Well, here's part one of a new series I'm working on.
It kinda complements another series... 'An Exciting Life.'
Actually, this one came first, so I suppose its the original.
As always, feedback, comments, ideas, places you'd like to see
this story go (Fights! Love! The Garbage!) is welcome (actually,
actively wanted.)
Thanks!
-Mike
***
"A Normal Life..."
A Fanfic by
Michael Noakes.
(Feb.23, 1996)
(June 6, 1996)
Brief Note:
This Fanfic acts as a companion piece to 'An Exciting Life',
running parallel to it in several ways (although this one _was_ the
original). It follows the story of the Ranma we all know and love,
and how he deals with life in a rather more mundane universe. You
don't need to read the other story to enjoy this one, though having
done so will (hopefully) enhance this one.
***
LEGAL BABBLE:
Ranma and co. owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
Damax owned by me.
Story mine.
Anything else is someone else's stuff.
***
A Normal Life
Chapter One
Request
"What's normal? That's a good question.
Normal is what everyone else is, and you are not."
- Dr.Soran, Star Trek Generations
(The scene opens up over an idyllic Nerima, with calm citizens
blissfully going about their daily business. An odd sound, like a
subdued rumbling, begins to grow in strength.)
(The rumbling grows, reaching a thunderous crescendo. The
ground begins to shake. Pedestrians pause and draw back off the
streets with resigned looks. A chaotic procession runs around a
corner, led by a terrified, red-haired pig-tailed girl.)
Ranma :Gaaaahhhhh!
(She's running all-out. Behind her, Akane, Ryoga, Kuno,
Shampoo, Mousse, Kodachi, Ukyou, Cologne, Happosai, and a horde of
angry housewives are following.)
Ranma :(pleading) Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
Akane :(angrily) Get back here, you pervert!
Ryoga :(vengefully) You won't escape that easily, Ranma!
Shampoo :(confused) Why you run, Ranma?
Mousse :(menacing) Prepare to die, enemy of women!
Ukyou :(sweetly) Ranma honey! Come back!
Kuno :(enraptured) Come to me, my pig-tailed goddess!
Kodachi :(insanely) HAhahAHaHAhahAha!
Happosai :(deadly) You'll pay for your interference, Ranma!
Ranma :Aaarrrggghhhh!
(They tear down the street, destroying everything that gets in
their way. Ranma manages to produce a burst of speed and put a
little distance between herself and her pursuers.)
(She zips around a corner.)
Ranma :Ah man, I don't need this. Not today. I gotta hide,
somewhere, anywhere!
(She looks around, desperately, still running. Rounding
another corner, she spies a narrow alcove, almost obscured in
shadows, with an open door.)
Ranma :Great!
(She screeches to a stop, then leaps through the threshold,
slamming the door shut behind her. Spinning, she peeks through the
windows. A few seconds later, the horde goes storming past. Ranma
slumps to the ground and sighs.)
Ranma :Whoa. Man, I _hate_ it when that happens.
Voice :(from behind) And who do we have here?
(Ranma spins around, surprised, with a yelp. An old man,
wearing a robe and sporting a long beard, shot through with streaks
of white, is looking at her curiously with sparkling, intense blue
eyes.)
Ranma :Ahhh... sorry. I didn't hear you. (She bows once in
respect.) I didn't mean to intrude. I was hiding from some...
friends.
Old Man :No offence taken, young lady. (notices the sudden scowl
Ranma makes). But perhaps given. You object to being called
young. I apologise. You must realise that, to an old man like
myself, most people appear young.
Ranma :It's not that. I don't think you'd... understand. It's
really quite complicated.
Old Man :Now, perhaps, you offend _me_. I am not senile yet!
Perhaps you'd like to explain to me this complex situation you find
yourself in?
Ranma :(shaking her head) I'm sorry, but I really have to be
going.
Old Man :(Grinning) Are you sure?
(Ranma peeks out the windows again. Akane and Ryoga are
stalking back and forth across the street, glaring into alcoves,
beneath display tables, and into stores. She gulps.)
Ranma :Ahhh... maybe I could stay for a couple more minutes.
Old Man :(Clapping his hands together.) Excellent! I'll go
fetch us some tea, and perhaps a little food!
(The old man passes through a beaded curtain hanging in a
threshold. The sound of jingling cutlery is heard. Ranma backs
away from the door, removes her shoes, and kneels down before a
short table. She glances around the room, taking in the shelves
and bookcases groaning beneath the weight of numerous tomes and
strange curio. Faded pictures adorn one wall. A clock on one wall
softly chimes five times, annoucing the hour.)
(The man returns a moment later, carrying a platter with a
kettle of steaming tea and some cups. He sets them down, then
gracefully sits across from Ranma.)
Old Man :And so, my unexpected guest... what is your name?
Ranma :Ranma Saotome, of the Saotome school of Anything-Goes
Martial Arts.
Old Man :(eyes glinting with amusement.) Really? Well, Ranma
Saotome of the Saotome school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, I am
called Damax Cheineux, of nothing special, really.
Ranma :Damax, uh, Chi... uh, Shin, ummm...
Damax :I know, the pronunciation is difficult, and the name is
strange. It is not japanese. Then again, neither am I. But let
us not talk about me. I wish to hear more about Ranma Saotome, of
the Saotome school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts. What forces such
a pretty young girl to flee into my humble shop and hide? (He
suddenly notices the return of the scowl). I am sorry. I have
offended you again. I apologise.
Ranma :(Taking a deep breath, then sighing despondently). No,
don't apologise. It's not your problem. It's mine. (She sighs
again, then continues in a near whisper.) And Akane's...
Damax :(Leaning forward slightly, eyes glinting over the edge
of his tea-cup) Akane?
Ranma :(Starting slightly) Akane. She's a... friend of mine,
I suppose.
Damax :She must be a very good friend, if whatever troubles you
so is of so great a concern to her as well.
Ranma :Good friend! Ha! What kind of 'good friend' would hit
me with a wooden mallet, HARD, just for trying to be nice?
Damax :(eyes wide) That does seem somewhat harsh... why did
she hit you?
Ranma :(getting excited.) How should I know why that crazy
kawaikunai tomboy does anything? If I insult her, she hits me!
Damax :That does not seem too strange...
Ranma :And if I complement her, she hits me! If Shampoo shows
up, she hits me! If Ukyou show up, she hits me! If Kodachi shows
up, she hits me! (He glares at Damax.) Guess what she does when
P-Chan shows up?
Damax :(hesitantly) She... hits you?
Ranma :(dripping sarcasm). How'd you guess?
Damax :She must be a very jealous friend, if she hits you every
time another girl comes over! She must value your friendship
greatly.
(Ranma pauses for a moment, a look of surprise crossing her
face. Damax just looks at him impassively, his eyes still
gleaming. Various thoughts pass through Ranma's head before he
lets out another deep sigh.)
Ranma :Yeah, right. Maybe if she didn't hit me so often, I
wouldn't be tempted to hang around with those other... friends of
mine. At least _they_ don't try and kill me! Well, most of the
time, anyways. (Ranma pauses.) Like this morning. All I did was
head over to Ukyou's for breakfast. I mean, what's wrong with
that?
Damax :Nothing, I suppose.
Ranma :(throwing his hand up.) Of course not! I mean, Akane
couldn't actually expect me to _eat_ her cooking, could she? I
mean, that stuff's barely fit for a pig... well, except for Ryoga,
of course, but he's worse then a pig...
Damax :I see...
Ranma :And then what happens? Akane gets mad. She whips out
that damn mallet of her, and things go to hell from there. She
starts to chase me around the house, so I head for the outside.
She chases me. Ryoga comes too, raving like a lunatic like he
always does. We pass by the Neko Hanten, so of course, Shampoo
joins up... and wherever there's Shampoo, Mousse is bound to
follow, with that damn ghoul pogo-ing along. Of course, I get
splashed by cold water, and whenever _that_ happens, Kuno just
_has_ to show up! Just my luck he brought Kodachi along. I have
no clue where the old letch came from, and I don't _want_ to know,
but sure enough, he brought along that damn bag of his, and his
horde of angry women! Then Ukyou, wondering why I hadn't show up
for breakfast, shows up too, and, as usual, the group's complete.
Man!
Damax :Sounds fairly complicated!
Ranma :Ah, man, you don't know the half of it. They all accuse
me of playing favourites, or of being 'the enemy of women', or for
being the cause of all their problems! It's crazy!
Damax :You do seem to lead an exciting life!
Ranma :Exciting? It's insane! (She takes a deep breath and
forcefully calms herself down. Without realising it, her voice has
been steadily rising.) Sometimes... sometimes I just wish my life
could just be... more normal...
Damax :(He leans forward with keen interest, putting his cup
down. His eyes twinkle fiercely.) Really?
Ranma :(Lacing her hands behind her back, staring off into
space a bit, seemingly unaware of the old man.) Yeah, normal. I
mean, martial arts are my life, and I'd never give them up for
anything, but somewhere along the path, my life got _way_ too
complicated. No sixteen year old should have to go through what I
do!
Damax :Go on...
Ranma :I mean, three fiancees? At my age? Hell, one's too
many! (Her voice lowers to a murmur again and she stares into her
lap.) Sometimes, I wonder how Akane and I would get along if our
relationship hadn't been forced upon us by our parents... (She
raises her head, shaking it slightly, and her voice regains its
edge.) I look at some of my friends at school, like Hiroshi... he
leads a normal life! He has girlfriends! He goes out on dates!
At night, he does homework, hangs out with friends, watches
TV. On the weekend, he goes to see a movie, or just hangs out with
his friends some more. Me? I'm usually fighting for my life, or
trying to save one of my fiancees from some crazed martial artist.
If I'm _lucky_, I get to go on a training trip!
Heh. At least then it's quiet, and away from the craziness at
home, even if I'm stuck with pop.
Damax :Sounds difficult...
Ranma :You think that's it? I havn't even mentioned my damn
curse! (Her face begins to darken). That damned curse! _It's_
the cause for so much of my trouble! My fiancees, my enemies,
hell, even my MOM! (She saddens a bit.) Although I guess my dad's
to blame too... Man, do I ever miss my mom!
Yeah, I can't help but think that a normal life would be
sooooo much easier. Mom and Dad and me at home; no enemies, no
fiancees, no curse.
Damax :Would life truly be that much better?
Ranma :(Looking directly at the old man for the first time in
a while.) Of course! A normal life! That's all I could wish for!
Damax :(Gives a slight grin, almost hidden beneath his beard,
eyes still glittering. He responds in a smooth, low voice.) You
should really be careful what you wish for, Ranma Saotome, of the
Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts.
(Ranma glances at the clock; it's almost six o'clock. She
shakes her head and stands up, heading towards the door, slipping
her shoes on.)
Ranma :Wow, I sure talked a lot more then I meant to! Sorry to
have bothered you, uh, Damax. Gotta go! (She peeks out the
window. Everything seems clear.) Thanks for everything! Maybe
I'll see you around sometime!
Damax :Maybe indeed, Ranma Saotome. (He stands up, still
grinning slightly, and gives a short bow, before heading back
through the veil of beads.)
Ranma :(thinking) What a strange old man!
(Ranma turns away and grabs the door handle, but stops before
opening it. A shiver of trepidation passes through her. The path
is clear, sure, but her problems remains the same, lurking,
crouching at the Tendo Dojo, or anywhere, really, in Nerima.)
Ranma :(She opens the door and steps forward, thinking) Heh,
a normal life! Yeah, like that's ever going to happen!
(But as she steps through the threshold, a sudden flare of
light blinds her; a strange tingling passes through her, making her
hair stand up on end, while a disorienting wrenching makes her
stomach twist and almost heave. She stumbles, catching herself on
the doorframe, and rubs her eyes, trying to clear them.)
(The spots start to fade, and she immediately notices that
something's not right; actually, that several things aren't right:)
(First, she's male again. That wasn't odd in itself, except
for the fact that he cann't remember being hit by hot water.)
(Second, he isn't outside. He's standing in the entrance to
a house... one he doesn't recognise. Behind him is a door, sure,
but it leads outside, to a neighbourhood he doesn't immediately
recognise. Where was the store? The street? How did he get
here?)
(He quickly glances around, noting the steps that lead
upstairs, the hallway that passes through the house, the kitchen
that opens up onto the entrance, his mom cooking over the stove...)
(HIS MOM!)
(Nodoka, perhaps hearing the strangled yelp, turns towards a
panicked Ranma.)
Ranma :Ack! No! Gotta Run!
(His brain and body suddenly connecting, he hurtles up the
stairs. Below, a voice rings out.)
Nodoka :Ranma? Was that you? Son?
Ranma :(Franticly, thinking) Bathroom. Gotta find a bathroom.
Water. Don't wanna die. Bad, very bad. Seppuku bad. Need water!
(He hears steps coming up the stairs behind him.) Where's a
bathroom? (He spots one, dashes into it, cranks the water on.)
Dammit, that HOT! (He hears the steps approaching, spins the hot
water off, cranks the cold water on, fills a glass with it. Just
before Nodoka comes into view, he upends the glass over his head,
breathing a sigh of relief.)
Nodoka :So it _is_ you! You had me worried there for a moment!
Ranma :Of course it's me, Auntie Nodoka. Heh. Haha. Ha.
Ummm... (Ranma tries to laugh, but suddenly realises something is
terribly wrong. His mom is staring at him strangely, and he
suddenly realises that he's still a guy.)
Nodoka :(Sounding a bit confused.) Auntie? Sometimes, Ranma,
I just don't understand you... (She turns away and heads back
downstairs.) And dumping water on yourself! Really!
(Ranma pats himself down once, verifying that he is, indeed,
still male. He gazes into the mirror, dumbfounded. His face,
male, stares back at him. He checks again, to make sure his mom
hasn't killed him. She hasn't.)
Ranma :(Confused, trying to hold down the surging hope within.)
Can it be? (He starts splashing himself madly with cold water,
turns and starts the shower, the water icy-cold.) Nothing's
happening! (Splashes some more.) Nothing! (He leaps into the
shower, drenching himself.) Nothing! (He laughs out-loud with
glee.) I'm cured! I'm cured! I'm never gonna be a girl again!
Never gonna be a girl again!
(He leaps out of the shower, leaving the water running, and
starts running around like a madman, drenched in cold water,
laughing in glee. He charges down the stairs.)
Ranma :I'm cured! I'm cured! Yippee! (He charges into the
kitchen, grabs hold of his stunned mom, dancing around.) I'm
cured! I'm a guy! A guy!
Nodoka :(With a grave look, speaking ominously.) I most
certainly hope so... (Her hand reaches slightly towards a katana
hanging on the wall. Ranma pales considerably.) After all, your
father swore an oath to raise you to be a man among men! (Her face
suddenly clears, and she gives a big grin.) And of course, here
you are, truly a man among men, a manly man! You do me proud!
(She envelops him in a tight embrace, hugging him fiercly.) Oh, it
is so good to have you back, Ranma!
Ranma :(Gulping slightly.) Uhhh, yeah, of course, uh, mom...
(He recovers from his fear, and then realises he's hugging his mom.
His _mom_. It feels... good. All the pent up emotions - the fear
of seppuku, the anger at his oath, the anguish of being so near,
yet so far, from his mother - begin to break free. He's wanted
this for so long.) M... mom?
Nodoka :(Pulling back slightly, looking up at him.) Yes? (Her
eyes are brimming with tears.)
Ranma :It's... it's good to be back. It's... nice... to see
you. I... missed you, a lot. More then you know. (He feels
something that feels suspiciously like tears forming in his own
eyes, but fights them back, thinking.) I'm a guy now, not a girl!
Guy's don't cry! (He blinks once, to clear his eyes, but it
doesn't help. His throat feels thick with emotion.) But... it
sure is nice to finally get to be with my mom! She won't care if
she see's me cry... Ranko would cry... But... I'm not... Ranko
anymore. (He sighs, regretfully?, then pulls away from his mother,
clearing his throat.)
Nodoka :(Breaking away too, wiping out her eyes.) And I missed
you too, my son. (She then suddenly notices that Ranma is soaking
wet and slightly shivering, and that, thanks to their hug, she's
wet too.) What the... Ranma, why are you soaking wet? Come to
think of it, why were you dumping water on you head?
Ranma :Oh, it's 'cus of... (He pauses for a second, and
suddenly the strangeness of the whole situation slams into him.
Where was he? Why was his mom here? And, as great as it was to
lose his curse, where did it go? Did that old guy, what's his
name, Damax, have something to do with it?) ... of, ah, a special
Martial Arts technique I was trying out. Ah... gotta go!
(Ranma spins and runs out of the kitchen, but stops the moment
he turns the corner. He glimpses back in at his mom, watching her
as she turns away, savoring the feeling of having talked to her,
touched her, been recognised as her son, without fear of dying.)
Nodoka :(Returning to her cooking.) Martial Arts technique?
Sometimes, I wonder what's gotten into that boy...
Ranma :(Turning away, and heading back up the stairs, softly.)
So do I... mom.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
(Ranma lies back on his bed, staring up at the strange,
unfamiliar ceiling, ignoring the strange, unfamiliar bedroom that
was supposed to be his. A small pile of unpacked boxes is stacked
in one corner.)
(He can hear his parents below, unpacking, joking, talking,
laughing. Strange. Whenever he hears his mom's voice, he keeps
expecting to hear the 'growf' of a Panda Bear in response. And, of
course, the high-pitched voice of Ranko. His own voice, but
female. He smiles. Not anymore.)
(He glances down at the book lying open on his chest. A
diary. A rather suspicious one, actually, especially since he's
never kept one in his life. A quick glance through it had revealed
meticulously recorded details of all the major turning points in
his life. The training trip to China. The detour around
Jusenkyou. The year long stay at Joketsuzoku, where he had been
taught the Kachu Tenshin Amaguri-Ken and the Hiryu Shoten-Ha, where
he had met Mousse, Shampoo, and Cologne, and become friends with
them. Friends, nothing more, not enemies, not fiancees. After the
training, his father and himself had continued on.)
(Further back, he found records of his time in Junior High, of
his friendly rivalry with Ryoga, until he left, a final duel
between them unfinished. That seemed familiar...)
(Even earlier, there were even records of Ukyou. No mention
of choices, though, or of carts. Just a budding friendship that
was remembered with fondness... in the diary, at least. He has
completely different memories concerning Ukyou, and Shampoo, and
everyone, really. The only thing that seemed truly familiar was
the part concerning the Neko-ken training; it seemed that, wherever
he now was, his father had _still_ been stupid enough to toss him
into a pit of starved cats.)
(Ranma sighs. Everything is the same, yet different. All his
skills were the same. He had found a reference to the Shishi Hoko-
Dan: it seemed a wandering construction worker had taught it to
him, after a rockslide had blocked the path of the training trip.
>From there, he had developed the Moko Takabisha himself.)
(And of course, near the end, were mentions of the "big move",
as the Saotome family, together once again after the long training
trip, moved back into a larger house, now in Nerima. Tomorrow, he
was supposed to start attending his new school, Furinkan High.)
(Ranma smirks. New indeed. He glances at the final entry.)
Diary :Today, while exploring this new town, I stumbled across
this strange little shop. An old man called Damax Cheineux talked
with me for quite some time; I told him how I wish my life was
somewhat more exciting. We chatted a bit before I left. What a
strange old man...
(Ranma shuts the book. It would be handy as a reference
guide, but he had read enough for now. Interesting, though - this
other 'him' had led a much quieter life, especially for the last
year; obviously Joketsuzoku was a much quieter place than Nerima.
And yet, even with that, nothing much had changed, really, just the
one or two major things. No Jusenkyou. No curse. He giggles. No
fiancees!)
(The laugh dies. No Akane?)
(He quickly flips through the diary, looking for any reference
to Akane, to the Tendos, to the training hall. He finds it about
halfway through, while he was still on his decade long training
voyage.)
Diary :Tonight, around the fire, pop told me about the Tendos.
An old friend of his, Soun, had trained under the same master that
he had (although he kinda glosed over that part... I wonder why?).
One night, both drunk, they had been about to promise me, and one
of Soun's daughters, to each other. An engagement! Trust the old
man to think of such a thing! Fortunately, mother stepped in and
put an end to _that_ idea! Still, I can't help but wonder what she
would have been like, this future fiancee of mine...
Ranma :(thinking) Violent, very, very violent. (He then gives
a little smile.) But, kinda cute, I guess. (He suddenly glances
around. No one's around.) When she smiles, I mean. (He looks
back down at the diary.)
Diary :...this future fiancee of mine...
Anyways, without that connection, it seemed the two have drifted
apart over the last decade. I can tell pop's looking forward to
visiting his old friend when we get back, but he's a bit nervous,
too. They've been out of touch for so long...
(Ranma slams the book shut and tosses it off the bed. He
laces his hands behind his head and gives a contented sigh.)
Ranma :This is... great! I can still go and visit her, and
maybe things will go right this time, without anything weird
happening, and no pressure from our parents! (He stretches, and
muscles that seemed like they had been tensed up with stress for
_way_ too long began to unknot.) I can go to school, and maybe
actually learn something, without someone attacking me! (He throws
his legs over the side of his bed and sits up.) I can go
downstairs, see my mom, and not have to worry about jumping into a
pond! (He stands up, feeling energised, happier then he'd been in
months.) Hell, I can even go swimming, as a guy, for the first
time in... since I swam to China!
Oh man, life's gonna be great!
(With a joyous yelp, he leaps down the stairs, greets his dad,
kisses his mom, and bolts outside.
Nodoka :(Yelling as he rushes out the door.) Don't be too late,
Ranma! Supper will be ready soon!
Genma :(Just loud enough to be heard.) Where's that foolish
boy of mine off to now?
(He ignores them and takes off, running through the streets
for the sheer thrill of running, buoyed by the seeming perfection
of his new life, of everything.)
(He runs, and runs, and runs some more, skipping and leaping
up and down from walls, fences, and roofs.)
(He runs, without purpose, till he realises that he's standing
before the Tendo Dojo.)
(A strong wind pulls at his shirt and loose pants.)
(It begins to grow dark.)
*** To be continued... ***
AUTHOR'S BABBLE:
Alrighty...
I first wrote this story a couple of months ago, blazing
through the first three chapters before coming to a sudden stop.
Exams and stuff took precendence, and this thing got thrown onto
the backburner.
And then... then some feedback trickled in, and I started to
get some nifty ideas for a story that paralleled this one,
following the adventures of the Ranma from this world in the real
Ranmaverse. But, being busy (read lazy), I never got around to
it... till now.
So I typed out Chapter One of 'An Exciting Life', then came
back to this one and revised it a bit (a coupla grammar mistakes,
and some changes to make it mirror the other story a bit better).
And now... well, now I hope to finish the whole thing off. Hope
you like it!
- Mike Noakes
s669330@aix2.uottawa.ca