Date: Sun, 26 May 1996 19:07:49 -0400 (EDT)
   From: "Erik L. Schweitzer" <elschwei@mtu.edu>

   I think you wrapped it up very well.

Agreed.  SPOILERS BELOW; if you read this message before you read part
A of the ending, YOU'LL REGRET IT!


































(I'm going switch to addressing the author.) 

I really liked the foreshadowing in the first part, although I didn't
quite put it together in time.  I was really wondering what was going
to happen to you in this life or the next when some Valkyries looked
you up for portraying them as tarts....

Although you didn't intend it, I also thought something was wrong due
to the great condition Yggdrasil was in after the "Root Rot" had
attacked it; you could put something in the real Heaven part early on
about it being a bit messed up and Skuld's robots working overtime to
finish fixing things.  (And of course it would be beautiful by the
itme our hero comes to at the end).

I also would have expected Belldandy to have removed her limiter and
kicked some serious Demon posterior, but then again I'm a Bell-chan
fan and this is Brett's and Urd's story.

It was truly nice when Nilthar got to the "oh, shit!" part; he was too
clever by half....

A nit: while you don't say this, I got the impression Chia-Yao's
armour was just Kevlar (you ought to capitalize it, since it's a
Dupont trademark); modern body armour plates might include Kevlar in a
composite include ceramic, metal, etc., but Kevlar by itself is a
rather soft fiber/cloth, and asorbs kinetic energy by fiber
deformation.  Chia-Yao would definitely use lots of plates, probably
on top of a chain-mail/Kevlar underlayer (Kevlar by itself is bad at
stopping bladed weapons).

I'd also expect on of the Security Daemons to be carrying a SAW or
the like small belt fed machine gun, or at least a battle rifle and
bayonet; a shotgun might be useful, but pistols in Hell would be ...
too sporting, I'd thing.

Anyway, it was very nice, although the side story was the best of the
lot; well worth the wait.

					- Harold