Well, here's the beta of chapter 3 that I'm currently working on.
Comments and critisism are always welcome and encouraged. Pretty please?!
Thank you, and enjoy.
Fortuna bless and keep you...
Ed Becerra
"Dreamers may die, but the dream is eternal..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As always, my thanks to:
My first fans, Dieter Hirsbrunner (drh@cherry-semi.com), Bree Duffy
(bree.duffy@chemek.com), Calvin T. Ellison (Zwiak@ix.netcom.com),
Louis-Philippe "Phoenix" Giroux (mgiroux@upc.qc.ca) and Kevin Eav
(geist@holly.colostate.edu) who sent me my first fan letters and some
greatly needed words of encouragement. I'm very grateful. Thanks, guys.
Darren Steffler, Chris Schumacher, and Bert Van Vliet. Their works
introduced me to fan fiction. I owe you guys.
And always to the UF gang. MegaZone, Gryphon, ReRob, PCHammer, Chris,
Adam, Larry Mann and 'Doc Mui. Thank you all.
Enjoy the show.
Fortuna bless...
And the Legion continues...
***********************************
"QVAD, MI VEXARI?" - Alfred E. Neuman, Mad Magazine.
* * *
"Please, no more with the photons." mumbled Ed as he tried to roll over
in bed. *Hey.. waitaminute.. bed?* He opened his eyes, wincing at the light,
and saw Dave Wills sitting in a nearby armchair.
"Sleeping Beauty finally awakens, I see." grinned the Lieutenant. "Now,
maybe we can get the whole story."
"Maybe, but not 'til I get something to eat!" He shook his head, trying
to clear the sleep from it. "How long was I out, this time? Hours? Days?" He
paused, a look of horror on his face when Dave remained silent. "Weeks? Not
months?!"
Dave stared back at him for a moment, and then broke into a wide smile.
"About 14 hours."
"AND YOU LET ME THINK... ARRRGGGGHHHH!! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, WILLS!"
Dave fell from the chair, laughing hysterically. "Got 'cha good!"
"DEAD, DO YOU HEAR ME?! DEE EEE AY DEE, DEAD!!"
Minerva's voice interrupted. "Now, be nice, boss. Lt. Wills was the one
who carried you from the living room. For some reason, I couldn't get a
transporter lock on you."
He calmed down slightly. "I think I know why, m'dear. And I'll tell you
two the whole thing, just as soon as I get some chow."
* * *
STEEL BREEZE PRODUCTIONS
and
Industrial Might & Logic
Are Proud to Present
L E G I O N ' S Q U E S T 2 :
Tanks For The Memories
Chapter 3
or
(What, Me Worry?)
* * *
"This keeps happening to me. I don't know why. Landing face down on the
ground, I mean." Ed bustled around the kitchen, fixing a quick meal.
"Could be worse." Dave interjected.
"I'd like to know how!" he asked.
"Well," David mused, "You _could_ wake up without any clothes on. Happens
to me all the time."
Ed rolled his eyes. "And I bet I know why..." He threw a frozen waffle at
the hentai officer, who caught it, and chewed away.
"Did you notice what happened to your face, Ed?"
He froze. "My face...?!"
"Maybe you should go take a look in the mirror..." Dave didn't even have
a chance to finish the sentence. From the direction of the bathroom came a
long, drawn-out "Ooooooh, shiiiiiit!"
As he looked into the mirror, Ed felt strangely calm. *Have enough weird
things happen to you in too short a time, and you go kinda numb, I guess...*
His hair was still the same as before, a deep black that was tinged with a
faint hint of mahogany, but now his golden brown eyes had turned a solid,
metallic gold. They weren't glowing, as they had before, but tiny golden
flecks were floating in the dark spot of his pupil. He looked a second time,
and shuddered.
He wandered back into the kitchen and sat back down. "What in the hell am
I going to do about _this_?! I can't go to work like this! Too many people
will ask questions."
Dave looked thoughtful. "Well..."
Ed glared at him. "Spill it or die, sex maniac!"
"There's this doctor who's covered for me in the past, no questions
asked. She's faked the results of my annual physicals for me. You told me
you used to wear contact lenses before your accident.." He looked at Ed
questioningly.
"Yes.. Oh! Of course! Cosmetic contacts. Why didn't I think of that?"
"You were unconscious, maybe?" Dave offered helpfully.
Ed growled. "Yuk it up, funny man. Remember, I know where you live. How'd
you like to wake up some fine morning with a hundred Nerf balls Crazy-glued
all over your body?"
Dave smirked. "You know, there's this kawaii little gal I know who'd find
that an incredible turn-on..."
Ed sighed. *An infinite number of universes, a trans-finite number of
beings living in them, every possible and _impossible_ varity of existance,
and _who_ do I manage to end up with? A fusion-powered, bio-mechanical,
sexaroid version of Happosai! Somebody out there has a really _nasty_ sense
of humor.*
"So, what's the story, boss?" asked Minerva.
"Oy!" He passed a cup of coffee to David, and sat down with some himself.
As he dug into a plateful of waffles and scrambled eggs, he explained
between bites.
Dave frowned distastefully at the coffee, then picked up a napkin. As he
listened, he folded it, origami-style, into a little version of Minerva.
* * *
"If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning, nothing worse
will happen all day long." - California saying.
"To you or the toad." - Larry Niven's restatement of California saying.
". . . well, most of the time, anyway. . ."
- computer programmer's caveat to Niven's restatement of California
saying.
A half hour later...
Dave stared at Ed strangely. "You say you've got something with the
power of a god mad at you, that you just kicked the shit out of it, and
that's it?"
He nodded, mouth full of waffles.
"And you're not worried?! Are you crazy?!"
He held up two fingers, swallowing first. "Well, first, there really
isn't all that much I can do about it, Dave. Unless you happen to know the
address of Belgarion the Godslayer, or someone else in his general line of
work. And second, while I may not understand just _how_ I managed to do what
I did to Q, I'm confidant I can do it again."
Dave nodded slowly. "Yeah, that would make a difference. If you can hurt
them, then they'll be a lot more cautious next time around. But what _was_
it that you did?"
Ed bit his lip pensively. "Urrrm. Well, I guess you could say I gave him a
taste of home."
"Uhh, maybe a little more detail would be in order?"
He frowned. "Okay, picture this. After what happened to me, I may be _in_
other universes, but I'm not really _part_ of them. In effect, I'm like my
own pocket universe, one whose limits end at my skin. That's part of what
I've become. And I'm the guiding force of my own reality. I'm the one who
gets to define its natural laws. I suppose you could say I'm a microcosmic
god of sorts. But I have only one subject: myself." He looked faintly
embarrassed. "Or at least that's what the researchers back at Utopia
Planetia believed."
Dave played with his coffee as he listened, watching drops of milk make
interesting patterns in the dark liquid. "All right, I can follow that. And
the fight?"
Now Ed grimaced. "I wasn't in a very rational state of mind at that
moment, what with the previous attack at Osbourne Plaza and then Q's
appearance in my appartment. In my rage, I was able to do something that I
remembered from my future." He shrugged. "For a few minutes there, I was
able to _extend_ those limits to take in part of _this_ universe. That
_included_ Q. As long as he was inside my reality, he had to play by the
rules I set. But I wasn't able to extend it very far, or for very long. And
as I found out, doing it took everything I had. It wiped me out completely."
Dave's eyes brightened. For a moment, the hentai was replaced by the keen
detective. "That explains why your abilities seem so inconsistant."
"Huh? I mean, excuse me? You want to run that one by me again? I think I
missed something."
"You told me yourself that you're uncomfortable with your new powers,
that you don't want them, prefer not to use them and wish you were home
again, a normal human."
"Yes. So?"
"Well that's all conscious thought. And maybe some sub-conscious thrown
in. But _unconsciously_ at least, no one really wants to die. Get what I'm
driving at?"
Ed swore. "Damn. Clear as crystal. You're saying that my powers have
become a reflex, like my breathing, or my heartbeat. Something so basic,
it's beyond my control, except in a limited way. Defending me whether I want
it or not."
"BINGO! Since you want to be a normal human, that's what you are, most of
the time. But your powers act to defend you without any conscious effort on
your part. Reflexive."
He looked tired. "So.. I'm stuck with this."
Dave shook his head. "No, I didn't say that.. just that you don't have
the level of control to do anything about it _now_. Later on.. that's a
different matter. It's simply a matter of learning how to handle yourself."
Ed grunted, then looked thoughtful. "You sound just like Doc Mui.
Everyone's been telling me to learn control, and to be patient." He
grimaced, and finshed his coffee. "But those are my weakest spots. Always
have been."
Dave poured his coffee into Ed's mug, and put his cup in the sink. "Hurry
up and finish. I'll take you to that doctor. And we'll see what else we can
do."
"Are you always this annoyingly logical, Dave?"
"Only during times of crisis. I'll revert to drooling sex maniac mode as
soon as things calm down." The hentai sparkle returned to his eyes. "Maybe
that endurance you have extends to .. _other_ matters?"
Ed gave an exasperated snort. "Starting already? I knew it couldn't
last." He piled the dishes in the sink, and grabbed his coat. "Let's get
going. The sooner we get this fixed, the better!"
***********************************
"A friend is someone who helps you move. A BEST friend is someone who
helps you move... a body."
- Anonymous.
"Hellooooooo, Nurse!" - Yakko, Wakko, & Dot Warner.
Ed squirmed uncomfortably in the examination chair as Doctor Duffy held
various filters before his eyes.
"Well, is there anything you can do for me, Doc?"
She paused a moment, and held up another filter. "I think so. It seems
like a number 7 grey lens should do the trick. It will darken your eyes back
to a normal-appearing brown, and hide the specks entirely." She placed the
filter in a frame and moved it back in front of his face. "Yes. Perfect.
Your eyes will look completely natural."
"Thank you, Doctor. What do I owe you?"
"You'll get my bill. If it appears a little .. large, please remember
you're buying a pair of closed lips as well as the medical treatment."
He nodded. "I expected as much. Will gold be acceptable?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Coin or bullion?"
"Either way you want it, Doctor."
"I give a cash discount of 10% for rare coins. They're easier to deal
with. Bullion makes the wrong people curious."
"I have American $20 double eagles, from the 1890's."
The doctor smiled widely. "Perfect. I know several dealers who will
accept them, no questions asked."
Ed grinned. "I thought you might. You must have an .. _interesting_
practice, Doctor."
She chuckled. "You have _NO_ idea how interesting. Particularly with
-him- in town." She jerked a thumb at Wills. "I can't even begin to COUNT
the number of requests I've had to neuter him. At least a quarter of the
women in the city have offered to take up a collection to pay for it!"
Wills shivered at the thought. *Ah! My heart sings with joy at the very
thought of so many kawii girls with such powerful emotions for me. But for
now I will just beam with joy. Oh, musn't forget the tin halo... It's so
nice to be wanted. :)~*
"Oh, I can imagine. I know him better than you might think, Doc."
"And you're still his friend?" She arched an eyebrow. "Either he has
something on you, or you have the temper of a saint."
"Perhaps a little of both, Doctor." He opened the package she handed him
and looked inside. Along with the contact lenses was... "A prescription,
Doc?"
"I thought you might not want to wear the contacts all the time, so I
threw that in. Don't take it, just get it filled, and carry some with you,
along with the prescription. It's a powerful antibiotic used to clear up
drug-resistant eye infections. We don't use it very often because it has two
annoying side effects: it can change a patient's eye color, and make their
eyes extremely light sensitive. It should help you explain things away."
"Ahhh... Nice touch! I can wear sunglasses, and blame it on the drug. And
if someone gets a look at my eyes, I can do the same. Thank you!"
"All part of the service. And if you're ever in need of more medical
care, my door is always open." Doctor Duffy nodded towards Wills. "Just try
to give me a little advance notice if you're going to bring him along. I
want a chance to warn my nurse and receptionist."
*Ack!* thought Dave. *Caught with my hand next to the cookie jar's
skirt!*
Ed laughed at David's crestfallen look. "Will do, Doc. And thanks. I'll
remember that." He poked Dave in the ribs. "C'mon, guy.. there's always the
red-light district."
Dave's face brightened. "Yatta! How could I have forgotten all those
kawaii little gals down there, so wonderful.. so willing.." *Yes! Partners
in crime!* he thought. *We will set the red light district aflame with a
raging inferno of unbridled lust for all kawaii gals!*
"Dave? Hey, Dave."
"What?"
"You're drooling again.."
***********************************
"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
- Will Rogers (1879-1935)
The lenses worked like a charm, and Ed returned to work the following
Monday as if nothing had happened. This was fortunate, as things began to
hit the fan right about then. Buaku had just lifted a painting known as
"Innocent" and took Leona hostage. Now the Tank Police, the Red Commandos,
and the mob were all chasing Buaku and his hostage around the city. The Puma
sisters were running around, trying to keep the police and the Commandos off
of Buaku's trail, Al had taken Bonaparte to search for Leona, and things
were really getting confused.
*I am NOT going to get involved I am NOT going to get involved I am NOT
going to get involved I am NOT going to get involved...* ran through his
mind as he cleaned up his workspace in the tank motor pool. Then he swore.
"Oh, who am I kidding?! The way my luck's been going, they'll probably fall
right into my lap!" He threw a wrench at the floor, then swore again when it
punched a hole through the concrete, spraying cement chips around the empty
room.
"Besides, I can't let 900 million dollars worth of rare painting be
destroyed." He sighed. "It would a crime against art. Just as bad as burning
books, or accepting censorship. Hmmm.. lessee.. the question is, what _can_
I do?"
{That depends, lover. Define your objectives, then you can make your
plans.}
"Ahhh.. hmmm.." He looked annoyed with himself. "I honestly have no
ideas, Minerva. Aside from saving the painting from going up in smoke when
the Puma sisters blast the chopper with the Red Commando leader."
{Well, that's a start, boss. And I already know you want to remain
undercover, so there's a second objective. We can plan around that. Now, we
know the exact time when the painting will be destroyed, and there's a third
point.}
"Huh? I mean, we do?"
{It won't happen until after Anna 'borrows' the heavy artillery tank from
the Tank Police motor pool. So, if you keep watch on it, then we'll know
when things will begin.}
Ed nodded and then brightened. "Baby, do you think you could get a
transporter lock on the Red Commando chopper?"
{It shouldn't be too difficult.}
"Good. Then we have the plan. If things don't differ _too_ much from the
anime, he'll radio in a report that he's recovered 'Innocent' and he's
returning to base. That was his last contact. He didn't make any more calls
after that, and Annapuma blew him out of the air almost immediately
afterward." He grinned. "All righty, then. Search and scan for the chopper,
and maintain a loose lock on it. Also, listen for any radio transmissions
from it. When Annapuma steals the artillery piece, prepare to beam
'Innocent' straight to you."
{That's cutting it close, b'wana. Maybe _too_ close.}
"I know, m'dear. But I don't want to take a chance on screwing up these
folks's continuity. I might make things better, but then again, I might make
them _worse_" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It seems a lot
like time travel. You have to be DAMN careful, or you end up destroying what
you came to preserve." He frowned at the hole he'd just made in the floor,
and sighed. "Crud. I'm worse than Ryoga. Could you fill that in, love? I'm
going to keep an eye on the artillery tank."
{Right, boss. Be careful.}
"What do I have to worry about, m'dear? It's not like Annapuma could hurt
me. Hell, I just had an entire office building fall on me with no harm
done!"
{It's not your body I'm worried about, lover.}
"Huh? What do you mean?"
Minerva sighed. {She's a female. You _do_ have a soft spot for the
ladies, boss. Especially cat girls.}
"Errr.. Ahh.. Now wait just one minute, here.. Are you saying I'm some
sex crazed loon like Dave?"
{No. Just a hopeless romantic. Go play with your tanks, boss. I'll keep
an eye on the chopper.}
* * *
"Drive defensively. Buy a tank." - Anonymous bumper sticker.
As he looked out the window at the sidewalk, Ed spotted Buaku and Lenoa
on their motorbike, crashing into the bar across from Tank Police HQ. He
turned, and ran for the staircase, headed for the motor pool.
{Minerva, they're here. Have you got the chopper spotted?}
{Got it, boss. A nice firm lock. They aren't going to shake me}
He looked down the stairwell. *Shit! I gotta hurry. There's no time. Oh
well..* He gritted his teeth, and jumped down the center of the stairwell. A
few seconds later, he landed at the bottom, punching a hole in the floor
with his feet. *There go _another_ pair of shoes..*
Racing to the motor pool, he grabbed the keys to the new tank gun that
had just arrived and was waiting by it when Annapuma arrived. She aimed her
assault weapon at him.
"No need for that, girl. Here you go. You'll need these." He tossed the
keys to her. Shocked, she fumbled the catch and almost dropped them. "Better
hurry, Buaku needs you."
She gave him an odd look. "Why?"
"My reasons are my own, little girl. And you don't need to know them.
Just get going, and don't ask questions that you don't want to know the
answers to."
She climbed into the cockpit and drove the tank gun out onto the street.
Ed followed behind, staying in the shadows.
{Ready, m'dear? Anna's about to fire!}
{He's made the call, boss.. got the lock.. transporting..}
He watched, and winced as Annapuma's shot blew the Red Commando
helicopter into firey scrap. {Shit! She fired! Did you get the painting?
Tell me you got it, Minerva?!}
{Ahhh... I got "Innocent", boss. It's safe and sound. But..}
{But? But _what_?}
{You don't want to know, b'wana.}
His eyes narrowed suspiciously. {I think you're holding something back,
girl. But it's clean-up time, here. Whatever the problem is, it can wait for
now. We'll handle it after I get off work.}
{Err... Yes. That might be best, boss.}
He flinched at the uneasy tone in her voice. *At just what point did I
lose control here? I can feel another one of _those_ headaches coming on...*
He sighed and shook his head, waiting for the tanks to return with their Red
Commando prisoners. There'd be a LOT of clean-up and repair work after this
night.
* * *
After a very long night of patching up the battle damage, Ed wandered
upstairs to watch the last of the Red Commandos being booked and processed.
The desk sargent gave him a one of those _looks_ when he began to snicker
loudly, then tried to ignore him. He drifted over to the soda machine, and
bought a cola, hoping that a drink would help him stop. About then, Al
passed by.
"What's so funny, Ed?" Al asked.
".. hehehe .. I .. hahaha .. You had to be there, Al.." and he threw his
coat over his shoulder and headed home. *He'd NEVER understand! But it
looked just like the first day of basic training!*
When he got home, he debated finding out what Minerva was so worried
about, but decided against it. "I'm too tired. I'd probably blow up at her,
and end up doing something stupid. I'll find out what happened tomorrow."
He took a hot shower, headed into the bedroom, and tried to forget about
the entire day.
***********************************
"I'm not having a good day, and killing you would improve it
dramatically."
- Demona, "Gargoyles"
The next morning...
"Ooogh.. I _hate_ getting up in the morning." Ed grumped. "It's a damn
miracle I lasted eleven years in the service!" He cleaned up, and finished
off a hot breakfast before he approached Minerva about the previous night.
"So what were you so worried about last night, m'dear?"
"We have a .. `continuity' problem, b'wana."
"What do you mean by that, girl?"
"Well, you mentioned that you were worried about tampering with the known
history of this reality, boss. I'm afraid we have. The explosion of the
helicopter interfered with the transport. I saved `Innocent' but some other
.. err .. 'items' came along for the ride."
He began to look worried. "What _items_?" he asked in a flat tone.
"I think I'd best show you, boss."
A small hologram appeared in the middle of the kitchen table, obscuring
the breakfast dishes. He looked at the figure in the center of it, and went
as white as bleached muslin. "Fuck meee..." he wheezed.
".. long and hard with a chainsaw. I believe those are the words you're
looking for, boss."
"Get Wills on the phone. Now. Secure the line. Military grade encryption
at both ends. If this gets out, there'll be hell to pay.."
* * *
At Wills' office the phone rang. When he answered it, all he could see in
the screen was a hash of static. A barely recognizable voice spoke.
"I need your help again."
"Ed.."
"NO NAMES!" the voice hissed. "I'm in deep trouble. Over my head deep.
And I don't dare let anyone else find out. As soon as you're off duty, I
need you to come to my girlfriend's place. She'll get in touch, and pick you
up. You know how."
"It's that bad?"
"Worse."
Dave winced at the thought of something worse than the little 'incident'
in Ed's living room. "I'll be there."
"Thank you." The line went dead.