On Sat, 20 Jul 1996 19:51:06 -0400 (EDT) Mike Noakes wrote:

:                            One Bad Day
:
:      You had a bad day once, am I right?  I know I am.  I can tell.
: You had a bad day and everything changed.
:       Why else would you dress up like a flying rat?
: -     The Joker, from The Killing Joke.

Good book.  I've got both the english original and the german
translation.  The original has the *real* text, and the
translation has better printing on good paper stock. :)

:      "Maybe... maybe if I turned into a panda, like Pop, or a duck,
: like Mousse, or a pi... " he hesitated for a moment.  "... or even
: into some kinda monster, like Taro, it wouldn't so bad.  But a
: girl?"
:      "What?  You'd rather turn into a... a monster, instead of
: a..." said Akane, angrily.
:      "YES!" shouted Ranma.  "At least a monster doesn't have
: perverts trying to fondle him!  A least a monster doesn't feel like
: his masculinity is slipping away from him!  A least... at least a
: monster can go HOME!"

Very good insight.  If you turn into something *obviously*
strange, everybody agrees that it's bad.  But if you just change
your sex, they come up with "Oh, that's not so bad.  You look
cute, by the way."


:      "I don't need your help!  I don't need _anyone's_ help!  I'm
: a g... I'm... I..."  Akane tried tuning his angry voice out.  She
: couldn't.  She realised that she was crying.  "So... so leave me
: alone!  You hear me?  Don't you understand?  You stupid..."
:      She reached the top.
:      "...violent...
:      She pulled herself up.
:      "...Kawaikune...
:      She stood.
:      "...TOMBOY..."
:      She started to walk home.
:      "DON'T LEAVE!"

Wonderful!  This is *so* true.  And it's so much like Akane, that
he has to spell out for her that he doesn't *really* want her to
leave.


: argument today - did he mean that?  Was that a threat?  He had come
: close to hitting Shampoo today... and Ryoga was still recovering
: from the brutal beating Ranma had given him.  Akane felt a sudden
: twinge of fear.[Bleah.  change - work on]

Yes, do.


:      Akane sighed.  So they hadn't really made any progress after
: all.  And yet... _he_ had called to _her_, asked her to stay.  Why?
: To tell her he was leaving?  Or to... to convince him to stay?[put
: elsewhere?]

I think so.  Let her have that last thought a bit later in the
conversation.  But then again, he *doesn't* really want that, so
you just might leave it here.


:      [She took a deep breath to steady herself.  "I... " she
: hesitated.  She didn't know what to say.  Where to start.  There
[snip]
: forgotten that day - that minute - that moment -  when everything
: had changed.]-(Too long?  Wordy?  Cut?)

Neccessary, but too long.  It holds up the exchange between Akane
and Ranma for too long.  Shorten it a bit;  I think you can get
all important points across with fewer words.


:      But, no, the mighty Ranma's too proud, too strong, to show
: _any_ weakness, to share, to talk.  No.  Instead, he keeps it
: inside; he keeps it inside till it gets so bad he explodes.
: Then... then he runs.  He runs away.]-(Iffy transition/speech.
: Change?)

Akane's chopped sentences seemed a bit awkward to me, but then,
she's very upset and grasping for words.

One sentence I was missing in Akane's speech is:  "If you think
you can be this hard with yourself because you only hurt yourself,
you're *wrong*!"


It works fine in this version, though I would have liked it
better, if Akane had been able to convince Ranma that the answer
to his problems doesn't lie out there, but always where the
problems lie themselves.


Sebastian
--
       <http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/>
                         Comics reviewed
--
Grandpa Charnock's Law:
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.