Here I am, Piccolo. (Using a new e-mail address)
Remember those C&C I sent out a few months ago? No?! Well, here it is again. I updated a few ratings and added new C&C near the end...
Here is my version of Fanfic Reviews. I will be reviewing every
single fanfiction that I can find. The only exceptions are the ones I
wrote and anything that is in the middle of a many part series that I
haven't started from the beginning.
The rating system is simple. 1 being bad and 10 being perfect.
GRAMMAR: Everybody should get at least a 7 on this. I'm not
grading a term paper, so I won't be looking for every single specific
punctuation mistake. The 7-10 is based on how your paragraph is organized. If you scored 6 or under, you need to proof your paper at least 20 times.
STORY: This is the overall story, plot. If it's a good story or
a bad story is all based on me. Originality has nothing to do with
this. Someone can write a unoriginal story but make it fabulous than an author who writes some crappy yet an original story. Originality will give you like a 0.5 points.
CHARACTERS: How are the characters handled? How good are they
developed? I also give a few points if they are true to the original but
that doesn't really matter.
Now, this is the basic three: Humor, Drama, and Lemon. This
will help you choose what type of story you might want to read if you were
going to choose a certain type.
HUMOR: How funny the fanfic is.
DRAMA: If it is dramatic or has a dramatic scene, it will get a
mark.
LEMON: The higher the rating the more explicit, erotic, or how
well it's handled. If one of those basic three is missing, that means it
had none.
OVERALL: My rating of the fanfic as a whole. This shows if I
liked the story or not.
THE ATTRACTIVENESS FACTOR PT 1 & 2
by PhoneyNT
*Grammar: 7 Not very well structured in the beginning.
*Story: 7 Another story about Shampoo getting Ranma. A bit of
twist is added though.
*Characters: 6 You can make Ukyo a killer, you can make Shampoo nice, THE FAMILY
By Richard Lawson
*Grammar: 6 This is the first draft I read so the grammar should
be bad. Also, even though this is the first draft, don't put Japanese if
you don't know how you uses it! It make me cringe every time Kasumi called
her younger siblings oneechan. Also, I really didn't decoded this
from MIME.
*Story: 9 Very Nice
*Characters: 9 Travel through the mind of Kasumi and it was very
very good. This fanfic will be the basis of some my future fanfics.
*Drama: 8
*Overall: 9 Just learn some Japanese and you'll be all right. Of
course, I never did read the final version....
THE UY CONNECTION
by Karl Rim
*Grammar: ? Too funny to think about grammar
*Story: 9 really cool crossover
*Characters: 9 read it... nuff said
*Humor: 9 I thought this was extremely funny stuff. Of course
you have to know the characters.
*Overall: 9
THE MISADVENTURES OF THE FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT
by Pearson Mui
*Grammar: 8 no big problems little confusing few times
*Story. 7 I really like it from the beginning, but when he and his
sister started kicking the character's butts... it got way out of
hand.
*Characters: 6 This guy is too perfect. Beth is more perfect..
makes me sick
*Humor: 5 Only thing funny about this was that flawlessness of
Pat
*Overall: 6.5 I love these type stories, but I think Pat went a
little too far. It made me sick near the end on how perfect he was.
Not to mention Beth. She was more perfect than the main character. It
was funny in the beginning, and I was beginning to like this character, but
he became too perfect. This guy's character was so perfect, he made Crys
Schroeder look like Ataru (from Urusei Yatsura) Still, thanks to this
story, I wrote my parody Peter's Journey.
FIGHTING RANMA. THE SERIOUS ANIME- THE STORY IF THE CURSED NINJA
WARRIOR.
by Gretton
*Grammar: 8 No big mistakes that I saw.
*Story: 7 gets old after a while
*Characters: 7
*Humor: 7 Funny in the beginning, but it kinda dissipated near
the end
*Overall: 7
THE KO RYU 18 STEPS PT 1-3
by David Gao.
*Grammar: 8 I saw some mistakes here and there
*Story: 6. Another kidnapped Akane and Ranma save her type plot
*Characters: 8
*Overall: 6
RANMA 1/2: Girls' Night Out
by Jeffrey Paul Hosmer
*Grammer: 8
*Story: 5 a yawner
*Character: 6 I'm not sure about that Ukyou character... she
seemed to be not herself lately
*Overall: 5
"COULD IT BE? AT LAST THE NANNICHUAN!"
by S. James
*Grammer: 8
*Story: 8
*Characters: 8
*Humor: 8
*Overall: 8 Nice story. It's your typical fighting tournament type plot.
Those are always entertaining unless you over do it.
AH!! RANMA-SAMA?? PT 1
by Richard Beaubien
*Grammer: 5 Spell check.
*Story: 7
*Characters: 7
*Humor: 6
*Overall: 7 My first OMG & Ranma crossover. I liked it the first time.
RANMA 1/2 SPECIAL: THE MASTER OF THE DRUNKEN FIST
by Chris J. Randolph
*Grammar: 8
*Story: 9 It's one of those villain of the week type story. Hey,
if I like Dragon Ball, I should like this story. And it is well
written too I might add. I wonder if he finished this.
*Character: 7
*Overall: 8 I want the next part!! It's a cool story. This
influenced the Mantis Fang fanfic by S.C. (It's not out yet.)
CHRONO TRIGGER 1/2 PT 1-2
by Don Wang
*Grammar: 7 You got the basics down cold. Don't use <> in
expressing thought in a non script format; it's kinda annoying.
*Story: 6 What the heck was the ending? Ranma dies or something?
The Akane and Robo dialogues were good though.
*Characters: 6 Ok, the Chrono Trigger gang was too strong, I mean
they are not Dragonball Z people. Ranma seemed to be not himself that
day. If Ranma did die at the end, that is unreal. I don't think Ranma
will be that reckless into a fight. I mean, Ranma and gang should put up
a better fight I thought. This is a straight forward story. None of the basic threes.
*Overall: 6
RANMA 1/2: DAYDREAMS
by Christian Gadeken
*Grammer: 9
*Story: 8 It could have been longer.
*Characters: 8
*Lemon: 1 Just hinted.
*Overall: 7 Short but entertaining
FURIKAN SUMMER PARTS 2 & 3
by John Biles
*Grammar: 8. I saw a few mistakes
*Story: 9.8 Excellent, excellent, excellent.
*Characters: 9 They develop extremely nicely
*Humor: 8 Some parts are I thought extremely funny.
*Overall: 9.99 Definitely one of the top ten Fanfics written in
my category. It's up there with Elseworlds, Stepping Stones, and
Crys Saga. (Hey, I loved Crys Saga okay!?)
THE CRYS SAGA THE WHOLE THING
by Chris Schumacher
*Grammar: 6
*Story: 9 Otaku wish fulfillment at its finest
*Character: 9 Loooong story helps this to develop the number of
characters Chris created.
*Humor: 9 Some are stupid, some are funny, and some were stupid-
funny. Few John Biles type humor also.
*Overall. 9 A classic. There were storied like this written
before this, but I think this is the best one out there.
RESOLUTIONS 1- ALL GOOD THINGS
by Plunger
*Grammar: 7 Hmmm, I saw some spelling errors.
*Story: 8.8 Nice story. Flowed nicely
*Character: 6.9 Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou seemed to be themselves.
Others... I thought you exaggerated a little. Wow, Kasumi has a
dark side to her, she says "whatever," "hush," and such....
and not a mention of "Oh my.." I'm not saying that she should be
like that, but if she has more than one line... let her talk the way her
character is portrayed. Of course, I shouldn't say that because I was very
liberal with Kasumi in my fanfics. Oh... you want to see an example of
this use of Kasumi, read "Heart Of the Family." I didn't give you a 6.9
cuz of Kasumi. A lot more factors went in also.
*Humor: 4 not much
*Drama: 4 not much of that either
*Lemon: 0.8 the part when Shampoo and Ranma went on the date. :)
*Overall. 8.2 " John Biles: For writing the brilliant "Putting
Your Heart in the Right Place" and causing me to say, "I can do that!"
maybe not as well)." That's strange, I said that when I read
"Elseworlds." You obviously have few of John Biles's style. But the difference between John's and yours is the way he treats his characters.
But be different, use your own particular style. Oh yea, I love happy endings as much as tragic ones. I liked your ending. This is very very nice.
CHILDHOOD'S END
by Lizsue
*Grammar: 6 Needs to be better organized. Caping all of the
letters in Character's names really hurt the flow I think... for me anyway.
*Story: 7 Interesting story... it could have been better if it
was more organized. The story flow was a little choppy.
*Characters: 6
*Humor: 5 Not much of it
*Drama: 8 That ending was... I don't know how to put it.
*Overall: 6.9 Ranma dies.... cool! I was waiting till that day
came. But in a way, a sad ending. But I don't know if that was
intended to be a sad ending or not. I felt, when I was reading this, that
you didn't really care about this fanfic.
HEMISPHERES PT 1-5
by Chris Schumacher
*Grammar: 8
*Story: 9 Very good ending I thought.
*Characters: 7
*Humor: 9 Lots and lots of obscure jokes. I couldn't get all of
them, but they are funny. I love evil Ranma's personality.
*Drama: 8 The ending is dramatic enough
*Overall: 9 This is the most common storyline for Ranma other
than Ranma and Akane's Wedding. Basic twin/evil twin type story. This
is like Benear's excellently unfinished "Two Sides of a Coin" and
Takahashi's own version. The Takahashi's I couldn't get (Probably my Japanese deficiency), Benears's was excellent, and this was good maybe
better than Benears's. Good job, Chris.
KODACHI 1/2 - JUSENKYO MUYO! : FIRST NIGHT (and a day)
By Christopher Willmore
*Grammar: 7
*Story: 8 only the first part, could get interesting.
*Character: 7
*Humor: 2 Yawn, was that suppose to be a joke?
*Drama: 0.00003 Ohhh, Ranma's apparent death
*Overall: 7 Good but not great
RANMA 1/2
KODIAK'S FATE
By Ento.
*Grammar: 4 You capitalize proper nouns you know. Spell check
if you have it. Other mistakes that should have been corrected.
*Story: 5 I read this somewhere... Ah!! The Crys Saga!!
*Character: 5 Gee, that Kodiak is too ignorant for my taste.
(Sorry)
*Humor: 4
*Drama: 0.1 if you count the atom bomb explosion
*Overall: 5 Your first fanfic. My first was also a Crys Saga
type fanfic. I realized how stupid and similar it was to the Crys
Saga, I rewrote the whole thing and made it a parody. You'll do better
later on, trust me..
KIMAGURE ORANGE ROAD: WHO DO YOU LOVE PART 1
by Kokoro
*Grammar: 7
*Story: 6 Lemon story.
*Character: 6 This is a Lemon story, they are not suppose to act
themselves. Although the first few paragraphs seemed to be similar to the
manga.
*Humor: I didn't see any
*Drama: 5 eh,
*Lemon: 5
*Overall: 5.9 Not good enough to get a 6. I have to see pt 2
for that. Lemon story and it was pretty boring except the Orange Road- ness
in the beginning.
THE CRYS SAGA OAV PT 1: TOFU ONO RULES
by Chris Schumacher
*Grammar: 8
*Story: 6 Yaaawwwnn. Not like the original Crys Saga. Pretty
bland stuff. Unoriginal storyline.
*Characters: 6 Wow, Tofu drinking. Crys and Ranma drinking. I
never knew Ranma characters cussed that much.
*Humor: 7 Not as funny as the original one.
*Overall: 6. Not one of Chris's good ones. I felt that he really
didn't wanted work on this. I felt that this was for his enjoyment not
the audience's This is not like a Ranma fic. Hmm, I wondered what
happened?
ACE OF HEARTS
by S. James
*Grammar: 8
*Story: 8 good story for a first timer
*Character: 8 intact with the Takahashi universe
*Humor: 8
*Overall: 8 I seen this story before. It was called Big Trouble
in Nekonron China. But still enjoyable.
BACK IN '69
by Phoney NT
*Grammar: 8
*Story: 6 Weird as hell. Too weird to my taste.
*Character: 7 hmmm... ah! hmmm...
*Humor: 5
*Drama: 2 The death of Akane! woo hoo
*Lemon: 3 That talk about 69 and some other nice stuff.
*Overall: 7 I read this, and either I'm not fully awake. I
couldn't understand this story. Except when Akane dies, and Ranma story, because it actually
sounds like a Japanese person wrote it. Excellent for KOR fans.
RANMA 1/2 OKONOMIYAKI ORGY
by some unknown author
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 8
*Story: 8 hahahhahah funny stuff.
*Humor: 8 lots of western/eastern type cartoon humor
*Lemon: 7 Not heavy duty, but funny
*Overall: 8 The funniest Lemon story I read.
PUTTING YOUR HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE
by John Biles
*Grammar: 7 Structure seemed a little weak in the beginning.
*Characters: 7 Unlike Biles. Maybe this is his first story... or
was it Elseworlds?
*Story: 9 Excellent. Haven't read a bad Biles story yet.
*Humor: 6 Not much..
*Drama: 8 I found this too be more dramatic then humorous.
*Lemon: .1 all that necking and smooching...
*Overall: 9. Unfortuanly I read Furikan Summer before I read
this. So I knew what was going to happen. Still, excellent piece of
reading. I found this to be more dramatic and even philosophical. A
definite good read. Another good job, Mr. Biles.
PRINCE AND THE LECHER
by sysop@newberry.edu
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 7 I don't think they'll immediately jump into
those.. you know.. but it is a lemon.
*Story: 7 Nice long story. Of course, the plot could have been
without the lemon scenes.
*Humor: 1 couldn't find but few.
*Drama: 6
*Lemon: 8 you left almost nothing to the imagination
*Overall: 7 ehh, if you want a good lemon read this, and it has
that usually save the girl type plot.
CRYS SAGA OAV CHAPTER 2
by Chris Schumacher
*Grammar: 8 well, only thing from the original that's changed.
*Characters: 7 I think the characters will be developed the
"Schumacher" way in the next few issues.
*Story: 7 The plot is okay, but it is poorly executed. I think
Chris is probably want to develop it more in the later chapters.
*Humor: 5 Not that funny
*Drama: 1
*Lemon: 0.1 That bush scene with Nabiki and ??
*Overall: 6 Still not good yet.
SHAMPOO 1/2: CAT'S CRADLE
by Benares
*Grammar: 8
*Characters: 8 Yowza's character was really well done. I loved
the animal talking stuff that he did.
*Story: 9 Benares is an excellent writer, and he shows it here.
Very good piece of fanfiction.
*Humor: 8
*Drama: 7
*Overall: 9 This story is awesome. One of the best Benares works
I have ever read. You must read this if you like American
cartoons as much as anime. Excellent, this is why Benares beats
Stefan Gagne in fanfic writing in my opinion.
QUENTIN TARANTINO'S RANMA 1/2
by Stefan Gagne
*Grammar: 8
*Characters: 9 Yes, this is how the characters are suppose to be
handled in these types of fics. Very good.
*Story: 9 Yeah yea, I know this is Pulp Fiction, I've seen that
movie a hundred times. However, adding Ranma characters to it
seemed to make it better.
*Humor: 8 Pulp Fictions was funny itself... now with Ranma
characters..
*Overall: 9 A very good crossover. Recommended for Pulp Fiction
fans. Only thing that is missing is the swearing.
RANMA1/2: MOUSSE'S LOVE
by Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong
*Grammar: 8
*Characters: 6 Mousse was handled great. Shampoo... I don't
know...
*Story: 7 short but sweet.
*Drama: 8 oh yea, this is not a funny, airy fanfic.
*Overall: 7 Good, but not great.
RAGING MOUSSE
by Brian Gilmore
*Grammar: 9 that beginning was great
*Characters: 8 Mousse is handled perfectly, but Rusty was not.
Rusty looked like another author in fanfic.
*Story: 8 good
*Drama: 9 man, that beginning was dramatic enough.
*Overall: 8 This is real good. Too bad he's never going to
finish it. It's kinda like a short, better version of Obsession.
THE KIDNAPPER OF BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
by Eleanor Harrison
*Grammar: 5 Proof read at least 1000 times
*Characters: 6 handled in a good way.
*Story: 6 This is called "Nihao My Concubine" with different a
kidnapper.
*Humor: 3
*Overall: 5 Not bad for a 10 year old. She might get real good
in the years to come because she already has a jump start on this
fanfic business. Of course, if you consider fanfic a business.
:)
LOST LOVE: A RANMA 1/2 STORY
by Lucas Muzzatti
*Grammar: 9
*Characters: 8
*Story: 7 short and to the point.
*Drama: 7 Wow, this goes straight to the point... "Akane was
dead." It leaves no surprises. Well, it dead, I was expecting a
nice slow flowing fanfic then BOOM!
*Overall: 7 This could have done two ways. I would of just made
this into a 50+ page story that describes the battle, develop the
relation between Akane and Ranma more, then kill Akane off
slowly. However, your method was extremely effective. Nice job.
RANMA 1/2: THE PAIN INSIDE: PART 1
by Scott Baker
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 7 too early to tell though.
*Story: 7 What do you know? Another death of Akane story.
*Drama: 7 What showed more of Ranma's emotion? This or Lost
Love? Hmmmm
*Overall: 7 I read this right after I read Lost Love. And I just
thought I was reading the same thing. Only difference is that
this is only the first part and how Akane died was not revealed.
WHAT A COUPLE OF DIPS!
by Joe Rispoli and Mike Termena
*Grammar: 8
*Characters: 7
*Story: 7 Good. One question, what would of happened if Ranma
dipped himself into the Nanichuiian after it was permanent?
*Humor: 4
*Drama: 4
*Overall: 7 Interesting story.
A ROSE ON THE GREY
by Scott Johnson
*Grammar: 9
*Characters: 8 interesting look into Kodachi
*Story: 5 Was there one?
*Overall: 7 Short. Was it meant to be this short?
AKANE TAKES TO THE WATER
by Plunger
*Grammar: 9
*Characters: 8
*Story: 8 Nice original flavor
*Humor: 5 But not like Takahashi
*Overall: 7 Basic Ranma story. However, I think Plunger is one
of the best author that writes in the original flavor style.
ANOTHER KIDNAP?! COME ON?!
by Plunger
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 7 GCV ha ha
*Story: 7 this could of been a parody
*Humor: 5 I seen too much Tiny Toons and Animanics to laugh at
this one.
*Overall: 7 Another basic story by Plunger.
YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER! PART ONE-TWO
by Martha McMahon
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 7
*Story: 6
*Humor: 6 nice tries at humor
*Overall: 6
MANUAL NOT INCLUDED PART ONE
by Richard Lawson
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 8 This Richard guy is interesting
*Story: 7
*Humor: 6 Really boring in the beginning, but got interesting.
*Overall: 7
SHADOW
by Nick Maragos
*Grammar: 9 very professional like
*Characters: 9 Excellent interpretation of Shadow and Baram
*Story: 9 very nice
*Drama: 7
*Overall: 8.9 Nick Maragos is the best Squaresoft writer out
there. I wonder if he works for Square?
SABIN
by Nick Maragos
*Grammar: 8
*Characters: 9
*Story: 8 Another good one.
*Drama: 7
*Overall: 8 Basic story about Sabin after he left the Figaro
Castle.
KEFKA'S HATE
by Tony2259
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 6
*Story: 6
*Overall: 6 Okay, this is scaring me. Tony's writing style is
very similar to mine in my earlier days. I wonder if I wrote
this horrible story.
CHRONO TRIGGER 1/2 PART FOUR
by Don Wang
*Grammar: 7 I'm getting used to that <> thing for thoughts
*Characters: 7 Ohhh, I didn't know that Lucca was that cold.
*Story: 7 Well, it's a story with another fighting. So far, all
4 parts of this fanfic was fighting. At least this had a reason
for the fight.
*Overall: 6 It needs to get better.
THAT FANFIC TERRYMARK WROTE WITH ENTOMORPH
by Terrence "The Human Mellotron" Marks and Entomorph
*Grammar: 6
*Characters: 7
*Story: 5 I felt that story didn't flow. It felt like a bunch of
chopped up scenes.
*Humor: 5 Nice try.
*Overall: 5 Give it a title, and what is the plot suppose to be
about? Is it about tornados in Japan?
NATURE OF THE HENTAI
by ? (I think it's by Foxtrot the Furryous)
*Grammar: 6
*Characters: 8 Kodachi is well shown
*Story: 8 I actually liked this story
*Humor: 2
*Overall: 8 Good story.
RANMA 1/2 TWO SIDES OF THE COIN PT 1-2
by Benares
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 9 Benares really does a good job handling both
Ranmas.
*Story: 9 Excellent.
*Humor: 7
*Drama: 8
*Overall: 9 I really wished Benares finished this. This is one
of my all time favorites. A classic. Chris Schumacher also did
a similar story, they equal out in quality; however, Chris's
story is a little better because it is finished. I'm sure that
this would have been a lot better if this was finished.
UNTITLED
by JW Biles
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 7 handled in the usual Bile fashion
*Story: 8
*Humor: 5
*Overall: 8 Not finished so I don't know if this gets any better.*
TOSHINDEN: ARENA OF DESTINY PT ONE.
by Serdar Yegulalp
*Grammar: 9
*Characters: 8 I don't know anything about Toshinden, but they
were believable.
*Story: 7 Good so far
*Overall: 7 A basic story.
RANMA VS THE JOKER
by Vegita1941. (AKA S.C.)
(quick note) I mentioned in the beginning, that I won't review my
fanfics. Well, that includes anything done by and with Bile
Studios. S.C. (Formerly Vegita1941) is my brother. And he
refuses to put the Bile Studios sign on his fanfics, even though
I edit his work (One exception is his GEL story). However, I
never edited his Ranma vs Joker story. So, here is my review for
his first fanfic.
*Grammar: 3 he didn't proof it. I know.
*Characters: 7 Joker, Harley, and Batman was handled great. But
the others were not.
*Story: 5 This really went nowhere.
*Humor: 9 This is funny just for how horrible this is. But there
are moments that are funny only to me and my brother, for we have
weird sense of humor.
*Overall: 4 The best candidate for the worst fanfic of 1995/1996.
ELSWORLDS; ACE VENTURA, QUEST FOR P-CHAN PART 1
by ranma@tendo-dojo.ranma.net (I think)
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 7 Ace acts more like the cartoon, I felt, than the
movie version.
*Story: 6
*Humor: 4 Yawwwwnnn.. was that suppose to be funny? I'll give
you credit for trying.
*Overall: 6
THE UNTOLD STORIES OF KIMAGURE ORANGE ROAD: SUMMER CRUISE.
CHAPTERS 6-13
by Daniel C. Harrison
*Grammar: 8
*Characters: 9
*Story: 9
*Drama: 7
*Overall: 9.9 Wow, this is the best story I have ever read of
any kind. It really has that Matsumoto Izumi taste to it. Great
ending, this is an incredible fanfic. Great new characters,
excellent conflict, just great. A extreme must for KOR fans.
You must read this if you are a KOR fan. Oh yea, this would have
been a perfect 10 if it weren't for the looooong ending. The
ending is too long. Two climaxes (sp?) then resolution,
denouncement, ect ect. I was wondering when this will end. I
WASN'T hoping for an epilogue. But other than that, still
excellent.
THE PANDA-KING PART 1-3
by Karl Rim
*Grammar: 8
*Characters: 7 Karl really exaggerated their stubborness and stupidlity
*Story: 8
*Humor: 6
*Overall: 7
CHINESE SAMOURI PART 1-6
by Jack Ji
*Grammar: 6
*Characters: 8 Jack, Hanny, and Mike actually seem lke real people, cuz
they are!
*Story: 7 OMG and Ranma crossover? I don't think so. This another author
in story type fic.
*Humor: 6
*Overall: 8 Despite what I heard, this is pretty good so far. I haven't
gotten to the part where Mousse is killed tho. Oh well, time to read
the other chapters.
FOURTH WALL
by Stefan Gagne in reality, but he didn't write it.
*Grammar: 7
*Characters: 7
*Story: 6 Seems like another slam against "Crys Saga" type fics
*Humor: 7
*Lemon: 2
*Overall: 7 Interesting style in the beginning, almost poetic