At 03:18 AM 7/1/96 -0700, Don Wang wrote:
Please take the time to read this. It won't take too long. Of course,
detailed
C & C would be greatly appreciated, but a simple "I (don't) like it" would
do. This is
a real rough version and is likely to go through many changes before the
final version.
Thanks in advance!
The sequel of "Tonight's April Fools", currently untitled
So what do you think of it? Should I leave the ending at this? Add more
to it?
Give Ranma another chance? I usually don't like sadfics, but I decide to
give it a
shot anyway. I still don't know if I want this to end with a happy ending
or not.
Please, I need your input to help me decide! Here's some questions I need
help on, by
the way. I don't really know about the part where Akane hurt herself is
valid. What
would be some thing Akane can do to herself that hurts herself without
leaving permanent
That would be just like Akane. She is stubborn enough to fight pain with pain.
But as for the bodily harm, she is just taking it out on herself for falling
for Ranma.
She's punished Ranma enough times and still he keeps tormenting her with the
same phrases.
Kawaiikune, tomboy... etc.. and the lies. What she was waiting for the
longest time was
his three words (I Love you) but that got twisted in one of his sick games.
Ranma deserves
this torture of seeing Akane hurt.. but not Akane. (You kinda see who I
personally love in
the Ranmaverse)
harm? I was thinking of Akane stabbing herself with a knife, but that
would be kind of
scary.
That would be just too much.. and you'll lose a lot of your readers for that
one...
I forgave you on the pins...
Any idea for something Akane can do that will hurt herself a lot
without
permanent damage? I don't really like the needle idea, just had to put
something
there to fill in the parts.
The needle part works because it shows that she is not as stubborn as
everyone thinks.
Akane just want't to forget. I would be worse for her if she were to take
drugs...
Or kill herself. Remember she cares about her family too much to give them
grief.
(You could put in a sequence "dream" persay when she finally has a chance to
sleep...
of her mother helping her out in someway.)
Do you think I wrote my characters too out of their normal
self? I know Akane is going through a lot of mood shifts in this story so
I'm not
completely sure. Ranma was easy, but Akane wasn't. She seems a little bit
too
cold at the beginning, and too emotional at the end, and then too cold
again. Please
help!
Like you said Ranma was easy. But I think that your doing fine with Akane.
She is run
with emotions. And for the fact that it took her so long to recognise her
feelings,
and have it tossed to the winds. That hurts more so that anything in the
world (I should
know) But the one thing that helped me though it all was family. Having
Ranma's support
is great because its there. In the last passage, Ranma IS starting to show
his soft side
by saying that it hurts him too much to see her this way. I'd like for you
to continue
his slow release. It ended in a way so that Ranma would feel obligated to
protect her.
Especially since she needs protecting from herself. The threat of suicide
has enough merit
that she will need the protection and support. This would be great time to
have Ranma
open up.. with no tricks... "no regrets". Just to bring out the soft side
of Ranma I believe
will be enough to pull Akane back... It will have its lasting effects.
I was pretty shocked to read that Akane initated the kiss... I was
expecting Ranma to do that.
But it worked out pretty good... Especially with her last statment.
CONTINUE!!! PLEASE FOR THE SANITY OF AKANE!!!!!
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"hitotsu no ai ni inochi sae nage-dasu toki ga hoshii no" --"JENIINA"
(I want a chance to sacrifice even my life for one love)
-- Kimagure Orange Road
Bay Area Animation Society Intergrated Computer Concepts
BAAS Executive Staff #5019 IBM Compatible Computer Repair
Video Archivist / Computer 'Zine Editor CO-CEO / Computer Engineer
Nessie Rilveria rigger@hooked.net
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