On Sun, 16 Jun 1996, Jeanne Hedge wrote:

well, here it is.. you asked, and someone was kind enough to tell me how.

Stormwalker presents :


                          Bubblegum Collision
                              
           A Bubblegum Crisis fanfic by Douglas A. Reeves

I've got to say I'm enjoying this one.  I've only got a couple problems with
what I've read, and both have to do with what happened to Nene.  First,
Sylia's initial reaction to Nene's injuries.  I don't think she'd fall apart
that way quite so publicly (I'm one of those who thinks Sylia is probably a
mess in private though)

Glad to know you like it.  I'm enjoying writing it so far, and the story 
is now developing toward a specific ending.

I read in other posts that this story takes place several years down the
line, and Sylia's 'walls' have come down quite a bit over the years.  Maybe
if you added a line, sort of like an intro, to say what year we are in.
Something like "MegaTokyo, 2045" or whenever it is.

Nod... I'll try to clarify that in the next revision.

The other problem I have has to do with Nene's treatment: when did Sylia
become a MD and a cybernetic surgeon?  I can sort-of buy the KS taking care
of 'routine' injuries themselves (although I sort of suspect Sylia's got
medical support on-call).  But if Nene was hurt *that* badly, wouldn't Sylia
use her connections to get her to a specialist, rather than treat Nene herself?

Actually, I was having a computer system do most of the work.  Sylia just 
oversees and makes sure it's working properly.  She does have some 
*basic* understanding of medicine, but she couldn't hope to treat an 
injury like Nene's (she DID design the new hand, though).

Keep up the good work :)

  Thanks and will do.

Jeanne Hedge

     jhedge@waterw.com ==================== 75512.1214@compuserve.com
        "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea
            of any man I ever met."     - Abraham Lincoln
     ============ http://www.accsyst.com/jhedge/main.htm ============

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Stormwalker <temporarily at pingley@post.cis.smu.edu>
"Chaos is a good thing"
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