A few minor adjustments....

        Ranma got an intent look on her face and said, mimicing

                                                         ^^^^^^^^
                                                         mimicking

        Ranma put his hand over hers and said, "Hey... Don't

                    ^^^

get all serious on me. I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you
may be a violent tomboy... but you are MY violent tomboy."
        Akane smiled back at him, her eyes glowing, and said,

                               ^^^

"I don't think I am ever going to get tired of hearing that."
        "What, that you are a violent tomboy?" Ranma cracked.
        Akane reached over the table and slugged him saying,

                                                   ^^^

"Oh you know what I mean, baka!"

        Ranma is still a girl in this section.

        "All to easy," Nabiki snickered as she went back into her

               ^^
               too

	And while I did like the way you had written lemon section, I
understand your reasons for taking it out, and I agree that the revised
version is more in character for Ranma, Akane and Nabiki.  You've been doing
a great job, keep it up.

-- 
"I will chide no breather in the world but myself,                 _____
 against whom I know most faults." - As You Like It         |_____|_____
                                     Act 3, Scene 2    _____|     |
            Julian Fong: fong_jh@sunset.bph.jhu.edu