Subject: Re: [HUMOR] Anime Olympic Events (fwd)
From: Harvey Torrance Griffin
Date: 8/3/1996, 3:52 PM
To: fanfic@tendo-dojo.ranma.net

On 2 Aug 1996, Ryan Mathews wrote:
Okay, people have talked about the "Anime Olympic" team, how about the
Anime Olympics themselves?

Opening Ceremonies: Host -- Mega-Tokyo.  All the athletes march into
the stadium under flags representing their respective series.  At the
pivotal moment, Master of Ceremonies Quincy lights the torch in an
unorthodox way: a surgical strike from an orbital defense weapon.  The
commentator mentions that a mis-aim would have wiped out half the
audience, but no one seems to mind.
	*chortle*

Events:

Olympic Space Battle:  The shortest gold metal match in history pits
the SDF-1 versus the Yamato.  Once the main gun and wave-motion cannon
have both been fired, the winner is determined by counting the metric
tons of debris remaining.  Winner: the SDF-1 by 6 kg!

	Olympic Mecha Battle (Deep Space): Veterans from Team Macross and
Team Gundam are humbled by the Gunbuster in the second shotest match (the 
Silver and Bronze were awarded to their next of kin)

Women's sorcery - Gold medal match pits Urd vs...  Actually, I'm kinda
stumped here.  Any help?
	Miyu, Pai, and/or Sakura-sensei might show up... whether they 
survive is another matter ;)

	Men's Sorcery: Dark Schneider easily takes the gold in this 
event, but the IOC gives Team Ranma's Gosunkugi Hikaru a special award on 
his hospital bed for actually having the guts to show up.

	Women's Fencing: Saotome Nodoka takes the gold after coming out of 
retirement for twin upset victories against Team Tenchi's Ryoko and Team 
Rayearth's Ryuuzaki Umi

	Freestyle Mecha/Battlesuit Design: Sylia Stingray edges out 
favorites B-Ko and Skuld for the gold by shutting them out of the 
'Survivability' and 'Durability' catgories.

	Woman's Sharpshooting: After Ran, Kei, and Benten were 
disqualified in the first round for using Bazookas, Team Tenchi's Mihoshi 
wins the gold after hitting three targets she was not even looking at 
(Rally Vincent is protesting the judges' decision)

Girl Chasing - Possibly the most popular event.  The kickoff to the
event is held in secret, and the event then lasts three days.  The
contestant bringing back evidence of the most female encounters wins. 
Ataru Moroboshi, with his time honored "hit on every girl in sight"
method, is favored to repeat, with strong challenges from CITY HUNTER's
Ryo Saeba and ANGEL's Keisuke.  However, due to a rule change which
allows female undergarments to be accepted as evidence, expect a strong
showing from Happosai.
	
	Freestyle Man Attracting: The finals were one of the closest in 
the games, with judges forced to examine the mental stability of Akane's 
and Lum's  respective collections.  Unfortunately, Kuno Tatewaki's 
polygamist tendencies finally gave the gold to the Oni princess.

	Freestyle Woman Attracting: Veteran Saotome Ranma lost the gold to
Masaki Tenchi after a fairly brief deliberation by the judges ("Sorry
kid," one judge noted, "He has his own great-aunt, an immortal mad
scientist, and a wooden starship after him... not even _you_ can top
that!")

Any other events worth mentioning?

HTG