Ranma 1/100th  Vol. 2
			Your Wish is my Command
			Chapter 2

Credits:
Produced by: Horde O' Hentai Productions, Literature Division
	Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde, President for Life
						(chance of parole in 20 years)
	Lee (Grey Wolf): Pun Minister, Guy We Rub For Luck
	Rob (Barbarian): P.U. Officer, Breath Weapon Specialist
	Craig (Dr. Ruminahui): Minister of Foreign Affairs
				(until we caught him at it)
Series Concept: Darren Demaine
Written by: Darren Demaine 
	(Someone else caught in El Hazard;
	Officer who assigned VF-19s to the 801st TTS;
	unnamed guy who slits his gut (any samurai anime))
Based on works and an idea from: Takahashi Rumiko-megamisama


Previously on Ranma 1/100th:
	Akane seems to undergo weird shifts in behaviour (and cooking abilities).  As well, everyone managed to find dates for an upcoming dance...but only the Kuno siblings were happy with their partners.
______________________________

	Easing himself in, Ranma sighed deeply and tried to enjoy the soothing warmth of the bath.  However much he looked forward to a hot bath after a long day of abuse, he found he just couldn't relax today.  Too many weird things had happened, and his mind wouldn't let them go.
	Rubbing his fingers over his face, he frowned and began to mutter to himself.  "As if school wasn't bad enough as is, now we get some sort of stupid dance to go to.  And of course, the dumb girls go and get all excited over it, and naturally I get dragged into it."  Arms now dangling over the tub's edge, his probing fingers latched onto a bar of soap and he absentmindedly picked it up. 
	"And what was that dumb jerk Akane thinking?  Deciding to go with Kuno-sempai; I mean, how stupid can you get?"  Here he mimicked a high-pitched girl's voice, "'Well, he asked me out before you did, and I couldn't just say no could I?  That would have been rude of me.'"  He crushed the bar of soap so tight it popped out of his hand, flew into a wall, rebounded and smacked him right in the forehead.
	Rubbing his new bruise, he grimaced.  "Rude?  Yeah, right; like she's ever been concerned about being rude before.  All she ever does is center her life around being rude.  After all, she's always bugging and annoying me and bothering...ah...bothering..." He stopped here and seemed to think for a moment.  "Hmm...well, I can't seem to think of anyone else she bothers on a regular basis...but there has to be someone," he finished, sounding so sure of himself.
	Returning to a safer line of thought, he continued his tirade.  "I just can't understand what she was thinking...provided she ever thinks.  She's just so damn violent and rude and uncute and unfeminine.   What guy could possibly want to put up with such a chick anyway?"
	<Kuno,> his mind replied.
	"Well, sempai is an idiot-"
	<Ryoga.>
	"He's never really had a girlfriend before so-"
	<Gosunkugi.>
	"Come on-"
	<Kirin.>
	"Yeah, but-"
	<Toma.>
	"Wait a minute-"
	<Shinnosuke.>
	"Just a-"
	<And how about y->
	"ENOUGH ALREADY!"  He shouted, slightly annoyed he was in the process of losing an argument with himself.  Slapping his cheeks once, he rose out of the bath and stepped out of the tub.  Standing still for a moment, he glared off at nothing in particular.
	"And thanks to you, you dumb Akane, I'm going to the dance with Kodachi."  He shivered slightly.  "That's not a date I'm looking forward to."
	He was just reaching for a towel when the sliding door was suddenly slammed open so forcefully that it jumped off its track.  Ranma lurched back in surprise and tripped over the wooden bathroom stool.  Eyes wide, the pig-tailed boy stared up at the two figures that hovered in the doorway, radiating anger.
	"R A N M A - K U N ! ! !"  Soun bellowed,  his large demonic head taking up most of the head-room in the place.  "WHAT IS THIS I HEAR?!?  YOU'RE GOING TO A DANCE WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER BY YOUR SIDE!?!"
	Incomprehensible sounds issued from Ranma's lips as he tried to scamper away on his butt.  Genma stepped forwards, tears rolling from his eyes,  "Son!  How could you abandon your fiancee?!  I can not believe such shameful behaviour from you!  How have I failed?!  Have I not raised you to be a man?!"
	"HOW COULD YOU NOT ASK MY DAUGHTER OUT!?!"
	"But...but I..." Ranma stuttered.  Fearful, he jumped up, twisted aside and shattered the faucet with a punch.  As cold water sprayed around the room, Ranma-chan looked back at the father and panda, then struck up a demure pose.  "But I'm just a girl!  It's the boy's duty to ask for a date!"


	Ranma-chan was busy running through the hallways of the house, trying to dodge a rather enraged Soun.  She'd managed to lose the panda in the kitchen, but Soun was made of sterner stuff; besides, he'd eaten recently.  Dressed in her boxer shorts and a towel over her shoulders, the red-head was only a few steps ahead of the no-dachi wielding, samurai-armour wearing father, who had rather unpleasant things in mind when he caught her.
	"It's not my fault!"  Ranma cried.
	"Take your punishment like a man!"
	Finally, Soun had Ranma trapped against one of the walls of the family room.  Standing over the youth's body, Tendo had tears running in streams down his face, the giant sword held high above his head.  "This is it Ranma-kun...here you will pay for the crimes you have committed against my daughter!"
	"Ojisan!  Please don't!"  Ranma begged.
	"Nothing can save you now!"  Soun shouted as he brought the sword down with all the force he could muster, aimed right towards Ranma's head...
	"Taidaima!"  Nabiki called as she and Akane walked into the main room, arms laidened with packages.  "Otosan, I was just telling Akane here that it's too bad Kasumi-oneechan isn't home.  She'd just love to see the whole new wardrobes Akane and I got to complement our brand new gowns for the dance.  By the way," she continued, seemingly ignorant of the fact her father was busy threatening their house-guest, "thanks for the use of your credit card."
	Sword an inch from Ranma's head, Soun froze, petrified, and then crumbled to dust at his daughter's words.  After a moment's pause, a gentle autumn breeze blew the shattered remains of the father out the door.
	"I think he took that rather well," Nabiki noted calmly.


	While they were waiting for dinner, Nabiki happened to glance at Ranma-chan.  "So Ranma-kun, when are you going to get sized for your suit?  Or in your present condition, your dress?"  Ranma looked back with a bored expression.
	"What?  I was thinking of going like I usually do."
	"Ranma-kun, the dress code might be inexcusably lax when it applies to you, but this isn't just a regular event.  The principal has declared that this is going to be a formal occasion, so not even you can get away with a kung-fu shirt and loose jeans."
	"We'll see about that," Ranma replied.  She was cut off when Panda came running into the room and headed for the garden doors.  "Hey, Oyaji!  What's up?"
	{Akane's in the kitchen!} his sign said, trying to work the latch on the door with the other paw.
	"Don't worry about it," Nabiki said calmly.  "I convinced Akane to pick up some take out while we were shopping."
	Panda sighed and came back in to sit down.  A once again whole Soun, sans the armour, also entered and joined the group.
	"Well," Soun began, to take his mind off the large number of parcels his daughters had brought home, "It's good that we're going to be able to eat at home like a normal family tonight."
	"Dinner's on!" Akane called as she walked in, carrying a tray full of chicken.  Soun looked down at the food suspiciously.
	"Umm, Nabiki, if this is take out, where are the boxes it came in?"
	Blinking, Nabiki looked confused, and glanced over at her sister.
	"Oh don't worry about that," Akane said, smiling as she handed out food.  "By the time we'd gotten home, the food was all cold.  I just took it out of its packages and re-heated it in the microwave."
	The cozy atmosphere of the room dropped a few degrees.
	Everyone started to edge away slightly, then Ranma-chan actually stopped and seemed to think for a moment.  To the stunned amazement of all present, except Akane who seemed oblivious to the state of near panic, the red-head returned to her place by the table.
	"Well," Ranma began, "since you seem to have learned, I guess I can trust you to actually use a microwave properly."
	"Is this true?!" Soun demanded, looking torn between love for his daughter and self-preservation.
	"Hey, I'm not sure about what happened at breakfast, but lunch was delicious.  And made by Akane."
	The others started to slowly slink back, Panda looking exceptionally nervous.  Ranma sighed.  "Look, as long as she didn't do anything else to it, it ought to be OK, shouldn't it?"
	They reluctantly nodded.
	"Akane," Ranma asked.  "Did you do anything to this food other then warm it up?"
	The youngest Tendo girl seemed to think for a moment.  "Well, I did think it would lose its flavour after re-heating, so I did add a little spice-"
	Without looking back, Panda tore out of the house and raced down the street.
	"-but I didn't add too much, as I felt that would be overdoing it."
	Everyone else, heading for any convenient exit, heard her mention restraint in the same sentence as cooking, and paused.  Looking back at her, who was watching them with wide, slightly confused eyes, they felt the subtle pull of family obligation.  Normally able to resist the compulsion, Nabiki and Soun both returned to the table.  After a moment, Ranma-chan followed, glancing at the food as if she expected it to leap up and attack her.
	"I suppose we must try," Nabiki muttered.
	"Yes, for the collective stake of the Tendo family, we must." her father answered.  Each picked up a chicken leg, held it before them, took a deep breath, and shoved the food down Ranma's throat.
	Ranma coughed, gagged, and made angry noises that failed to get beyond the food stuffed in her mouth.  After a moment, she started to breath again, and began chewing.  As the two others looked on in amazement, Ranma continued to chew, paused, spit out the two bones, and swallowed the meat.
	"It's good!  Like lunch, it's good!  Akane, you've done it!  Two meals in a row!  You've set a record!"
	Akane smiled gently, lowering her eyes.  "Thank you Ranma.  I'm glad you enjoyed it."
	The two other Tendo's looked on amazed, then cautiously took bites.  After a moment, Nabiki grinned at her sister, and their father let loose another flood of tears.
	"It's good!"

		*		*		*

	Next morning, as the sun rose on the lovely day, Ranma was pushing his reluctant father into the family room.
	"I'm telling you Oyaji, Akane won't kill you!  Just ask Ojisan, he'll tell you Akane's cooking is fine now!"
	{I'm too cute to die!}  Panda signed.  Ranma hit him.
	"Breakfast!" Akane called, walking in.  Panda broke free and tried to run for the hills.  Ranma hit him again.  Harder.  
	"Fine!  Go without for all I care!"  Ranma said and sat down.
	Panda was about to continue his flight when he noticed that Soun was also sitting there, eagerly awaiting the arrive of his youngest daughter and her home-cooked morning meal.  Seeing this, Panda stared for a moment, trying to make a decision.  Eventually, the possibility of getting good food overcame his better judgment.
	Of course, this wasn't the first time he'd made such a choice.
	Only after all the other's had begun to dig into their meals (and not keel over) did Panda cautiously sniff, then take a taste of the bounty before him.
	After that, it was nearly impossible to keep him from anyone's food.
	"You don't have to like it that much!" Ranma shouted, fighting his father for his own share.
	"I'm really glad Saotome-Ojisama is enjoying the meal," Akane said pleasantly.  "I'm so sorry if breakfast wasn't very good yesterday.  It's all my fault."
	"Don't worry about it," Soun replied, joyfully filling his face.  "Ranma-kun said you cooked a good dinner the night before, as well as lunch yesterday.  Supper last night was superb, and this is a marvelous feast.  I'm sure there is a simple reason why we didn't like breakfast yesterday."
	{There is a possibility,} Panda signed, still stuffing his muzzle.  {It did occur in the morning,}  he flipped the sign around.  {And it seems to have lessened with the passage of time...}
	Soun looked at his friend hopefully.  "Saotome-kun, you don't mean...do you truly think..."
	{It can be none other.  Nothing else can possibly explain it.}
	"What?"  Ranma asked, interested.
	"Why," Soun said, with fierce determination. "The only possible explanation for this change in her.  Something that could truly make a difference."
	"What?"  Ranma demanded.
	"{Morning sickness!!!}"  Both fathers signed and shouted at the same instant; each putting an arm around their respective child's shoulders.  "{Oh how we've waited for this day!!}"
	Ranma, his face flaming, punched this father right through the roof.  Akane on the other hand, wasn't even rosy and was gently trying to get her father to stop crying since it was ruining the floor mats.

		*		*		*

	On the way to school, Ranma was strolling along to top of the drainage fence, yaking in a slightly annoyed manner at the girl following him.	
	"I can't believe all the stuff I had to pack away last night.  You and Nabiki sure picked up a lot of things on that little shopping trip of your's."
	"Well Ranma, you know that this dance is going to be formal.  We had to get a few more things then if we were just going casual,"  Akane replied quietly and evenly.  Ranma had to turn his head to catch her words; for some reason she was walking about three paces behind him down on the sidewalk.  That in itself was unusual: normally she walked beside him or a couple of steps ahead, depending on how mad she was with him at the time.  Grunting in reply, he slowed his pace to allow her to catch up.
	"So I assume you picked out whatever it is you're going to wear?"
	Akane nodded.  "The gown will need a little work to get it ready, but there's nothing to worry about.  I just hope it will go with whatever Kuno-sempai is going to wear."
	Akane's innocent sounding remark had the affect of shooting arrows into Ranma's back.  Turning to glare at her, he noticed that when he'd slowed down, she'd also slacked her pace, keeping her position relative to him.  He frowned, trying to figure out what she was doing.  Exasperated, he finally asked, "Akane, what's going on here?"
	"What do you mean?"
	"Come on," he replied, "You don't think this is all a little too weird?  You're talking as if you're interested in going to the dance with Kuno!  And your cooking!  I mean, you're actually on a roll.  Two good meals in a row; at one time I'd never have thought that possible.  As well, you're usually telling me to hurry up in the mornings!  You're not acting like yourself.  Hell, I'd almost say you were-"  He suddenly stopped.
	"I was what?"  Akane asked innocently, cocking her head gently at him.  Ranma didn't answer, and he halted, looking around.  His spine was shivering as a cold chill ran through his body; a premonition of danger.  Below him, Akane stopped as well, looking around confused.  Searching the alley, Ranma saw someone lurking around a far corner, and tore off towards them.  "Hey you!"
	The face at the end of the wall disappeared.  He arrived and jumped to the ground, but there was no sign of anyone.  He glanced around suspiciously as Akane walked up.
	"Ranma?  Is something wrong?"
	"I don't know...I thought I saw someone here.  Yesterday Ukyou was telling me about a bunch of unfamiliar guys hanging around, almost as if they're looking for something."
	Akane tilted her head and smiled sweetly.  "Oh, I'm sure its just some grade 9 students checking out their future high school."
	"I don't think so," Ranma muttered, frowning slightly.  Cocking his head, he thought he heard a sound carried on the breeze; some sort of fading tune perhaps, but he just couldn't be sure.  Still with a frown, he headed off towards the school grounds, giving Akane a little push on the back to get her walking with him.
	Inside the gates, waiting on the path that led to the main door, was Kuno.  Head held tall and proud, the 'Blue Thunder' gazed forth at the two freshmen who approached him through the crowd of incoming students.  "Ah, the light the sun hath shone down since the dawn does now mine eyes reach as the very window to my soul gazes upon the fair maiden who has graced this one so noble servant with her presence so soon on his arm.  I bid unto you, Tendo Akane, ohayo gozaimas."
	Ranma stopped, his frown getting deeper.  He glanced over to see what Akane's reaction to all this was, then had to look over his shoulder as she was again standing a few paces behind him. 
	"Kuno-sempai," she began, bowing politely.  "Ohayo gozaimas.  I'm glad to see you're looking so well."
	Ranma looked very annoyed; Kuno's face lit up, joy evident on his features.  "Oh Tendo Akane!  I can not put into words the warmth my soul feels when you say such sweet things to me!"  Nonetheless, he tried.
	"It is the heat of an exploding sun, the fire from a well baked meal, the melting of the ice caps under the green house effect!"  He pulled out a bouquet of roses.  "It is the warmth of my love for you!" he shouted as he leapt towards her.
	Ranma stomped Kuno's head into the pavement.  Glaring at Akane, he opened his mouth to tell her something.  Blinking in an innocent manner, she cocked her head slightly and looked back at him.  "Yes, Ranma?  Is there something wrong?"
	After a moment of silence, Ranma slammed his jaw closed and stomped off into school.  Akane fell in a few steps behind him.
	Unnoticed, the rest of the school body trod indoors; using Kuno to wipe their feet.

		*		*		*

	Sitting on the bleachers, Ranma and his friends were waiting for their time at bat.  The boy's P.E. class was, as always, unofficially divided into two groups; those watching the game, and those watching the girls play soccer.
	Naturally, Hiroshi and Daisuke were of the latter group.  "So did you get a date for the dance yet?"  Hiroshi asked.
	"Yeah," Daisuke replied.  "She finally cornered me in the hall and just kept staring at me until I gave in and asked her.  How about you?"
	"She made me lunch," Hiroshi said, not taking his eyes from the girls.  "I didn't have any choice, did I?"
	"Ohh...you got hooked bad," his friend agreed.  "How 'bout you, Ranma?"
	"Huh?"  Ranma replied, having paid attention to the baseball game rather then either the girls or the conversation.
	"You ask Akane to the dance yet?"
	Ranma recoiled as if struck.  He turned back to watch the next guy at bat and hunched over slightly.  "That kawaikune girl?  Not a chance!"  There was a pause before he finally spit out, "Anyway...Kuno already asked her out."
	"Kuno-sempai!"  Both Hiroshi and Daisuke gasped.  Eyes wide with surprise, they looked at each other.  
	"Lucky guy," Daisuke muttered.
	"Poor girl,"  Hiroshi returned.
	"Like I care what she does," Ranma continued, sounding a little bitter.  "I've got my own date."
	"Ukyou?"
	"Uh...no."
	"Heh...I thought there was a reason why she was ignoring you this morning.  I guess it's that cute Shampoo then."
	"Uh...no."
	Hiroshi began ticking off his fingers.  "Not Akane, not Ukyou, not Shampoo.  Unless someone else's arrived that we don't know about, that only leaves-"
	"Kodachi?!"  Both shouted, shocked.  Ranma grunted as the batter ahead of him struck out.  Picking up a bat, he headed towards the plate.
	<Like I care,> he repeated to himself.  <That masculine dork can just go and do what she wants!  'I'm glad you're looking so well this morning,'> he mimicked.  Stepping up to the plate, he glanced over at the girls' soccer game.
	On the field, he saw Akane playing defense, something she didn't often do.  She generally preferred offense <Like the tomboy she is,> Ranma thought. He saw someone race towards her with the ball, and deliver a strong kick.
	Akane shrieked and ducked, covering her head as the ball passed by; nowhere near her.  Ranma gasped.  <What the...?>
	Hinako-chan blew her whistle and Tokyo Shuffled over to Akane, who looked up, blinked, then laughed.
	"Good going Tendo-san!"  The sensei said.  "You're really getting into the spirit of the game!  That's enough for today girls, now hit the showers!  You've all earned a nice hot one!"
	Blinking in shock, Ranma stared; he couldn't believe what he'd just seen.  Akane shrieking and ducking?  What was going on?
	There was a rush of air followed by a meaty TWACK.  Ranma crashed to the plate with a baseball where his nose had once been.
	"Saotome, take your base," the umpire called.

		*		*		*

	Having finished shop, Ranma wandered through the school to kill time.  <I just can't shake this strange feeling that something isn't right,> he thought as he moved through the crowds.  <It's dumb, but I just can't shake it.>
	"Hey Ranma," Daisuke called.  Ranma looked up and saw there were a lot of guys waiting in a cluster.
	"Hey, what are you guys doing here?"  Glancing up to read the door identifier, he saw the gang was hanging outside the home Ec room.
	"Come on Ranma," Hiroshi informed him.  "Today's the day the girls bake in Home Ec.  Why do you think we're hanging around?"
	"Oh yeah," muttered Ranma, a look of recognition dawning on his face.  "I knew there was a reason I generally avoid this place."
	He turned to leave, then paused.  <Wait a minute...I don't have to worry anymore.  Dinner was good last night, so was breakfast, and she even made a yummy lunch too...three good meals in a row.  She's learned.>  Taking a deep breath, he turned back and waited with the rest of the guys.  <Come to think about it, a snack might be just what I need to clear my head.>
	The sounds of giggling and girls' voices came from the room, then the door slid aside.  One by one individual girls left the room, each carrying a tasty morsel wrapped in a handkerchief.  Quickly, individual guys surrounded certain girls, and further giggles or timid proposals for dance dates could be heard in the hall.
	"Ranma!" Akane said as she walked up to him.  He noticed she had a donut held in her hands.  At least he guessed it was a donut, although it seemed more square then circular and possessed more then one hole.
	"You make that?"
	"Of course!" Akane replied brightly. He shivered for a moment in a conditioned reaction to seeing her with food.  Her eyes narrowed and she stared hard at him.  "You are going to try it, aren't you?"  Ranma took a deep breath.
	"Yeah, I guess since you've learned to cook, I might as well enjoy it."  He picked up the donut; Akane smiled and looked up at him as he moved it towards his mouth...
	A bokken blade flashed in and speared the donut through one of its holes, tearing it from Ranma's grip.  "Iie!  Saotome!"  Kuno said as he stood there, bokken held in a guard position, donut near the tip.  "What seek you, to come between the lady and myself?  She who is to be my companion did so graciously make this morsel of delight for me and me alone.  You should not pester her so; go seek my sister if you desire tidbits."
	"Stay out of this, sempai!"  Akane said, very annoyed.  
	"But my dear Akane-kun," he began, his poetry switching from martial to flowery in but a breath.  "You have been courteous enough to agree to accompany me to the festival, how can I possibly contain myself as I overflow with joy?"
	Akane looked uncertain.  "I-its true you asked me," she began, sounding as if she was having doubts about having said yes; then she hardened her voice.  "But just because I agreed to go with you doesn't mean that I-"
	"Oh come on now Akane," Ranma said, a snide attitude reflected in his voice and posture.  He nudged her lightly with his shoulder, "Why don't you give some to Kuno?  After all, you were _so_ polite to him this morning, and it wouldn't do if you were rude."
	"Who's being rude, you jerk!?"  Akane yelled as she tried to side kick Ranma.  He leapt over her leg, making a face at her as he did so.  Then twisted in the air as the 'Blue Thunder' stuck out at him with his donut tipped bokken.
	"I shall not have you speaking ill of my partner!"  Kuno shouted, wrapping an arm about Akane's shoulders.
	She tossed him out the open window.  "Don't get so familiar!"  Ranma easily snagged the bokken as Kuno flew by.
	"Geez, you don't seem so concerned about being rude now,"  he muttered.  Akane grabbed the bokken from him.  Holding the wooden sword menacingly, she shoved the donut into his face.
	"Are you going to eat it or not?"
	Casually removing the donut, Ranma grunted.  "Don't know what I was worried about before.  Looks like you're almost back to normal: you're uncute, violent, and pushy.  But at least now you can cook."  Flicking the donut off, he jumped up (above her strike) and glomped the pastry in a single gulp.

		*		*		*

	As the final bell tolled through the air, students joyfully began to flee Furinkan High.  Among the crowd, Ranma slowly and uneasily faltered as he walked, holding his stomach.  Walking exactly beside him, Akane had an expression on her face that was a cross between embarrassment and annoyance.
	"I already said I'm sorry," she muttered.  "I just don't understand it, you liked breakfast and the lunches I made.  Heck, you even ate mine before I had a chance to have any.  So how come when you bite into the donut you turn green, start twitching, and are unable to dodge my sword?"
	Ranma's stomach rebelled for a moment when she began talking about food.  Getting it under control, he shook his head.  "I don't know how, but that 'donut' of your's reached a new level of toxicity.  I'm just lucky to be alive."
	Akane frowned and was about to reply when something caught her eye.  Turning sharply, she saw someone hiding behind a tree, his gaze flickering between the departing students.  When he saw that she was looking at him, the guy panicked and bolted.  She turned to see if Ranma had caught a glimpse.
	Ranma, busy dry-heaving, hadn't noticed.
	"Ohh, I don't think I can take much more of this," Ranma groaned.  "At least before, I knew enough to stay away from your cooking.  Now, it's like playing a twisted game of Russian Roulette with you."
	"That's not true," Akane said stiffly.  Ranma looked at her for a second, then nodded.
	"You're right; Russian Roulette only has one bullet in the gun.  Your cooking doesn't give me odds that good."
	"If you don't like it, why do you keep eating it!?"  she asked, slamming her school bag on his head.
	"If you don't like Kuno-sempai, why are you going to the dance with him?"  Ranma countered, not answering.  Akane blinked, surprised at the question Ranma had raised.
	"Well?"
	"Why," she responded, grinning slightly.  "Are you jealous?"
	"As if!  I just...I just..." he glanced around quickly to make sure no one was within earshot.  "I just want to know why you chose him."  Akane blinked again, uneasily  Unsure, she glanced down at her feet, thinking it over.
	"I-I really don't know.  Now that I think about it, I can't understand why I agreed.  At the time, I-I..." she trailed off for a moment, her brow furrowing as she seemed to question her own memories.  "I...I just felt that it was the proper thing to do.  I couldn't bring myself to say no to him.  It wouldn't have been..."  She struggled for a moment, looking for a word to describe how she'd felt.  "Wouldn't have been..."
	Looking back up at Ranma, a cloud of confusion on her face, she hesitantly finished, "...right..."
	The two exchanged gazes for awhile, Ranma expressing confusion and Akane a little trepidation.  Finally, Ranma turned away.  "I think," he began, "that something isn't right with all this.  Its time we found out for sure..."


	While this occurred, the figure Akane had alarmed was running down an empty street.  Now seen clearly, it was the same boy Ranma had startled this morning.  He was of high school age, wearing some school uniform that consisted of a blue jacket, pants and tie.  In his hands, he carried a small flute.
	Rounding the corner, he came to a sudden stop and bowed respectfully to the person before him.  "It is as you expected.  The one you seek does attend school at Furinkan."
	"Excellent," the other responded.  "Assume your place, it is almost time to commence our struggle against that most hated of foes."  
	As the boy ran to assume his position, the other smiled coldly.  "Soon it will all come to pass.  My life-long rival will so feel the sting of shame and defeat that I've carried for so long now."
	In the background, dark and powerful music, heavy on the bass (like something done by Danny Elfman), echoed through the streets.

[author's note: Danny Elfman wrote the scores to the first two Batman movies.  Imagine something like that]

		*		*		*

	Ka-chunk.
	Dial.  Dial.  Dial.
	Ring...Ring...Ring...
	"Come on...pick up this time..."
	The young man using the pay phone was a blue-eyed, brown-haired caucasian, with a slight out-of-this-world cast to his features.  He had a thin vertical mark between his brows and a small triangle on each cheekbone.  His most memorable feature was his clothing, which looked like something out of the latest El Hazard OVA.
	"Hello?  Yes!  I've finally done it!  Kami Help Line, this is Darken!  I've been trying to get ahold of you for the last little while!  I haven't received my transfer orders yet and I need to know-"
	The young man paused, then blinked for a moment.  "Uh, this isn't the Kami Help Line?  Who is it then?"  There was a pause as the person on the other end said something.  Darken blinked again.
	"Timora's House of Ramen?  Are you sure you're not the Help Line?  I've got their number right here and-"  Another pause.  "No, I don't want to order anything.  Look, I'm trying to contact the Yaggdrasil main system and-"  
	"Wait!  Don't hang up!  That was my last 10 yen coin!  Don't-!"
	The figure looked down at the receiver in his hand with a distraught expression.  "He hung up."  Darken placed the phone down on its cradle and began patting the pockets of his clothes.  "Darn it all, I hate rooting through water fountains to get change for the phone-"
	"Hey, Darken!"  someone called.  The kami jumped, and turned quickly towards the voice.  "I didn't do it!  Honest!" he said, managing to look worried, terrified, and guilty all at the same instant.  Then he relaxed as he recognized the two familiar faces.
	"Ranma, Akane!  Nice to see you again."  The kami said as the two school kids walked up to him.  "So, what brings you here?"
	"Actually Darken, we have some questions we need answered."
	Darken smiled an indulgent smile full of self-importance.  "Ah yes, of course.  Man's eternal quest for knowledge and the truth.  A search for answers that eventually leads all men to kami like myself."
	"We do need help," Ranma acknowledged.  "Even from a brevet third class, limited license, probational kami like yourself."  
	Darken cringed violently.
	"Ah...right," he continued, noticeably less smug.   "Anyway, I'm touched that you thought of me."
	"Well," Akane began.  "Tofu-sensei is out of town, so we couldn't go to him."
	"I...see."
	"And Shampoo's ticked that I'm not taking her to a dance; so we couldn't ask her great-grandmother," Ranma continued.
	"I...see."
	"After that, we headed straight to you."
	"I'm...overwhelmed," Darken muttered darkly.  Then he returned to his standard humour.  "So what's your problem?  Questions about the afterlife?  The amount of sin on your souls?  What would happen if Ranma ever grew a mustache?"
	"Actually," Ranma began, "Strange things have been happening recently-"
	"Really?" Darken replied, deadpan.  "Here?  Involving you?  I just can't imagine."
	Ranma frowned, annoyed at the kami's cavalier attitude.  "It's kinda hard to describe, but Akane's been acting really meek recently-"
	"What's so strange about that!?" Akane demanded.
	"-And she's actually been cooking decent meals occasionally."
	"Whoa...that is unusual," Darken agreed.  Mouth scrunched up angrily, Akane was just about to punch out both guys when Darken raised his hands and held them out towards her.  A soft, blue globe of energy formed around them.
	"What are you doing?"  she asked.
	"Just doing some tests," Darken assured her.  "I need to get some information before I can begin.  Don't worry, it's just standard stuff: biological pattern, Astral pattern, sexo-psycho pattern, over dimension, parallel pattern."  He turned to Ranma.  "Oh, for the records, I'll be needing a sample from you Ranma, just let me check Akane's aura first."
	Darken squinted at Akane while the two school kids exchanged glances;  Ranma making a twirling motion along side his head with one finger.  After a moment, Darken straightened up, scowling somewhat.  "Ranma, move away would ya?  You're too close; your auras are overlapping and its confusing the reading."
	Ranma rolled his eyes, but took a step away.  Darken looked again; as they watched, his scowl slowly transformed into a bewildered expression.  Blinking repeatedly, he suddenly glanced over at Ranma, then quickly back to Akane.  His head snapped between the two, his eyes wide.
	"What is it?!" Ranma asked, suddenly a little scared by the kami's uneasiness.  "Is something wrong with Akane?"
	Darken rubbed his chin; "I don't believe it," he muttered, ignoring Ranma.  Taking a deep breath, he straightened up and looked Akane right in the eye.  "Akane...I want you to tell me about your fiance."
	"What?!"  They both gasped.  Glancing at each other, they quickly turned away, faces burning.  "W-what does that have to do with anything?"  she asked, annoyed.
	"Please," Darken pressed.  "It's important."
	Uneasily, Akane shifted her weight from one foot to the other, thinking.  "Well...he's rude, hard to get along with, he eats like a pig, doesn't say a single kind word, he's emotionally immature-"
	While Ranma stood there, quietly seething, Darken just nodded.  As she was talking, the kami pulled out a small bottle from his robes and quickly poured some water over her head.
	Akane blinked once, then continued, "-and he's got a good heart and is someone I can trust."  She blushed and looked down at her feet, no longer shifting her weight.  "And...and I can always count on him to come through for me.  I really don't know what I'd do without him," she finished, still gazing at her toes, a spot of rouge in her cheeks.
	Ranma's jaw dropped a good two feet.
	"That clinches it," Darken muttered.  "I didn't believe it when I read it in her aura, but this action proves it; Akane is under the curse of Jhusenkyou."

	
	"No way!" Ranma shouted.  "What sort of a quack are you?!  Look at her!  She didn't change into some animal when you poured that water on her!  She just got...got..." he struggled for a moment to describe what he'd just heard.  "Got...strange!"
	Darken shook his head.  "Look Ranma, I know what I'm talking about.  Cursing used to be my specialty-"
	"Used to be?"  Ranma asked, annoyed.
	"Ever since Belldandy and her sisters left, we've been understaffed in the heavens.  Cursing Control Division got downsized and amalgamated with other departments, so I can't specialize anymore.  However, from multiple, all too personal experiences, I know enough to recognize a curse when I see one."
	Ranma stared at Akane, who was watching the two boys with wide, curious eyes.  "If she's cursed, how come she didn't change?"
	"Ah, but she did, Ranma.  Didn't you notice the change in attitude she experienced?"
	Ranma glanced at Darken sharply.  "You mean the fact she got all nice all of a sudden?"
	Darken nodded.  "Yes, unlike the rest of the local cursed population, you and your friends particularly, she doesn't undergo a physical alteration.  It seems as if Akane is experiencing a mental change when the curse trigger is presented.  Judging by what I've seen in her aura and your's, I can narrow the curse down to its specific pool."
	"Well, what is it?"  Ranma demanded.
	Darken looked him in the eye and paused to build dramatic tension. 
	Until Ranma stood on his head.  "Just say it!"
	"Nyannichuan."
	Ranma looked stunned.  "Spring of Drowned Girl?  You mean..."
	Darken nodded grimly.
	"You mean..." Ranma turned to face Akane, who was staring back at him innocently.  "You mean...Akane really isn't a girl normally!?"  He clenched a fist.  "I always knew it!"
	Darken face-faulted, then force-blasted Ranma into a wall.
	"Sorry 'bout that," Darken said.  "But in Akane's present state she won't hurt a fly, and that comment just shouldn't pass unpunished."  Pulling out an electronic notebook, the kami seemed to consult some notes.
	"Actually, it seems as if Akane is affected by a different manifestation of the curse.  My guess is she received exposure to a concentrated form of Nyannichuan water that had the impurities filtered out.  Such a concentrated form, if taken internally, could result in what we're seeing here."
	"Bull," Ranma replied.  "Akane is-" he paused, glanced quickly at her, then muttered very quietly, "Akane is a girl.  How could it change her?"
	"See here," Darken began, pointing to the large Easy-To-Understand-Diagram (tm) that had conveniently appeared from hammerspace.  "As this diagram shows, the genetic structure of a human is made up of 46 chromosomes.  These are paired into 22 sets of identical pairs, and one set of two sex chromosomes.  For females, the sex chromosomes consist of two X's.  With guys, it's an X and a Y.  The genetic information on the X chromosome is needed for life, so the single X is used in the guy, and the Y determines sex.  Girls on the other hand, don't have or need the Y, but still only use one of their two X chromosomes.  Since they have in effect an 'extra' X, one of them is deactivated via a long, boring process called 'dosage compensation.'
	"In the case of Nyannichuan affecting you Ranma, the magic causes a transmorgification of your Y chromosome into a deactivated X.  Since you no longer have the male genes, you revert to a female state, but there's not too much alteration of your system otherwise.
	"In Akane's case, the concentrated dose she's received has in effect partially activated her normally inactive X.  With this boost of female genes, it's causing a hormonal change in the pathways of her mind, altering her personality and actions."
	Ranma looked stunned (and truth be told, a little lost).  "Can this be?"
	Proud and defiant, Darken looked him in the eye.  "Actually, I'm just guessing."  He grinned and rubbed the back of his head self-consciously.  "Have to admit though, it sure sounds better then most other techno-babble explanations you'll hear."


	After Darken recovered from the justifiable beating he received, he tried to continue the explanation.
	"The long and the short of it is that whenever Akane gets splashed with cold water, she'll undergo a personality shift where she'll make Kasumi look butch."
	"And her cooking abilities?" Ranma asked, looking closely at Akane.
	Darken shrugged.  "My guess is that the rush of hormones has awakened her latent cooking skills.  As well, these also cause her to express the whole range of what are stereotypically considered to be female traits: passivity, kindness, non-argumentiviness, sweetness, submissiviness, compliant nature, being obedient...All the things to make a male chauvinist deliriously happy."
	"I don't believe this,"  Ranma snapped, looking over the girl.  "Akane, you klutz, did you somehow fall into a cursed pool?"
	"I'm terribly sorry Ranma, I don't ever recall falling into a Jhusenkyou pool.  I can't remember anything that might have caused this to me."
	"Well, how could this have happened?!"
	Darken was consulting his notes.  "Off hand, I'd guess someone obtained some water from Nyannichuan and distilled it to remove the impurities; probably in an attempt to alter someone's personality.  Know anyone who likes to mess with magic?"
	"Well," Akane began, "Happosai Jiji-sama occasionally dabbles in enchantments."  She giggled, "He's so cute when he's busy whipping up something vile."
	Ranma glowered.  "I'll kill the old freak."
	"You do that," Darken muttered, not really paying attention.  He put his notebook away and tapped a finger to his lips.  "I'll look into this, but I'm not really sure what I can do.  These curses are really difficult to deal with."
	"Oh," Akane said quietly, "I really don't want you to worry on my account-"
	Ranma looked surprised.  "Huh?  Why bother?  Let's just make the best of this.  After all, now that we what's causing the problem, we can deal with it."
	"Ranma," Darken began, "I really don't think that's-"
	"What are you talking about?  It's not all that bad."
	Darken raised an eyebrow; "Not all that bad?"
 	"Yeah," Ranma returned.  "I've learned to live with my curse, Akane can live with her's.  It's not like its the end of the world, or that she's turned into a duck or something bad like that.  Besides, she's always saying she wants to cook."
	Akane smiled at Ranma.  "I'm glad you like my cooking."
	"And she's nice," Ranma continued, his voice becoming animated as he stared off at the horizon, a look on wonder on his face.  "You have any idea how rare that is for Akane?"
	Darken pulled out a kettle and poured a stream of steaming water over Akane's head.
	"Come on, you know how violent, uncooperative, and contentious she is normally.  This'll be a great change!"  Ranma looked back and put a hand on her shoulder.  "Admit it Akane, it'll be good for you to finally learn how to act like a girl."
	Akane smiled, looked up at him, and slammed a nearby 10-foot tall statue of Buddha on Ranma's head.
	"It is fate," Darken muttered, clapping his hands into a prayer position.

		*		*		*

	Later that evening, Ranma and Akane explained the situation to the family.  They took it pretty much as expected.
	"OH MY POOR BABY!!!"  Soun cried, inflicting vast amounts of water damage on the floor.  "My darling daughter, forced to suffer from an unimaginable curse!!  Oh, it is a trial from heaven!!  Why have the kami forsaken us so?!?"
	"Hey!" Ranma muttered, somewhat annoyed.  "I'm under the same curse as she is, and I've had it longer.  How come no one cares about that?"
	{Because you're suppose to take it like a man!  Like me!}  Panda signed, still playing with an old tire.
	Soun grabbed his youngest daughter's shoulders and held on to her.  "Oh Akane, forgive your foolish father for not keeping this horror from you!!  Your late mother will never forgive me for allowing this!!"
	"Otosan," Akane said bravely, giving her dad a slightly exasperated look.  "It's not that bad.  I'm still me."
	"Yeah," Ranma agreed, "She doesn't change into an animal, and as an added bonus, she won't kill us when she cooks."
	"Shut up, Ranma!"  Akane yelled.  Before life-altering injury could be done to him, Happosai bounced into the room, heading straight for Akane's chest.
	"Welcome home, dear Akane-chan!"  the old freak said joyfully.  He never reached her as Ranma, Soun, and Genma all began to stomp him into the floor.
	"Is something wrong," the small collection of big bruises asked when they were finished.
	"What were you thinking, cursing Akane like that?!"  Ranma returned, shaking him roughly.
	"What do you mean?"
	"We know all about your messing with Nyannichuan water to turn Akane into a girl!"
	"I am a girl!" Akane yelled, stomping on Ranma's head.
	"But-but it didn't work!"  Happosai protested, staring at Ranma with big, innocent, teary eyes.  "I splashed you with the water I worked on, and you didn't become a pure, sweet, lovely young maiden!"
	Ranma's eyes bugged out.  "You wanted to turn me into a girl?  Mentally as well as physically?!"
	"Yes," the old goat proudly pronounced, unaware of the fact most of the room was looking at him and pulling out large implements of pain and suffering.  "I decided that the only way to truly experience bliss in your arms was for you to fully convert to a woman along with your lovely figure.  But alas, when I splashed you with the water I'd worked so hard to prepare, not a thing happened."  He began to weep, "Oh, how crushed I was at my failure."
	"But it worked on Akane," Ranma said, shivering.  "How come I'm not out there shopping and gossiping and painting my nails?"
	"What did he try and do to you?"  Akane asked.
	"Uh, I think Jiji tried to get me to drink some kind of water a few days ago in the kitchen-"  Ranma turned to look at Akane, his voice trailing off.
	"And...and I had a glass of water after your big fight there..." Akane finished for him, looking stunned.  Then anger took over.
	"You jerk!" She screamed.  "Happosai tries to force something on you and you don't think to get rid of it?!"
	"What are you talking about?!"  Ranma returned.  "I dumped most of it down the sink!  You were a dork to go and get yourself cursed like that!  You should have been more careful!"
	"If you'd dealt with it properly, I wouldn't be in this situation right now!"
	Watching the argument, Happosai suddenly seemed to catch on.  "You mean, it actually worked?  And Akane-chan is the one affected?  Oh my dear girl, please accept the apologies of this old fool!  I never intended for you to be my target!"  He leapt towards her, his only thought to comfort the poor dear in her time of trial (yeah, right).
	Akane punched him away.  "This is all your fault!  And your's too Ranma!"  Happosai landed feet-first against a wall, then sprang back towards Akane, now holding a pail of water in his hands.  "Maybe now you'll accept my sincere apologies!" he said as he splashed water at her.
	Akane shrieked and grabbed Ranma, pulling him in front of her as a shield.  The water splashed him, and Happosai instead ended up glomping onto Ranma-chan's bust.
	"Even better!" the old goat shouted triumphantly.  While Ranma ran around screaming, trying to pry the old lech off, Akane just ground her teeth at the two of them.  Suddenly, she looked up in surprise.  	"Oh, it's almost dinner!  I've got to hurry!"  Getting to her feet, she booted both Ranma and Happosai out the door and headed off to the kitchen.
	Still in the family room, Nabiki sat and watched Panda try and comfort a still-crying Soun.  Panda held up a sign {There, there...}, while gently patting his back. After a moment, Panda suddenly looked up and brought out a new sign.
	{She said something about dinner, didn't she?}
	Completely forgetting about his best friend, Panda grabbed a pail of water and raced off down the hall.  {Oh, Akane-kun...}  his sign read.
	Nabiki shook her head.  "I really do wonder what we did for fun around here before the Saotomes arrived."

		*				*				*

	As the dawn slowly shone over the daybreak, Akane jogged into sight through the light morning mists.  Keeping her pace, she sprang airborne and practiced a few jump kicks.  Her breathing even, she landed easily and continued on her way.  Having done this routine over and over again, her body moved without conscious thought; her mind busy pondering what had befallen her.
	Like Ranma, she was now cursed; all the wonderful insults she'd come up with over the last few months to remind him of that he could now use against her.  At least she didn't turn into an animal; that was about the only bright thing she could see in this whole mess.
	Turning a corner, she considered exactly how she changed.  It was odd, but if someone hadn't told her, she probably never would have found out for herself.  She didn't actually feel any different when it occurred, just experienced a change in mood. Thinking back to those times when Ranma had told her she'd been acting weird, she really couldn't place any difference in her feelings; just a general sense of how smoothly things were going.  Kind of like the impression that events simply weren't anything worth getting excited over.
	She shook her head and slowed to a walk.  It was, in a way, kind of scary.  Not to be fully in control of yourself, choosing what you wanted to do; it left her feeling just a little vulnerable.  It was sort of the exact opposite, and yet so similar, to the times when Ranma made her see red.  Both involved a complete loss of decision making power and surrender of control, except in one case she beat her fiance, and the other she cooked for him.  It reminded her of the time Mousse had put Shampoo's contrary jewel on her.  Looking back, she recalled how she'd felt, not able to control or trust her own actions.  It left her with a feeling of powerlessness, and it wasn't something she was comfortable with.
	Looking into the dawn, she wondered what she was going to do.  No one had yet found a cure for the Jhusenkyou curses, not for lack of trying on Ranma's part, so it looked like she was going to have to learn to live with this.  Accept the fact that there were times she just couldn't be in total control of herself.  She shuddered slightly.  
	Thrusting that thought aside, Akane wondered if she really was all that different when she changed; Ranma swore that he almost couldn't recognize her.  Akane had scoffed at his comments; she'd never really trusted Ranma's accounts on being a girl, how could she?  Was she was going to base femininity on the opinions of a sex-changing, macho jerk who hadn't had a single stable female influence in his whole life?
	And yet, despite all that, she couldn't help but worry and feel upset when he made fun of her.  She didn't want to admit it, but she did care.  Could Ranma be right, did she really become so different when she changed?  Did he really mean it when he'd suggested that she use this opportunity to learn how to really be a girl...
	His words taunted her, hollowly echoing themselves in her mind.
	'Learn how to really be a girl...'
	'Learn how to really be a girl...'
	Akane spun around suddenly, and caught Ranma-chan following behind her, whispering the phrase in her ear.   
	"Don't do that!" Akane yelled, clobbering the red-head.


	The two stopped at the drainage ditch and leaned against the fence.  It was a still morning, with no wind to ruffle their hair.  Standing side-by-side both gazed out, not looking at the other.  Keeping silent, they directed their attention out to the cityscape before them.
	Ranma finally broke the stillness and cleared her throat.  "So...how are you...you know, handling it?"  She asked gruffly, but with a tinge of concern in her voice.
	"I'm still sort of in shock over the whole thing.  It's not something I ever thought I'd have to deal with...I-I guess I'll get used to it."  She looked down at the water flowing in the pit, then glanced over at Ranma.  "I hope I can deal with it as well as you have with your's."
	"What?  I'll never get used to my curse!  It's annoying, stupid, and causes me no end of-"  she suddenly cut herself off when she realized how Akane might be taking it.  "Uh...that is...its...uh..."
	Akane looked back out over the town, her gaze thoughtful.  "You know, sometimes I actually manage to forget that you're cursed."  Ranma-chan started, then stared at her.  "Don't look at me like that.  You've been this way ever since I've met you...it's just hard for me to picture you not changing into a girl."
	"Well, try a little harder," Ranma grunted.  "One of these days, I'm going to rid myself of this annoyance for good."
	"You hate it that much?"
	"Damn right," Ranma-chan replied.  "I'll do anything so that this," she gestured to her ample chest, "won't plague me anymore."
	"And until then?" Akane asked quietly.
	"Until then I've just got to live with it.  I don't have to like it, and I'll do anything to get rid of it, but I do have to accept it for now."
	Akane folded her arms against the fence and rested her chin on her arms.  "I guess I'll have to as well."
	For a long moment, Ranma didn't answer.  From the corner of her eye, she watched as Akane stared out over the cityscape, a slightly sorrowful, introspective look on her face.  Swallowing once, Ranma turned to stare out as well, feeling the uncomfortable need to do something, anything.
	"Come on," Ranma said, trying to lift her spirits.  "Your problem really isn't that bad."
	"I guess not," Akane agreed, sounding unsure.
	"Look at it this way: you don't get fur and you don't get feathers."
	"I suppose you're right," she muttered.
	"Heck," Ranma continued, still trying to cheer her up.   "It actually does you some good."  Akane raised an eyebrow.  "Yes, without this curse, you'd never have been able to produce a dinner that didn't raise our medical insurance." 
	Akane frowned.
	"All you've got to do is take some notes when you get wet, and you'll soon learn where you go wrong with your normal behaviour.  Like I've said, a little time and there's the small chance that you'll finally learn what it means to be a girl."
	Akane began to shake with anger.
	"Yes siree...a little note taking, some time to work on it, and who knows?  You might actually make some poor fool a decent wife."
	The veins stood out on Akane's forehead.
	"That might be taking it a bit too far, as you're pretty well set in your ways," the red-head continued, not bothering to look at Akane.  "But you'd hardly think that anything that could make you act more feminine could possibly be a curse."  She began to laugh.  "Although I think calling it 'the blessing of Jhusenkyou' might not fly to well with the local crowd."
	Akane picked Ranma up and tossed her into the drainage ditch.  "Thanks for your concern, you stupid ingrate!"

		*		*		*

	It took Ranma quite some time to crawl out of the drainage ditch, all the while muttering nasty things about Akane.  Finally, she flipped herself over the fence and landed on the empty sidewalk, not at all in a good mood.
	"Here I am, trying to cheer the dumb klutz up, and she gets mad at me.  Well, that's it," she vowed, just like she'd vowed countless times before.  "No more.  I'm not having anything more to do with that kawaikune brute.  As far as I'm concerned, she can just suffer with her own stupid problems."
	"A wise decision my friend!"
	Ranma-chan snapped around, looking for the speaker.  "Who's there?!" she demanded.  Slowly, music drifted to her ears, a single beat that rose and fell with disturbing regularity and repetition.  Slowly, the beat began to get faster and faster, becoming like an excited heartbeat.  She'd heard the tune somewhere before, if she could just recall where...she suddenly remembered a movie theater her father had taken her while they were in China.  Never one to get new-releases, the theater had been showing older films, and with a start, Ranma placed the music as the opening theme to 'Jaws.'
	Just the as music reached its peak, a girl walked out into Ranma's sight from one of the many streets that joined up with the sidewalk.
	She was a high school girl, as old as Ranma.  Black hair, just brushing her shoulders hung down from her head, with one side held back by a hair-pin.  Bright brown eyes looked out from an attractive face marred somewhat by the small, narrow-eyed smile.  Her school uniform was a light green jacket and skirt combination.  In one of her hands, she carried a long, thin piece of wood, which was far to long for a single chop stick.
	"I believe," the stranger said, giving Ranma-chan a small smile, "that we can be of assistance to each other."
	"Who are you?!" Ranma demanded, having learned from experience that she had much to fear from strange women, and forgetting the fact that she had even more to fear from women she actually knew (all of whom were still strange).
	The new girl clenched her fist and struck up a pose full of self-confidence and pride.  "I am someone in search of vengeance, someone who seeks to right a horrible injustice done to me.  I am the leader of the Henheri High marching band.  I am a master in the ancient and devastating martial arts skill of Tae Kwon Do Rei Me.  I am..."  She paused to build up suspense.  "I am...Bofu Ongyoko!"
	In the background, the Emperor's theme from 'Return of the Jedi' played strong and sure.
	"And this is my orchestra," she continued, casually motioning to the gang of students behind her, all holding instruments and finishing the intro music.
	"Hi Red!"
	"How ya doing?"
	"Nice to meet you!"
	"Want a date?"
	Music finished, dead silence settled over the area.  Recovering her wits -which, after an intro like that, had understandably gone astray- Ranma-chan shook her head and looked at this Ongyoko person hard.  "What do you want?" she asked with all her usual grace and tact.
	"Why, only what you must now also want," Ongyoko said.  "Revenge against the fiend who was so cruel and unjust to you just a few minutes ago."
	Blinking for a moment, Ranma stared at the girl.  "You mean Akane?"
	"Yes!!"  Ongyoko shouted, her face turning livid at the mere mention of the name.  "She who is a vexation to all good people, she who has left tragedy and shame in her wake, it is she whom we both despise!"
	"Now wait a minute-" Ranma-chan began.
	"Did the evil one not just toss you into the stagnant and vile water?  Did she not taunt you, call you names, then throw a mailbox down on you?"
	"Well, yes..." Ranma agreed, reluctantly.  "But that-"
	Before she could say any more, Ongyoko grabbed her hand in one of her's, the other moving the conductor's baton at the band, causing them to play a sad, melancholy tune.  "Yes, yes.  I understand all too well.  Like you, I am a victim of the horrible and thoughtless practices of the vile Tendo Akane.  She too has made a mockery of my life, and exists only to shatter my dreams."
	<Well now,> Ranma thought to herself.  <I knew Akane had to have wrecked someone's life other then mine.>  Still kind of angry at her fiancee, but determined to get some more information, Ranma-chan nodded to Ongyoko.  "It is as you say!  Akane is mean to me, she hits me, beats me for no reason!  She's aggressive!  She mocks my gender, and forces unspeakable concoctions upon me!"  Ranma turned on the waterworks to finish the display of righteous hurt.
	"There, there, my dear," Ongyoko said, now full of sympathy for the shorter girl and what she'd suffered through.  "Don't cry, however evil the Tendo fiend has been to you, you now have friends that will stand with you!"  Behind her, the orchestra began to play, 'I'll be there for you.'
	Looking up through her fake tears, Ranma gazed at the new girl with eyes full of water and shimmering.  "Oh, please Ongyoko-san!  Tell me how Aka...I mean, how Tendo has ruined your life!  Share your story so that I might know I'm not alone in my suffering!"
	<Heh heh heh.  Once I get the details, I'll be able to tell Akane that she's responsible for wreaking someone's life other then just mine.  That her uncouth ways are the source of more then just my own pain.  Hope it's some pretty good dirt.>
	 "Oh, how I wish I could share my shame with you!"  Ongyoko said as the band behind her played 'Sad songs say so much.'  "However, I just can't bear to relive that terrible moment in my life as yet!  Only after I have defeated my foe will I truly be able to face my demons!"
	"Come on," Ranma-chan encouraged, tears now gone and trying to psych Ongyoko up.  "It'll be good to get it off your chest.  You can tell me!  We're in this together against Tendo!"
	<Spill it!> she thought, getting annoyed with this girl.  <I've got enough trouble dealing with people obsessed with revenge, so just tell me about it so I can get the dirt and leave!>
	Ongyoko shook her head and firmly placed her hands on Ranma-chan's shoulders.  "I appreciate your support, but I just can't let someone like you hear my story!  It would be too much!  I will tell you that it was her actions that led me to study hard at my music, trying to combine what I love with a method of exacting revenge against my hated foe.  My sensei was diligent and instructed me long in the ways of Tae Kwon Do Rei Me, the use of martial arts and musical instruments.  The two blended together into an art both beautiful and strong, like Beethoven's 9th.  With this, and my band of loyal band members, I shall finally get the revenge I have so long sought for my shame!"
	"But-" Ranma tried once again.
	"No, I can not!  Please understand that I do this only to protect your gentle nature.  I could not bear to cause you anymore pain then what Tendo has already done to you.  Trust me on this, it is too much for you!  I want you stable, I need you strong!"  The band slipped into 'I am a rock, I am an island.'
	Ranma buried her face behind one of her hands.  <I was hoping for something I could bug Akane about, but if this chick isn't going to spill the beans I guess I should just cut my losses.> 
 	She sighed, "Look, I grant you Akane's an annoyance, but-"
	"Yes!" Ongyoko shouted.  "You agree with me!  Something must do done to this soul who has no care or concern for those around her!  I'm so happy to find one who shares my vision, my quest!"  The band struck up a happy tune.  "Together we will teach this Akane a lesson she won't soon forget!"
	"Now wait a minute-"
	"Don't worry!" Ongyoko cut her off.  "I have spied on Akane for the past few days and know all about her, including her boyfriend!"
	"Boyfriend!"  Ranma-chan shouted, annoyed.
	"Yes, a weakness we can attack at our leisure!  The agony I have experienced I gladly will pay back to her!  I will talk to you soon on how we might combine our skills to bring ruin down upon her!  For now though, I bid you farewell!"
	Ongyoko turned and led her band away, the sounds of 'Hey, hey, hey, good-bye' on the wind.
	Ranma-chan was left standing alone, somewhat stunned, and watched the group move out of sight.  A small breeze blew up, causing her pig-tail to flutter slightly.
	After a long moment, she finally found her voice.  "...oh man...like things weren't bad enough around here already."

 [continued Chapter 3]

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Author's Notes:

	
	You've no doubt noticed the overwhelming use of music Ongyoko uses.  This is my own way of parodying the number of fan-fics in which the author introduces a scene by suggesting a musical score that he/she feels is appropriate.  I for one find these a little annoying.  This is written media after all, and some of the songs they suggest I'd don't know or involve musical genre I don't pay attention to.  My biggest problem with music in the fics is that three sentences later I'm generally too busy reading the story to remember what song was suggested, which sort of defeats its purpose.
	In this I'm making fun of scene music that by having Ongyoko use her music more to punctuate her sentences and set up bad jokes then define mood.  In addition, her habit of jumping from song to song is something that usually ticks most people off in real life.  
	With regards to her name: Bofu (family name) Ongyoko (personal name).  I doubt if it is a real girl's name, but there is some humour in it.  Ongyoko is a feminized version of ongyoku, which is Japanese for 'musical performance.'  (Names in Japanese are often converted to female by the addition of -ko (child) to the end of names. i.e.: Keiko.  In this case just convert the -ku to -ko.)  However, depending on how it's spelled in the rather complex Japanese writing systems (which I'm NOT going to try and explain here), 'on' can mean 'revenge,' and 'gyoko' can mean 'working at.'  Thus, when feminizing 'musical performance,' she got 'working at revenge.'  It's not brilliant, but it is a joke.
	The school where Ongyoko's band is from; Henheri High, translates as 'Weird Periphery' School.  Or, more loosely, 'lunatic fringe' school.
	Tae Kwon Do Rei Me is a martial arts style I originally created in my Ranma .05 lemon series.  (Vol 2, Part 1 if I remember correctly.)  It was intended to be a one shot joke, but I like it so much I decided to keep it and use it here.  For those who have read .05: Ranma may have learned the techniques there, but in 1/100th, only Ongyoko knows Tae Kwon Do Rei Me.
	Darken (for those who joined this series already in progress) was introduced in Ranma 1/100th Vol 1.  He's a kami based on the type that appear in the Oh My Goddess! manga and anime.  As a character, he's unlucky, somewhat of a goof, and will find new ways to blunder that mortal minds simply can not comprehend.
	People seem to like him...I have no idea why. ^_^  (By the way, any similarity between Darken and the author of this series is merely the result of me having far too much time on my hands.)
	The long, detailed explanation Darken gives for how the Nyannichuan curse works shouldn't be taken too seriously.  While I am a genetics major and everything Darken said is somewhat approaching truth, it is a gross simplification of the processes involved.  The pure purpose was to have a horrible Star Trek-like techno-babble scene.
	Input and constructive advice is welcomed, even flames if justified via my own stupidity.  As well, if you have any idea as to what exactly techniques could be used in Tae Kwon Do Rei Me, please E-mail me!
	In closing, I'M NOT LEE (GREY WOLF) GINTHER, I'M DARREN DEMAINE!  I'm just using wolf-chan's address as he has easy access and I don't.  I can be reached at [greywolf@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca]

MZ: End chapter 2 (1-100th Vol. 2)