Hmmm...what I thought...liked it, but I don't know what I thought...

On one hand, a very interesting study of Kasumi, and a *fun* take on the 
first Richard Lawson story ("Heart of the Country"?), whether or not 
that was the intent.

At the same time, I think you glazed over some of the more interesting 
parts.  The stuff happening with Nabiki was really an aside and should 
have been written as such, and OS jokes just don't fit in the Ranma 
universe.  You went into the right amount of detail about the Soun 
ickiness (leaving it a somewhat vague hint), and the delay in letting the 
reader knowing what was going on was very cool, but I would have like to 
have seen Kasumi more clearly defined as pathologically driven.  Perhaps 
something more subtle than tape-recorder hypnotism would have worked 
better?  Perhaps more conversations where Kasumi acts stupid but subtly 
influences everybody, to replace the scene where she walks in on 
Genma&Nabiki?  Perhaps have two scenes, one early on and one later in 
the fic, where pretty much the same thing happens, but it can be 
interpeted as really nasty once Soun's ickiness is shown?     

I also thought the prose was a bit clunky...you overuse run-on sentences 
in their conversations, and probably using run-ons outside of 
conversations is a no.  Early example: "Pervert!" Akane cried, as her hand 
sung though...

All of this is IMHO, and I liked the story very much,

Jeff

****jdrutsch@ucdavis.edu***********************Jeff Rutsch************* 
"Ranma's not a boy...he's a girl!"
"Akane is MY fiancee!  You TOUCH her, and I'll KILL you!"
"Ranma, change back into a boy while I buy you some time."
"But if I seem to act unkind/it's only me, it's not my mind."
"Ranma [sic],/give your heart to Akane [sic]. /Soon,/right away."
**^_^*****^_^*****^_^*****^_^*****^_^*****^_^*****^_^*****^_^*****^_^**