Draxon-X wrote:

Thomas Hamill wrote:

This fic seemed to be full of basic grammatical errors. ("Me and Nene..." 
to name one) Not being to great of speller, I didn't really notice 
anything there, and I think Priss would be a little more observant, 
especially when entering an unfamiliar place. The unlocked door on the 
hotel room should have tipped her off that "something is not right." 
I thought I read a lot of never-ending sentences, much like Larry 
McMurtry's style of writing. 

Alright, as I am completely re-doing everything after Draxon gets K.O'd by 
Linna (I had him in a hardsuit fighting WAY to early) I think I can go back 
and fix my grammar, as for Priss, I was thinking about going back and making 
her a bit smarter, but it would mean chopping up the book even more (a little 
less than half of that book I uploaded to the list still exists) so I might do 
it later on. Never ending sentences suck, I must change them immediately! hehe

I have to agree with Thomas.  The basic grammar errors were very distracting
to me.  And I think Priss is not stupid, else she wouldn't have lived as
long as she has.



Jeanne Hedge

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