Narrator:	With the Fold Crystal shaterred into several parts and
		scattered amongst the Solar System, the SDF-1 finds itself
		unable to return to Earth.  Worse yet, Queen Breetai and
		her MegaVerse MegaForce are also trying to get the Crystal
		before the crew of the SDF-1.  With their most powerful
		energy-source gone (and a fair chunk of their ship as
		well), the valiant crew of the SDF-1 will need to turn to
		new defences if they hope to defeat the MegaVerse.  They
		need - The Sailor Scoots.  er, Scouts.

Title:		PRETTY MECHA SAILOR SWOON - R (obotech)

		Episode two:  "Entrance!  Sailor Swoon!"

[Scene:  Inside the SDF-1.  For no apparent reason, except that it sounded
 good at the show's inception, a city has been built inside the bowels of
 the ship (nice image, isn't it?).  Curriously enough, it resembles Tokyo.
 A girl in a Japanese school uniform is running through a park.]

Dimmei:		Oh, heck... I'm late.  I'm, like, SO late.

Ben:		Hiya, Dimmei.  Want to hear a list of all the components in
		a plasma-intermix chamber?

Dimmei:		<SCREAM>  Dammit, Ben!  Don't sneak up on people like that!

Ben:		Why are you running, Dimmei?

Dimmei:		Because I'm late for school.  And why aren't *you* running?

Ben:		It's Saturday - no school

Dimmei:		<facefault>  Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?

[Scene:  Dimmei walking back towards home.  She bumps into what looks
 like a wino.]

Dimmei:		Ew, like, get a shower.

Dr. Luna:	Could it be?  Is it she?

Lumiere:	Sacrebleu!  Invaders!

Dr. Luna:	Wrong show.

Lumiere:	So sorry, Monsieur.  I thought I'd heard my cue.

Dr. Luna:	Perfectly alright.  Now, where was I?

Dimmei:		"Is it she?"

Dr. Luna:	Thank you.  Could she be the answer to our problems?

[Scene:  SDF-1 bridge.  Red lights are flashing everywhere.  Outside,
 ostriches with large guns can be seen flying around the ship, destroying
 its fighters.  Needless to say, the crew is dealing with it admirably.]

Bridge Usagis:	WAAAaahhhh!!!  We're gonna die!!!

Cloddia:	Someone *please* turn that infernal racket off?

[sound effect:  Heavy frying pan (1d6) gonging three times.]

Cloddia:	Thank you.

Lisa:		But what do we do about those ostriches?  We don't have a
		breeding licence.

Dr. Luna (VO):	Girls, I have a solution.

Lisa:		Yes, Dr Luna?

Dr. Luna (VO):	I have found someone who can help us.  She'll be on your
		screen any moment now.

[Scene:  Outside the SDF-1.  A lone fighter-craft - called, for some
 obscure reason, the Chibbi-Macross - piloted by Dimmei appears on our
 screen.]

Dimmei:		WAAAAaaahhhh!!!  I don't wanna do this.  I wanna go
		hoooooo-ome!

Dr. Luna (VO):	Quiet, Dimmei.  Now say the words.

Dimmei:		MECHA!  PRISM!  POWER!

[Scene:  Dimmei's plane is suddenly surrounded by glowing lights.  The
 armor of the craft flys apart, but that's OK - since this is a kiddies
 show, we don't see anything 'naughty' (damn!).  The shape of the craft
 changes and, as the light subdues, we see it is now a female Mecha wearing
 what appears to be an figure ice-skating outfit.]

Dimmei:		Oooo....  Kawai!!!

[Scene:  SDF-1 Main bridge.  Lisa and Cloddia are looking dumbfounded.  The
 Bridge Usagis are still out.  next to the outside window, a cockroach
 dressed in drags looks at the scene outside.]

Milquetoast:	This is *so* unnatural.

Lisa:		Dr. Luna, what is going on?

Dr. Luna:	If we cannot use the Crystal to power our ship, we'll have
		to find another power source.  Therefore, I have found a
		*really* cute girl and put her in a *really* cute robot.
		In pure Anime fashion, this should raise the hopes of the
		inhabitants of Macross City.  We will collect all that
		Goodness energy we can run our ship on Goodness Power.

Minky Momo:	Hey, that's my Shtick.

Lisa:		You're right, Doctor.  Our energy levels are rising.  We
		are able to fight again.

Cloddia:	Quick, Lisa - before the audience catches up with the
		bullshit.

Lisa:		MACROSS!  TRANSFORMATION!  SEQUENCE!

[Scene:  Outside the SDF-1.  The ship itself starts to glow in much the
 same way as Dimmei's plane did and follows pretty much the same
 transformation sequence.  When the light dies down, the Macross is a
 humanoid-looking bulk wearing a figure ice-skating outfit.]

[Scene:  Inside Queen Breetai's ship.  Queen Breetai and Execite are
 watching with interest.]

Queen Breetai:	The fools.  They have no knowledge of space-war outfits.
		They have transformed into a skimpy skirt but have
		forgotten their underwear.

[Scene:  SDF-1 Main Bridge.]

Cloddia:	Oh My God, he's... she's... it's right.  We forgot the
		underwear.

Bridge Usagis:	Eeek!

[Scene:  Outside the SDF-1.  Macross and Chibbi-Macross are pulling at
 their mini-skirts in a futile attempt to cover up.]

Narrator:	Are our heroes finished?  Will Queen Breetai's dastardly
		plan to make them die of shame work?  Will nothing save our
		intrepid crew?  Find out ni our next exciting episode:
		"Savior!  Tuxedo Max!"


Neoculture===============Crash-Test Wraith On The Information SuperHighway
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose          | John Cleese
   (It pokes its head out ev'ry time he blows) |   _The Ferret Song_
How it got there I can't tell,                 | from "I'm Sorry, I'll
But now it's there it hurts like hell          |       Read That Again."
===============================================Aubry.Thonon@qed.qld.gov.au