Subject: [FF Ranma 1/2] "Ninja no Himitsu", part 5 [HELP!]
From: joenikki@netcom.com (Joseph Palmer)
Date: 6/23/1996, 11:20 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

H E L P !

I'm having a bit of touble with the story line here and I'd like some
ideas from any of you about how to finish this mess. Please see the
questions at the end. There will be a quiz.

Our story so far:

<WARNING SPOILERS! You may skip to the story below or use the remailer
nnh@ranma.net to get the first 4 parts before>

<SPOILERS>

        Part 1:
        Ranma and the Tendou daughters spend an afternoon in a
        bookstore.
        Happosai makes a purchase of a antique Martial arts book
        "The secrets of the Ninja." This is the opening sequence
        that happens before the credits.

        Part 2:
        Opening Credits, Then Happosai Creates 3 vials of the
        formula of exchange, he uses 1 to try to swap bodies
        with Akane, but instaid Ryouga and Akane swap. Akane
        chases Ranma all over Tokyo, and is lost (Dang  that
        Hibiki direction curse!) Ryouga awakes in Akane's room.

        Part 3:
        Akane discovers her new body, Ryouga takes to the street,
        just in time meet up with Kuno. Kuno re-enters near Akane
        in the park. Akane follows him and ends up at U-chan's.
        Akane and Uchan argue and a pitcher of water is launched.

        Part 4:
        Akane (In Ryouga's body) carries P-chan home. 
        Ranma arrives and is surprised by what he sees. He brings
        "Ryouga" and Pchan home, the must head off to find Akane.
        PChan changes back in the tub (Poor Soun!) and they recover
        the book from Happosai's disheveled room.
        They discover it is in Chinese.

< END SPOILERS >

Ninja no Himitsu
[The Ninja's Secret]

Part 5

Based on characters created by Takahashi Rumiko
Written by Joseph Palmer
Inspiration by Nikki Kim

Late evening, street outside NekoHanten

Ryouga and Akane are hiding out in an alley across from the Nekohanten.
They have a view of the front of the restraunt.

Voices are heard coming from the front door
 
                                SHAMPOO
                        Hiba-chan, I take order now

                                COLOGNE
                        Hurry back! There's still lotts of cleaning up to do
        
                                SHAMPOO
                        Be right back, delivery only 20 Kilometres away!

                Shampoo exits shop with delivery box, Hops on bike
                (With all appropriate bouncing...)
                and rides off.

Street scene, evening.
POV (as if camera was mounted to shampoo's bike) 
        38 cute frames of Shampoo riding her bike for the Shampoo fans)
        View zooms back to show wide angle, "Camera" Position stops, shifts
        left and  pans to follow SHAMPOO as she rides by off into the distance

        RANMA comes from between buildings into frame muttering, walking
        into the camera

                                RANMA
                        (Calling) Akane! (pause) Akane!
                        (Muttering)
                        You now, this is NOT how I planned to spend this evening.

        He Looks between buildings

                                RANMA
                        Why is this sort of thing ALWAYS happening to me?
                        What is it with that girl today anyway?
                        
        He walks past the "camera" down the sidewalk. (Pan to follow)
        He turns between buildings 

        Akane and Ryouga cross street from other direction into nekohaunten
                
                                Colonge (Heard through door)
                        Irashai! [Welcome]
                        
        Ryouga and Akane greet her unintelegibly.
                        
Interior view of Nekohanten

        Colonge holds the old book, flipping through pages

                                Colonge
                        (Laughs)
                        Now this I haven't seen this in many, many years!

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        What?  You've seen this book before?

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        Can you tell us what it says?

                                Colonge
                        Of course I ccould, but there are some powerfull
                        secrets here.
                        I shouldn't be revealing them to you kids.

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        Please, you've got to help us!

                                Colonge
                        Where did you get this?

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        Happosai bought it in a used book store yesterday
                        morning.

                                Colonge
                        Bookstore? I wonder how it got there?

Brief Veiw of Mousse listening in from kitchen

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        What does  it matter how it got there?
                        Can you help us?

Interior of Nekohaunten

                                Colonge
                        Why should I help you? 

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        We think Happosai used something from the book
                        on us...

                                Colonge 
                        (With great surprise) What????

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        Here! We found the book open to this page.

        Ryouga taps a post-it note sticking out of the book 

        Colonge opens to the page and begins to read

                                Colonge
                        Wo ho ho ho ho!
                        Did you two share a bath recently?

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        (Blushing)
                        It's not like that!

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        I slipped on some soap! Thats all!

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        Anyway, what does the book say about it?

Brief view of Shampoo returning to the back door of the Nekohaunten.
She enters and hears Ryouga and Akane talking to Colonge, She ducks
beside a doorway and listens.

                                Colonge
                        Normaly I wouldn't help you since you, since are
                        engaged to my son-in-law, but I must because I am
                        partly to blame for what happened.

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        How are you envolved?

                                Colonge
                        I wrote this book.

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        How could you put the instructions for 
                        something so dangerous into a book?

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        PLease! You must help us!
                
Brief view of Ukyou walking home from the baths in a robe,
carriying her bath bowel and towel.
She hears the comotion in the Nekohanten and pauses.

                                Ukyou
                        Hmmm?

                                Colonge
                    O.K.
                        Lett's see here.
                        (Reading) "The formula of exchange can be used to swap
                        ...".

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                                (Interupting)
                        Yeah, Yeah we know all THAT.

Outside Ukyou is seen hiding under a window, her head cocked listening

                                Colonge
                        Hmmph. the impatience of youth.
                        Let's see here..
                        It's a blue liquid...
                        There are a lot of detailed instrucions for making the
                        formula, some warnings about propper handling during
                        the process....

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        It can be explosive!

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        That explains the mess in Happosai's room...

Outside Ranma is walking down the street, he hears the voices
Ranma stops and presses himself against the front of the store,
he cocks his hand to his ear.

                                Colonge
                        ...Hmm the formula is poured into a large tub of water
                        and both people get in...


                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        That much we know.

                                Colonge
                        Letts see...a list of ingredients...
                        I have everything here but "kaseikinomi" seeds.
                        Wait, there's something added here...

        She holds the book close to her face, tilts it right and left

                                Colonge
                        It's very faint, something about Jyousenkyo....

View of Ranma, he turns startled at the word "Jyousenkyo".

                                Colonge
                        It's a warning...
                        (reading) 
                        "If a person when cursed..."

View of shampoo listening intently.

                                Colonge
                         ... use the formula ...

View of Mousse in kitchen, he pushes up his glasses.

                                Colonge
                        ...the curse...

Ryouga (in Akane's body) leans forward straining at every word.

                                Colonge
                        ...will be  transfered....


SPFX Screen splits into 4 seperate frames for (L to R)
Shampoo, Ryouga, Mousse, and Ranma.

                                Colonge
                        ...even if the water is  hot...
                        ...to the other person."


Shampoo, Mousse, Ryouga and Ranma, each get an evil grin on their faces.

BGM Starts out heavy and ominous, changes to light "video game" style

Shampoo's frame enlarges to fill the screen, dream disolves to 

Tendou Bath 

        SD (Small body cute form) Shampoo pours formula into tub
        She turns on cold water, turns into cat, hides behind bucket
        SD Akane enters bath, gets in tub

        Shampoo Cat jumps into air above tub.

                                Shampoo Cat
                        Nyan! Nyan!

                                Akane
                        Kiyaaaaaa!

        Shampoo Cat jumps in tub
        Large flash
        Shampoo Emerges, 

ZOOM In to edge of tub

        SD Akane cat emerges sopping wet from the tub.
        [I can't wait to see what the illustrators do with that! --J.]
        SD Ranma rushes into bath
                
                                Ranma
                        Akane!

        He looks around sees Akane Cat

                                Ranma
                        NEKO!

                                Shampoo
                        Now Akane is cat! 
                        Now husband take shampoo on date!

        Shampoo walks out with Ranma on her arm, 

                                Ranma (quivering)
                        Neko..... Neko..... Ne.........ko

Close up of Akane Cat

                                Akane Cat
                        (Mornfully, with resignation)
                         Nyaan Mao !  (Ranma!)

Dream Resolve back to shampoo 

        Shampoo laughs under her breath

Shampoo's frame reduces in size, back to the Cursed group, each in their 
own frame. Shampoo turns right towards Ryouga.

BGM Ryouga's "Elephant trumpet" theme.

Ryoua's frame enlarges, dream disolve to Tendou Bath

        SD Ryouga pours formula into tub
        Turns himself into Pchan using shower
        Hides behind bucket
        SD Ranma Enters and gets in bath, 

                                SD Ranma
                        Ow, so hot...

        He Slides into water    
                                SD Ranma
                        Ah..... thats better!

        Pchan jumps into tub
        Flash of light
        SD Rouga emerges holding Ranma -Pchan by his ponytail
        Ranma -Pchan fights with SD Ryouga, gets free and turns on Shower
        SD Ranma-chan appears

                                SD Ranmachan
                        C- C- Cold !

        SD Ranmachan jumps into steaming tub
        Emerges as Ranma-Pchan

                                SD Ryouga
                        So, Ranma, who's P-Chan now?

                                Ranma Pchan
                        Baweeeeeeeee!

Disolve to SD Ryouga and SD Akane Holding hands under SD Sun.

        Ryouga is holding Ranma Pchan under his foot.

Dream resolve to Ryouga, he laughs under his breath
Ryouga's frame reduces in size, back to the Cursed group, each in their 
own frame. He turns to Mousse.

BGM: Military drums (a la Hogan's Heros Theme)

Mousse's frame enlarges, an evil grin crosses his face.

Dream dissolve to tendou bath

        SD Ranma is sitting in the bath, looking out the window

Exterior overhead view of Nerima

        SD MuMu flys into veiw wearing bomber goggles and a leather cap,
        he's holding a vial of formula with bomb fins in his feet.
        He pivots on one wing and begins a dive bombing run.
        
SFX: Diving Airplane sound.     

MuMu Eye view of Tendou Home

        MuMu lines up the bath window and lets the vial go. 
        He pulls up unto a 360 degree loop to give his "Bomb" time to reach
        its targer, then he follows the vial.

Vial eye view of falling towards house, passing through the window
entering the tub.

SFX: Minor splash

Underwater veiw of fins falling off the vial, the blue formula mixing
with the water

Veiw of SD Ranma in tub

                                SD Ranma
                        Huh? What was that?

        SD Mumu flies through window into the tub, splashing ranma with
        a huge wave of water. While the wave is in the air, a bright
        flash occurs.

        Mousse emerges from tub, Ranma-duck is seen Paddling on the surface.

Dream dissolve to SD nekohaunten

        SD Mousse is sitting at table
        SD Shampoo appears carrying large serving platter with cover

                                SD Shampoo
                        Mousse defeat Stupid Ranma duck again!
                        I make favorite dish!

        She opens the lid, a cooked Ranma Duck is under the cover.

Dream resolve to Mousse, he chuckles evily

Mousse's frame reduces in size, back to the Cursed group, each in their 
own frame. He turns to Ranma.

BGM: Panda theme from first series

Ranma's Frame grows to fill the screen
        He frowns, scratches his head thinking a moment then smacks his
        closed right hand into his open upturned left hand
        (Note, he does this in the Manga to signify that he has 
        an idea)

Dream dissolve to tendou backyard

        SD Ranma and SD Genma are fighting, they end up in pond
        SD Ranmachan and SD Panda emerge from pond

                                SDRanma (In high pitched SD Voice)
                        Com'on Pop, Lets change back before breakfast!

                                SD Panda 
                        Bahhro!
                        (Sign) O.K.

Tendou Bath

        SD Panda enters tub overflowing the sides
        SD Ranma-chan undresses and pretends to wash
        She pulls a vial out of the towel wrapped around her waist

                                SD Ranma-Chan
                        Hey Pop! Look! Godzilla!
                        
        She points out the window)
                                
                                SD Genma
                        Where? Where?
                        
        SD Genma looks out window
        SD Ranma-chan pours vial into the bath

                                SD Ranma-Chan
                        Hey Pop, about that training trip to jyousenkyo...

                                SD Genma
                        Yeah...

                                SD Ranma-Chan
                        You know this girl curse

                                SD Genma
                        (Beat) Yeah...

                                SD Ranma Chan
                        How about you being the girl for a while?

        SD Ranmachan Jumps into the air above the tub
        She holds her nose and plunges in cannonball style
        A  huge wave covers Genma
        Bright Flash
        The water receids revealing SD Genma -Chan

                                SD Ranma
                        He he! Looks like I've got two moms now!
                        See you at breakfast- MOM!

Dream resolve to Ranma
        A  sly grin comes over his face

                                Ranma
                        Heh Heh Heh...

Ranma's frame shrinks revealing the other frames.
They all smile and laugh ominously.

                                Colonge         
                        Shimata! The seeds!
                        
Interior view of Nekohanten

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        What's wrong?

                                Colonge         
                        They're from a bush that only grows in china.

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        Oh boy... not another trip to China.
                        
                                Colonge
                        There's no point, the bush is extinct.
                        The shogun had them all burned.

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        But... Happosai has some.

                                Ryouga (In Akane's body and voice )
                        We've got to go back and get those seeds.

                                Akane (In Ryouga's body and voice)
                        Lets Go!
                        
        Ryouga and Akane run from Nekohanten.
        
Exterior veiw of NekoHanten

        Ranma Picks up discarded newspaper and hides behind it as
        Akane And Ryouga run out.
        Ranma jumps onto the roof and makes off for home.
        
View of Ranma running and jumping rooftop to rooftop

                                Ranma
                        Here's my chance to get rid of my curse and 
                        get even with pop ...
                        
                        
End of Part 5

(Please HELP!)

Copyright 1996 Joseph Palmer
                        



Now here's where I need help, There will be the obligitory chase scene with the
entire cast making cameo apperances. (Since there is NO chance of this sucker
ever being produced as a REAL OAV, I'm not worried about paying the voice actors)

Questions: 

1> In the end Ranma must give up the last vial of formula to restore Akane,
what should I do with the other? There needs to be 3 from the start, because
if there were only ever 2, everyone knows that It must be used in the end
to save Akane.
I think the middle one is critical for tension in the story, in that
It "might" get used by one of the cursed group. Now, how should I use it?

2> About the seeds and formulas. How can I get Ranma and the others to go 
after Happosai for the the seeds, then the vials wihout reveialing that
Akane and Ryouga have swapped?

3> How can I make Colonge feel more guilty about the book?

Please, Ideas and comments are desperatly required.

P.S. WW, it's time to link Autumn to the Web Page!


______________________________________________________________________________
Joseph Palmer                       Please send BeBox mail to jpalmer@be.com
Director of Hardware Engineering    http://www.be.com - comp.sys.be - #BeBox
Be, Incorporated.                  "Hey Akane, could you hand me that hammer?"
______________________________________________________________________________