You are one sick puppy, Chris, and I mean that in the nicest way.
This was certainly...different. I admit, it didn't fool me a bit, but
it did make me feel weird - like I was watching an episode of "Tales
from the Crypt".
At the risk of sounding sick myself, I'd say play up the actual killing
a little more. Show us something of Ryoga's helplessness, his struggle
to get away, the horror washing over him, and the helpless fear...
<shudder>
Now I'm doing it to myself.
Go back and work on your other stuff, while you're at it. :)