From:        Richard Lawson, sterman@sprynet.com

My second MST3K criticism!  <sniff>  I love this stuff.

Er, well, thank you. :)

helpful  Only one thing I disagree with:

She considered starting up some of her businesses again.  Ranma had been so
profitable.  She had actually achieved international distribution with some
of his pictures transferred onto cloth and other things.  Ranma was as
beautiful as a woman as he was handsome as a man, and some 

<snip>

Windir: Undoubtedly the author was merely exaggerating for humorous 
effect. This is fairly common in fanfics, especially Ranma fanfics, where 
she is frequently portrayed as being able to do almost *anything* 
involving money; I fully expect to see a fanfic one day where she travels 
to the U.S. and buys Rockefeller Center from Sony, or whichever Japanese 
company owns it at this time. However, in a relatively 'realistic' 
fanfic, such as this one, suggesting that she has achieved international 
distribution of Ranma NonLicenced Material is rather straining the bounds 
of credulity.

Lyra: Not to mention the sentence structure is kinda clunky there. "Some 
of his pictures transferred onto cloth and other things?" Why didn't she 
just say "She'd actually managed to make some international sales of 
Ranma t-shirts, phonecards, and other things."? 

Frito: Hey, Nabs can do anythin' she wants! Even talk like Wind-bag, if 
it makes her happy!

I hate to tell you, but I'm not exaggerating.  The entire thing about
selling pictures of a half-naked Ranma on handkerchiefs and achieving
international distribution is lifted directly from the manga.  

Oh. I guess I should have guessed. :) I still think the wording could be 
improved, though; if it was handkerchiefs, then say handkerchiefs, 
instead of "pictures transferred onto cloth." I worked for Jayhawk Spirit 
for a couple of years, doing designs for the screenprinting shop, so I 
guess I tend to be a bit sensitive about that. 

I'm also a bit surprised that no one picked up on the Rockefeller Center 
thing; I was fully expecting someone to either say it *had* been done, or 
to say "Hey, that's a good idea!" ^_^

One of
the least-flattering stories about Nabiki, I might add - it's one of the
ones that she forces Ranma into posing for her - and she's later shown
with an armful of film cartridges.

Hmmm. What episode was that? I have to admit, I'm pretty much limited to 
the Viz translations, since I don't know Japanese.

Thanks for your comments; I'll be leaning heavily on them when I do a
rewrite.  And I love your style! 

Um, thanks. Again.

I noticed on your web page that you live in Overland Park. I'm just 
across the way in Lenexa; want to get together one of these days? :)



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

...Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.