Oops... sorry if I sent this twice.

   Would Kasumi call him Ranma-chan? I thought onna-Ranma was more 
standard Japanese.

	Hadn't thought of that.  Thanks.  Actually, what _does_ she call him?
 

     "No." a voice sighed.  Nabiki froze, wondering who had spoke,
then realised it was Ranma, muttering in his sleep.  Now, _that_
was odd... Ranma had _never_ spoken in his sleep, not in the dozen
or so times she'd conducted these little photo shoots.  Obviously

    Okay, is Ranma awake at this time? You state at the end that Ranma 
woke up after Nabiki took her first photo, but here, she hasn't taken one 
yet. Just a small inconsistency.

	Actually, I wanted to leave that ambiguous.  When _does_ he wake 
up?  Is he still asleep when he whispers Akane's name?  A clumsy attempt 
at trying to add a little mystery or something... but I'll work on it in 
the rewrite.

    Okay, this paragraph is probably the one you can significantly 
shorten to cut down the ending. You may even be able to get away with 
leaving it out completely.

	Yeah, you're right.  Thanks again!
 

Raphael See

	Thanks for the C&C... it helps!

	-Mike