Date: Mon, 3 Jun 1996 14:13:12 -0700
   From: terrin@netcom.com (Isabel Arantes)

	   What a yucky title. well, what'd you'd expect when you thought
   of it in two seconds? ;) the story that follows isn't that much better
   anyway, so I might as well keep the title (gee, isn't my faith in myself
   astounding?)

Hmm; the story is a very good beginning (and to turn around a favorite
saying of mine: "Your lack of faith is touching, but utterly
misplaced" :-), but you're right, the title is not optimal.

It's got the right emotional intensity, but "grievance" strikes me as
having the wrong connotation; it's defined in my Oxford American
Dictionary as "a real or fancied cause for complaint", and I'm not
sure you want to focus on the complaint so much as the pain.

	   In a slightly different tone than 'Reality' I've psoted
   here recently (actually, very differnt, but that's besides the point),
   I wrote this. I might give it another couple of chapters, but I don't
   plan on making it a long term project. I have another idea for that
   (which will probably never be written anyway...)

This is worth a few chapters.

	   I'm not really too used in dealing with SM characters, but
   here it is anyway.

And I think you've got the characters down pretty well.  I'm looking
forward to more.

					- Harold