From:        Chris Willmore, willmore@mail.idt.net

Credits:                        WARNING! *ahem* FANFIC!

Based on characters and situations created by Rumiko Takahashi
Inspired by Marisa Price's "A Lesson in Love: Part 10"
(Found at http://value.net/~marisa/lesson.html)

Now, without further ado...

WITHIN THE CANDLE-FLAME
-Christopher Willmore

Ahem. <Sigh> You really *are* twisted, aren't you? I'm not really sure 
what to think of this one.

That being said... though the writing was pretty good, some of the double 
entendres you used were a little too pointed, and gave away the ending 
before you probably wanted to. You might want to emphasize some of them 
-- especially the early ones -- just a little less.

	"What's wrong?!? ANSWER ME! Are you all right?" Tears filled her
eyes. "I... I NEED you, Ryouga... There's... There's no one ELSE that
can fill me like you can..."
	"FILL you?"
	Ryouga's nose started to throb...
	<Baka, that's NOT what she means, and you KNOW it.>

Case in point. By emphasizing that she doesn't mean *ahem*, you focus the 
mind on other possibilities... and (at least where I grew up) 'fill' is 
rarely used for emotional fulfillment, these days.

	And then, the pain as she bit into him.
	He should have screamed, or shouted, or pulled away,
but.... He relished it, ENJOYED the novelty of welcoming such a
sensation...  Ranma's chestnut punches didn't come close to
this... Sharp shrapnel, sometimes, but...  There was friendship,
and promise of more, mixed in with this...
	At length, the farmer-girl pulled back, with bloody lips.
She smiled again as her Ryouga-sama rubbed his mouth, and licked
the reddish tincture off her own.

<Sigh encore> Sick. <Walks off, shaking his head>

...

<Snaps fingers> Oh, I nearly forgot! Where's the latest installment of 
That Other Fanfic... <evil g>



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

...Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.