My pick ;)

HTG
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kyle Pope <KylePope@cris.com>
Newgroups: rec.arts.anime.misc

Just seeing how many of these things I can churn out...


Hakubi Washuu ("Tenchi Muyou!")

LOOKS:  She wears her 20,000-sai age well resembling as she does a 12-sai
girl. Make no mistake though that she has an adult form that answers a lot
of questions about where Ryouko got her good looks.  Her most striking
feature is a magnificent crown of brilliant red hair that bears a passing
resemblance to a crab. 

SMARTS:  Where do I begin?  She is the self admitted "number one genius
scientist in the galaxy" and I don't think there is anyone who could
dispute that claim.  A prodigy from the start she's had 200 centuries to
add to and refine her education to where she can be considered an expert
on any aspect of science and applied technology.  The lab where she
tinkers about required five planets sub-dimensionally linked to contain it
all. 

PERSONALITY:  To all outward appearances, deranged.  She enjoys playing
the mad scientist to the hilt.  However at the most unexpected moments she
can display a level of tenderness and vulnerablity that will put you on
the floor.  She can also be unbelieveably cruel to Ryouko from time to
time.  The level of her intellect makes it very difficult to pin down just
what her basic personality is but I expect that there is no malice to her
and much she does is out of scientific curiosity and a god-like distance
from the lesser beings around her, with the possible exception of Masaki
Tenchi who's hidden potential has even Washuu stumped. 

HOME ECONOMICS:  Incredible.  For all it contains Washuu's lab is
beautifully maintained and even homey.  I can understand why she spends
most of her time there.  I also expect that this has little to do with her
pushing a broom around.  Washuu's knowledge and skills have no doubt given
her the means to automate the whole housekeeping process.  You probably
won't even have to make your bed or pick up after yourself.  Which is good
as Washuu will probably set up her home within that lab and its sheer
expanse would make conventional housekeeping methods useless.  As for
cooking Washuu has some difficulty coping with unfamiliar technology
(stoves and hibachis) but once familiar she is clearly an accomplished
cook and will even use her own hands in the kitchen. 

COMBAT SKILLS:  Deadly.  You'd never know what hit you even if she
explained it. Not a brawler in any sense, Washuu would never use direct
physical force against an opponent.  She doesn't have the size.  But this
is more than compensated for by the forces she commands over time-space
itself.  Washuu's mind is a weapon with which very few entities could
cope. 

SPECIAL ABILITIES:  Stand back!  Like her notorious offspring Washuu can
project energy blasts as well as form an energy sword.  Can call up an
ethereal laptop which is no doubt linked to her mainframe and can use it
to analyze any problem she's confronted with.  Can access sub-dimensional
space at will and uses it as a storage area and route of travel.  She's
mentally linked with her "daughter", Ryouko.  She can maintain a body of a
fixed age or revert to full maturity at will.  Her knowledge of genetic
engineering allows her to create custom order lifeforms and it is
suggested that she has a role in the destiny of the universe approaching
that of divinity. 

COMPETITION:  Masaki Tenchi.  Tokimi.  While she views him principally as
a guinea pig for her experiments there is some sexual if not romantic
tension between them.  On two occasions Washuu has propositioned Tenchi. 
If you can convince her that you'd be a more interesting subject for her
explorations you might turn her eye but it will be difficult competing
with someone who can generate ten kouyouku.  However I suspect that Washuu
realizes that she has little chance of winning the Tenchi sweepstakes and
thus keeps her advances on the playful level.  If offered the chance at a
real relationship of her own with someone up to her standards she'd jump
at it.  Tokimi's interest in Washuu is not romantic but something a lot
more powerful even if it still remains unexplained.  Getting Tenchi out of
the way will be a breeze compared to Tokimi who is for all practical
purposes a goddess.  Fortunately Washuu seems quite capable of holding
Tokimi off and wouldn't let her interfere with her marriage to you.  In
the end, despite all the people surrounding her, Washuu is terribly
lonely.  There isn't anyone in the Masaki household that she can really
relate to so she spends much of her time cloistered in her lab hiding in
that 12-sai body.  If you're the one who can lure her out of her shell you
will be greeted by a very warm and loving woman. 

IN-LAWS:  None known as far as parents are concerned.  They may be still
alive given Washuu's longevity but they seem to play no role in her
current life.  She has an ex-husband and child who are members of a "very
important" family, but nothing beyond that is known. 

FINANCES:  Why would this woman have anything to do with money?  With at
least five planets of her own and the technology to fabricate anything she
desires including living beings Washuu is financially set for a very long
life.  Washuu has left such concepts as "economics" behind a long time
ago.  If you become her husband you will spend the rest of your life in
school acquiring the knowledge to hold a conversation with her.  Working
for a living will be a dead concept. 

SEX:  Kinky.  If she comes after you in the nurse costume with the rubber
gloves, run.  Not that you'd get far with the capture devices she
commands. This lady probably knows sexual techniques that would require
your genetic alteration.  You need never worry about your sex life
becoming boring or routine.  I seriously doubt that you will ever have sex
with Washuu the same way twice. 

OVERALL:  This is a catch worth everything you have to land.  If you can
convince her to come out of that lab and out of that body (unless you like
the smaller one) this lady has more to offer than anyone else I can think
of. Power, knowledge of secrets of the universe terrestrial scientists
would saw off limbs for, comfortable expansive quarters no terrestrial
billionaire can match and the entire galaxy as your playground.  This is a
combination that no other woman in the Masaki household can match. 

--
Kyle

"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered." - No. 6