our bet, so now you owe me...

Ranma-chan:  Why'd you tell them I seduced you?

Nodoka:  (enters the room from the kitchen)  What's this I hear about seduction?

(They all pale.  Ranma-chan and Nabiki both try to hide the bill and only attract Nodoka's attention to it.  She picks it up.)

Nodoka:  300,000 yen?  This is criminal!  (turns to Ukyou-kun)  What happened last night?

Ranma-chan:  That bastard Kunou and that idiot Ryouga tried to...

Nodoka:  (pales)  That's no language for a lady!

Ranma-chan:  I'm not a...

Nabiki:  (covers Ranma's mouth)  She just feels sorry that Ranma got beat up by two old enemies of his last night.  

Nodoka:  (comes over to Ukyou-kun).  Oh, my son.  Are you okay?

Ukyou-kun:  Ran...My suit was wrecked, but I'm okay.  And Kunou and Ryouga got as much as they gave.

Nodoka:  Come with me.  I want to talk to your father about how we're going to pay that bill...You shouldn't have let them provoke you.  

Ukyou-kun:  Yes, mom.  (goes off with Nodoka)

Ranma-chan:  Well, that's one less worry for me...sort of.

Nabiki:  Well now I have a slave for a week.

Ranma-chan:  What?

Nabiki:  Last night was not the best time of my life, so you have to be my slave like we agreed on.

Ranma-chan:  Hey, that was the most expensive date I've ever been on!

Nabiki:  A fight and dragging my date to the doctor is not the perfect ending to a perfect evening.

Ranma-chan:  That wasn't my fault!

Nabiki:  If you hadn't kept insisting you were Ranma...

Ranma-chan:  I AM RANMA!  

(Nodoka sticks her head out of the kitchen.  Ranma faints.)

Nodoka:  Did someone just call for Ranma?

Nabiki:  Ukyou is just getting bent out of shape because she lost a bet with me.

Nodoka:  A bet?

Nabiki:  She said that even I couldn't have a bad date with Ranma and I said he was a barbarian, so we bet that if the date was the best of my life, I would be Ukyou's slave for a week.  If not, Ukyou would serve me for a week.

Nodoka:  Is that true?

Ranma-chan:  Yes, M..Mrs. Saotome.

Nodoka:  That wasn't a very smart bet to make, Ukyou.  Only Nabiki could judge if you won or not.  But I won't let Nabiki hold you to it.  You two shouldn't squabble like that.

Ranma-chan:  We can't help squabbling.  I...

Nodoka:  No more fighting.  (back in the kitchen.  Ranma-chan sticks out her tongue at Nabiki)

Nabiki:  Barbarian.

(Akane laughs as Ranma-chan and Nabiki glare at each other).

**********************
(End Part 2)


(Part 3)
**********************
(Back to Akane writing in her diary. The wall calendar reads October)

Akane voiceover (diary entry):  I have finally given up on Dr. Tofu.  I wish that he might one day care for me as I care for him, but I realize that this love of mine for him is hopeless.  He loves Kasumi, not me.  Deep down, I always knew that, but it ha
s taken me a long time to admit it to myself.  I am sad, but at the same time, it is a weight of sorts lifted from my shoulders.  I do not know what I will do.  
     I certainly don't intend to date any of those jerks at my high school, especially Kunou!  This business of fighting all the boys at school every day is starting to get to me.  At least Ranma and Ukyou help out.  I think I would be quite insane by now
 if I had to fight that horde alone every day, even though they could never meaningfully hurt me physically. I think Ranma and Ryouga are the only guys I know who don't try to beat me up on a regular basis.  Ryouga is really nice, although I don't underst
and why he has those weird trances.  Ranma and I fight sometimes, and sometimes we get along great.  He is really strange, but I think a lot of it is this business of having to pass as Ukyou all the time.  It really puts him on edge. 
     I just wish I could meet a real man.  Someone who is kind and gentle and loving, and doesn't fear Kunou. Someone who can fight, but doesn't think he has to protect me all the time.  I don't know how or where I'll ever find him, but I hope I do.
(knock on her door)

Voice:  Is this Akane's room or am I in the wrong house again?

(Akane gets up, answers the door.  A battered Ryouga, who has a bent (to his head's shape) frying pan on his head is standing with a little cage with a cloth over it.)

Ryouga:  I...brought you a present for your birthday.

Akane:  What is it?

Ryouga:  Taa Daa!  (Grand flourish.  A little black piglet wearing a yellow and black bandana is revealed in the cage.  Akane takes it out and holds it.)

Akane:  He's so cute!  What's his name?

Ryouga:  He doesn't have one yet.  The bandana was my idea...

Akane:  I'll call him Hibiki P-chan because you gave him to me.

Ryouga:  P-chan?

Akane:  P for pig, chan for little.

Ryouga:  Okay.

Akane:  Thank you, Ryouga!  (Gives him a hug on the way out into the hall, which she heads down.)

Akane:  Ranma, Ukyou, Nabiki, come see what Ryouga gave me!

Ryouga:  (still standing in exactly the position he was in when she hugged him.  He is overwhelmed with joy.)  Akane...Akane touched me...She liked it!  I can die happy...(faints)

********************
(We see Ukyou-kun and Ranma-chan on the dojo roof, looking at the stars.)

Ukyou-kun:  If I have to keep this charade up much longer, I'll go nuts.

Ranma-chan:  Same here.  And Nabiki is just more than I can stand.

Ukyou-kun:  If she tries to manipulate us one more time...

Ranma-chan:  She's not even as beautiful as you.

Ukyou-kun:  I'm not very beautiful right now.

Ranma-chan:  I don't care about that...this isn't exactly my day to be manly.

(They start to snuggle, but then we hear in the distance...)

Ryouga:  Saotome!  Prepare to fight!  We have unfinished business....

Ukyou-kun:  I'll go take...

Ranma-chan:  Let me take care of this.  

(As Ranma-chan bounds off towards the voices, Ukyou-kun sighs.)

Ukyou-kun:  This always seems to happen whenever we find a few moments alone.

(We see Akane in her bedroom.  The wall calendar reads November now.)

Akane:  I should never have told the gymnastics team I would substitute for them in that Martial Gymnastics Tournament.  I don't know anything about it.  But they looked so desperate...and that Kodachi girl sounds like a real maniac...attacking her compet
itors before the match...

(Scene cuts back to show P-chan sitting on her desk, and Kodachi hanging from the ceiling with a mallet in her mouth.  Akane sees her right as she descends from the ceiling towards Akane's bed, Mallet in hand.  Akane rolls out of bed and onto her feet.  K
odachi bounces off the bed and backflips towards her.  Akane dodges and kicks the mallet out of her hand.)

Kodachi:  The rumors are true.  You are good.

Akane:  You're that black rose nut!

Kodachi:  I am not a nut.  (Springs at her with a flying kick.  Akane gets out of the way and Kodachi almost goes out the window.  She pulls some pins and tosses them at Akane.  Akane dodges left, jumps onto the bed, and snap-kicks Kodachi in the face (us
ing the bed to gain height).  Kodachi falls back towards the door.  The door flies open, smacking her between door and wall.  It is Nabiki.)

Nabiki:  Have you seen everybody's favorite barbarian?  Mr. Saotome wants to talk to Ranma.

Akane:  Look out, Nabiki! (Too late.  Kodachi kicks the door open, hitting Nabiki in the face.  Nabiki staggers back into the hallway, while Kodachi tries to snare Akane's legs with a ribbon.  Akane grabs scissors off the desk and cuts the ribbon.)

Kodachi:  My ribbon!

Akane:  You hurt my sister, you creep!  (Nabiki is sitting in the hallway looking stunned as the door bounces back open again.  Akane launches her self at Kodachi, who dives to avoid her.  As she stands, Akane clobbers her with her own mallet.  She passes
 out and flies  out the window.  From the roof, Ukyou-kun sees her plummeting)

Ukyou-kun:  Poor girl!  (Ukyou-kun launches himself from the roof to catch the unconscious Kodachi.  He catches her and they land near the pond.  Kodachi wakes up and looks at Ukyou-kun)

Kodachi:  (thought)  A handsome warrior come to save me from that wicked Tendo girl.  Oh, long have I waited for such a man...(Spoken)  What is your name, noble warrior?

Ukyou-kun:  Wha...oh.  I'm Kuo...Saotome Ranma.

Kodachi:  (breathy)  Kiss me, Ranma...

Ukyou-kun:  (thought)  Oh no...  (spoken)  I'm already engaged...

Nabiki:  (yells down from window)  I'm going to sue!

Kodachi:  Then please accept these roses as a gift (holds out a bouquet of roses)

Ukyou-kun: Uh, okay...(takes roses, sniffs, instant paralysis)

Kodachi:  Now you will kiss me...(Her face closes in.  Ukyou-kun has a look of horror on his face....when....)

(Before Kodachi makes contact, there is a hand inbetween her face and Ukyou-kun's.  It is joined by a second, which grabs Kodachi's ponytail and drags her away.  It is the hands of Ranma-chan, who looks quite irritated.

Ranma-chan:  (to Ukyou-kun)  What's going on here?  Hey, say something!

Kodachi:  My beloved was just about to kiss me.

Ranma-chan:  Just about to what?  Uk...Ranma, why aren't you answering me?

Kodachi:  Who are you?

Ranma-chan:  His fiancee, Kuonji Ukyou.

Kodachi:  My brother has quite a thing for you.  (She now sees an angry Akane and Soun are closing in.)  Perhaps we shall meet again.  (leaps off rooftop to rooftop)

Ranma-chan:  Brother?

Akane:  I hope that doesn't mean her brother is...

Nabiki:  She's Kunou's sister, and I'm definitely going to sue...Why didn't you protect me, barbarian fiancee.  Violence is something you're good at!

Ranma-chan:  I was off making sure Ryouga didn't try to kill me..us..um..cause trouble

Akane:  Ryouga is a nice guy.  I can't see why you two can't get along.

Ranma-chan:  He wants to kill me.

Ukyou-kun:  (gas wearing off)  Poison in those flowers.

Nabiki:  (gathering the flowers)  Hmm...I wonder how much these sell for.

**************
(A little later.  Akane is in the dojo trying to learn martial gymnastics.  Unfortunately, she doesn't quite have the knack.  It isn't the martial part.  It's the gymnastics part that's killing her.  She completes her efforts by tangling herself up in her
 ribbon like a mummy, and getting stuck that way. 

Akane:  Hsdfjkasdf (Even her mouth is wrapped up.)

( Scene cuts to the dining room.  Kasumi and Nodoka are setting up dinner.  Nabiki, Ranma-chan, Ukyou-kun, Soun, and Genma are sitting around waiting for dinner.)

Kasumi:  Has anyone seen Akane?

Ranma-chan:  I think she was trying to learn gymnastics or something in the dojo.

Nodoka:  Can you go get her, Ukyou?

(Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun both start to get up, then Ukyou-kun sits back down.)

(Ranma-chan heads for the dojo.  She looks a little worried)

Ranma-chan:  This is really starting to get to me.  Spending all this time in girl-form, answering to Ukyou's name....How long is this going to go on?

(Heads into the dojo.  Looks around.  Doesn't notice the wrapped up Akane, turns to go)

Akane:  Iwergirvfaskhjh!

(Ranma-chan turns again, looks at her, then starts to laugh)

Ranma-chan:  I like your new look!  Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!

(Akane fumes helplessly.  Ranma finally stops laughing and starts untangling her)

Ranma-chan: You are so clumsy sometimes...

Akane:  I'd like to see you do better!

Ranma-chan:  All right!  (once she has Akane untangled,she proceeds to show off.)  

(She is currently wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  She lines up several bottles near one wall, then rapidly knocks them down with tossed ninepins, tumbles across the room to and through her hoop, then leaps into the air and gracefully backflips.  She conclud
es by snapping at Akane with the ribbon, but something goes wrong and it snaps back at her, tangling her like Akane.  Akane stares for a moment, then giggles.)

Akane:  See.  I knew you couldn't do better.

Ranma-chan:  Eruwisvdcvinowoaskadiwe!  

Akane:  See you after dinner.  

Ranma-chan:  Fpmy ;rsbr ,r!

(Akane starts to go, then relents and unties Ranma-chan)

Akane:  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm not ready for that match...

Ranma-chan:  I think your ribbon is defective.

(Akane stares a moment, then softly laughs.  A shadow suddenly looms over them.  It is Ryouga, idly juggling the gymnastics sphere.  )

Ryouga:  I can teach you, Akane...

******************************

(It is the day of the competition.  We see Ryouga walking down the road.  )

Ryouga:  I will make it to the competition!  I will!  My love for Tendo Akane can overcome anything!  Anything!

(We see Ranma-chan perched up in a tree nearby.)

Ranma-chan:  So you're sweet on Akane, eh?  I should have guessed.

Ryouga:  And?  

Ranma-chan:  Nothing...

Ryouga:  I...You really look different than you used to, Ukyou.

Ranma-chan:  Uh, yeah.  (sighs.)

Ryouga:  And Ranma too.  I hardly recognize either of you anymore.  One day I'll get even with Ranma for what he did to me!  One day!

Ranma-chan:  What did I...he do to you?

Ryouga:  He ran away from our duel!

Ranma-chan:  I don't remember any duel.

Ryouga:  That's because he ran away and never showed up!  I walked for four days to get there!

Ranma-chan:  But you lived next door to us.

(Ryouga blushes a bit.)

Ryouga:  Well, we'd better get going---I want to see Akane defeat Kodachi.

Ranma-chan:  You sound pretty confident.

Ryouga:  With my brilliant training of her, she can't lose!

Ranma-chan:  I'm sure Kodachi is quaking in her leotard at facing someone you trained.  (sarcastic tone)

Ryouga:  (ranting)  The Black Rose shall have its petals plucked!  HA HA HA HA HA !

Ranma-chan:  So how did you learn enough Martial Gymnastics to teach Akane?

Ryouga:  I saw a competition in it once.

Ranma-chan:  And...?

Ryouga:  It looked pretty simple to me.

Ranma-chan:  (mutters to self)  Well that inspires confidence (sarcastic tone)

**********************

(We cut to the competition hall.  Just about everyone is there.  Nadoka, Soun, Genma, Nabiki, Kasumi, and Ukyou-kun are sitting together.)

Nadoka:  Ranma, where is Ukyou?

Ukyou-kun:  (thinks for a moment)  I thought she should be here already.  And Ryouga too.

Kasumi:  That was so nice of him to put all that effort into training Akane.

Soun:  I'm surprised he knew enough about it to train her.

Nabiki:  I should make about 20,000 yen if Akane wins this.  She had better win.

(The announcer comes out:)

Announcer:  Fighting for the honor of the Furinkan High Women's Martial Gymnastics Team, Tendo Akane!  (spotlight on Akane in one corner.  We see Ryouga in a coach outfit and Ranma-chan looking uncomfortable in a gymnastics outfit, sitting on a nearby ben
ch.)

Akane:  Thanks for agreeing to be my second in case Kodachi cheats, Ranma.

Ranma-chan:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Just try to be quick.  I feel silly in this outfit.

Announcer:  And fighting for St. Hebereke's School for Girls, Kunou Kodachi!

(Kodachi drops down in a spinning fall from the rafters and gracefully lands in her corner.  She has a gymnastics ball in one hand and a ribbon in the other.  A single black rose is clenched between her teeth.  )

Kunou(from Audience)  My sister knows how to make a grand entrance.

Announcer:  Let the fight begin!

(Kodachi opens by tossing a ball at Akane, who easily dodges left.  Kodachi springs past her as she dodges, striking Akane with a gymnastics pin.  Akane then rears back and throws her gym ball like a baseball pitcher.  Kodachi bats it away with the pin.  
It flies into the audience and hits Kunou in the head.  He falls down.)

Ranma-chan:  (to Ryouga)  That's not how you're supposed to throw it, is it?

Ryouga:  Well, they usually didn't throw it at the match, so I coached her in some baseball throwing.

Ranma-chan:  (buries face in hands)  This is going to be bad.

Akane:  Haa!  Let's see you block this.  (She charges at Kodachi, a pin in each  hand.  Kodachi casually disarms Akane with her ribbon, then lets Akane swing and strike empty air with her empty hands.  Kodachi then bonks Akane with her own pins.  But whil
e she is doing this, Akane kicks Kodachi's own ball into her gut with a soccer kick.  Kodachi flies across the ring and Akane picks her pins back up.  Kodachi lands on one of the posts.

Kodachi:  Not bad.  But not good enough.  (She waves to Ukyou-kun)  This will be over soon, darling Ranma.

Ryouga:  Execute plan 2, Akane!

(While she is distracted, Akane hits both her legs with pins.  Kodachi falls forward and flips over Akane's head.  She lands gracefully, but Akane throws three pins at her.  She parries them, but is left open as Akane pulls out her ribbon and whips it at 
her...only to have a sudden breeze blow it back.  She is soon swathed in her own ribbon...hopelessly entangled.)

Akane: Randfgjfgjkd...you..sfmlajdfkjasd me.

(Kodachi is rolling her out of the ring using her pins to push Akane, when the Announcer calls a time out.)

Announcer:  No one is allowed to defeat themselves, so the second must enter the ring.  

(Ranma-chan grimaces and climbs up in the ring.)

Announcer:  And the second is?

Ranma-chan:  Saotome...Ukyou.  (She grimaces again)

(Nadoka gasps.  Nabiki just stares at Ranma-chan.  Ukyou-kun smiles wistfully for a moment.  Soun's mouth falls open.  )

Nadoka:  She's already taken his name?  They're only engaged.  And he's engaged to Nabiki too.  We really need to find a solution to this whole double engagement problem.

Soun:  (to Genma)  Did you forget to tell me about something?  (looks mad)

Genma:  No!  H..she must have just slipped up...

Nabiki:  (mutters to self)  My fiancee is such an idiot.  Why not just tell the world?

Nadoka:  Tell the world what, Nabiki?  

Nabiki:  Nothing.  (looks cranky)

Nadoka:  Was this your idea, Ranma?

Ukyou-kun:  I'm as surprised as you are.    

Whispers in the crowd:  I thought they were just engaged...Isn't Ranma engaged to that Nabiki girl?....Maybe she's Ranma's sister...I thought her name was Kuonji...This glass is half-full...poor Akane...poor Nabiki...

Kunou:  You cannot have her, Saotome!  I cannot let you force that sweet girl, so full of life, to share your vile name!  (starts making his way through the crowd.

(Ranma-chan and Kodachi face off in the ring.)

Kodachi:  You share my beloved's name, but I do not recognize you.  Are you his sister?

Ranma-chan:  I am the one true fiancee of Saotome Ranma, the nicest man in Nerima!  And he is not your beloved!

(Nadoka stares.  Soun is fuming.  Nabiki flinches a bit.  Ukyou smiles.  Genma tries to sneak off.  Soun grabs him.)

Soun:  One true fiancee?

Genma:  (whispers)  He's just acting.  He's trying to be a realistic Ukyou.  Isn't he doing a good job?

Soun:  He had better be acting.

Nadoka:  (to Ranma)  It is good to see she is so devoted to you, but I don't think she should use your name yet...

Nabiki:  She can have his name.  I don't want it.

Nadoka:  Don't feel bad, Nabiki.  You haven't been cast out.  Ukyou's just getting a little over-enthusiastic.

Nabiki:  Well, that's comforting.  (sarcastic tone.  Gets out her camera)  At least I can make a profit out of this.

(Ranma-chan and Kodachi are fighting away.  Ranma-chan is more skilled generally, but this is Kodachi's specialty.  Only Ranma-chan's superior speed is enabling her to keep up with Kodachi's attacks.  This goes on for a while.  By now Ryouga has disentang
led Akane, who is now sitting on the bench with him watching the fight.)

Akane:  She's really good.

Ryouga:  I'm sorry.  My plan messed you up.(hangs his head)

Akane:  You tried your best.  That evil ribbon just messed me up, not you.  (looks at it lying on the ground.  It twitches.  She looks away)  You did your best.  (She holds one of his hands)  Thank you, Ryouga-kun.

(Ryouga's face lights up with joy, then he passes out from shock)

Akane:  Sometimes I just don't understand you.

(Kodachi almost pins Ranma-chan into a corner, but she springboards off Kodachi's head and grabs both of her pins in the process.  There are pins scattered everywhere.  Ranma-chan hefts the gym ball and throws it at her.  She leaps straight up and throws 
more pins.  As Ranma-chan dodges, Kodachi bounces off the roof and comes straight down at her with her gymball held in front of her.  She crashes into Ranma, who then bounces off the ropes and fires back at her like a slingshot.  She reaches out with her 
ribbon and snags a table to block Ranma, who breaks the table, but is stopped by it.)

Akane:  Is that fair?

Announcer:  She used a weapon.  Table Block, valid!

(Ranma starts dodging as Kodachi grabs a microphone, a coke machine, a chair, and a Ford Pinto out of the audience and throws them at Ranma with her ribbon.  Ranma dodges them all, but it is obvious he can't keep this up forever.  Ukyou-kun gets out of hi
s seat and heads down to the pit where Akane is about to try to revive Ryouga with some cold water.  Kunou has to change his course to intercept "Ranma". The Tendos and Saotomes have their eyes locked on the fight. ) 

Ukyou-kun:  What's wrong with him?

Akane: I don't know, he just passed out after I thanked him for coaching me.  He worked so hard.

Ukyou-kun:  Lets' shake him first, before we get him wet.

(Kodachi snakes down her ribbon and grabs the cold water.  She flings it at Ranma-chan)

Kodachi:  Hah!  Cold shower attack!

(Ranma-chan gets wet.  Big deal.  But Kodachi follows up by throwing an entire shower at her.)

Ukyou-kun:  Ranma needs something to block with...(sees the ribbon)  Ah hah!

(Tosses Ribbon to Ranma-chan, who instinctively catches it.  She snares the shower and whips it around back at Kodachi, who gets hit and flies out of the ring....

then the ring moves so that Kodachi lands on it.  Everyone is stunned.)

Genma:  How did she do that?

Soun:  She must be...must be...

Nadoka:  yes?

Soun:  Lucky?

(Everyone face-faults)

Ranma-chan:  Something strange is going on here.

Ukyou-kun:  Time for a little detective work.  Come on, Akane.  (They dart under the stage.  There are about thirty girls in gymnastics outfits down there.  They stare at Ukyou-kun and Akane)

Ukyou-kun:  So, helping out your teammate?

Girl:  Uh, yeah.

Akane:  So are we.  (Akane and Ukyou-kun charge into the horde of gymnasts from St. Hebereke.)

(We cut to up above, where Ranma-chan and Kodachi are alternating grabbing things from the area and trying to hit each other with them.  Every once and a while, the stage bulges a bit and we hear a yell.)

Ranma-chan:  What's going on down there?

(Kunou has almost reached the pit where Ryouga is passed out.  He looks around.)

Kunou:  Blast!  Saotome is hiding from me.  Come out you coward!  (A horde of gymnasts flees from under the stage, running him over.  He passes out)

Kodachi:  You are such an idiot, brother.

(Ranma-chan whips the ribbon around, snaring the distracted Kodachi.  She flings Kodachi out of the ring.   Then the ribbon whips back around, tangling Ranma-chan up.  She falls down.)

Ranma-chan:  AMdfiajfias  afjiq f ribbon f;o;iaf;adjf!

Announcer:  The winner!  Saotome Ukyou!

(Ukyou-kun comes up on the stage and hugs Ranma-chan, then starts disentangling her.  We see Akane reviving Ryouga by shaking him.  Akane helps Ryouga up.)

Ryouga:  Did we win?

Akane:  Yes, we did.

Ryouga:  Good.  (passes out again).

****************************************
(We see Akane writing in her diary.  The wall calendar reads November.  )

Akane voiceover:  Dear Diary.  It's getting colder.  I can tell that winter is coming.  We may get snow soon.  I have been trying to get Ryouga, Ranma and Ukyou to go ice skating with me and Nabiki, but they keep making corny excuses.  I can't understand 
why.  I guess they must be worried about the ice breaking and them getting splashed in public.  Well, Ranma and Ukyou would be worried.  Ryouga has nothing to worry about in that respect.  

(Akane looks over at P-chan, who is sitting on the desk next to her diary.)

Akane:  You're such a sweet little pig.  (she pets it.)  Just like...

(Her door flies open.  Ukyou-kun is standing there looking half angry and half desperate.  She comes in and slams the door behind her.)

Ukyou-kun:  That idiot!  You've got to help us Akane.  We're doomed, doomed.

Akane:  Doomed?

Ukyou-kun:  Ranma got us into a skating challenge!  He got in an argument with this guy when the guy started hitting on me...

Akane: Who's the guy?

Ukyou-kun:  Sanzezin Mikado.  His partner is Shiratori Asuza!

Akane:  The Golden Pair of Martial Skating?

Ukyou-kun:  (sinks to the floor)  Yes.

Akane:  But you two are great fighters.  You shouldn't...

Ukyou-kun:  If we knew how to skate.

Akane:  You can't ice skate?

Ukyou-kun:  Ranma would never admit it, but we never had time to learn, running around with Mr. Saotome like we did.  

Akane:  I'll get Ryouga to help me show you two how Martial Skating works.

(Scene cuts to the skating rink.  Ranma and Ukyou are there with Ryouga and Akane.  All four are wearing iceskates.  Ranma, Ukyou, and Ryouga look kinda wobbly.)

Akane:  Ready, Ryouga?

Ryouga:  Of course.  (He steps out on the ice and immediately falls down.  He gets up, and falls again.  On his third try, he manages to pull Akane down on him too.)

Ranma:  I see we're learning from a true master.  (Ukyou giggles, Ryouga glares, Akane sighs.)

Akane:  This is going to be harder than I thought.  I'm going to need some help.

******************

(A little later, we see Ranma, Ukyou, and Ryouga out on the ice slipping, tripping, and sliding wildly.  Akane and Nabiki are busily trying to teach them to skate.)

Ukyou:  (head turned back towards Ranma) Hey, this is easier than I thought

Ranma:  (flailing wildly)  I think maybe men weren't meant to skate  (Now heading for the wall)  AAAHHHH!!!!

(Nabiki zooms in, grabs Ranma's hand and pulls him away from his collision course with the wall.  Meanwhile, Ukyou, who was watching that, suddenly collides with someone--Sanzezin Mikado)

Mikado:  You just couldn't stay away from me.  I can't blame you, lovely one.  (They are now gliding across the ice together, mainly because Ukyou can't turn with him in the way.)

Ranma:  Hey, let go of my...(Nabiki covers his mouth and leads him off across the ice.  He tries to turn back, but she speeds up.)  MPJJJHH!!!

Akane:  (looking at Nabiki)  What is she doing?  (sees Ryouga is heading for the wall now too, skates to his rescue)

(Azusa sees Ukyou's scarf.  Her eyes light up.  )

Azusa:  Jean-Michel!  (She skates by, grabbing the scarf as Ukyou tries to get Mikado to let go.  As the scarf unwinds, it spins Ukyou and Mikado around like a top.  Finally, the two of them fly apart and go crashing off across the rink...)

Ranma:  Ukyou!  (He tries to break loose from Nabiki and skate to her rescue.  Unfortunately, his aim isn't too good, and he ends up simply crossing her path.  They grab hands and start spinning in a circle....too bad Azusa is too busy with her new scarf 
to save Mikado...who crashes into a wall.)

Nabiki:  Hmph.  Not even a thank you.

Azusa:  (putting on and cuddling the scarf)  Jean-Michel!  You are so warm...

Mikado:  (lying crumpled by the wall)  Why do I have such an idiot for a partner...

Akane:  (to Ryouga)  Are you okay? (She is holding his hand as they skate to keep him steady)

Ryouga:  Fine, just fine.  I feel...great (He looks somewhat dazed and happy)

Akane: Let's go join the others.

Ryouga:  Let's...Whatever you say, Akane-chan...(Sounds almost wraithlike)

Akane:  C'mon.  (they head back towards the others...Nabiki is idly circling Ukyou and Ranma who are holding hands as they skate and still wobbling and slipping quite a bit.)

Nabiki:  At the rate you two are going, I could beat you in martial skating by myself.

Ranma:  We'll win.  If it has the word Martial in it, I can't lose!  (Falls on his face)

Nabiki:  How inspiring.  You bought Edsel stock too, didn't you.

**********************
(scene cuts later to the Tendo living room.  Akane, Soun, Nodoka, Genma, and Nabiki are having a shouting match.)

Soun:  You bet your fiancee was going to lose?  How could you do that?

Nabiki:  My fiancee couldn't skate his way off an ice cube, let alone fight with skates.

Nodoka:  This shows a fundamental lack of trust in...

Nabiki: HE CAN'T SKATE!  HE IS UTTERLY UNABLE TO STAY UP!  I AM NOT GOING TO BET HE'LL WIN WHEN HE IS DOOMED TO FAIL!  DOOMED!

Genma:  My son can adapt to anything.  You should believe in his capabilities.  He would not have arranged this match if...

Nabiki:  HE GOT IN THIS MATCH BECAUSE OF HIS OWN STUPID PRIDE!  HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS GETTING INTO!  (much quieter)  And it's all for that bimbo Ukyou anyway...

Akane:  Ukyou is not a bimbo.  She told me that she tried to stop him, but sometimes he just doesn't think before he does something.

Nabiki:  You don't start a fight you can't win!  Violence is for idiots, anyway!

Soun:  Sometimes honor demands that...

Nabiki:  (interrupting)  Honor this!  Honor that!  You can't live off honor!  You two (points to Soun and Genma) have wrecked my entire semester because honor hitched me up with your (points to Genma) barbarian son!  I can't go on dates!  I can't talk to 
any other guy or Ranma feels he has to beat him up!  My future has been stolen from me!  And I'm not changing the bet I made!  Not!  Not! Not!  I may have lost most of my freedom, but I haven't lost it all yet!
(storms out of the room)

Soun:  COME BACK HERE, NOW!  (He looks very mad)

(Soun starts to follow Nabiki, but Nodoka grabs his shoulder)

Nodoka:  Let me talk to her.  If you go, you'll just end up screaming at each other.  Let me see if I can get her to calm down.  

Soun:  She should not disobey her father!  

Nodoka:  Children always rebel.  Please let me see if I can convince her to reconcile with you...parents and children should not be angry with each other.

Soun:  (pulls himself together)  I can't sanction such an act against her fiancee, but...I will let you see what you can do.  We still have a day before the match.

(Nodoka heads upstairs.)

************************
(We see Nabiki in her room, sitting on the bed and staring at the bulletin board of pictures on the wall.  It has several pictures of the Tendo clan at various ages, a picture of her father and mother (very old and taken by a different kind of camera than
 the others), a picture of Akane holding a bucket of water over an unsuspecting sunbathing Ranma, a picture of Ranma in samurai garb, Akane in elizabethan dress, Ryouga in ninja garb, Ukyou with dyed green hair and fake horns and wearing a tiger striped b
ikini, and Nabiki in a police uniform at a costume party, and a picture (badly taken--lower quality camera too) of Ukyou-kun and Nabiki standing near the family shrine.  Both look tremendously uncomfortable in the "fiancee couple" pose that the unknown ph
otographer put them in.  )

(Nabiki is staring at the costume party picture.  In it, Ranma is in the middle, with Ukyou leaning up against him on the left, and Nabiki standing a few inches to his right, looking straight at the camera man.  Akane is to the left of Ukyou, while Ryouga
 stands behind her in a "sneaking up on you" pose.)

Nabiki:  I suppose I should take that down before Mrs. Saotome sees it and asks who those two are....damn their secret!  Half the time I have to pretend my ri..the other fiancee is actually the person I'm engaged to.  And I have to censor my every thought
, just to keep it from slipping out.  I never asked for this.  And now this bet business....Dammnit!  If Kasumi or Akane had done this, they'd be able to wiggle out of it.  Dad would probably congratulate them on their common sense.  Everyone likes them b
etter than me.  I can't help it if I'm not as pretty as them or if I've chosen a different way to be, instead of imitating Mom like Kasumi does or Dad like Akane does...

Ranma:  (who Nabiki now realizes has been perched on the windowsill for some time)  If they had done what?  (He apparently has no idea what is going on)

Nabiki:  How long have you been up there?

Ranma:  Just a little while.  Mind if I cut through here on my way to the bathroom to change?

Nabiki:  Yes!  This is all your fault!  Find someone else to help you keep your secrets...and your...your...

Ranma:  I'll just make this quick then.  (He darts past Nabiki, and has his hand on the doorknob, when there is a knock on the door.)

Nodoka:  Can I come in?  
(Ranma leaps up onto the doorknob and crouches as Nodoka starts to open the door)

Nabiki:  Well, uh....(Too late, the door is open.  Nodoka comes in.  Ranma is now frantically trying to be as small as possible while standing on the doorknob.)

Nodoka:  I think the knob needs to be oiled.  It was hard to turn.  May I talk to you?

Nabiki:  I'm not sure if this is the best time.  (Ranma gets off knob, prepares to sneak out.  But Nodoka reaches back and pushes the door shut without looking)

Nodoka:  If not me, then your father will try to straighten this out.

Nabiki:  Um, okay  I guess that...(Ranma starts to open the door.  Nodoka starts turning around)

Nodoka:  Is someone there?  (Ranma leaps onto the ceiling and clings to it.  Nodoka does not see him.)

Nabiki:  I think Akane's pig is running around again.  You must have just heard it.

Nodoka:  (turns back around.  Ranma is still clinging to the ceiling.)  Okay.  Your father expects you to come out and apologize and withdraw that bet.

Nabiki:  I'll apologize for yelling at him, but I won't withdraw the bet.

Nodoka:  Do you really think Ranma will lose?

Nabiki:  He is doomed.  I can skate better than he can.

Nodoka:  Really?

Nabiki:  Yes.  I think I could beat him at Martial Skating if I knew anything at all about fighting...but I don't do violence.  That's Akane's job.

Nodoka:  Is she really that violent?

Nabiki:  She's always been the scrapper in this family.  I talk my way out of problems, rather than hit people.

(We see Ranma attempting to slowly inch his way across the ceiling back to the door.)

Nabiki:  (sighs)  And everybody loves Kasumi.  She never had trouble with anyone.  

Nodoka:  What do you think about Ranma, Nabiki?

Nabiki:  I...I don't think this engagement is going to work out.  He doesn't want to marry me.  I don't want to marry him.  He's violent, jealous, and uncouth.  On the other hand, he is determined, a good fighter, and loyal to his family and friends.  I t
hink he gets along better with Akane than me.  Neither of us gets along well with each other.  But we don't have a choice, either.  

(Ranma pauses over the door, and looks sadly at Nabiki.)

Nodoka:  (looks a little sad)  Are you two really having so much trouble?

Nabiki:  Isn't it obvious?  He prefers Ukyou, anyway.

Nodoka: Why do you think that?

Nabiki:  She's cuter than me, she's a martial artist like him, he spends a lot more time with her than me, and they've been living together since they were six.  They have a history together.  Ranma and I don't.  

Nodoka:  I think you're as pretty as she is.  

Nabiki:  (starts crying)  Nobody really believes that.  (tears get worse)  Kasumi and Akane always get complimented on how pretty and cute they are...They both have men all over them...I'm stuck with a barbarian who doesn't even like me.  (total tears bre
akdown)

(Ranma looks half-guilty, half-sad up on the ceiling.)

Ranma:  (quiet voice)  Please don't cry.  I'm so...

(Before he can finish, Nodoka hears him, and turns and stares at him.  He stares back.)

Nodoka:  AAHHH!!!! THERE'S A BURGLAR ON THE CEILING!!!!

(She pulls out her katana and runs at him.  He yelps, drops to the floor, and runs out the door.  Nodoka chases him through the house yelling:)

Nodoka:  BURGLAR!  CATCH THE BURGLAR!!!

(Ranma flees right past Soun, Genma, Ukyou-kun and Akane who are in the living room, out across the porch, and across the yard, with Nodoka in hot pursuit.)


Ranma:  I'm not a burglar!  Really!

Nodoka: Liar!  (They run off into the sunset)

***************************

(It is night.  Nabiki is staring out the window into the rain.  She is in her pajamas:  blue with little yellow yen signs all over them.)

Nabiki:  This night looks like I feel...and Ranma is still out there in it, somewhere.  I guess he must be worried about his mom spotting him if he comes back too early.  I'll just wait a few more minutes. (yawns.  We see the wall clock.  It says 2:03 AM)
...so I can give him a good chewing out for getting me in trouble, of course...(yawns again)...barbarian  (dozes off.)

*****************************

(Nabiki's alarm goes off.  It is 6:30 AM.  She snaps awake.  The window has been closed, and she is now in bed, although she doesn't remember getting into it.  There are some flowers in a vase on the bed table by the head of her bed that were not there la
st night.  And a card--which is soggy and crumpled.)

(Nabiki sits up.)

Nabiki:  Eh?  How'd I get into bed?

(She turns, sees the card, and opens it.)

The card: (A simple folded piece of cardstock, badly written)  Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman  (it is unsigned).

(Nabiki starts crying again, but they are not so sad as the tears we saw before.)

*******************************

(Scene cuts to the dressing room at the Ice skating rink. Ranma and Mikado are getting suited up in their ice skating outfits.)

Mikado:  What sort of flowers would you like to be sent to you in the hospital?

Ranma:  I don't think I'll be the one seeing a doctor after this.

Mikado:  I promise you that tonight I shall steal the lips of the beautiful Kuonji Ukyou!

Ranma:  In your dreams!

Mikado:  You cannot stop me!  Ha HA HA HA HA! You don't even know how to skate!  I've seen you in action.  (falls over laughing)

Ranma:  Hmph.

*********************************

(We see the Tendo family and the Saotomes in the stands at the ice skating rink.  The match will soon begin.  There is quite a crowd here.  Akane keeps looking around nervously.)

Soun:  Is something wrong, daughter?

Akane:  Ryouga isn't here yet. 

(We briefly cut to an image of Ryouga.  He is standing in the Tendo dojo practice room.)

Ryouga:  Where is everyone?  

(Cut back to the Rink.)

Nabiki:  Maybe he decided he wasn't interested in seeing such a one-sided battle.  Although he doesn't like Ranma much, so I would think he'd like to see him and Ukyou lose.

Soun:  Nabiki....(warning tone)

Nodoka:  I have confidence in my son and his fian...Ukyou's abilities.

(Akane's eyes suddenly open wide)

Akane:  Uh oh.

Nabiki:  Eh?

Akane:  I...have to go to the bathroom.  Come with me, Nabiki.

Nabiki:  But I... (Akane stares at her intently)   Good idea.

(They depart.  Once out of earshot of Nodoka)

Akane:  Those two idiots forgot that Mrs. Saotome was going to be here.  If they go out as themselves...

Nabiki:  They'll blow their cover for sure!  Aaargh.  But if they look right for Mrs. Saotome, they won't look right to Mikado and Azusa!

Akane:  Oh, boy.  

**************************

(The match is about to begin.  The golden pair is on one side of the rink, Ranma and Ukyou on the other.  Akane is sitting nervously up in the stands.  Nabiki is nowhere to be seen.  As the announcer speaks, we see fog start to drift onto the rink.  )

Announcer:  Let the duel of honor begin!  The Golden Pair of Kolkohz High vs. Saotome Ranma and Kuonji Ukyou of Furinkan High!

(We see that Ranma has untied his pony-tail and put on one of Ukyou's bandanas...and Ukyou has dyed her hair red and tied it back in a Ranma-style pony-tail.  It seems Nabiki and Akane must have talked to them.)

Ranma:  Let's go!  (He takes off skating full tilt towards the Golden Pair, pulling Ukyou along with him.  

Azusa:  (still wearing the scarf she stole from Ukyou and staring at the bandana Ranma is wearing.)  Marcel!  (As the couples come at each other, she tries to grab for it.  Ranma swings Ukyou (on his right) to strike Mikado, who simply grabs her and lets 
the impact send him skating backwards while Azusa collides with Ranma.  The two couples spin about briefly, then Ukyou wrestles loose.  The fog is getting worse.)

Nodoka:  Where is all this fog coming from?  I can hardly see anything...

Akane:  That's too bad.  (Thought)  That's the idea.

(We see Nabiki in front of one of the air conditioning vents shoveling dry ice into the air conditioning system.)

Nabiki:  Ranma's going to pay for this.  This stuff isn't cheap.

(The two couples separate, turn through the fog, and try to circle around.  Ranma leads another full tilt charge.)

Ukyou:  This may not be...

(The rink wall suddenly looms before them)

Ukyou:  Safe.

(They zoom up the rink wall and into the air.  Ranma twists himself so that he takes the brunt of the impact when they land.)

Ukyou:  Ranchan!

Ranma:  It only hurts when I...breathe.

(Ranma staggers to his feet)

Ukyou:  Can you go on?

(somewhere in the fog)

Mikado:  Ukyou, I am coming for your lips!

Ranma:  Gotta...kill Mikado...

(He skates on.  The couples come at each other again.  This time Ranma does a lift on Ukyou, who kicks Mikado and Azusa as they crash through the middle of them.  But Mikado grabs onto her and skates off with her.)

Mikado:  Ah, lovely one.  Long have we both awaited this moment  (Ukyou sticks a spatula in his mouth) wher d sxauxd cyxx sdkj.

(Azusa is chasing Ranma trying to grab his bandana.  He skates past her and grabs the scarf.  She unwinds like a top and spins out of sight.  He sees Mikado, and kicks him in the butt as he goes by.  Mikado yelps and throws Ukyou in the air.  Ranma manage
s to catch her, then he slips and slides out of control across the rink into the spinning Azusa, who he bounces off and falls down.  He and Ukyou are starting to get up when he realizes that Azusa has grabbed his feet)

Ranma:  Hey!  (He now sees that Mikado has circled back and is lifting Azusa, thus pulling his feet into the air.  Ukyou is playing tug of war with Ranma.)

Ukyou:  Let Go!

Mikado:  Too late.  (He starts spinning, pulling Ranma and Ukyou into the air, with Azusa sitting on his shoulders.  He is twirling Ranma and Ukyou through the air as they desperately cling to each other.  )

Announcer: Yes, it's the dreaded Couple cleaver!  The longer they cling to each other, the more it will hurt when he lets go!  The Golden Pair has never failed to break up a couple with this one!

(The fog is swirling into a big maelstrom from this move.  The audience can only briefly see the fight as the fog swirls thicker and thinner.)

Mikado:  Give it up, Saotome!  The longer you hold her, the worse it will be when you have to let go!  

Ranma:  I'll never let her go!

Mikado:  That's what they all say!  Ha Ha HA HA!

(This spinning goes on for quite some time, when Azusa suddenly spots the scarf which Ranma stole back from her.  She grabs it with one hand, and Ranma slips out of the other.)

Azusa:  My darling Jean-Michel!

(Ranma goes flying across the rink with Ukyou.  He tumbles to take the impact for her.  They hit and he lies very still.)

Ukyou:  You should have let me take the blow.  You've already hurt yourself for me once tonight.

Ranma:  Couldn't let..them..hurt you...Ucchan...

Ukyou:  Oh, Ranchan...(Hugs him)  I just... (Mikado skates by and grabs her)  Hey!

Ranma:  (staggers to feet)  I'm coming!  (He staggers after her and Mikado)

Nabiki:  He just doesn't quit...He's going to kill himself trying to save that bimbo.

(We can see that the ice has cracked a little.)

Mikado:  Now I shall steal your lips...(Leans in close to Ukyou, who turns her head so he gets a mouthful of ponytail instead.  He gags.  Then she breaks away from him and goes wandering into the fog. )

Ranma:  I'm coming, Ucchan!  (He skates faster and collides with Ukyou.  They go gliding off in a tangled heap across the rink, crash into Azusa, who is standing around stroking her scarf.)

Azusa:  Aah!  (goes flying off,  Mikado comes zipping around and saves her from a wall collision.  They turn and zoom through the mist towards Ranma and Ukyou.  The crack in the ice is getting worse.)  

(Brief cut to Ryouga wandering the streets.  We can see the rink off in the distance, but Ryouga isn't quite going the right way...)

Ryouga:  Akane!  Akane!  Where are you?  Where is that stupid fight of Ranma's that she's supposed to be watching?

(Back at the rink, Akane sneezes)

Akane:  (thought)  Someone must be thinking of me.

Soun:  Does anyone know what happened to Nabiki?

Akane:  I thought she went to get us some food.

Genma:  I'll go see if I can find her.

Soun:  Thank you.

Genma:  (thought)  I'll get first shot at the food!

(The match continues.  As the couples skate about and batter each other, the cracks are getting worse.  Up on the skylight roof of the Rink...)

(Ryouga is standing on the roof, looking around.  )

Ryouga:  Where is that rink, anyway?  (the glass is cracking under his feet)

Ryouga:  What's that noise?  (The roof breaks under him.  he plummets.  Seeing the ground, he extends his umbrella in front of him, hoping to break through the ice before he hits it.)

Ranma:  What the?

Announcer:  And another challenger enters the rink!

(Ryouga crashes through the ice, which now breaks into large floating chunks...)

Akane:  Ryouga!  (She starts running down to the rink.)

Nabiki:  Ranma and Ukyou!  The ...

(Water splashes everywhere.  Including on Ranma and Ukyou, who transform to their cursed selves.  )

Ukyou-kun:  If it wasn't for this fog...

Ranma-chan:  You'd look pretty silly.

Ukyou-kun:  What about me?

Ranma-chan:  I dress like this in this form normally, anyway...

Ukyou-kun:  We've got to slip off and change!

Ranma-chan:  Where?

(Ukyou points to the men's and women's dressing rooms just past the Rink entrance.  The two of them try to sneak over there.  The mist parts briefly, and the crowd roars with laughter.  Part of the crowd stands up for a better look, blocking Nodoka's view
 of events...)

Crowd:  Bwah ha ha!  Look at that guy in a women's dress!   So what's this..the comedy interlude?  Transvestite!

(Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun sprint into the dressing rooms, where the Furinkan Home Ec club helps them change outfits.  They skate out as the Golden Pair finally figure out where they've gone.  The GP stare in confusion.)

Mikado:  Who are you?

Ranma-chan:  Ukyou and Ranma, silly.  We just changed outfits for the second act.

Mikado:  Second act?

Ranma-chan:  Don't you know anything about Martial Skating?  Go change your costumes!

Azusa:  New Costumes for Azusa!  Oh joy!  (She drags Mikado off to the dressing room while Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun get their wind back.  The ice chunks are starting to float about and collide.  Akane is standing at the edge of the rink.)

Akane:  Ryouga?  Where are you?

(We see Ryouga crawl up out of the water.  He is looking pretty chilled.  He starts staggering towards Ranma-chan on the ice.)

Ranma-chan:  Ryouga?

Ryouga:  I'm going to get you for this, Saotome!

Ranma-chan:  For what?

Ryouga:  You moved the competition without telling me!  I've been looking for you for hours!

Ranma-chan:  Where did you think it would be?

Ryouga:  At the dojo, of course!

Ranma-chan:  Ice-skating?

Ryouga:  I thought you'd set up a rink at the dojo or something...no one told me it would be somewhere else...

(Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun face-fault, then fall down.  Mikado and Azusa come out.  They are in spectacular new costumes...looks like the Home Ecers helped them too.)

Azusa:  (stares at Ryouga's bandana)  Jean-Luc!  (She charges, leaping floe to floe, dragging Mikado behind her.)

Mikado:  We're not here to collect cute things!

Ryouga:  My name isn't Jean-Luc.

Ranma-chan:  I think she's after...(like a whirlwind, the Golden pair goes by...Azusa grabs Ryouga's bandanas, and bandana after bandana comes off his head...he spins like a top, starting to drill a hole in the ice.  Ranma-chan grabs the bandana chain and
 holds on.  Azusa jerks to a stop and falls off her feet.  Then Ranma-chan and Ukyou close in for the attack.  Azusa gets up, dragging Ryouga behind her at the end of a chain of bandanas.)

Mikado:  Spin attack.  (He lifts Azusa and spins her, sending Ryouga whirling around them like a mace and chain.  Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun pull away, narrowly avoiding collision.)

Ukyou-kun:  That's easily dealt with.  (He pulls out a spatula, and throws it---it cuts through one bandana, sending Ryouga flying.  Then he and Ranma-chan attack while the GP is still spinning.  Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun slip, and go sliding into the Gold
en Pair.)

Mikado:  Idiots!

(They all go sliding off the ice into the water...where we learn...)

Mikado:  I can't swim!  (flails about)

Azusa:  Jean-Luc!  (swims about, easily gathering up all the bandanas)

(Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun pull Mikado, who has turned blue from the cold out of the water.  A stretcher crew hauls him away.  Azusa swims off with her Jean-Luc.  Ryouga staggers to his feet, chasing after her.)

Ryouga:  Bring back my bandanas!

Azusa:  Jean-Luc one and Jean-Luc two, and ...

*******************************

(It is celebration party time at the Tendo dojo.  Kasumi has baked a cake and decorations are everywhere.  Everyone is in a festive mood and is eating like pigs.)

(Nodoka hugs Ukyou-kun)

Nodoka:  You fought well, my son.

Ukyou-kun:  Thanks.  (looks a little embarrassed.)

Soun:  Nabiki should have believed in you.  I knew you two would win.

Ranma-chan:  Where is Nabiki?  (Nabiki is the only resident of the house not there.  Even Ryouga managed to find his way there.)

Ukyou-kun:  What are you talking about, Mr. Tendo?

(Ranma-chan heads up the stairs.)

Soun:  She made a bet against you and Ra...Ukyou.  

Nodoka:  We were really disappointed, but we couldn't get her to back down.  She must be too embarrassed to come down.

(Upstairs, Ranma-chan knocks on Nabiki's door.)

Ranma-chan:  Can I come in?

Nabiki:  You're here to gloat, aren't you.

Ranma-chan:  Huh?

Nabiki: (opens door)  You won.  I was wrong.  I admit it.  I should have believed you could win...but you looked like you'd never learn how to skate well enough to go up against the Golden Pair.  I lost 10,000 yen on that bet.

Ranma-chan:  You bet against me?

Nabiki:  You didn't know?

Ranma-chan:  (swells up looking like she is about to explode)  You, you...

Nabiki:  I'm sorry.  

(Ranma-chan stares at Nabiki, and all the anger just flows out of her.)

Ranma-chan:  I..uh..well

Nabiki:  Thank you for the flowers.

Ranma-chan:  You..knew it was me?

Nabiki:  I recognized your handwriting.

Ranma-chan:  You did?

Nabiki:  It's...distinctive.  I knew only a barbarian could write like that. (smiles a little) 

Ranma-chan:  I'm not a barbarian.

Nabiki:  That's what they all say.  

Ranma-chan:  You'd better come down stairs before everyone gets too worried.

Nabiki:  I guess so.  Time to go put on my happy face.

Ranma-chan:  I prefer your real one.

(Nabiki just stares at her as Ranma-chan turns to go   She follows Ranma-chan downstairs.)

******************************
(End Part 3)


(Part 4)

(Everyone is partying downstairs.  Even Nabiki has gotten into the spirit of things.  Genma and Soun have had too much sake and are singing travelling songs in the corner.  Nodoka is in the kitchen, getting more food.  Nabiki is trying to teach Ukyou-kun,
 Ranma-chan, Akane, and Ryouga to dance on the table.  Kasumi is taking the dance lesson, but she is not on the table)

Nabiki:  Now everyone step to the left three times, then right twice.

(Everyone does so.  Ranma-chan steps on the underfoot P-chan, who squeals and leaps into Akane's arms.  She is surprised and falls on Ryouga.  Ranma-chan has slipped and falls on Ukyou-kun.  They all laugh, get up, and then something breaks through the wa
ll.)

Shampoo:  (It is indeed the lovely Shampoo, sword in hand coming through the wall.)  Ranma!  Die!  

Ukyou-kun:  No.  Not her.  Not now.

(Ranma-chan dives out of sight under the table)

(Shampoo looks around and sees Ukyou-kun.  Just as Nodoka enters, Shampoo leaps into Ukyou-kun's arms.)

Shampoo:  Ukyou my love!

(Nodoka stares at Shampoo and Ukyou.)

Ukyou-kun:  I...I'm not Ukyou, I'm Ranma!

(Shampoo looks down Ukyou's shirt.)

Shampoo:  Are not!  Ranma is woman!  Must kill Ranma.

Nodoka:  But this is my son, Ranma.

Shampoo:  You named Ranma too?

Ukyou-kun:  Yes.

Shampoo:  Okay.  Must only kill female Ranma.

Nabiki:  There is no female Ranma.

Shampoo:  (to Genma)  Who was red head girl with you?

Genma:  Ukyou.

Shampoo:  Shampoo confused.  Japanese not know own names in village then.

Nodoka:  Why do you want to kill Ukyou?

Shampoo:  Not want to kill Ukyou...oh, that Ukyou.  (to Ukyou-kun)  Is Darling sure he is not Ukyou?

Ukyou-kun (looks nervous.  A bead of sweat runs down his forehead)  Quite sure.

(Nodoka is scratching her head)

Shampoo:  You still Genma or you change your name too?

Genma:  Yes.  I am Saotome Genma.  

Shampoo:  Okay.  (She pulls out a book and tosses it to Nodoka)  Read village rules.  You understand.

Nodoka:  I can't read this.  This is Chinese.

Nabiki:  Let me see it.  (While she reads, Shampoo is fondling Ukyou-kun, who is turning increasingly red)  "If an outsider woman defeats a woman of the village of the amazons, she must give the outsider the kiss of death and hunt her down and kill her."

(Ranma-chan flinches under the table)

Nabiki:  "If an amazon loses to an outsider male, she must marry him."  So I guess there was a fight or two?

Genma:  Well, there was a misunderstanding.

Ukyou-kun:  You could say that...(Ranma-chan crawls out of the room.)
Ra...Ukyou beat Shampoo in a contest after she and ...dad ate the first prize in it, so Shampoo started hunting us to kill her.  Then one day, I beat her when she came after R..Ukyou, so she decided she had to marry me.

Nodoka:  How did she get your names confused?

Ukyou-kun:  Uh, well...

Genma:  Her japanese isn't very good.  I guess she misunderstood.

Shampoo:  Shampoo like her husband, whatever his name is.

Soun:  You can't marry Ranma!  He's engaged to my daughter Nabiki!

Shampoo:  Shampoo had him first!

Nabiki:  (trying not to laugh)  I think they make a cute couple.

Ukyou-kun:  Nabiki!

*****************************

(It is night.  Ranma is on the roof of a building near the dojo watching it under a starry sky.  He looks sad.  )

Ranma:  Doomed.  I'm doomed.  I can't go home in either form now...If Mom finds me like this, I'm dead.  If Shampoo finds me as a girl, I'm dead...or I'll have to kill her to stop her.

(Ranma is surprised by a voice from behind him.)

Ukyou:  I think this is our cue to leave.

Ranma:  Leave?

Ukyou:  We can't keep this up forever.  Sooner or later your mom is going to find out, or Shampoo will catch you in your sleep, and then a lot of people are going to get hurt.  I want to go somewhere we don't have to lie to anyone about who we are.  

Ranma:  I can't just run out on my responsibilities....

Ukyou:  Responsibilities to who?  Nabiki doesn't want to be engaged to you.  Your mother thinks I'm her son, not you.  And your father was a fool to get us into this problem in the first place.

Ranma:  I just...running away isn't my style.

Ukyou:  (sits down next to him, puts an arm around his shoulder.  He puts an arm around her waist)  I can't think of any other solution.  We could take the yatai.  It's supposed to be my dowry anyway.  Between it, our cooking skills, and our martial arts 
skills, we could do pretty well for ourselves.  And ...

Ranma: (looks at her, waiting) ...

Ukyou:  I love you, Ranma.  I want to be with you forever.  And I want to love you as myself, not someone else.

Ranma:  I...just...I want to...I don't want them to worry and ... I don't want to have to hide from my family forever...either way, I have to hide...I don't know what is the solution.  But I don't know where to sleep tonight if I do stick around.

Ukyou:  Where is Ryouga staying?

Ranma:  He just camps wherever he ends up...just like we used to...guess I'm getting soft.

Ukyou:  Beds do seem to grow on you after a while...Now that's an idea!

Ranma:  What's an idea?

Ukyou:  We could get da...you...Ge...oh heck, I might as well call him dad, to take us on a short camping/training trip...you, me, Akane, maybe Ryouga.  That way we could get away from the house for a while and just be ourselves.  And if Shampoo comes aft
er us, she'll never find the Ranma and Ukyou she's looking for.  And with Akane and Ryouga along, no one will worry that we're planning to just head for the hills.

Ranma:  Good idea, but what about tonight?

Ukyou:  Find some cold water, and we'll see if one of Akane's friends can put you up for the night.

**********************

(We see Ranma at the door of the dojo.  It is morning.  He knocks and waits for someone to answer the door.)

(The door opens.  Nodoka is standing there in an apron.  She stares at him for a moment.)

Nodoka:  Do I know you?

Ranma:  Uh, well, I've been here a few times....my name is Yamada Shinobu.  I'm one of Nabiki's friends.

Nodoka:  Oh, I remember you now...I was just worried because for a moment I mistook you for a burglar I ran out of here a while ago.

Ranma:  (sweats a little)  ...

Nodoka:  Come in.  (They enter the dining room.  Everyone is snarfing down breakfast.  Shampoo is here, hanging on Ukyou-kun who looks ready to die.  She looks up at Ranma, a little surprised to see him).

Nabiki:  Hello, Shinobu.  

Ranma:  Hello, Nabiki.  Mind if I walk to school with you this morning?  And who's the lovely lady I see Ranma with?  (Ranma is trying not to either sweat or laugh)

Shampoo:  I Shampoo, Ranma's fiancee.

(Ukyou-kun sweats some more and glares at Ranma)

Shampoo:  Know where Ukyou is, Shinobu?

Ranma:  Nope.  

Genma:  Nodoka, dear.

Nodoka:  Yes, my darling husband?

Genma:  I was thinking of taking a short training trip this weekend with Ranma, and Ukyou, and maybe Akane and Ryouga if they would like to go.  

Akane:  That would be great.  Father tells me you are a good teacher.

Soun:  Unlike our master.  (Soun and Genma shiver)

Nodoka:  Happosai?

Genma:  (claps his hand over her mouth)  Don't say his name.  He might hear it and come.

Nabiki:  He sounds like some kind of demon.

Soun:  More than sounds like...he is possessed of an evil spirit.

Nodoka:  Don't be gone too long on the trip.  (leans over to Genma)  I miss you when you are gone.

Shampoo:  If Ranma go, I go!

(Ranma and Ukyou-kun both freeze up)  

Nabiki:  (thought)  Of course those idiots didn't think of that....looks like they wanted some time away from Shampoo...time for me to save their bacon.

Nabiki: (spoken)  Shampoo, if you're going to marry Ranma, you had better buy a wedding dress.  If you stay here, I can take you shopping for one this weekend.

Shampoo:  Good idea.  Didn't bring much clothing.

Nabiki:  Come on, Shinobu.  We need to be getting to school.  (drags him out.)  (Once they are outside) You owe me.

Ranma:  Yes.  

Nabiki:  Just remember that this weekend.  

Ranma: ...

*******************************

(We see Akane, Ryouga, Ranma, Ukyou, and Genma somewhere deep in a forest in a hilly area.  They have a pair of four man tents set up.  Genma is watching as Ryouga spars with Ranma and Ukyou spars with Akane.  The yatai is set up nearby.)

(Ryouga lunges at Ranma with his umbrella.  Ranma parries it aside with one arm, then swings around and back kicks Ryouga.)

Genma:  Nice move.  Sit down, you two so I can focus on Akane and Ukyou's fight for a while.

(Ryouga and Ranma lay down in the grass and stare at the sky.  They are both sweating.  They have obviously had quite a work out.  )

Ryouga:  They're really good.

Ranma:  I know.  

Ryouga:  Ranma, what do you ...well, I mean...she...Akane...I...she's so...

Ranma:  You really like her, don't you.

Ryouga:  Yes.

Ranma:  But she likes to assert that she hates men.

Ryouga:  Yes.

Ranma:  So what are you going to do about it?

Ryouga:  I don't know what to do.  Do you think she likes me?

Ranma:  She doesn't hate you.

Ryouga:  That's not enough for me...

Ranma:  She never insults you or tells you to go away.  That's a good sign, I think.

Ryouga:  I would tell her how I feel, but I am so afraid that she doesn't feel the same.

Ranma:  We fight a lot, but you two never fight.  I think you may have a chance.

Ryouga:  Thank you.

Ranma:  Now if you were as handsome as me, I'd say it was guaranteed, but...

(Ryouga rolls his eyes)

Ryouga:  I don't look as good in a dress as you, either, "Ukyou".

Ranma:  Hmmph.

***************************

(A little later, everyone is lying around wiped out except Genma.)

Genma:  I'm hungry.

Ukyou:  I'm too tired to cook.

Ryouga:  I'm too tired to eat.

Ranma:  I'm too tired to be alive.

Akane:  I'll cook us something.  (starts to get up.)

Genma:  (eyes wide with fear)  No...no...I...I'll cook.  I love to cook!  (starts to laugh a little maniacally)  Cook, cook, cook!  Ha Ha!  (He starts making okonomiyaki.  Too bad he's mixing just about everything in the food storage area into the batter 
in his frenzy....)

********************************************

(Everyone is lying around sick now.  Even Genma is turning green.)

Genma:  I feel like I'm going to die.

Akane:  Oh, that was awful.  How did you three survive this man's cooking for ten years?  (She writhes in nausea)

Ranma:  We should have let Akane cook...

Akane:  Thank you, Ranma.

Ranma:  At least then we would have expected to be poisoned...

(Akane hits him in the head with a nearby tree branch.)

************************************

(We see Ranma sparring with Ukyou while Genma watches and comments.  Ryouga is sitting nearby staring off into space.  Akane is sitting near him.)

Genma:  You've got to fight harder, Ranma!

Ranma:  I just can't bring myself to go all out against a girl.  (Ukyou takes a swipe at him with her giant spatula.)

Ukyou:  (Bonks Ranma in the head.)  I on the other hand have no such problem.

Ranma:  I'm not a girl!

Ukyou:  I'm not fragile.  You should know that by now.

Ranma:  I just...

Ukyou:  Come on!  Give me all you've got!  (He leaps at her and delivers a hail of blows.  She blocks most of them, but a few get through and send her flying.)  That's better.  Oww.  (She is bleeding a little.)

Ranma:  (runs over to her)  Are you okay?

Ukyou:  (Scoops him up with her spatula and flings him into a nearby stream.)  Just fine.

(Splash!)

Ranma-chan:  AAARGH!  Now I've got to heat up some water!

(Ukyou giggles.)

Ranma-chan:  (scoops water up in her hands)  I'll get you!  (They chase each other off into the forest.)

Akane: What are you thinking about Ryouga?

Ryouga: ...

Akane:  Hello?

Ryouga:  Akane...

Akane: Yes. 

(Ryouga snaps out of it)  

Ryouga:  Yes, what, I...did you say something?

Akane:  What are you thinking about?

Ryouga:  How beautiful the forest is tonight..and...and...

Akane:  And?

Ryouga:  How beautiful..beautiful..y...yu...

Akane:  (looks puzzled)  Are you okay, Ryouga? You sound like you're choking.

Ryouga:  Fine.  I just wanted to say...well.

Akane:  ...

Ryouga:  You look...you look...very uh well, er...

Akane:  ...

Ryouga:  You look good tonight.  (Sighs with relief at getting something out.)

Akane:  Why thank you, Ryouga!  I've been contemplating cutting my hair.  I kept it long in the hopes that...well it was for someone else's benefit, but I don't think he cares...

Ryouga:  Who?  (thought) [ Who is this man she guides her appearance by?]

Akane:  It's not important.  I gave up on him even though it was hard to do.  He was the only guy I liked besides my dad.

(Ryouga looks crushed.)

Ryouga:  I...you...

Akane:  (looks at Ryouga)  Oh, that was before I met you, Ryouga.

(He perks up)

Akane:  You're the nicest guy I know.  Ranma is okay sometimes, but we don't always get along.  You always try to help me and support me.  I really appreciate it.  (Hugs him)

(Ryouga's eyes glaze over.  He is lost in joy.)

Akane:  Now if I just understood why you go into trances all the time...

****************************

(It is the middle of the night.  Ranma is up in a tree looking up at the stars.  Ukyou, Genma, and Ryouga are camped out under blankets near the tree.  Ranma suddenly realizes Akane is missing.)

Ranma:  Where'd she go?  

(He sees Akane coming back out of the forest in her pajamas.  Ranma smiles a bit...Akane is the only one of them who wears pajamas while camping.)

Ranma:  Where'd you go?

Akane:  Nature called.  (yawns)

Akane:  Ranma?

Ranma:  Eh?

Akane:  Why are you up in the tree instead of sleeping?

Ranma:  Thinking about the future.

Akane:  Me too.

Ranma:  Really?

Akane:  Yeah.  

Ranma:  This trip has been so nice.  Just to be myself.  No hidden identities.  No lies.  No crazed chinese women waiting to attack me.  No Nabiki to call me an idiot.  Ukyou thinks the two of us should just skip out together.  I don't really want to go b
ack, except that Mom would worry and...

Akane:  And?

Ranma:  And I don't want to end my engagement to Nabiki by just running away from her.  Even though I think it would make both of us happier.  It just doesn't seem right.

Akane:  Dad would be furious.

Ranma:  Pop really outdid himself getting us stuck in this situation. 

Akane:  Yeah.  Do you know why Ryouga has these trances all the time?

Ranma:  He wouldn't appreciate me talking about it.  He'll tell you when he gets up the courage.

Akane:  Courage?

Ranma:  He..He's afraid of what your reaction would be.

Akane:  Really?

Ranma:  He treasures your opinion very highly.  

Akane:  He's important to me too.  (smiles a little as she watches Ryouga sleeping)

(She looks up and sees Ranma looking down at the sleeping Ukyou and smiling.)

Akane:  I wish someone would smile at me like that.

Ranma: ... (thinks)  [Some people just don't get it.]

Ranma:  (spoken)  Love is closer than you realize.

Akane:  You're not talking about Kunou are you?

Ranma:  (face-faults and falls out of the tree) 

****************************************************

(The camping crew is now on their way home to the dojo.  They can see it far down the street.  Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun have already prepared themselves to play their roles.  Ranma-chan looks around because she hears a noise.)

Voice:  Nihow!  (A bicycle drops from the sky ridden by Shampoo.  She lands on poor Ukyou-kun, pinning him to the ground.)  

Shampoo:  Hi, Ranma darling!

Ukyou-kun: He..llo..Sham..poo.  (Gets up from under bike.  Shampoo flings herself on him.  Ranma-chan glares.  Ukyou-kun sweats.  Akane smirks.  Genma looks concerned.Ryouga stares. )

Ryouga:  Eh?  That's...(Akane grabs Ryouga from behind, covers his mouth, then whispers in his ear.)

Akane:  Shampoo doesn't know about that.  She thinks Ukyou-kun is Ranma and has to marry her.

Ryouga:  (Thought)  [To be held by Akane is such bliss!]  (Starts to drift off.  Akane shakes him back to reality.)

Shampoo:  I have nice wedding dress now!  (Ranma-chan tries to pull her off Ukyou-kun)  As soon as I kill Ukyou, we can be married!

Ukyou-kun:  I can't let you kill her!

Shampoo:  Okay.  Marriage first, then I kill her.  (Ranma-chan just can't get Shampoo off Ukyou, who is sweating really heavily now.)

Ryouga:  How did you two get engaged?

Shampoo:  He won fight.  I must marry him.  She won fight.  I must kill her.

Ryouga:  Uh, right.

(By now they are at the front door.  Kasumi and Nodoka come out.)

Nodoka:  Enjoy your trip?

Kasumi:  I see Shampoo found you.  She's been waiting for you for hours, Ranma.

Ukyou-kun:  I see.

Ranma-chan: Let go of my fiancee!

Shampoo:  My fiancee!  (starts trying to kiss Ukyou-kun, who passes out from stress.)

Nodoka:  Ranma!  (Lifts Shampoo off Ukyou-kun and carries him inside.)  My baby!

(Ranma-chan and Shampoo look at each other, look at Nodoka, then scratch their heads.)

Shampoo:  How she do that?

Ranma-chan:  I have no idea at all.

*************************

(We see Nodoka and Genma in their room with Ukyou-kun.  Ukyou-kun looks a little uncomfortable.)

Nodoka:  I think the time has come for us to straighten out this engagement business once and for all.  I got to talk to Shampoo about her engagement to you, Ranma, while you were gone on your training trip.

(Ukyou-kun's eyes bulge out.  Genma looks nervous.)

Nodoka:  So far, you've managed to get three engagements.  We must take action before you get any more.

Ukyou-kun:  Uh, yes.  What exactly did Shampoo tell you?

Nodoka:  Did you and Ukyou really go by each other's names in her village?

Ukyou-kun:  Uh, well, she just misunderstood.

Genma:  Her Japanese isn't very good, and I introduced them at the same time...

Nodoka:  She seems like a nice girl, but I can't condone her wanting to kill Ukyou.  She doesn't deserve murder.

Ukyou-kun:  Certainly not.

Nodoka:  So I really feel I must disqualify her.

(Ukyou-kun breathes a sigh of relief.  So does Genma.)

Nodoka:  That leaves us with Nabiki and Ukyou.  Our family honor demands that we accept the engagement to Nabiki...

(Ukyou-kun winces.)

Nodoka:  Except that the engagement to Ukyou predates it, in a certain sense.  Why did you make such an engagement when you knew that you and Soun had already agreed long before that to engage Ranma to one of Soun's daughters?

Genma:  Umm, well, I , well, she...uh...

Ukyou-kun:  He got hungry...

Nodoka:  Yes, I know that.  I just can't quite believe my husband could be that foolish.

Ukyou-kun:  Believe it.

Nodoka:  You should be more respectful to your father, Ranma.

Ukyou-kun:  He's not...yes, Mom.  (sigh)

Genma:  I just don't know what to do about his.

Ukyou-kun:  If you thought ahead more often, we wouldn't have all these problems.  Like that stupid training-trip to...(Catches himself)

Nodoka:  I don't think I've heard this story.

Genma:  Sh..He's just referring to our recent trip to China, which resulted in this business with Shampoo.

Nodoka:  Ohh.  So you have two equally valid engagements.  So which one do you prefer?

Ukyou-kun:  Ra...Ukyou.

(Nodoka blinks.)

Genma:  But I can't tell Tendo-kun that Ranma can't marry his daughter!

Ukyou-kun:  But Ukyou and I want to get married.  And Nabiki isn't interested in this engagement.

Genma:  My honor demands I stand by the engagement.

Ukyou-kun:  What about you engaging me to ...Ukyou?

Genma:  Well, I...

Ukyou-kun:  We've expected to marry each other our entire lives!

Genma:  (Visibly shrinks)  I...

Ukyou-kun:  I am not marrying Nabiki!  Not!  Not! NOT!

(The door flies open.  Nabiki, Ranma-chan, Kasumi, Akane, and Ryouga fall inward as Soun storms into the room.  It looks like they were all listening at the door.  )

Soun:  You must marry my daughter!  It has been agreed upon by both Genma and myself!

Ukyou-kun:  I was engaged to R...Ukyou before you ever engaged me to Nabiki!

Nabiki:  I don't want to marry him either.

Soun:  It has already been decided!  (looks to Genma)  Right?

Genma:  I cannot deny Ranma's engagement to Nabiki...

(Soun beams.  Ukyou-kun looks ready to explode.)

Genma:  ...Or his engagement to Ukyou.

(Soun looks irritated).

Genma:  I don't know what to do...

Ranma-chan:  Well, Nabiki doesn't want to marry Ranma anyway.  But ...I do.

Soun:  It doesn't matter!  One of my daughters is marrying Ranma!  We already decided on Nabiki.

(Ukyou-kun goes over to Ranma.  Nabiki turns and looks at her father.)

Nabiki:  I am not marrying Ranma.  Even if I wanted to...

(Everyone blinks at that, a little confused.)

Nabiki:  They love each other.  I won't stand in their way.

(Soun is red and gigantic.)  

Soun:  Betrayed by my own daughter!  

(Nabiki cringes just a bit.  Then she straightens up.)

Nabiki:  You can't make me marry him!  I won't do it!

Soun:  You will do what I tell you!

Nabiki:  You can't make me!

Soun:  You are my daughter and you will obey me!

Nabiki:  Ranma, do you have any interest in marrying me at all?

Ukyou-kun and Ranma-chan:  No!

(Nodoka stares at them.  Ranma-chan blushes a bit.  Ukyou-kun edges closer to explosion.)

Nabiki:  So how do you propose to order Ranma to marry me, father?
 
Soun: I...er...Ranma has to!  His father wants him to marry you!  (He looks over at Genma.)  Right, Saotome-kun?

Genma:  (who was trying to sneak out.)  Er..uh...(Looks back and forth between Ranma-chan, Ukyou-kun, and Nabiki)  I think I left something in the kitchen...(turns and prepares to bolt for the door.)

(Soun grabs Genma)

Soun:  You have to order Ranma to marry Nabiki or we'll never see our children get married!

Genma:  (pulls himself together)  I am sorry Ranma, but I did make a promise to Soun that you would marry one of his children.  Would it be better if you married Akane or Kasumi?

Ranma-chan:  I don't...

Ukyou-kun:  (interrupting her)  No, it would not.  I want to marry R..Ukyou!  

Genma:  Well, I'm afraid that...

Ukyou-kun: If you pressure me any more, I'm going to get a bucket of water and you can guess what I'll do with it...

Genma:  You wouldn't!  

Nodoka:  What are you talking about, Ranma?

Nabiki:  Shall I fetch you a bucket?  

Genma:  Er...uh...

Nodoka:  Is there something I should know about, husband of mine?

(At this point, the door flies open and Shampoo leaps across the room into Ukyou-kun's arma.)

Shampoo:  Ranma!  Ready to get married to Shampoo?

Ukyou-kun:  I have had enough!

(Everyone stares.  Ukyou-kun tosses Shampoo up through the ceiling, grabs Ranma-chan and takes off running!)

Soun:  Hey!

Ukyou-kun:  Thanks for raising us Saotome-san!  We'll come visit after all of Tendo-san's kids get married and it's safe!  (He sprints out the door)

Nodoka:  Ranma!  (Ranma-chan waves as Ukyou-kun carries her out the door.)

Ukyou-kun:  (to Ranma-chan)  Let's grab our stuff and get lost...I just can't take this any more.

Ranma-chan: I don't want to leave Mom like this....

(They sprint up the stairs...they can hear a horde of people following them.  They run into Ranma-chan's room and grab her stuff, then into Ukyou-kun's room...where Shampoo is waiting.  She grabs Ranma-chan and tosses her out the window, then leaps into U
kyou-kun's arms.  And the horde of Tendos, Saotomes, and whatnot is getting closer...)

Shampoo:  Shampoo ready to elope!

Ukyou-kun:  Go get your stuff and we'll leave.

Shampoo:  Okay!  (Jumps and runs out of the room.  The second she leaves, Soun bursts in the door, and Ukyou-kun leaps out the window.)

Soun:  Come back here!

Ukyou-kun:  See you later, Mr. Tendo!  (He sprints off roof to roof towards the far distant spot where the tossed Ranma-chan is falling to earth.  Soun, Genma, Ryouga, and Akane leap out the window pursuing Ukyou-kun and Ranma-chan.  Nodoka, Nabiki, and K
asumi crowd into the window to watch.)

Nodoka:  My son...

Kasumi:  I hope father doesn't injure himself jumping around on roofs like that.

Nabiki:  I never quite realized how determined he was about all this.

Nodoka:  Nabiki, can I ask you a question?

Nabiki:  Uh...I guess so.(turns to Nodoka)

Nodoka:  Did you refuse your father because you don't want to marry Ranma or because you didn't want to stand between Ranma and Ukyou?

Nabiki:  If I knew the answer to that question, I would tell you.  (She turns and stares out the window again.)

(Nodoka blinks.  Shampoo sprints up from outside the room and leaps out the window onto the rooftops, chasing after the others.)

Kasumi:  They'll be wanting something to eat when they get back.  Roof-hopping always makes them so hungry.  (She smiles and leaves Nodoka alone with Nabiki.)

**************

(Scene cuts to Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun fleeing across rooftops.  A ways behind them are Akane, Ryouga, Genma, and Soun.  Far behind them is Shampoo, trying to catch up.)

Soun:  Stop!  Ranma has to marry Nabiki!  

Ukyou-kun:  Only if you catch us!

Ranma-chan: Sorry, dad!  Maybe you should adopt Ryouga!  I can think of a Tendo he'd like to marry!

(Ryouga blushes.  Akane looks over at him.)

Akane:  Ryouga?

Ryouga:  I...Akane...  (He stops and stares at her.)

Akane:  Do you...I mean...would you...Is it?

Ryouga:  Akane-chan..

(They stop running.  We see them drawing closer together as the camera cuts to Soun and Genma still chasing Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun.  Shampoo is behind them, but catching up....)

Soun:  Get your son to stop running, Saotome-san!!

Genma:  Stop running, Ranma!  

Ranma-chan:  (Still being carried)  Okay.  I stopped!

(Ukyou-kun laughs.)

Ukyou-kun:  You'll get tired before I do, Saotome-san and Tendo-san!

(They run a while longer...slowly Genma and Soun are indeed falling behind.  In fact, Shampoo catches up and passes them. )

Ranma-chan:  Hurry!  Your "darling" is catching up with us.

Ukyou-kun:  Carrying you is tiring me out.

(Ranma-chan flips out of Ukyou-kun's arms and hefts Ukyou-kun.)

Ranma-chan:  I'll take care of it then.  (She picks up the pace.  Genma and Soun collapse exhausted.  But Shampoo just speeds up.)

Shampoo:  Darling husband!  Wait for Shampoo!

(They run roof to roof to roof until....)

Ranma-chan:  (looking back)  She's getting closer.

Ukyou-kun:  (looking forward)  We're running out of...

(Too late.  They sail off the roof.  They have come to the end of town and there are no more roofs to jump onto.  Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun go sailing into the air.  Shampoo jumps after them.  They crash land in a bunch of bushes, which knocks the wind out
 of them.)

Shampoo:  Shampoo not understand why wicked Ukyou did that.

Ukyou-kun:  I'm not wicked.

Shampoo:  Shampoo said wicked Ukyou, not wicked Ranma! Shampoo love Ranma.  Shampoo kill Ukyou!  (She draws a sword and leaps at Ranma-chan who backflips away.)

Ukyou-kun:  Don't kill Ranma!

Shampoo:  Shampoo wish her husband make up mind who is Ranma and who is Ukyou.  Shampoo kill her!  (points at Ranma-chan, who assumes a defensive posture.)

Ranma-chan: Whoever I am, I don't like fighting girls...so why don't you just go away?

Shampoo:  Shampoo not care who she fights!  And Shampoo is woman, not girl!  

(She charges and Ranma-chan leaps over her.  She spins and slashes at Ranma-chan, who barely evades her.  )

Ranma-chan:  Hmph.  Your funeral.

(She leads Shampoo back into the bushes, dodging blow after blow.  Then she leaps up into a tree.  Shampoo jumps up on the branch.  Ranma-chan leaps out of the tree as the branch breaks under the weight of the two of them, letting Shampoo fall to the grou
nd.  But Shampoo gets back up on her feet.)

Shampoo:  Shampoo think you good, but Shampoo better!

(She charges, Ranma-chan leaps, then Shampoo dodges to one side and kicks Ranma-chan as she comes down.  Ranma-chan goes flying.)

Ukyou-kun:  Stop it, Shampoo!

Ranma-chan:  Let me settle this, Ukyou.  She won't be satisfied any other way.

Shampoo:  Stop running and start fighting!

Ranma-chan:  I don't like to fight girls.

Shampoo:  You girl, me girl!  No problem!

Ranma-chan:  I am not a girl!

(Shampoo laughs)  

Shampoo:  You no boy!  (Takes a swing at Ranma-chan who easily dodges.)

Ranma-chan:  Get me some hot water, Ukyou!  

(Ukyou-kun heads over to the nearby house whose owner is confusedly watching the fight.)

(The fight goes on.  Ranma-chan is faster and more skillful, but Shampoo is stronger.  Eventually Ukyou-kun returns with a pot of hot water.  The house owner looks curious as to what Ukyou-kun is going to do with it.  He pours it on himself and Ranma-chan
.  They transform and Shampoo stares in shock.)

Shampoo:  You...really...boy...and you really girl?

Ranma:  Yes.  I am a boy...and she is a girl.  

Shampoo:  Must kill you (points to Ukyou) and marry you?  (points to Ranma)

Ranma:  Ahh...well....

Shampoo:  Shampoo confused.

(She starts crying.  Ranma stands and looks a little confused.  Ukyou goes over to her.)

Ukyou:  Don't cry.

Shampoo:  Shampoo have to kill you...(sob)

Ukyou:  No you don't.

Shampoo:  Is village law.  Must kill outsider woman who beats you in fight.

Ukyou:  But I wasn't a woman...I was a man.

Shampoo:  Can't marry you if you are woman.

Ukyou:  Why don't you just go home?

Shampoo:  Shampoo be shamed if she go home without husband.  All say Shampoo too weak to bring back husband.  And Shampoo already bought wedding dress.  No refund.

Ranma:  You didn't buy it from Nabiki did you?

Shampoo:  She show me store.

Ranma:  (sighs)  You'll never get your money back on that one.  Wonder what she spent it on?

Shampoo:  (crying again)  Shampoo not know what to do....

(Ranma and Ukyou stare at each other, obviously uncertain what to do either.)

Ranma:  Isn't there anyone in your village you'd like to marry?

Shampoo:  Our men too weak.  None of them beat Shampoo.  Shampoo no can marry, want or not.  You (points to Ukyou) only man ever beat Shampoo.  Shampoo not want be old maid.

(Ukyou blushes.)

Ukyou:  Wow, you're really good if none of the men in your village could beat you.  

Shampoo:  Mousse always try, but he not fight hard enough.  Always lose.  He weak.

Ranma:  Uh well, we're leaving town...I guess...if you want to travel with us for a while and look for another husband...I mean neither of us can marry you...but...

Shampoo:  So Shampoo not have to go home and be shamed?


Ranma:  Uh...yeah....embarrassment is really bad...I know that.

Shampoo:  Thank you, Ukyou!  (throws herself at Ranma in a big hug.)

Ranma:  Uh...I'm Ranma...that's Ukyou.

Shampoo:  Japanese people change names all the time?  Why always change your name?

Ranma:  Uh...well...whatever...

Ukyou:  Let me try and explain it to you.

(The threesome gets up and starts off down the road.)

****************

(Back at the Tendo dojo we see Soun lying on his bed.  He looks drained and despairing.  Genma sits nearby looking miserable.  Soun keeps repeating the same thing over and over.)

Soun:  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  Why?  You didn't stop him.  No...

(Nodoka comes in.)

Nodoka:  Do you want something to eat, Tendo-san?

Genma:  It would be good for you to eat.  You haven't eaten since this morning.

Soun:  ...marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  Why?  You didn't stop...

Nodoka:  I feel so sorry for him.

Genma:  I don't know if anything but Ranma coming back could snap him out of this.

Nodoka:  Unless you bring him back, he isn't coming back, I think.  I think he and Ukyou really won't be back until they get married or Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi do.

Soun:  ...him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  Why? You didn't stop him.  No...

Genma:  How can I find them...  Even if I do find them, I don't know if I could persuade them to come back.  My own son run away....(His voice trails off.  He looks sad.)

Nodoka:  We have to find him.  I have not gone ten years without my son to lose him like this.  Whether you go or not, I am going.

Genma:  What?

Nodoka:  We can't impose on the Tendos like this anymore.  Especially not when our family has caused him such pain.  

Soun:  ...marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  Why? You...

Genma:  I don't know how we'll ever find them.

Nodoka:  Somehow we must find a way.

(Kasumi comes in and starts feeding soup to her father.)

Kasumi:  I wonder if they'll come back for the Yatai...it is Ukyou's dowry after all.

Genma:  They will!  She'll never be able to abandon it for long.

Kasumi:  Come on father.  Eat.  It's good for you.

Soun: ...didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  Why? You didn't stop him.  No marriage.  You didn't....

******************

{We see Ranma, Ukyou, and Shampoo perched up on a roof looking down at the Tendo Dojo.}

Ranma:  I don't know if coming back for this was a very good idea.

Ukyou:  We need it.  This way we can make a living.  Otherwise we'll starve.

Shampoo:  What we after anyway?

Ranma:  Ukyou's Yatai.  Looks like we're going into the restaurant business.

Shampoo:  Good idea.  Shampoo make very good noodles for...(Breaks off.  Looks sadly at Ukyou and Ranma for a moment, then looks back at the dojo.)

(Ranma and Ukyou trade glances.)

Shampoo:  Shampoo make diversion while you grab Yatai.

Ranma:  Good idea.  Make sure pop, Akane, and Mr. Tendo aren't anywhere nearby it.

Ukyou:  And Ryouga.

Ranma: Hah.  Ryouga is no threat.

(Shampoo slips off the roof to the ground and sprints into the Tendo residence.  We soon hear the sounds of havoc inside.)

Ranma:  Now we get the yatai and take off.  

(They slip off the roof and into the backyard of the dojo.  They creep across the yard to the storage shed, and slowly open the door.  The yatai sits inside, completely unguarded.)

Ukyou: Good.  Now we can get out of here.  (She grabs the Yatai and pulls.  It moves slowly.  Ranma gets behind it and pushes.)

Ranma:  This thing is heavier than I remembered.

Ukyou:  Guess we've gotten out of shape.  

(They slowly wheel it out of the shed and across the yard.  The havoc inside the house can still be heard.)

Ranma:  They must have...put...rocks in this.

Ukyou:  I'm going to see if anything is inside it.  

(She opens the lid.  Genma and Nodoka are inside.  Ranma and Ukyou freeze up and stare.  Nodoka stares back.  She looks at Ranma...looks at Ukyou....)

Nodoka:  (to Ukyou)  You...you...you look like my son..but, you're...you're a...

Ukyou:  Girl.

Nodoka:  (to Ranma)  And you...you...

Ranma:  Boy.

Nodoka:  Wait...I know you two.  You're Yamada Shinobu and Shiratori Moemi!  Two of Nabiki's friends.

Ranma:  Uh...I'm glad you remembered us.

(Genma is very silent, apparently unsure of what to do.)

Ukyou:  Ahh...Ranma and Ukyou asked us to get this for them...

Nodoka:  (In Ukyou's face almost)  Do..do you know where Ranma is?

(From somewhere in the house we hear...)

Kunou:  I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!  Get away from my darling Akane!

Ryouga:  Stuff it out your ear!  

(The sound of fighting gets worse in the house.  We hear thunder somewhere far off.  Ranma looks up.  The sky is clouding over.)

Ukyou:  We were just supposed to take it to a park and wait for them to show up.

Ranma:  Uh...yeah.

Nodoka:  Can you take us there?  I want to see my son.

Ranma:  Erp.  Um...Could you get out of the Yatai?  Moving it with you in it is kinda hard.

(Nodoka and Genma get out.  Now Genma sees it is going to rain.  He sprints into the house and emerges with four big umbrellas and hands everyone one.)

Nodoka:  Off to the park we go.

(The four of them wheel the Yatai out of the yard as the sky darkens.  Ranma looks pretty despondent.)

*************

(We see the four of them in the park.  It is gently drizzling.  All of them are huddled under umbrellas around the Yatai.  )

Ranma:  (whispered to Ukyou)  You should have known she'd want to come.

Ukyou:  (whispered back)  Maybe we should tell her.

(Ranma looks.  His mom does indeed have that everpresent Katana still strapped to her back.)

Ranma:  But she...what...I...

Ukyou:  It's the only way to get out of this...

Ranma:  (gulps)  I guess so.

(They circle the yatai to where Nodoka and Genma are.)

Ukyou:  Uh...we have a confession to make.

Nodoka:  Confession?

Ukyou:  We're not who we said we were.

Nodoka:  I...who are you?

(Genma is waving, no no no....then he realizes the umbrella is no longer shielding him from the rain because he is waving it about....Panda time.)

Nodoka:  A panda has eaten my husband!  AAHHHH!!! (She pulls out the katana and unsteadily faces the panda...who jumps back and starts trying to scribble on a sign.)

(Ranma and Ukyou pull her back from the panda....getting wet in the process.  All the umbrellas go flying.)

Nodoka: Ranma?  Ukyou?  Where did you two come from?  And where did...(She looks at Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun.  Her eyes bug out.)  No...

(The panda holds up a sign.)

Genma-panda:  (sign)  I didn't eat your husband!  (reverses it)  I am your husband.  

(Nodoka faints.)

Ranma-chan:  You know this is all your fault, pop!

Genma-panda:  Growf!

(At this point, Shampoo comes running into the park.  She is being chased by Akane, Mr. Tendo, Ryouga, Kodachi, Kunou, Nabiki, and Kasumi, as well as a lot of other people.)

Shampoo:  Get yatai!  Shampoo was followed!

Ranma-chan:  You could say that....

(Genma lifts Nodoka, while Shampoo, Ukyou-kun, and Ranma-chan push the Yatai.  The horde chases after them as they flee down the street.  They run through the streets down the sidewalk, sending people fleeing in all directions in front of them.)

Mr. Tendo:  Saotome-san!  What are you doing! Stop them!  

Ryouga:  That's not Saotome-san!  That's a panda!

Kasumi:  (whispered to Nabiki)  He doesn't know?

Nabiki:  I guess no one ever told him...

Mr. Tendo:  Ranma!  Come back!  You have to marry Nabiki!

Nabiki: Run, Ranma, run!

Mr. Tendo:  You're not helping, Nabiki!

Nabiki:  Yes, I am.  (thought)  [I just didn't say who I am helping.]

(Slowly the horde is catching up...the Yatai is slowing Ranma-chan and Ukyou-kun and Shampoo down.  And the rain is getting worse. )

Nodoka:  (mumbles)  Ranma....my son.

(They are now at the top of a steep hill.)

Ranma-chan:  I've got it!

Ukyou-kun:  What?

Ranma-chan:Everyone jump on the Yatai.

(They do.  It sags a bit, but holds.  Ranma-chan gives it a push and sends it down the hill, jumping on as it starts to roll.)

Ranma-chan:  They'll never catch us now.  (The Yatai speeds down the hill.)

(The horde reaches the top of the hill.  Mr. Tendo looks desperately about, then sees an abandoned bicycle.  He grabs it and Nabiki.)

Nabiki:  Hey!

(He jumps on the bike, and they zoom down the hill with Nabiki screaming on the handlebars.)

Mr. Tendo:  You can't escape your duty Ranma!

(Cars and people alike scatter as the yatai swerves back and forth across the road and sidewalk.)

Ranma-chan:  How do you steer this thing anyway?

Ukyou-kun:  It isn't built to be used this way!  (Whaps Ranma-chan with a spatula)

(They zoom through an intersection just as the light changes....Mr. Tendo isn't so lucky.  BAMM!!!  We see the bike with Mr.Tendo and Nabiki tangled in it zoom into the air....)

Ranma-chan:  See, I knew we'd get away from them!  

Genma-panda:  (sign)  But how do we stop this thing?

Ranma-chan:  Ahhh?  Well, um, we...that is...

(The slope curves with the road, sending them zooming off in a new direction...they zoom through a second intersection and past a sign that says, BRIDGE OUT)

Ukyou-kun:  Uh oh.

(Off the edge they go, plummeting into the river below.  Meanwhile we see Nabiki and Mr.Tendo fall out of the sky into the river.  They drift to shore. We see Nabiki pulling an unconscious Mr. Tendo out of the river. The Yatai floats away down stream.)

Ranma-chan:  Bye, Nabiki...

Ukyou-kun:  Even after all the hell I've gone through there, I'll miss the Tendos.

Ranma-chan:  Me too.

(We zoom in on Nabiki.  She looks out across the river at the drifting yatai.  Her eyes are watering a little, perhaps from her swim.  Or perhaps not...)

Nabiki:  Goodbye, my barbarian fiancee...

*********************

(The scene cuts to a pastiche of scenes.  We see Mr. Tendo lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling and babbling, while Kasumi feeds him.  We see Nabiki out on dates with various guys.  We see Akane and Ryouga walking in the park.  We see Shampoo, Nodoka,
 Ranma, Ukyou, and Genma-panda slogging through snow pulling a Yatai...Time passes...We see Mr. Tendo wandering the streets of Nerima at night with a lantern.  We see Ranma, Ukyou, Shampoo, Genma, and Nodoka busily selling Okonomiyaki and Noodles from the
 Yatai in many different places (Tokyo, the Pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, the Washington Monument, Mt. Fuji, Stonehenge...), we see Ryouga and Kunou duking it out in the halls of Furinkan High, Kodachi pining away, and Akane battling the morning horde of lo
ve-crazed boys...Still later, we see the Saotome brigade buying a small shop somewhere and setting up a restaurant.  It is in that pleasant little store that the next scene unfolds.)

(We see the front of the Restaurant.  It is titled the Saotome Dojo and Diner.  Underneath that is "Okonomiyaki and Noodles are our specialties!"  The place looks like a dojo on the inside except for the tables and chairs.  There are several training mats
 that the tables are arranged around.  As people eat, Genma and Ranma put on quite a show of mock battles, while Shampoo and Ukyou cook and Nodoka minds the counter, taking orders and ringing up sales.  It is the end of a long day.  The Calendar reads Oct
ober 6, 1994.  They are all pretty tired.  Ukyou shows the last customers out.  Once they leave, everyone slumps over. )

Ranma:  Man, this is really exhausting.

Nodoka:  Don't forget to do your homework.

Ranma;  Homework.  Bleah.

Ukyou:  Come on, we've got to do our homework or we'll never get out of high school.

Ranma:  Boy will I be glad when I'm done with High School.  No more school ever again.

Genma:  Except for college.

Ranma:  College?  What do I need college for?

Nodoka:  You'll need money skills.  One day this will be yours to manage.

Ranma:  That'll be years from now.  

Genma:  You'll thank us for making you do it one day.

Ranma:  Yeah, right.

Ukyou:  (looks pensive)  I feel like I am forgetting something.  

Nodoka:  (looks at watch on her wrist)  Hmm...I think I left something I need in the room upstairs.  (Grabs Genma)  Help me find it, husband.

Genma:  Eh?  What?  (Gets dragged off)

Shampoo:  Eek!  Shampoo supposed to meet Youta! ...(She sprints out the front door, slamming it behind her.)

Ukyou:  She really likes Youta.  I just wish I knew why she keeps worrying about someone named Mousse showing up and trying to kill him.

Ranma:  Youta's a really nice guy, but he spends too much time reading manuals on how to act.

Ukyou:  (smiles)  I suppose he should just act like you?

Ranma:  Of course.  (smiles).  I wonder how she is planning on getting around the fact that a guy like him could never defeat her in combat for her to be able to marry him.

Ukyou:  She's rather ingenious.  I think she'll find a way.  I don't think the law says the woman has to go all out, you know...  

Ranma:  (Looks at wrist as if looking at watch)  Look at the time!  Be back in just a second!  (Runs upstairs)

Ukyou:  (watches everyone bolt confusedly)  I...Wait.  Today...Today is my birthday.  Hey, everyone!  It's my birthday!

(silence)

Ukyou:  Guess everyone forgot...including me.  I had to work on my birthday.  (sits down in a chair.)  But I have Ranchan.  That's the important thing.  They'll all be back in a minute anyway.  

(There is a knock at the door.) 

Ukyou:  We're closed!  Come back tomorrow!

Voice (Muffled):  Special Delivery for Kuonji Ukyou!

Ukyou:  (blinks)  Coming.

(She opens the door, and is surprised to see Shampoo, Akane, Ryouga, and Nabiki.  Akane is carrying a big box with a twelve pack of coke on top of it.)

All:  Surprise!  Happy Birthday, Ukyou!

(We now see that Ranma, Genma, and Nodoka snuck back in while Ukyou was distracted and joined the cheer.)

Ukyou: I..you...How did you find us?  I...thanks, everyone.  

Shampoo:  Shampoo invite all your friends!  (Even more people stream in...obviously people Ukyou has met at school and on her journeys.)  Shampoo know it no fun to be alone on birthday.

(Everyone whips out some kind of present.  They take the box over to the table and open it.  It has a a cake with lemon frosting and 17 candles.  All are red, except a blue one in the middle.)

Ukyou:  Wow!

Akane:  Kasumi baked it for you.  We had a hard time hiding it from dad.

Ukyou:  I...does your father know you are here?

Akane:  He's off on his nightly search for you.  He just can't give up.  I don't know what we're going to do about it.  At least he doesn't just lie around in bed any more.

Ukyou:  I'm just happy that all my friends are here.  (Ranma comes up behind her and puts an arm on her shoulder.)  And my darling Ranma.  Life is hard, but I'm happy!

(The door flies open again!  In charges Mr. Tendo, dressed in samurai armor and carrying a sword.)

Soun:  Ranma!  I have found you!  Now you will marry my daughter!

Ranma:  No....I don't want to run any more...

Nabiki:  Father!

(Soun chases Ranma around the room.  Ranma leaps table to table, while Soun runs around the tables.  Everyone else just stares for a moment, then joins the chase.  Soon Akane and Ryouga are trying to restrain Soun, who is slowly dragging them across the f
loor as he tries to get to Ranma.  Ukyou gets between Ranma and Soun.)

Ukyou:  Look!  He is marrying me!  Not your daughter!

Soun:  Has to marry Nabiki...He has to marry Nabiki!

Nabiki:  I'm not marrying him, father!

Akane:  Why can't Ryouga and I take over the dojo eventually, Father?

Soun:  Ryouga?  What?  But he's not Ranma....

(Ryouga seems a little surprised by this.)

Akane:  Father, Ranma doesn't want to marry Nabiki!  But I think Ryouga and I could do a good job of running it in the future.

Ryouga:  You mean....

Akane:  (smiles at Ryouga) Yes.  I want to marry Ryouga, father.

(Ranma just stares at Ryouga who is staring at Akane.  Ukyou, Nabiki, and Nodoka smile.  Genma seems a bit shocked too.)

Nabiki:  I think they'd make a good couple.

Soun:  (to Ryouga)  You want to marry my daughter?  (He sounds like a drowning man who has been offered a cup of water.)

Ryouga:  Ahh...yes.  I...I...would love to.

Soun:  Yaay!  (He dances around in a circle)  I am so happy!

(Nabiki has been lighting the candles on the cake.  They hustle Ukyou over to the cake.)

Nabiki:  Blow out the candles and make a wish.

Ukyou:  Why is one of them blue?

Akane:  Kasumi told us it was a magic candle.  If you blow it and the others out at the same time...you get a wish.

Ukyou:  Okay.  Hmmm...Ahh!  Got one!  (She blows and all the candles go out.)

Akane:  Do you think you'll get your wish?

Ukyou:  (hugs Ranma)  I already did!

******************************

(The view pulls back and we see a hand holding a small clear gem with the image of Ukyou hugging Ranma visible in it.  As the view pulls further back, we see Ukyou's Okonomiyaki shop, with a cake with sixteen candles and one blue one in the middle sitting
 on a table.  There is no sign of Ukyou or her mysterious benefactor.  There is only a man?  woman?  in purple robes with a hood over his/her head.  A few strands of long black hair stick out.  From this angle we can not see the figure's face.)

Purple Robe:  That should eliminate this time line.  Time for me to leave.  

(He/she turns and steps out the door, which glows, and into a dusty wasteland.  A single door stands amidst white and gray sands. The sky is a multi colored phantasmagoria.  Purple Robe looks down into a huge pool which shows the room he/she has just left
.  We see Ranma enter the room with a small wrapped box.)

Ranma:  Ukyou!  Happy Birthday...Ukyou?  where are you?

Purple Robe:  What?  This timeline still exists?  That should have edited it right out of existence.  I see that this is going to be harder than I thought.  This time line must be destroyed.  Hmm.  Who should be my next target?

(HE/She sees Shampoo run into the room and leap into Ranma's arms.)

Shampoo:  Oh!  A present for Shampoo!  Thank you Ranma!

Ranma:  Wait...it...

Purple Robe:  Yes.  She will do nicely.  I already know what she wants...

The End, for now...

Author's Afterword:

I'd like to thank all my prereaders for all the effort they've put into helping me polish up this story!  Without you guys, my work would be a lot more messy. 

Especial thanks to David Tai, Rogue, and David (whose last name i forget...but he goes to the university of york!) whose insightful comments helped me refine this story to its current state.  

If you'd like to join the elite force of wonderful people who preread my stories, or just want to comment on this one...or need someone to just throw electronic rocks at, you can reach me at johnbil@wam.umd.edu.  Or you can Page #mail me on AnimeMuck...I'
m Bailesu.

Yes, this is the first of a series of Elseworlds stories linked by the framework of Purple Robe's efforts to destroy the Ranma timeline.  Anyone who can guess who Purple Robes is and why Purple Robes wants to destroy the Ranma timeline will get a free pri
ze!  And I'll be pretty impressed with your detective skills....this first story gives only a few clues....(PR is a combination of a Ranma character and a character from another work of fiction...ya gotta identify both...)

This will be probably a cycle of seven stories...

But first comes a couple of episodes of Furinkan Summer, my long-awaited Ranma--Putting Your Heart in the Right Place sequel....

John Biles
johnbil@wam.umd.edu
Bailesu@AnimeMuck (located at anime.tcp.com 2035)

thanks for reading this!

John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu      bailesu@komodo.hacks.arizona.edu  
http://www.komodo.hacks.arizona.edu/~bailesu/falcon.html 
http://www.dhp.com/~wraven/john/index.html
"It's good to kill the King."  "I still think the Saxons should have 
put a higher price on our heads.  I'm more valuable than 25 librum."
--Frequent quotes from our PENDRAGON sessions.