On Sat, 6 Jul 1996, Jeanne Hedge wrote:

Bryan K. Ogawa wrote:

[...]

I have to say that reading this was pretty exhausting.  Skyknight's
adventures were pretty dark, although that's been the trend, huh?.  I'm
not going to make line by line specific C&C -- somehow, I think that doing
that would really spam the list, and might take me longer than a day. :)

<Rest of message snipped>

I have my own thoughts on the subject, but out of curiousity is there
anything that stands out as good, bad, confusing, funny,
supposed-to-be-funny-but-isn't, etc?

Well, the major reason I wasn't going to comment real specifically is
because (a) I'm forgetful and (b) I'm lazy.  :)

However, I thought of a few things I noticed:

1.  In this story, I noticed that Bert tends to use colors to describe
people (hair and eye color), and hardsuits.  This is probably a warning of
"this stands out -- perhaps it shouldn't, but it just might be me". 

2.  The thing that interested me the most were the scenes with Leon
puzzling his way through the mysterious boyfriend.  I'm very interested in
seeing this part continue.

Hm.  Is this what you're looking for?  something else?

Jeanne Hedge

     jhedge@waterw.com ==================== 75512.1214@compuserve.com
        "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
            of any man I ever met."     - Abraham Lincoln
     ============ http://www.accsyst.com/jhedge/main.htm ============

--
Bryan K. Ogawa  II Infinitum  <><  On this account I speak for myself.
<bkogawa@netvoyage.net>       SDG  http://www.netvoyage.net/~bkogawa/