Michael White wrote:

At 12:17 AM 7/17/96 -0700, Stephan Bennett wrote:

And now, without further annoyance:

it's place stood a monstrocity, a ship that seemed more animal then

alloy and
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Alternate name for MegaTokyo? ^_-

D'Oh!

about their ankles.  The Regent thought for a moment.  Perhapse before he

                                                            ^^^^^^^^

was a mistake that would be the zentradis' doom if he had any say in the

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*Additional examples... well.. the rest of the story snipped*

"This man has acute misspellitis! 20cc's of dictionarephrine, stat!"
"Mumble... perhapse... immidately..."
"My god! He's going into grammatic arrest! Get the spell checker! CLEAR!" *BZT!*

I know it's a draft, I just can't help myself 8P

8P

Other than that, solid story. Nothing much outside of the GN has happened yet,
but I like the way you told it. I especially liked the shifting cameras like
the replay feature on X-wing after one gets toasted :)

I figured it would be an interesting way of delving into his character a little: showing 
how insignificant his feeling is for those that die under him...

Although, I must admit I half expected the Regent to whip out a CD player and
start playing 'Ride of the Valkyries' :)

Hmmmmm... nope  ::pumukl mumbles to self::

Good work, keep it up!!

I'll try.  I'm going to send a cleaned-up repost of the fic.  I'm not sure if I should 
start on chapter two next or rewrite number one....



Pumukl