Ranma Wars: Kunou Strikes Back.
If you don't understand the plot, then you haven't been paying attention.
This is a sequel to Ranma Wars, a story in which I originally twisted the
characters and stories featured below. I offer no explanations as to how
the characters of Ranma 1/2 got to "A galaxy far far away," or how they
ended up in a time "Long long ago". I also offer no explanation as to how
the Kunou family came to power. I just write 'em, I don't explain 'em.
Some notes on scientific disparity- First: In this universe, you can
breathe vacuum. Second: This vacuum creates no friction or turbulence.
On the human factor: Whenever a fighter crashes or blows up, (or any ship
for that matter) The passengers and crew can eject, and parachute to the
nearest gravitary source (vacuum DOES have friction on the parachutes for
the same reason we don't know what percentage of a cursed person has to
touch water for them to change...) So, all of that craziness out of the
way, here we go with the traditional opening...
================================
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
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RANMA WARS
Episode II:
Kunou Strikes Back
The evil empire has been dealt a great blow from Ranma Saowalker and
the rebel alliance. The news of the Tembatsu star's destruction did not sit
well with Emperor Kouchou, and he has ordered his son, Tatewaki Kunou to
pursue the rebels and Ranma in particular to the corners of the galaxy.
The rebels, meanwhile, have set up a new base on Doth, a desolate,frozen
planet in a system of the same name. After the battle of Gabbin, the rebels
have fallen back to regroup, and hide.
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Pan down from a starfield, to show a star destroyer firing probe droids in
seemingly random directions. Cut inside. Kunou and some officers are
standing on the bridge.
Officer: The probes are away, my lord.
Kunou: Good. Akane my love, they cannot keep us apart forever!
Officer2: Didn't the emperor tell us to bring Ranma Saotome to him? Isn't
that our prime directive?
Kunou: Fool! [grabs officer2, and shakes him] You follow MY orders!
Officer2: Y-yes, sir! Absolutely sir!
Kunou: Right, then. Anything yet?
Officer: No, sir. It will be almost a day before we get anything.
Kunou: We will be together soon, Akane Tendou.
Cut to Ranma riding across the frozen wastes of Doth on a Tauntaun.
Ranma: Echo base, this is Echo 1/2. I don't see anything yet. There's a
cave I'm gonna check out near here, and a meteor strike. See ya later!
Radio: [Akane] Okay. Don't take dumb chances though. We need anybody we can
get!
Ranma: Oh, thanks. Echo 1/2 out.
Ranma rides his Tauntaun toward a hole in the ground. He dismounts, and
walks toward the hole.
Ranma: Hello? Anybody down there?
A large, white-furred creature jumps up in front of him.
Ranma: Uuuhhh... Bye!
Before he can run, or even fight, the creature whacks him in the head.
Cut to black. Cut back in on Ranma suspended from the ceiling. Ranma reaches
up for his feet, but they are frozen into the ceiling. Ranma brings his
hands together, and then extends them toward the ceiling.
Ranma: MOUKO TAKABISHA!
Ranma's feet come loose from the ceiling in a yellowish blast, and he falls
on his head in Takahashi inverted position #12. He then kipps up, and
falls back down on his front. The floor is made of ice. He starts crawling
toward the entrance. The beast makes a second appearance, and attacks.
Ranma: HIRYUSHOTEN HA!
The beast goes flying through the ceiling, leaving a hole. Ranma continues
toward the exit. He exits, and begins walking toward where he thinks he left
his Tauntaun. It is not there, and drag marks lead toward the hole. Ranma
continues on. Cut back to inside the base. Ryouga and Chewtaro are working
on the lost boy in the hangar.
Ryouga: Chewty! [pointing] Weld THAT coupling! Yeah, I mean now!
Akane walks over.
Ryouga: Uh... Hi Akane! What's up?
Akane: Have you seen Ranma? He should be back now, but he hasn't checked in!
Ryouga: Oh... He must be around here SOMEwhere. Hey, deck officer!
Officer: [walking over] Yes?
Ryouga: Has echo 1/2 checked in yet?
officer: No.
Akane: It'll be dark soon. He won't make it through the night out there if
he's in trouble!
Ryouga: Don't worry Akane, I'll go get him!
Akane: You?
Ryouga: [walking over to Tauntauns] Yeah, me. Why? Whoop... No time now!
Gotta go!
Ryouga rides out, only slightly under control.
Cut to Ranma, staggering through the snow. After a few steps, he falls
over. A few seconds later, Ryouga rides up.
Ryouga: Ranma, you wimp! Get up.
Ranma does not move.
Ryouga: [jumping down] Aw, come on. I can't let you die. You don't have
a fighting chance as it is.
Ryouga takes an ultra-thermetric tent and blanket from the Tauntaun's back.
As he does this, the Tauntaun takes off.
Ryouga: Man I hate Tauntauns.
Ryouga sets up the tent, and puts Ranma inside. The Wampa creature walks
up. Ryouga does not notice. The Wampa taps Ryouga on the shoulder. Ryouga
spins.
Ryouga: Ranma? You awa... Gleep...
Wampa: Hey, it's cold! Can I stay with you tonight? Some jerk blasted
me through my roof, and it's snowing in my place.
Ryouga looks over at the tent which would be pretty crowded without the
Wampa.
Ryouga: Uh... I guess...
Wampa: Great! [he ducks inside]. Hey! This is the Jerk!
The tent rocks a little, and Ryouga dives inside. The tent rocks some
more, and the Wampa goes flying across the tundra.
Wampa: You could have just asked me to leave!... [Whump]
Ryouga goes back inside. Fade to black as a light goes on inside the tent.
Radio voice: Echo 1/2 and Echo 6, come in please!
Fade in on a scene out the front window of a snowspeeder.
Radio voice: Echo 1/2 and echo 6, come in.
Cut to Akane at Echo base.
Akane: Both of those morons are completely useless. They're probably both
gone.
Soun 3PO: Don't say that! (sob) They're both all right... I know it! (sob)
Akane: [softly] They're morons.
Cut back to the Speeder.
Radio voice: Echo 6 and Echo 1/2, come in. Where are they!
Ryouga: This is Echo 6! Glad you found us!
Out the window, we see Ryouga carrying Ranma. His tracks are... Random to
say the least.
Fade to a scene of Ranma being lowered into a bacta tank. (not water)
Cut to Ranma, out of the tank. He is getting dressed. Akane walks in.
Akane: So just what happened out there? You were half frozen when Ryouga
brought you in
here!
Ranma: Ryouga?!? You mean he kept himself straight long enough to get to me?
Akane: Amazing, isn't it?
Ranma: Yeah...
Ryouga walks in.
Ryouga: Hey you guys... There's some pretty weird reports coming in from
echo 3. You should come check them out!
Akane and Ranma: Right!
They all go out. On the way, Ranma finishes dressing in the familiar red
shirt, and black pants. They get to the control room.
Radio: Base, this is Echo 3. That meteorite seems to be mostly metallic...
Wait! It's a probe droid.... [blast, static]
Akane: Oh no...
Ranma: They found us!
Genma: Better call an evacuation.
Akane: Yeah... Transmit evacuation codes!
Everyone stops what they're doing. Suddenly, everyone runs out of the room.
Akane: [slightly trampled] I didn't mean just you!
Akane, Ranma, and Ryouga work at the controls for a few seconds. Then
Akane looks at the radar screen.
Akane: Imperial ground forces incoming! Everybody get ready to protect
the base while we evacuate!
Ranma runs out of the room.
Ryouga: Where are you going, you coward?!?!
Ranma: I NEVER run from a fight!
Ryouga: [grabbing Akane] C'mon! We better get outta here!
Akane: [being wrenched toward the door] Wait! Hold on!
Ryouga: [dragging Akane down the hall] No time!
They get to the hangar.
Ryouga: Chewtie! Finish up quick! Kunou's coming!
Cut to outside. Ranma is sprinting across the snow toward the approaching
imperial horde. As he meets his first resistance, he lets loose with...
Ranma: TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!
While running. This clears out about fifty opponents as he runs by. Then
he comes to the first wave of AT-ATs. He utilizes a move of his known as...
Ranma: MOUKO TAKABISHA!
Which blasts through two of them. Then a blaster beam hits the snow just
in front of him, blasting him back. More bolts come at him, all just barely
missing, but flinging him back. Suddenly Ranma finds himself back at the
base. He is so stunned by the blasts, that he is near unconscious. A soldier
runs over and drags him on board a transport. The transport takes off, as
does The Lost Boy. As they attain orbit, we see that there is a fleet of 6
star destroyers waiting for them. Cut inside the Lost Boy.
Ryouga: [to radio] Transport 4... Get out of here to starboard. I'll get
the princess out another way.
Transport: [on radio] Why not just follow us?
Akane: [entering room] He couldn't follow you if he tried! Just get out
of here, transport 4!
The first spatterings of blaster fire are flying now.
Transport: All right, Lost Boy. Good luck!
Ryouga: Thanks... We may need it. Lost Boy ou-
The Lost Boy takes a hit to it's shields. The ship shakes, and various
bits of equipment spark.
Ryouga: Chewtie! Tie down that Intercapulator! We gotta go to hyperspace
quick!
Chewtie: [from back] Grrraaaar!
Ryouga: [looking at Akane] Okay, Akane... Watch this! [Pulls hyperdrive
lever. The engine revs, but nothing really happens.]
Akane: Watch what?
Ryouga: Aw, great. All right, we'll have to run for it.
Cut to outside. The Lost Boy rolls and spins, weaving among star
destroyers, and evading TIE fighters again and again. However it doesn't
seem to be doing any good. Soun 3PO enters the cabin.
Ryouga: Hmm. This isn't helping much. All right, that's our only chance.
[Pointing toward an asteroid field]
Akane: Oh right. You really think you're gonna fly in there, hide, and
get back out without getting smashed or lost?
Soun 3PO: I don't like this at all! (sob) All this violence!
Ryouga: Get ready... We're going in!
The Lost Boy weaves and rolls around asteroids, trying to evade pursuing
TIE fighters. A few of the small craft are smashed against the rocks, their
pilots ejecting. Quite a few of the fighters continue to follow however.
Ryouga: This doesn't seem to be working.
Akane: You've got this flair for understatement, don't you?
Ryouga: All right... I'm going in closer to that big one.
Soun 3PO: Closer?!?! Are you mad?
Ryouga: Just watch.
The Lost Boy dives into a deep canyon, and the fighters follow. As the
chase continues, some of the fighters bounce off the walls, and crash.
The canyon widens into a plain with deep craters. The Lost Boy does a 3/4
loop, and dives into a large cave. The TIEs miss the turn, and crash. The
Lost Boy continues on into darkness.
Akane: I just hope you know what you're doing.
Ryouga: Me too.
Cut to Ranma sitting in the lounge section of the transport he was pulled
aboard. He is heavily bandaged, and appears to be in pain. Genma walks in,
eating as usual.
Genma: Ranma, my boy... That was just heroic, what you did on Doth.
Truly worthy of the name Saowalker!
Ranma: Oh, just shut up, pop. I didn't do anything.
Genma: Don't be modest, boy! The only thing you could have done better is
be at the base to get Akane out. It's all right, Ryouga got her out on the
Lost Boy, but-
Ranma: Ryouga?!?! Then she's lost for sure-
The ship rocks, as though it had been hit. It rocks again, and the engines
shut down.
Genma: Oh, what is this? Back to the beginning of the first story?
The ship starts to fall out of its orbit, denoted inside by rocking and
spinning. The ship crashes, and Ranma and Genma are the first ones to the
door. This is because everyone else got out in escape capsules. The planet
is swampy, and from its look, not real hospitable.
Ranma: This must be what Ryouga feels like whenever he goes anywhere.
Cut to Ranma and Genma in a makeshift camp. Genma is eating leftover
in-flight food. Ranma is fiddling with the emergency radio. He is apparently
not having much luck. [coronal discharge arcing from radio to Ranma to
ground.
Genma: It was a good thing we could avoid that bog. It would take a while
to heat water here.
Ranma: [recovering] Y-Yeah... A G-g-goood thing-ing.
Sound: Heeeeyaaaaa!!!
Ranma and Genma: What was THAT?!?!
Sound: HeeeEEyIIIIaaaahhh!!!
Genma: It's familiar somehow... No. It can't be.
Yodasai: Genma!!! [dropping out of the trees onto Genma] It's been Years!!!
Genma: Oh, no.
Yodasai: Genma! Who is this young man?!?!
Genma: Uh... This is Ranma... My son.
Yodasai: Son? Well. It HAS been a long time, hasn't it?
Ranma: What the hell is that, pop?
Genma: Ranma... This is master Yodasai. My sensei.
Ranma: THAT? No wonder you're so pathetic.
Genma flings a pan at Ranma, and Ranma falls backward into the bog.
Ranma-chan: Hey! What'd you do that for?
Yodasai's eyes nearly pop out of his head.
Yodasai: Pretty.... Lady....! PRETTY LADY!!!
Yodasai runs at Ranma. Ranma punts the little man into the trees.
Ranma-chan: [getting out of water] What was all that about?
Genma: Well... Yodasai has always been a bit... of a... lecher.
Ranma-chan: No kidding.
Genma: He'll be back after a while. He's probably in the ship already,
pilfering the clothes drawers of the female crewers.
Ranma-chan: [getting pot for water] That's... That's... sick.
Genma: Yes, but he is my master.
Ranma puts the pot on, and it heats. Ranma pours some of the water on
himself, and then puts the pot back. Yodasai wanders out of the background,
carrying a stuffed sack.
Ranma: So what have you got there old man?
Yodasai: Only the most incredible treasure in all the universe!
Ranma: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Genma: You don't want to know.
Yodasai: Say... Where is that red-haired beauty?
Ranma: Huh?
Genma: Don't worry about her.
Yodasai: No... Where is she? Say... [looking at Ranma] You look a lot like
her. Is she your sister or something?
Ranma: No...
Cut to Ryouga and Akane working on the navigation system.
Ryouga: [hitting some switches] There. The intercounteroticers are set.
Akane: Right. [hits some buttons] The third brain is programmed. All
you have to do is hit the levers, and we should be gone.
Chewtie: Ro reah?
Soun 3PO: I for one have complete confidence in Akane's abilities.
Ryouga: All right. Let's get out of here. Er... Anybody remember the way?
All point aft. The ship turns around, and heads for the surface at top
speed. The Lost Boy blasts out of the asteroid.
Cut to aboard the star destroyer. Kunou is sitting on a throne-type thing.
An officer walks out in front.
Kunou: Yes?
Officer: Sir, the emperor wishes an audience, via hololink.
Kunou: Very well. Take us out of the asteroids so as to attain a clear
transmission.
Officer: Yes, sir.
Cut to a scene of Kunou walking onto a transmission pad.
Kunou: Yes, father? What is it?
Kouchou: Kunou... You are my pride and joy. I know you can accomplish this
task for me. Ranma Saowalker must not corrupt the empire with his
irreverence. The ultimate manifestation of this is his pig-tail. If you
take it, he will lose any influence.
Kunou: Yes, father. However, I have a side agenda which may help both of us.
Akane Tendo is one of the most influential leaders of the rebellion. I
wish her. Do I have your permission to pursue this angle?
Kouchou: You do me proud, Kunou. Yes, you may pursue this. But the haircut
of Ranma Saotome must come first. The rebellion must be stopped. Aloha,
my son.
Kunou: Goodbye, father.
The hologram fades. A few seconds later, the officer returns.
Officer: Sir! We've found the Lost Boy!
Cut outside. The Lost Boy is flying ahead of a group of star destroyers.
It is bobbing and weaving around asteroids. A couple of seconds later, the
Lost Boy clears the field. Cut inside.
Ryouga: All right... Let's go! [pulls levers]
The engines rev, but nothing happens.
Akane: [slapping her head] Oh, no... we were so interested in the nav
system that we forgot to fix the hyperdrive!
Ryouga: Chewtie! Put all the power into the front shields. We're coming
around!
Akane: We're going to attack them?!?
Soun 3PO: The odds on such an attack are-
Akane shuts him down.
The Lost Boy does a bootleg turn, and jumps back toward the destroyer.
Cut to on board the destroyer.
Officer: They're attacking?
Officer2: Shields up!
The Lost Boy passes close to the command tower.
Officer: Track them! They may come around for another pass!
Officer2: They've disappeared!
Officer: Where are they?!?!
Cut to outside. The Lost Boy is attached to the back of the control tower.
Cut inside a room with a window near there. An old man looks out the window,
then tosses the bottle he is holding across the room. Cut aboard the Lost
Boy.
Akane: So where'd you learn that trick?
Ryouga: I saw it in a movie once...
Akane: So, what now?
Ryouga: Well... We wait, and when they dump their trash, we float away with
it. From here we go to Gespin.
Akane: Wow. What a great plan... Say... What's so special about Gespin?
Cut on board the destroyer. Kunou is talking to bounty hunters. One of them
is Ukkyo wearing a mask.
Officer: [whispering] Bounty hunters? We don't need that trash!
Officer2: Right, sir.
Kunou: The empire will pay 500,000 credits to the one of you who brings
in Ranma Saowalker, Ryouga Solobiki, and Chewtaro. Also, I personally will
pay 1,000,000 credits to the one who brings in Akane Tendou completely
unharmed. [draws sword] Anyone who harms her will be subject to my wrath.
Cut back to inside the Lost Boy.
Ryouga: Okay... We got the hyperdrive fixed, and reset the nav system.
We're ready.
Akane: Good thing. It's time.
Ryouga: Okay. Chewtie, disengage the locks.
The locks disengage with a clank, and the Lost Boy floats away amongst the
trash. A few seconds later, the destroyers jump to hyperspace. Then, the
Lost Boy turns, and jumps to light speed. A spatula-shaped ship also turns,
and heads in the same direction. Cut back to the swampy planet. Ranma and
Genma are working on the radio.
Ranma: Hey, pop. I didn't know you knew anything about fixing radios!
Genma: This too is part of the anything-goes style of martial arts.
During the Clone Wars I was called upon to make some pretty hasty repairs.
Besides that, my rice and cabbage was the best in space!
Ranma: [looking over at cooking supplies] You might have slipped a little,
pop.
Genma: It doesn't matter... We're done!
Genma flips on the radio. At first, only static. Then he fiddles with the
controls, and a voice comes through.
Radio: Ukky-fett calling star destroyer "Wrath", come in.
Radio: Ukky-fett, this is "Wrath". What is it?
Radio: "Wrath", I have found your perpetrators. They are headed toward
Gespin, to the cloud-mining facility.
Radio: Congratulations, Ukky-fett. We will have your reward waiting when we
arrive. "Wrath" out.
Ranma and Genma look at each other in surprise.
Ranma: Aw, man. I knew there'd be trouble when Akane went with Ryouga.
Genma: We have to get to Gespin as soon as we can!
Genma fiddles with the radio some more. Cut to the Lost Boy coming in for a
landing at Cloud City. They land, and the hatch opens. Our characters exit
the ship.
Soun 3PO: Hmm. No greeting party.
A door in the side of the city opens, and four or five people walk out. One
of them is Mousse. The party walks toward the ship.
Akane: I don't like this.
Ryouga: Relax, Akane. This is Mousse Calrissian. We go back a LONG way.
Chewtaro: Rrreeedgrr.
Ryouga: I'm sure he's forgotten all about that by now.
Mousse stops about 15 feet from the ship. Ryouga goes out to meet him.
Mousse: Who are you?
Ryouga: Put your glasses on, you moron.
Mousse: Oh. [he does] Ryouga! You've got a lot of nerve coming here. How
many tries did it take?
Ryouga: Three.
Mousse: You old space-pirate! So how you been?!?!
Ryouga: Oh, I been around.
Mousse: So, who's the lady?
Ryouga: Oh... That's Princess Akane Tendo.
Mousse: Really? [he moves over to her and kisses her hand. Akane face
faults] Hello, your highness. One of your beauty really does belong with
us, among the clouds.
Mousse moves off a bit.
Mousse: If you'll follow me, we'll get you to some comfortable quarters.
Mousse removes his glasses, starts cleaning them, and walks into the wall
next to the door.
Mousse: Oh... Excuse me!
He walks inside. Ryouga, Akane,and Chewtaro follow, with Soun 3PO bringing
up the rear. They walk inside.
Akane: I don't trust him.
Ryouga: I don't trust him either, but he IS my friend.
Akane: Is that supposed to make me feel better?
They continue on. The view shifts to Soun 3PO. He hears a warble that sounds
a lot like Gentoo from a door to the right.
Soun 3PO: Gentoo? It can't be...
He walks into the room.
Soun 3PO: Gentoo? Is that... Oh. Hey, now, we can talk this over! wait,
don't get up, I was just-
Cut to outside the room. We hear a blast, and a couple pieces of Soun 3PO
fly to the doorway, stopping just inside. The door closes. Chewtaro walks
back, to find the door closed, and Soun 3PO gone. He shrugs, and goes back
the way he came. Cut back to Daggobaw. Ranma and Genma are standing around
a signal beacon waiting for a ship. Yodasai is hopping madly about, ranting
about how he would be free again, and how the female population of the
galaxy should watch out.
Ranma: Has he always been like that?
Genma: Yes... [various flashbacks from Genma's days training with the old
man] I believe he has.
Ranma: Just how hard would it be to leave him here?
Yodasai: [stopping just long enough to be heard] Impossible! I am the
master of Anything Goes Martial Arts! I am unstoppable!
Genma: I am afraid he lives up to his boast. Though small, and annoying,
he is very good at fighting.
Ranma: Oh, sure. Watch this. TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!
Yodasai: Oh, yeah? [dodging all of the blows, one at a time] HAPPO GOEN
SATSU! (*1)
Yodasai traces a circle in the air that glows, and a yellow aura goes from
Ranma to himself. After a few seconds, Yodasai lowers his hand, and Ranma
sort of slumps to his knees.
Ranma: [weakly] So... Weak. What'd you do, old man?
Yodasai: Oh... Only temporarily stole your fighting aura. Without it you
are harmless, and undefended.
Ranma: So... Pop was right... [Ranma goes face first into the muck. [also
not actual water]
A small escort ship lowers itself to the ground, and the three go on board,
Ranma being dragged. The ship takes off, and we cut back to cloud city.
Chewtaro is searching through trash, much to the consternation of some
small humanoid aliens. Chewtaro finds Soun 3PO's head, followed quickly
by the rest of him. Chewtie carries the discombobulated droid back to the
apartment they had been assigned. Akane is sitting on a couch on one side
of the room. Ryouga walks in.
Ryouga: Hey! Mousse tells me that the ship is almost ready. There was some
serious damage in the hyperdrive.
Akane: For some reason, I don't trust Mousse. [points to Soun 3PO]
Ryouga: Aw, geez... what happened?
Akane: Chewtie found him in a trash pile.
Chewtie: Gorrah.
Ryouga: Yeah. Maybe he hasn't forgotten about that...
Mousse walks in. He is not wearing his glasses. He turns to Ryouga, and
tries to kiss his hand, but Ryouga flicks his wrist and Mousse goes over
backwards.
Ryouga: Put your glasses back on. THAT'S Akane, over there!
Mousse: [getting up] Huh? [puts on glasses] Oh. Well, anyway. Anybody up
for dinner? Everybody's invited... Say. Having some droid problems?
Ryouga: No! no... C'mon. Let's go.
They all walk out of the room, Chewtaro leaving a rather disorganized Soun
3PO on the table. They walk down the hall, and the conversation fades in
and out, mostly about mining and big money deals. The conversation clears
as they get to a door.
Mousse: So it is a problem, but I just made a deal that will keep the
Kunos out of here forever.
The door opens, and we see Kunou standing on the other end of a long table.
Ryouga: [stretching hands out before him] SHISHIHO-
A guard sort of appears next to Ryouga, and grabs him in such a way to stop
his move. the camera pans down slightly, and we see that it is Sasuke.
Kunou: Oh, dear. I had so hoped you all would join me peacefully for dinner.
The door closes over the camera, and we cut to a scene of Ryouga strapped
into a chair, facing a large stereo setup.
Stereo: The complete poetic works of Tatewaki Kunou, a 12 volume set.
Volume one. "And it so falls out that what we have...
Kunou, who was in the room (but apparently quite missable) walks out. Next
to the door stands Ukky-Fett. Screams of agony have started to come from
the room as the door closes.
Ukky-Fett: Hey, Kunou. This guy's not worth anything to me dead. I need him
alive.
Kunou: Don't worry... He is only enjoying my poetry. If anything he will
come out better than when he went in.
Kunou continues down the hall until Mousse walks up.
Mousse: Hey. This wasn't part of the deal. Torture is just wrong.
Kunou: I am altering the deal. Perhaps you feel I am being... less than
noble?
Mousse: [slightly intimidated] ...Uh...no.
Kunou: Good. I would be greatly saddened to know I was behaving in a manner
unbecoming of a samurai.
Kunou walks into what looks like an elevator, and the door slides shut.
Cut to a room that looks a lot like the one from before, but decorated in
blacks and browns instead of whites. Akane and Chewtaro are in here. A door
in the wall opens, and Ryouga nearly flies in. Akane and Chewtaro run over,
and put Ryouga on a slab that slides out of the wall.
Ryouga: Unnnh... I feel terrible.
Akane: What'd they do to you?
Ryouga: Poetry. Hours of it in only minutes...
Akane: That's... Horrible!
The door opens again, and Mousse walks in, escorted by guards.
Mousse: [going to Akane] Ryouga... I...
Akane spins him, and tilts him to be looking at Ryouga.
Mousse: I did everything I could... Kunou has agreed that Akane and Chewtaro
can stay here.
Akane: Kunou's a psycho. Who knows what he really wants.
Mousse: [straightening] He wants some guy called... Saowalker, I think.
Ryouga: [weakly] Ranma? Heh. He can have him for all I care.
Mousse: I don't think it would matter if you did. You are going to be
given to some bounty hunter. I'm sorry I couldn't do more, but at least...
Ryouga: Yeah, you're a real hero.
Ryouga leaps toward Mousse, who quickly produces a giant wok to shield
himself, and the guards whack Ryouga with sticks.
Mousse: STOP! Look, Ryouga, I did the best I could, but I've got my own
problems.
Mousse walks out, followed by the guards. Cut to outside a small freighter
(very, VERY small) approaching the planet. Cut to the carbon freezing room
of the city. Mousse and Kunou are inspecting the device, being shadowed by
Ukky-Fett.
Kunou: Yes... Though not a part of the way of the samurai, this unit will
provide for the capture of Ranma Saowalker.
Mousse: But... We only use this for freezing vegetables! If you put him in
there, he might die!
Kunou: I do not wish my father's prize to be dead. We will test it on...
Solobiki.
Ukky-Fett: Hey... What happens for me if he dies?
Kunou: Do not worry... You will be reimbursed in that contingency. Bring
the prisoners to me.
Cut to the cell. Chewtaro almost has Soun 3PO together. He is functioning,
although missing legs, and is sobbing over the loss, and the unfairness of
it all. Mousse walks in, accompanied by guards. The guards take them.
Akane: So, what happens now?
Mousse: [worried look] Ryouga is going to be used to test the carbon
freezing process.
Ryouga: WHAT???!!!
Ryouga struggles, but is held fast by about four guys.
They are marched to the chamber. The Chamber is prepared for use by more of
the short aliens. Then Ryouga is placed on the platform, tied, and gagged
to disallow his moves. Akane looks on sadly. Soun 3PO, who is strapped to
Chewtaro's back, has once again begun to sob. Kunou gives a "thumbs down",
and the machine is started. Chewtaro looks over at Akane, a look of concern
coming over his cowlike face. Ryouga continues down into the hole,
struggling all the way. Steam rises around him, eventually obscuring him
completely. There is a loud KLUNK, and a hiss. Huge grippers come down from
the ceiling, and grab and lift a square slab. Apparently Ryouga got free of
his bonds at the last minute. He is in a pose that could herald his "Bakusai
ten Ketsu", with his hand cocked back to punch the ground, and a determined,
yet slightly cold look on his face.
Akane: Oh, no...
Mousse walks over to the side of the slab, and looks at some controls on
the side.
Mousse: He's dead!
Kunou runs over, and checks the thing himself.
Kunou: Put your glasses on, fool. He is not dead. He is in fact very well.
[motions to Ukky-fett] He is yours.
Kunou motions to the slab, and four stormtroopers pick it up, and carry it
away.
Kunou: And put the princess... and the Chimera on my shuttle.
Mousse: Hey, wait a minute! You said-
Kunou: I am altering the deal. You shall be fortunate if I do not alter it
further.
Mousse turns, and glances at a bald guy with a metal ring around his head.
The guy nods slightly.
Kunou: Reset the chamber. Ranma Saotome will be here soon...
Officer: Sir, a freighter has just landed at the south pad. Ranma Saotome
and Genma Saotome are confirmed to be aboard.
Kunou: Good. Make sure Ranma finds his way here...
Cut to Ranma and Genma walking along a hall.
Genma: Well. This looks as though it were the ideal vacation spot, don't
you think Ranma?
Ranma: ... [looking around]
Genma: Ranma?
Ranma: Huh? Oh... Yeah. I-
A platform in the floor shoots Ranma through a hole in the ceiling. Ranma
finds himself in the Carbon Freezing Chamber.
Ranma: ...Guess?
Ranma walks around a little, until he hears a voice.
Kunou: And so the battle was singularly joined, as battle is battle, and
love is love... You shall not live to marry the fair Akane, not that you
would deserve to. It is I, Tatewaki Kunou that shall entrance the heart of
such a beauty.
Ranma: So you gonna talk or fight?
Kunou: Hoisted by my own petard. Yaaaa!
Kunou jumps down from where he was on the steps, sword back over his head.
Ranma dodges, and Kunou's sword penetrates the deck. Kunou quickly recovers
and slashes to the side. Ranma jumps back to avoid the blow, and then
forward to push Kunou into a previously unseen hole. As Ranma is in the air,
cut to Akane, Chewtaro, and Mousse, walking down the hall accompanied by
guards. Mousse takes a small transmitter out of his robe and pushes a few
buttons. Cut to the bald guy, who looks like somebody force fed him speed.
At the next intersection, a platoon of soldiers falls upon the group,
incapacitating the guards. Mousse turns, and takes the binders off Akane,
then Chewtaro. Chewtaro quickly grabs Mousse by the throat.
Mousse: Ryouguh... Still a chance...
Akane: What's he saying?
Mousse: There's still a chance to save Ryouga... at the east... Platform...
Akane: Come on Chewtaro.
They run off down the hall, leaving Mousse slightly less than 100%. As they
run, Genma joins them.
Soun 3PO: Saotome! What are you doing here?
Genma: Well, I-
An old woman along the side of the corridor suddenly splashes him with cold
water, and Genma changes.
Soun 3PO: Don't feel so bad... Look what happened to me!
They get to the room just off the east platform. The door on the Baker I is
just closing, and the ship is starting to take off. We see Ryouga, frozen,
inside. They shout at the ship to stop, but there is no effect. Mousse
catches up.
Mousse: Come on. Let's get outta here.
Akane: Why should we trust you?
Mousse: Well, there was the daring rescue in the hall back there...
Akane: OK. Gentoo, plug into the city computer, and find out what's going
on.
Gentoo does. He accidentally mistakes a power output for the interface,
however, and gives himself a blast of 120. Mousse goes over to a computer
terminal and pushes some buttons. A microphone pops out, and Mousse takes
it.
Mousse: [to microphone] Attention everybody. I would advise everybody to
leave before more Imperial-types show up. That is all.
Mousse puts the microphone away.
Mousse: Come on. [grabs Akane]
Akane: I'm getting a little sick of being grabbed and dragged!
They run down the hall, amidst fleeing cloud-citiers. They finally get to
the landing pad. Some imperials show, and they start firing. Mousse turns,
raises his arm, and a hen pops out of his sleeve. The hen lays some eggs,
which Mousse catches in his other hand. Mousse then brings his hand back to
throw...
Mousse: KEDOKEN!
Mousse tosses the eggs, and they explode, tossing imperials everywhere.
Gentoo hooks into the computer, and after a few seconds, he reacts in alarm.
Gentoo: The Hyperdrive!
Mousse: We don't have time for this! We gotta go NOW!
They run toward the ship, and more Imperials show up. Mousse turns and
flings a group of small boomerangs at them. The boomerangs hit them, and
they fall, unconscious. They return to Mousse who catches them, and pushes
his glasses up. He then runs up onto the ship. The ship lifts, as it is
fired at by imperials. The ship leaves, skimming across the clouds. Cut to
Ranma walking through what looks like a power-shaft control room. There is
a large window in one wall, other than that, the room is all purple and
matte black. Ranma walks around, looking for Kunou. suddenly...
Kunou: And so it is that the spider has nothing to fear from the fly, as
the fly's circumstance is the opposite... Stand and fight, fly.
Ranma: Kunou. What did you do with Akane and the others?
Kunou: It doesn't matter now... But I will tell you that your friend Ryouga
has been put... On ice, so to say.
Ranma: What?!?!
Kunou: He is not dead... Yet... But I fear that Clobber the Gutt will not
be so lenient.
Ranma: You moron.
Ranma attacks with a jump kick, which Kunou dodges. Kunou spins, hitting
Ranma with the flat of his sword, knocking Ranma through the window. Kunou
walks over to the window, and looks down. Cut to a catwalk over the inside
of the city's repulsor unipod shaft. The shaft goes down a long, long way.
Cut to Kunou walking out on the catwalk. Ranma is already there. Kunou
attacks Ranma, and Ranma jumps back, almost missing the catwalk. Kunou
attacks again, and Ranma climbs out onto the structure of the catwalk.
Kunou: Ranma, you know you cannot defeat the empire. We only want to take
your hair. Give up and we will not harm you. In fact, we'll give you a post
in the government.
Ranma: Oh, yeah? [face picks up, then drops] What's the catch?
Kunou: None. And I will even allow you to attend the wedding of myself, and
the fair Akane!
Ranma: Yeah, right. [pushes off]
Kunou looks down to watch Ranma fall. Ranma steers himself on the way down,
and lands in a tube, and slides for a while. When he stops, he tries to get
up. The floor drops out from under him, and he falls out the bottom of the
city. The Lost Boy just happens to be going underneath at the time, and
Ranma falls on top. The top hatch opens, and Ranma goes in. The ship hauls
jets for space. When they make space, they find that there is a star
destroyer waiting for them.
Mousse: [piloting ship] Okay... Let's get out of here. [he pulls the
hyperdrive lever, nothing happens] It's not my fault...
Chewtaro whacks him in the back of the head, and goes back to work on the
engines.
Mousse: It's not my fault!
TIE fighters are beginning to fire at them now. Chewtaro is working
furiously on the Hyperdrive. Genma is working on Soun 3PO.
Genma: The hyperdrive is only deactivated!
All: How would you know?
Genma: The city computer told me! Watch! [pushes button marked "Hyperdrive
activation switch".]
The ship pitches up, as it jumps to hyperspace, and safety. Cut aboard the
star destroyer. Somehow Kunou is aboard. He watches the ship disappear, and
shakes his head. He looks around, then at the captain, and walks silently
over to him. Kunou grabs him by the neck, and tosses him into the control
pit. He then silently walks off the bridge. Cut to the Rebel fleet. There
are multiple capitol ships, being escorted by various single-seat fighters.
Cut aboard one of the ships. Ranma, Akane, Genma, and Soun 3PO are standing
in front of a large window. There is a ship-to-ship radio on.
Mousse: [via radio] Okay, you guys. You take care. We'll call you when
we're at the meeting point on Tantoein.
Ranma: Yeah. Thanks for your help. We never could have gotten away without
you.
Akane: Yeah. I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
Mousse: Oh, that's all right. We'll see you later!
Chewtaro: Grrraaargr!
Akane giggles a little, and looks up at Ranma, suddenly noticing that she's
leaning on his arm. She quickly straightens up, and looks at Ranma
disapprovingly. Genma and Soun 3PO are in the background, giving each other
silent High fives. The Lost Boy pulls away from the larger ship, and
disappears into hyperspace. Cut outside the ship, and the whole formation
moves off. Suddenly we hear...
Ranma: Oh, you are SO uncute!
Akane: Oh, yeah?!?!
WHAP!!!! cut to black, and credits.
By me.
All that copyright junk.
all that other copyright junk.
The final copyright junk.
The next story isn't done yet. (A name! it needs a name! Nothing returns!)
May the Jyusenkyo guide be with you.