Asmodean wrote:

The wolf gave one final howl, this one so full of hate and triumph
that what remained of Nabiki's sanity fled. 

{snip]

and the wolf was gone.

IMHO, it's too fast and too chaotic and hard to read. I would suggest
slowing it way down and describing it in almost minute detail. This
would be more along the lines of a dream where the rotten thing, even if
it happens in just a split second can drag out for eternity. Just a
suggestion, though.

I was under the impression it was meant to be fairly fast and chaotic.
Something like a 'jumble of images' type thing.  Remember, you're looking
into the mind of a (temporarily) insane person.

Yes, in reality it would be fast and chaotic but describing it that way 
doesn't carry the impact I feel the author is looking for. But that's 
just MHO, of course.

Little Windlily

(dragoncritter@overyonder.com)