This is what happens when you see both "Spy Hard" and "Mission:
Impossible" within 20 minutes of each other in one afternoon. ^_^
----
Arc de Triomphe, Paris, France. 2:45AM
Ukyou Kuonji ran towards the Arc de Triomphe, trying desperately
to not lose the bulging, business-size envelope in her arms. The
object inside pushed against the sides of the envelope, tripling it's
width.
Ukyou dashed underneath the massive monument and paused to catch
her breath. She hurriedly scanned the area, looking to see if she'd
lost the person who'd been tailing her...
A figure stepped out of the shadows and grabbed Ukyou from
behind. She flicked her wrist and a small metal spatula slid into her
hand. She drove the blade of the cooking implement into the leg of
her attacker.
"YEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!" the assailent yelled. He relesed his
hold on Ukyou. The young woman shoved his arms out of the way and ran.
Behind her, Ryoga Hibiki cursed and ran in pursuit, tearing off a
number of black and yellow headbands and throwing them at her. Ukyou
dodged the flying pieces of cloth, which embedded themselves in the
sides of nearby buildings.
Ukyou dashed down an alley, a stitch developing in her side. She
had to ditch the package somehow. If the men pursuing her got the
item in the envelope, the consequences could be disasterous. But to
keep it meant certain death. Where? Where?
In a flash, the answer came to her. The question wasn't where, it
was *who*. She made a left coming out of the alley and dashed down
the Rue Morgue. If her memory was correct, it should be right over...
There.
Ukyou fumbled in the pockets of her trenchcoat, looking for a
pen. She found one, scribbled a few lines on the envelope, wrote the
words "Postage Due", omitted a return address, and deposited it in
the mailbox.
That done, she backtracked and went down a different alley. If
this worked, she could get to the embassy, report, and recover the
package. If not, well, she was sure the person she'd sent the package
to would know what to do with it.
The embassy was in sight. She only had to run the few hundred
yards and...
A chain snaked out of nowhere, wrapped around Ukyou's ankle, and
pulled taut. She slammed into the cobblestone street, banging her
chin. She sat up, dazed, as Ryoga stepped from the alley in front of
her.
"Nice work, Mousse," he said to the man who held the other end of
the chain. Ukyou turned her head to see a man with long black hair
and inch thick glasses step from his hiding place. Ryoga knelt down
in front of Ukyou, took her chin in his hand, and smiled, revealing a
pair of fangs that glinted in the light of the nearby streetlamp.
"Where's the box?" he asked sweetly.
"Go to hell," Ukyou snarled. The grin widened.
"You first,"
The last thing Ukyou remembered seeing was Ryoga's foot coming
dangerously close to her face.
Back in the postbox, the package sat innocently. The next
morning, to the consternation of the accounting department of the
French Postal Service, it was mailed to the address on the front. The
address read:
Ranma Saotome
c/o International Export Financiers, Inc.
Tokyo, Japan
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dark Streamline A.D. Viz-ion Image Entertainment Presents...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A "Not-Bloody-Likely" Production...
======================================================================
RANMA 1/2
----------------------------------------------------------------------
OPERATION: UNLIKELY <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
----------------------------------------------------------------------
by Erin Mills
----------------------------------------------------------------------
based on characters created by Rumiko Takahashi
======================================================================
WACEO Japan HQ, Tokyo, Japan. 9:00AM
------------------------------------
There was no such company as International Export Financiers,
Inc. This was because the entire company was a front for WACEO: the
Worldwide Anti-Criminal Espionage Organization.
In her office, Japan Station Director Nabiki Tendo puzzled over
the mysterious package Ukyou Kuonji had sent. Normal WACEO procedure
stated that all important documents or packages were to be sent to
the station director, but Kuonji had subverted that directive and
sent the package to Ranma Saotome.
Which was another question in itself. Kuonji knew where Ranma
lived so why send it to him in care of WACEO? Kuonji was Nabiki's
second best agent, she wouldn't do something like that unless it were
important.
<Or it could mean that she wants me to take Saotome off
suspension. It amazes me that she hasn't given up on him yet.> Nabiki
sighed and pushed a button on her intercom.
"Get me Ranma Saotome..."
The phone rang in Ranma Saotome's apartment. It continued to
ring. The sound traveled down the hallway, past the other phones in
the apartment (which were all disconnected) and into the bedroom. The
figure in the bed rolled over, looked at the clock and groaned.
After a moment, Ranma Saotome's pigtailed head came out from
under the sheets. He got out of bed, walked across the room, punched
a hole through the closet door, grabbed the hired assassin lurking in
there, pounded the assassin's head against the door a few times,
opened the door, removed the now-unconscious assassin, tossed him
through the eighth story window, grabbed a robe, put it on, and
stomped down the hall to the phone.
"Ranma Saotome and this better be good,"
"This is your boss, Ranma-kun," came Nabiki's voice, "You're off
suspension. Think you might grace the office with your prescence
today? Especially since we have a package with your name on it from
Ukyou Kuonji?"
"I thought Ukyou was in Paris,"
"She was. Whether she still is or not has yet to be seen,"
"Gimme an hour,"
"Thirty minutes," Nabiki said sharply, "You're back on WACEO
time, Saotome-kun."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll give you WACEO time..." Ranma muttered, haning
up the phone.
Thirty minutes later, dressed in a blue serge suit, Ranma walked
into Nabiki's office.
"Nice to see you, Saotome, hope I didn't interrupt anything,"
"Can we cut the pleasantries? It's been a long night,"
"Okay, if that's the way you want to play it," Nabiki tossed him
the envelope. "That was in the mail this morning,"
"Did you open it?"
"No,"
"Then how do you know it was from Ukyou?"
"Fingerprints. Standard mail examination check. If you bothered
to attend the staff seminars once in a while, you might learn
something,"
"Cut the crap, Nabiki. You and I both know I'm the best agent
you've got."
"Yes and you're also the agent with the highest disciplinary
record of any WACEO agent ever," Nabik retorted. "Open the package,"
Ranma broke the seal on the envelope and upended it. A small,
metallic object about the size and shape of a Rubik's Cube slid out
of the envelope and into his palm. Ranma and Nabik frowned.
"Anything else?" asked Nabiki.
Ranma looked in the envelope. "Nope, just the cube,"
"Why would she send us a metal cube?"
"I have no idea. But, if she was being chased for--" Ranma
stopped short, eyes wide.
"What?" Nabiki asked. Ranma tossed her the cube.
"Look in the lower left corner," he said.
Nabiki examined the cube face. In the lower left corner, she
found an engraving of a hawk crushing a snake, with a couple of
crossed thunderbolts behind it. Nabiki swallowed.
"This is the logo of Blue Thunder Industries,"
"Exactly. That's why she sent the cube to me via WACEO. She knows
I've never believed he was dead."
"Oh, come on, Ranma," said Nabiki, "just because it has the logo
doesn't mean..."
"Have we recieved any messages from Ukyou in the last 24 hours?"
Ranma asked, his face serious. Nabiki punched a few buttons on her
laptop.
"No. She was supposed to report three hours ago, but she hasn't
done so,"
"He's got her," Nabiki fixed Ranma with a stare.
"Saotome, this obsession of yours--"
"What more proof do you need?! Ukyou's missing, the cube has
BTI's logo, and I'll bet if you check the prisons in New York, you'll
find Mousse and Ryoga are missing. Th evidence is there. KUNO'S
behind this!"
Somewhere in the USA...
-----------------------
Tatewaki Kuno, resplendent in a gray three piece suit, was
speaking to his two lackeys via the speakerphone.
"She didn't have the box?" he asked calmly.
"No, sir," said Mousse, "She was searched thoroughly, but no box.
She must have ditched it somewhere,"
Kuno stood up and looked out the large picture window behind his
desk.
"That box is the most crucial piece of technology BTI has ever
developed. It is also the final component of Weapon L. If that box is
not recovered, not only will we miss our window of opportunity, but I
will hold both of you personally responsible. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir," Ryoga replied. "What would you suggest we do?"
Kuno stood in thought. "What was her name? Ukyou Kuonji?"
"Yes, sir,"
Kuno sat back down at his desk, turned on his computer and
accessed a file marked "WACEO Agents." He scrolled down the list of
names until he found Ukyou's. He accessed her file and smiled at what
he found.
"Leave her alive, for now," he said, "In the meantime, get
Sasuke to guard her and the two of you head for Tokyo. If I'm right,
Miss Kuonji has enlisted help,"
"Help, sir?"
"A very old friend to all of us, Hibiki. I am fairly certain that
Miss Kuonji has done us the favor of brining Ranma Saotome in on the
case. Get going."
"Yes, sir,"
Kuno leaned back in his chair.
<Yes, Saotome, by all means come rescue your former flame. I'm
sure she means at least THAT much to you. And when you do, you will
be the first witness to my greatest triumph!>
Kuno began to laugh. A laugh that grew until the whole building
reverberated with it's sound...
----
Well, what do you guys think. I realize that characterization is
a little sketchy, but all other forms of C&C are accepted.
As I said, this little opus was inspired after watching both "Spy
Hard" and "Mission: Impossible" in one afternoon. Anyway, I was
reminded of someone on this list a couple of months ago who expressed
an interest in seeing Ranma as James Bond. I decided to grant that
wish, especially after I had this image of Kuno as Blofeld.
Insted of doing a surgical insertion of the Ranma cast into the
Bond Universe, I decided to start from scratch and create two new
rival organizations; BTI and WACEO.
Anyway, if you would like me to continue, let me know. This is
basically an "Alternate Universe" story, so Ranma hasn't met Akane
yet (but he will ;) and, yes, later in the story, the Jusenkyo
Springs will come into play. *heh heh*
---Erin 2.5