This is just a *tad* late.  In an attempt to make up for it, this C+C covers
all 6 parts  :)


Firstly, I guess I must be missing something.  Why is Christine doing this
(hiring herself out to Genom, etc) in the first place?  All I take away
about that is that she's a bored little rich girl...

    "Calm down, Priss," Sylia spoke from the control console.  "Nene, I know
how much you dislike this, but if you don't learn to defend yourself you will
become a danger to us all."
    "Very well."  Nene opened the door to the training chamber.

'Very well' sounds more like Sylia.  I sort of expect to hear heavy,
reluctantly sighed 'ok' out of Nene ;)

    Sylia was distraught as she looked over the X-rays of Nene's arm.  They
had managed to stabilize her, so she at least would live... but this was not
good.
    "Lower arm broken in six places... wrist shattered beyond repair, hand
crushed."  She shook her head and started to cry silently.
    "We knew this would happen eventually," Priss pointed out.  "This is a
dangerous business."
    "But I... I walked us into a trap.  Walked her," she indicated the

sleeping

Nene, "into a trap.  She's so young... and this has to happen to her."
    "It could have been much worse," Linna comforted.  "If that missile

had hit

her body instead of her arm..."
    "Then she would be dead..." Sylia finished, then added, "and it would be
MY fault."
    "NO!" Priss slapped Sylia across the face... hard.  "It is NOT your

fault. 

She knew this job was dangerous when she took it!  Get a hold of yourself!"
    Sylia sighed.  "Maybe... maybe you are right.  Still, it is time we

rethought

 some things."

I've got problems with Sylia's characterization in this scene.  I really
don't think she'd go to pieces publicly like that.  Now, *privately*....

    "How bad is it?"
    Sylia's smile faded.  "I'm sorry... the arm will heal but your wrist

and hand

are beyond repair."

Has Sylia consulted with a specialist about this diagnosis, or is she
winging it with her computers?  She (apparently) has enormous hidden
resources at her disposal -- I can't imagine that medical consultation and
treatment wouldn't be one of them.  And sometimes people come up with leaps
of logic that computers aren't programmed to.

    "About you," came the response, from Priss this time. She had a look in
her eyes that Sylia had never seen before.   What's happened has happened...
but you have to face up to it."

I think you're missing an open quote somewhere in here.

Before it could even turn to face, she had struck again, this time planting the

Before it could turn to face what?

throwing Sylia over its head, but the move put the boomer on the
ground to, 

too

      "No, Nene."  Sylia's hand rested on her shoulder.  "No personal
vengeance; you know the Code."  

Would that be 1-800-COLLECT or 1-800-CALL-ATT  ?    ;)

     "Well, looks like we're going to get blamed for this one.  Genom says it
was an  alternative-energy research facility' this time."

I think you're missing an open quote here too.

    "Shhh!" Priss interrupted her.  "They've found us.  I don't know how..."
her voice trailed off.

How did Genom find them?

    "Damn.  She's not answering her phone!" Priss yelled from the other room.
    "We'll have to go get her, then," Sylia sighed.  "Get ready to suit up

when

Linna arrives."

If they're in such a hurry, why are they waiting for Linna to arrive before
getting into their suits?  Why not suit up while waiting for Linna?  Then,
when Linna gets there, they only need wait on her?

    "There it is," Nene breathed.  "Straight ahead."
    "I'll get the door," Priss answered as the massive building grew rapidly
larger in front of them.  "Get ready for a fight."
    "I've been ready for a long time," Christine said cooly.  "Let's do it."
    Racing ahead of the others, Priss opened the distance, then suddenly
transformed her motoslave to flight mode.  Setting it down on the street, she
raised its hefty cannon and pointed it straight at the Tower's main entrance. 
Three times the muzzle flashed, each shot propelling Priss backwards about two
feet.  The door never had a chance.  The first shot caved it in, and the

two that

followed blew it down.  Screaming past the outside defenses, the four Knight
Sabers enetered the hornet's nest. 
    "Set up a perimeter," Priss ordered, having become the group's leader by
default.  "We've got to watch each other's backs."
    "We're on it," Linna replied, checking the door they had just come
through.  "They haven't followed us in yet... I wonder why?"
    "They don't have any heavy artillery out there," Nene answered.  "They're
sending for it, but by the time it gets there we'll be further inside."
    "Great," Priss commented, looking both ways down the corridor.  "Which
way, Nene?"
    "Your left," she answered calmly.

Umm... where *are* they anyway?  And what are the looking for?



Jeanne Hedge

     jhedge@waterw.com ==================== 75512.1214@compuserve.com
        "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
            of any man I ever met."     - Abraham Lincoln
     ============ http://www.accsyst.com/jhedge/main.htm ============