When you get this, put this in your basic Word Wrap. You know, 80 screen by 24.
Oh, this is the Beta version, I would love to have ppl comment on this, so I can get the final version out okay?????????????????
---cut this and to the story--------
Bile Studio Presents:
Ranma 1/2: Fanfiction
by Jang Choe
Ranma 1/2 is created by Rumiko Takahashi, I did not ask
permission to write this, but who does?
[We see an asian teen come in to his room; he is about 6
feet tall, medium build, and wears glasses. It is Jang Choe.
Jang Choe comes in and sits in front of his Pentium 100 computer
with Word Perfect 6.0 for DOS blaring on the screen, blinding
him.]
Jang Choe: Yes, it is now time to write my next fanfic.
Fanfic@fanfic.com: Uhhh, Jang, according to my files, your
stories are not that popular with the fans.
Jang Choe: Well, they are better than my brother's
Fanfic@fanfic.com: Why? they are ok, I guess. But still, we
are talking about your stories, not your brother's.
Jang Choe: What a wimp, he's afraid to put his real name down.
What with this S.C. crap?
Fanfic@fanfic.com: Uh huh, well, what are you going to do
about your low ratings?
Jang Choe: I don't know, Maybe I should hire someone to write it
for me.
Fanfic@fanfic.com: like who??
Jang Choe: I don't know, now get out of my face.
Fanfic@fanfic.com: Ok, sir.
Jang Choe: Maybe I should E-mail Chris Schumacher, Benares,
Stefan Gagne, or John Biles to write it for me. (Thinks for a
second) Yea, I think I shall do that.
[a few days have passed and Mr. Jang Choe received his
E-mails from the writers]
Jang Choe: Let's see, this is from Chris Schumacher. It says,
"How dare you E-mail me again?? won't you ever stop?! I am the god of
all fanfics, and you have no power or right to ask me anything. Now
if you send me any more mail, I shall have to torture you by
sending you UUencoded files of Crys saga."
Humph, yeah right. Lets see.... ah here's one from John
Biles. This says, "You want me to what??? I just want to tell
you that you are the worst writer I know. That `Personalities' crap,
not worth reading. It is even worse than the Crys Saga!! You and
your big ego think that I will work for you!!?? YEAH right,
stupid. I don't want to lower my reputation by working for you.
So forget about it! BTW, you finished that Elseworlds story
yet?"
Well, how nice, and I actually liked Lemonade too. What
Elseworlds story? Maybe he's mistaken me for David Tai. Hmmm,
Benares.. nothing from him. I guess he's dead or something, come
to think of it, I never heard from him since that Ranma vs
Predator thing. Oh well, why bother. Here is something from
Jason Wages though. Who is he? Anyway.... Stefan! lets see, it
says, "I rather be trapped in a cell and be forced to eat my own
imperfection to survive than work for you."
Well, I'm happy that they all respect me but I still need a
fanfic. I know, I'll E-mail all the professionals in the comic
business and ask them to write something for me. I'm sure
they'll be more than happy to help a fan out. Besides, who needs
these egotistical amateurs anyway? When I can get
professionals with bigger egos.
[The great Jang Choe sends his mail. It was sent to all 35
million* people who can obtain E-mail.]
*I made this number up so don't tell me it's wrong.
[A few weeks later only a few came in]
Jang Choe: Gee, no one wants to write for me. I guess I have
to...Hey, here's one.
Toriyama: Hello Jang Choe, My name is Toriyama Akira. I received
your letter and I want to help you write the story. See, after I
stopped Dragon Ball, my popularity went down. So, here is my
Ranma fanfic. Hope you like it. Oh yea, I'm coming to your
house personally and write it on your computer.
Jang Choe: Cool, the one and only Akira Toriyama sent me a
letter, and he says he coming to my studios!
Tori: (With his traditional gas mask)Hey, I'm here.
Jang Choe: Hey, that was fast.
Tori: here it is, my fanfic of Ranma.
Jang Choe: I thought you were going to write it here.
Tori: When did I say that?
Ranma 1/2
by Toriyama Akira
It was time for school for Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, and
Kasumi...
Jang Choe: Hold on, Kasumi doesn't go to school.
Tori: Oh sorry. Let me fix that.
...It was time for school for Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki.
However, Ranma did not care a bit because he was invited to the
Tenkaichi Budokai along with his friends Ryouga, Mousse, and
Kuno.
Jang Choe: Hold, they are not exactly his friends.
Tori: Ooops, I'll change that.
....with his enemies Ryouga....
Jang Choe: No, they are not exactly his enemies either. You ever
read Ranma?
Tori: Yea, a little
Jang Choe: Well, it would help if you read the Manga or the
episodes.
Tori: Okay tell me everything you know about Ranma.
[After ten minutes, Jang Choe tells Toriyama san everything
he know about Ranma.]
Tori: That didn't help at all.
Jang Choe: Well, here. Some fanfics by various amateur writers
and some summaries; after that, we can watch all the Ranma videos
I have.
[24 hours of Ranma marathon. Toriyama is now shaking and
twitching, but with little information of Ranma he obtained,
finally writes a fanfic.]
Ranma 1/2
by Akira Toriyama.
It was a beautiful day in Nerima. We all could see Ranma
training hard. Ranma was one of those guys that doesn't like to
lose to anybody- just like Vegita. But little did he know, on a
other part of the world, someone was training as hard as he. It
was a Chinese man, trained in all sorts of arts. This guy wanted
to fight the best people in the world. However, he was also a
brutal killer and had an appetite for power. This man's dream
was to rule the world, or die trying. But he loved fighting the
most, it was fun and relaxing for him after a good fight to kill
off his opponent.
Ranma doesn't know that yet; he fired his last moko
takabisha and stopped.
"Phew, that was a great workout," Ranma said as he wiped his
head with a towel, "Hey Nabiki, did the gang come yet?"
"No, they didn't," Nabiki said.
"Geeze, they promised to train with me,"
All of a sudden, Mousse, Ryouga, Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kuno came
running in.
"Sorry we're late, but nature boy here slowed us down,"
Mousse said pointing at Ryouga.
"Hey, it was you who slowed us down with your bad eyesight."
Ryouga said.
"Ok, ok, Now, for our training. You never know if we'll
ever face a formidable foe." Ranma said.
"Che," Kuno said, folding his arms and closing his eyes,
"For no mortal is formidable as I."
"Hey, Ranma, look what I found in the sewer. I.. heh heh..
got lost in there some how." Ryouga said as Ranma took the wet,
smelly piece of paper from him.
"Lets see, it says here that there is a martial arts
tournament called the Tenkaichi-Budokai coming soon. Hey, lets
join the tournament guys!" Ranma said enthusiastically.
"YEA!" they all said.
"Humph," sneered Kuno, "I shall win that little, pathetic
tournament."
........... Meanwhile, Chichibi, the fearsome Chinese warrior,
also somehow received the same letter.
"Heh heh heh!! Now, I can kill without any worry." Chichibi
said as he laughed out loud.
The day for the 99th annual Tenkaichi Budokai finally came.
"Welcome to our 99th annual Tenkaichi Budokai!" said a grey
haired, skinny announcer. "This event will now feature 16 great
fighters all over the globe. Ah, here they come now."
There are many fighters coming in but the main focuses are
Kuno, Ryouga, Mousse, and Ranma. There are other fighters but
they are not important, or they thought.
Ranma looked at the instructions he obtained from one of the
ushers. "Lets see," Ranma said, "Since there are 100 plus people
that wants to be in this tournament, they will decide on the 16
competitors by breaking. Each person must break 40 stone boards
at one time. They can use any technique to break them."
"That's stupid." said Mousse.
"Also," Ranma said, "When the competitors go into the main
tournament, they can win by five different ways. Death,
submission, 10 count knock out, fall of ring, or at the end of
the 2 hour time limit; the judges choose the victor. Only
certain weapons are permitted. No projectile weapons like bow
and arrows, guns, blow darts ect."
"They are starting the breaking, come on hurry up guys."
Ryouga called out to them.
The first one was a five animal kung fu stylist from Hong
Kong; he used the palm strike to break only 12. The next person
was a wrestler from Mexico; he broke it with his head. Only 17
broke. After six more people, Ryouga finally came up.
"Easy as moving a feather," Confidently said Ryouga,
"bakusaitenketsu!!"
The boards shattered all over. After the smoke cleared it
showed Ryouga standing confidently over the pile of broken stone.
Some people cheered for him while the others stood
speechless.
After thirty more people, Chichibi came up and broke it with
his rendition of bakusaitenketsu. Except he used his elbow.
Instead of a pile of stone, a pile of dust remained.
"We better watch out for him." Ranma said to Kuno.
"Putz, true he is skilled in breaking, but in fighting we
have to see yet." Kuno said arrogantly.
After a hour, the breaking were done. Then they drew
numbers for their standings.
Ranma----------\
\______
/ \
Kunimitsu------/ \
-----|
Ryouga---------\ / |
\______/ |
/ |
Kazuya---------/ |
|----------------|
Baek-----------\ | |
\______ | |
/ \ | |
Bruce Chan-----/ \ | |
-----| |
Mousse---------\ / |
\______/ |
/ |
Kuno-----------/ |____Champian
|
ChiChibi-------\ |
\______ |
/ \ |
Jacky Lee------/ \ |
------| |
Paul-----------\ / | |
\______/ | |
/ | |
Heiachi--------/ | |
|----------------
Jun------------\ |
\________ |
/ \ |
King-----------/ \ |
----|
Nina-----------\ /
\________/
/
Wang-----------/
"It says the first place is 1,000,000,000,000 Yens." No
second or third place prizes huh? Too bad for the other people.
Ryouga said reading the rule sheet.
"Come on, it's starting!" Ranma yelled as he looked at the
clock.
"Welcome to our 99th annual Tenkaichi Budokai!"
Enthusiastically says the announcer. "Our first match is between
Ranma Saotome and Kunimitsu!"
Ranma and Kunimitsu walk up to the arena. Everybody is
cheering for Ranma. Ranma and Kunimitsu gets in there fighting
positions and with the announcer's signal, they charge at each
other.
Kuni spun her knives around but barely missed Ranma. Ranma
flipped over Kunimitsu, landed behind her, and back kicked her in
the kidney.
Kunimitsu staggered forward stunned by the attack. This
gave Ranma to jump in the air and kick her knee in. Kunimitsu
collapsed to one knee, got nailed in the eye by an elbow, and
was flipped over by Ranma. Kunimitsu was no longer able to
fight, so the announcer announced that Ranma was the winner.
"The next bout is between Ryouga Hibiki and Kazuya Mishima!"
The announcer said enthusiastically.
Kazuya and Ryouga looked face to face, Kazuya said
something stupid and Ryouga kicked his butt.
It was like that for the rest of the Ranma characters, the
matches were too easy for them. Pretty soon, it was ChiChibi's
turn. Jacky Lee leaped and did a nice jump arc kick towards
ChiChibi; however, ChiChibi just glared at him and stuck his hand
out. A huge blast of energy came pouring out of his hand. It
struck Jacky and fried him. Jacky floated for a few seconds from
the force of the blast; before he hit the ground, ChiChibi kicked him
away and Jacky landed with a hard thud which made a big dent in
the ground.
"Da winner!!! ChiChibi!!" The announcer announced as he
checked Jacky's condition. Of course, nobody except ChiChibi
knew he was dead. ChiChibi just stood there, arms crossed
grinning.
"Ranma, he killed him." Ryouga said in disbelief.
"I know." Ranma said bitterly as he charged towards
ChiChibi. "What the hell did you think you were doing?!" Ranma
said as he stuck his hands out and blew an energy blast towards
ChiChibi.
ChiChibi merely smiled and flicked the blast away with his
finger; he then looked at Ranma, stretched his arm, and grabbed
Ranma on the throat.
"Well well, you can throw ki blasts too eh?" ChiChibi said
snobbishly.
"Of course! You shouldn't have killed that guy! You must
pay for what you did!" Ranma said choking from the grip.
"What are YOU going to do about it?" ChiChibi said as he
let Ranma go and looked around at the audience. The audience was
staring at them in awe with their mouths open. ChiChibi then
sneered, "Well, what are you going to do about this?!"
Ranma, Ryouga, Mousse, and Kuno suddenly knew what was going
to happen. ChiChibi kicked Ranma out of the way, quickly
gathered all the energy he had, and suddenly, ChiChibi was
surrounded with an ki aura with a ten meter radius.
"Everybody!!" Ranma and his gang yelled. "Get out of the
stadium quickly!!!"
However, it was too late, ChiChibi threw his huge blast
upwards and the blast spread out and started falling towards the
audience. The audience all ran in panic but the smaller blasts
eventually killed them all.
"You sonava bitch!! Our family and friends were in that
audience!" Ranma yelled.
"And what are you going to do about it?" ChiChibi said as
he flew away, laughing.
Ranma started to go after him, but the others stopped him.
"Ranma, you're no match for him," Ryouga said. "ChiChibi
had a good reason not to kill us; he is giving us a chance."
"And what chance is that?!" Ranma said furiously.
"Well, obviously your simple mind does not work as well and
mine." Kuno said. "For he knew he was stronger than us, even
for my standards. However, he seemed that he wanted a challenge.
Therefore, he is giving us time to train so he can kill with
great satisfaction. Of course, that is a big mistake of him.
For I shall kill him with ease since I shall train more to
perfect my already flawless kendo style."
"Well, what are we waiting for? Lets go!" Ranma said.
They all stayed at the Tendo place since Mousse, Kuno, and
Ryouga had no place to go. Kuno turned the TV on, saying how old
and stupid Ranma's TV is. All of a sudden, an emergency news
break broke in.
"Boring." Kuno said as he changed the channel. However,
every channel seemed to have that emergency newsbreak, even the
educational channels.
"Hello citizens of the world." The guy on the TV said.
"Who is he?" Kuno asked.
"That's ChiChibi you idiot!!" Ranma yelled.
"Ah, so he is. Nothing can escape my keen eye."
"Whatever." Mousse said as everyone turned their attention
to the TV.
"Beginning tomorrow, everybody in the world will become my
slave!" ChiChibi said. "If anybody resists," Cohoba continued
as he grabbed the anchor lady. "This will happen."
ChiChibi then blows the head off of the poor anchor lady,
punches at the camera, and flies away laughing his heart out.
"Crap!!" Ranma yelled. "ChiChibi needs to be stopped!"
"Well, Ranma my boy." Happosai suddenly appeared and said.
"What do you want you old letch?" Ryouga said, fuming.
"I came here to train you guys. I can see that ChiChibi
will be a major threat to us. So, I must train you."
"Bah, the great Blue Thunder doth not need such training.
For I am quite skilled at my art of Kendo." Kuno said
snobbishly.
"Oh, are you eh?" Someone said suddenly behind Kuno.
Kuno quickly turned and was face to face with ChiChibi.
"Ah, so you have come to die!" Kuno said to ChiChibi's
face.
"Come on then." ChiChibi said confidently.
Happosai then noticed the ki level of ChiChibi; he knew that
Kuno didn't have a devil of a chance against ChiChibi.
Kuno raised his bokken and smashed it down upon ChiChibi.
Chichi teleported out of the way, and the bokken hit a rock. The
bokken suddenly broke and a shiny new blade popped out.
Happosai said surprised, "Can... Can it be? The legendary
sword of Hokiyo?!"
Even ChiChibi was surprised at the blade. That sword
boosted Kuno's ki level by hundredfold. Kuno, without notice,
kicked ChiChibi in the gut. ChiChibi then flew through the stone
fence, and into the neighbors's house.
"HAHAHAHA, ye now know my true power!" Kuno said laughing.
ChiChibi then smashed through Kuno and knocked him down.
Then he grabbed Kuno's leg, spun around, and threw Kuno into
the sky. ChiChibi then quickly chased after Kuno and kicked him
in the stomach, then he axe handled Kuno in the back of the neck;
he did this while they were still in the sky. Kuno was falling
towards the ground fast, but Kuno realized and stopped three
centimeters before he hit the ground. Kuno then looked up,
smiled, and wiped the blood from his mouth and teleported towards
ChiChibi.
Kuno hit ChiChibi with the handle of his sword, sliced
ChiChibi's arm in half, and threw in down to the ground. When
ChiChibi landed, a small earthquake formed and made a huge crater
on where ChiChibi landed.
ChiChibi then got up, and regrew his arm then said, "You
guys are much tougher then I expected."
ChiChibi then closed his eyes. All of a sudden, he yelled
very loudly and he grew a meter taller, and gained 100% more
muscle mass. ChiChibi looked at his new self, grabbed Kuno's
legendary sword, and snapped it in half.
"You cur!! That sword cost me half a billion yen!!" Kuno
yelled furiously.
Kuno jumped in the air and did a jump ax kick. ChiChibi
just moved to side and whacked Kuno on the chin with his fist.
Kuno the flew through some houses.
"Kisama~!" Ranma said. "What did you do to Kuno!?"
"I only used a fraction of my power; he is unconscious.
Remember, tomorrow I shall be the master of the world." ChiChibi
said flying away.
Ranma and gang looked for Kuno. They finally found him on
the other side of the town. Kuno went through 134 houses, 24
trees, 10 rocks and cars, and 53 other buildings. They quickly
took Kuno to the hospital.
"So, are you going to train us?" Ranma said to Happosai.
"Me?! No way! Here." Happosai said, giving them a map.
"Go to this temple in Namek. They will help you train."
"How in the world do we go to Namek!?" Ranma snarled
impatiently.
"Teleport there. Duh." Happosai said.
"How do we find the right ki for it?"
"Hold on." Happosai then meditated for a couple of seconds
then said, "It's in that direction."
"That direction?" Ryouga said pointing the opposite way.
"No," Ranma said, pointing Ryouga's finger to the right
direction. "THAT direction."
"Oh, okay." Ryouga said, still uncertain.
"Good luck my students." Happosai said.
"Since when was that lecher my master." Mousse whispered.
They all then teleported away.
"Well, Kuno." Happosai said. "When you awake, I will train
you."
Ranma, and Mousse arrived at Name. All the Namekians
looked at the earthlings.
"Hel... Hello." Ranma nervously said.
Mousse then noticed something. "Hey Ranma, where is
Ryouga?"
Ryouga arrived at this weird Planet. "Now where in the
universe am I?!!" Ryouga yelled in frustration.
"Easy," somebody said. "You're in Planet Vegita."
"What? Where's Namek?" Ryouga said...
Jang Choe: Ok, this sucks.
Toriyama: What?!
Jang Choe: (Putting his hands on the great Toriyama's shoulder.)
You miss Dragon Ball don't you? I mean really miss Dragon Ball?
Toriyama: Yea.. Yeah. And get your filthy hands off of me.
Jang Choe: Sorry, (removes hand) Now Toriyama, if you like
Dragon Ball so much, why don't you go back to it? NOT Dragon
Ball GT please no.
Toriyama: But, I'm running out of ideas. And..
Jang Choe: Hey, you'll do a great job... don't worry. I even
like that Buu saga.
Toriyama: Ok, I will. Oh, aren't you going to finish the story?
Jang Choe: Look Toriyama, I read most of your Dragon Ball Z
comics. I think I know what is going to happen. Okay?
Toriyama: Ok, thanks Jang Choe.
Jang Choe: For what?
Toriyama: For getting me back to Dragon Ball again. As soon as
I get some new ideas, I'll immediately go back on it.
Jang Choe: Ok, no problem.
[Toriyama leaves Bile Studios.]
Jang Choe: That's right folks, if Toriyama goes back to DBZ,
it's because of me. Oh, time for lunch.
[Jang Choe goes to Taco Bell for lunch and comes back.]
Jang Choe: Now that I think about it, that rendition by Akira
Toriyama is... interesting. Well, time to waste my money on the
internet. At least I don't have American Online; I mean 30
dollars a minute? That is a little too much. (Clicks the modem,
the modem dials and all these sounds comes out.) Hey, I got
mail! Huh? This fanfic is for me.... Lets see who wrote this...
Fujishmia Kosuke!!!!
Bile Studios Presents:
Ranma 1/2: Martial Arts Auto Racing.
by Fujishima Kosuke.
It was a beautiful day in Nerima, and Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane,
and Ranma sat at the table eating their breakfast.
Soun suddenly burst into the dining room and cried out loud.
"What's wrong Father?" Kasumi asked concerned.
"Boo hoo, this letter. Waaaa!" Soun said giving the letter
to Kasumi.
"Lets see," Kasumi said reading the letter. "Hello, Soun.
It's me, the great martial artist and race car driver, Mario
Smith. You promised me long ago that I would marry your first
born daughter if I beat you in that go cart racing. Now, I'm
coming back to claim my prize."
"Well, what do you know Kasumi, your the lucky one." Nabiki
said.
"Oh my,." Kasumi said and continued reading the letter,
"but being nice as I am, I will give you another chance. I'll
stage another Martial
Arts Auto Racing next week."
Suddenly, Ranma jumped up and said, "Martial Arts Auto
Racing? I can do that!"
"Ranma, you can't even drive. How in the world do you think
you can win in this?" Akane said.
"I can win in anything with martial arts in them." Ranma
said confidently.
"Ranma, do you think you can do it?" Soun asked
frantically.
"Yup. But we need a car by next week."
"I'll make it!" Akane suddenly jumped up and said.
"You'll what?" Ranma said in disbelief. "You don't know
the thing about cars, let alone make one."
"Don't worry Ranma, it's putting together parts. Just like
cooking."
"Oh dear." Everybody except Kasumi groaned.
"Well," Kasumi said. "I'll help. I know a little about
cars."
"Thanks Kasumi." Akane said as she smiled.
For the next three days, the Tendos and the Saotomes looked
for parts.
"How are we going to find parts? I don't even have a job!"
Soun said frantically.
"Don't worry father, I'm sure all of our friends will help
us." Kasumi said.
So they all went to different people for the parts, a motor,
the frames, ect. Every night, Akane and Kasumi worked on the car
without sleep. Actually Akane did fall asleep on some occasions
but Kasumi worked on it 24 hours a day, and she still managed to
cook, do laundry, and other household chores.
The day before the race, they finally finished. Kasumi
brought out Ranma and the others to look at the new, made from
scratch, car.
"This is our best work, it's our only work though. It has
Aluminum framing, light weight fiberglass resin body, four wheel
drive, two seats, rack and pinion steering, six cylinder, dual-
overhead cam 16 valve engine, 570 horsepower that can propel this
baby 0-60 in 4.0 seconds!" Kasumi said excited.
"It even has an AM FM stereo with cassette, 45 Watts."
Akane said smiling.
"And we need to thank Ukyo for those Aluminum frames,
Ryouga for those tires, shocks, and brakepads. You never know
what you can find in Ryouga's back pack. Shampoo for that
Fiberglass that was just laying around in Nekohanten, and you
guys for the other spare parts, especially Ranma for getting Kuno
that nice engine."
"Hey, I could of gotten a new car with Kuno with my pig-
tailed girl bit, but why didn't you want to do that?" Ranma
asked.
"Because it would of been better if it was had built.
Besides, I liked doing it." Kasumi said.
"Kasumi," Soun said. "You better get some sleep, you
haven't slept in three days."
"I will father, that way I can ride with Ranma tomorrow."
"What?! Why are you riding with him Kasumi?" Akane
questioned.
"I want to help Ranma. And since I built this, I can tell
Ranma what to do."
"Well, since you do know what you're doing Kasumi, okay."
Akane said.
"And for the martial arts part of this contest, no problem."
Ranma said.
The day finally came. They all met in this racecourse at
Nekomi Tech. Ranma and the others were wondering how Mario got
this place anyway. As Ranma got ready, Mario came up to them.
"Hello," said Mario. "You ready to lose?... And who is
this lovely woman?"
"I'm Kasumi Tendo." said Kasumi.
"Are you the first born?"
"Why yes."
"My my, I can't wait to win and marry you."
"Well, I do prefer older men."
It turns out that Mario Smith is only 18. So, Soun was
beaten by a seven year old. Ranma suddenly grabbed Soun's collar
and shouted, "You got beaten by a seven year old at go cart
racing!!?"
"Well, he was good." Soun said.
"I am good. And since this is a Martial arts contest, I
know I'll defiantly win. Oh, have you seen my car?"
Everybody went over to Mario's car. It was a heavily
modified Mercedes Benz. "This baby's engine can tear up any road
than any other diesel engine can. I changed the framing, the
body and everything to make this baby 120% lighter. It used to
be a Nissan 300-sx, but I switched the motor with a Mercedes Benz
220 s. I also modified the engine with nitro boost super turbo
accelerator." Mario said proudly.
"Oh man, hey Kasumi, I have no idea what this guy said, but
do you think our car can beat this?" Ranma asked.
"Huh?" Kasumi said.
"Kasumi!! Are you all right?" Soun said frantically
"Yes father, just tired. (Yawn)"
"You better hurry and get ready, the race is going to start
in five minutes." Mario said getting into his car.
"I wonder what the martial art part is?" Ranma pondered as
he got into his car. "Hey Kasumi, what's the martial arts part
of this?"
"I'm not sure." Kasumi said.
"Oh, that's easy. There isn't a martial arts to this
racing." Soun said. "Mario just says that to bring in the bad
martial arts drivers."
"What?!" Ranma screamed. "Why didn't you tell me???!"
"Because you never asked."
"Well, I'm not going through with this."
"Ranma, do it for father... or more importantly, Akane."
Kasumi said to Ranma smiling.
"Well...." Ranma said. "okay, lets do it."
Both contestants went to the starting line and reved up
their engines. The lights went from red, red, red, then green.
They were off...
Jang Choe: Well, that's boring. No wacky martial arts in this
race. Just pure racing Fujishima always does.
[Jang ponders some more.]
Jang Choe: I'm wondering why Fujishima will write about cars all
the time. It doesn't make sense especially to people like me who
knows nothing about cars! Hmmm, some mail from fanfic@fanfic.com,
and another fanfic for me!! Lets see who wrote this one... Todd
McFarlane!!?? (deletes it) Who is he anyway? Hmmm, oohh more...
This one's from.... oh my goodness.
Bile Studio Presents:
Ranma 1/2: Akane
Katsuhiro Otomo
It was a beautiful day in Nerima till...
"RANMA!!!!! YOU PERVERT!!!!!"
Ranma was running away from Akane, trying to explain how he
accidentally went into Akane's room when she was changing.
"RAAANNNNMMAAAA!!!!! I HHAAAATEEE YOUUUUU!!" Akane
screamed in rage.
"Well, it's not my fault that you unlocked the bathroom
door!" Ranma said innocently.
"You are a pervert, Ranma. I locked the door!"
"Yeah right. Besides, why would I want to look at a tom boy
like you? I'm better built to boot."
Akane then threw a table at Ranma and walked out of the way.
"Owww." Ranma said under the table.
Ranma and Akane were going to school when a strange man came
running into the streets. The man looked confused and deranged.
The man pushed bumped into Akane hard and knocked her and himself
out.
"Yo, Akane, you okay?" Ranma said tapping her cheek. Akane
slowly gained conscious and got up.
"I.. I don't need your help Ranma, get away from me." Akane
said.
"Sheesh, your still the tomboy as usual. Now lets go."
Ranma said.
"Wait, what about the man?" Akane said.
"Just leave him, I'm sure he'll wake up. You did."
Sure enough, the man got up, and walked away.
"That's guy is weird." Ranma said.
"Come on Ranma. we're late!" Akane said, grabbing Ranma by
the collar.
School seemed normal, for the most part. However, Akane
started to feel a little sick. She, however, did make it through
the day of school. Ranma finally noticed that she didn't look so
well. "Hey, what's wrong?" Ranma asked.
"None of your business." Akane answered bitterly; she
wasn't in the mood for Ranma's smart remarks.
"Man, I told you not to eat your own cooking, geeze." Ranma
said.
"Ranma, shut up." Akane said as she was about to punch
Ranma, but she decided not to because she felt too weak.
Suddenly, she collapsed on the ground.
"Akane?" Ranma asked in surprise. At first, Ranma thought
this was a joke, but he figured out that it's real and carried
her
to Tendo-Dojo.
Akane was taken by her family to her room. Soun cries while
Kasumi checks on Akane to see what is wrong. They even call Dr.
Tofu in to check on Akane.
Dr. Tofu checks on Akane for a few minutes and comes out of
her room and says, "She has a slight fever, she just needs some
rest."
Soun thanks Dr. Tofu and everybody calms down.
Akane sleeps in her room, sweating. She is obviously having
a bad dream, a dream that she wakes up from. Her eyes just jump
right up like spring traps; she is sweating hard.
All of a sudden, a loud explosion is heard. "What the hell
was that?!" Ranma yelled as he ran up stairs. "It came from
Akane's room!"
The entire clan ran up stairs to Akane's room. The opened
the door, and saw that it was gone. The whole room was gone,
with Akane.
"Where did my daughter go?!!" Soun yelled in terror and
broke down into sobs.
Everybody just stood there in shock, the late afternoon air
beating on their faces. Finally, Ranma speaks up, "What the
heck is going on?"
With that, somehow, everybody seems to come back to reality.
Kasumi quickly phones Dr. Tofu to come and examine this.
They wait till Dr. Tofu comes and examines this scene.
"This is pretty weird. But very interesting." Dr Tofu says
after a few minutes of examining the scene. "You say that there
was a sound of an explosion?"
"Yes," Soun says. "Was it a bomb?"
"No, daddy." Kasumi answers. "IF it was a bomb, there would
be ashes and rubble, and other parts of the house would have been
blown with it. That's why I called Dr. Tofu. This is a strange
incident."
"It is very weird... I don't know what happened to Akane.
Sorry. However, I know some psychic friends of mine that can
help." Tofu said.
"Psyhic friends?" Ranma said speculating. "There are no
such
things."
"Oh?" Tofu said. "What do thing caused this?"
"I don't know." Ranma said. "But it's not something
Psychic."
"Ranma," Tofu said putting his hand on Ranma's shoulder.
"There has been proofs of psychic behavior and incidents. For
example, a woman in the US around 1950's looked down and saw
herself sleeping. Another incident is in Australia, a huge
crater appeared out of nowhere. No meteor nor any space
particles were found at that area. Also, if you go back to
1600's, a Monk named St. Joseph of Cupertino was know to fly
around in the air. It was written in many different sources
during that time. Humans have ESP powers. Everyone does, but a
very few has enough talent to tap into it. There are many
charlatans out there. Heck, 99.99% that claim to be real are
fakes. But one of my friend is a real Psychic and my other
friend has only a close link. You know Ranma, even animals have
psychic abilities. A horse in a stable yard in St. John's,
Newfoundland, Canada. It was around 1955."
"Well, I still won't believe it till I see it." Ranma said.
"Okay."
"But doctor, is my daughter safe?" Soun asked frantically.
"Yes, I believe so..." Tofu said, yet he too was uncertain.
Tendo Akane woke up. She looked around where she was and
thought, "Where am I?" She looked around some more and noticed
that she was at a beach. "How did I get here?" She pondered.
She got up and walked around; she was beginning to get
scared.
The psychics came to the Tendo Dojo and was greeted by Dr.
Tofu. "Hey, thanks for coming on a short notice." Tofu said
smiling.
"Yeah, well since you are a friend of ours." They answered.
"Well, this is the house huh?"
Tofu nodded. "Yup, come on, lets go in."
As soon as one of the psychics started to the door, he
stopped. "This.. this is unreal." The psychic said nervously.
"I have never felt this before."
The other psychics went to the door and felt the same thing.
"You're right, there is a strong psychic connection still left
here."
The Tendos, Saotomes, and Tofu stood there in complete
silence, not knowing what is going on.
The psychics nervously went inside and observed the missing
room.
"This is definitely a psychic phenomena." One of them said.
"I cannot tell how this much energy is felt. Whose room was
this?"
"It was my youngest daughter's room. Is she okay?" Soun
suddenly blurted out.
"Your youngest daughter? Did this happen in the past?"
"No, this was the first time."
"Hmmm." The psychics pondered. "Something must have
triggered her psychic energy. Quick, did something happen to her
earlier today? Anything unusual?"
The entire family thought about the day's happening. "I
don't think so." Ranma said.
"Are you sure? Come on, think!"
"Well,"
"Well?"
"I don't think there was any strange incident she was in."
Ranma finally said.
"Hmmm, this must of happened when she was alone then. In
that case, we can't really do anything."
"What?!" Soun shouted. "What about my daughter!!?"
"Well," One of the psychics said as he lit a cigarette.
"I'm sure she's alive, if not... oh well." Then he blew a smoke
ring.
While everybody was arguing, Nabiki calmly went to the
living room and turned on the TV. "Well, no use being with them.
I should watch some TV." She said as she flipped the channels
with the remote. "Hmmm... Roujin Z is showing at 8:00
tomorrow."
All of a sudden, a news report interrupted a show, "This
just came up, some mysterious force is destroying buildings in
Nerima. The source seems to be from the Nakimoi Beach, near
Nerima, to the metro Nerima District."
Nabiki suddenly lit up. "Hey, come and watch this!! I think
this maybe Akane!!!"
Everybody ran to the living room and saw the news.
"Reports say that this might not be a work of arson, and the
authorities are working on it." The reporter continued.
"Unfortunately, everyone in the rampage has been killed, yet one
person was seen alive at the destruction sites."
"Turn the volume up." Tofu told Nabiki.
"I think she is the source of this mysterious occurrence.
We have the skycam take a picture of her..."
The sky cam was not a good view but it did show a distinct
figure walking across the havoc. Everything in her path was
being destroyed and the figure had the same pattern of Akane's
pajamas.
"That's her!" Kasumi shouted. "That's Akane, I know from
the clothes she's wearing."
"Well, lets go there then!" Ranma yelled as he started for
the door.
"Not so fast." The Psychic stopped him. "You saw how she
was leveling buildings left and right. Also, she was killing
people too, now you think you can go out there, meet her and
survive?"
"She won't kill me, she knows me."
"Hmmm, from the looks of it, she looks like she can't
control her powers, and besides, she looks like she's in a
trance. No normal human being walks like that from seeing
destruction all around her.
"Then what can we do?" The Tendos pleaded.
"Well, I know what we can do... we'll give Ranma some
psychic powers to stop her and to keep him out of your daughter's
harm."
"How.. how are you going to do that?" Ranma asked.
"Come on, lets take you to our university."
They hurriedly drove to the university. The psychics took
Ranma to a lab and made him sit down.
"We've been working on a machine that would enhance one's
psychic ability." One of the psychics said. "And you're going
to be our first test subject."
"Huh?" Ranma asked. "Why don't you guys wear it?"
"Because, like I said, nobody ever wore this. We don't know
if this will be harmful."
"What?!"
"Don't worry, we're pretty sure that this machine is pretty
safe. Beside, I think this will work to someone Akane
recognizes. And I also heard that you are a martial artist. You
already have some spiritual strengths I assume."
"Oh great."
The two psychics took out this big, huge, clunky machine.
"It's not much, but this is our only hope." One of the psychics
said chuckling.
****
Jang: I'm wondering, why does all the fanfics start with "it's a
beautiful day at Nerima? There is no time to finish this fic.
But here's one from Masamune Shiro, Kenichi Sonada, and ohhh...
Mizayaki. But I don't think I have enough time to finish any of
these so I'll save them for later. I probably get to them
someday.
[It's late at night... at Jang's home.]
Jang: Gee, I don't know which story I should post... Hmmmm.... I
guess I'll post all three of them. But since people hate long
stories, I'll just cut each of them in half.
Jang: Okay, at the end, I'll give synopsis of the endings. Here
goes...
Toriyama Akira's story:
Ryouga trains by himself in planet Vegita. ChiChibi continues to
cause havoc at earth. After a day passed, since time travels
slower in Namek and Planet Vegita, the Ranma gang shows up.
ChiChibi and Ranma gang have this huge battle. It looks like the
Ranma gang is in trouble until Ryouga comes back from planet
Vegita, giving the Ranma gang a considerable edge. Another huge
battle starts and the Ranma gang finally wins, barely.
Fujishima Kosuke's story:
Kasumi, Ranma, and Mario have this huge race... Kasumi uses her
brain to get some advantage while Ranma causes them to have some
disadvantage. The race ends in a tie. Mario says he's honored
to have someone actually tie him in a match and forgets about the
promise.
Otomo Katsuhiro's story:
Ranma wears the big, clunky suit and goes to Akane. Akane
recognizes Ranma but can't control the destruction. Finally, one
of the psychic finds out that she is possessed and Ranma finds
out that she was possessed by the man she bumped into that
morning. The man chose Akane because of her "Temper." Ranma
challenges the man for Akane. Chaos, explosions, loss of lives,
and other fun stuff happens. Ranma's machine goes crazy, but he
wins with eh help of everybody.
Jang: There, the summaries of the stories. Don't tell me to
post the whole story, I'm tired of translating their stories.
Oh, you didn't know I was translating their stories? Well, they
are Japanese you know. Who knows, I might translate the rest of
the stories and might post the whole thing, if I feel like it.
Oh well, time
to log off. Oh, I looked at that Mizayaki story and it was
called
"Stepping Stones." Benares stole Mizayaki's work!!!
-Fin.
Author's Comments:
Jang: I'm back, you know this fanfic took a year to complete.
It took me a year to translate these lost Ranma stories. Oh
well, I'll never ask anyone again to write fanfics for me again.
I'll just stick to my own ideas.
Send C & C to yinyang@altered.com or if that doesn't work,
Piccolo@cyber.atlanta.com
Fanfics being worked on or completed:
Obsession
Personalities Part 1, 2, and 3
Personalities Too part 1, 2, and 3
Other Personalities Parts 1-6
Fanfiction
Simple Twist of Fate
Elsewords?
Bile Parodies:
Peter's Journey
Anime Awards
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction
Bile Ranma 1/2 OAV's:
The Harvard Graduate
DoCo (Thanks to Waverly Pierre)
The Great Chase
A sequel to The Harvard Graduate that I haven't thought of the
title yet.
Non Ranma fanfics:
Tekken the Movie
Mermaid's Ashes.
Ranma 1/2 (C) Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan/Kitty Fuji TV. 1996
all rights deserved.
Toriyama Akira courtesy of Sheiusha
Fujishima Kosuke courtesy of Kodansha
Otomo Katsuhiro courtesy of Kodansha