New contest: The contest is named after  the author of the immortal lines:
"It was a dark and stormy night." The object of the contest is to write
the opening sentence to the worst possible Fanfict. 

Rule #1. One sentence Only. You may include dailog, or quotes, but only 
as part of that _one_ [1] sentence.

Rule #2. Don't ignore rule #1.

Rule #3. Puns are encouraged

Rule #4. The subject line should always contain "Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fanfict Writing Contest"

Rule #5. Break rule #4 and you will be disqualified.

Rule #6. Rules #1 and #4 are to prevent accidental contest entries.

Rule #7. Use any darn name you want, put it at the end like this: -- Penname


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Here is a real  winner from 1988 of the genuine Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest.

        "Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was 
        sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, 
        which was as warm as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, 
        her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads 
        of fresh rain on the hood; she was a woman driven - fueled by a single 
        accelerant - and she needed a man, a man who wouldn't shift from his 
        views, a man to steer her along the right road: a man like Alf Romeo."
   
                -- Rachel Sheeley

--- Here's My entry

        Lately their relationship had stabilized to the point that the
        Furinkan High Meteorology club had been forced to purchase long
        life batteries for their experiment package that Ranma had agreed
        to carry in his backpack during now less frequent visits to the
        upper atmosphere.

                -- J. Palmer


______________________________________________________________________________
Joseph Palmer                       Please send BeBox mail to jpalmer@be.com
Director of Hardware Engineering    http://www.be.com - comp.sys.be - #BeBox
Be, Incorporated.                  "Hey Akane, could you hand me that hammer?"
______________________________________________________________________________
The Seasons  stories are at :ftp.netcom.com /pub/jo/joenikki