On Sun, 21 Jul 1996 pcorrig@UOFT02.UTOLEDO.EDU wrote:

Mr. Griffin wrote:

...As he left part of Ryoga's mind registered a sound reminiscent of 
the skin being ripped off a fairly large animal, however he was too busy 
realizing that the shower was on the second floor to contemplate that 
information. 

   Question here: given that by now the Japanese students know very well 
that Monet and Angelo (say) are anything but normal Americans, why is 
Paige (say) so concerned with keeping her mutation a secret from Team 
Ranma? I don't quite follow... 

Well, from what I know of the X-Men as they stand today, being a mutant
isn't exactly something you reveal casually.  Hanging around with
mutants... well, that's one thing.  Actually *being* one is something you
don't reveal to people who are still more or less strangers unless you
absolutely have to.

   For most of her life, that face was a reminder of her shame, her 
abandonment at age six by her intended husband and his father and their 
theft of her dowry.  But last year she finally tracked down the cute 
little boy she had enough of a crush on to convince her father to speak 
to his about marriage; and found a handsome teenager possessed of both 
amazing fighting skills and a strong sense of honor... one who had no
idea of either the planned marriage or his childhood friend's true  
gender. Now her path was different, she and Ranma were friends once  
more (of course if things went her way they would be _far_ more), and 
she could not help but wonder at times why her femininity has proven so 
easy to cast aside or embrace of late. 

   That last sentence is rather confusing. Does Ukyo find her feminine 
side easy to embrace (unlikely from context) or easy to cast aside (more 
likely)? Or did you really mean both? That would appear to be a 
contradiction... 

The way I read it, it might be better phrased as 'to cast aside or embrace
at will of late.'

Then he noticed what seemed like a faint yellow glow surrounding his 
companion.  Before he could make up his mind whether or not it was a 
trick of the light, however, he was distracted by the bones in his hand 
shifting position.
	"Ryoga take it easy!" Everett nearly yelled as he tried to shake
him with his free hand.
	"Nan- oh, forgive me." Ryoga said as he hurriedly released
Everett's hand, "I was... thinking."

   Faint yellow glow? I'm not sure I understand. Is he powering up for a 
shishihokodan (defusing himself just in time)?

I think it's a ki aura related to that sort of thing - the sort you
sometimes see in the anime and manga representing extreme emotions (often
hate or depression.)

	To tell the truth, Emma was still slightly uncomfortable with her
current companions.  She was used to knowing exactly what was on
everybody's mind at all times, whether she used that knowledge or not. 
Unfortunately for her, Tendo Nabiki's psychic defenses proved as
impervious as ever; and while Kuno Kodachi's thoughts were easily
accessible, her brief visit into the girl's dreams the night before had
her lying awake for hours and very, very, frightened of the young gymnast.

   Heh...(I really don't think, however, that Kodachi's as crazy as you've 
painted her. Desire can make anyone do very strange things. I personally 
worry more about Ukyo than Kodachi.)

I really have to get working more quickly on my Kodachi fic...

	"No." ordered Cologne, "It would be best if Shampoo put some work
into discovering the truth for herself, I cannot be there to think for her
all the time and such an exercise of the mind would be beneficial for the
child." 

   Even if the child's life were at stake? Rather cavalier attitude to take. 

The Joketsuzoku are very big on putting themselves into life-threatening
situations to prove themselves.  After all, Shampoo was sent off alone to
try and kill a martial artist who'd proven herself better than Shampoo -
if Ranma had been the sort to react to a deadly threat with deatly force,
Shampoo might have ended up dead fairly quickly, for all they knew.

   To tell you the truth, this scene doesn't show Nabiki in the best of 
lights. (Of course, this may be your intent.)
   Did Nabiki _have_ to sell him the photo? A Ranma pic I'd understand--  
she doesn't like Ranma--or an Akane even, but Monet? (And she seemed so 
proud of it, too...) I thought even Nabiki had a bit more integrity than 
that. Just why does she sell it to Kuno, anyway? It can't be for the 
money (you can't use Japanese yen in American stores, after all; didn't 
Kuno think to change his money at the airport?). To save face, perhaps? 
That would make more sense; she wouldn't want to be shown to refuse a 
paying customer--she has a reputation to maintain--much less let Kuno of all 
people know that she was developing a soft spot for a woman, for God's 
sake. ("<SAPPHITE, PREPARE TO DIE!>")

Actually, given Kunou's very historically-oriented nature, I'm not sure
he'd take it quite like that - as I understand it (though I haven't been
able to research the matter), for most of Japan's history, before it was
exposed more to Western ideas, same-sex relationships weren't really
frowned on, and were, in certain contexts at least, accepted or even taken
for granted.  (I'll have to see if I can find references on this, though.)
I think Kunou would likely find it somewhat distasteful, to an extent
("<What?  For some reason she has chosen to romance the fairer sex rather
than the likes of my illustrious self?  How odd.>"), but I think she's be
in much greater trouble due to the fact that Kunou would now see her as a
rival for Monet's affections, and in some ways no better than Ranma in his
eyes.  ("<Foul blackmailer! What sordid hold to do you have over my
Moorish goddess that forces her into your arms rather than mine?  Never
fear, Monet, my love, I shall rescue you from this plight!  TENDOU NABIKI,
PREPARE TO DIE!>")

   But I still think it would be better if Nabiki refused to sell the 
photo, making some excuse to save face (for instance, noting that in 
America it is the U.S. dollar that serves as currency, not the yen, and 
if Kuno doesn't have any "real" American money that's his own problem).

That would work - but I think part of the point of this scene is that
Nabiki's finally feeling pangs of conscience about her money-grubbing, and
that it's making her feel so sordid.  And she'd only be delaying the
inevitable until he could get to a money-changer's...  at which point we'd
see some variant on this scene again.

	#She had trouble blocking....# Akane thought at she replayed the
fight in her head.  It was not as if Kitty did not know the principles of
close quarters defense and evasion in theory, but the difference between
intellectual knowledge and bone-deep reflex was painfully obvious in
comparison to her skills outside of that.
	#She seemed so... distracted too,# Akane realized belatedly, #like
she was concentrating on something else... or resisting her own reflexes.#

   Mind letting us know why Pryde was "resisting her reflexes"? (I am 
guessing that the answer involves some facts about Pryde's abilities 
which I unfortunately am not privy to. Could it be that if Pryde had gone 
all out she'd have beaten Akane more badly than would have been good for 
Ranma's uncute fiancee?)

Nah.  It's just that Kitty Pryde, a.k.a. Shadowcat, is a phaser.  When she
sees a punch coming at her, her first instinct is to go immaterial, and
let the punch go through her.  Fighting Akane, who doesn't know she's a
mutant, she's got to suppress that reflex and use the blocks she learned
for her martial arts - blocks she's been called on to use rarely at best.

	Ranma gritted his teeth in anger at the prospect of losing so
publicly.  He had not even considered his 'advanced' techniques, nor had
he brought more than a fraction of his full strength into play.  #No.# he
growled inwardly as he dismissed the ideas, #The old man's going down by
skill alone.#

   Hm. Ranma here seems to consider the "advanced techniques" (the 
hiryushotenha and mokotakabisha, for instance) cheating. Why so? He's 
used them against opponents of much lesser ability than Logan. (He's used 
the hiryushotenha against Kuno and the principal, for instance.) Does he 
want to hide the full extent of his abilities from the foreigners? That 
would be understandable, if it were not the case that the School already 
knows he is anything but a normal martial artist (even if he is normal 
genetically), which is at least partly the reason he's in America at all, 
and hiding his abilities at this stage would be useless.

This is a test of how good his martial arts are, not how good his ki
attacks are.  If he used them against Logan, who he believes to be just an
ordinary man, he'd be as much as admitting he couldn't beat him any other
way.  That doesn't apply to Kunou and the Principal, both of whom he's
defeated in other ways before, and who he isn't trying to prove himself
to.

	Kuno's brow furrowed in thought and confusion as he hung from the
mutant's hand, as if his mind was trying to bend itself around a concept
that defied the very laws of reality.
	"<You...>" Kuno said slowly at last, "<you would not date me?>"

   It occurred to me while reading this that if Akane and/or Ranma had simply
told Kuno this at the very beginning, instead of just punching him 
senseless, or, even worse, leading him on (as Ranma has a few times, what 
with his girly-girl "Kuno-SEMPAI!" act and all), they'd have saved 
themselves a lot of bother and heartbreak.

True.  But it would need to be something this forceful to actually get
through.  Akane didn't realize that until far too late, when it seemed
like nothing would get through to him, and Ranma's never been one for
talking out his problems.  Nowadays, the 'Akane and the pig-tailed girl
love me' delusion is so firmly implanted it might take far more than this
to get through to him.  Monet was lucky to catch it early enough.

Besides, if manga characters acted logically all the time, there wouldn't
always be much of a story. ;-)

	#Ain't surprised the kid _over_-estimated me.# he thought,
realizing how a healing factor that healed minor bruises as quickly as
they are made and granted near immunity to fatigue could give the illusion
of invincibility, #He never lost control, never hit harder than he thought
I could take, but those punches would've went _through_ a normal man's
ribcage.#

   The "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" technique?

I'd guess it's just Ranma's usual strength and power.  Kashuu Tenshin
Amaguriken improves speed, not strength.

	Smoothly bringing the kata to a stop, Logan dropped into a full
lotus position and closed his eyes in preparation for a night of
meditation.  As an afterthought, he extended from the back of his hands
the foot-long blades of living bone that he had discovered within his arms
a week after the Avalon incident.  With that done that he sat still and
reached within himself, searching for the place he had found in battle
with Saotome Ranma. 

   (Just what was the Avalon incident?)

I'm not sure, but I think it was the time when Magneto used his magnetism
to pull all of the adamantium lacing Logan's skeleton out through his
pores.  (I'm not an X-fan, but I've heard a few things here and there.)

In general, I agree it's a great fanfic.  (And you do some rather nice,
thorough C&C, as well. ;-)  I, too, am awaiting the next chapter...

--
Scott Johnson |
zagyg@io.com  |        This space intentionally left blank.