Mr. Griffin wrote:

	'Tis done.
	<howls of exultation deleted>

   <stereotypical demonic villain voice on>
   At _last_...
   <stereotypical demonic villain voice off>

	I am not _entirely_ happy with a few parts of it, especially near 
the end; so I would welcome C&C.

   By all means.

	Sorry if I blow up anyone's mailbox, but I am taking _no_ chances 
with the server eating this thing again.

   Good idea. (I've read it over though, and it seems that you wrote it 
rather fast, as the editing looks a little rushed; here and there 
remnants of wording altered still remain. You would do well to go back 
and tidy it up.)

Late Night/Early Morning; Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters:

	#45 seconds to the front of the Girls' Dorm,# Shampoo thought
critically, #I could cut that at least in half if I don't bother with
doors.  Easier to keep the bike there or in the lobby to prevent anyone
from getting suspicious (_if_ Nabiki's big mouth didn't do that already
what is she _thinking_!?), 30 seconds at the most to rescue Ranma, and 15
to the gate.# 

   Heh...and Kun-chan^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hwe thought Shampoo was dumb...

...Satisfied that the only one's that were awake (both of them in the
same room as Kodachi unfortunately for them), either missed her 
entirely or dismissed whatever they sensed as merely nerves; she
carried her bike to the front gate, rechecked the map, and set off 
to scout a few escape routes.

   Now I know Shampoo doesn't trust the staff of the School as far as 
she can kick them; but why is she in such a rush to "escape" so soon? In 
any case, where does a very conspicuous Asian girl like herself expect to 
escape _to_, in America of all places (unless, of course, she just wants 
to elope with Ranma...)?

Before Dawn; Near I-90; Snow Valley, Massachusetts:

	"<You just spotted her... on-ramp to I-90 westbound... yup, purple
hair on a bicycle, that's her... no _don't_ bother trying to follow her,
you couldn't keep up anyway... thanks, Tyger'll pay your bonus.>"
	CLICK

   Heh.

	#Better pull her aside an' tell her what's goin' on though; if
she's paranoid enough t' check the train stations, bus terminals, docks,
_and_ airports (good thing Tyger had watchers all over th' place already)
she's wound up enough t' do someone real harm if she sees a threat.  Can
see where Charley an' Frost thought coming clean from the get-go was a bad
idea, but looks to me like keepin' secrets from 'em gonna do more harm

v> than good... to _us_.#

******

   More on this passage below. I'll save my comments until then.

	"Sorry," Kitty said as she blushed and splashed cold water on her
face, "Kodachi kept us up all night."
	"She don't snore _that_ loud." stated Logan with the assurance of
one who slept in an adjacent room.
	"She don't snore Wolvie," Jubilee corrected, still sounding
slightly traumatized, "she giggles.  All night, really softly, _really_

)> creepily, and non-stop; she _giggles_!"

   Your Kodachi is definitely the "crazy" dubbed Kodachi, not the 
"sinister" subbed one. :)

Dawn; Girls' dorm (2nd floor):

	The alarm clock sounded off precisely at 5:15 and managed to beep
for a whole 10 seconds before it's owner turned it off and stretched out
the kinks in her back.  Paige Guthrie then hopped off the bed and started
to step over to her dresser in order to begin her normal morning routine
with an exercise tape. 
	As she stumbled over the rumpled futon and nearly fell she
suddenly remembered that she would have to alter [her] routine for the next
two weeks.
	"<What have I done?>" Tendo Nabiki grumbled from under her
pillow."<I come halfway around the world and the first thing I do is set
myself up in a room with _two_ morning people.>"

   Poor dear. :)

	Akane looked around the underbrush instinctively at the familiar
grunt, then cried out and ran towards the sight of a small snout poking
through the bushes.
	"P-chan!!" she yelled as she picked up the bedraggled black piglet
and noted the dried blood on his flank, "<You're hurt!>"
	"<Your... pet?>" Paige asked as she looked over the shoulder of the
smaller girl.
	"Un" Akane nodded as she babbled, "He must got in my luggage, and
get hurt after he leave."

   Akane's hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. :)

	Paige tried to get a good look at the piglet's injury as Akane
cuddled it while murmuring apologies and endearments, only to blink in
surprise as she realized that the noticeable gash was more than halfway
healed.
	#If the blood ain't in her clothes,# Paige thought, #li'l thing got
hurt after she got here and ain't no way a cut like that heals up that
quick...
	#An' where'd Ah see that bandanna before?#

   (Corrigan facefaults)

	Maybe it was a shift in humidity, maybe it was the rumble of water
through the pipes, maybe it was a form of precognition developed from
living for weeks at a time a spilled mug of tea away from intensive care
that caused the swine's eyes to snap open.
	What it certain was that P-Chan suddenly realized that Paige
Guthrie liked her showers _hot_!
	With speed born of absolute panic, the demi-piglet scrambled
across the slick tile in hope of outracing the scalding mist and spray. 
He almost succeeded.

   D'oh!

...As he left part of Ryoga's mind registered a sound reminiscent of 
the skin being ripped off a fairly large animal, however he was too busy 
realizing that the shower was on the second floor to contemplate that 
information. 

   Question here: given that by now the Japanese students know very well 
that Monet and Angelo (say) are anything but normal Americans, why is 
Paige (say) so concerned with keeping her mutation a secret from Team 
Ranma? I don't quite follow... 

	#Well,# Ryoga contemplated moments later as he fingered the scar on
his hip where he cut himself on... whatever it was in that oversized
greenhouse, #at least this cut didn't reopen when I changed.#

   Why do I get the feeling Ryoga's getting cut will have unpleasant 
consequences later on?

Morning; Central courtyard; XSfGY:

	Kuonji Ukyo stood by her yatai and stared into the polished steel
blade of her largest spatula, quietly contemplating the young man that
looked back at her.

   Hm...young man you say. You might want to tell us just how Ukyo is 
dressed this fine morning. Is she in her boy's uniform, perhaps? That 
would make most sense; that's what she comes to class in later on, and in 
any case she doesn't look particularly masculine in her okonomiyaki 
seller's outfit (and often looks quite feminine). Here, though, it's not 
entirely clear. She only rarely cooks in her uniform, after all (she only 
did once, in her first story, most likely at the teacher's behest). 
  

   For most of her life, that face was a reminder of her shame, her 
abandonment at age six by her intended husband and his father and their 
theft of her dowry.  But last year she finally tracked down the cute 
little boy she had enough of a crush on to convince her father to speak 
to his about marriage; and found a handsome teenager possessed of both 
amazing fighting skills and a strong sense of honor... one who had no
idea of either the planned marriage or his childhood friend's true  
gender. Now her path was different, she and Ranma were friends once  
more (of course if things went her way they would be _far_ more), and 
she could not help but wonder at times why her femininity has proven so 
easy to cast aside or embrace of late. 

   That last sentence is rather confusing. Does Ukyo find her feminine 
side easy to embrace (unlikely from context) or easy to cast aside (more 
likely)? Or did you really mean both? That would appear to be a 
contradiction... 

	#Funny,# Ukyo thought, #I never did throw away my old clothes,
never got in the habit of _woman's_ clothes much... and come to think of
it, the only times I go out of my way _not_ to pass for a guy are at the
beach or when I'm trying to get Ran-chan's 'attention'.  Maybe I don't
miss womanhood as much as I-#
	Suddenly, she caught a glimpse of her betrothed heading into the
dorm opposite her's and spun to call him over then bent over and busied
herself firing up the wheeled griddle.

   About as subtle as a rabid elephant, huh? :)

	"<Hey Ucchan!>" Ranma called as he approached.  Ukyo immediately
looked up and began staring over his shoulder at the grey skinned youth
following him.
	"Forgive me." she said as she caught herself and bowed politely,
"You surprise me... ano...." 

   How so? She saw them before they saw her. Angelo's appearance perhaps? 
That would make more sense.

	"Would you want Okonomiyaki?" asked Ukyo in an attempt to change
the subject...
	"Good stuff." [Angelo] remarked around a mouthful.
	"Thank you," she remarked, already cooking up another okonomiyaki
for a slightly impatient Ranma, "it is my job."

   Hm. Ukyo's English is a bit better than I personally consider 
plausible. More on that below.

	As Ukyo explained her occupation as a restauranteur, Angelo
thought back to the original room assignments and realized what was wrong
with what he was seeing.
	"Waitaminute," Angelo interrupted, "ain't you supposed t' be a
girl?" 
	"Ano...." Ukyo responded as she blushed.
	"Is long... story." noted Ranma as he gulped down the last of his
breakfast. 
	"Ahh," noted Angelo as he raised an eyebrow and smirked, "you going
_after_ the chicas, si?"
	Ranma and Ukyo initially looked blankly at him, confused by the
'spainglish' terminology; however, Ukyo's eyes soon glimmered with
understanding, widened with surprise, and then narrowed in anger.
	CLANG
	"IS NOT LIKE THAT!!" Ukyo yelled at the mutant, his head firmly
wedged between the flat of her spatula the remainder of his breakfast.

   The beginning of a beautiful friendship...:) (ROTFL!)
   And actually quite ironic given what is to follow...
   Unfortunately the scene as written is a bit confusing. I had to read 
it a few times before I understood what Angelo was driving at--and I 
don't just mean his terminology (though that didn't help) I repeat the 
crucial lines:

	"Waitaminute," Angelo interrupted, "ain't you supposed t' be a
girl?" 
	"Ano...." Ukyo responded as she blushed.
	"Is long... story." noted Ranma as he gulped down the last of his
breakfast. 
	"Ahh," noted Angelo as he raised an eyebrow and smirked, "you going
_after_ the chicas, si?"

   It wasn't until the fifth time I read the passage that I realized Angelo 
was asking _Ukyo_ whether she was going after the "chicas" (to which her 
response, if that term means what I think it means--I'm not up on my 
Hispanic slang--is understandable and probably justified). At first, 
however, I thought he was addressing Ranma (as it was who he spoke last), in 
which case her reaction is an odd one. Make it clearer just who Angelo's 
addressing.
   Casual observation from this installment and the previous two indicates 
that Ukyo is likely to be a fairly minor character in this story. It 
might be argued that it was high time Ms. Kuonji took a back seat to 
other characters, letting them have some fun for a change; she's starred 
in more fanfics than she probably deserves. But still, I'd hate to have 
her just "there," as it were, like Genma or Kodachi (who really are minor 
characters), while everyone else has fun. (Bite me, I've a soft spot for 
Ucchan. So do a lot of writers, I suspect.) Don't feel _compelled_ to do 
an Ukyo bit without reason; but please don't neglect her. 

Main Building (Remedial English); XSfGY:

   Here's as good a place as any to critique your estimates of the 
characters' fluency in English. I'll go through them one by one.
   The girls first.
   Nabiki: As she's the most Westernized of the Tendo girls (and the one 
who's sat through the most English classes), probably the advanced class 
is best for her. No problem there.
   Akane: She's the best student in Ms. Ninomiya's English class, but 
probably wouldn't be as proficient as her sister on paper, and certainly 
isn't orally. Intermediate level's probably fine.
   Ranma:
   (Ranma boots Corrigan to the head)
   Sorry.
   Kodachi: As probably the most Westernized of all the girls (she 
attends a Catholic school, and I needn't even mention her father), her 
English is probably at the intermediate level at least. Whether or not 
she's advanced would depend on her intelligence (estimates of which vary; 
she's smarter than her brother, that we know, but just how much brighter 
is uncertain--she never did figure out Ranma's secret, for instance). Taking 
it as read that she's fairly bright, if a little on the screwy side (as 
you seem to assume) she's probably best left in the advanced class.
   Shampoo: Poor girl hasn't even figured out Japanese yet. Leave her in 
the elementary class.
   Ukyo: Given that she's (apparently) singlehandedly running a 
restaurant full time, I doubt she'd have as much time to study foreign 
languages as Akane. (In the story, the two girls are both in the 
intermediate class.) Besides, as the least Westernized of all the girls, 
with the possible exception of Shampoo (let's face it; the girl thinks 
it's still the 17th century as far as her perceptions of personal honor 
are concerned; what Japanese girl would feel obliged to abandon her 
gender purely out of shame today?), she'd probably be the most 
provincial of the lot and thus the least inclined to acquire English. I 
frankly don't believe Ukyo's fluency would be near Akane's level, much 
less above as appears the case in the story. I'd put her in the 
elementary class with her fiancee and Shampoo.
   Now for the boys.
   Ranma: Considers school a waste of time, and thanks to Hinako I 
suspect English most of all. Probably best left in the elementary class.
   Genma (not that it matters): Never was good with foreign languages, 
with the consequences we all know. Leave him with his son; they can keep 
an eye on each other that way.
   Kuno: Okay, so the poor boy's rather lacking in common sense. Still, I 
suspect the Kunos, for all Tatchi's pretensions, are the most Westernized 
of the families in _Ranma 1/2_. (Kuno calls his father the principal 
"Daddy," in English, for instance. Kodachi, for her part, we've 
established, speaks perfect English, and so, it would appear, does Mr. 
Kuno.) Anyway, Kuno has a thing for literature, as we all know, which 
need not be restricted to Japanese literature (unless of course he 
considers foreign lit. beneath him). Besides, he is a grade level 
above the others (being in Nabiki's class and all). Consider putting him 
with his sister and Nabiki (the only two who'll endure his nonsense for 
more than 15 seconds, anyway) in the advanced class, or with Akane in 
the intermediate class (should be good for some giggles).
   Ryoga: I have the most problem with this fellow. While it's possible 
he knows some English (having picked it up on his travels, perhaps) he 
hasn't studied it systematically in quite a while (having not attended 
school for some time) and in any case probably hasn't spent enough time 
in any English-speaking nation to become fluent. It is certainly unlikely 
that he has had much practice writing it. I suspect he'd be better off in 
the intermediate class. (He gets to be with Akane-san, then. Won't that 
be nice, P-chan? *pow* Sorry.)
   In any case, your treatment of his proficiency in English seems 
somewhat inconsistent. In part one his English is faltering, on a level 
with Akane's perhaps. By this installment, however, he appears to be 
fluent. You'd do well to go back over the three installments and make his 
speech constitently faltering or fluent, depending on which you consider 
him to be.
   Mousse: Evidently hasn't much English--yet--and for now is probably 
best left in the elementary class. The lad has a head for languages, 
though. (He acquired spoken Japanese very quickly.) By the next 
installment he might be in the intermediate class.  

   So, in sum:

Story as it stands:
Advanced class: Ryoga, Nabiki, Kodachi
Intermediate class: Akane, Ukyo
Elementary class: Ranma, Genma, Kuno, Mousse, Shampoo
My own estimation:
A: Nabiki, Kuno, Kodachi
I: Akane, Ryoga
E: Ranma, Genma, Ukyo, Mousse, Shampoo

   Of course, these are only suggestions. Your own arrangement I'm sure 
took other factors into account (dramatic considerations, for instance). 
Don't feel obliged to rewrite the whole section. The only ones I'm really 
worried about are Ukyo and Ryoga, who speak much better English than 
would probably be the case, and Ryoga especially, whose English improves 
between parts one through three for no apparent reason.   

	#Yup, that's her.# Logan thought as the sound of a bicycle chain
moving at impossible speeds reached his ears, #Past th' gate... heading
straight here... must've paced herself on th' way back... what th' hell
sheAIN'TSTOPPIN-#
	CRASH
	RING-RING
	In all his years, in more that a lifetime of travels throughout
this world and beyond, Logan had not seen anything quite like this.  He
could only blink in surprise as the purple haired girl, looking somewhat
tired and disheveled, set her surprisingly intact bicycle by the side of
rather large hole she just made in the brick outer wall.

   I notice the students do not react. Logan might make a note of this. :)

	"<Shampoo sorry teacher.>" she said after she caught her breath and
slammed Mousse into the floor when he tried to embrace her, "<Shampoo go
explore in morning, take time to find way back.>"
	"<Understood.>" Logan said once he regained his composure and
Shampoo took a seat beside Ranma, "<Now let me make a few things clear
students.  Firstly _no_ fighting in class, that means no threats, no
provocation, no challenges.  If you have a problem, it waits until after
class....>
	#What's with her?# Ranma wondered as he watched the wary figure
next to him, #Shampoo's _never_ tried to get this close to me without
tryin' to grab me or feed me or kill me....#

   Again, I know Shampoo doesn't trust the staff of the Institute, but 
why is she this nervous? Did I miss something?

Main Building (Intermediate English):

...It had all gone quietly, until Ukyo (still the picture of a student 
at an all-boys private school outside of the bandolier of spatulas and 
the monstrous thing Kitty insisted be left in the corner of the room) 
had mentioned that she was engaged to Saotome Ranma.  Of course Akane 
grumbled something in japanese, Ukyo responded, and it escalated into a 
shouting match that left her head ringing.
	"<What makes you think Ranchan'd marry a abusive tomboy like
_you_!?!>"
	"<Who are YOU calling _TOMBOY_!?!?!>"
	"<QUIET!!!!!>" Kitty finally yelled at the top of her lungs.
	"<Am I to understand,>" she continued after she collected her
thoughts and the students muttered embarrassed apologies, "<that Saotome
Genma had engaged his son to _both of you?>"

   As the two girls reply in English, and after all Kitty is testing 
their spoken English, it might be better if Kitty asked that in English.

	Ukyo remembered giggling to herself as she played with the
pony-tailed boy in the small gi as their fathers spoke in hushed tones
near the yatai that would be her's... and her husband's....
	Akane recalled watching her father weep openly with joy as he
explained the pact he and his best friend made to unite their families and
schools by marrying his then-newborn son to one of the three Tendo
daughters....
	... days later she ran screaming after the yatai promised as her dowry
while Saotome Genma pulled it down the road and her clueless playmate
waved cheerily from it's rear.
	... after the insanity of the past day, she walked into the bathroom
for a long relaxing soak, only to see a naked boy her age she had never
seen before rise from the steaming water as she stepped in the door clad
only in a towel

   I was about to ask you to consider deleting this passage (passages 
giving information I already know I consider padding) and simply have 
Kitty say something like "Maybe you too had better start from the 
beginning," but of course the information is needed by an X-Men fan 
unfamiliar with Ranma. It might work a bit better though if Kitty had 
each tell their story in (faltering but still more or less colloquial)
English of how she ended up engaged to Mr. Saotome.

	"Yes, sempai." they finally nodded to Kitty.
	#Why is it,# Kitty wondered as she thought back to the madness that
was the exchange students arrival, #that this doesn't surprise me, or look
like Ranma's only problem?#
******

   Hmm. No. Sounds a little forced. Try rephrasing Kitty's aside.
   For instance: 

#Why is it,# Kitty wondered as she thought back to the madness that was 
the exchange students arrival, #that this doesn't surprise me in the 
slightest?#

   It obviously isn't Ranma's only problem, after all.

Main Building (Advanced English):
      Ryoga had remained quiet and brooding all morning except when they 
bumped into Akane and Paige (whereupon he became a nervous, babbling 
wreck).
	#Yup, definite crush.# Everett decided as they approached Ryoga's
classroom.  

   On whom? Akane or Paige? (Of course we know it is Akane; but which 
does Everett think it is?)

Then he noticed what seemed like a faint yellow glow surrounding his 
companion.  Before he could make up his mind whether or not it was a 
trick of the light, however, he was distracted by the bones in his hand 
shifting position.
	"Ryoga take it easy!" Everett nearly yelled as he tried to shake
him with his free hand.
	"Nan- oh, forgive me." Ryoga said as he hurriedly released
Everett's hand, "I was... thinking."

   Faint yellow glow? I'm not sure I understand. Is he powering up for a 
shishihokodan (defusing himself just in time)?

	To tell the truth, Emma was still slightly uncomfortable with her
current companions.  She was used to knowing exactly what was on
everybody's mind at all times, whether she used that knowledge or not. 
Unfortunately for her, Tendo Nabiki's psychic defenses proved as
impervious as ever; and while Kuno Kodachi's thoughts were easily
accessible, her brief visit into the girl's dreams the night before had
her lying awake for hours and very, very, frightened of the young gymnast.

   Heh...(I really don't think, however, that Kodachi's as crazy as you've 
painted her. Desire can make anyone do very strange things. I personally 
worry more about Ukyo than Kodachi.)

	The telepath probed deeper as Ryoga approached his seat, ferreting
out whatever information that could explain a transformation that felt as
routine (to Ryoga) as it was radical.  #Valley of Cursed Springs?# she
thought as she found some of his more significant memories, #Spring of
Drowned Piglet... curse triggered by cold and hot water... oh my lord,
P-Chan?!?#...
	#Frost-sensei!#
	The thought rang in Emma's head despite the fact that it was not
her's.  Not precisely projected, the mental voice still sounded loud and
clear against the psychic background noise.  A strange chill went down her
spine as she slowly turned towards the source of the call only to stare
into the half-closed eyes of Tendo Nabiki.
	#Sensei,# Nabiki thought 'audibly', her face remaining utterly
emotionless, #is it normal procedure for instructors to probe the minds of
students without their permission?#

   Quibble: if Nabiki is addressing Emma in English, I really don't think 
she'd use Japanese honorifics. More likely she'd address her as "Ms. 
Frost" or just "Miss" (or "Ma'am," if Nabiki learnt American English at 
school, but as British English appears to be the more widespread dialect 
of English internationally I don't think it very likely. In Britain and 
Ireland female teachers, even the married ones, are addressed as "Miss" 
by their students; if Nabiki learnt British English, as is most likely, I 
suspect she'd do the same.) 

	Emma fought to keep her reaction from her face and body as she
frantically (and unsuccessfully) probed for any weakening or chinks within
the girl's psi-shields
	#I... err... no.# the telepath finally 'said', realizing _how_ much
she had come to rely on subtle application of her telepathic powers to lie
convincingly.  Even the telepathic nature of Emma's response failed to
conceal her nervousness and shock over being spotted so quickly,
especially by someone who had no trace of psychic ability that she could
detect.  Not surprisingly, the implications were not lost on young Nabiki.
	#May we... discuss this policy sometime later then ma'am?# Nabiki
asked politely, allowing Emma to sense her very real anticipation of
future profit at that point. 
	#Very well,# Emma all but snarled, humiliated at being manipulated
so easily by a head-blind child.  Then aloud to the oblivious class she
said, "Now let's get started, shall we?" 

   Hm. I don't think Nabiki _is_ devoid of psychic ability akin to Emma's. 
She can't probe people's minds, of course, but she can block probes--  
you've made that quite clear--and apparently can tell when probing is 
going on even when it's not directed at her. Could it be that Nabiki 
indeed has latent psychic abilities? (It would explain why she was brought to 
America with her sister. But then I suppose all will be revealed in time...)

	"In fact, Professor Xavier has more in common with the mutant
'super-heroes' called X-Men than a similar interest in the welfare of
'Homo superior', correct?"
	Gateway only nodded, stroking his beard as he tried to figure out
how [Cologne] learned these secrets while spending the better part of
the past half century in the remote Joketsuzoku village.

   Great grandmother very wise. Gateway no know this? (Perhaps she's a 
mutant herself. It would explain her inordinately great age, her uncanny 
abilities and--dare I say it--her looks.)

	"I shall speak to your great-granddaughter about this," Gateway
finally said in an accented voice scratchy with disuse as he finally rose,
"it seems she fears the worst and is willing to act on that assumption." 
	"No." ordered Cologne, "It would be best if Shampoo put some work
into discovering the truth for herself, I cannot be there to think for her
all the time and such an exercise of the mind would be beneficial for the
child." 

   Even if the child's life were at stake? Rather cavalier attitude to take. 

	Gateway simply glared at her grimly as he began to unwind the
bullroarer in preparation for his return to the 'States.
	"Not a word about my 'Machiavellian Scheming' _young_ _man_,"
Cologne responded, "if I were as 'ethical' as you liked, our bleached
bones may still be under Uluru."

   I'd ask what she referred to, but it's probably not important here, and 
besides you probably wouldn't tell me. :)

	"And what of Sinister?" Gateway asked, locking eyes with the older
woman.
	"Xavier's minions have dealt with the whelp in the past, yes?" 
Cologne noted, holding up a hand to silence Gateway's retort, "I suspect
that between the 'instructors' at this place, Shampoo, the Son-in-Law, and
_his_ friends; young Essex may find his hands full.

   You'll have to remind me who Nathaniel Essex is. I presume he's an 
old enemy of the X-men, but my searches of what information I could 
find about the X-men on the Internet turned up a blank.
   I know that Sinister is an X-enemy, but apart from that I know little 
about him. If you would please remind me who he is, as well, I'd be 
grateful. (There's probably no need to do so in the story, though--please 
don't misunderstand me.) 

	"Consider your silence payment of the debt you owe me Australian,"
she concluded with a note of command, "you have certainly done more over
less."

   Again, I'd ask, but if it matters, you'll probably tell us eventually.

Noon; Courtyard, Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters:

...Shampoo had not made any move to shower [Ranma] with her normal 
affection since their arrival at the airport; but had silently remained by
his side with a wary expression all day, simply back-fisting Mousse into
the wall without even looking as Ranma amused himself with Kuno before
clocking the kendoist.  Now she simply shadowed him silently as he walked
outside and looked about for less eerie companionship.
	"'Oy!  Angelo!" he called as he recognized the figure leaning
against the wall...
	[Angelo] paused as he felt the intense gaze of the purple-haired woman
standing slightly behind Ranma.  Something about her posture tugged at
him, and he instinctively made ready to either fight or run (depending on
whether his opponent came at him with fists or a firearm) while Ranma
blinked in confusion.  Then Shampoo turned aside, dismissing him as an
immediate threat as she maintained her vigil...
	#She reminds me of... me,# Angelo thought as he took another look
at the wary Joketsuzoku, #when I was running through the wrong turf
wearin' the wrong colors and _waitin'_ to get jumped.#

   Man. Has Shampoo ever been this tense? :) And just why, as I asked 
before? What unnerves her that does not unnerve the others about the 
School? She clearly suspects the worst; but what gives her that 
suspicion? She has reason later, but she seems might spooked as it is, 
far more than the others.
   Part of the reason I ask is that Shampoo comes of in the manga and 
anime as a very childlike individual, and children are generally very 
trusting creatures. 

	"<Womanizing Pervert!>"
	"<Violent Tomboy!>"
	"Are they _always_ like this?" Paige asked Ukyo as she and Angelo
listened to the escalating insults.
	"Un." Ukyo mumbled as she watched the scene before her sadly.

   This is what I mean about Ucchan appearing to be just "there." 
Hopefully she'll get a bit more life later on...

	"<Good afternoon children.>" Monet said mildly as she hovered
overhead.
	Shampoo glanced upward, her annoyed frown returning to stay.  "Go
away Dark Girl." she said in careful, accented english.
	"[Remember that you are a guest here _little_ _girl_,]" Monet
replied in chinese as she looked contemptuously at the woman near her
(designer) boot tips, "[and show more respect towards your hosts.]"
	"[Respect is given to those who earn it fellow student,]" Shampoo
countered as her eyes narrowed, "[and at least _I_ can defend myself... or
did you forget what happened to that perfect little nose yesterday?]"
	"[I do not have my back turned at the moment.]" Monet said icily as
she drifted down to ground level and stared the shorter woman in the eyes,
"[would you care to refresh my memory?]"
	"<Anybody following this?>" Ranma inquired as he scratched his head. 
Nobody answered

   Heh.

	"They... glowin'?" Angelo asked as he squinted at the two
sinophones, trying to make out the blue auras that shimmered faintly in
the midday sun.
	"Yes," Ukyo said in a worried tone, "is chi... energy from
anger...."

   (I suspect Ukyo would use the Japanese word "ki.")

	Shampoo tensed.  Her first instinct was to throw down the gauntlet
and beat some humility into this insufferably arrogant pest. 
Unfortunately not only would such recreation distract her from her primary
purpose here, but by distracting her betrothed she could make him more
vulnerable from an attack from behind. 
	#Decisions, decisions....# she mused.
	"<SAOTOME!  DEFEND YOURSELF!!>" yelled Ryoga from behind them as
Everett groaned, berating himself for not remembering to _avoid_ the Lost
Boy's eternal rival as he guided him to the kitchen/lounge.
	"<RANMA-SAMA!  COME AWAY WITH ME DARLING!!!>" cried Kodachi as she
bounded towards the little knot of students.

   Oh dear. :)

	Akane sighed and turned around, knowing that her sister had
arrived and expecting her to be taking wagers from the local students
already.
	They both froze.
******

	"K-konichi... ano... g-g-good afternoon." Nabiki babbled nervously,
trying to rally her thoughts into coherence.
	"urm... er... Hello, Nabiki." Monet said, lost those chocolate
brown eyes once more.

    (Shouldn't that be "lost _in_ those chocolate brown eyes"? This is 
what I meant about the rushed editing job.)

	They stood for several seconds, trying to think of something to
say or even think straight period when they noticed the 6 pairs of eyes
staring at them with a no little surprise and confusion.
	Nabiki came to her senses first, striding off in a random
direction as quickly as she could without looking like she was running. 
Monet blinked, assumed a reasonable approximation of her usual aloof
expression, and took off in a vertical direction just as promptly.
	Nabiki happened to glance over her shoulder at that moment, just
in time to see her rise into the sky like a goddess...[A]s Monet lazily 
arced towards the further reaches of campus, the sun glimmering off of 
her blouse and making her skin shine like bronze, Nabiki snapped a 
perfect photo with her most expensive camera. 
******

   Well. I really don't know what to say...
   Question here though: I (and a few other readers of the Ranma comic) 
had suspected that Nabiki had been homosexual, or at least bisexual, for 
quite some time before the time this story seems to be set in, for various 
reasons. (All those photos and her habit of poking female Ranma's chest, 
for instance, were evidence for the prosecution. I take it, though,  
given the amount of confusion, shock and shame that Nabiki's little crush 
inspires in our favorite con artist, however, that you aren't one of 
them.) What evidence do we have though that Monet is inclined that way 
though? What information I found about her said that she found boys 
disgusting, but that could be plain old immaturity. I understand that Monet 
can act in quite a childlike fashion now and again; for instance, a coloring 
book is among her prized possessions...

	#Idiot brought it on himself.# Akane thought, unconsciously
recalling the daily battles between herself and 20+ lovesick jocks that
sought to fulfill Kuno's requirement for even _thinking_ about asking her
out.  She believed she was skilled in the arts of combat then, and the
boys she constantly beat up tended to agree with her.
	Then Ranma showed up.
	The memory of the compact figure dodging her blows with
embarrassing ease was galling enough; but the realization that of the
freaks that followed her fiance to Nerima, she could only _just_ hold her
own against _one_ of them was utterly infuriating sometimes.

   (Which one?)

	Her hands faded from sight as she seethed, dwelling on the fact
that she had wound up as a Captured Maiden to be Rescued several times
over the past year or so.  Defeated... helpless....
	"AARRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" she suddenly screamed, spinning around,
yanking her hands back into reality with a massive wooden mallet clasped
between them, and venting her anger on the ground for lack of a better
target.
	She slumped to the ground and sighed sadly, staring at the cracked
concrete as the mallet faded from existence once more.  Her rational mind
constantly told her that superior skill could only be obtained through
more training, perhaps something along the lines of Ryoga's constant
wanderings.
	*sigh* #But if only I could begin to learn _ONE_ technique,# Akane
thought, #just one single technique that RANMA hasn't mastered or improved
on....#

   But she has one--the ability to draw weapons out of Hammerspace at 
will. (Which may be precisely your point. Akane doesn't seem to realize 
this, though.) Or did you have something else in mind? Her untapped 
poisoning ability, perhaps? Or her really hot temper? (Who needs a 
nuclear reactor when you've got Akane?...)
   Wait.
   If she could tap her anger like Ryoga taps his sadness and Ranma his 
confidence...am I on the right track?

	Suddenly she perked up and dug into her bookbag, recalling the one
thing that she felt sure she could impress Ranma with.  Something that
occasionally cheered her up anyway.  With a smile of triumph, she pulled
the notes she made on the flight to the 'States.
	With a lighter step, she headed for the kitchen.

   Akane, Akane, Akane...wasn't it shown in the third OAV that Ranma's a 
better cook than you are? Cooking's the last thing you could impress him 
with...FOR GOD'S SAKE GIRL KEEP AWAY FROM THAT KITCHEN!  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *SLAP* sorry. 

	#Huh?# Jono exclaimed as he rubbed his head, noticing the new wall
for the first time.  He glanced around at the new construction (#So
_that's_ what the noise was last night...#) and stepped through the door
in the wall.
	The chamber was only big enough for one and rather dimly lit in
the center, while three of the walls were starkly spotlighted with
florescent tubes that lit up as soon as he entered.  On the one to the
left were numerous snapshots and mini-posters of Tendo Akane running,
shattering bricks, performing katas, beating people up (usually Ranma),
and so forth.
	The wall to the right was also adorned with pictures, but of a
more risque nature.  The strange girl in these images was asian, with
fire-red hair and a naggingly familiar face; her image captured either
sleeping sprawled out on a futon in a too-tight tank top and boxers, or
hanging around a house and courtyard in various states of undress (and
frequently soaking wet) with an almost mannish casualness.
	The wall directly in front of Jono was totally blank except for a
single word in latin script at the bottom: Monet.
	The mutant called Chamber shook his head and backed out of the
shrine, feeling genuine pity for the objects of worship therein.

   No comment.

Outside Garage, XSfGY: 

	Sean Cassidy shook his head as he looked around.  He had read
(translated) reports of the alleged discipline problems and property
damage figures associated with these students, and despite what he and his
daughter saw when they were at the airport he did not... _could_ not
completely believe them.
	Until now.
	He looked first at the rather large crater in the driveway, then
at Ranma (who slouched and hung his head) and Ryoga (who was too busy
glaring at Ranma to notice).
	"Would any of ye' kindly tell me how this happened?" he asked
sternly, silently cursing his nonexistent japanese...

   Tee hee...

	"I guess Ranma and Ryoga have a bit of a rivalry going Mr. 
Cassidy." Everett noted with a sigh, "They claim to get into um... tussles
like this quite a bit back home."...
	"Maybe you need a more structured setting in which to work off
your... frustrations." Emma Frost observed as she stepped around the
corner, "There are a few clearings in the Biosphere where we routinely use
for self defense training.  Perhaps we should have regular sparring
sessions in there as opposed to...." she gestured eloquently, pretending
to ignore Ryoga's nervousness, "Beginning tonight, perhaps?"

   Good idea, Ms. Frost. Very good idea.
   Except...

	#_Why_ did ye do that Emma?# Sean thought as the two administrators
left the scene of battle.
	#Aren't _you_ the one who prefers the 'carrot' when dealing with
the children in our care?# Emma responded smugly...
	#One question then, Emma.# Sean asked, #What will we do about
Penance?#
	#...#

   Neatly explaining Ryoga's nervousness.

Early Afternoon; Woodlands; XSfGY grounds:

	"<Well?>" [Logan] said after a moment of cool observation.
	"I... ano... cooked this for Ranma..." Akane answered as she
blushed crimson and held out the slightly battered burger, "... but he...
ran away."
	"She try poison me!" Ranma protested.
	Logan raised an eyebrow at the boy, than looked at Akane and
discreetly sniffed the item in question.  Taking this as a request, Akane
politely handed it to him.
	#No toxins I recognize in here...# thought Logan as he looked at it
with a dubious expression, #... but this smells... wrong.# Then his saw
Akane's worried and expectant expression out of the corner of his eye and
sighed inwardly.  Cursing his paternalistic weakness for teenage girls, he
took a bite of the hamburger, chewed quickly, and swallowed.
	Then the cramps hit.

   Cue incidental music from "Breaking Point" episode (Nettohen 10, was 
it? I can't remember...) when Ranma and Genma first taste Akane's curry 
here...:)
   (For future reference: As of volume 26 of the manga Akane's curry, at 
least, was edible, perhaps even tasty, even without the water of life, 
though that didn't hurt, of course. So not all her food is toxic. 
_Please_ don't overdo the toxic food gag. Mind you just how good she is 
at cooking burgers is not known...)

	"<You OK sensei?>" Ranma asked.
	"Yea, fine." Logan responded in a hoarse voice as he levered
himself away from the tree, picked bark from the back of his sweater with
his clean hand, and wiped his brow with the back of his other one. 
Spotting Akane's dejected form behind Ranma, he debated being diplomatic
for a moment, then sighed and leveled with her.  "<Kid,>" the mutant said
bluntly, "<you can't cook.>" 
	"<Told'ya>" Ranma piped in.
	Akane slugged the boy in the gut, then sighed sadly.  "<Sensei's
still standing,>" she said to herself, "<at least that's an improvement.>"

   On what? (By the Shinnosuke story, as I noted, her cooking was no 
longer toxic--at least, not all of it--and that immediately followed the 
first Hinako story, which this story must date after. Of course we do not 
know how much time passed between the Hinako and Shinnosuke stories.)

	Logan jerked his head up at that last statement, then stepped
around Ranma to look her directly in the eye.  "<How many of those did you
make, Akane?>" he asked the startled girl, his voice tense and his eyes
hard.
	"<A-about fifteen S-sensei,>" Akane stammered fearfully, "<enough
for the whole cla->"
	Logan broke into a sprint towards the center of campus.

   <Oh my...> :)

Student Lounge, near Girls' Dorm, XSfGY

	"<What foul malady doth strike down the mighty Blue Thund-*URRGH*>"
Kuno Tatewaki groaned as he lay writhing on the ground.
	"Easy Ev," Jubilee said as the Everett sat beside her with his head
between his knees, "you're gonna be OK... just breath deep."
	"Just got th' meat yesterday." Paige gasped out between heaves as
she bent over the sink in the adjacent kitchen, "_How'd_ it go bad like...
*ULLPP*"
	"Was not the meat," Ukyo corrected, trying not to look at the
extensive greenish-grey folds of skin hanging off of Angelo as he slumped
against the sink, "it was Akane."
	Logan muttered a curse under his breath as he burst into the room. 
He glanced at Jubilee and beckoned the self-appointed medic to a corner of
the room as Ranma burst into the door.
	"Ranma-sama!" Kodachi said as she looked up from the chemistry
equipment she was using to analyze the hamburger and leapt toward him,
"<You're safe from that ha- *CLANG*>"
	"Your girl tryin' t' kill us, Saotome?" Angelo asked his roommate
wearily as Ukyo re-holstered her battle-spatula.
	"No!" Ranma replied defensively, "Was aku... asa... mistake!"

   Who needs Magneto when you've got Akane? :)
   (A perspective on Western comic book super heroes we rarely enjoy...)

	"Akane-san meant no harm," Ryoga said darkly after guzzling another
liter of soda in an attempt to wash the foul taste from his mouth, "she
just tried to cook a... lunch that _someone_ would appreciate enough to at
least _taste_!"

   This is what I meant about Ryoga's English. It improves a bit too 
quickly between part one and here.

	"<There's plenty of anti-toxin the school infirmary,>" Logan told
the other students, "<I'll bring some back here, then we'll take everybody
who's ill to their rooms.  Oh, and world history's postponed for an
hour.>"
	"Sensei please," Akane said shyly, "may I help in the i- i-?"
	"Iie." Logan said firmly, "<You stay and help Jubilee and the
others, I'll get it on my own.>"
	With that, he walked out the front door.
	Nobody noticed Shampoo follow him out a moment later.
******

Basement, Main Building, XSfGY:

	Shampoo crept silently down the hall, following the unconcerned
steps that echoed from around the corner.  #Why not take them to this
'infirmary' when they are so ill?# the Jokutsuzoku thought, #And why would
he insist on going alone unless there was something to hide?#...

	A direct confrontation in the open was out of the question and [Logan]
knew it.  Shampoo was in no mood to sit down and hear an explanation of
her own volition; too confident in her abilities to be frightened into
surrender by the sight of his claws; and too skilled, too fast, and (as
her entrance that morning demonstrated) _way_ to strong for him to stop
physically without using said claws.
	#Gonna have t' talk to her face to face,# the mutant thought as he
stood before the palm-print activated entrance, #and lettin' her wear
herself out on a pair o' titanium bulkheads while I get the medicine back
to the others ain't a bad idea....#

   Yes, but when? Now? She's hardly in the mood. As it is all this cloak 
and dagger business would spook Shampoo even more than she actually is, 
precisely what Logan doesn't need. And just when does Logan plan to 
reveal all to our favorite Amazon? Sooner rather than later, I hope...

	Shampoo blinked in surprise at the silence of the door mechanism. 
A quiet hiss, and she heard Logan walk into a room.  She sprinted around
the corner just in time to see the panel shut.
	#Concealed door in the wall?# Shampoo mused, #Should be easy to
break down... too easy.#...
	#It seems 'Sensei' wants me to go through _that_ door...# Shampoo
decided as she focused her mind and reached out of this reality with her
hand, absently recalling the two years she spent mastering what she saw
Mousse do when they were nine... while the boy honed that same skill
beyond what she could ever hope to accomplish.
	#... so I'll make my own.# she smiled as she drew back her bonbori.

   Guess I was wrong. Akane's not the master of Hammerspace. That would 
be Mousse. (Helps explain his hidden weaponry. No way he could fit that 
potty in his cloak. :) )

	"Should've remembered kid ain't a strong believer in walls." Logan
muttered as he set the speaker near the basement entrance to 'Listen
Only', "If I blew this one..."...After a few seconds, he let out the 
breath he had been holding when he heard Shampoo control her breathing and 
begin walking away fairly calmly.
	#Nothing she saw spooked 'er enough to bolt." Logan concluded as he
headed back to retrieve the broad spectrum anti-toxin stored in the
medi-lab, #Still, I better keep an eye on her.#
	His frown then deepened as he remembered how his one-time sensei
Ogun conjured shuriken or smoke bombs from thin air on occasion and began
to realize exactly _how_ dangerous these kids might be.

   Come to think of it, all of Team Ranma seem to have Hammerspace 
capability; Ryoga's bandannas, Ukyo's grill, Kodachi's roses, etc... 

	Moments before Logan left Shampoo stepped away from the wall, her
face pale and eyes wide in shock as the massive mace dropped from her
fingers.  The paneling and plaster was crushed beneath her blow as she
expected, but beneath the false front was a barrier of some gleaming metal
she had never seen.
	It was obvious to Shampoo that her hosts were hiding something out
of the ordinary and potentially dangerous from her and her companions. 
Moreover, the wisest course of action at the moment struck her as
something along the lines of 'Grab Bike, Grab Ranma, and Get Out Of Here
_Now_!'
	#Hold it!# said something in the back of her mind before she took a
single step, #You have no real idea what's going on here or who knows
about it.  If you panic now and let everybody realize what you something,

   Huh? (Like I said, some more editing is in order.) Did you perhaps 
mean "let everybody realize that you know something"?

who knows what could be done to the ones you leave behind even _IF_ you
got away in one piece.  If you stay and pretend like nothing has happened,
you could get to the bottom of this without anyone being the wiser until
it's too late.#
	Shampoo nodded to herself and carefully slipped out of the
basement after putting the bonbori back where she got it from.

   I don't know. If I heard voices in my head coming from nowhere in 
particular, I'd be even more frightened than ever.

Head Administrator's Office; Main Building; XSfGY:

	#Cassidy must be rubbing off on me.# Emma Frost thought as she
recalled her reluctance to rewrite the Joketsuzoku memories and be done
with it... 
	#Logan what were you _thinking_?!?# the telepath asked.
	#Figured it'd be safer t' tell her everything now that to wait for
her to guess wrong and panic.# Logan replied calmly, #Or do you want her
to run off thinkin' we're th' enemy.#

   Ah, but he didn't, did he?

	#If you had come to me about the girl's suspicions earlier,# Emma
noted, #I could have given her whatever answers she needed without this
subterfuge.#
	#She needs answers she can trust Frost,# he answered bluntly, #not
somebody playin' with her head.# With that, Logan used the training Xavier
gave him to shut Emma out of his head as he headed back to the student
lounge.

   Personally, I must agree with Emma. What's with all of Logan's cloak 
and dagger business? It would seem calculated to make Shampoo more 
suspicious than she already is.
   And now the scene you've all been waiting for...

Late Afternoon; Girls' Dorm, XSfGY:

	Nabiki sat quietly on the porch, lost in thought as quietly soaked
in the sunlight.  She had a brief chuckle moments ago as she recalled the
history texbook she had read earlier and wondered what Kuno's reaction
would be to the chapters on the Pacific War would be...

   Heh.

	Now she stared silently at the photograph of one of those destined
to do battle and found herself dreaming of flight, of being carried into
the clouds by gentle brown hands that could rend steel, of looking into
those eyes and....

   ROTFLMAO!

	#What am I _thinking_!!!!# Nabiki mentally yelled, #I mean she's
attractive and all but so's Ranma!  Really what does she have except for
those eyes... that hair... that smooth skin... her voice... I wonder what
her laugh is like?#

   "And they called it puppy love..."

	..."<Sorry Kuno-chan,>" Nabiki said as her best customer picked himself
up from where he fainted, "<no new photos of Akane today, and your
'Pig-Tailed Goddess' is nowhere to be found at the moment.>"
	"<In truth, I have little need for images of those two glorious
beauties at the moment,>" Kuno announced (much to her surprise), "<For
this day I wish to see... HER!>"
	Nabiki blinked in surprise and paled slightly as she remembered
that the photograph she had been mooning over was still in her left hand. 
She moved to conceal it but martial arts trained and lust motivated
reflexes proved more than her match.
	"<My Moorish Idol....>" Kuno whispered as he stared at the picture,
then he dug into his robes to pull out a bulging wallet.  "<For this one,
single, exquisite image,>" the kendoist proclaimed, "<I would pay 2500,
5000, nay 10,000 yen!!>"
	Nabiki sat frozen as Kuno ranted; eagerness, even greed at the
prospect of a single photo making her more money than two rolls of film
containing her usual models would have warring with... something else.
	"Hey, what's going on down there?" Paige groaned loudly from within
her room overhead.
	"...."
	"<15,000?>"
	Nabiki clenched her eyes shut as she snatched the wallet from
Kuno's hand, wrenched out the final amount by feel, and unceremoniously
dropped it as she half-ran towards the woods.  The coldly rational side of
her mind told her that it was simply a photo of an attractive woman,
something she sold to the idiot on a regular basis.
	But then why did she feel so... dirty?
******

   To tell you the truth, this scene doesn't show Nabiki in the best of 
lights. (Of course, this may be your intent.)
   Did Nabiki _have_ to sell him the photo? A Ranma pic I'd understand--  
she doesn't like Ranma--or an Akane even, but Monet? (And she seemed so 
proud of it, too...) I thought even Nabiki had a bit more integrity than 
that. Just why does she sell it to Kuno, anyway? It can't be for the 
money (you can't use Japanese yen in American stores, after all; didn't 
Kuno think to change his money at the airport?). To save face, perhaps? 
That would make more sense; she wouldn't want to be shown to refuse a 
paying customer--she has a reputation to maintain--much less let Kuno of all 
people know that she was developing a soft spot for a woman, for God's 
sake. ("<SAPPHITE, PREPARE TO DIE!>")
   But I still think it would be better if Nabiki refused to sell the 
photo, making some excuse to save face (for instance, noting that in 
America it is the U.S. dollar that serves as currency, not the yen, and 
if Kuno doesn't have any "real" American money that's his own problem).

Evening; BioSphere, XSfGY:

	"Are you OK Pryde-sempai?" Akane asked slowly as she helped Kitty
up.
	"I'll be (ow) fine," the older girl replied, "but 'three out of
five' was _not_ a good idea.  You're stronger than you look."
	"Thank you," Akane beamed, glancing meaningfully at an unusually
contemplative Ranma, "you fight very well too."
	"<Must've been holding back.>" her fiance thought aloud, trying to
understand how Akane could touch a woman capable of dodging too quickly
for _him_ to see her move.
	Akane saw red.  Were she not so winded by her sparring session she
would have beaten him senseless for that crack.  Instead, she made it a
point to trod _heavily_ on his feet as she stormed into the woods.
	After a few minutes she leaned heavily against a large tree and
thought back on the match and Ranma's comment.  To be honest, she was
surprised by the comparative ease with which she beat the Kitty.  While
she _did_ have a vast advantage over Pryde in brute strength and
toughness; the gaijin not only outclassed her in agility and speed, but
her refined fighting style held more than a hint of a ninja's killing
arts.
	#She had trouble blocking....# Akane thought at she replayed the
fight in her head.  It was not as if Kitty did not know the principles of
close quarters defense and evasion in theory, but the difference between
intellectual knowledge and bone-deep reflex was painfully obvious in
comparison to her skills outside of that.
	#She seemed so... distracted too,# Akane realized belatedly, #like
she was concentrating on something else... or resisting her own reflexes.#

   Mind letting us know why Pryde was "resisting her reflexes"? (I am 
guessing that the answer involves some facts about Pryde's abilities 
which I unfortunately am not privy to. Could it be that if Pryde had gone 
all out she'd have beaten Akane more badly than would have been good for 
Ranma's uncute fiancee?)

	"<What'd I do _now_?>" grumbled Ranma as he rubbed his foot in
annoyance and stared off into the trees.
	"<She should be all right.>" Kitty said calmly, cutting off Genma
before he started raving about the boy driving off his fiancee, "<She
probably just needs to blow off some steam.  Nothing in here would hurt
her anyway.>"

   Umm...what about Penance? I got the impression there might be a 
problem if Akane and that particular mutant crossed paths...

	Logan winked at the young woman, than looked Ranma over carefully
for several moments.  "<You think you're good, don't you kid?>" he finally
stated.
	"<No, Sensei.>" Ranma stated with an arrogant smile, "<I _am_
good.>" 

   Said the master of the mokotakabisha. (Excellent.)

	Logan's eyes gleamed as he cracked his knuckles.  "<Prove it.>"

   D'oh!

	Ranma was past frustrated.  He would never have willingly admitted
it, but he was beginning to worry.  Within seconds of the sparring
session's beginning it was obvious that Logan could not hope to equal his
speed and agility, nor could he do more than match _Akane's_ physical
strength.
	Half an hour later it was equally obvious that those were the only
two reasons Ranma was still standing.

   Again Ranma bites off more than he can chew...:)

	#What _is_ this guy?# Ranma wondered as he backed off panting and
narrowed his eyes at the mountain man, #He's not even breathin' hard
and... ain't got a mark on him!?!# Then he glanced from the corner of his
eyes and realized that all the students aside from Ryoga was watching the
fight raptly, even the kid's Akane poisoned had crawled out of bed to join
the audience.
	Ranma gritted his teeth in anger at the prospect of losing so
publicly.  He had not even considered his 'advanced' techniques, nor had
he brought more than a fraction of his full strength into play.  #No.# he
growled inwardly as he dismissed the ideas, #The old man's going down by
skill alone.#

   Hm. Ranma here seems to consider the "advanced techniques" (the 
hiryushotenha and mokotakabisha, for instance) cheating. Why so? He's 
used them against opponents of much lesser ability than Logan. (He's used 
the hiryushotenha against Kuno and the principal, for instance.) Does he 
want to hide the full extent of his abilities from the foreigners? That 
would be understandable, if it were not the case that the School already 
knows he is anything but a normal martial artist (even if he is normal 
genetically), which is at least partly the reason he's in America at all, 
and hiding his abilities at this stage would be useless.

	Even so he redoubled his efforts on the next attack, absorbing
Logan's blows long nought to nail him with body blows to his ribs and a
jumping spin-kick toward his head.  Then as he landed, Ranma went white as
he saw Logan stumble back with a noticeable gash on the side of his face.
	#Masaka!# Ranma gasped as he stepped forward, #I-I _couldn't_ have
hit him that hard!# Before he could draw breath to offer assistance or
call for help, Logan locked eyes with him and a predatory smile spread
across his creased features as he wiped the blood from his cheek.
	The cut was gone.
	Forcing his heart down from his throat, Ranma stepped brought his
hands up in a semblance of a ready stance at Logan's unspoken command to
continue.  The fight did not last much longer.

   Good to know Western products still have some advantages over Japanese 
imports...:) 

Night; Student Lounge, XSfGY:

	"<Kuno Tatewaki,>" Monet began coldly, interrupting his poetry
recital as she lifted the boy to head level and looked him in the eye
while crumpling the roses in her free hand like tissue paper, "<Let me
make something perfectly clear. I am not in love with you, I do not find
you exceptionally attractive, I do not particularly like you as a person,
and it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to tolerate your
presence.  Now you _will_ stop sending me flowers, love letters, and other
such 'tokens of affection'; as well as make it a point to avoid me as much
as possible; or there will be an International Incident in the near
future.>
	"<Now have I made myself _perfectly_ clear?>" Monet concluded as she
showed him the green pulp oozing from between her fingers.
	Kuno's brow furrowed in thought and confusion as he hung from the
mutant's hand, as if his mind was trying to bend itself around a concept
that defied the very laws of reality.
	"<You...>" Kuno said slowly at last, "<you would not date me?>"

   It occurred to me while reading this that if Akane and/or Ranma had simply
told Kuno this at the very beginning, instead of just punching him 
senseless, or, even worse, leading him on (as Ranma has a few times, what 
with his girly-girl "Kuno-SEMPAI!" act and all), they'd have saved 
themselves a lot of bother and heartbreak.
   The scene is priceless, though.

	"<How do you silence this fool?>" Monet asked as a wall cracked and
began to crumble from the air pressure of Kuno's strikes.
	"<Violence usually works.>" Nabiki muttered half to herself from
across the room.

   Heh.

	"I see...." Monet muttered as she turned and examined the pattern
of Kuno's strikes.
	Ranma froze in mid-bend as Monet reached out and snatched Kuno's
blade out of hands with considerable (to _him_) speed, and tossed said
samurai over her shoulder (and into the furthest wall) with a casual flick
of her wrist. 
	Kitty poked her head through the doorway (making sure the door was
open first) and looked on numbly as gravity pulled Kuno out of a fresh
impression in the wall and onto the floor, then turned to glare at Monet.
	"Tatewaki was attacking Ranma, Katherine." the Moor explained
calmly as she carefully examined the wooden blade...
	"Just hit him harder next time, please?" Kitty asked, beginning to
fully realize what she and the others had gotten themselves into.

   I notice that, unlike Ranma and company, Monet didn't or couldn't send 
Kuno into LEO...:)

Night; Forest, XSfGY Grounds.

	#Ain't surprised the kid _over_-estimated me.# he thought,
realizing how a healing factor that healed minor bruises as quickly as
they are made and granted near immunity to fatigue could give the illusion
of invincibility, #He never lost control, never hit harder than he thought
I could take, but those punches would've went _through_ a normal man's
ribcage.#

   The "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" technique?

	Three months ago, the greatest concern such a miscalculation would
have caused Logan was whether Ranma's hands would heal correctly.  After
Magneto used his powers to leach the unbreakable adamantium from his
skeleton and pull it out of him through his pores, however, he was but
flesh and (regenerative abilities aside) nearly as vulnerable as any
human.  He twisted his torso, forcing himself to feel his muscles slide
along his entire ribcage; even if a fracture along a single rib had healed
cleanly, he would have noticed the callus for the next day if he looked
for it.
	There was no sign they had even cracked.
	Smoothly bringing the kata to a stop, Logan dropped into a full
lotus position and closed his eyes in preparation for a night of
meditation.  As an afterthought, he extended from the back of his hands
the foot-long blades of living bone that he had discovered within his arms
a week after the Avalon incident.  With that done that he sat still and
reached within himself, searching for the place he had found in battle
with Saotome Ranma. 

   (Just what was the Avalon incident?)

	If his eyes were open, he might have noticed the faint red glow of
chi, curling smoke-like from his claws.
******

To be continued

   Neat ending passage there.
   General comment at this point: the story itself seems to be moving 
very slowly at this point. Parts 1 through 3 seem to have been mostly 
build up. I know you'll get to the actual story soon enough; but to be 
honest three chapters where the conflict to be resolved is only hinted at 
leaves one a tad impatient. With no conflict, after all, there is no 
story, and three chapters without conflict could easily lose the less 
patient reader, however well written.

	Now if you've read this much, you may be interested in what is 
next.  So here is a brief outline of the second half of X-Change Students.

	Chapter 4: A field trip to New York brings Ranma, Jubilee, Ryoga, 
Logan, and Ukyo to the heart of an already lively town.  Meanwhile an 
accidental discovery, a slit throat, and a long simmering grudge brings 
Shampoo and Monet to _serious_ blows.  Needless to say, a few revelations 
occur here.

   I guess a lot of my questions will have to wait until then.

	Chapter 5: As Tendo Akane begins her ascent to power, an english
teacher brings down the X-Men and a few old fiends attack the kids in 
Massachusetts.

   I take it Akane will not be seeking political office. I'll take that 
to mean that she too will get an "ultimate attack". (_Does_ she get to tap 
heranger for peaceful or other purposes? :) ) It'll be nice to see that. 
Damsel in Distress doesn't become her. However given her hot temper it's 
probably just as well she didn't get any "ultimate attack" before now. 
The Tendo Dojo'd be a smoking ruin long ago. :)
   I presume the English teacher is Hinako. (I've believed for a long 
time that the kid should've used her English skills to get a job with the 
the U.S. Army...) Do you intend to do anything else with Happosai? As the 
creator of the happogoensatsu he might be of use to the X-Men against 
Hinako; mind you he couldn't help Ranma against the happogojuensatsu 
(which it seems Hinako developed herself). Hinako versus the X-men. 
Hina-chan's probably the most dangerous of all of Ranma's adversaries 
past and present...this battle I'm looking forward to. I suspect she'd 
give an army of normal human soldiers a thoroughly hard time. 

	Chapter 6: Two Words: Rescue Mission.  The newest students at 
XSfGY release old enemies and older magics to raid the lair of an ancient 
enigma.

   In other words: the last battle. Looking forward to it.
   Not bad so far. There's room for improvement in this particular beta, 
but then there is in all fan fiction. (I'm assuming, of course, that this 
is not necessarily the final version of X-Change Students Chapter 3.) I'm 
looking forward to Chapter 4.
   Keep up the good work!

Paul Corrigan
pcorrig@uoft02.utoledo.edu