Sorry for the bandwidth. This was in today's paper. Seeing as how many
of you ML'ers will soon be looking for jobs out in the Real World, I'd
thought you might appreciate these tips. All these examples are taken
from actual interviews and resumes.
When giving reasons for leaving your previous job, DON'T say the
following:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous
employers."
When responding to interview questions, DON'T be like the people who
talked to these interviewers:
"A grad remarked to me that, coincidently, two separate firms she had
talked to that day had 'ink' in their names."
"A recent graduate was doing well until the end of her interview, when
she said that she'd be ideal for the job since she would need a year of
this kind of training before starting her own company."
When grooming for the interview, DON'T be like these people:
"An extremely nervous recent graduate arrived at the interview wearing a
beautiful new suit - with all the tags still on the left sleeve."
"A young candidate showed up for the interview with his long hair tucked
into the collar of his suit."
When asked about your references, DON'T give an answer like this
candidate:
"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer
does not know I am looking for another job." <Editorial note: Will he
fire himself if he finds out?>
Etiquette is very important. DON'T be like these candidates:
"A candidate's cellular phone rang. She said 'Excuse me,' and promptly
answered the phone during the interview."
"After the interview, I watched her chew her entire fortune cookie,
paper and all. Then she pulled the fortune out of her mouth and read it
to me."
On your resume, DON'T make typos like these candidates did:
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."
"Work experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."
<Editorial note: You might find this on Kun-chan's resume. ^_^ >
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain
operation."
Now, it's good to be funny, but DON'T be vague in your career
objectives:
"My goal is to be a meteorologist, but since I have no training in
meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
Feel free to flame me for posting this here. I just thought these were
funny. :)