Subject: Re: [FFML] Ranmafan
From: Otaku@nashville.com (James Bateman)
Date: 8/7/1996, 1:13 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com
CC: m9305575%iwaki@student.anu.edu.au



Ranma: Miyaka, (looks at Akane) Miyaka oh wait I know her, yeah oh,
but wait weren't we supposed to get engaged or something.

               ************************************************
Kunou stands diligently by the statue of the principal.

Kunou: Ahhh my heart doth do bleed in anticipation of the approach of
my beloved Akane Tendo.  Truly one such as I is not worthy of feelings
of such ........

Kunou's sililouquie is cut short by a panicked Ranma as he barrels
through the Kendo swordsman.  In hot pursuit is a very steamed Akane,
carrying a rather large mallet.

Ranma: I was kidding! I was kidding! I was kidding! I was kidding!
Akane: Die You!!!

BWAAAAAHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!  Perfect!  Abso-LUTE-ly in character.



Ranma: Nyaaaaa Akane's gonna get creamed, Akane's gonna get creamed!
Akane: DIE RANMA!!!!
Ranma: Nyaaaa ooof

Genma hits Ranma in the back of the head with one of his signs, allowing
Akane the opening she was looking for.  She beats Ranma to a pulp.

Yup!  Zen can see it!



Akane: Forget it you can have him for all I care.

But does she mean it?


Miyaka: Ahhh so you concede defeat already, truly that was your wisest
course.  You would only have been defeated.
Akane: What did you say?
Miyaka: I don't think you could have won the contest.  I would have
beaten you easily.
Akane: Oh I see. You think your better looking than I am do you?
Miyaka: Well.. obviously...
Akane: Forget it sister, I'm in.

Ahh. Thought not!


Ukyou: Hey this doesn't make any sense, there should be more to this
than just beauty. I mean what about love?
Miyaka: Pah who cares about love, only popularity is important.
Ukyou: (thinking) If she wins the contest, Ranchan will be doomed to a
loveless relationship for life.  I can't let that happen. (out-loud)
Count me in sugar.

Zen really likes this bit... But then Zen is a drooling, slobbering Ukyou
fan-boy.



Miyaka steps from the shadows.  Once again she has changed outfit and
is wearing a tight little Chinese number.  Her hair is done up in a tight
bun on either side of her head.

Oh ho!  Chun-Li lives - were the other descriptions anime cameos as well?
If so, Who?



Genma: Turn it off!!! Turn it off!!! I cant take it any more.
Nabiki: Good lord.
Kasumi: Oh my.
Genma: I had no idea that Martial Arts could be used for such...
such... evil!
Soun: I have seen hell and thy name is Martial Arts beauty Pageant.
Ranma: Akane is going to get creamed!
Soun: WWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ranma: That girl Miyaka said that Akane, Ukyou and the others had already
accepted the challenge.

Ohhh yes... this is gonna be GREAT!

The characterizations are excellent - Well handled, and consistent.  The
Ranma/Akane fight scenes are a lot of fun - Zen can easily visualize these
two acting *just* this way.  Kunous dialogue is also particularly well
written...

Keep it up!  Zen will be looking forward to seeing how Kunou reacts,
between Ranma's theft of yet *another* of his love interests, and the fact
that the new ex-girlfriend wants to kill the two girls he still obsesses
over...

Zen *does* note one minor grammatical error...  You consistently use "your"
where "you're" is appropriate.  The rest, your spellchecker should catch.
Well done.

Welcome to the end of Chapter 1. O.K I realise not much has happened but
hey I'm just setting the scene.

And well set it was, too!  Zen is looking forward to *this*


Chapter 2 may take awhile then again it may not, depends on how busy I am.
I would appreciate any comments you may have so if you would be so kind as
to mail me on m9305575%iwaki@student.anu.edu.au

It better NOT take too long! ^_^
People around here get kinda testy when someone starts an interesting fic
and then takes forever to finish it....

Git ta work! ^_^  Now!!  Stat!!  Schnell!!

Zen-

***************************************************************************
[[                  James Bateman (Otaku@nashville.com)                  ]]
[[ -The experiment has begun - A million monkeys at a million keyboards- ]]
[[                     ^_^ We call it the UseNet ^_^                     ]]
***************************************************************************