WARNING! This is stupid. You have been warned. 

 
        "Baka!" Akane screamed, then smashed Ranma with
 a huge hammer. Of course, if she had known what effect it
 would have, she wouldn't have done that. "Ranma!" She
 screeched in despair, when she saw that Ranma was now a
 very dead pancake. She began to cry.
 
        "Hi, Ran-ch-" Ukyou happily when she walked by.
 But then she saw Ranma's new and improved condition,
 "Ran-chan!" The two girls sobbed for half an hour before they
 could do anything else. While Akane was still wailing, Ukyou
 realized who had done this to her *bloved Ran-chan. Eyes
 glowering, she took out her spatula, which were actually
 razors cut out in the shape of a spatula.
 
        "You!" She accused, "You did this to my Ran-chan!"
 Vengeance was all that there was on Ukyou's mind, so that
 she didn't listen to Akane's excuses as to why she had done
 it. Not that it would have helped, Ukyou didn't forgive ignorance.
 "DIE!" Akane didn't have a chance with the experienced
 spatula-thrower; in two seconds flat, her body had tiny spatulas
 all over, and one had stuck her in her heart, killing her instantly.
 
        Unfortunately for Ukyou, Ryoga happened to arrive at
 this moment. "Akane-san!" Being the big stupid beast he was
 even in human form, Ryoga speared Ukyou with his umbrella
 immediately. When he pulled out the umbrella, there was a nice
 big hole in Ukyou. Needless to say, Ukyou was dead.
 
        "Nih...." Shampoo's cheerful 'nihao' was cut in half
 when she looked around at the devastation in the empty lot,
 and then looked at the only left alive human being. Ryoga. Anger
 flashed in her eyes as she pulled out her bonbori, and stuck
 Ryoga on the head. He didn't even noticed that he was dead
 now, he had been to busy mourning over the loss of his true
 love.
 
        Kuno, reciting stupid poems (Which were just big words
 stuck together. Nobody ever noticed) about his Osage-no-onna
 and Tendo Akane, stopped halfway through the word 'marvelous'
 when his eyes set upon Akane, who still had pieces of metal
 protruding from her body. Even an idiot would know that she
 was dead, and naturally assumed Shampoo had done it. He set
 out to kill her, but Shampoo tripped him. As it so happened, he
 fell on top of her, giving the appearance that they were doing
 something completely different than fighting. I don't need to tell
 you what it looked like.
 
        Wouldn't you know it, Mousse-duck happened to by
 flying with his glasses for once, and saw what looked like to
 him Shampoo and Kuno having a very good time. His heart
 break completely for once, and wishing the human hair product
 good luck with her new love, he took out one of his blades
 from under his wing, and stabbed himself in his heart. 
 
        It's a real pity he missed seeing Shampoo shred Kuno
 literally to pieces from having touched her body, because he
 would have realized that Shampoo had utterly no interest in
 Kuno. But that's the way life goes.
 
        Shampoo rose, slightly sad from all the deaths of her
 friends and fiancee. But when she saw Mousse dead too, she
 smiled, picked him up and started to plan her dinner. 
 
 
 
                                        The End
 
 
 
*bloved- This is how one fansubbing company (Arctic, I think)
 spells 'beloved'. 
 
 
Author's Notes:
        Before anyone mentions me being mean to Shampoo, just
 know that I had originally planned on killing Shampoo too
 (by Kuno, who in turns gets killed by Mousse-duck. THEN
 Mousse would commit suicide), but then I realize how much
 more fun it woud be to have it this way.
 
        No, this is not to be taken seriosuly. I had this sudden
 urge to see what'd be like if reality sudednly returned to
 Nerima. Of course, I had Mousse as a duck there, but note
 I never had him return to being a man. It's possible that he
 would have remained as a duck, had he lived. ;)
 
        I wrote this in less than 10 minutes. This is not meant
 to be any good. This was just for the heck of it (they're right,
 you know: writting stuff liek this IS fun!). Don't take this
 seriosuly. I sincerly doubt anyone could love the Ranma
 1/2 chars. more than I do (well, ok, somebody defenitely
 likes Shampoo more than I...)
 
        Bye bye!
 
 
        Isabel Arantes