---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kyle Pope <KylePope@cris.com>
Newgroups: rec.arts.anime.misc

Mitamura Arisa ("Bannou Bunka Nekomusume")

LOOKS:  Utterly adorable when she's not girding for battle.  A trim figure
(no doubt maintained by constantly hefting large machine guns and rocket
launchers) and a stylish flip of dark brunette hair.  However when
contemplating the possibility of loosing some heavy ordinance her face can
take on a evil gleam. 

SMARTS:  She is clearly intelligent as manifested by the many skills she
has with weapons and military equipment however that intelligence is
almost always overridden by an extraordinarily short temper.  Judgement
regarding the gentler aspects of society is almost non-existant and she
will resort to violence first and foremost as a solution to her problems. 
Do not become one of her problems. 

PERSONALITY:  Explosive.  Anything will set this woman off.  And she is
very likely to express her outrage with heavy metal and hot lead.  Tread
lightly and speak softly when anywhere near this lady.  However, I suspect
that sufficient knowledge of and access to the latest military hardware
will turn her into a little girl in a candy store.  This would be
difficult to acheive as she is employed by the largest arms manufacturer
in the world, but I'm sure Mishima Juukougyou has competitors whose
products Arisa would dearly love to try out. Start dusting off your
resume. 

HOME ECONOMICS:  This lady can strip down and rebuild any weapon known
while blindfolded and in the dark but don't expect any of this skill and
dexterity to carry over into homemaking.  If anything she seems
unconcerned with the conditions of any quarters she happens to be
occupying.  Cooking skills are probably equally absent as she apparently
eats out alot.  She is also likely to have little patience with the
day-to-day routine of keeping a home clean and well maintained.  No doubt
if you do you will spend a lot of time picking up after her.  Just don't
let her see you doing it. 

COMBAT SKILLS:  While she is clearly skilled with a wide variety of
weapons she is too unfocused and rage-driven to be effective with any of
them.  Her marksmanship is in need of a lot of work and she has
considerable difficulty assessing the capabilities of her opponent.  This
tendency has produced many painful and bruising encounters for her with
one particular opponent that she has yet to learn would be better left
alone.  In her column though is vast amounts of grit and determination and
the ability to absorb considerable amounts of punishment, which she does
on a frequent basis. 

SPECIAL ABILITIES:  None magical, supernatural or super-scientific. 
However this woman can handle any weapon in existence from a sniper rifle
to a combat coleopter to a combat suit with little to no previous
training.  In this area she is clearly a prodigy. 

COMPETITION:  Natsume Akiko.  Not a romantic rival but her employer and
mentor. There is nothing Arisa won't do to serve Akiko or Mishima
Juukougyou and you will always be secondary to this consideration. 
Regrettable given how shabbily she is treated by Akiko and her company. 
Swing this misguided loyalty over to you and you will have literally a
woman who would go to war for you.  Koitabashi Kyouko.  Also not a
romantic rival but a constant companion and partner in her many efforts on
behalf of Akiko and Mishima.  Separating these two will be very difficult
as each is the only friend the other one has.  If you do settle down with
Arisa you can expect Kyouko to be spending a lot of time with you unless
you can fix her up with someone. 

IN-LAWS:  No known family.  Arisa gives every loyalty she has to Akiko and
Mishima and likely as not considers them her surrogate family.  The
closest individual to her personally is the aforementioned Koitabashi
Kyouko who would likely fill the role as sister-in-law. 

FINANCES:  Poor.  One of the abuses heaped upon Arisa by Mishima is an
inadequate salary that is frequently cut, withheld or withdrawn at the
discretion of Akiko and her frequent fits of pique.  While it is possible
that Akiko would be extremely generous were Arisa to succeed in getting
Ryuunosuke back this cannot be counted on.  It is strongly recommended
that you have an adequate and independent source of income if your
finances are to have any kind of stability. 

SEX:  Arisa is definately the "I-want-it-now" type.  Expect this lady to
grab you by the lapels, throw you onto the nearest horizontal surface and
undress you with her teeth.  Expect as well that she will not take "no"
for an answer when she's in the mood, regardless of where she is when the
mood hits.  If you're not ready for action when she is you are likely to
frustrate her and frustrating Arisa will get you the wrong end of an M-60. 

OVERALL:  If you're looking for a quiet, orderly life with a gentle quiet
woman you're reading the wrong article.  Unpredictability is defined by
Arisa and she is the personification of "hair trigger".  If you like life
on the edge and have the will to keep her under control then Arisa will
make a good and capable wife. Your first project together can be the
construction of a backyard firing range where you can work on her
marksmanship skills.  If you want to hold Arisa's attention, nothing beats
weapons. 

--
Kyle

"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered." - No. 6