TO: Travis Butler, INTERNET:tbutler@tfs.net
FFML, INTERNET:fanfic@fanfic.com
"Mike W. Loader", INTERNET:mloader@scs.unr.edu
Re: [C&C ON C&C] Aftermath, as done by Mike Loader
[The sun is glistening off of the pool as a familiar figure
pads out from the cabana]
Foxtrot: [waving, carrying a glass] Hi, all! And welcome to yet another
C&C on C&C! My assistant will be here shortly so we can get
this show on the road. I just had her get a couple of things
that I needed. [calling offstage] Hey, Vixxy!!!!!
Vixxy: [offstage, grumbling] Yeah, yeah, keep your pants
on!
Foxtrot: [wryly] I usually do. Hurry up! Everyones waiting!
[Vixxy staggers onto the pool deck, carrying a hibachi, a package
of frozen cabbit burgers, two deck chairs, some glasses,
a boombox, sunscreen, a small table, two towels, a water gun, a plastic
ducky and a film projector and screen. She sets up all the equipment
at lightning speed while Foxtrot sips her drink. In record time, the
hibachi is up and smoking, the duck is floating idly
in the pool, the screen is up on the other side of the pool and the deck
chairs are set up in front of them.]
Vixxy: [panting, sarcastically] Anything else, O Great Mistress?
Foxtrot: [looking around] Nah, you did a great job.
Vixxy: [flopping down on the chair] Ok, Im ready.
Foxtrot: [sitting down, putting on the sunscreen] Now, what were
reviewing is the first ever crossover C&C. As I understand it,
this was written by Mike Loader with some help from Travis Butler,
and the fic being reviewed is Matt Trotters Aftermath, not to be
confused with Erin Mills, 2.5s Aftermath.
Roll the review!
[The lights dim (dont ask me how, they just do) and the review rolls
up on the screen]
(The lights come on in the theatre, revealing the forms of a familiar
looking elf and halfling.)
Vixxy: Elf?? Halfling??? [glares at Travis] You never told me
Frito was an elf?!?!?!
Foxtrot: I have to admit, this is a surprise to me. Perhaps if you could
explain this, Travis, Mike?
Frito: Hey! Where's Lyra?
Windir: (glaring) She couldn't make it, something about an anonymous
phone call........
[Vixxy hums the Twilight Zone theme]
Foxtrot: Very ominous. Considering what happened, I think
that the Rats were behind the phone call, since they knew that
they couldnt handle her *and* Frito and Windir all at once.
(A confused struggle breaks out. "Get 'is leg, dammit!"..."OW! Windy, that
was me, ya schmuck!"..."Oi got his arm! Get the sodding rope!"..."Unhand
me, you ruffians!"...."damnit, who's got Frito?"...."Me."....Right!
Someone's ta be hittin' the lights!". After a few seconds of muffled
swearing, the light go back on, revealing Mike, Seamus, Giles, and Mahon
standing over two bound and gagged fanfic critics. Frito sputters,
cringes, and squirms in quick succession, while Windir maintains his
ice-cool expression of stony, controlled dignity.)
Foxtrot: [smiling] Kidnapped and ambushed again, guys. Dont you
think you could have gotten some security detail after what happened
last time?
Giles: Should we ungag them? Oi think the dwarf might be rabid.
[Vixxy giggles]
Seamus: The little bugger sure sounds rabid....
Mahon: Yup.
Mike: Ungag the elf.
(They do so.)
Foxtrot: What? No tones of outraged ranting? Im surprised, Frito,
that you didnt at least try to insult them or say anything derogatory
towards their ancestry and pets....
Vixxy: But they could have been referring to Windir when they said elf.
Remember, weve never seen them before in all of Travis C&Cs.
Foxtrot: Good point. Ill let them clear this up.
[Vixxy makes her notes]
(He whistles, and a shape bounds into the theatre.)
Foxtrot: I dont think that shes *that* obediant. Its not like
shes a dog or anything.
Azusa: OH! KAWAII!!!!
Vixxy: Isnt her name spelled wrong?
Foxtrot: Sure is. Azusa is the name of a manufacturing
town in Californa and the name means, Everything from A
to Z in the USA. The name you want is Asuza.
Azusa: You so Kawwwwaaaaaiiiiiii! You come meet Azusa's little Bonaparte,
and Sant' Honore, and Voltare, and Robespiere, and....
Foxtrot: I didnt know she was a French Literature fan.
She just uses kawaii names, and its a coincidence that some
of them are French. Besides, you spelled Voltaire
and Robespierre wrong.
Vixxy: What I didnt know is that shes a Shampoo clone! Why should
she speak in a pidgen dialect if she was born Japanese?
(She picks up Windir...er, Tartuffe......and runs for the exit after
Frito.)
Foxtrot: And considering exactly *who* Tartuffe was, I think
that Frito should be Tartuffe and Frito can be Moliere.
Vixxy: Who was Tartuffe?
Foxtrot: A character in a Moliere play. A lecher and a hypocrite,
a swinder and an all around bad guy.
Vixxy: [mulls it over a bit] Yup, thats Frito!
Mike: Well, yeah. And it really has been a while since he's released a
Ranma fic. Now, while some people would say that there needs to be
a form of population control for Ranma fanfics......
Vixxy: Fanfic Condoms! ONLY $19.99 for two! and if you order now well
send you, FREE! this Fanfic Castrating Set, for those fics you dont
want reproducing at all!
:>Mike: Well, to tell the truth, I really wasn't all that fond of King of
Pain. Old Friend, on the other hand....I just couldn't stop laughing.
Some parts of that fanfic are true classics, masterpieces of the art.
Foxtrot: How could you not like it? By using his characters
Matt managed to get Ryouga to realize that Ranma was his friend,
not his enemy. Any fic that can do that, and make Kuno rational
gets four stars in my book.
(The four settle into their chairs. Mike takes out a thermos and
pours himself a cup of tea, while the others produce whiskey bottles
and begin to gulp down their contents.)
Vixxy: I got another question. If Windir and Frito were taken away
then who was running the projection? Usually, its Travis!
But he wouldn't be a part of this, would he?
Foxtrot: Thats a good question, and seeing that Mike was down
in the theatre...
[They look at each other and shiver.]
Vixxy: Very, very ominous.
Trudge. Damn. Tatewaki trudged to his bed and began to undress, his
whole body felt like it had been filled with lead weights. He caught
sight of himself in the mirror. He looked like hell. Trudging over to
the mirror, he stood looking at himself. Strangely, tonight he didn't
see the proud, powerful blue thunder of Furinken high, or even
upperclassman
Kuno. Tonight he saw a boy of 17 who looked like he'd been out too late
and should get to bed.
Mike: Nice bit of characterization here.
Vixxy: Nice bit of characterization? Is that all you can say about
it? Im really beginning to miss Windirs explanations
about what he likes about the story.
Foxtrot: Theyre new at this, give them time.
Seamus: Yah! Who was it 'hat drove a bulldozer through the Barringen
Wurst Fair, an spent the next three weeks hidin' from the coppers?
Giles: That was you.
Seamus: Oh yah, right. But you helped...
Foxtrot: Nice bit about the Rats and their personalities.
Too bad theyre all blending together. Thats the wonder
of having Windir and Frito, theyre so polarized, it lets
the author have the benefit of two completely different
points of view. Same thing for Baliesu and Ami when
they do their reviews.
Vixxy: But they havent done one in a while.
Foxtrot: [slyly] I can change that.
with ash blond hair. He had a manor about him ... the way he moved,
and talked . . . he was something more . . .
Seamus: Wow, a whole bleedin' Manor? The guy's strong.
Foxtrot: See, I knew theyd get the hang of it!
Tatewaki tucked the box under his arm as he walked. He had gone over
the idea in his mind hundreds of times. This was the only thing that
might be acceptable. Almost anything else she would reject flat out, but
this . . . this might catch her attention. Nabiki could be
unpredictable. He would have to be careful. He went over the speech in
his head again, [Nabiki Tendo, I would speak with you after school.
Please meet me at the Acme Delicatessen on Generic street and Brand
Avenue.]
Foxtrot: More on the Deli later. Even I didnt catch it the first time around.
Today "The Blue Thunder" felt even less boisterous and confident than
he ever had before. He felt like a boy with a stick and a box of
chocolates.
Mike: Nicely put.
Seamus: Yah, an it's nice ta see the arrogant bastard a bit unsure 'o
hisself.
Vixxy: But hes not always an arrogant bastard. You see, in Rain Dance...
Foxtrot: Vixxy, the Rats havent read that yet.
Vixxy: Well, they should! Any reviewer worth his salt reads the
prequels to a story hes reviewing. That way, they dont get lost
when there are allusions to the previous stories.
Foxtrot: Good point. Write that down.
[Vixxy complies]
"Owwwwww . . . what . . . Akane? Hey What didja do that for?"
"Ranma you pervert! You . . ."
"Miss Tendo! Mr. Saitoom! Go stand in the hall."
Akane felt the blush return, "Yes, Miss Hinako."
"And be QUIET!"
"Saitoom?"
Seamus: (chuckling) Hey, I really liked 'hat bit.
Giles: Oi can just see it...poor Saitoom...
Mike: It was pretty good....but there's one problem. Nabiki and Kuno
are in a different class than Ranma and Akane. They are
upperclassmen, after all....
Foxtrot: I liked that bit, too. And its a good thing that someone
caught that blunder.
"Your the one who was MOANING my name in his sleep, you pervert."
"I was not!"
"Yes you were! And everyone was watching us, it was embracing."
Giles: Embracing? Oi think Oi see a freudian slip...
Foxtrot: Im glad they got that one, too, but they missed the Youre
in Akanes previous line. Actually, in all the Trotter fics Ive seen,
he hasnt yet gotten close to reining in that problem.
Vixxy: What problem?
Foxtrot: Youre versus your.
Vixxy: Oh. [sniffing the air] Aahhhh! The hamburgers!!
[She races over to the hibachi]
Mike: Boot to the _head_, Seamus. It's Boot to the _head_.
Seamus: They can do it their way, an I'll be doin' it my way.
[Vixxy and Foxtrot giggle]
Foxtrot: What nationality are the Rats anyway? I take it that Seamus
is Irish and Giles is a Brit, but what about Mahon? Or are they all
Irish?
Tofu took a sip of his tea, "Well, what made you want to be an evil
sorcerer any way?"
Morphine appeared to consider the question,"I don't know. It started
off as something to do . . . later I guess it was just a kick."
Tofu almost fell out of his chair, "A kick?!?!"
"I was bored a lot as a kid.
Giles: "It started out simply.......just a imp or two a day, sometimes
more if we had company.....then it went up to a demon even day....then
Great Cthulhu every hour...Oi told myself Oi could stop anytime Oi
wanted to, that Oi didn't have a Summonning Problen..."
Vixxy: [howling with laughter] Nice one, Giles!
[Both of them give a golf clap]
He remembered telling Morphine to call an ambulance. Morphine had
reached out and snapped the boys arm strait out.
Foxtrot: ...the boys arm straight out.
...Kasumi stood there,
beaming ... wearing a pair of elegant glass slippers. And nothing else.
There was, however, a conspicuous black bar that covered her from
neck to knee....
Seamus: Awwww....bloody censors.....
Giles: Wot did you expect? Anything with Kasumi in it automatically
gets a G-rating.
(Mahon passes Giles a folder labels "FFML Lemon Archive - Property
of Kunoichi" Giles leafs through it for a second, and turns red.)
Giles: Oh my!
Mahon: Exactly.
Giles: Aw, but these ain't in character. They don't count.
Vixxy: [flipping over the cabbit burgers] Actually theyre very much in
continuity. Especially the ones from Too Much Wedded Bliss.
Foxtrot: [incensed] What were you doing reading those? I thought
I locked them away!
Vixxy: [blushing] Erm, well........
Foxtrot: I see, were gonna have a nice long talk after the reviews over,
young lady.
herself, he would just use her. She took another breath. Ok, have a
chocolate and get back to the math.Nabiki pulled out the first layer of
the box, crunchy frog, her favorite in any assortment, was always on the
second layer.
Mike: Nice homage to Python there.
Foxtrot: Right about this point, (considering
that its the climax of the story) Windir would have something to say
about the way Kuno chose to express his regret and then Frito
would attempt to grab the cash and then wed all be happy.
That is, if some fool Rats didnt ambush them....
Vixxy: I take it youre a fan of Windir and Frito...?
Foxtrot: I just like the way they review. They dont miss anything.
Unlike these guys....
Vixxy: Whatever happened to give them time, theyre new?
[Foxtrot shoots Vixxy with the water gun.]
Foxtrot: Im still being fair, but Im being thorough, too.
He looked up as the door opened. The first person to come into the
Acme Cafe since the rain started stood there, in the doorway, dripping.
She was completely soaked. Her shirt was plastered to her torso, and hair
had that pathetic ragamuffin look.
Foxtrot: [sputtering] They didnt even catch the Tiny Toons reference!
They catch the Pratchett and Python stuff but when it comes to
good old American comedy they dont get it! Damn UK!
Vixxy: Calm down, Fox, youre beginning to scare me.
Mike: So do I. I was refering to Trotter's apparant case of
Hemingway Syndrome. He seems at times to have trouble with
sentance flow; makings thing sound, well, blocky. It's much less
pronounced now than it was in Rain Dance, and I've been unable to
spot it at all in some of the "Old Man" fics.
Vixxy: I went to a bullfight. We ordered drinks. Dos cervesas?
Fine. We stared at the bulls. They stared back.
Foxtrot: Personally, its hard to think of proper prose when youve got a
fic on the brain.
Vixxy: That sounds painful.
Foxtrot: [shooting Vixxy with the gun again] I know
what Mike's referring to because Im having that
problem with my own fic. It's hard to think in prose
when you have the scenes playing themselves out in your
mind.
Mike: Very touching piece of work there. Reminds me a bit of Foxx's
"When the Dream Dies", a Kuno-oriented sadfic.
Seamus: Hey, I read 'hat one! That bastard kills Akane inna car
accident! I hate 'hat fic!
Mike: Yeah, so do I. But I hated it for the funk it put me in, not the
writing quality. In one of the earlier fics, Trotter does a parody of
"When the...", so we can probably assume that it influenced this
scene.
Vixxy: Read the notes at the end of the fic. Matt states specifically
that When the Dream Dies was the basis for his Kuno and Kodachi
characterization.
"Fear not, I simply wish you to give a message to that fool Saotome."
"FOOL! I don't..."
"Tell him that I will personally kill him if he continues to treat
Akane like garbage."
"Huh?"
"Tell him that The Blue Thunder of Furinken High has spoken and he
has my permission to date Akane Tendo."
"Like I need..."
Kuno leaned so close that his lips were bare inches from hers...she
could feel his breath as he spoke in a near inaudible whisper...
"tell him that if i find him with any other women i will make him a judge
in a cook off between akane and my sister..."
Mahon: (pale) Damn.
Seamus: Now _that's_ a threat.
Foxtrot: I was impressed. But Kuno would never insult Akanes
cooking.
Vixxy: I agree. [she looks up from the grill] Well done?
Foxtrot: Yes.
Vixxy: Dos cervesas?
Foxtrot: Nice try, but youre too young. One root beer float for you,
and a virgin margarita for myself.
Mike: I find the pararells between this series and "Thy Inward Love"
to be rather facinating, especially since I don't think that Lawson
has read Aftermath.
Foxtrot: What??? [looks through her notes, then through
Vixxys] I dont have that one? Pandaaaa!!!!
Seamus: Ya mean the whole Nabiki an Kuno thing?
Mike: Sort of. For instance, it seems that in the above paragraph
Kuno is aware of Ranma's true identity, even if he never actually
comes out and says it. Much the same thing happened in TIL, although
Kuno actually came out and made the connection in that one. In any
case, the two series have much in common on the Kuno/Nabiki front,
including a softening of Nabiki's character, a reformed Kuno finally
confronting his demons, the parental connection, Kuno finally letting
go of Akane and Ranma-chan......the list goes on and on.
Foxtrot: I dont agree here. I think that Kuno is still near oblivious
to Ranmas dual identity. But if he continues to be rational, he
might catch on in the future.
Seamus: 'Course, except fer that the two fics have damn near nothin'
in common.
[Vixxy facefaults]
Vixxy: But he just explained the similarities...!
Foxtrot: You see what I mean? It seems as if Mike is
taking the "Windir" approach to Fanfic Reviewing
while the Rats are comic relief. This could work out
great, except there already is a precedent set, that being
the duo of Windir and Frito.
Vixxy: [shaking her head] You mind repeating that, Fox?
Foxtrot: [patting Vixxy on the head] That's okay, it's too far above
you.
able to douse them with their respective potions. Then while that nasty
Akane was running away from Ranma she would be free to make him her own!
Oh, she could just imagine his expression...
"Oh Kodachi, I...I never realized how perfect you are...your hair,
your eyes, your leotard, and matching shoes..."
"Ranma, my darling you are so bold."
"Kodachi, you are so sexy. Lets get married and then have great sex
for hours on end..."
(Mike, Giles and Mahon double over in hysterical laughter. Seamus
wipes at his eyes with a hankerchief.)
Seamus: (sniffling) Aww, that's so romantic....puts a lump in me
throat, it does...
Vixxy: [wryly] Are you sure thats just your throat?
Foxtrot: Again, I'm surprised that the Rats didn't have *more*
to say about the ending, what with Kodachi in
the buff and all.
Mike: There is indeed a preponderance of Ranma literature....
Giles: Nice Windir impression.
Mike: Gah! Sorry. There's a whole sh-tload of Ranma fics....
[Foxtrot and Vixxy giggle]
Mahon: Better.
Mike: ...thank you, for a number of reasons. First of all, it's a fun
series to write for, with interesting and dynamic characters that
you can twist in any way you want. Second, nearly everyone's seen
Ranma, and thus you have a large audience, which means more C&C.
Finally, you mostly avoid the "series hate" syndrome. For example, I
wouldn't read a Sailor Moon fic if my best friend wrote it. Nor do I
give C&C for them, because (A) I'd have to read them to do that, and
(B) I don't like to flame.
Foxtrot: I'm very surprised that you have this feeling, Mike.
I can think of many Sailor Moon 'fics that I've seen
(most of them written by Chris Davies) that would
give the best ones Ranma 'fics a run for their money.
Some examples that come to mind are "The Healing
of Senshi Urre" by John Biles, and Chris Davies'
"None of Your Business".
(The Rats turn. Windir stands in the doorway, his face a mask of cold
rage. Behind him is a rather shell-shocked looking Frito, babbling
something about ribbons and kitties and lace.)
Vixxy: Go get em, tiger!
Foxtrot: Wrong person. Try again.
Vixxy: Okay, Have at the scoundrels! Better?
Foxtrot: Better.
Nabiki: All right. <Nods in return, then looks over at the Rats.> Now,
gentleman, you've been sold to Mr. Larson for a while. Something about
inspiration during the hiatus. Now, come along quietly, and no one gets
hurt.
Foxtrot: Hiatus? He quit! Just up and quit! No more Far Side, ever!!!
Vixxy: [seasoning the cabbit burgers] I take it youre bitter about that, too.
-------------------------------------
Today's picture, "Aftermath", by Matt Trotter.
Review by Mike Loader
Ranma 1/2 and attendant characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
Windir and Frito appear courtesy of Travis Butler
The Institut Rats are copyright 1993 by Mike Loader and Mad Wombat Ent.
Fnord.
Vixxy: This review was brought to you by the letters, Q, Z and the
number 1,523,858,232,800.5
Foxtrot: Well, what do you think?
Vixxy: I think I may have cooked the burgers for too long.
Foxtrot: Besides that.
Vixxy: For first time reviewers, they did a great job. Not up to my
standards, but still good.
Foxtrot: I agree. If they want to make it in this biz, theyre gonna have to be
more specific as to what they liked and why they liked it. Thats
the beauty of the Frito/Windir or Baliesu/Ami reviews. Theyre very
thorough while being funny. Also, I suggest a little more characterization
of the Rats. I didnt catch the Instuit Rats story the first time around
and that was because I was swamped with schoolwork. Even so, there
seems to be no differentiation between Seamus, Giles or Mahon.
Vixxy: Theres little differentiation between us, Fox.
Foxtrot: Theres a reason for that, and I dont want to disclose that,
yet.
Vixxy: Whatever you say. [putting two plates
and two glasses on the table] Shall we?
Foxtrot: We shall.
[Curtain]
Foxtrot the Furryous, BTFH on vacation, and her
faithful companion, Vixxy (no relation, we swear it!)