Okay... This is something a wrote while back before the end of the
Ranma manga. When the series ended and I eralised how LAME Rumiko-sans
ending was, I dug this up and began to work on it again. Anyway, I've
toyed and tinkered with it for as long as I can be bothered and now
I need some input from others. All help and C&C (no matter how brutal)
is appreciated.
P-word.
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"Rest in peace."
Anyway... Here goes...
==============================================================================
Clogged Sink Press Presents:
Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction -
Resolutions I - All Good Things...
By:Plunger
All characters are copyright of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Inc.
and Viz Communications, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah...
______________________________________________________________________________
This is a "What if?" ending type story. It is part 1 of a three part series
with Ranma marrying either Akane, Ukyou or Shampoo in each (assuming I can
be bothered writing any more... Or can come up with something worth writing).
In any case, I guess I got inspired after reading Rumiko-san's lousy ending!!
:( This is my attempt at fixing it.
This has been consciously or unconsciously influenced by the superfluous work
of John Biles and several other brilliant and talented people, and I thank
them all for their inspirational efforts. (suck, suck) ;)
Note: This was written BEFORE I found out that Nodoka knew about the curse.
Beware! This contains a mushy, syrupy ending that I'm quite ashamed of. It's
more Kun-chan's fault than mine, so there!
That said... Down to business...
______________________________________________________________________________
[Story begins...]
[Tendou Doujou, Afternoon]
[Ranma sits on the porch of the house, holding a bag of ice against his face.
He pulls the bag away wincing, and feels the bruise. It is large and round
and looks like it's going to stay there for a while. He sighs.]
Ranma: (muttering) Geez! She is so macho! All she ever does is hit me!
[Kasumi notices Ranma and walks out onto the porch and sits down next to him.]
Kasumi: Ranma you really must try to be a little more thoughtful with Akane.
Even I would feel pushed to not hit you, the way you talk to her.
Ranma: Oh, come on! All I'm doing is teasing her a little. It's not serious
or anything! She just goes and blows it all out of preportion!
Kasumi: She doesn't know that, Ranma. She worries when you're mean to her.
She thinks it means you don't like her!
Ranma: (shrugging) I d-
[He stops, noticing Kasumi's frown. (A rare sight, ne?)]
Kasumi: You're a bad liar, Ranma. It doesn't suit you.
Ranma: (sighs) She's just so hard to deal with. I want to try and get on with
her... But she's SO bad tempered.
Kasumi: (smiling) I guess it's up to you to temper her temper.
Ranma: (mutters) Great...
[Kasumi gets up and walks away. Ranma sighs again and reapplies the ice to
his face.]
[Tendou Doujou, A Little Later]
[Ranma appears to have recovered from his spat with Akane and is doing his
kata in the doujou, when Shampoo walks in. Or, more to the point, hammers the
wall down.]
Shampoo: Nihao, Ranma!
Ranma: (resigned) Hi, Shampoo.
Shampoo: Shampoo come to see Ranma. Cheer up. Must be hard to live with Akane!
Ranma: (looking inclined to agree) Err... Not really...
Shampoo: (gloms onto him) Shampoo love Ranma. You marry me? Be better wife
than Akane!
Ranma: (getting nervous) If I were to marry you, I'd get thrown out of home!
Or worse, killed!
Shampoo: No worry. Shampoo protect husband!
Ranma: (depressed) Great! What about Mousse? I don't think I could stand
beating him up every other day!
Shampoo: I get rid of him!
Ranma: (desperate) At this point I CAN'T marry you! Not won't. Can't!
Shampoo: (rubs against him) Is pity. Shampoo be very loving wife!
Ranma: (turns red) Shampoo!
Shampoo: Ok. I go. See you later!
[Shampoo runs out through the hole in the wall and disapears into the street.
She is replaced by an angry Akane storming into the room. She has obviously
been listening to what has just transpired.]
Akane: So you do want to marry Shampoo?! You just don't want to get kicked
out of here, is that it?!
Ranma: Calm down. I was just trying to get her to go away and leave me alone
for a while. I thought if I said that she might at least go. She's so
persistant!
Akane: (pouting) You're just leading her on!
Ranma: No, I'm not! I keep telling her I'm not marrying her and she keeps
pestering me! It's not my fault!
Akane: (slaps him) It's all your fault! It always is! You're such a pervert!
Ranma: And you're such a macho baka! (pokes his tongue out) Nyaaaah!
[Akane hammers him something shocking and kicks him into the pond. Ranma-onna
crawls out and sits on the lawn to dry out, looking like a sad sack of
potatoes.]
Ranma-onna: I have gotta learn to keep my mouth shut!
[Ryouga suddenly appears from wherever it is that Ryouga always appears from.]
Ryouga: Amen to that. While you're at it, why not tell Akane you're not going
to marry her? Then I can have her.
Ranma-onna: Hah! I might marry her just to brown you off!
Ryouga: I'll kill you first! (chases Ranma-onna)
Ranma-onna: Aaaahhahaha! You're too slow, Ryouga!
[Ryouga chases Ranma-onna around the house until Ranma trips him and knocks
him into the pond.]
Ryouga/P-chan: Noooooooo/bwwweeeeeee!
Ranma-onna: Give it up, Ryouga. As a guy I'm too tough, and as a girl I'm too
fast!
[P-chan looks balefully at Ranma until a flying dumbell hits Ranma in the
back of the head and topples her into the water. Akane is standing on the
porch and is apparently the source of the aforementioned projectile.]
Akane: Ranma! How many time do I have to tell you?! Don't pick on P-chan!
Ranma-onna: I wasn't picking on the damned pig!
Akane: Shut up and DIE!
[Akane puts her foot on Ranma's head and tries to drown her. Ranma ducks to
the side and jumps out of the pond.]
Ranma-onna: I don't need this! I'm outta here!
[Ranma-onna jumps up and dodges a few throw objects from Akane, then leaps
over the fence, before running off down the street.]
Ranma-onna: (thought) She is totally crazy! Every time I do anything, she
goes nuts! And that pig, Ryouga, is driving me crazy! I gotta do
something about him...
[Ranma-onna walks aimlessly until she reaches Ucchan's.]
Ranma-onna: Hm. Must be an omen.
[Shrugging, she walks into the restraunt and sits down at the bar. She waits
a moment and then Ukyou enters the room.]
Ukyou: Can I help... Ran-chan! What are doing here? Do you want some hot
water?
Ranma-onna: Yes, please.
[Ukyou goes out and brings back a kettle, which she pours on Ranma-onna,
turning her male.]
Ukyou: So what brings you here?
Ranma: I'm hiding from Akane and Shampoo. Of all my fiancees, you're
the only sane one!
Ukyou: (smiling at the compliment) It must be difficult dealing with so many
crazy people...
Ranma: Not really. Apart from you, everyone I know is crazy...more or
less... (sighs) I guess I'm used to it.
Ukyou: What are you going to do now?
Ranma: Lay low for a while and hope that Akane simmers down a bit.
Ukyou: Why not have somthing to eat while you're here?
Ranma: I don't think my finances are up to it at the moment. (looks annoyed)
Nabiki has been charging extra interest lately...
[Ukyou baps him lightly on the head.]
Ukyou: On the house, silly!
Ranma: Oh! Sure, why not? That way I won't have to eat anything Akane cooks
for a while!
Ukyou: Good idea. Say... Why doesn't Akane-chan ever gets any better?
Ranma: Beats me. I'd learned to cook in half the time she's taken. I think
it's 'cause once she cooks it, she has to fight it. It does great
things for her martial arts...but it wrecks the food!
Ukyou: (smiles) My cooking is much better behaved.
Ranma: Yeah... It is sorta...normal.
Ukyou: (nervously) Ran-chan...
Ranma: Yeah?
Ukyou: Are you ever going to choose one of us to marry?
Ranma: (shocked) Ucchan... I...
Ukyou: It's okay... You don't have to answer...
Ranma: Ucchan... I... don't know... It's all so crazy... Like everything else
in my life! I've never had a normal home OR a normal parent! I'm very
confused... I wouldn't even know where to begin... I mean...
Ukyou: I guess things have been kinda weird.
Ranma: There's an understatement! Mayhem is the main export of this town.
Even you were out to get me at first.
Ukyou: (defensive) I didn't know the truth then!
Ranma: (smiling) It's okay! I'm joking! It just proves that chaos is a given
around here...
Ukyou: Seriously, though... What are you going to do?
Ranma: What? About marriage...? Nothing.
Ukyou: (looks at the dish she is cooking) Oh, well... Here!
[Ukyou flips him an okonomiyaki and moves to sit down next to him. Meanwhile,
Ranma has started to eat the okonomiyaki.]
Ranma: You're a great cook, Ucchan. You've got that in your favour.
Ukyou: (smiles) Thanks, Ran-chan.
Ranma: If Akane could cook like this, I mightn't fight with her so much!
Ukyou: You and Akane don't really get on very well, do you?
Ranma: Sometimes we do. Just never when she cooks or when P-chan shows up.
Grrr. I could kill Ryouga!
Ukyou: Why not just let him have Akane and you can marry me?
Ranma: And let him think he's beaten me? NO WAY!
Ukyou: Well, I think things will sort themselves out either way...
Ranma: I hope so. They can't get much worse!
[At this point there is a clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Ranma
looks out the door and sighs.]
Ranma: Great! Just what I needed!
[Ukyou smiles as Ranma gets up and walks out the door. As soon as the rain
hit's him, he changes.]
Ranma-onna: Thanks for the food...and the talk. It was good.
Ukyou: (waving) Anytime, Ran-chan!
[Ranma-onna trudges dismally down the street, getting waterlogged. She is not
paying attention to where she is going, and walks slap-bang in Tatewaki Kunou.
He turns.]
Kunou: My appolog- Oh! My goddess in pigtails! How I have longed to see you!
You're beauty lights up and otherwise dark and cloudy day!
[He grabs her in his arms and spins her around.]
Ranma-onna: Put me down and stop spouting that crap!
Kunou: But I love you so, my darling! I cannot bear to let you go!
Ranma-onna: I'll knock you out!
Kunou: You do this with you're love alone!
Ranma-onna: Put me down, you Shakesperian Spaz! (punches him)
Kunou: Ow. The touch of you're fist sends delight though me! You must truely
love me!
Ranma-onna: (with an "I've got an idea" look on her face) (cute voice) But
Sempai, I thought you loved Tendou Akane... It isn't fair to date
us both!
Kunou: This is true... (sadly) But alas there is only one me... And I cannot
deprive either one of you of my love!
Ranma-onna: (sarcastically) Don't go out of your way...
Kunou: (putting her down) Now, my love, I must be on my way. I have important
duties to attend to. Never let it be said that Tatewaki Kunou does not
know duty and responsibility! (walks off)
Ranma-onna: (under breath) Yeah... Responsibility for so much trouble!
[Kunou walks off down the street, spouting poetry. He fails to notice a sign
and walks into it. He collapses, unconscious.]
Ranma-onna: What a fool!
[Ranma moves off in another direction and soon finds herself at Dr. Toufuu's
Clinic. She sighs and walks in.]
Ranma-onna: You here, sensei?
Toufuu: (from behind Ranma) Hello, Ranma. What can I do for you?
Ranma-onna: Argh! (turns around) Don't do that!
Toufuu: Sorry.
Ranma: I was wondering if I could talk to you...
Toufuu: Certainly. Come in here.
[Dr. Toufuu leads Ranma-onna into his consultation room and sits her down. He
then grabs a pot and pours the contents on Ranma-onna.]
Ranma: Thanks, doc.
Toufuu: (sitting down) Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?
Ranma: My fiancee problem...
Toufuu: I see...
Ranma: I wish I did...
Toufuu: What seems to be the problem with you're fiancees? They all like you.
Ranma: Yeah, but I'm not sure about how I feel about them! It's as if all my
choices have been taken away from me! I'm trapped!
Toufuu: Ranma. This is you're life. You have to be your own master. If you try
to please everyone, you'll go crazy!
Ranma: And be like everyone else in Nerima.
Toufuu: I think you're exaggerating.
Ranma: (flatly) I don't...
Toufuu: One of these days, you are going to have to make a decision of some
sort. They won't hang on forever!
Ranma: I know... But whatever choice I make will cause a slaughter! It'll
make world war two look like a minor scuffle!
Toufuu: Maybe you should just try being nice to Akane... It can't hurt...
You never know what will happen. Sometimes you have to trust that
things WILL happen in the right way...
Ranma: (curiously) You mean like you and Kasumi?
Toufuu: (glasses fog up) Kasumi?!
[Ranma realizes his mistake, and jumps up and runs out before the good doctor
has an opportunity to do him an injury. He runs out into the rain and changes,
once again, into his female alter ego. She begins to walk towards the doujou,
rather depressed.]
Ranma-onna: Everyone seems to know what they want. Shampoo wants me. Mousse
wants Shampoo. Ukyou wants me. Ryouga wants Akane. What do I
want? What does Akane want? Argh! This is going to drive me nuts.
I'll end up like Kodachi... Ack! Kodachi! I hope she doesn't get
any ideas... I have enough trouble as it is!
[Ranma-onna soon arrives at the doujou and walks in. He finds Akane in the
kitchen, helping Kasumi make dinner (Althought the term 'helping' is matter
of opinion. And conjecture).]
Ranma-onna: Hi Akane. Hi Kasumi.
Kasumi: Hello, Ranma. Would you like some hot water?
Ranma-onna: Yes. Being a girl is a bit of a pain sometimes.
[At this, Akane jumps on her.]
Akane: Just what do you mean by that?!
Ranma-onna: (surprised) Mean by what?
Akane: About how being a girl is a pain!
Ranma-onna: I meant it's annoying how whenever I turn into a girl, Kunou or
Happousai always show up for a cheap feel! I bumped into Sempai
when I was out!
Akane: Oh. Sorry.
Ranma-onna: S'okay.
[Akane takes a kettle from Kasumi and pours it on Ranma-chan.]
Ranma: Arrrgh! HOT!
Akane: Sorry.
Ranma: S'okay.
Akane: What's with you?
Ranma: How do you mean?
Akane: You're being too nice. It makes me nervous.
Ranma: What? You prefer it when I abuse you?
Akane: At least then, you're running to form!
Ranma: I can be nice, you know.
Akane: (dubious) I've yet to see it.
Ranma: Watch and learn.
[Ranma walks up to a plate of food. It looks rather battered (in fact, it
looks irradiated) and is obviously one of Akane's cullinary nightmares.]
Ranma: (pointing at plate) Did you make this?
Akane: Uh-huh.
Ranma: Observe.
[Ranma picks a piece up and eats it. He turns green, then yellow, then black
and finally finishes a sort of off-white color. Akane growls and kicks him.]
Akane: Baka! That was for everyone!
Kasumi: (with a relieved expresion) He did eat it by choice though, Akane.
Akane: You're right... (grabs Ranma and glares at him) What are you up to?
Ranma: (weakly) I talked to Dr. Toufuu. He gave me some advice...
Akane: (shaking him) What advice?!
Ranma: (eyes rolling into head) That I should try to get along with you...
Akane: So why are you following it, then?
Ranma: (mumbling) (looks stoned) I am the egg man... whoo... I am the
walrus... jookookujukujoo... (passes out)
Akane: (drops him) Baka!
Kasumi: I think it's nice that Ranma-kun is making an effort to appreciate you.
Akane: Easy for you to say! You're not engaged to him!
Kasumi: True.
Akane: Hey, oneechan. How long do I nuke the eggs for?
[Akane puts the eggs in the microwave, shuts the door and presses a few
buttons.]
Kasumi: No, wait! (ducks as microwave explodes) (flatly) You can't put eggs
in the microwave...
Ranma: (sits up dizzily) Did someone knock?
Akane: No. Here. Let me help you up.
[She pulls Ranma to his feet and looks at him.]
Akane: Are you okay?
Ranma: No. I feel a little woozy...
Akane: It's probably the shock of the explosion.
Ranma: There was an explosion? I thought it was a christamas cracker...
Akane: Maybe you'd better lie down for a bit.
Ranma: (vaguely) Yeah...
[Akane leads Ranma to the couch and lays him out. She then walks back into
the kitchen.]
Kasumi: It's good to see you looking after Ranma-kun. It shows you care.
Akane: I don't care! I don't, I don't, I don't!
Kasumi: Whatever...
[Akane continues to commit gastronomic crimes against humanity and Kasumi
tries to minimize the damage. Ranma lies on the couch and dreams...]
Ranma (dream): Where am I? (looks around)
[He is in a place that is all white and misty. A figure walks out of the
fog. It is his female self. He looks down to find that he is male.]
Ranma: Wha?
Ranma-onna: This is your mind.
Ranma: No way! You're me!
Ranma-onna: Yes, way! I am the other side of your personallity. I am your
compassion, your interlect and your love. I am the things you try
not to use!
Ranma: Are you saying I don't use my intellect?
Ranma-onna: (shrugs) Not much...
Ranma: I don't have to take this! You're asking for a fight!
Ranma-onna: Fighting yourself is the most foolish thing a man can do!
Ranma: Says you! KAKUSHU-TENSHIN-AMUGURI-KEN!
[Ranma-onna steps around the blows and drives an elbow into his ribs.]
Ranma-onna: You cannot beat me. I am you. I know everything you do and I
can read your moves before you do them.
Ranma: (subsiding) Why is my 'better half' lecturing me?
Ranma-onna: I have come to warn you. An important time is coming in our life.
You will have to make some important decisions and you must make
the right choices.
Ranma: What decisions?
Ranma-onna: I cannot tell you. You cannot know your future.
Ranma: So why are you telling me this?
Ranma-onna: You need to accept a few realities before you make your choices.
Ranma: And?
Ranma-onna: You have hidden many things from yourself for a long time. I
am going to show you some home truths.
Ranma: Like what?
Ranma-onna: Like your love for Akane.
Ranma: (angry) I don't love that tomboy!
Ranma-onna: (sighs) You can't lie to yourself any longer. If you won't accept
it, I will force you to see.
Ranma: (moves into a fighting stance) Just try it.
[Ranma-onna waves a hand and chair appears behind Ranma and he is strapped
into it.]
Ranma: Hey! Lemme out!
Ranma-onna: This is your subconscious. I am dominant here.
Ranma: Grrr!
Ranma-onna: Now that I have you're attention... I will continue...
[A screen appears in the air and images begin to flash across it. They all
show tender moments between Ranma and Akane.]
Ranma-onna: See? You claim not to love Akane, but you're feelings for her run
very deep. Look at all the battles you have fought for her. Why
would you do that if you did not have feelings for her? You love
her more than anything else in the world...and yet you won't admit
it! To deny love is the greatest foolishness of all.
Ranma: But I...
Ranma-onna: You do love her. What is cost of admitting it?
Ranma: I can't... I'll hurt Ucchan...and Shampoo...
Ranma-onna: You love Ukyou as well... But deep down you know that Akane is
your soulmate. You are yin and yang. Each is one half, but only
together can you become whole. You are destined to be together.
Ranma: But we fight and argue all the time!
Ranma-onna: Your pride is clouding you're judgement. Akane is the most
beautiful girl you have ever seen. You love her. Accept what I
say. I am you. I know all you're secrets, all you're desires...
and you desire Akane.
Ranma: (breaks out of the chair in a rage) YOU LIE! I DO NOT!
Ranma-onna: (dodges a punch and kicks him in the stomach) I do not lie. I have
no need. You have seen what you need to. (walks back into fog) You
must make your choices, Ranma. Make the right ones... They are
mine as well...
[Ranma groans and sits up. He is in the loungeroom in the Tendou-ke.]
Ranma: What a weird dream!
Akane: (sitting nearby) What was weird?
Ranma: The dream I just had.
Akane: What made it weird?
Ranma: The female me sat me in a chair and told me that I loved you and that
I should accept it.
Akane: Hmph! Well, we're not getting married, so forget it!
Ranma: ...
Akane: (stares)
[Ranma gets up and walks off.]
Akane: (quietly) Ranma...
[Tendou Doujou, Evening]
[The family is sitting around eating dinner (the parts Kasumi cooked), and
talking.]
Genma: So, son. How are things going?
Ranma: (flatly) Don't ask!
Akane: Ranma's being a jerk again!
Ranma: Thanks.
Akane: ...
Soun: You two will have to get married ONE of these days.
Akane: Never!
Ranma: ...
Akane: Right, Ranma?
Ranma: ...
Akane: Ranma?
Ranma: Um...
Akane: Hmph! Fool!
[Ranma gets up (without finishing his dinner) and walks out.]
Akane: ...
Kasumi: That was not very kind, Akane.
Akane: (looks at ground) I know...
[She gets up and follows Ranma.]
Akane: (thought) I'm sorry, Ranma. I didn't mean to...
[Ranma is sitting on the roof of the dojo. The rain has stopped and he is
looking at the night sky. He appears to be talking to himself.]
Ranma: I guess it doesn't matter if I like Akane or not... She hates me!
Akane: No, I don't.
[Ranma turns and sees Akane walking across the roof towards him.]
Ranma: (surprised) You don't?
Akane: Of course not! I'm you're fiancee. I can't hate you.
Ranma: You don't want to be my fiancee, do you?
Akane: (sits down) I... n... I guess so...
Ranma: (stunned) Really?
Akane: Yes! How many times do you want me to say it?!
Ranma: About six should do it.
Akane: (baps him) Baka.
Ranma: If you want to be my fiancee, why are we always fighting?
Akane: I don't know... We just do... Why the sudden change?
Ranma: My dream showed me a lot of things...
Akane: What sort of things?
Ranma: My other self told me that some important decisions were coming, and
that I had to make the right choices. She told me that... that...
Akane: (gently) What did she tell you?
Ranma: (taking a deep breath) She told me that I love you and I'm fooling
myself by denying it.
Akane: (shocked) Do you? Is that true?
Ranma: I don't know... She said I wouldn't lie to myself.
Akane: She told you that?
Ranma: She's a part of me. Why would she lie?
Akane: (dubious) This was when you were a little out of it, wasn't it?
Ranma: (nods) Yeah. But I think it was like my subconscious coming through.
Akane: (stunned) But that would mean...
Ranma: (equally stunned) ...that I REALLY do love you...
Akane: How silly!
Ranma: Is it...really?
Akane: I don't know!
Ranma: Neither do I...
Akane: Well... Sitting out here all night won't solve anything. I'm going in.
Coming?
Ranma: No. I want think a bit more.
Akane: Okay. See ya!
Ranma: (nods)
[Ranma sits for a long time, looking at the night sky, as if staring at it
would give him answers. He is so engrossed in his thoughts that he fails to
see Kodachi arrive.]
Kodachi: Ranma-sama, you're waiting for me! How thoughtful you are!
Ranma: Urk! Kodachi?! No, I'm not!
Kodachi: There is no need to lie on my account, darling!
Ranma: Get this straight! I_WILL_NEVER_MARRY_YOU! Do you understand?!
Kodachi: That shrew Akane Tendou has poisoned your mind! Fortunatly I am also
a master of poisons!
Ranma: (with great restraint) What part of the sentence do you not understand?
Kodachi: Darling... Let us leave all this behind us. We can go and be free...
TOGETHER! Hohohohohohohoho!
Ranma: No fear!
[Ranma runs and leaps off the roof, Kodachi in hot persuit. Ranma dives
straight into the pond and sits at the bottom holding her breath. Kodachi
jumps down off the roof and look around. Not seeing him, she sighs and drops
a bouquet of black roses, before leaving.]
Ranma-onna: (climbing out of the water) Whew! I'm glad she's gone! It's worth
getting wet just to be rid of her!
[Ranma-onna sighs and walks into the house. She gets some hot water and then
goes and tries to dry his top. After a while, he gives up goes to bed.]
[Tendou Doujou, Night]
[Ranma is lying in bed, asleep. He is being tormented by dreams. After a
while, he settles down. Sometime later, Ryouga enters through the window.]
Ryouga: (loud whisper) Ranma! Wake up! I'm here to fight!
Ranma: Zzzzzzzzzz...
Ryouga: (louder) Ranma! Wake up!
Ranma: Wha? Urrr... Give it a rest, Ryouga... Come back tommorow.
Ryouga: (grabs Ranma) How dare you! I will not make an appointment!
Ranma: Ryouga, you have two options. 1. You can get out now on your own feet.
Or 2. You can be kicked out by me!
Ryouga: Hah! It is to-
[He is cut off as Ranma boots him out the window.]
Ranma: As Akane would say: Baka!
[He sits down and gets back into bed. Had he known what was coming, he might
have not slept at all...]
[Tendou Doujou, Morning]
[Ranma gets up and does his exercises. Afterwards, he walks into the house
and finds Akane eating breakfast.]
Ranma: Morning.
Akane: What was that racket last night?
Ranma: Just Ryouga asking for directions...
Akane: You'd better hurry up or we'll be late!
Ranma: Okay.
[He grabs his breakfast and scoffs it down in five seconds flat.]
Akane: That's grose!
Ranma: Bu if qik! (mouth full) [Translation: But it's quick!]
Akane: Come on!
Ranma : Ofay! (mouth full) [Translation: Okay!]
[They run out of the house and head for Furinkan High.]
[Furinkan High, A Little Later]
[Ranma and Akane arrive and are met by Kunou.]
Kunou: Saotome. You may not pass me. I will crush you and then take the
hand of the fair Tendou Akane.
Ranma & Akane: In your dreams!
Kunou: You must die!
[Kunou attacks Ranma, who ducks and kicks him in the knee.]
Kunou: Ow!
Ranma: You think that hurt? Try this!
[Ranma runs at Kunou and flips over him, then delivers an elbow to each of
his kidneys.]
Kunou: Ooof!
[Ranma kicks Kunou in the head and upperecuts him. Kunou collapses in a heap.]
Nabiki: (from a window) Kunou...falls...yet...again.
Ranma: He'll never give up, will he?
Akane: Not unless we get married.
Ranma: (troubled) Hmmm...
Akane: We'd better go. Miss Hinako might get there before us!
Ranma: Right!
[They run off and leave Kunou to take a nap.]
[In class, Ranma is off in dream land and Akane is talking to her friends.]
Yuka: Are you and Ranma ever getting married?
Akane: Please! You sound like my father!
Sayuri: (looks dreamy) I'd marry him in a minute!
Akane: You want to?
Sayuri: Umm... Actually...
Akane: Didn't think so!
Yuka: Do you think he'll ask you soon?
Akane: I don't care. I intend to say no.
Yuka: Are you crazy?!
Akane: No. Are you?
Sayuri: He's pretty cute, even he is a little dumb. I think you'd be crazy
not to.
Akane: If not wanting to marry him makes me crazy... Slap a straight jacket
on me and lock me up!
Yuka: Whatever...
Sayuri: It's a pity. You look good together.
Akane: Hmph!
[Meanwhile, Ranma is having a similar conversation.]
Daisuke: Hey, Ranma. Why don't you marry Akane? Then you could GET SOME!
Ranma: With a tomboy like her? Not likely!
Hiroshi: If she's married to you, she's got no excuse!
Ranma: I wouldn't want to do that with a kawaiikune girl like her, anyway!
Daisuke: Sure, sure... That's what they all say! You just haven't got the
guts!
Ranma: Keep talking like that and I'll take yours!
Daisuke: Point taken and duely noted.
Hiroshi: Akane's pretty hot. You're nuts, Ranma!
Ranma: (disinterested) So lock me up in the funny farm!
Daisuke: Gladly!
[The converstions trail off and time passes. It is now lunch time. Ranma,
Akane and Ukyou are sitting on the lawn outside the building.]
Akane: What's wrong with you, Ranma? You seem preoccupied.
Ranma: Huh? Oh! I was just thinking about the dream. I had it again last
night.
Ukyou: What dream?
Ranma: Don't worry about it.
Ukyou: Come on, Ran-chan. You can tell me.
Akane: He said he didn't want to talk about it!
Ukyou: Who asked you?!
Akane: No one needs to. He's my fiancee!
Ukyou: He mine, too!
Ranma: Can I say something?
Akane & Ukyou: NO!
Ranma: Sorry. Carry on...
Ukyou: The only reason he got engaged to you was because his fool father made
a stupid promise! I was his fiancee first!
Akane: Hah! Ranma thought you were a boy all that time!
Ukyou: So, what? I was the first to be engaged to him!
Akane: His father and mine made an agreement the day he was born! BEFORE his
father met your's!
Ukyou: Ran-chan, which engagement do you think counts more?
Ranma: Oh, no! I'm not getting into this! No way! Not a chance! As far as I'm
concerned, all these engagements are nothing but trouble!
Akane & Ukyou: Oh.
[The converstion subsides after this and they go back to class in silence,
Akane and Ukyou looking jealously at each other. At the end of the day, Ranma
and Akane head home straight after class. Unfortunatly, Mousse has other
ideas.]
Mousse: Saotome! You cannot have Shampoo!
Ranma: That's okay. I don't need any! I already washed my hair today.
Mousse: That is not a funny joke.
Ranma: Neither is your face, but it still makes me laugh!
Mousse: I will crush you if you try to marry Shampoo!
Ranma: I don't have any intention of getting married right now... To Shampoo
or anyone else!
Mousse: How can you say that? Shampoo is the most beautiful girl in the world!
Ranma: (bothered by the phrase) How would you know? You can't see her, anyway!
Mousse: Yes, I can!
Ranma: Then why are you shouting at that utility pole?
Mousse: Um... My anger forces me to look away from you!
Ranma: And my boredom forces me to walk away from you.
[CRUNCH!]
[Ranma and Akane walk quickly away, leaving Mousse try and get out of the
post box alone.]
Ranma: Fools like that I can do without!
Akane: There is a lot of conflict around here. If you choose to marry
someone... Anyone... A lot of it might stop.
Ranma: And a lot more might be created! I can't win either way.
Akane: You have to make a choice sometime...
Ranma: (sighs) I suppose so... But it's kind of scary...
Akane: I know...
[They fall silent and walks the rest of the way feeling nervous and
defenceless. When they arrive, they heard a great deal of conversation
within. Walking in, they see Saotome Nodoka sitting and talking with Soun
and a sweating Genma. She looks up as Ranma and Akane enter.]
Nodoka: Ranma?
Ranma: Hi... Mom...?
Nodoka: Ranma! My son!
[Nodoka gets up and hugs Ranma.]
Nodoka: I've been searching for you for so long!
Ranma: Er...um... It's good to see you...
Nodoka: Let me look at you!
[She pushes Ranma back and looks at him, her hands on his shoulders.]
Nodoka: Remarkable... You are a man!
Akane: (under her breath) Sometimes...
Nodoka: Amazing! Your father has actually managed to make a man of you!
Ranma: Yeah... I guess so... (scratches the back of his head)
Nodoka: Sit down. I want hear what you have been doing!
[Ranma and Akane reluctantly sit down.]
Ranma: There's really not much to tell... I've been training ever since you
last saw me.
Nodoka: Yes, and you were never here when I come to visit...
Ranma: (nervous) Funny coincidence that...
Nodoka: Yes... Anyway, how have you been?
Ranma: Ok. Apart from Pop's usual foul ups, things have been alright.
Nodoka: That's good to hear. Now... I want to know how you and Akane are
doing.
[Ranma and Akane face fault.]
Ranma: Er... How do you mean?
Nodoka: When are you getting married?
Ranma & Akane: NEVER!
Nodoka: (surprised) Never?
Ranma: That's right. I'm not going to marry this kawaiikune girl!
Akane: Shut up, you pervert! I won't marry you either!
Nodoka: You may not have a choice. The promise was that Ranma would marry one
of Souun's daughters. You are the one who has been chosen to be the
one for my son.
Akane: But I don't want to...
Nodoka: Why? Is my son not a man?
Akane: (sidelong glance at Ranma) Well...
Nodoka: (suspicious) Well?
Akane: He is most of the time.
[Ranma is looking terrorifed and is saying a prayer.]
Nodoka: (sternly) What do you mean, "Most of the time"?
Akane: Oh... it's nothing really. He's just kind of annoying...
Nodoka: I see...
[Ranma has the distict feeling she sees all too well.]
Ranma: Don't take any notice of her. She has no femininity, so she can't
talk!
Nodoka: Ranma! Show more respect to your fiancee!
Ranma: (subsides) Hmph!
Akane: (annoyed) Hey, Ranma. Why not tell your Ofukuro about your other fiancees?
Nodoka: (frowns) Other fiancees?
Ranma: (scowls at Akane, who sticks out her tongue) Er... Yeah... I um...
Nodoka: I think you had better tell me everything.
Ranma: (swallows) Er... Okay. It's like this... When me and Oyaji were low on
food, we met this guy. He gave us food and in return I was engaged to
his daughter. At the time, I thought she was a boy... Then Pop and I
ran away and we forgot about her. She showed up recently and wants me
to marry her... As was the agreement between Pop and her father before
Pop whelched it!
Genma: It's not my fault!
Nodoka: What is her name?
Ranma: Ukyou. She's my best friend now.
Nodoka: How did Genma manage this?
Ranma: You know Oyaji... Stupid to a fault!
Genma: Hey!
Nodoka: Ranma, you should show proper respect to your father!
Ranma: It was his fault! He engaged me to Ukyou when he knew he had already
engaged me to one of Tendou-san's daughters. This mess is his fault!
Genma: It was either that or starve!
Nodoka: Hmmm. Is there another? Akane said fiancee'S, plural.
Ranma: Er... The other is Shampoo.
Nodoka: She's called Shampoo?
Ranma: Yeah... She not really a fiancee, thought... I met her in China and
she chased me all the way back to Japan. She's totally obsessed with
me. She thinks that, according to her tribal law, because I beat her
in a fight, I have to marry her.
Nodoka: Do you want to marry her?
Ranma: (glumly) I don't want to marry anyone. (pause) Not now anyway!
Akane: Me, either!
Nodoka: I think this mess needs to be sorted out. Since this has been so badly
handled, I will mediate on the matter and make a decision.
Ranma: Hey! Don't I get a choice?
Nodoka: Certainly. Who do you wan't to marry?
Ranma: (pales) Er...(looks at Akane, who is scowling) I'm not sure...
Akane: Hah! I won't marry him even if he want's me to!
Souun: Daughter! How can you say that?! Do you want to kill your father?!
Akane: No. But I want my own choice, too!
Kasumi: Perhaps Saotome-obasama should meet each of the prospective brides?
Then she can choose the best one.
Nodoka: (nods) That's a good idea. Can we arrange that?
Ranma: (flatly) I suppose so...
Nodoka: Good. Don't tell them who I am, though. It's better if they don't
know who I am.
Ranma: Okay... Whatever...
Nodoka: That reminds me... Where is Ranko?
[Everyone face faults.]
Akane: She's not here right now... (looks at Ranma) But she could be back at
any time.
Ranma: Yeah! She..comes and goes unexpectedly.
Nodoka: Does she still dress like a boy?
Akane: (smiles evilly) Oh, yes! She's a real tomboy!
Ranma: (pulls face) Look who's talking!
Akane: (punches him) Baka!
[Ranma holds his nose and gets up.]
Ranma: I'll organise for you to meet Ukyou and Shampoo tommorow.
Nodoka: That would be good... I hope Ranko comes back. I want to get her a
nice summer dress...
[Everyone bursts out laughing, much to Nodoka's confusion.]
Nodoka: Did I say something funny?
Akane: (hastily) No, no. It's just that Ranko is rather stubborn.
Nabiki: Yeah... Like a mule!
Ranma: Hey!
Nodoka: Ranma, how do you fell about Ranko? Are you very close?
Ranma: Er... You could say that...
Nodoka: (looks calculating) I see...
Ranma: Well. I'm off to bed. 'night!
[Ranma walks out and everyone else goes about their evening chores before
hitting the hay.]
[Tendou Doujou, Morning]
[Ranma sits up in bed and groans. He looks around and then sighs, remembering
last nights events.]
Ranma: (sigh) Today is the great meeting. I guess there's no point in putting
off the inevitable.
Genma: (sits up) That's right! And once your mother has met Ukyou and Shampoo,
I have no doubt that she will tell you to marry Akane.
Ranma: Shut up, Oyaji! This whole debarcle is your doing! If you hadn't opened
your fat mouth, none of this would have happened!
Genma: Listen, boy! I have always done what is best for you! You're just too
arrogant or too stupid to see it!
Ranma: (kicks him) SHUT UP, Oyaji ! I'm sick of your speil! It's boring! Put
on another record!
[Ranma gets up and gives his father another kick and walks out. He goes down
the stairs in his usual tank top and boxer shorts. He just gets to the bottom
when Ryouga appears.]
Ryouga: Hi, Ranma. I heard you're mom is here on a visit. Has she met the
other you, yet?
Ranma: Ryouga. What do you want? A map? A compass? How about a guide?
Ryouga: Grrrr! Don't toy with me!
[Ryouga pulls a bucket of water from the nether world and throws it on Ranma.
Ranma changes forms and glares at Ryouga.]
Ranma-onna: Ryouga, why don't you do us all a favour and...GET LOST! It's
what you do best!
Ryouga: Grrrr!
[Ranma-onna kicks Ryouga in the face and then ducks under a punch. She then
scissors his legs and sits on him, smacking his head into the ground.]
Ranma-onna: Die, die, die, die, die!
Ryouga: (interspersed) No, no, no, no, no!
[At this point, Nodoka enters and sees Ranko sitting on Ryouga in her
underware.]
Nodoka: Ranko! Stop that! That is neither ladylike nor appropirate in the
hallway!
Ranma-onna: Um... Oh! Aunty Saotome! I didn't know you were here!
Nodoka: (sternly) That's no excuse for your behavior!
Ranma-onna: It's not what you're thinking... I was trying to kill him!
Nodoka: (ammused) Of course you were.
Ranma-onna: Grrrr...
Ryouga: (grinning) You may as well tell her to truth...
Nodoka: It's alright. I can see you two are having a relationship.
Ranma-onna & Ryouga: "Having a relationship"?
Nodoka: Yes. But that sort of thing should wait until marriage.
Ranma-onna & Ryouga: "Marriage"?
Nodoka: Yes. When will it be?
Ryouga: When will what be?
Nodoka: The wedding?
Ryouga: Who's wedding?
Ranma-onna: What's in your head, Ryouga? Extra lunches? What do you think
she's talking about?!
Ryouga: Huh?
Nodoka: I guess you haven't set a date... Well, I must be going. Oh! Ranko!
Have you seen Ranma today?
Ranma-onna: Er... I think he went out to see Shampoo and Ukyou.
Nodoka: Oh. Alright. Thank you.
Ranma-onna: Anytime...
[Ranma-onna starts choking Ryouga, until Ryouga grabs Ranma-onna and throws
her into the pond. Ranma-onna holds on and drags Ryouga in too. At this
moment, Akane walks into the room.]
Ranma-onna: (grabs P-chan) Hey, Akane! I found bacon breeches!
Akane: Oh! Where was he?
Ranma-onna: Taking a swim. I think he was lost.
Akane: He's not Ryouga, you know!
Ranma-onna: (thought) Hah! I know more than you do. (spoken) I guess so...
[Ranma spiral passes Ryouga to Akane and gets out of the pond. She sits down
and takes off her top to wring it out.]
Akane: Say, Ranma. Hadn't you better change back before-
Nodoka: (cuts in) Ranko! Honestly! How am I going to turn you into a lady
when you sit around with no clothes on?! One minute you're on the
floor with Ryouga and then next you're out here sunning yourself
half naked!
Akane: (finishes her last sentence) -you're mom finds you... (frowns) "On the
floor with Ryouga"?! (slaps Ranma-onna) YOU PERVERT!
[Akane storms off, leaving Ranma-onna and Nodoka to stare after her.]
Nodoka: Why was she so upset?
Ranma-onna: I think she kinda likes Ryouga...
Nodoka: It's a pity... Cousins shouldn't fight.
Ranma-onna: (flatly) I need a vacation!
[Ranma-onna gets up and puts her top on. She goes inside and gets some
clothes. She get's dressed and then walks out of the house.]
Nodoka: Where are you going, Ranko? Don't you want some breakfast?
Ranma-onna: (sighs) No. I've got some errands to run.
Nodoka: I'll see you later, then.
Ranma-onna: (under breath) Yeah... Much later.
Nodoka: What was that?
Ranma-onna: Er... I said, "Yes, a little later"
Nodoka: Hurry back. I need your help with my conference.
Ranma-onna: Okay!
[Ranma-onna runs out of the garden and down the street.]
[The Nekohanten, A Little Later]
[Ranma-onna walks in and looks around. Mousse is polishing tables. With a bit
of stealth, she is able to bypass him without him noticing. Ranma-onna walks
into the kitchen and finds Shampoo cooking. Ranma-onna stops right behind
her.]
Ranma-onna: (cheerfully) HI, SHAMPOO!
Shampoo: (shocked) AIYA! (jumps straight up like a cat)
Ranma-onna: Kinda skittish, aren't we?
Shampoo: Is mean joke Ranma! You no should treat wife that way!
Ranma-onna: Speaking of which... My mom's here and she want to meet all of my
perspective wives and... Oops...
Shampoo: Oops?
Ranma-onna: I wasn't supposed to tell you that...
Shampoo: Tell me what?
Ranma-onna: About my Mom!
Shampoo: What about her?
Ranma-onna: (with great restraint) She want's to meet you!
Shampoo: Aiya! Meet mother-in-law! I so happy!
Ranma-onna: It's not... Oh, well... Whatever... Look... Come around at eleven
o'clock, okay?
Shampoo: (nods) I be there!
Ranma-onna: Good. I'll see you then. Bye!
[Ranma-onna runs out before Shampoo can glom onto her and before Mousse can
attack her. She moves quickly through the streets of Nerima until she
reaches...]
[Ucchan's, A Little Later]
[Ranma-onna walks in and goes into the kitchen and finds Ukyou, sitting,
watching TV.]
Ukyou: Ran-chan! You're here! I'm so happy.
Ranma-onna: Don't be. I am the bringer of bad news.
Ukyou: Oh?
Ranma-onna: My mom wants to meet all my prospective brides... That includes
you...
Ukyou: I'd like to meet her. What is all this about, anyway?
Ranma-onna: She's going to evaluate you all and then choose the one she
thinks is right for me.
Ukyou: Don't you get a choice?
Ranma-onna: Not much. Live or die seems to be about it.
Ukyou: That's not fair!
Ranma-onna: Tell that to my mom!
Ukyou: I might just do that.
Ranma-onna: (panicked) No! Don't!
Ukyou: Why not?
Ranma-onna: You don't know my mom!
Ukyou: Neither do you, you haven't seen her since you were five!
Ranma-onna: Umm... well... That's true... Anyway, be at the Tendou place at
eleven thirty.
Ukyou: Okay! I'll see you then.
[Ranma-onna nods and runs out of the restraunt. She moves quickly towards the
doujou until she is intercepted by...]
Kunou: My goddess in pigtails! I love you! Come to my arms!
[He tries to hug her. Ranma ducks and trips him.]
Ranma-onna: (cute) Oh, sempai! I'm sorry! I didn't know it was you! I can't
stop now, I'm in a hurry!
Kunou: Allow me to carry you to your destination, my darling!
Ranam-chan: (thought) That'd really confuse, Mom. (spoken) Alright, sempai!
[Kunou grabs her up in his arms.]
Kunou: Where to, my love?
Ranma-onna: The Tendou house.
Kunou: I can see Tendou Akane while I am there! (Whistfully) Ah... Akane...
So strong, so beautiful...
Ranma-onna: (baps him on the head) Hey! Keep to the subject at hand!
Kunou: Of course, my dear. I was just speculating...
Ranma-onna: (rolls her eyes) Hurry up!
Kunou: Your wish is my command!
[Kunou moves off and arrives shortly after at the prescribed location. Just
as Nodoka is sweeping the porch.]
Ranma-onna: (getting down) Thank you, Sempai!
Kunou: It is my pleasure to be of service! Here! (hands her a bouquet of red
roses) A gift for flower of my life!
Ranma-onna: Er... Thanks...
Kunou: I must be on my way. I- Umph!
[Kunou stops talking as he walks into a pole and knocks himself out.]
Ranma-onna: (thought) What a fool! The way they throw roses around, the
Kunou's must have stock in a flower company!
Nodoka: Ranko, who was that?
Ranma-onna: Hm? Oh, that was Kunou-sempai.
Nodoka: What are you doing with him?
Ranma-onna: Nothing. He's just a fool.
[Ranma-onna goes into the house while Nodoka sweeps. She goes into the
kitchen and finds Kasumi there.]
Kasumi: Hot water?
Ranma-onna: Yes, quickly, please!
Kasumi: Lucky I always have some simmering...
[Kasumi hands the kettle to Ranma-onna, who pours it on herself. The usual
change takes place and Ranma-otoko hands the kettle back to Kasumi.]
Ranma: Thanks, Kasumi.
Kasumi: Anytime.
[Ranma walks out onto the porch, where Nodoka is just finishing.]
Nodoka: Ranma! When did you get back? I didn't see you.
Ranma: I jumped the fence... It's quicker.
Nodoka: It's not very polite.
Ranma: Neither am I... Oh, yeah! I kinda botched that message thing. I guess
screwing up simple things runs in the family.
Nodoka: (annoyed) Ranma!
Ranma: Okay, okay!
Nodoka: How did you mess it up?
Ranma: I sort of accidently told Shampoo who you were. Then when I told Ukyou,
it seemed unfair for Shampoo to know and not her... so I told her too.
Nodoka: You are a foolish boy! But you are a fair and just one.
Ranma: Thanks... I think...
[Ranma is starting to walk away.]
Nodoka: Have you seen Ranko?
Ranma: Er... No...
Nodoka: Oh, well. Can you tell Akane that I'll see her at ten thirty?
Ranma: Okay.
Nodoka: And see if you can round up, Ranko. I think need to have a little
talk with her.
Ranma: (swallows) Okay.
Nodoka: Oh! And I want to talk to you after I see the girls... I don't think
you should listen to them. It will only make then nervous.
Ranma: Oh. Okay. I'll go out then.
[Ranma walks off and gets a bucket of cold water and pours it on himself.]
Ranma-onna: The way things are, it'll be easier if I stay like this for while.
[Ranma-onna walks up to Akane's room and knocks on the door. After a moment,
Akane opens it.]
Akane: (flatly) Oh. It's you.
Ranma-onna: Nice to see you, too.
Akane: What do you want?
Ranma-onna: My mom want's to see you at ten thirty.
Akane: Oh. Okay. What for?
Ranma-onna: (dramtically) For the great interrogation!
Akane: Baka!
Ranma-onna: Funny coming from you! Nyyyaaah! (pulls face)
Akane: (punches her) Moron!
Ranma-onna: Oooooeerrrrr...
[Akane slams the door shut and Ranma-onna walks off. She sits down on the
couch and turns on the TV. At this point, Nodoka enters.]
Nodoka: Ranko! How did you get in here? I didn't hear you come in!
Ranma-onna: Oh, I probably jumped the fence. I do that a lot.
Nodoka: Ladies don't leap over walls!
Ranma-onna: No. But martial artists do!
Nodoka: I'm surprised Ryouga puts up with that behavior!
Ranma-onna: (fuming, cups hands around mouth) I AM NOT MARRYING RYOUGA!
Nodoka: Did you change your mind?
Ranma-onna: (slumps) Never mind...
Nodoka: Let's sit down and have a "chat".
Ranma-onna: (with the calmness of the damned) Okay.
[They sit on the couch and Ranma-onna turns the TV off.]
Ranma-onna: What do you want to talk about? How about baseball. I love
baseball. If were a guy, I'd be on the school team!
Nodoka: That's not quite what I meant...
Ranma-onna: (depressed) Oh...
Nodoka: I want to know about YOUR relationship with Ranma...
Ranma-onna: Um...
Nodoka: You can tell me the truth.
Ranma-onna: (swallows) Well... He and I are... VERY close...
Nodoka: How close?
Ranma-onna: Like brother and sister.
Nodoka: Not a lover?
Ranma-onna: (acks) No way! We're like family!
Nodoka: (nods) I see. What about Ranma and Akane? How do they get along?
Ranma-onna: (shrugs) Okay, I guess... They fight a lot...
Nodoka: What about?
Ranma-onna: Mostly Akane's cooking. It's still lethal.
Nodoka: I see. What do you think of Ukyou and Shampoo.
Ranma-onna: Ukyou is nice. She's a good friend. Shampoo is a bit crazy,
though. She tried to kill me at one stage.
Nodoka: Oh dear!
Ranma-onna: Why all the questions?
Nodoka: I just wanted a picture of the situation. From an observer...
Ranma-onna: Oh, okay. Is that it?
Nodoka: No. Now I want to discuss you're behavior...
Ranma-onna: (mutters) Here we go...
Nodoka: Just today I have seen you on the floor with Ryouga, undressed in the
garden and being piggybacked by a samurai. What am I supposed to
think? You're a nice girl. Why do you have to act in this tomboy way?
Ranma-onna: Um...
Nodoka: Do you have any reason? No. You are very pretty. You would look very
nice in a dress, instead of those boys clothes!
Ranma-onna: (jumps up, angry) I'll dress how I like!
Nodoka: Of course. It was just a suggestion.
Ranma-onna: NO, thanks! I'll see you later!
[Ranma-onna storms angrilly out of the room and goes up on the roof to sulk.
Time passes. It is soon time for Akane's meeting. Ranma-onna sighs and goes
down to the dining room. Akane and Nodoka are waiting.]
Nodoka: I'm glad you're here, Ranko. I'm sorry about before.
Ranma-onna: That's okay. I know you meant well.
Nodoka: Alright... Let's begin...
[Ranma-onna and Nodoka look over at Akane, who is sitting opposite them,
looking very nervous. Ranma-onna gives her a secretive smile. Akane sees it
and calms a little.]
Nodoka: So... Akane. Tell me about Ranma.
Akane: H-how do you mean?
Nodoka: How do you feel about him? What is he like?
Akane: Oh... Um... (looks at Ranma-onna)
Nodoka: It's alright. Whatever you say stays here. Right, Ranko?!
Ranma-onna: Oh...yeah... Sure...
Akane: Great...
Nodoka: Go on. I want to know how you feel about my son.
Akane: (very nervous) O-okay... Ranma is okay I guess. He's rather arrogant...
Ranma-onna: Hey!
Nodoka: Ranko!
Ranma-onna: Sorry.
Nodoka: Go on, Akane.
Akane: (nods) Um... He can be arrogant, I guess... (Ranma-onna frowns) But he
can be because he's so good at martial arts. (Ranma-onna looks
surprised) He's alright most of the time, but he can be really rude
sometimes... Especially when I cook for him.
Ranma-onna: That's 'cause your cooking is poisonous!
Nodoka: Ranko! Behave!
Ranma-onna: (subsides) Sorry...
Nodoka: Now, Akane. The next question is very hard... But I'd like you to
answer as honestly as you can... Do you love my son?
Akane: (face faults) I... I... I'm not... (looks at Ranma-onna for a moment)
I... I guess I...
Nodoka: Akane?
Akane: (takes a deep breath) I...do...
[Ranma-onna face faults and falls over, while Akane turns bright red.]
Nodoka: (nods) I thought so... I wanted to hear you say it, though.
Akane: (fidgets nervously) Um...
Nodoka: You can go if you want.
Akane: Okay.
[Akane gets up and, with a nervous glance at the comatose Ranma-onna, walks
out.]
Nodoka: So, Ranko... What do you think?
Ranma-onna: (sits up) Huh?
Nodoka: Did you think Akane was telling the truth?
Ranma-onna: Of course!
Nodoka: I meant... Was she being true to her feelings? You know her better
than I do.
Ranma-onna: Um... Well... I think she was saying what she felt. Why would she
lie?
Nodoka: Because she was worried about talking to me.
Ranma-onna: I don't think so. Akane is pretty strong willed. She doesn't get
scared easily.
Nodoka: Indeed... Ukyou should be here soon... Hmmmm... Where is Ranma?
Ranma-onna: He went out while his (sarcastically) fiancees (normal) are here.
Nodoka: Is that a hint of jealousy I hear? Do you like Ranma, too?
Ranma-onna: (face faults) No! I just think this whole fiancee and marriage
thing is stupid... And unfair to everyone!
Nodoka: (laughs) You'll understand when you find the right man.
Ranma-onna: (looks bemused) ...
Nodoka: Tell me about Ukyou.
Ranma-onna: She's a master of Okonomiyaki Cooking Martial Arts and she's a
really good chef.
Nodoka: Unlike Akane.
Ranma-onna: (sheepishly) Yeah... Ukyou's really nice and loves Ranma a lot.
She's really devoted to him... Too devoted... She deserve someone
better.
Nodoka: She must feel very strongly for him.
Ranma-onna: There's an understatement!
[At this point, Ukyou knocks and waits at the door. Nodoka gets up and walks
to the door.]
Nodoka: Come in, Ukyou.
Ukyou: Thank you.
[Nodoka and Ukyou walk in and sit down. Ukyou is wearing her best dress and
has obvoiusly gone out of her way to look her best. Ukyou looks over at
Ranma-chan.]
Ukyou: Hi, Ran-chan.
Ranma-onna: Hi, Ucchan.
Nodoka: Ran-chan? Ucchan?
Ukyou: Those are our pet names. It's what Ranma calls me and what I call him.
Nodoka: Then why did you call Ranko that?
Ukyou: (acks) Um... Well... She's a RAN-chan, too. It's just a habit...
Nodoka: I see...
Ukyou: (smiles) It's nice to meet you. I've often wondered what Ran-chan's
mother was like, since he is such a good man.
Nodoka: I'm glad to hear that. Akane wasn't quite so fullsome in her praise.
Ukyou: Oh?!
Nodoka: It's alright. Now... Tell me about this business with Genma and your
father.
Ukyou: Okay. It was when Ran-chan and I were about five years old... Ran-chan
and his dad showed up in our village and begged for food. My dad agreed
to feed them if Ran-chan would marry me. Mr. Saotome agreed and ate
everything in sight. He and Ran-chan stayed around for a while and we
became good friends. All that time, Ran-chan didn't realize that I was
a girl. Anyway, after a while, Mr. Saotome took off with Ran-chan,
leaving mebehind. I was totally embarresed. No one else would set up
an engagement and I was ridiculed for being "jilted".
Nodoka: Hmmm. What my husband did was very dishonourble. You may rest assured
that he will be made accountable for his actions.
Ukyou: Good.
Nodoka: Now... How do you feel about Ranma?
Ukyou: (animatedly) I love Ran-chan. He's the most important person in the
world to me.
Nodoka: Why do you love him? I don't really know my own son...
Ukyou: I love Ran-chan because he's good and kind and brave and honest and
loyal. He's all the things a man should be. (Ranma-onna turns red)
Nodoka: You are obviously very attached to him.
Ukyou: (with feeling) I love him more than anything...
Nodoka: What would you do if Ranma marries one of the other girls?
Ukyou: I... I don't... know... I wouldn't want to think about it!
Nodoka: No, of course you don't. Well... I think you can go now.
[Ukyou gets up and walks to the door.]
Ukyou: Have you decided yet?
Nodoka: I won't consider my position until I've seen all of the fiancees.
[Ukyou glances at Ranma-onna and then walks out.]
Nodoka: Now, Ranko. Give me a little insight into Shampoo, if you could...
Ranma-onna: (sighs) Shampoo... What can I say...? Does the word 'homicidal'
cover it?
Nodoka: I think you should elaborate more...
Ranma-onna: Well, she's from China as you know. She's from an ancient tribe
called the Joketsuzoku. They're sort of like amazons. She's
obscessed with this crummy law that forces a girl to marry a man
if he beats her in a fight. Ranma beat her accidently and she
chased him all the way from China to here to marry him.
Nodoka: So, is she only obeying the law or is she...
Ranma-onna: Oh, she's in love with Ranma, alright! She's obscessed with him!
Nodoka: So, she's a little fanatical about it?
Ranma-onna: Yeah! And Mousse doesn't help either...
Nodoka: Mousse?
Ranma-onna: He's this guy from her village. He's in love with her, but because
he can't beat her in a fight, she won't have anything to do with
him. He's also nearly blind!
Nodoka: How sad. It's a pity she can't be happy with him.
Ranma-onna: That can't happen unless Ranma marries someone else and he can,
by some miracle, beat her.
Nodoka: Maybe Ranma should train him so that he can beat her?
Ranma-onna: (interest piqued) That's not a bad idea!
Nodoka: (looks at clock) Hmmm... Shampoo should be here soon...
[A few moments later, Shampoo crashes through the wall. She is wearing her
best outfit as well and has also tried hard to impress.]
Shampoo: Nihao!
Nodoka: Ah. You must be Shampoo.
Shampoo: (nods) Yes. I Shampoo. Ranma's bride.
Nodoka: We'll see...
Shampoo: You Ranma mother?
Nodoka: (nods) Yes, I am.
Shampoo: (hugs Nodoka) Aiya! I so happy to meet mother-in-law!
Nodoka: (detaches Shampoo) Let's sit down and talk about it, shall we?
[Shampoo sits down right next to Ranma-onna, snuggling close. Ranma-onna
elbows her away. Nodoka notices this and frowns.]
Nodoka: Shampoo... Tell me about your village and this law of yours.
Shampoo: Okay. I from Joketsuzoku in China. Is village of amazons. Village
women very strong fighters. Our village in mountains in southern
China. Near Jusenkyou Springs. Our law say that if outsider beats
woman in combat and he is man, he must marry woman. If outsider
is woman, she must be given Kiss of Death and killed ASAP.
Nodoka: So you lost to Ranma and now you have to marry him?
Shampoo: (nods) That right. At first I try to kill, but Ranma much to good.
Nodoka: Could you find someone else to beat you? Like... (looks at Ranma-onna)
Ranma-onna: Mousse.
Shampoo: Aiya! Shampoo no want to marry Mousse! He no can beat me! Even if
other man beat Shampoo, he may not be good and kind like Ranma...
(rubs against Ranma-onna)
Ranma-onna: Shampoo! (Shampoo stops)
Nodoka: Alright, Shampoo. Tell me why you love Ranma.
Shampoo: (smiles widely) Shampoo love Ranma because he kind and loyal and
honorable. He is strongest fighter Shampoo ever meet. He right
kind of man for Shampoo.
Nodoka: You seem to feel very strongly towards Ranma.
Shampoo: Shampoo love Ranma!
Nodoka: Yes. But is it real love, or duty? Do you feel compelled to follow
you're tribal law?
Shampoo: Law is very important, but Shampoo choose to have Ranma. When I come
here, I not know Ranma. (with microphone) As I get to know him, I
find he is man of my dreams... (whistful look)
Nodoka: It's good that you can differentiate love from duty.
Shampoo: Shampoo not worry about law too much. Is good reason for marriage,
though...
Nodoka: I'm not so sure...
Ranma-onna: I don't think it's really negotiable.
Nodoka: Indeed. Well, Shampoo, you can go now. I need to talk to Ranko for a
bit.
Shampoo: Ranko? But that's R-
Ranma-onna: Shampoo!
Nodoka: What was that?
Ranma-onna & Shampoo: Nothing!
[Shampoo gets up and walks out.]
Shampoo: Bai, Ranma.
[As soon as Shampoo leaves Nodoka asks Ranma-onna a bizarre question.]
Nodoka: What is Shampoo's... (waves hand)
Ranma-onna: If you're asking me if her bread is buttered on both sides... I'd
say...yes.
Nodoka: I see...
Ranma-onna: (glumly) I wish I did...
Nodoka: What's wrong, Ranko?
Ranma-onna: It's just unfair that, no matter what, two of them are going to
be really sad when Ranma chooses one.
Nodoka: True. But he will not do any of them justice by leaving them all in
the lurch.
Ranma-onna: (troubled) I guess you're right. It's so hard seeing all this
trouble and not being able to do anything about it...
Nodoka: Only Ranma can resolve this conflict. He must make a choice... I hope
he will take my advice.
Ranma-onna: What is you're advice going to be?
Nodoka: I will tell Ranma first. That is more appropriate, I think.
[Ranma-onna gets up.]
Ranma-onna: I'd better get moving. I've got things to do.
Nodoka: I'll see you later, then?
Ranma-onna: (nods) Okay. Bye!
[Ranma-onna runs out and goes into the kitchen. Kasumi is there.]
Ranma-onna: (frantic) Kasumi! Water! Quick!
Kasumi: (serenely) Of course. Here.
[Kasumi hands a kettle to Ranma-onna, who pours it on herself. Ranma-kun hands
the kettle back.]
Ranma: Thanks, Kasumi.
Kasumi: Anytime.
[Ranma walks out of the kitchen and out into the garden. He sits down under a
tree and closes his eyes.]
Ranma: (thought) I never knew they all loved me so much... Sure...it's nice
having them all after me... But it's not really fair. I can't keep
doing this to them... Still... How do I choose? They've all got good
and bad features. Akane is a bad cook, but a good and honest person.
She's kinda cute, too. Ucchan is beautiful, but she doesn't make feel
electric like Akane does... On the other hand, that could be
frustration... Shampoo... Psychos R US! She's gorgeous, but she's too
crazy for me!
[Ranma sits under the tree for a long time. He doesn't notice Akane looking
at him from her window.]
Akane: (thought) Ranma... Who will you choose? Me? Ukyou? Shampoo?! I hope
you choose me. I've gotten so used to the idea of being you're fiancee.
I couldn't imagine not being with you... I won't imagine it!
[Nerima Street, At the Same Time]
[Ukyou is walking home, looking a little sad.]
Ukyou: (thought) I hope Ran-chan's mother likes me. If she tells Ranma to
marry me... he will. But... What if she tells him to marry Akane? She
will probably try to make sure Ran-chan keeps the promise to Mr.
Tendou. Still... He could theoretically even marry Shampoo! Poor
Ran-chan... It must be so hard for him. He won't want to hurt any of
us... I hope he picks me... (firmly) I'm the best one for him.
[Nerima Street, At The Same Time]
[Shampoo is walking home, looking cheerful.]
Shampoo: (thought) It's a shoe in. Ranma's mother will see that I am the best
for him. I'm strong. I cook well. I'm not a klutz. I'm everything
that Akane isn't. Even Ukyou will not able to take him from me!
(Shampoo laughs evilly! (go figure!)) Ranma is mine for sure!
[Tendou Doujou, A Little Later]
[Nodoka is sitting at the conference table. She appears to be in deep
thought.]
Nodoka: (thought) Each of these girls have admirable features... They
certainly all love Ranma very sincerly. It is difficult. The promise
to Souun still stands... and yet there was a promise to Ukyou's
father. It was later, but much less vague... Genma, you fool!
[On the porch, Genma sneezes and knocks over the shogi board.]
Souun: Saotome-kun! That wasn't fair. I was winning!
Genma: Sorry, Tendou-kun, those are the breaks!
[Back inside. Nodoka continues to muse.]
Nodoka: (thought) Each girl is very pretty in her own way. That is not a
matter. The question is, which one will best suit Ranma in the long
term? It is very hard. I don't know my son well enough. I think I
will go and talk to him...
[Nodoka walks into the kitchen and sees Kasumi.]
Nodoka: Kasumi. Have you seen Ranma lately?
Kasumi (turns) I think he went outside. He seemed a little down.
Nodoka: I shall find him.
[Nodoka walks out. She walks past Genma and Souun, who are arguing about the
game. She moves out into the garden and soon finds Ranma still sitting under
the tree.]
Nodoka: Can I sit down?
Ranma: Huh?! Oh. Ofukuro. Sure.
[Nodoka sits down facing Ranma.]
Nodoka: I have spoken to all of your fiancees and have been considering which
one is most suited to you.
Ranma: (swallows) And?
Nodoka: And I decided that I needed to talk to you some more. I still don't
really know you.
Ranma: Ofukuro... you know me...
Nodoka: (shakes her head) No. I don't. All I know is that you are a handsome
young man with three girls who are very much in love with him and you
posses great martial arts skill.
Ranma: That's about the size of it.
Nodoka: I want to know what you do for fun. What you do when you're sad. What
you do when you're angry. I want to know what sort of person you are.
Ranma: Well... I...
Nodoka: Just tell me about you...
Ranma: Well I usually don't have time for much fun. I'm either training,
fighting or going to school. I don't get sad... much. When I do, I
usually go for a jog.
Nodoka: What usually upsets you?
Ranma: Fighting with Akane. I don't mean to upset her... but she takes
everything the wrong way and gets mad too easily.
Nodoka: What about when you're angry?
Ranma: I fight.
Nodoka: Who?
Ranma: Whoever is stupid enough to make me mad!
Nodoka: This hones your skills?
Ranma: Not really, they're mostly fools around here.
Nodoka: A true warrior does not fight the weak.
Ranma: Tell that to Kunou and Ryouga and Mousse. They're rather persistant.
Nodoka: About Ryouga...
Ranma: (shrugs) What about him?
Nodoka: What is his relationship with Ranko?
Ranma: (acks) Um... Well... Ryouga doesn't have relationship with Ranko...
but he's kinda sweet on Akane.
Nodoka: Really? Well. I am surprised after this mornings display!
Ranma: Yeah, things are a bit of a romantic mess around here. Akane loves me.
Ukyou loves me. Shampoo loves me. Mousse loves Shampoo. Ryouga loves
Akane. It's a disaster area.
Nodoka: Yes. It's seems there are many unresolved matters that are causing
trouble.
Ranma: (nervous) Yeah... Trouble...
Nodoka: Is something wrong?
Ranma: (looks sad) Yes. But I can't tell you.
Nodoka: (hurt) Why not?
Ranma: If I told you, you'd have to kill me.
Nodoka: Does this relate to your manhood?
Ranma: (nods) Sort of...
Nodoka: It can't be that bad. If you had a real unmamly problem, your
fiancees wouldn't be so in love with you!
Ranma: They don't seem to care about it much.
Nodoka: Exactly. Now... Why don't you tell me?
Ranma: I like being alive!
Nodoka: Alright. I want to know what it is. I promise that if this is a
cause for you to commit seppuku. I will give you one day's head
start.
Ranma: (stunned) Huh?
Nodoka: The truth will set you free...
Ranma: (sighs) Okay. It happened in China. Pop and I were at this training
ground called Jusenkyou...
Nodoka: Near Shampoo's village?
Ranma: Yeah, not too far. Anyway, the Jusenkyou springs are this set of 100
cursed pools-
[Nodoka cuts him off.]
Nodoka: -Each with it's own individual curse. It is said that he who falls
into the spring will take the form of the...person...or...creature...
that...fell..into..the..spring..hundreds..of..years..ago...
You fell into one of the springs of Jusenkyou?
Ranma: I guess you've heard of it, huh?
Nodoka: (nods) Yes. Why did your father take you there? He was supposed to
look after you!
Ranma: (annoyed) 'Cause Oyaji's a fool! He couldn't read the guide book. He
saw that it was about training grounds, but he didn't know it was
cursed... Until it was too late...
Nodoka: What spring did you fall into?
Ranma: I may as well show you... Um... Is this going to cause you to kill me?
Nodoka: No. A foul up of this magnitude is your fathers fault. Now let me see
the curse before I change my mind!
Ranma: The curse is activated by cold water and is reversed by hot water.
Nodoka: I see. So in order to bring about the chance, you have to get wet?
Ranma: (nods) Yes...
[Ranma walks over to the edge of the pond. Nodoka comes over and stands next
to him.]
Nodoka: What is the curse?
[Ranma sighs and jumps into the pond. He changes and then turns to face
Nodoka, who is wearing a shocked expression.]
Ranma-onna: Nyanniichuan. I fell into the spring of drowned girl.
Nodoka: My son... You're... (recognises herand frowns) Ranko?!
Ranma-onna: Yes. I was hiding from you. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you so
badly, but dad wouldn't let me. He thought you'd kill us.
Nodoka: I am still thinking of killing Genma. He has made a mockery of our
family and has acted dishonourably on too many occasions.
Ranma-onna: Don't be too hard on him, Ofukuro. It's not his fault he's stupid!
Nodoka: Ranma! Show more respect. He may be a fool, but he is still your
father. Now. Tell me why you pretended to be Ranko... and why you
have been carrying on with boys!
Ranma-onna: Oh! That? I sometimes use them to do things for me. As for Ryouga
this morning, that was me beating him up.
Nodoka: Why were you fighting?
Ranma-onna: He's mad because I knocked him into a Jusenkyou spring.
Nodoka: Which spring?
Ranma-onna: I can't tell you. I promised.
Nodoka: Then you must keep your promise. Still... I guess it explains why
Ranko dressed and behaved like a boy...
Ranma-onna: I feel really bad... But I didn't know what to say. The more I
pretended to be Ranko, the deeper I got into trouble...
Nodoka: It's alright. Accidents happen. With your father, they just seem
to happen more often.
Ranma-onna: I think I'll go change back...
Nodoka: Then come back... I've got a few more questions.
Ranma-onna: Okay.
[Ranma-onna walks into the house and emerges a minute later in male form.]
Ranma: Okay... Ask away.
Nodoka: You are going to have to choose one of the girls to marry... That
much I have decided. Which one do you want?
Ranma: I don't know! I've never really had a chance to find out how I feel
about them... And anyway... Why do I have to marry anyone?
Nodoka: You want to be real man, don't you?
Ranma: Of course!
Nodoka: A real man has responsibility... Marriage will give you the
responsibilty you need. Besides, our family honor must be protected.
By fulilling one of the promises, you can annull the others.
Ranma: (flatly) Great...
Nodoka: You will need to discover your feelings soon. In this matter, time is
of the essence. If you do not choose within one week, I will choose
for you!
Ranma: Ack! Ofukuro, listen...um...I... Never mind...
[Ranma walks away and leaps onto the roof. Nodoka watches him go.]
Nodoka: (to herself) Good. Putting him on the spot might result in some
action. I'm not going to let him dither forever! He's procrastinated
about this decision for long enough...
[Tendou Doujou, Afternoon]
[Ranma is sitting on the roof and fidgeting.]
Ranma: (thought) Argh! What am I going to do? If I don't choose one of them
myself... Ofukuro's going to! Still at least that way it wouldn't be
my fault! Arrrr! This sucks!
[Ranma sits and fumes for a while and fails to notice Kodachi's appearance
next to him.]
Kodachi: Ranma-sama... You looked troubled... What is the problem?
Ranma: (not paying attention) Oh... I've got to choose someone to marry or my
ofukuro is going to choose for me! It's really bad. If I choose Akane,
Shampoo and Ukyou will be upset. If I choose Ukyou, Akane and Shampoo
will be upset... and so on...
Kodachi: Marry me! That way they can all be sad together! Hohohohohoho!
Ranma: Huh?! (notices it's Kodachi) Kodachi?! Where'd you come from?!
Kodachi: I have come to take you away from this confusion with my love!
[She gloms onto him.]
Kodachi: (sighs) Let us go far from here! We can be free to love each other!
Ranma: Hey! Leggo o me!
[At this moment, Akane comes up onto the roof and sees Ranma and Kodachi
grappling. She mistakes this for the throws of passion and goes beserk.]
Akane: RANMA! YOU PERVERT!!
Ranma: (stops fighting Kodachi) Huh?
Kodachi: Ah! The little shrew!
[Akane rushes over and punts Kodachi away, then does the downtown stomp on
Ranma.]
Akane: Ranma, how could you?!
Ranma: (battered) I didn't. She snuck up on me!
Akane: (unimpressed) No one sneaks up on you, Ranma!
Ranma: Sure they do. I'm not pychic!
Akane: No. Just psycho!
Ranma: Funny coming from the girl who just beat me up for something I didn't
do!
Akane: But you were...
Ranma: Do you really think I'd be messing with Kodachi? You know how I feel
about her!
Akane: Well... I'm not sure...
Ranma: Abject terror. Kodachi is a scary lunatic! I can't stand her!
Akane: Then why...
Ranma: Because I didn't want to hit her. She may be a nutter, but she's still
a girl!
Akane: I guess so... Why were you up here, anyway?
Ranma: (sighs) I'm in it really deep now. My mom told me that if I don't
choose a bride in the next week... She'll choose for me!
Akane: Oh!
Ranma: Tell me about it!
Akane: What will you do? Have you decided?
Ranma: No. At the moment I'm trying to figure out a way of not deciding!
Akane: (annoyed) I don't know about the others... but I'm getting tired of
wondering. You should make a decision... One way or the other!
Ranma: Easy for you to say! You don't have to do anything!
Akane: Yes, I do! I've been you're fiancee for a long time! You think that's
been easy? It hasn't! You think I won't be upset if you choose one of
the others?! Of course I will! I've gotten used to being with you! How
do you think I'll feel?!
Ranma: Akane... I...
Akane: I know, Ranma... You haven't decided... Neither have I...
[Akane gets up and walks away, leaving Ranma even more confused than before.]
Ranma: (thought) There must be a way to choose... Hmmm... A contest is out...
Toma's was a farce! I don't really know any of them well enough... I
need to find out how I feel. How can I do it without bloodshed?
[Ryouga leaps up onto the roof and walks over to Ranma.]
Ryouga: Ranma. This madness must stop! You should marry Ukyou. Then I can
marry Akane and Mousse can marry Shampoo and we can all be happy!
Ranma: Buzz off, Ryouga. I've got other bacon to fry!
Ryouga: I'm serious here! This is best solution!
Ranma: Ryouga, I might marry Akane just to piss you off! Now get lost before
I propose to her and do something we'll both regret!
Ryouga: You wouldn't dare!
Ranma: (pulls ring box out of pocket) I just happen to have an engagement
ring here...I wonder where she is...
Ryouga: (panicking) Okay! Okay! I'll go! But... I'll be back.
Ranma: Yeah... When you can find the place!
[Ryouga storms off and Ranma gets up. He goes back into the house and walks
into the kitchen. Kasumi and Nabiki are there.]
Nabiki: Hi, Ranma-kun, what's up?
Ramna: I just got an ultimatum from Ofukuro. Choose a bride or have one chosen
for me.
Nabiki: Hmmm... There's a bet in that! (runs off muttering) Now... What odds
to set...
Ranma: (to Kasumi) Kasumi... Do you have any advice?
Kasumi: I think you have an important decision to make. It must be your own.
Ranma: That's what she said!
Kasumi: (frowns) Who? I don't like giving second hand advice.
Ranma: The other me. I saw her in a dream... She told me that an important
decision was coming and that I had to make the right choice.
Kasumi: It seems she was right. If you want to decide who to marry... I
suggest you spend some time with each of them... You've never really
been alone with them, have you?
Ranma: I can count the number of times I've been alone myself on one hand!
Kasumi: I guess I could run a little interference...
Ranma: Huh?
Kasumi: If I can keep everyone else out of your hair for a while... You can
spend some time with your fiancees.
Ranma: Hmm... What's the price?
Kasumi: You overlook a few of Akane's little flaws.
Ranma: (grudginly) I guess so... You're a tough negotiator, Kasumi!
Kasumi: Someone has to be able to outbluff Nabiki.
Ranma: (laughs) Yeah... I guess so...
Kasumi: Who will you see first?
Ranma: Ukyou. I'll see Akane last. Don't tell her about this, though... She
might go mad enough to hit even you!
Kasumi: Alright. Tommorow night, I'll distract everone else, you can go out
with Ukyou.
Ranma: Okay. This plan is so crazy, it might work!
[Ranma runs out feeling much more cheerful.]
Kasumi: I guess I'd better invite everyone over for dinner...
Nodoka: (who has just walked in) Yes. I will help you.
Kasumi: Oh! Saotome-obasama!
Nodoka: Please... Call me Nodoka. If we're going to be partners in crime, we
should be informal.
Kasumi: Yes. That's true.
Nodoka: I am surprised. My son has overcome a great deal and maintained his
integrity.
Kasumi: Yes. He is a good young man. He is right for my sister. He might just
be able to tame her!
Nodoka: Akane is a little spirited...
Kasumi: (matter-of-factly) She's really rather feral, acctually.
Nodoka: She suits my son. They are yin and yang.
Kasumi: They are... Do you think he will choose her?
Nodoka: He will if I have anything to say about it!
Kasumi: That's good. We've been trying for so long to get them together...
They're so stubborn though...
Nodoka: Yes. Now... We'd better plan out diversion...
[Ranma is walking along the street to Ucchan's. He arrives and knocks on the
door. It is opened a moment later by Ukyou.]
Ukyou: Ran-chan?! What are you doing here?
Ranma: (looks around, then grabs her arm and drags her into the darkened
shop) I want to ask you a question...
Ukyou: Okay. Shoot.
Ranma: (has another look around) Would you go out with me? I need to find
out how I feel.
Ukyou: Of course, Ran-chan! I'd love to! When?
Ranma: Tommorow night. I'll meet you here at seven pm.
Ukyou: Okay.
Ranma: Oh...yeah... Don't tell ANYONE!
Ukyou: Okay. Bye!
[Ranma waves and then walks away. As he walks, he thinks to himself.]
Ranma: (thought) I hope Kasumi's little plan works... If I can get a little
time alone with them... I might be able to make a choice without
feeling guilty...
[Ranma is not paying much attention to his route and walks past the
Nekohanten. Mousse leaps out and stands in front of him, baring his way.]
Mousse: Saotome. You cannot marry Shampoo! She is mine!
Ranma: I haven't said I was going to! You're jumping the gun a bit!
Mousse: Oh... Well... Good! Don't think about it!
Ranma: Why don't you worry about beating Shampoo? She's too tough for you at
the moment. Even if I don't marry her... You won't be able to beat her!
Mousse: I will fight until I win or die!
Ranma: What? Of old age? Women live longer, you know!
Mousse: Don't taunt me!
Ranma: I wasn't. It was just an observation...
[Ranma walks past Mousse.]
Ranma: Gotta go. You're making me late.
[Ranma punches a utility pole as he goes past Mousse. Mousse turns to look at
Ranma.]
Mousse: Don't walk away from-
[He is cut off as the pole lands on his head. Ranma turns.]
Ranma: You're nothing if not predictable, Mousse. (does victory sign)
[Ranma runs off and soon arrives back at the dojo. He walks in to find Kasumi
on the phone. His mother is in the kitchen, cooking. Soun and Genma are still
playing Shogi and Akane is watching TV while Nabiki draws up a betting chart.]
Nabiki: (to herself) Let's see... If 500 is bet... I get... (taps caclulator
buttons) That much?! (smiles) Rich! I'll be rich! Hahahahahaha!
(everyone gives her a funny look)
[Ranma sits down next to Akane.]
Ranma: What's on?
Akane: Some gaijin show about two FBI agents who investigate the paranormal.
Ranma: Weird. Gaijins area kinda odd, eh?
Akane: (nods) A bit...
Ranma: Are you mad at me? What have I done now?
Akane: Nothing.
Ranma: Come on, Akane. I know you too well. You're mad. You may as well tell
me!
Akane: (sighs) If you must know... It's about you're lack of decisiveness.
Ranma: (showing his denseness) Huh?
Akane: You've dithered about for so long. I don't think you'll make a
decision now either!
Nodoka: (from kitchen) If he doesn't, he can commit seppuku!
Ranma: (frowns) Good one, Akane.
Akane: (defensively) At least now you can't back out!
Ranma: My life is farce! It's like some stupid manga!
Akane: No, it's not. There are no guys with wild hair or green aliens or space
ships or weird mecha...
Ranma: (shakes head) Don't say it! (depressed) Just don't say it!
Akane: Hmph!
[Ranma sighs and gets up, leaving Akane to watch the two agents trying to get
out of the mountains before getting eaten by killer fireflies (My favourite
X-File).]
Genma: So, son. It looks like you will have to accept your marriage to Akane.
Souun: Indeed. This is the right way. There is a promise to uphold.
Ranma: All Ofukuro said was that I had to choose. I can marry any one I want.
I might not marry Akane just to razz you a bit!
Souun & Genma: Son! How can you?!
Ranma: Easy!
[Ranma walks off and goes out to the doujou to practice. He does his kata and
then several other drills before Shampoo arrives.]
Shampoo: (crashed through wall) Nihao!
Ranma: (resigned) Hi, Shampoo. What do you want?
Shampoo: (gloms onto him) Shampoo come to visit husband. When you choose
Shampoo, we be together.
Ranma: Don't count your plans before they're hatched. I haven't chosen you
yet!
Shampoo: You will.
Ranma: What about Mousse? He's still got a hard on for you. He gave me one
his ultimatums today.
Shampoo: Mousse very stupid. Maybe I just kill him...
Ranma: That's a little harsh... Why not just...cripple him?
Shampoo: (pleased) Aiya! Is good idea!
Ranma: You'd better go before Akane finds us. She's already bashed me once
today. I'd rather not go for double points.
Shampoo: Okay. I see you later, yes?
Ranma: (unenthusiasticly) Yeah...
[Shampoo goes back out through the hole she made and disapears. All is
peaceful for a time. Until Ryouga enters through Shampoo's doorway.]
Ryouga: Excuse me... Can you direct me to... RANMA!
Ranma: Ryouga. You here for a reason...or are you just lucky?
Ryouga: Do not mock me!
Ranma: Of course! I should have known! You want a compass! Or a GPS!
(Global Positioning System)
Ryouga: Ranma! You will be humiliated...then you will die!
[Ryouga pulls a bucket of water from the ether and throws it on Ranma.]
Ranma-onna: You gutless set of pork ribs! I'm gonna make you into a bacon
burger!
Ryouga: It'll wreck your figure!
Ranma-onna: Not half as much as it'll wreck yours!
Ryouga: DIE, RANMA!
Ranma-onna: After you.
[Ryouga attacks Ranma, who ducks and somersaults away. At this point Kunou
enters bearing flowers. Just as Ryouga has Ranma-onna cornered, Kunou smacks
him into the pond with his bokken.]
Kunou: Foul heethen! To attack my goddess in pigtails! You have been punished
by the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!
Ranma-onna: Sempai?!
Kunou: Yes, my darling! I am here to protect you! It seems I came just in
time! Here... (gives her flowers)
Ranma-onna: Why is the card for Akane?
Kunou: A minor oversight on the part of my servart. Rest assured, he will be
punished.
Ranma-onna: (sarcastically) I'm so releaved to hear it.
Kunou: I knew you would be. Now... let us go. I have plans...
Ranma-onna: (boots him out through Shampoo's doorway) So do I! And you're
not in them!
[Ranma-onna sighs and looks at the flowers. She pulls off the card and
destroys it. She then takes the flowers into the house and drops them on
Akane's lap.]
Ranma-onna: Here...
Akane: Ranma...
Ranma-onna: I...found them. I thought you might like them...
Akane: Thank you, Ranma.
Ranma-onna: Anytime.
[Ranma-onna walks into the kitchen and finds her mother there.]
Ranma-onna: Can I have some hot water?
Nodoka: Oh! Ranko! Of course. What's it... (sees Ranma-onna's expression) Oh!
I'm sorry Ranma. I forgot!
Ranma-onna: It's okay. I'm used to being confused by people.
Nodoka: (hands kettle to her) Here you go.
[Ranma-onna pours it on herself and turns into Ranma-kun.]
Ranma: That's better. Being a girl is a drag!
Nodoka: (smiles) You're just going about it the hard way.
Ramna: That's okay. As long as I can change back, I don't need to worry!
Nodoka: I guess that's true.
Ranma: Thanks, Ofukuro. See ya!
Nodoka: Don't go too far! Dinner's nearly ready!
Ranma: Okay!
[Ranma walks out of the kitchen and goes out into the garden.]
Ranma: Where are you, Ryouga?! Quit hiding from me!
[Cologne appears behind him.]
Cologne: He is not here... But I am...
[Ranma spins around.]
Ranma: Mouko Takabisha!
[He shoots a blast of Ki power at Cologne, who hops to the side.]
Cologne: Impressive. You are very powerful, muko-dono. You are the only
man for Shampoo.
Ranma: Mousse wouldn't agree with that!
Cologne: Bah! Mousse is a weak, pathetic fool. He does not even deserve to be
mentioned by you. He is not in your leauge!
Ranma: (throws a few punches and kicks) And you are?
Cologne: (dodges them all) Of course. If you marry Shampoo, I can teach
you a great deal. I can make you more powerful than you can imagine.
Ranma: Pass on that. I have rule about going to school with a bakemono!
Cologne: (baps him) Show a little respect!
Ranma: Did you come her just to annoy me, or are you here for a reason?
Cologne: I do nothing without reason.
Ranma: And?
Cologne: And I have a challenge for you.
Ranma: Oh, joy. My life is complete.
Cologne: It will be when you marry Shampoo.
Ranma: (sighs) Let's hear it!
Cologne: I have heard about your mother's ultimatum. If, by the time your
week of decision is finished, you have not chose a bride... you
will marry Shampoo by default!
Ranma: Pity my Ofukuro and Oyaji said the same thing about Akane and me!
Cologne: They are of no significance.
Ranma: You're way too weird! If you want to make a bet, go find Nabiki!
Cologne: You have heard the terms...
Ranma: Yes. And I refuse.
Cologne: (as she hops away) You cannot. You have no choice.
[Ranma watches Cologne go.]
Ranma: Hmmm... I wonder what that old bat has in mind...
[Ranma shrugs and goes back into the house just as dinner is called. He
sits down with the rest of the extened family.]
Souun: So... Ranma-kun... Made a decision yet?
Ranma: (annoyed) No. And if you keep pestering me... I won't!
Kasumi: You should make a choice, though...
Nabiki: Yeah! Otherwise all my bets are void!
Genma: He must marry Akane. That was the promise.
Souun: Indeed.
Nodoka: Above all... he must marry.
Ranma: Oy vey!
Nodoka: Turning Jewish won't get you out of it either!
Nabiki: What about Mormon?
Ranma: Huh?
Akane: You're a fool, Ranma!
Ranma: Why'd you say that?
Akane: Because you're so ignorant!
Ranma: No. I'm not going to fight with you... I can't be bothered.
[Everyone stares.]
Akane: Are you okay, Ranma?!
Ranma: (flatly) Yes.
[Everyone stares at Ranma for a moment and then goes back to eating. A bit
later, after everyone has finished, Kasumi makes an announcement.]
Kasumi: Would everyone please make sure they are here for dinner tommorow
night?
Everyone: Okay, sure, whatever...
[After the meal, everyone goes and does their thing. The evening passes into
night and then to morning. There is much activity at the Tendou Dojo as
everyone prepares for the day. Ranma and Akane eat a quick breakfast and then
are off to school.]
[Furinkan High, A Little Later]
[Ranma and Akane arrive with Ukyou and walk into the school.]
Ranma: Hey! Kunou's not around!
Akane: Thank goodness for those small blessings... Now come on!
[They get to class on time and suffer the boredom of Biology, the misery of
Math, the pain of Physics and the horror of History. All through the classes,
Ranma cannot help but look at Ukyou. A nervous expression on his face, made
worse by her smile. At lunch, Akane notices his preoccupied state.]
Akane: (waves hand in his face) Hello? Ranma? Anyone home? Earth to Ranma...
Ukyou: Ranma's got a lot on his mind!
Akane: Yeah...and not much mind to cope with it!
Ranma: (snaps awake) Hey! I heard that!
Akane: So?
Ranma: So...
Ukyou: SO you should appologise to him for being mean!
Ranma: Yeah! What Ucchan said!
Akane: (rolls her eyes) You're hopeless!
Ranma: And you're macho and rude!
Akane: And you're a pervert!
Ranma: YEAH?! WELL... YOU'VE GOT NO SEX APPEAL AT ALL!
Akane: RANMA, YOU PERVERT!
[They are suddenly aware that the entire lunch room is looking at them. Ranma
turns and glares at them, flaring his aura. They all turn back to their
conversations.]
Ranma: Nosey jerks!
Akane: (fierce whisper) It was you're fault!
Ranma: No, it wasn't!
Akane: Yes, it was!
Ranma: No, it-
Ukyou: Okay, children. Play nice!
Ranma & Akane: Huh?
Ukyou: You're like a pair of three year olds!
Ranma & Akane: No, we're not!... Don't imitate me!
Ukyou: See?
Ranma: We just get a little worked up.
Akane: Yes. It's nothing serious.
Ukyou: Nothing serious? You were about to kill each other!
Akane: (frowns) And your point is?
Ukyou: That you two aren't suited to each other. I am much better for
Ran-chan!
Akane: Says you!
Ukyou: You always fight! And you don't agree on much of anything! You're all
wrong!
Akane: No, we're not! You wait! I'll marry, Ranma!
[Ranma and Ukyou stare at Akane, who has just realised the magnitude of her
blunder.]
Akane: I...um...er...
Ranma: I think you've said enough.
[Akane shrinks into her seat. Ranma and Ukyou talk for a bit and then they go
back to class. About half an hour later, Kunou bursts in.]
Kunou: Saotome! I will not let you have Akane!
Ranma: (to Ukyou) I guess news travels fast...
Ukyou: (nods)
Sensei: Kunou. This is not your class. Unless you are being downgraded...
which would not surprise me... GET OUT!
Kunou: A thousand appolagies, Sensei, but I must first dispense justice to
the evil Saotome Ranma.
Sensei: (nicely) Let me rephrase that... Get out or I'll dispense a little
justice of my own...by kicking you in the trousers!
Kunou: Such a dire threat is indeed a concern. However the mighty Kunou
Tatewaki fears no boot.
Sensei: Really? (shows pointed shoes) How about a set of winkle pickers?
Kunou: (backs out of the room) I shall return!
[The class stares for a moment and then burst out laughing. The rest of the
day passes swiftly and Ranma, Akane and Ukyou are glad to leave. Ranma and
Akane walk back to the doujou, sulking. Once there, Ranma goes to his room
and does not reappear. At about six o'clock, people begin to arrive. Shampoo,
Mousse and Cologne. Ryouga (by some miracle), Dr. Toufuu, Tatewaki and Kodachi
Kunou (with Sasuke in tow) and some of Ranma and Akane's classmates (as cannon
fodder). The great meal begins without anyone noticing that Ranma is not
there. As they eat, Ranma, dressed in his best tux, leaps out of an upstairs
window and, making like a B-grade ninja, sneaks across the garden and jumps
the fence. He then runs staight to Ucchan's. He arrives soon after and finds
it is closed. He knocks on the door, which is immeidiately opened by Ukyou.
She is wearing her most stunning dress (which has the desired effect,
stunning Ranma). He recovers quickly.]
Ranma: That dress looks really great on you, Ucchan!
Ukyou: (pleased) That you, Ran-chan! (kisses him)
Ranma: (rather flustered) Er... We... We'd better go...
Ukyou: (nods) Yes. Let's...
[Ukyou puts her arm through his and they walk off down the street.]
[Tendou Doujou, At The Same Time]
[A few people have noticed a couple of absentees at the dinner table.]
Shampoo: Hey! Where, Ranma?
Akane: Probably hiding from you!
Shampoo: Maybe he worry you cook? Ranma fear nothing in world...but Akane
cooking!
Akane: Are you saying it's bad?!
Shampoo: (nods) Akane cooking kill elephant!
Akane: Grrrr...
Shampoo: You want fight?
Nodoka: Now, now. Let's all calm down. Ranma has gone out on his own to give
him time to decide.
Shampoo: Aiya! Shampoo go help Ranma decide!
Akane: She said he was on his own! Do you know what that means?
Shampoo: He be lonely without Shampoo!
Akane: Not likely!
Shampoo: You choose today to die? I oblige!
Cologne: Be calm, great-grandaughter. All things come to those who wait.
Shampoo: (pouts) I no like waiting!
Mousse: Do not worry, Shampoo. I shall always be with you!
Shampoo: Go 'way, Mousse!
Kasumi: I think you should all come back tommorow night. This is quite fun...
Everyone: Urrr...
[A Restraunt In The Town Centre, A Little Later]
[Ranma and Ukyou are sitting at a table near the window.]
Ukyou: I'm surprised we haven't been attacked yet!
Ranma: My Ofukuro and Kasumi have created a diversion for the evening. If our
luck holds, we won't have to fight anyone.
Ukyou: That's good. I get sick of all of the fighting and arguing...
Ranma: You and me both... And I get it at home, too.
Ukyou: Ran-chan... Are you seriously thinking of marrying Akane?
Ranma: (pales) Well... I'm not ruling anything out. I'm going to keep my
options open until I decide.
Ukyou: How do you really feel, Ran-chan? (pause) Do you know?
Ranma: I'm not sure. It's so hard. I love you all... Well... You and Akane...
I don't want to hurt any of you... but that's what'll happen,
regardless of my choice.
Ukyou: You can't worry about everyone else forever. If you choose one of the
others... I'll still be happy for you. I want you to be happy...
Ranma: (smiles) Thanks, Ucchan... I... I wish I could promise that it would
be you... But, I can't...
Ukyou: I know... It's okay. Say... Are you going out with the Akane and
Shampoo soon?
Ranma: (grins) One at a time.
Ukyou: (smiles) You know what I mean!
Ranma: Yeah... I'll take Shampoo out tommorow night... and Akane after that...
I guess...
Ukyou: Do they know about this?
Ranma: No way! Do you see Shampoo here?
Ukyou: (looks around) No. Point taken.
Ranma: And don't tell either of them. They'd kill me!
Ukyou: How are you going to distract everyone tommorow...and the next night?
Ranma: I don't know. That's not my problem. I'll let Ofukuro and Kasumi deal
with that!
[At this point, dinner arrives and they quieten a little as they eat. After
the meal, they walk out of the restraut, hand in hand.]
Ranma: Well... What shall we do now... I didn't plan very far... Considering
how long my dates usually last...
Ukyou: Hmmm...
Ranma: What's up? How about a movie?
Ukyou: There's nothing on except films with that gaijin with the big guns in
them!
Ranma: How about a disco?
Ukyou: They're passe! How about a trip to the lookout?
Ranma: Lookout?
Ukyou: The roof of Furinkan...
Ranma: Oh. Okay. Let's go...
[Ranma and Ukyou walk down the street, heading for the school.]
Ranma: Hey! At this time of night, Kunou won't be there to fight me! Come to
think of it, he's at my place!
[Ukyou smiles and presses close to him, putting her arm through his.]
[Tendou Doujou, A The Same Time]
[Dinner has turned into a factional war between the various parties arguing
the marriage matter. The Tendou's and Saotome's (plus Mousse) arguing for a
marriage to Akane, and the rest arguing against it. It soon degrades into a
full on food fight.]
Mousse: Fish Cake Frenzy Attack! (throws a hail of fish cakes)
Kunou: Salmon Strike!... Strike, Strike, Strike, Strike! (atacks using fish
like a bokken)
Shampoo: (swing a mace) Bonbori over easy!
[Kasumi is watching them all batter each other silly with food.]
Kasumi: Such a waste. Luckily I thought of this. (looks at watch) Hmm... Five.
Four. Three. Two. One. Now!
[Everyone collapes in a stupor and appears unconscious. Nodoka crawls out from
under the table, a tureen on her head (used like an army helmet).]
Nodoka: Is it over?
Kasumi: For an hour or so.
Nodoka: We'd better tidy all of this up before they recover.
Kasumi: Yes.
[They set about the massive task of turning the dining room, currently under
a pile of rubble, back into the formal eating area it once was.]
[Furinkan High, Roof, A Little Later]
[Ranma and Ukyou are sitting on the clock tower roof.]
Ranma: I didn't know you knew how to pick locks!
Ukyou: (smiles sheepishly) You pick up odd little skills here and there...
Ranma: I guess so.
Ukyou: It's nice out here...
Ranma: Yes, it is...
Ukyou: Ran-chan...
Ranma: Yeah?
Ukyou: If you don't marry Akane.. what will you do?
Ranma: Marry you or Shampoo, I imagine...
Ukyou: (shakes head) I meant career wise. If you marry her... You get to be
master of the dojo... You don't really have to do anything...
Ranma: (troubled) I hadn't really thought about it... Martial arts is all I
know... It's all I've ever needed...
Ukyou: You should think about it... Even if you marry Akane... are you sure
you really want to be a doujou master?
Ranma: It seems to be a job lot. One goes with the other...
Ukyou: It doesn't have to be...
Ranma: But most likely will be...
Ukyou: Maybe you need to go somewhere else...
Ranma: Trying to get rid of me?
Ukyou: (puts arm around him) Of course not... I meant that you might need
space to think.
Ranma: I'd have to go to the moon to get any peace!
Ukyou: I guess it's all very sudden... All this pressure...
Ranma: It feels like a lead weight on my shoulders... She was right all
along...
Ukyou: Who was? Kasumi?
Ranma: No. The other me. She said there were important choices... She was
right... But she didn't tell what the right answers are... Or even
where to find them!
Ukyou: (leans her head on his shoulder) I think the answers are in your heart,
Ran-chan. You just need to find them...
Ranma: Maybe you're right...
Ukyou: Of course I am.
Ranma: (nervous) You know, Ucchan... We've never really... I mean... That
is... What if... you know...
Ukyou: Quit waffling and kiss me, Ranma.
[Ranma does as he is told and moves close to her. They look into each other's
eyes as their lips meet. They hold the kiss for a moment, savouring the
emotions rushing through them, and then sit back.]
Ranma: Whew!
Ukyou: You like?
Ranma: Um.. well... (quietly) Yes...
Ukyou: Me, too.
[Ranma sighs and looks out at the city lights.]
Ranma: We'd better get going. I don't know how long Kasumi can keep them busy.
And we don't want to stretch our luck too far...
Ukyou: (sighs) I guess so...
[Ranma and Ukyou get up and walk down the stairs and out of the school,
locking the doors as they go. They walk quickly down the street and soon reach
Ucchan's. Ukyou opens the door and walks in. She then turns and faces Ranma
and takes his hand.]
Ukyou: Ran-chan... I... I had really nice time tonight...
Ranma: Me, too...
Ukyou: Whatever choice you make... I'll always love you...
Ranma: You'll always be special to me, too... Regardless of how things turn
out...
Ukyou: (kisses him) Good night, Ran-chan...
Ranma: Good night, Ucchan...
[She gives him one last look and closes the door. Ranma stands there, staring
at the door for a moment. He then turns and runs off into the night.]
[Tendou Doujou, At The Same Time]
[Kasumi and Nodoka have just finished piling the rubbish into an industrial
dumpster with a pair of shovels, when some of the unconscious guests begin to
come around.]
Kunou: Ohhhhh! My head... I have been struck by the Blue Thunder!
Shampoo: Shampoo feel like she just fight steamroller...and loose.
Mousse: That's odd... I feel quite refreshed.
Cologne: That's because you're a fool!
Akane: Ohhhh... What happened?
Kasumi: You all ate so much that you passed out. It was quite extrodinary!
Nodoka: A large meal will do that to you, though...
Kasumi: Yes...it will.
[At this moment, Ranma walks in and sees bodies all over the floor.]
Ranma: I guess dinner wasn't a roaring success?
Kasumi: Oh... It went well... (looks around) All things considered...
Nodoka: How was your evening?
Ranma: Oh... It was... Well... I...
Nodoka: Confusing?
Rnama: Yeah... That about sums it up...
Akane: Where did you go? (pause) And why are you dressed like that?
Ranma: So people wouldn't recognise me.
Akane: (tugs his pigtail) This is a bit of a give away!
Ranma: (shrugs) It worked...
[Everyone else is getting up to go home. They stagger out, after promising to
return tommorow and bidding the Tendou's good night. Kasumi and Nodoka are
in the kitchen washing the dishes.]
Nodoka: We're going to be pushing it to keep this up for two more nights...
We may need another diversion...
Kasumi: Yes. This is a short term plan at best.
Nodoka: Hmmm. We may be able to put Happousai to some use...
Kasumi: He's a bit of a loose cannon...
Nodoka: Yes. But he has certain desirable attributes...
Kasumi: Like?
Nodoka: Like that fact that everyone hates him and will do whatever they can
to get him... If we can get him to cause some trouble... He might be
able to keep them busy...
Kasumi: How can we get him to work for us?
Nodoka: I happen to know a little hypnosis trick...
Kasumi: That's good... Now all we have to is find him...
Nodoka: Just wave a pair of panties around. He can detect them from miles
away.
Kasumi: I think he's a risk... But he's the best pawn we've got...
Nodoka: I shall see to him tommorow... (yawns) Anyway... It's late.
Kasumi: Yes it is. Goodnight.
Nodoka: Goodnight, Kasumi.
[Nodoka walks out of the kitchen and goes up to her room. Akane and Nabiki
have gone to bed and Genma and Soun have gone back to their game. Nodoka sees
Ranma sitting forlornly on the floor.]
Nodoka: A hard evening?
Ranma: (looks up, nods) Yeah... I know I love Ucchan... She's my best
friend... but I'm not sure if I...
Nodoka: Love her THAT way?
Ranma: Yeah...
Nodoka: Don't try to decide until you know all the options...
Ranma: (gets up) I guess you're right... but I feel like I'm making things
worse by not telling Akane about this...
Nodoka: If you feel that is best, then you must tell her... However, our plan
rests on as few people knowing what is going on as is possible.
Remember, knowledge is power.
Ranma: You sound like a cheap spy novel.
Nodoka: And you sound like a rude boy! Go to bed!
Ranma: (smiles wryly) Yes, Ofukuro...
[Ranma wanders off and Nodoka follows. The rest of the family soon go to bed,
leaving the house in darkness. Akane lies awake, thinking about her
relationship with Ranma.]
Akane: (thought) I wonder who Ranma will choose... I wonder IF Ranma will
choose... He's a jerk! Going off and leaving me to fend Kunou, Kodachi,
Shampoo and Cologne off at once... Still... at least Ukyou wasn't
there. I wonder what he was doing... Ukyou?... HE WAS WITH UKYOU!!
(spoken) RANMA, YOU PERVERT!
[Everyone else in the house (and the neighborhood) is awakened by the shout.
Ranma sits up in bed.]
Ranma: What I do now?
[Akane kicks his door down and grabs him by the shirt and drags him out the
door.]
Ranma: Hey... Akane... Can we talk about this?
Akane: No.
[Akane drags Ranma down the stairs.]
Ranma: Can (bump!) you (bump!) at (bump!) least (bump!) tell (bump!) me
(bump!) what (bump!) I've (bump!) done? (bump!)
Akane: (accusing) You went out with Ukyou didn't you?!
Ranma: (forlornly) Yes I did.
Akane: Why didn't you tell me?!
Ranma: I thought you'd get jealous and upset...
Akane: HAH! Me?! Jealous of her?! Not likely!
Ranma: What do you call this?
Akane: Blind rage!!
Ranma: (swallows) Calm down... It's not like I lied to you... I just didn't
tell you... It was for your own good anyway!
Akane: I'd rather know and be mad, than be left to figure it out for myself!
Ranma: I'm sorry. I should have told you! Happy?!
Akane: No!
Ranma: Look, I was planning to take you out tommorow night... Will you go?
Akane: (scowls)
Ranma: (pleading) Please... Akane... I want to be with you...
Akane: (stunned) What?!
Ranma: I want to spend some time with you...alone...
Akane: (exhasperated) Oh... Fine! Whatever! I'm tired. (coldly) Goodnight!
[Akane turns to walk away and sees the entire family watching them.]
Akane: (stammers) O...O-oh... Umm... Goodnight everyone... (goes to her room,
looking rather embarresessed)
[Everyone turns to look at Ranma.]
Ranma: (shrugs) Don't ask me!
[He gets up and ges back to bed. Everyone else frowns at him and then returns
to their own beds.]
[Tendou Doujou, Morning]
[Ranma gets up and does his practice, before going off to school. Akane is
ignoring him and he is trying to get her to forgive him.]
Ranma: Come on, Akane! I said I was sorry! What more do you want?
Akane: For you to die the death of 1000 papercuts and then fall into a pit
of lemon juice and salt!
Ranma: Ouch.
Akane: Ranma. You lied to me. That hurts. I'm not sure how I feel right now...
You'd better leave me alone for a while...
Ranma: (sighs) Okay.
[Ranma walks miserably along, a few steps behind Akane. She continues to
ignore him for a while, but then turns and waits for him.]
Akane: Much as you annoy me. I can't seem to stay mad at you. For once, I
think I believe you...
Ranma: I'm glad. I didn't mean to upset you...
Akane: I know... But I would have prefered to know.
Ranma: I guess so. Now... Where are we going to go?
Akane: I don't know... Where did you take Ukyou?
Ranma: That doesn't matter. I don't want to take you to the same place.
Akane: (smiles) There are several nice restraunts in town...
Ranma: Yeah... You can choose one if you like.
Akane: Alright, I will. What about all of people who are going to be mad
about this? Like Kunou... and Kodachi... and Shampoo...
Ranma: My ofukuro and Kasumi are gonna take care of them.
Akane: So that's what all that last night was about!
Ranma: Yeah. They're going to make sure that I can have a night alone with
each of you.
Akane: (annoyed) That means you're going to go out with Shampoo as well!
Ranma: I have to be sure before I choose. You want me to make the right
choice, don't you?
Akane: Of course!
Ramna: Then you have to let me find what is right...
Akane: I will, Ranma... I guess I trust you...
[They arrive at school and go into class. Ukyou is there. She smiles at Ranma,
who looks nervous. Akane gives her a dark look that is returned in kind.]
Ukyou: How are you today, Ran-chan?
Ranma: Oh. Okay, I guess.
Ukyou: Are you going out with Akane tonight?
Ranma: (nervous glance at Akane) Yes.
Akane: I know about last night. Aren't you worried that I might get him
tonight?
Ukyou: Not as long as you cook the way you do!
Akane: Not everyone worries about cooking skills!
Ukyou: You know what they say... The way to a man's heart is to through his
stomach... It's twice as true with Ran-chan.
Ranma: Hey!
Akane: Bah! You just want him for your own purposes!
Ukyou: And so do you!
Akane: No, I don't! His father and my father made a promise! I had no choice!
Ukyou: But I bet you wouldn't give up your engagement for anything, ne?!
Akane: ...
Ramna: Let's calm down a bit can we?
Akane & Ukyou: NO!
Ranma: Sorry.
[Akane and Ukyou bicker for a while, before Ranma gets mad and tells them to
stop it. At lunch, Akane and Ukyou are ignoring each other. Meanwhile, Nabiki
is taking bets on Ranma's choice of bride.]
Nabiki: (takes money) 500 on Akane? You got it! 760 on Ukyou? Are you sure?
Okay! YOU WANT TO BET HOW MUCH?! ON WHO?! You're nuts... but I'll
take it.
Ranma: (looking at Nabiki) I can't believe she's making money out of this!
I'm riding the emotional roller coaster and she's using it to launder
money!
Akane: You know what Nabiki is like!
Ranma: Yeah... Totally mercenary!
Ukyou: I guess bad traits run in the Tendou family...
Ranma: (puts hands over head and ducks) Uh oh...
Akane: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Ukyou: It was just an observation... You're butch, Nabiki is mercenary and
Kasumi is...nieve...
Ranma: (hands over head) Ohno,ohn,ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno,ohno! (looks for a
bomb shelter)
Akane: DIE!
[Akane throws a punch at Ukyou, who grabs her hand and slams it into the
table.]
Akane: (surprised) Ow!
Ukyou: Don't fight battles you can't win! Ranma should have taught you that
much!
Akane: (rubs hand) You can't say that about my sisters! (to Ranma) Are you
going to do anything about this?
Ranma: Me? What can I do?
Akane: Teach her a lesson for saying that!
Ukyou: Ran-chan wouldn't do that! He loves me. He even said so! He's going to
choose me!
Akane: RANMA!!
Ranma: I didn't say that! Well...not all of it, anyway...
Akane: (punches his out) BAKA!
Ukyou: And you wonder why he calls you macho!
Akane: Shut up! This is a fiancee thing!
Ukyou: Hey! He's my fiancee, too!
Ranma: Alright, enough! I'm sick of your arguing. I am going to choose on my
own...and none of this makes either of you look very good. Ucchan,
you're being mean and petty... And Akane...you're being hypersensitive
and neurotic.
Akane: I... well... I just...
Ukyou: Sorry, Ran-chan...
Akane: Yes. Me, too...
Ranma: Thank goodness! The last thing I need is to have to keep breaking you
up! I am not a referee!
[They go back to class and Akane and Ukyou remain civil to each other for the
afternoon. After school Ranma and Akane head straight back to the doujou. They
walk in and find the entire family waiting.]
Souun: Is it true? Are you really going out? Volinterily?
Genma: Tell us it's true!
Kasumi: It's so nice to see you getting on so well...
Ranma: Okay, okay! It's true! Happy?!
Souun: YES!! Now you can get married!
Ranma: Hey! We're going out! I haven't decided yet!
Souun: Oh.
[Akane goes up to her room to get ready, and Ranma goes to find his mother.]
Ranma: Ofukuro? Ofukuro?! OFUKURO?!
Nodoka: (from kitchen) Yes?!
Ranma: (walking in) Akane and I are going out...
Nodoka: But I thought...
Ranma: I know... But she found out and I had to pacify her. It doesn't matter
that much...
Nodoka: But our plan was set up for a date with Shampoo...
Ranma: I guess you'll have to improvise.
Nodoka: I hope we can...
[Ranma walks up to his room and gets dressed in his suit again. He walks back
downstairs and waits for Akane.]
Ranma: Back to the battlefield...
Genma: Now, son... I want you to make a special effort tonight. Be esp-
[WHAM!]
[Ranma boots him into the pond before he can finish.]
Ranma: I'll do it my way, Oyaji!
[The panda gets out of the pond and comes over to Ranma. Ranma backs up as
the panda raises a sign to hit him.]
Genma: (sign) [Be nice to her!]
Ranma: Calm down! I was gonna do that anyway! (ducks a swipe) Hey! Watch it!
You'll wreck my suit! I still need it tommorow!
[The panda subsides and Ranma sits down to wait for Akane. About half an hour
later, Akane comes down. She is wearing her best dress and looks beautiful.]
Ranma: Akane... You... You look...
Akane: (annoyed) What? You don't like it?!
Ranma: No! Its... You're... Beautiful!
Akane: (smiles) Thanks, Ranma! Come on! We'd better go.
[Akane starts to walk away. Ranma remain where he is, still stunned by Akane's
appearance. Akane notices he is not moving.]
Akane: Ranma?! Are you okay?
Ranma: (snaps back) Huh?! Oh! Yeah... Okay... I'm coming.
[He catches up with her as they walk out the door. They walk casually down
the street, taking care to avoid Ucchan's and the Nekohanten.]
Akane: Ukyou was being rather mean today...
Ranma: I guess she got kind of worked up after last night...
Akane: What happened last night?
Ranma: Not much... But we had a nice time...
Akane: (poutily) I see...
Ranma: I want to have just as nice a time tonight!
Akane: Really?
Ranma: Sure. I saw the best of Ucchan last night. I was to see the best of
you tonight.
Akane: I hope we can...
Ranma: Why shouldn't we?
Akane: 'Cause something always goes wrong!
Ranma: (raises hand) I swear that I won't let anything go wrong this time!
Akane: (doubtful) I'll believe it when I see it!
Ranma: We can only do our best. We'd better get moving though... Say...
You're choosing. Where are we going?
Akane: Follow me!
[Akane leads Ranma across town and soon arrives at a restraunt. It just
happens to be the one he was at last night.]
Ranma: Wow. This looks familiar!
Akane: Why?
Ranma: I was here last night.
Akane: Oh. Well... We can go somewhere else...
Ranma: No. This was your choice. Lets eat here. I don't mind. Besides. If I
date each of you here... I will be measuring just you and not the
scenery as well.
Akane: I feel like a show dog!
Ranma: Don't. This is the best way to see...
Akane: I suppose so... Let's go in.
Ranma: Okay.
[Ranma opens the door and Akane walks in ahead of him. They are sat at a table
and order.]
[Tendou Doujou, At The Same Time]
[All of the dinner victims are arriving again, some against their will. Kasumi
places them all at the table while Nodoka finishes dinner preparations. At
that moment, Happousai arrives.]
Happi: Ah! Lot's of lovely food! All for me!
[Happi leaps at the food, but is stopped by Nodoka's hand.]
Nodoka: You can have this if you perform a task for me.
[She stares intently into his eyes, resisting the urge to vomit.]
Nodoka: You will sit still until I call you. At that time, you will take
Shampoo and Kodachi's bras and you will jump on Kunou, Ryouga and
Cologne. Do you understand?
Happi: (roboticly) Yes. I hear and obey.
Nodoka: Good. Now hide in the pantry. (opens door, Happi walks in)
Happi: I hear and obey.
[Nodoka prepares the rest of the food and carries it into the dining room.
Kasumi assists her and keeps the guests busy.]
[At the Restraunt, A Little Later]
[Ranma and Akane are eating their entree and talking.]
Ranma: This is really good.
Akane: Yes, it is. Ranma... Can I ask you a question?
Ranma: (stops) I suppose so. What is it?
Akane: Are you really going to make a decision... One way or the other?
Ranma: I think so. It's sooner than I expected, but I think I have to deal
with it. It's gone on way too long.
Akane: Yes. It has. Do you think there is a right choice?
Ranma: (sighs) I don't know... The other me said there was... but I don't
know what it is...
Akane: Maybe you need to ask her... She might have some idea...
Ranma: She said I love you...
Akane: And... Do you?
Ranma: Um... That's what I'm here for.
Akane: Don't avoid the question!
Ranma: Okay! I love you! Is that what you want to hear?! I'm just... not sure
if I want to marry you...
Akane: Why not? If you love me... The choice should be easy!
Ranma: It's not that simple! I love Ucchan, too! I don't want to hurt either
of you! And added to that is the pressure from my ofukuro and Dad, and
from others...
Akane: This engagement thing does seem to have an unusually big effect on life
around here, doesn't it?
Ranma: It'd be nice to resolve it... Just to stop the fights.
Akane: Yes. I think we've seen our fair share of confilct. Do... do you think
we could...(trails off)
Ranma: What? Get along? I suppose so. A lot of couples have broken up after a
lot less than what we've been through...
Akane: That's true...and we do know each other pretty well.
Ranma: Almost inside out!
Akane: Ranma...if you choose me... I'll...
Ranma: You'll what?
Akane: (looks intently into his eyes) I'll be you're wife.
Ranma: (looks like he's just been hit in the head with a fish) Akane...
Akane: You don't have to say anything...
Ranma: (serious) I want to ask you a couple of questions...
Akane: Okay.
Ranma: What would you do if I married someone else?
Akane: I don't... I don't know... I haven't thought about it... I can't
think about it! I won't!
Ranma: If we get married... I guess we'll take over the doujou...
Akane: That's what our parents want...
Ranma: What do you want?
Akane: Well... I'd like to go to college...
Ranma: So do it. There's nothing to stop you!
Akane: But if we...
Ranma: Life doesn't have to revolve around that house! We can move.
Akane: But... I've lived in that house my whole life...
Ranma: Sometimes you need a change.
Akane: Maybe... But we have to apply for college places soon... You'd better
decide what you want to do...
Ranma: (nods) I guess so...
[They eat in silence for a while.]
[Back at the doujou, dinner is not quite as manic as last night. There are
sporadic outbreaks of violence, but all seems to be relatively calm. Nodoka
excuses herself and goes into the kitchen. She goes over to the pantry and
opens the door.]
Nodoka: Come out, now. (Happi walks out) Go around the house and come through
the outside door, then carry out my plan.
Happi: I hear and obey.
[Happi disapears out a window as Nodoka walks back into the dining room. The
guests are looking a little restless. Suddnely Happi comes bursting through
the window and jumps onto the table.]
Happi: Happi is here!
[He gloms onto Shampoo, stealing her bra. She squeels and baps him off. He
bounces onto Kodachi and takes her bra too. He then jumps onto Ryouga, then
onto Cologne and tramples over Kunou and Muusse. He then leaps out the door
and into the night. Everyone jumps up and runs out after him.]
Shampoo: Come back, pervert! Shampoo kill!
Mousse: Shampoo! Wait for me!
Kodachi: I shall catch that small letch and roast him over a slow fire, before
feeding him to my alligator!
Kunou: He has stained my honor and my sister's person! For that he must die!
Cologne: This is odd... Even Happi isn't this crazy!
[Genma, Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi and Nodoka run out after the others. The group
heads off up the street.]
[Back At The Restraunt]
[Ranma and Akane are onto the main course and are continuing their
conversation.]
Akane: If I were to go to college... What would you do?
Ranma: I don't really know... Run the doujou until you got back... I guess...
Akane: That could be four years!
Ranma: Oh. I guess I'd have to come with you...
Akane: You could go to college too, you know!
Ranma: You know I'm not much of an academic. I'm a physical person.
Akane: (shrugs) So study something to do with physical activity!
Ranma: Like?
Akane: I don't know... but it's easy to find out! You might get a sports
scholarship!
Ranma: I don't do sports! I'm a martial artist!
Akane: And not a very good one without a qualification!
Ranma: How would you know! I don't teach you!
Akane: I don't need it!
Ranma: Hah! I... (stops) I said I wasn't going to do that... Sorry, Akane.
Akane: That's okay. We have to talk things out. I just think you need a little
more ambition to go with your talent.
Rnama: But I... What did you say?
Akane: You heard.
Ranma: Do you...
Akane: (nods) Of course.
Ranma: (smiles and rubs the back of his head) Well... Um... Maybe I should
think about it.
Akane: I think so.
[They eat a little more, talking as they go. Down the street, Happousai
bounds along, treasures in hand. He sees Akane in the restraunt and runs in.
He suddenly finds himself cornered by the mob. They have not realised Akane
and Ranma are there yet.]
Shampoo: Now I kill!
Kunou: You must die for your sins!
Mousse: Isn't that Ranma over there? (is acctually looking at Ranma!)
Cologne: So it is. There's something fishy going on here...
Kasumi: This is hardly the Tyme and Plaice to Carp about it...
[At this point, Shampoo wheels and sees Ranma and Akane.]
Shampoo: Aiya! Ranma with Akane! I save him!
[At the same moment, Happi pulls one of his grenades...]
Happi: Happo Dai Karin! (throws grenade)
[Ranma grabs Akane and dives throught the window. There is an explosion from
inside and a plume of smoke pours out. A number of stunned and charred figures
emerge from the rubble.]
Ranma: Let's get out of here before they see us!
Akane: We can't! Our parent's or my sisters might be hurt!
Ranma: Don't worry. Happousai's greandes aren't that dangerous. Besides, it'd
take more than that to stop my mom. She'll look after them!
Akane: (unsure) Okay...
[Ranma grabs Akane and leaps onto a roof. He then runs, carrying her far from
the scene of the explosion. Eventually they stop at Furinkan High.]
Akane: Why are we here?
Ranma: Because there's a really nice view from the roof.
Akane: How do we get up there?
Ranma: Well... Ucchan picked the locks, but I can't do that... [BOOM!] (kicks
door) But I can do this!
[Ranma and Akane go to the roof, Ranma kicking all the doors open. They are
soon sitting on the roof and looking at the night sky.]
Akane: I hope everyone is alright.
Ranma: I'm sure they will be. Happi's too stupid to do that move right,
anyway!
Akane: True... I wonder how he brought everyone to the restraunt...
Ranma: I don't know. It is too coincidental to be just chance... Maybe
Ofukuro's plan backfired...
Akane: Maybe... At least we didn't let it ruin our date!
Ranma: (takes her hand) That one good thing.
Akane: (looks at Ranma) Ranma...
Ranma: (looks at Akane) Akane... I...
Akane: Shhh...
[She moves close to him and puts her hand on the back of his head, pulling
his face to hers. He does not resist and mmmm's as their lips touch. An
electric pulse surges through his body.]
Ranma: (thought) This is it! The electric feeling! That gotta be it!
Akane: (thought) I love you, Ranma... Please choose me.
[They release the kiss and smile nervously at each other.]
Akane: We'd better go... I keep thinking about the explosion...
Ranma: (nods) Okay.
[They get up and walk down from the roof. The exit the school and head for
the Tendou Dojo. When they arrive, Kasumi and Nodoka are tending the injuries
of the others. In the corner is a conspicuous bucket of semi-dry concrete.]
Akane: (sees Souun lying down, a bandage on his head) Otousan!
Ranma: (to Nodoka) How's Oyaji?
Nodoka: Oh... he's fine. He passed out when I tried to put some cold water on
his burn...
Ranma: He's developed a bit of a...phobia about cold water...
Nodoka: Really?
[Ranma kicks the bucket of concrete, causing it to sqeulch a bit.]
Ranma: What's in here?
Nodoka: Happousai.
Ranma: What's he doing in there?
Nodoka: Setting. When he's dry, we're going to lob him into the deepest
pit we can find and fill it in.
Ranma: (smiles evilly) Sounds like a plan to me.
[They patch up the wounded and send them on their way before going to bed.]
[Tendou Doujou, Morning]
[Akane comes down from her room and hears the TV is on.]
TV: There was a gas explosion at a restraunt in the Nerima district last
night... There were some minor injuries and major damage to the building.
In other news...This morning at around 4 o'clock, the Seto Grand Bridge
in Okayama Prefecture was totally destroyed by what seemed to be a
meteor...(TV waffles in background)
Akane: Gas explosion? More like a pervert explosion!
Kasumi: What was that, Akane?
Akane: I was just... Oh, never mind... Hey! Where's the Happousai block?
Kasumi: Saotome-obasama has taken it to well near Osaka. She's going to throw
Happousai in and Otousan and Saotome-ojisan are going to fill it in.
Akane: That didn't get rid of him last time!
Kasumi: True. But it kept him away for twenty years. By then we might be
able to destroy him.
Akane: Oneechan! How can YOU say that?!
Kasumi: Akane. He is pervert. He deserves no sympathy...even from me.
[Akane sighs and sits down for breakfast. Ranma walks in a little later.]
Ranma: Um... Akane... Just so you know... I'm taking Shampoo out tonight.
Akane: WHAT?! WHY?!
Ranma: I agreed to have a date with all my fiancees. What kind of man would
I be if I went back on my word?
Akane: Not the kind of man you are... I guess...
Ranma: (nods) Exactly...
[Ranma and Akane eat quietly, each wrapped in their own thoughts. Akane
thinking jealously and Ranma suffering fits of guilt and regret. Finally they
finish breakfast and leave the dojo. As they walk to school, they are joined
by Ukyou.]
Ukyou: Akane... About yesterday... I'm sorry...
Akane: Hmph!
Ukyou: I had no right to say what I did.... (offers hand) Friends...?
Akane: (stares at it, then shakes) Okay.
Ranma: Phew!
Ukyou: So. How was your date? Apart from the explosion...
[Ranma and Akane ack.]
Ranma: How did you know...?
Ukyou: Easy. They weren't going to say a two foot tall pervert with a bra on
his head blew the place up with a grenade, were they?
Ranma & Akane: You saw that?
Ukyou : Yes. I felt guilty about what I had said. So I tagged along to make
sure you weren't disturbed...
Ranma: Did you follow us all night? (thinking of the the kiss)
Ukyou: No. I stayed and helped at the restraunt. I knew that all of your foes
were in the rubble. All I had to do was delay their release...
Ranma: Thanks, Ucchan.
Akane: Yes. Thank you, Ukyou.
Ukyou: For you, Ran-chan... Anytime...
[They soon arrive at school and go to class. At lunch, Ranma leaves the school
and goes to the Nekohanten.]
Ranma: Shampoo?! Are you here?!
[Shampoo emerges from the kitchen, looking a little the worse for being at the
blast point of a grenade. (It would have killed most people, but it scratched
Shampoo's face a bit, and messed up her hair)]
Shampoo: Ranma! You come to see if Shampoo alright! I so happy! (gloms onto
him)
Ranma: Acctually I came to ask you on a date tonight...
Shampoo: Aiya! I go on date! I make sure you have good time!
Ranma: Okay... I'll see you here at 7:00.
Shampoo: (nodding vigourously) I be here!
[Ranma walks out and fails to notice Mousse following him. Mousse trails him
around a corner and then throws a bucket of water on him. Ranma-onna acks and
turns around.]
Ranma-onna: Hey! What's the big idea?!
Mousse: You plan to date Shampoo tonight! I shall do all that I can to stop
it!
Ranma-onna: Well... That'll be a lot of nothing!
Mousse: Do not mock me! I will kill you first!
[Mousse hurls a set of Turbo Ginsu (TM) (C) steak knives at Ranma-onna, who
deftly dodges them. Ranma jumps and kicks Mousse in the face, knocking his
glasses off. Mousse hurls a set of garden tools and then leaps into the air,
and is kicked in the back by Ranma-onna. He rolls and slashes with his claws.
Ranma-onna barely avoids them, but gets a punch in. Mousse lands hard in a
mud puddle... a cold mud puddle.]
Ranma-onna: (looks at Muu-muu-chan) Mousse! Sometimes you just quack me up!
[Muu-muu-chan fumes as Ranma-onna runs back to school.]
Ranma-onna: (looks at clock) Kuso! I'm late! I don't even have time to change
back!
[Ranma-onna is about to run into the building when she is swept up by Kunou.]
Kunou: My darling! I have yearned for you!
Ranma-onna: (flatly) Oh... Sempai...
Kunou: Yes. It is I! I know my presence sends thrills through you. It is hard
being this perfect...but I shall strive to live with it.
[Ranma-onna is about to hit Kunou, when she has an idea.]
Ranma-onna: (cute) Oh! Sempai! If I don't go, I'll be late!
Kunou: Do not worry, my love. I shall speak with the sensei and explain that
your lateness was due to the blossoming of true love!
[Kunou carries Ranma-onna up the stairs to room 1-F. He walks in and puts
Ranma-onna on the floor, much to the bemusement of the class.]
Kunou: Greetings, Sensei! I have come to explain the lateness of the pigtailed
girl.
Sensei: Oh? Well?
Kunou: She and I have been courting... We were so lost together that time
slipped away. I give my profoundest appologies and beg for you to
forgive her for her indescression.
Sensei: I fear the indescression may not have been lateness...
[The class stare as Kunou walks out, and gapes as Ranma-onna takes her seat.]
Akane: You really are a pervert aren't you? Flirting with Kunou!
Ranma-onna: Hey! It got me out of trouble!
Akane: You're unbelievable!
[Akane subsides as the sensei frowns at her. The rest of the afternoon passes
and Ranma-onna and Akane walk home, not talking to each other. When they
arrive, Ranma-onna goes to the bathroom and changes back, then goes and
dresses. At about 6:30, he is ready to leave. He walks quickly out of the
house and heads for the Nekohanten. Unbeknownst to him, Mousse is following
him, again. He arrives at the restraunt and goes in.]
Ranma: (to Cologne) Hey! Bakemono! Where is Shampoo?
Cologne: 1. I am not a bakemono. 2. Shampoo is out the back getting ready. She
will be out in a moment... But tell me, have you made a decision
yet...? Time is running out!
Ranma: If I had decided, I wouldn't be here looking at your roadkill face,
now would I?
Cologne: (baps him) You will marry Shampoo!
Ranma: Not in this lifetime!
[Shampoo walks out of the back wearing a sexy red dress.]
Shampoo: (seductively) Nihao... Ranma...
Ranma: Er... Hi.
Shampoo: (rubs against him) We go now?
Ranma: Er... Yeah... You look really good in that dress!
Shampoo: You should see me out of dress!
Rnama: (turns red) Um... We'd better go.
Shampoo: Okay...
[Shampoo puts her arm through his and they walk out of the Nekohanten. Mousse
watches from behind a potted plant.]
Mousse: (thought) I must destroy this date.
[He does not see Cologne hop up behind him. She has a glass of water in her
hand.]
Cologne: Do not interfere, Mousse. It is a while since I made Peking Duck...
I could use a little practice!
[Cologne throws the water on Mousse and then picks up the duck and puts it in
a cage.]
Cologne: That should keep the Harry Houdini of the aviary world busy for a
while!
[Mousse sits forlornly in the cage, his plan foiled.]
[Ranma and Shampoo have arrived at a restraunt. (A different one due to the
explosion damage to the other) They go in and sit down. The service here is
faster and they are soon into the first course.]
Ranma: You like this, Shampoo?
Shampoo: Is okay... Not as good as my cooking!
Ranma: Heh... I guess you could say that...
Shampoo: Ranma...
Ranma: Yeah?
Shampoo: Why you keep on like this?
Ranma: What do you mean?
Shampoo: Why you pretend to choose wife? You know I best choice. I cook for
you. Look after you. Love you. Know how to make you happy!
Ranma: (flustered) Well... I...
Shampoo: Is silly! You know you have no choice! You must marry me. Law say
so... Besides I best wife anyway!
Ranma: I don't care about that law. You know that. I will marry whichever one
of you I love the most. So don't try to mess me around... Just... be
you.
Shampoo: You know me. What point?
Ranma: I don't really know you. I've never been alone with you for more than
five mintues! I don't know how I feel...
Shampoo: Why you not say?! Is easy! I show you who Shampoo is!
[The conversation continues, Shampoo verbally bludgeoning Ranma. He is
pounded all through the rest of dinner. Outside, Mousse is watching the
goings on jealously.]
Mousse: It took me a while to get out of that cage. It's hard to hold lock
picks when you're a duck! Now... How do I get rid of Ranma...?
[Ranma and Shampoo walk out of the restraunt. Shampoo is pulling on his arm
and is trying to drag him along. He is resisting and letting her tug futilely
on his arm. She eventually gives up and walks at his pace. Mousse flits
through the shadows, following them.]
Ranma: Shampoo... If I were to marry you... What would we do?
Shampoo: (rubs against him) Have BIG family! Many children!
Ranma: (turns red) I was thinking in the more immediate sense...
Shampoo: Oh. (shrugs) You husband. I wife. Wife obey husband. I do what you
say.
Ranma: Oh. Well... It's just that I might go to college...
Shampoo: That okay... I go with you.
Ranma: (flatly) Great...
Shampoo: Shampoo think so, too.
Ranma: What about if I marry someone else?
Shampoo: (coldly) I kill. I MUST marry you. There no alternative!
Ranma: You have to realize that I may choose one of the others...
Shampoo: No! I marry you!
Ranma: ...
Shampoo: No worry. I protect you from Akane!
Ranma: Pity about my ofukuro, Dad, Mr. Tendou, Akane, Ucchan, Mousse and
Kodachi!
Shampoo: Is small matter...
Ranma: We'd have to leave Japan!
Shampoo: Aiya! Go back to China! Much nicer than Japan!
Ranma: Hey! I live here!
Shampoo: You like it in village.
Ranma: I didn't have much luck there last time!
Shampoo: Was misunderstanding. I say I sorry.
Ranma: Yeah... Say. Where are we going?
Shampoo: To good spot.
Ranma: (wary) Good spot for what?
Shampoo: (evilly) You see...
[Shampoo drags him on. They cross a park and go into Furinkan High. Shampoo
belts the newly repaired doors down and takes him to the roof.]
Ranma: (thought) I don't beleive it.
[Ranma and Shampoo walk out onto the roof of the clock tower. Mousse sneaks
out also, and hides in the shadows. Ranma and Shampoo sit down at the edge of
the roof. Ranma is wearing a somewhat bemused and troubled expression.]
Shampoo: What wrong, Ranma?
Ranma: I dunno... Just all of this...
Shampoo: What? You no like?
Ranma: No, it's not that... Just the whole decision thing... It's kinda hard.
Shampoo: I help. I tell you I show what Shampoo like. Now I show!
[Shampoo grabs Ranma and plants her lips on his. He flails like a faulty
windmill for a moment and then joins in.]
Ranma: (thought) She's not giving me the electric feeling... Why? She's
gorgeous...
[In the shadows, Mousse is fuming with rage.]
Mousse: (thought) Saotome! How dare you take advantage of Shampoo?!
[Shampoo pushes against Ranma, laying him down.]
Ranma: Shampoo... What are you...
Shampoo: I showing you who I am...
[Shampoo sits on Ranma and begins to undo his shirt.]
Ranma: Shampoo...
Shampoo: Shhh... You just enjoy...
[Shampoo takes Ranma's shirt off revealing his chest. Mousse rages in
silence.]
Mousse: (thought) I must wait for the right moment...
Ranma: (to Shampoo) We.. shouldn't...
Shampoo: I love you... Want to show you... Besides... We know you choose me...
Ranma: (thought) She's so beautiful... (thinks of Akane) But... She doesn't
make me feel they way...Akane...does.
[Shampoo takes of her gloves and starts to unbutton her dress. Mousse can take
no more.]
Mousse: (leaps out) NOOOOOOO!!!!
[Ranma and Shampoo turn to look at him. Shampoo gasps and does her dress up.
Ranma jumps up and faces Mousse.]
Ranma: What are you doing here, Mousse? Getting a cheap thrill?
Shampoo: Mousse! What you doing?!
Mousse: (to Ranma) I will not allow you to take advantage of Shampoo!
Shampoo: Fool! I taking advantage!
Mousse: I love you! I cannot allow him to have you!
Ranma: Mousse... Just calm down...
Mousse: No! I will destroy you this time!
[Ranma steps into his guard position, a cold expression on his face.]
Ranma: Fine. I don't care. I can take you any day!
[Mousse charges at Ranma. Ranma ducks under Mousse's claws and kicks him in
the stomach. Mousse counters, throwing a smoke bomb. Ranma kicks it out of
the air, hitting Mousse in the face. Mousse falls over, stunned. Ranma and
Shampoo start to walk away.]
Ranma: Face it, Mousse... You're out of your league!
[Mousse leaps to his feet and charges after them. He is about to hit Ranma,
when Ranma and Shampoo both turn and punch him in the face. He staggers
back dizzily.]
Shampoo: Go 'way, Mousse! Ranma my husband! You no can beat me! You no can
beat him!
Mousse: But I love you...
Shampoo: I not care!
[Ranma and Shampoo walk over to the edge of the roof. They are silouetted in
the moon. Mousse leaps to his feet, screams his rage and throw his multi
bladed attack.]
Mousse: YAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! DIE, SAOTOME!!
[Ranma and Shampoo turn as Mousse lunges at them. Ranma grabs Shampoo and
jumps straight up. Mousse goes under and Ranma kicks him off the roof. Ranma
lands and turns, Shampoo is still in his arms. They see Mousse fall to the
ground below. There is a crash and a puff of dust.]
Ranma: Hey, Mousse! You can only fly in duck form!
Shampoo: He very silly! Why he try that? He no can beat you.
Ranma: (shrugs) Beats me.
[Ranma puts Shampoo down.]
Ranma: We'd beter go. All this noise might attract attention...and we're not
supposed to be here!
Shampoo: (nods) Okay. We go. Is pity...
[Ranma and Shampoo walk out of the school, stepping around a Mousse-shaped
hole in the ground. They go back to the Nekohanten, wher Cologne is just
closing up.]
Cologne: So... Muko-dono... Have you decide to marry Shampoo yet?
Ranma: I haven't decided, bakemono!
Cologne: I am not a bakemono!
Ranma: Just a mutant.
Cologne: (baps him) Or a mutant!
Ranma: It's hard to tell...
Shampoo: Stop that. This silly. (To Cologne) Hibbaa-chan, Mousse try to mess
up date.
Cologne: I put him in his cage... But he got out. What did he do?
Shampoo: (proudly) Nothing. Ranma too skilled for him to fight!
Cologne: Yes. Mousse has no chance in combat against you, Muko-dono. I can
make you better. Marry Shampoo and I will teach you all I know...
Ranma: That ought to take about thirty seconds!
Cologne: (baps him) The first lesson will be respect!
Ranma: I'll skip it. I failed that subject anyway!
[Ranma turns to go.]
Cologne: You are forgetting something!
Ranma: (turns) What?
Cologne: You should kiss your bride goodnight.
Ranma: Not in front of you!
Cologne: (leaves) Fine. I shall leave you alone.
[Ranma looks at Shampoo, who is smiling.]
Ranma: Well... Er... Goodnight.
[Shampoo takes his face in hand and guides it to hers. They kiss for a moment
and then Ranma pulls away.]
Ranma: I have to go.
Shampoo: (huskily) Wo ii ne...
[Ranma gives her a nervous smile and walks quickly away. Meanwhile, Mousse
crawls out of the hole.]
Mousse: I shall have Shampoo yet.
[Ranma walks back to the doujou. He walks in and finds the entire family
sitting around. They have obviously been waiting, but are pretending to be
otherwise occupied. Nodoka, Genma and Souun are back from Osaka.]
Nodoka: How was your date?
Ranma: Apart from having to kick Mousse off a four story building? Fine.
Akane: So you had fun, eh?
Ranma: It was okay.
Genma: So, son... You've been out with each of them, which one is your choice?
[Everyone suddenly becomes very interested.]
Ranma: I don't know yet! I have to think about it!
Akane: (sarcastically) That could take forever!
[Ranma glares at her, causing her to look away, embarresed. He then goes up
to his room and get's ready for bed. Turning the light off, he lies down. Soon
the rest of the household go to bed also. Ranma is left staring at the
darkened ceiling. Finally he drifts off.]
[Ranma finds himself in a strangely familiar place. There is nothing out but a
dull white all around him. He looks around and sees a figure come out of the
fog. It is his other form.]
Ranma: I was wanting to talk to you again.
Ranma-onna: I know. That is why I have brought you here.
Ranma: You said there was a right choice... How do I know which one it is?
Ranma-onna: You already know the answer to that question. It has been in your
heart a long time.
Ranma: Do you mean that tingly electric feeling Akane gives me?
Ranma-onna: You must interpret it in your own way. I cannot say more, lest I
alter the outcome.
Ranma: Are you really part of me?
Ranma-onna: We are of one body, but of two minds...
Ranma: Huh?!
Ranma-onna: It is not important. Suffice to say that I know what is the right
course.
Ranma: But I can't decide!
Ranma-onna: You have already decided. In your heart...you know the answer.
Ranma: I... (bows head) I have...
Ranma-onna: You must now accept what you know to be the truth. You will best
do this by going somewhere where you can be alone.
Ranma: I guess I'll have to go away. There's never any peace around here!
Ranma-onna: A new road lies ahead, Ranma. You must have the strength to walk
it...
Ranma: I can do it!
Ranma-onna: Can you? You can't even admit you love her yet! You must crawl
before you can walk.
[She starts to walk back into the fog.]
Ranma: Wait! Will I see you again?
Ranma-onna: (turns, smiles) No. You can cope on your own from here. Goodbye,
Ranma...and good luck. She loves you...a lot...
[Ranma stares for a moment as she disapears. He glances around for a moment
and then all goes dark. He awakens and sits up in bed, bathed in sweat.]
Ranma: Oh! Geez... That was weird... What if she's right... I need to figure
this out!
[Ranma gets up and packs his backpack. He then silently sneaks down to the
dinner table and writes a note. He then opens the door quietly and steps out
into the night.]
[Tendou Doujou, Morning]
Kasumi: OH MY! RANMA IS GONE!!
[Akane sits up, woken by her sisters voice. She gets up and runs down to the
dining room. Everyone else is already there.]
Kasumi: Ranma has left a letter. He says that he has gone away to make a
decision and that he'll return when he's made up his mind...
Apparently he had another dream that told him to go...
Akane: I knew it! He's finally gone crazy!
Nabiki: He'd better come back! My betting pool is hanging on him!
Nodoka: This is terrible! Why would he do such a thing?
Genma: Don't worry! He can look after himself! I trained him well!
Nodoka: This is hard time for him. His family should be around him.
Kasumi: Actually... He was trying to get way from us.
Akane: That'd be right! What a fool!
[The family goes back to preparing for the day. Akane and Nabiki leave for
school a short time later. On the way, they are joined by Ukyou.]
Ukyou: Where's Ran-chan?
Akane: He went off to find the inner truth... Or something like that...
Ukyou: Has he gone alternative or something?
Akane: (exhasperated) With Ranma... Who knows?
Ukyou: I hope he's okay...
Akane: What? You don't think he can look after himself?
Ukyou: Of course I do! I was just thinking that he must be feeling very alone.
Akane: I think that was the whole idea of his trip!
Ukyou: I meant inside. If he couldn't stay, it means he's finding it hard to
live here... That's got to be at least partly our fault!
Akane: He's been stressed since his ofukuro told him he had to choose.
Ukyou: Yes, and it looks like it finally got to him!
Akane: (sighs) Well... We don't know where he is... so we can't do anything
about it.
Ukyou: I guess so.
Nabiki: Still... He'd better come back or I'm dead! I don't have enough
capital to cover a return of bets placed!
Akane: Well... You'll just have to hope... Like the rest of us...
[They walk the rest of the way in silence. Akane and Ukyou wondering how
Ranma is, and Nabiki wondering how much a one way ticket to Brazil is.]
[In The Mountains, At the Same Time]
[Ranma is camped in a small glade. He is hanging from a tree, doing chin ups.]
Ranma: 71...72...73...74...75!
[He stops and drops to the ground, ten feet below.]
Ranma: Whew! That was good! It's so nice not to have to worry about getting
into a fight or making Akane mad... I forgot how peaceful it was!
[Ranma goes off into the woods, jogging laps of the clearing. A little later,
he returns and sits down on his camp bed.]
Ranma: This is great...but I've only got three days... I have to decide...
What to do? Grrr! It's still so hard! Do I really love Akane?
(pictures her in his mind) (sighs) Yes... I do...
[Tendou Doujou, Afternoon]
[Akane and Nabiki walk into the house and find Ryouga there.]
Akane: Oh! Ryouga! What are you doing here?
Ryouga: I wanted to speak with you...
Akane: Can it wait, Ryouga? I need you to do something for me.
Ryouga: (looks proud) Of course. I will gladly help! What do you want me to
do?
Akane: Ranma has gone off somewhere. I want you to go and find him and tell
him to come home.
Ryouga: (deflatesa bit) But... How will I... Where is...
Akane: I don't know where he is... Just go up into the mountains. He probably
there.
Ryouga: Why did he go?
Akane: Because he decided that he couldn't decide who he wanted to marry
while he was here.
Ryouga: Don't worry Akane-san, I shall find him! (thought) What I do then is
another thing entirely!
Akane: (smiles) Thanks, Ryouga-kun. You're such a reliable friend.
[Ryouga smiles and then walks out of the house. He goes off down the street,
heading in the general direction of the mountains.]
[The Nekohanten, At the Same Time]
[Shampoo is sitting at a table and sulking. Mousse is sitting across from her.
He has a black eye and appears to have been trying to cheer her up.]
Shampoo: It not fair! Why he go away?!
Mousse: Because he doesn't love you! Isn't it obvious?!
Shampoo: (punches him) No. I know! I go find him!
Mousse: (nasaly) If you really loved him, you'd trust him to decide on his
own!
[Mousse's last words earn him another punch as Shampoo gets up to get her
pack. She packs it and goes out. Mousse unsteadily follows her.]
[Tendou Doujou, A Little Later]
[Akane is sitting on the floor at the table. She looks pensive and annoyed.]
Akane: I've had enough of waiting! I'm going to find him!
Nabiki: You don't know where he is! If you go off, all you'll do is wander
around like Ryouga!
Akane: Well, it's better than sitting here twiddling my thumbs and going
crazy!
Nabiki: Whatever...
[Akane gets up and goes to her room. She pulls out a well worn pack and
throws a few items into it. She then closes it and goes back downstairs.
Nodoka, Genma and Soun are there.]
Souun: Akane. Where are you going?
Akane: I'm going to look for Ranma!
Nodoka: Ranma went away to be alone. I think we should respect that.
Akane: This isn't like Ranma. There must be something wrong!
Nodoka: (sighs) I guess you're right. We may as well go and set our minds at
rest.
Genma: Yes. It's a good idea.
Souun: I'll organize some transport...
[They all go off to organize things.]
[Tendou Doujou, An Hour Later]
[Everyone has piled into a minibus that Soun has procured from somewhere.]
Soun: It's a long time since I drove a car... Still... It's like falling off
a horse... You just get back on!
Nabiki: We're letting him drive?!
Kasumi: No one else knows how.
Nabiki: Great... Hey! I'll take bets on what we crash into!
Akane: Pass.
Kasumi: No.
Nodoka: Not today.
Soun: Where does the key go?
Everyone: (collective groan) Oooooeeeerr....
[Kunou Mansion, At The Same Time]
Kunou: So... The cowardly Saotome Ranma has run to the mountains to escape
my justice. Bah! I will go there and crush him. SASUKE!!
Sasuke: (appearing next to him) You bellowed, Master Kunou?
Kunou: Yes. Prepare my equipment. I am going into the mountains!
Sasuke: Yes. Master Kunou. (disapears)
Kodachi: (walking in) If my Ranma-sama is there, I shall accompany you on this
journey.
Kunou: Indeed, sister. If you must...
[In The Mountains, At The Same Time]
[Ranma is enjoying his peace and quiet, and is conspicuously ignoring the
decision he is meant to be making. He is peacefully unaware of the mob that
is about to decend on him.]
Ranma: (doing sit ups) I've really gotta think about this... I can't put it
off much more...
[He shrugs and goes back to his workout.]
[Ucchan's, A Little Later]
[The van pulls up outside and the horn honks. Ukyou comes out and sees a van
filled with Tendous and Saotomes.]
Ukyou: What's going on? Where is everybody going?
Akane: We're going to find Ranma. I figured you'd want to come along.
Ukyou: Yes! Of course.
[Ukyou jumps in and they drive off.]
Nabiki: (as they move off) Are you sure about this?
[Meanwhile, In The Mountains]
[Ryouga is walking along a trail and looking for Ranma.]
Ryouga: Heh! When I find Ranma, I can beat him to a pulp without interuption.
I'll even be doing what Akane told me to do, too! Hahahahahahahaha!
[A Short Distance Away, At The Same Time]
[Ranma looks up from his lying position on the ground.]
Ranma: What was that? It sounded like a...laugh?
[The Van, A While Later]
[The Tendou and Saotome van is cruising along a highway. Genma has a map in
hand. He appears to be trying to navigate.]
Genma: Ok. I think I've got it now! If we turn at the next left...we should
get into the forest.
Souun: Are you sure? That's what you said at the last three turns...and we
ended up in a garbage dump!
Genma: This is complex map!
Nodoka: And you are a simple man.
[General laughter runs through the van.]
[In The Mountains, A While Later]
[Ranma is sitting on the ground, looking up at the sky. All of a sudden there
is a mass of noise. The sound of cars pulling up and others running is heard.
Ranma sits up and looks around. Ryouga is standing on one side of the
clearing. Mousse and Shampoo are at another. There is a black Mercedes on
another side. On the remaining side is a minibus. Ranma looks around as Kunou
gets out of the Mercedes and Akane and the others get out of the van.]
Ranma: What the hell is going on?!
[Everyone gathers around him.]
Ranma: What is this? Why are you all here?!
Akane: We miss you, Ranma. We want you to come home.
[Tendous and Saotomes nod.]
Shampoo: Shampoo miss you, too!
Kodachi: And I, Ranma-sama!
Ranma: I came here to get away from you all! How did you find me?!
Ryouga: I led them here!
Ranma: (falls over laughing) You?! Hahahahahahahaha!
Akane: Please come home, Ranma. We promise to let you think in peace...
Right?
[Everyone nods in agreement.]
Ranma: (shakes head) No. I was told to come here to think... Now will you all
GO AWAY!
Everyone: But...
Ranma: NOW!!
Everyone: ...
Ranma: HIRYUU-SHOU-TEN...
[Everyone scatters as Ranma powers up for his special attack. They run off
and pile into the cars and drive away.]
[In the Van, A Few Moments Later]
Nabiki: Geez! He was gonna fry us! He must be tense!
Nodoka: Yes. It is not like him...
Akane: I wonder why he's so upset...
Ukyou: Well... He was trying to come to grips with his feelings... Maybe we
shouldn't have disturbed him...
Akane: I guess it was a bad idea...
Everyone: Hmmmm...
[In The Mountains, A Little Later]
[Ranma is sitting under a tree.]
Ranma: I can't believe they came all the way up here... I thought I was far
enough away!
[Tendou Dojo]
[Several days pass and still Ranma does not return. Everyone sits around
looking agitated. Akane mopes around, pensive and nervous. Ukyou tries to
keep busy, but cannot help thinking of Ranma. Shampoo fumes in impotent
rage and takes her anger out on the long suffering Mousse.]
[In The Mountains]
[Ranma is still at his campsite.]
Ranma: (thought) There's no point in denying it any longer... It's just like
she said... I have the answer... I just have to accept it... but...
how? Do I really love Akane? (pause) Yes. She was the only one who
made me feel different... I guess that's it...
[Ranma stands up and looks around, scowling.]
Ranma: (shouts) I LOVE HER! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I LOVE HER! I LOVE AKANE!!!
[Ranma slumps down on the ground and sighs.]
Ranma: This is so strange...but it's true...
[Tendou Doujou, Two Days Later]
[Akane is sitting at the dinner table with Nodoka.]
Akane: Where is he? It can't take that long to decide!
Nodoka: We must trust him. If he does not return... I will decide...
Akane: (swallows) Who will you tell him to marry?
Nodoka: I will ensure he honors his fathers promise...
Akane: I see... Which one?
[The Nekohanten, On The Third Day]
[Cologne is talking to Shampoo, Ukyou, Ryouga, Kunou and Kodachi.]
Cologne: Ranma has failed to return from his trip. That means that his mother
will have him married to Tendou Akane by default. I intend to stop
that. Will you assist me in this matter?
Kunou: How do you intend to prevent this travesty?
Cologne: By taking Tendou Akane away so that he cannot have her.
Ryouga: She mustn't be hurt!
Cologne: Of course not... She will be removed until he marries someone else...
Ukyou: You're crazy! I'm not going to be a party to this! I won't let you hurt
Ran-chan!
Cologne: A pity. You would have been useful...
[Cologne pokes a nerve in Ukyou's neck and she passes out.]
Cologne: Put her somewhere safe... We don't want her getting loose too soon.
[Ukyou is put in a cuboard and then the others prepare to attack.]
Cologne: This is what we will do...
[On A Mountain Trail, At The Same Time]
[Ranma is walking quickly along the trail.]
Ranma: Kuso! I didn't realize how much time had passed... I'll be late!
[Tendou Doujou, A Little Later]
[Akane is sitting in her room.]
Akane: (to herself) Ranma... Where are you?
[There is a knock from outside.]
Nodoka: Akane. Could you come downstairs?
Akane: Okay!
[Akane goes downstairs and finds her family and Mr. and Mrs. Saotome waiting.]
Akane: What is this...?
Nodoka: It is time to discuss that matter of engagement...
Akane: But Ranma isn't back...
Nodoka: Since Ranma has failed to return... My hand has been forced... I must
make a decision. Therefore... Ranma will marry Akane and keep the
promise. That will save everyone's honor.
[Cologne, Shampoo, Ryouga, Kunou and Kodachi crash through the wall. Mousse
appears as well, but appears to be trying to stop Shampoo.]
Cologne: We will not allow that wedding to occur!
Nodoka: What sort of bakemono are you?
Cologne: I AM NOT A BAKEMONO!
Souun: This is no matter for you people. Get out of my house!
Kunou: Not until we are sure this wedding does not happen!
Genma: Then you'll be here forever!
Shampoo: Ranma will no marry Akane!
Nodoka, Genma, Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi, Mousse: Yes, he will!
Kodachi: Then you will all have to die!
[A fight breaks out between the two groups. Kunou attacks Genma, knocking him
into the pond. Shampoo attacks Akane, who ducks and dodges desperately.
Kodachi and Nodoka go one on one, neither able to take the advantage, and
Cologne is making short work of Soun. Ryouga stares, not sure whether to
interfere. Mousse is desperately trying to get Shampoo to stop.]
Shampoo: (to Akane) Now I kill you! You no have Ranma!
Akane: You think he'll want to marry you after you kill me?!
Shampoo: Once you not around, he forget you!
Akane: No, he won't!
Mousse: I will win you're love yet, Shampoo!
Kodachi: (to Nodoka) It is a pity I must fight my mother-in-law...but then...
mother's in law are hell, anyway!
Nodoka: You want my son as well?
Kodachi: Of course. Ranma-sama and I are getting married!
Nodoka: Since when?
Kodachi: Since I decided!
[The fight continues unabated.]
[Nerima Street, At The Same Time]
[Ranma is walking along when he sees Ukyou running towards him.]
Ranma: Hi, Ucchan.
Ukyou: (out of breath) Ran-chan! Thank goodness I found you! Cologne and
some others are planning to do something to your family so that you
don't marry Akane!
Ranma: WHAT?! Come on!
[They run through the town and reach the doujou. The fight is going on in all
it's fury and doesn't look like ending soon.]
Ranma: Stop it! All of you!
[There is no response.]
Ukyou: What are you going to do?
Ranma: Break them up by force. (aura glows) HIRYUUSHOUTENHA! Revised
Horizontal Blast!
[Ranma's hurricane blast bursts through the room, blowing everyone outside.
Various stunned people sit on the ground, wordering what hit them. Everyone
look up as Ranma walks out.]
Ranma: I hope that calmed you all down a bit!
Akane: Ranma! You're back!
Ranma: Hi, Akane.
Nodoka: Ranma... Have you decided on your choice?
Ranma: Yeah... Now... What is all this about?
Akane: Shampoo and the bakemono... and them (waves a hand) were trying to beat
up our family and take me away!
Ranma: Why?
Akane: So you couldn't marry me!
Ranma: Oh.
Nodoka: Now... Ranma... I think you'd better tell us who you are going to
marry.
Ranma: Er... Okay.
[Ranma stands in front of the assembled group, they are all waiting on his
words. Akane looks nervous, Shampoo confident, Ukyou calm. Kunou appears
angry, Mousse suspicious and Ryouga bemused. Ranma's parents appear
interested and Souun appears to have had a stroke.]
Ranma: I have decided-
Everyone: Who is it?! Come on tell us! Spit it out!
Ranma: First, I want to tell you how I made my decision. In my dream, the
female me told me that I had to make a decision. She said I had the
answer and I just needed to find it. She was right. Having dated each
of my three fiancees (Kodachi looks annoyed) and tested my feelings...
it came down to a simple matter. I found that one of them, and only
one, gave me a special feeling whenever she touched me...
Nabiki: Quit with the drama! I've got money riding on this!
Kasumi: Hush, Nabiki! Let him speak.
Ranma: Fine. The one who gave me that feeling was...
[He walks over to face Akane. She stares.]
Ranma: Akane. She is the one... And...if she'll have me... I want to marry
her... (he kneels in front of Akane) I love you, Akane. Will you marry
me?
Akane: I...
[Everyone stares, waiting for her answer. Akane's mind tumbles down, spinning
in chaotic circles as she tries to comprehend what is happening.]
Akane: (thought) He...wants to marry me... I... Can I...? Do...do I love
him...? After so long... He finally..wants me... I... Isn't this what
I dreamed of? I should... Why do I feel so...so... Scared...
[Akane looks at Ranma's hopeful, expectant face. Seeing the emotion in his
eyes and the seriousness of his manner, she finally comes to an answer.]
Akane: (thought) Yes. I do love him.
[Akane drops to her knees, facing him.]
Akane: (resolute expression) Yes, Ranma. I will marry you.
Ranma: (smiles widely) Really?!
Akane: (nods)
Souun & Genma: HOOOOORAAAAY!
Kunou, Kodachi, Shampoo, Ryouga, Ukyou and Cologne: NOOOOOOOO!
[Ranma turns angrilly to face them.]
Ranma: I've had enough of you interfering! Get out of here right now!
[They look about ready to attack, when a sudden breeze begins to whip around
then. It swirls about, gathering around Ranma's right fist. They grudgingly
trudge out the gate. As they go, Nodoka walks over to Ranma and Akane and
hugs them both.]
Nodoka: I am so happy for you!
Ranma: Thank's, Ofukuro.
Akane: Yes. Thank you...
Nodoka: Now we have to start planning the wedding!
Ranma & Akane: Ack!
Ranma: Er... Why so soon?
Nodoka: Why wait?
Ranma & Akane: But...
[That evening wedding plans are made. Afterwards, Ranma goes and sits on the
doujou roof. He is joined a short time later by Akane.]
Akane: Ranma...
Ranma: Yeah?
Akane: Was it true...?
Ranma: Was what true?
Akane: About how I make you feel...
Ranma: Of course. It was the thing that told me you were the one.
Akane: I'm glad you chose me!
Ranma: I'm glad I chose you, too.
Akane: Do you think things will calm down now? Now that you've decided.
Ranma: No. I think things will get worse.
Akane: But we don't have to fight anymore!
Ranma: We've fought from the day we met. I don't think it'll stop just like
that... But we know how we feel now...and that's a start.
Akane: I'm willing to try if you are.
Ranma: And I'm willing to try if you don't cook.
Akane: Ranma!
Ranma: (sheepish) Sorry! Habit.
Akane: I'll let it pass... This time!
Ranma: (changing the subject) At least our parents didn't try to get us
married straight away.
Akane: Yes. It gives us a little time...
Ranma: Two weeks isn't exactly an eternity!
Akane: We don't need much time. We have been engaged for a long time...
Ranma: Yeah... But we've never been very serious about it!
Akane: Well it's a little bit too late to be thinking about that now!
Ranma: Oh, well! I guess we have to make the best of it!
Akane: No regrets?
Ranma: No regrets!
Akane: (nods) Good! Well... I think I'll turn in... See you tommorow!
Ranma: If I'm still alive!
Akane: Why wouldn't you be?
Ranma: Becuase there are about half a dozen very irate martial artists baying
for my blood!
Akane: I'm sure they'll calm down.
Ranma: I hope so! Kunou's already tried to assassinate me twice!
Akane: (laughs) Well... Good night!
Ranma: 'Night.
[Ranma sits on the roof for a while, looking at the stars.]
Ranma: (thought) I can't beleive it! I love Akane...and I admitted it...
publicly! Hmmm... I guess things have finally come full circle...
[Ukyou jumps up onto the roof and walks over to him.]
Ukyou: A yen for your thoughts?
Ranma: Huh?! Oh... Ucchan... Hi. Umm... I...I'm sorry...
Ukyou: It's alright Ran-chan... I'm not angry... Hurt...miserable...and
crushed... But not angry... If Akane is your choice... Then I'll
support you. I love you, Ran-chan... Whatever make you happy, makes
me happy.
[Ukyou's expression belies her words, increasing Ranma's guilt.]
Ranma: (hugs her) Thank's, Ucchan. I love you, too. I couldn't make it without
you! You're still my best friend.
Ukyou: Friends... Always?
Ranma: Yes... Always.
Ukyou: Good. How are you doing?
Ranma: Okay. I've avoided all attempts on my life so far...
Ukyou: Do think things will calm down?
Ranma: Not until after the wedding...or I die... Whichever comes first.
Ukyou: Don't worry, Ran-chan! I'm with you!
Ranma: (smiles) Thanks.
[At this point Ryouga, Kunou, Shampoo, and Kodachi jump onto the roof. Ranma
leaps to his feet.]
Ranma: Don't you people know when you're not wanted?! Get off!
Kunou: Not until we have destroyed you!
Ranma: (takes stance) You won't live that long!
Shampoo: Why you say you marry Akane? You marry me!
Ranma: No. I chose Akane...and I stand by that!
Ukyou: As do I!
Kodachi: You don't want him to marry her! Why are you helping him?!
Ukyou: Because Ran-chan is my friend! I have some loyalty! Unlike you!
Ryouga: Loyalty counts for nothing if your heart is in tatters!
Ukyou: Mine is! But I still know what is right!
Ranma: If you guys want a fight... You've got one!
[Mousse appears from the ether.]
Mousse: Wait! Why fight? It's all decided. Ranma is marrying Akane... Nothing
can change that now! We should stop fighting! We can be at peace now!
Shampoo: Can change until wedding!
Mousse: Then I must assist Ranma... So that he will marry Akane... As it
should be!
Ranma: Are you sure?
Mousse: Of course. You have made right choice, Ranma. Don't let anyone change
that.
[The two groups face off. Ranma, Ukyou and Mousse Vs. Kunou, Kodachi, Shampoo
and Ryouga.]
Ranma: Ukyou. You take Kodachi. Mousse, take Kunou. I'll deal with Ryouga and
Shampoo!
Ukyou & Mousse: Right!
[The battle is joined. Mousse attacks Kunou with his blades, shattering
Kunou's bokken. Ukyou sweeps Kodachi's legs and slaps her in the back with
her giant spatula. Ranma ducks and weaves, dodging Ryouga's and Shampoo's
attacks.]
Ranma: You guys can't win! Even if you beat me, I still win!
Ryouga: How?
Ranma: Akane thinks you're a pig! She's not going to like you killing her
husband!
Ryouga: You're not her husband yet! She doesn't even want to marry you!
Ranma: Really? Why did she say yes, then?!
Ryouga: Ummm...
Ranma: Exactly!
[While Ryouga is distracted, Ranma kicks him off the roof and into the pond.
Shampoo takes an advantage and smacks Ranma in the back with her Bonbori.]
Ranma: Arrrr! Watch it!
Shampoo: If I no can have you... No one can!
Ranma: (ducks swipe) Shampoo... I've never hit you on purpose before...but
you're trying my patience!
[Shampoo scores a glancing blow, knocking Ranma dizzy. He staggers for a
moment as Shampoo raises her mace for the killing blow. Suddenly Shampoo is
struck from behind.]
Akane: No one hits my fiancee and gets away with it!
Ranma: Akane?!
Akane: This one's mine, Ranma. (to Shampoo) It's time we had this out!
Shampoo: Now I kill you and get Ranma back!
[Mousse has used his chains to tie Kunou up and is helping Ukyou with Kodachi.
Ranma looks around, there is someone missing. Suddenly Cologne leaps onto the
roof.]
Cologne: Greetings, Muko-dono. You didn't really think we had gone, did you?!
Ranma: I can hope!
Cologne: You must marry Shampoo!
[This statement distracts Kodachi.]
Kodachi: No! Ranma-sama is mine!
[Ukyou and Mousse finish her off, then join Ranma.]
Mousse: Face it, Bakemono! You have lost! You have been beaten by a superior
force!
Cologne: I'm not done yet! (whistles) I still have my secret weapon!
[Cologne looks around.]
Cologne: Where is Happousai?
Ranma: (laughing) The pervert is your secret weapon?! Hahahahahaha! He's at
the bottom of a filled in well in Osaka in a bucket of concrete!
Cologne: Ummm...
[The three dogpile on Cologne and tie her up.]
Ranma: Now... Where did Ofukuro put that quick dry cement?
Mousse: I might have some...
[Cologne pales.]
Cologne: No! Don't put me in a hole with Happi!
Mousse: A suitable punishment for your crimes.
[Akane and Shampoo are still going at it hammer and tongs. Shampoo has been
disarmed, but is still dishing out the damage. Akane is taking a pounding,
but is giving as good as she is getting.]
Ukyou: (looking at Akane and Shampoo) Um... Ran-chan...
Ranma: What?
Ukyou: I think you'd better go help Akane.
Ranma: What?!
[Ranma spins around and sees the fight going on. He runs over.]
Ranma: Akane, get back! Let me take her!
Akane: NO! I'll finish her!
Shampoo: (smiles) You one who finished!
[Akane roars and kicks Shampoo. Shampoo rolls with the kick, but falls over
Kunou, who is still trussed up like a turkey. Akane pounces and steps on
Shampoo's face. Shampoo grabs her leg and trips her.]
Ranma: If you beat her, she'll give you the Kiss of Death!
Mousse: That's right! It is time I defeated her!
Shampoo: (contemptuously) You?! Hah! No chance!!
Mousse: I will win this time!
[Mousse leaps in and pushes Akane to Ranma. She stumbles a little, but he
catches her. He holds her for a moment before realizing. He starts to pull his
arms from around her body when she grabs them and puts them back on her waist.
He smiles sheepishly. Mousse attacks Shampoo, but she trips him and sends him
off the roof and into the pond. He lands on P-chan, who has just crawled out
of the water, sending him back in. Up on the roof, Ranma sighs and steps away
from Akane.]
Ranma: Shampoo... Don't make me have to beat you again! Just go! Marry Mousse.
He's not a bad guy. I have chosen Akane. That's not going to change!
Shampoo: (tears in her eyes) But I love you! I must have you!
Ranma: I'm pledged to another! Geez... That was pretty cheesy! (turns to
Akane) I can't believe I said that!
[Shampoo attacks him while he is looking away. She hits him with both maces,
one on each side of his head. His eyes roll up and he collapes.]
Akane: Ranma!
Ukyou: Ran-chan!
[They run over. Ranma appears to be unconscious. They get up and look
hatefully at Shampoo.]
Akane: You say you love him! How can you do this?!
Shampoo: (shrugs) I warn him! Marry me or die!
Ukyou: You've gone too far this this time!
Akane: Ukyou... Let's finish this!
Ukyou: (nods) Yes... For Ran-chan.
[Akane and Ukyou attack Shampoo. Ukyou slashes her with her spatula as Akane
punches her in the neck. Shampoo staggers but counters, kicking Ukyou into
the wall. Akane acts while Shampoo is off balance, triping her and then
roundhouse kicking her out of the air. Shampoo slams into the wall near Ukyou.
Ukyou chops down on Shampoo, hitting her in the ribs. Shampoo does a
breakdancing kick and decks Ukyou. Akane kicks her in the back as she gets up.
Shampoo somersaults away as Akane helps Ukyou up. Ukyou is a little stunned
and Akane is covered in bruises. Shampoo has fared worse however. She is
covered in cuts and bruises. She is leaning heavily to one side and cannot
walk proplerly. She glares balefully at Akane and Ukyou.]
Shampoo: Now I finish you!
Ukyou: Funny! You look beat!
Shampoo: So do you!
Akane: You can't beat both of us!
Shampoo: I win or die!
Akane: Fi- (stops and stares)
Ukyou: What the...
[Akane and Ukyou stare as Dr. Toufuu walks up behind Shampoo.]
Shampoo: What you staring at? You never hear life or death ultimatum before?!
Akane: Look behind you!
Shampoo: Hah! (does not turn) I not fall for that silly trick!
[Dr. Toufuu presses a nerve in Shampoo's neck. She crumples to the ground.]
Akane: Thank you, Toufuu-sensei. That was getting nasty!
Dr. Toufuu: I was just coming to see if Ranma had a made decision, when I saw
your little altercation. I gather Ranma decided and Shampoo didn't
like his choice.
Akane: You could say that!
Dr. Toufuu: (looks around) I guess I'd better patch up the injured... Being a
doctor is a twenty four hour a day job!
[He goes over to the comatose Ranma and sits him up. He presses a nerve and
massages Ranma's temples. Ranma groans and looks groggily around.]
Ranma: Where am I? Anybody get the number of that freight train? (shakes head)
Where's Akane?!
Akane: (sitting next to him) Right here!
Ranma: You're okay!
Akane: Of course!
Ranma: I'm glad. I thought Shampoo might have got you!
Akane: Ukyou and I were beating her when Toufuu-sensei showed up!
[Ranma looks around and sees Dr. Toufuu.]
Ranma: Oh. Hi, Sensei!
Dr. Toufuu: Hello Ranma. I take it you chose Akane?
Ranma: (nods) Yes. I did.
Dr. Toufuu: I'm glad. I always thought you were good for each other!
Ranma & Akane: You did?!
Dr. Toufuu: Certainly. You are always together. You are protective of each
other and you always make up after you fight. You are obviously
very close.
Akane: (looks at Ranma) I guess we are...
Ranma: (looks at Akane) Yeah... Ditto for me.
[Akane and Ukyou help Ranma up. Dr. Toufuu joins them as they walk into the
house, leaving those outside to fend for themselves. Kunou is still hog tied.]
Kunou: Hey! Release me! I am Tatawaki Kunou! I will not tolerate this! I will
be back! HahahahahahahahaaAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! (rolls off the roof)
[THUMP!!]
[Tendou Doujou, Morning]
[Akane gets up and dresses, then goes downstairs. Ranma is sitting at the
table, waiting for breakfast. She sits down next to him and, on the spur
of the moment, kisses him on the cheek. He looks up, surprised.]
Ranma: What was that for?
Akane: I don't know... It just sort of seemed right...
Ranma: (shrugs) Fair enough.
[Nodoka smiles as she enters with breakfast, having heard the entire thing.]
Nodoka: So... Are you two going to tell all your friends today?
Ranma: Well... Ukyou knows... So I don't have to tell anyone else.
Akane: I don't know... Should we?
Nodoka: I think they would like to know. I'm sure they will be very happy for
you!
Ranma: (shrugs) Kunou knows... So it can't do any more damage.
Akane: Well... If you're sure...
[They eat breakfast and then walk out of the house. As they walk, Akane puts
her hand in Ranma's. He looks over to her and smiles. They are joined shortly
after by Ukyou.]
Ukyou: Hi, Ran-chan! Hi, Akane.
Ranma: Hi, Ucchan.
Akane: Hello, Ukyou.
Ukyou: So... Are you going to confess all?
Ranma: Huh?
Ukyou: Are you going to tell everyone that you're getting married?
Ranma: Why do you ask?
Ukyou: (smiles) Oh... It should be interesting...
Akane: I might mention it to a few friends...
Ranma: I think I'd rather keep it under my hat... If I had one...
[They walk quickly to school, talking animatedly as they go. They arrived
shortly after and walk up to the building. They stop when they see Kunou. He
is on top of the clock tower and is glaring down at them.]
Kunou: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE BACK! I AM NOT FINISHED! AKANE
WILL NOT MARRY RANMA!
Entire School: Akane's marrying Ranma?!
Kunou: NOW YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE MIGHTY KUNOU TATEWAKI... THE BLUE
THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH!
[There is a crash of lightening, which hits the tower. Kunou lights up like a
roman candle and falls off the roof, smoking. He lands at Ranma and co.'s
feet.]
Ukyou: Ooh... Now THAT'S what I call a fall from grace!
[Ranma, Akane and Ukyou step over the crispy Kunou and go to class.]
[Furinkan High, Lunchtime]
[Ranma and Akane are being beseiged by questions from students... and Nabiki
is being beseiged by irate gamblers.]
Nabiki: I told you! It's a short term financial glitch! Rest assured... I'll
have your money by Monday! (runs away while being persued by
students)
Student #1: (to Ranma) Is it true that you and Akane are getting married?
Ranma: Er... Yes.
Student #1: Where's Tendou Nabiki?!
Student #2: She went thataway! (points where Nabiki has gone)
Sayuri: Akane! I can't believe it! You're finally going to marry him?!
Akane: Uh huh.
Sayuri: Why'd you change your mind?
Akane: Things happened...
Sayuri: You're so lucky! To find the right man so young!
Akane: (bemused) That's one way to look at it...
[Eventually Ranma and Akane get sick of the questions and leave. After class,
they go back to the doujou. Ranma puts his bag down and goes back out, not
saying where he is going. He runs down the street and heads to Ucchan's. A
few minutes later, he emerges with a big smile on his face. He then runs
back to the doujou.]
[Tendou Doujou, Evening]
[Ryouga walks in and looks around.]
Ryouga: Hello? Is anyone here?!
[Ranma walks into room.]
Ranma: If it is isn't the houseguest from hell. What do you want? Latitude or
longitude? (starts laughing)
Ryouga: I have come to see Akane.
Ranma: (suddenly serious) Why?!
Ryouga: I wish to tell her of my feelings... I may not get another chance.
Ranma: (shrugs) Fine... AKANE! RYOUGA'S HERE! HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!
[Akane walks down the stairs and sees Ranma and Ryouga.]
Akane: What is it, Ryouga?
Ryouga: Ah... um... well... (to Ranma) Go away!
Ranma: (crosses arms) I live here!
Akane: It's okay, Ryouga. We can go outside.
Ryouga: (smirks at Ranma) Alright.
[Akane and Ryouga go outside and walk across the garden.]
Akane: What did you want to say?
Ryouga: Are you really going to marry Ranma?
Akane: Yes. I love him.
Ryouga: I see...
Akane: Why?
Ryouga: Oh... I... I wanted to make sure you were certain of what you were
doing... What kind of friend would I be if let you make a mistake?
Akane: Thanks, Ryouga. But I am sure. It's a bit overdue...
Ryouga: Well... I'd better go...
Akane: Wait! Will you be back of the wedding?
Ryouga: The wedding... I...
Akane: Please... For me.
Ryouga: (sighs) Alright... I'll be here... If I can find it.
Akane: Thanks, Ryouga. Bye!
[Akane turns and goes back into the house. Ryouga sighs again and then walks
out of the garden. Akane walks back into the house, where Ranma is waiting.]
Ranma: What did he want?
Akane: He just wanted to make sure I was really happy marrying you.
Ranma: And?
[Akane puts her arms around him.]
Akane: (smiles) And I said I was.
Ranma: (nods) Good. Well... I've gotta go find Oyaji. I think he wanted to
talk to me...
[Ranma wanders off, leaving Akane to potter around the house for a while.]
[Tendou Doujou, Evening]
[The Tendou's and Saotome's are sitting at the dinner table eating.]
Souun: Not much longer until the wedding...
Nodoka: Yes. It will all be ready soon.
Kasumi: After such a long wait, it'll be nice to finally see you two get
together.
[Ranma and Akane look very embarresed.]
Genma: So, Son... Have you thought about what I said? Who is going to your
best man?
[Everyone looks at Ranma.]
Ranma: Well... acctually... I've already thought of who-
[Ranma is cut off as Genma jumps in excitedly.]
Genma: He's chosen me! I'm so happy!
Ranma: No, I haven't!
Genma: (stops short) You haven't?
Ranma: No.
Genma: And... You're quite sure?
Ranma: Yes.
Genma: Oh.
Nodoka: So who is going to be your best man?
Ranma: Ucchan.
Everyone: WHAT?!
Akane: I thought the best man was supposed to be a... Man!
Nodoka: This is most perculiar!
Nabiki: I wish I could have set up odds on this! I'd have made a killing!
Nodoka: I think you had better explain...
Ranma: Okay. It's simple. Ucchan is my best friend. That's what the best man
is! The groom's best friend. And in my case, that's Ucchan.
Nodoka: But she's a girl!
Ranma: True. But when I met her, I thought she was a boy. And she's still my
best friend. It's not that big a deal...
Nodoka: If this is what you want...
Ranma: It is.
Nodoka: Akane... Is this okay with you?
Akane: Um... Well... I guess... If that's what Ranma wants...then it's okay.
Souun: Well... That's settled...
Genma: Yes. Now all that remains is the wedding.
Nabiki: I was wanting to talk about that...
[Collective groan.]
Nabiki: What?! I was just wondering how much to charge for the tickets...
[The conversation continues for some time. Finally Ranma gets up and walks
out. Nodoka follows him, leaving Kasumi to do some extra organising. Ranma
goes outside and sits on the porch. Nodoka has barely moved outside when
Ranma speaks.]
Ranma: Pull up a board, Ofukuro.
Nodoka: You're senses are very acute.
Ranma: Not really. I heard your sword brush against the wall.
Nodoka: Oh.
Ranma: What's up?
Nodoka: I wanted to talk to you about a few things...
Ranma: Okay.
Nodoka: Are you nervous about the wedding?
Ranma: Not yet. I've still got a week or so to get nervous.
Nodoka: Now... After the wedding... Where are you and Akane going to go?
Ranma: Go?
Nodoka: Married couples live together... You will have to share a room...
Ranma: Oh.
Nodoka: I can set it up if you like...
Ranma: (shakes head) I think you'd better talk to Akane first.
Nodoka: (nods) I might do that. The other thing is the wedding night...
Ranma: Uh oh...
Nodoka: Do you know what to expect?
Ranma: From Akane? (pause) A punch in the head.
Nodoka: (frowns) Hmm... Maybe I'd better talk to her about that, too...
Ranma: I don't know... I was planning to cross each bridge as I came to it.
Nodoka: A little preparation never hurt.
Ranma: Yeah, well... I've had enough for today... I'll see you later...
'Night, Ofukuro.
Nodoka: Good night, son.
[Tendou Doujou, The Next Day]
[Nodoka and Kasumi walk into Akane's room. She looks up as they enter.]
Akane: Saotome-obasama, Oneechan... What are you doing here?
Nodoka: Please, Akane... You can call me mother...
Akane: I... um... okay, okaasan.
Nodoka: (smiles) That's better. Now... We need to have a little talk...
Akane: What about?
Nodoka: About you and Ranma...
Akane: What about us?
Nodoka: Ranma is going to move in here after the wedding.
Akane: WHAT?! I'll have no peace!
Nodoka: Married couples do live together.
Kasumi: I think you'll want to be alone together anyway...
Akane: But... But there's no room for another bed and...(trails off) No. Oh
no! No way! NOT A CHANCE! NEVER!
Kasumi: Ranma will be your husband...
Nodoka: It's the way things are... Besides... I thought you love my son...
Akane: (looks down) I do... It's just that...
Nodoka: I know... You're nervous... That's okay. I was wanting to talk about
the wedding night, too.
[Kasumi shuts the door.]
[Tendou Doujou, A Few Minutes Later]
Akane: WHAT?! ARE YOU MAD?!! YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!! NEVER!!
Nodoka: Now, Akane...Calm down... There's no need to get upset!
Akane: NO NEED?! I'D RATHER DIE!!
Kasumi: I think you'll change your mind...
Akane: NO! OUT! OUT! OUT!
[Kasumi and Nodoka run out, being showered with small objects. They stop in
the hallway to catch their breath.]
Nodoka: I thought that went quite well.
Kasumi: Considering it was Akane...yes.
Nodoka: She'll calm down.
Kasumi: Yes. The emotion of the day will get to her.
Nodoka: I hope so...
Kasumi: So do I... So do I...
[Tendou Doujou, Hours Later]
[Nodoka, Kasumi and Nabiki wait outside Akane's door, they are armed with a
large projectile proof box. Nodoka knocks.]
Nodoka: I hope she's calmed down. She's got a fairly deadly aim.
Nabiki: Akane always was good at sport.
Nodoka: It shows.
[Akane opens the door and they barge in.]
Akane: (bemused) What now?
Nodoka: It's time to fit your wedding dress!
Akane: My wedding dress?
Nodoka: Yes. Since we're having a western wedding...you need a dress. We've
been working on this for days...but now we need to fit it to you.
Akane: Oh... I... But...
Nodoka: No buts!
Kasumi: Just stand on this stool and leave the rest to us.
Nabiki: Another fine aut cuture creation from the House of Tendou!
[Akane stands on the stool and watches as her mother-in-law-to-be and her
sisters create an explosion of silk, satin, sequins, lace and pearls all
over her room. By the time they are finished, they are sweating and
exhausted.]
Nabiki: (wipes her brow) Phew! Finally... Finished!
Nodoka: You look beautiful Akane!
Kasumi: A very nice result.
[Akane looks in the mirror. She sees the wedding dress dreams are made of
(whatever they are!). It has a long vale with a long train to match it. The
train bears a complex lace pattern, interspersed with pearls and covered in
sequins. The bodice of the dress is snuggly fitted to her body, showing her
feminine shape. It has another lace pattern on the front and low puffy
shoulders. The sleeves also bear the lace pattern and the gloves are of the
purest white. Akane stares, stunned at the change in her appearance.]
Akane: It's beautiful... Thank you all...
Nabiki: No problem.
Akane: Do you think Ranma will like me?
Nabiki: If he doesn't, I'll kill him myself!
Nodoka: Of course he will. He will love you with all his heart...as he does
now.
Akane: (embarresed)...
Nodoka: You'd better get down now. We don't want to crumple it.
[They carefully take the dress off Akane and place it in her wardrobe. Nodoka,
Kasumi and Nabiki then leave. As Nodoka steps out she speaks.]
Nodoka: It's okay to be nervous Akane... If you want to talk...
Akane: I can see you... Thanks, (smiles) Okaasan...
[Nodoka smiles and walks away.]
[Several days and countless fights later, the wedding day rolls around.]
[Tendou Doujou, The Wedding Day]
[Ranma gets up early. Ostensibly to practice, but he is unable to sleep
anyway, wracked by a mixture of nerves and anticipation. He thinks about the
day ahead as he does his kata.]
Ranma: (thought) Today is the day! I can't believe it! Akane and I are really
getting married! I'm so hyped, I can't think!
[As Ranma struggles with his emotions, a similar battle is going on in Akane's
room.]
Akane: (thought) This is my wedding day... I'm so nervous... I wonder how
Ranma is? (thinks a bit) The jerk! He's probably just doing his
practice like nothing is going on! Still... This is what we both want...
(frowns) I think... Hmmm... Today I become Mrs. Saotome. Geez... That
feels so weird!
[The morning progesses rapidly. Ranma and Akane are kept apart as is custom,
and preparations are made. The doujou is set up like a chapel and tables and
chairs have been set up in the garden. At about eleven o'clock, Akane is taken
to her room by Kasumi and Nodoka and helped into her dress. She is then left
to wait for her call. Ranma, meanwhile, is helping set up for the ceremony and
the party afterwards. He is in the doujou, plugging the organ in, when Ukyou
arrives. He is crouched on the floor and she does not see him.]
Ukyou: Ran-chan?
Ranma: Here!
Ukyou: (looks around) Where?
Ranma: Here! Behind the organ!
Ukyou: What are you doing?
Ranma: Trying to get this infernal device to work!
Ukyou: Just press the start button.
Ranma: (looks at the mass of buttons and switches) Which one is that?
Ukyou: I don't know... Well... I'm going to get changed.
Ranma: Okay.
[Ukyou walks into the house and goes upstairs. She goes to Akane's door and
knocks.]
Akane: (through door) Who is it?
Ukyou: It's Ukyou. Can I talk to you?
Akane: (opens door) Okay. Come in.
[Ukyou walks in and sees Akane's dress for the first time.]
Ukyou: Oh! Akane! You look beautiful!
Akane: (smiles) Thanks! What was it you wanted?
Ukyou: I wanted to say a couple of things to you...
Akane: Go on...
Ukyou: I love Ran-chan as much as you do...
Akane: So?
Ukyou: So I want you to promise you'll look after Ran-chan... He needs
someone to keep an eye on him...
Akane: Of course I will.
Ukyou: Also... I want you to know that I want to be your friend, too... If
you ever need anything...
Akane: Thanks, Ukyou... I... I'm sorry that we can't both be happy...
Ukyou: I know... But we have to think of Ran-chan... I want him to be happy.
Akane: Umm... You'd better go get ready...
Ukyou: Yes... I'll see you later.
[Ukyou walks out and goes to another room to change. Meanwhile, the guests
have started to arrive. The entire town of Nerima seems to be in the Tendou's
garden, milling around and talking. Kasumi, Soun, Nabiki and Nodoka are acting
as hosts and keeping everyone busy until all is ready.]
Nodoka: We'd better speed this up. The natives are getting restless.
Kasumi: Yes. But we can't do much without a groom or a bridal party.
Nodoka: True. Oh, well... Let's get them all inside.
Kasumi: Alright.
[Kasumi and Nodoka proceed to manouver the crowd (or as much as would fit, and
had tickets) into the doujou/chapel. Meanwhile. up in his room, Ranma is
getting the willies.]
Ranma: (thought) I can't do this! I must have been crazy! I'm not getting
married! No way!
[Ranma gets up and goes over to the window. He opens it and jumps onto the
roof. He stares as he sees a stern looking Ukyou frowning at him.]
Ukyou: Where are you going, Ran-chan?
Ranma: Um... I'm... Well... That is...
Ukyou: You can't back out now! You love Akane! She loves you! You have to
marry her!
Ranma: But I...
Ukyou: It's just last minute jitters. When you get in that doujou...er...
chapel and you see Akane-chan...you won't even think of moving!
Besides... Imagine how Akane-chan would feel if you left her at the
alter. Imagine your mother!
Ranma: (swallows) She'd turn me into sukiyaki!
Ukyou: Yes. Now go down there and get married!
Ranma: (poutily) Okay!
[Ranma goes downstairs and is met by Nodoka and Souun.]
Nodoka: Are you ready?
Ranma: (sighs) As I'll ever be.
Nodoka: Good. Go over to the doujou and wait.
[Ranma nods and walks off with Ukyou. He walks into the doujou and goes up to
the front, Ukyou following. A murmur runs through the crowd as they realise
the best man is female.]
Ranma: I hope they hurry up! This waiting is killing me!
Ukyou: It's okay Ran-chan. I'm here.
Ranma: (nods)
[Finally after what seems like an eternity, the doors open and Nodoka and
Genma walk in. The music then starts and everyone turns to look at the entry
way. Souun Tendou walks in, a look of pride on his face. He is leading Akane,
her hand on his arm. They walk slowly, in time with the music. Ranma stares
at Akane. He can see her eyes shimmering under the vale. He looks at her and
his heart melts, and his fears and doubts rush away, to be replaced by a warm
secure sensation of love. Akane is lead up to him and then Souun gives him her
hand. Ranma stares at his bride in total awe. Akane looks up at him,
vulnerable. The preist then speaks.]
Priest: Dearly beloved... We are gathered her today for the joining of this
man (a few coughs from the crowd) and this woman, in holy matrimony!
[The priest's words are lost on Ranma and Akane, who simply stare at each
other, entranced. Suddenly there is an explosion. The doors are blasted into
the room with considerable force. Shampoo (with Mousse attached) and Kunou
enter.]
Kunou: This wedding cannot go ahead!
Preist: But we haven't got to that part yet!
Kunou: No matter. Saotome Ranma will not have Tendou Akane! She is mine!
Shampoo: That right! And Ranma belong to Shampoo!
Mousse: Help!
[Ranma steps down from the hastily built alter.]
Ranma: Kunou, Shampoo, get out. This is my wedding. You have five seconds...
After that...you leave in body bags!
Kunou: I do not fear you!
Ranma: No? Try this!
[A powerful gust of wind blows through the room and gathers around Ranma's
fist.]
Ranma: HIRYUUSHOUTENHA!
[Ranma blasts Shampoo and Kunou out the doors. Nodoka and Genma then close
and nail them shut. Ranma steps back up.]
Ranma: Please continue...
[The priest nods and continues the wedding speil. A few minutes later he asks
Ranma the all important question.]
Preist: Do you, Saotome Ranma, take Tendou Akane, to be your lawfully wedded
wife? To have and to hold as long as you both shall live?
Ranma: (looks at Akane) I... I... (Akane frowns) (Ranma smiles) I do.
Akane: (shocked) ...
Priest: And do you, Tendou Akane, take Saotome Ranma to be your lawfully
wedded husband? To love, honor and cherish, as long as you both
shall live?
Akane: (looks at Ranma) (smiles) I do.
Priest: Would rings be presented?
[Ranma and Akane ack. Rings?]
[Ukyou hands a ring to Ranma and a ring to Akane.]
Priest: Repeat after me... With this ring...
Ranma: With this ring...
Priest: I thee wed...
Ranma: I thee wed...
[Ranma puts a gold ring, with a diamond on it, on Akane's finger. The preist
then turns to Akane.]
Priest: Repeat after me... With this ring...
Akane: With this ring...
Priest: I thee wed...
Akane: I thee wed...
Priest: By the power vested in me by the province of Tokyo... I now pronounce
you man and wife! (to Ranma) You may kiss the bride.
[Ranma faces Akane and looks at her. He then raises the vale and flips it
back over her head. He then takes her in his arms and kisses her tenderly,
sending a shivver through them both. They then turn and look at the crowd,
which has turned into a weepy blob of happiness.]
==============================================================================
Resolutions I - The Promise Fulfilled - Epilogue 1 -
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[Souun and Genma look on as Ranma and Akane walk back down the aisle as
husband and wife. Genma highfives Souun.]
Souun: Well, Saotome-kun... Our families are finally one.
Genma: That's right, Tendou-kun... Don't you just love it when a plan comes
together?
==============================================================================
Resolutions I - The Promise Fulfilled - Epilogue 2 -
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[Tendou Doujou, The Reception, A Little Later]
[The great crowd has spilled out into the garden. There is a strange statue
in the pond. It appears to be a samurai with a cat on it's head. It is causing
some bemusement among those celebrating. Ranma and Akane are walking around,
hand in hand, taking to various people. Eventually they come across Nodoka
and Genma.]
Nodoka: Oh, my son! I'm so proud of you! You have such a beautiful bride!
Ranma: (smiles at Akane) I do... Don't I?
Akane: (smiles) Stop it!
Nodoka: Now... I have little present for you...
[Nodoka hands an envolope to Akane. She looks at Ranma, who nods. She opens
it.]
Akane: It's...airline tickets!
Ranma: Where to?
Akane: China...
Ranma: Cool... Thanks, Ofukuro.
Akane: (hugs them) Thank you, Okaasan. Thank you, otousan. (Genma gets
flustered)
Nodoka: We couldn't let you not have a honeymoon!
[There are hugs all round and then Ranma and Akane move off.]
Ranma: If we go to China, we are steering well clear of Jyusenkyou!
Akane: Why? There might be a pool that can turn you back!
Ranma: I can't risk it. Something might happen to you.
Akane: Thanks, Ranma. It's nice to be thought of.
Ranma: Well... I am your husband now.
Akane: Yes.
[Ukyou walks up to them.]
Ukyou: Ahem!
Ranma: Oh! Hi, Ucchan!
Akane: Hello, Ukyou.
Ukyou: I just wanted to say congratulations. I hope you're both very happy.
Ranma: We are, right?
Akane: (nods) Uh huh...
Ukyou: When you get back from your trip, I want to hear all about it!
Ranma: That's a date!
[Ryouga suddenly runs up.]
Ryouga: Akane-san! Akane-san! I'm sorry I'm late! I got on the wrong bus.
Ranma: You got on the wrong world, Ryouga!
Akane: Ranma!
Ranma: Sorry.
Akane: It's okay, Ryouga-kun. You're here now.
Ryouga: Akane-san... Can I speak to Ranma alone for a moment?
Akane: Sure.
[Akane walks off, leaving Ranma and Ryouga to watch her go.]
Ryouga: You've won, Ranma. Are you happy?
Ranma: Sure, I'm happy. But not about that.
Ryouga: You make sure you look after her. If I hear you're not, I'll be back!
Ranma: You can be assured that nothing could motivate me more to be good to
her than the thought of never seeing you again!
Ryouga: Good. Just so you know.
[Suddenly, Cologne appears on the wall.]
Cologne: I said I would not allow this wedding to proceed!
Nabiki: But it has! You're too late!
Cologne: Oh. Never mind. It must be annulled immediately!
Mousse: No! For once, true love his triumphed. I will not allow you to steal
that!
[Mousse attacks Cologne and, by some miracle defeats her.]
Mousse: (to Cologne) Love is the most powerful technique of all. It's a pity
you can't see that.
[Cologne does not reply, as she is gagged.]
[Tendou Doujou, Hours Later]
[The last of the guests finally leave as the family all collapse in a heap
from exhaustion.]
Ranma: Phew! I'm glad that's over! What a marathon!
Genma: It has been a long day.
Nodoka: (notices Akane is asleep) I think you should take your bride to bed,
Ranma. She looks exhausted.
Ranma: (looks down at Akane in his arms) I guess you're right.
Akane: (stirs) Wha...?
Ranma: Shhhh... Let me carry you.
[Ranma picks Akane up and carries her up to her room. He goes in and finds
that her bed has been replaced by a large double. Ranma smiles a little and
carefully puts Akane in the bed, covering her. He then takes his tie and
shoes off and sits down in a chair.]
Ranma: (whispers) Ooeeeeerr... I could sleep in a foundry, right now. I am
so tired... (drifts off to sleep)
[Tendou Doujou, Morning]
[Akane sits up in bed and sees Ranma in her desk chair.]
Akane: (thought) What is that fool doing here?! How dare he...
[She trails off as she see her dress and remembers yesterday. She cannot help
but smile. She gets up and goes over to her closet. She quietly changes and
then goes over to Ranma.]
Akane: (gently) Ranma, wake up...
[Ranma stirs a little, but does not wake. Akane moves right next to his ear.]
Akane: Ranma... It's Akane... It's morning...
[Ranma suddenly turns and kisses her.]
Ranma: I know!
Akane: (baps him) Baka! Why did you sleep in the chair?
Ranma: I wasn't sure how you'd react to me being in bed with you. I thought
I'd wait until you were okay with it...
Akane: Silly! We're married now. We can share a bed... but don't try anything
funny!
Ranma: We'd better get packed for our trip!
[Ranma and Akane pack their bags and go to the airport. They get on their
flight and go on their honeymoon.]
[Tendou Doujou, A Two Months Later]
[Ranma and Akane walk through the front door.]
Akane: Hello?! We're home!
[The family all appear and gather around.]
Nodoka: How was your trip?
Akane: Wonderful! We even avoided Jyusenkyou!
[Collective sigh of relief.]
Nodoka: I think everyone is finally getting over all this...
Genma: Everything is returning to normal. You can take over the doujou soon.
Ranma: That's great...but...
Akane: There's one little matter we have to deal with first...
Nodoka: What's that?
Ranma: Acctually... It's a surprise.
Nodoka: Don't tease! Tell us.
Nabiki: Come on, Ranma. Spill the beans!
Ranma: I'll let Akane tell you...
[Akane takes a deep breath and then speaks.]
Akane: I'm pregnant!
Everyone: WHAT?!
Akane: I'm pregnant... A month gone...
[Everyone face faults and collapses, except for Ranma and Akane, who are
standing there smiling happily.]
==============================================================================
Ranma Nibun no Ichi - Resolutions I - The Promise Fulfilled - Epilogue 3 -
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[In Osaka, At The Same Time]
[There is a cracking sound from the bottom of a well. Then a mad laugh is
heard.]
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They think I'm dead. Just wait,
though... For the return of... Happousai! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Fin -
==============================================================================
Author's Notes: Oy Vey! This was a torture test. Four days (straight) to
write this thing! I need a life! It's 4:30 am and I'm writing
this note. Why? I don't know! Oh well, I may as well give this
thing some point...
This story is the first of three parts. Hopefully, when I
recover from this one, I will start on the next... I do have
several other projects on... but I don't know when I'll get
to them. This started as an short ending (as the other two
will be (I hope)), but it got a bit bigger than I intended (I
had about 80,000 bytes in mind at the time). Anyway, I've
had a lot of fun writing it, it sort of became my difinitive
idea of how the series should have ended. It didn't, of
course... But I can dream! (grin)
I may write a sequel to this... If I do... It'll probably
be half as good. Hmmm... Maybe I'll write a Tenchi Muyo
story... There aren't many of them around...
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed
writing it. Thank god for insomnia! It keeps me writing!
Some Notes: I have included several little references to other things in this
story. For those who didn't get them:
The TV News Report is from Tenchi Muyo Eps. 3. (at the end) Check
if it's right. ;)
The wild haired guys and green aliens are of course, the cast of
DBZ.
As for mecha... Well. Take your pick... Macross, Gunbuster,
Project A-ko... Even Dominion... Whatever... Mecha is mecha.
Appologies for the syrupy ending. When I wrote this, I had just
finished editing Kun-chan's Nibun no Ichi "The Wedding" and
"University" chapters, and I had all that gushy stuff on the
brain. (And no, I don't do lemon! EVER! (Well... I do edit it...
Does that count?)
Acknoledgements: I'd like to thank:
Kunoichi-sensei ;) : Who handed me the
first Ranma 1/2 Graphic Novel and said,
"Here! Read this!" I did, and the rest is
history...
Matt: For making me watch Star Wars until
I could recite it from beggining to end
and for saying things like, "Are you mad,
or is it just the drugs?!" and, "Are you
crazy? Is that your problem?"
Mark: For pointing out that D&D is a
substitute for a real life, and that role
playing is *like* life, but with more
guns!
John Biles: For writting the brilliant
"Putting Your Heart in the Right Place"
and causing me to say, "I can do that!"
(maybe not as well).
Without the friendship of the first three (and others) I'd probably be
studying to be an accountant... or mowing celebrity lawns...
Mmmmm... Graceland...
A Final Note: Mail me... I lurk at... plunger@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au and other
places...
Well... That's all from me... (for now) As they say across the universe:
Ba Weet Gra Na Wa Niniban! (figure that one out! ;) ) Ja ne,
Plunger
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