As you can see from the title of this part, I scrapped the idea of
doing Kodachi's appearance now.  I really tried to do it, but all
I could think about was all the fun I could be having, writing the
shampoo parts.  So I gave up.

Anyway, If you have half the fun, reading this, as I had writing
it, you'll be pretty entertained. :)

  --------------------------------------------------------------

                         RANKO 1/2

                          Part 17

                      "Akane, Korosu!"



<RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE BANG!>

The door of the Fuurinkan High cafeteria slams open, and pupils
pour in, eager to get seats.  Akane and Ranko sit down at a table,
and Ranko immediately begins to dig into her lunch.  Akane shakes
her head at this and slowly unpacks her own lunch.

<THOOOOM!>

Everybody's heads turn, as a muted explosion resounds through the
building.

<THOOOOM!>

Boy:  That sounded closer!

Girl:  What is it?

<K-KRATHOOOM!>

The wall of the cafeteria bulges inward, explodes and crumbles to
the ground, leaving a big hole.  A beautiful girl in Chinese
clothes, carrying two big bonbori, stands in the hole.  She steps
through and looks around.

Chinese Girl:  Where Ranma?

For a second everything is silent, as the pupils look around and
at one another.  Then a buzz of whispered talking arises.  Akane
looks at Ranko and is astonished to find her shaking frightened in
her seat.  A Student speaks up.

Boy:  Ranma is not here.  Nobody has seen him since recess.

The Chinese girl frowns.

Chinese Girl:  Bad!

She leaves through the hole she created.  All the students stare
after her, except for Akane, who stares at Ranko.  Ranko slumps
into her chair, visibly relieved.  She shivers once and moans.

Ranko:  Shampoo!  How did she get to Japan?

Akane:  [whispers]  Ranko!  Who was that and what did she want you
        for?

Ranko:  [jerks back to the present]  Huh?!  Err, her name is
        Shampoo.  She... Ah, I don't know why she followed me from
        China.

Akane:  [thinks]  She's lying.


On their way home, Ranko is running along the fence hurriedly,
with Akane walking parallel on the ground, watching her carefully.

Ranko:  [thinks]  Damn!  I thought I had lost her.  What a luck
        that I got splashed during recess, or she would have found
        me right there.  [sweats]

Akane:  [thinks]  She's very worried.  Is that girl dangerous?
        Probably - considering the way she came in.


The Tendou family and their guests are gathered around the dinner
table.  Everybody is eating healthily;  Only Akane seems to notice
that Ranko is eating less than normal.  Soon Ranko stands up.

Ranko:  Sorry.  I gotta go train now.  It was delicious Kasumi.

She runs off to the practice hall, before anyone can ask her
questions, and soon the sound of smashing bricks and shrapnel
hitting the walls can be heard.

Nabiki:  Ranko finishing dinner early??


Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane are sitting in Akane's room.  Akane is
sitting at the head end of her bed with her knees pulled up, Nabiki
is lying relaxed on the bed and Kasumi is sitting on Akane's
chair.

Nabiki:  And this girl frightened Ranko?

Akane:  I'm sure.  She was shaking and has been jumpy ever
        since.  She's still training in the hall.  I would call
        that worried at least.

Kasumi:  Can you describe the girl?

Akane:  Well, she was kinda cute-looking - doll-faced.  She had
        her hair tied into two big knots on the sides of her head
        and the rest of it flowing down her back.  Her clothes
        were Chinese: baggy trousers, tied at the ankle;  Two
        little clasps at the cuffs of her sleeves;  Sequins or
        pearls sewn to the lower part of her shirt;  The chest of
        the shirt was made out of a black, silky material and
        there were two swirly white ornaments on it.  That's about
        all details I can remember.

Kasumi:  That sounds like one of the amazons from Joketsuzoku.

Akane and Nabiki stare at her.  Kasumi smiles back at them.

Nabiki: What do you know about the Amazons of Joku...

Kasumi:  Joketsuzoku.  I've read about them in a book.  It was a
         book about amazon cultures and female warriors all over
         the world, throughout history.  I found it very
         interesting.

Nabiki and Akane look at each other in disbelief.  Finally Akane
speaks up.

Akane:  Err, what did it say about these amazons?

Kasumi:  Oh, I don't remember everything, but I think they had
         this strange law about fighting outsiders.  If the
         outsider wins, they have to hound them to the end of
         earth and kill them. [smiles]

Akane looks at Nabiki again.  They sweat.


The next morning, Ranma and Akane are on their way to school.
Suddenly Akane sees the shadow of a bonbori fall on the ground
before a street corner.  Within the fraction of a second, she
jumps up and pushes Ranma from the fence into the canal.  Shampoo
comes around the corner.

Shampoo:  Girl see Ranma?

Akane:  Uh, yes!  He went that way.  [points away from the school]

Shampoo:  Good!

Just as Shampoo bounces out of sight, Ranma crawl out of the
canal.  He looks at Akane accusingly.

Akane:  Sorry, Ranma.  I just wanted to test if your were on
        guard.


As the day progresses, several scenes like this take place:

Akane stuffing Ranma into a cupboard and sending Shampoo to look
somewhere else.

Akane pouring hot water over Ranma, seconds before Shampoo looks
in their direction.

Akane attracting Shampoos attention and talking with her while
Ranma walks past behind their backs, unaware.

Akane leaning against the door of a broom closet, while Shampoo
comes down the corridor.  There is the end of a pigtail sticking
out between door and frame, but Akane is concealing it with her


Nabiki and Akane are sitting in the Tendou living room, after

Nabiki:  Why did Ranma look at you that way, all through dinner?

Akane:  Uh, well...  I hid him from Shampoo a few times today.  I
        think I got a little rough sometimes.

<THOOOM!>

Nabiki:  What's that?!

<THOOOM!>

Akane:  Oh no!

<KA-THOOOOM!>

Shampoo:  Akane, Korosu!

Akane:  Uh... Shampoo.

Shampoo is standing in a big hole in the wall - and she looks
angry.

Shampoo:  Akane!  You hide Ranma!  You say "Ranma go there", but
          Ranma no there.  You say "Ranma no here", but other
          people all say he there.  Shampoo ask people where Ranma
          live.  People say "He live with Tendou Akane!"

Akane:  Look, Shampoo.  What do you want Ranma for?

Shampoo:  You no keep Shampoo talking.  You hide Ranma - You
          obstacle!  Obstacle is for breaking.

Shampoo lunges at Akane with her bonbori.  Akane throws herself
back to avoid the weapon, but in that moment a foot intercepts the
descending ball.

Ranma:  No playing ball in the house!

The handle breaks and the metal sphere flies up into the air.  It
falls right onto Shampoo's head, knocking her out.

Ranma goes into shock position.

Ranma:  Oh no!  I defeated her again.

Nabiki:  So you did that once already?

Ranma:  Err... [turns red]

Shampoo moans and begins to stir.  She sits up and sees Ranma.
immediately she jumps to her feet.

Shampoo:  Ranma!  Finally Shampoo get you.

Ranma:  [retreating]  Uh, Shampoo.  Look, don't...

Akane:  [thinks] She's going to attack!

Shampoo jumps at Ranma.  Akane and Nabiki gasp in shock, when the
Chinese girl embraces him, pulls his head down to hers and kisses
him passionately.

-- End of part 17.

  --------------------------------------------------------------

Continued in part 18:  "He Shampoo's husband"


Sebastian
--
       <http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/>
                         Comics reviewed
--
Q. How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two.  One to change it and one to observe how the light bulb
   itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective
   reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out
   toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.