On Thu, 06 Jun 1996 09:16:45 -0700 Marisa Price said:

: This is ..... G R E A T!!! of course, we are both writing along the same
: vein....

maybe that's the reason I love *both* your fanfics.

: A couple of comments:
:
[snip]
:
: Too much repititions in these two paragraphs!

Hmmm, I don't think so.  They build upon each other and heighthen
the effect.

:
: Same problem here... you use the SAME quote twice... and a LONG one!! What
: did he have, a tape recorder? ^_^
:

Ha!  You had the same problem occurring in _L in L_ once.  I guess
he could split that speech into two halves and use them for the
two paragraphs.

:
: There are some beautiful moments in this story... please keep writing it :).

Beautiful is the right word.  And "please keep writing it" is the
right phrase. :)

Seconded.


Sebastian
--
       <http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/>
                         Comics reviewed
--
The more we disagree, the more chance there is that at least one
of us is right.