Someone had to do it >:)

Looks: Two feet tall, long white haired monkey on a stick.  She's
      got those big, round eyes that utterly fail to register 'kawaii'
      and her facial features have been reduced to two big eyes, two
      small breathing holes, and a beak.  Well, at least her long hair
      is still a vibrant shade of silver.
Smarts: Devious, crafty, brilliant.  Infinitely more intelligent
       than her great granddaughter.
Personality: It's her way or the highway.  She IS the queen of the
       amazons, after all, and isn't used to not getting her will done.
Cooking: Probbably great.  She DOES do alot of the cooking for the
        Nekohanten.
Fighting Skills: Dangerous.  Surprising strength and agility along with
        sharp reflexes and superhuman speed.
Special Abilities: MANY forms of ki-blasts, pressure points, and some
        talent with mind alterning chemicals as well.
Competition: Um... well... Happosai, but not really.  He goes after
        every girl anyways, and Cologne seems to be low on his list.
In-Laws: Shampoo.  She shouldn't be much of a problem, since she's
        mostly a pawn of Cologne.  But get on Cologne's bad side and
        you'll have two mighty amazons ready to kill you.
Economics: 1) she's a queen  2) she runs a resteraunt.
        No fabulous wealth here, but a fairly comfy living.
Sex: (Excuse me while I loose my lunch)  She's... ah... experienced,
    (300 years of it!) with Shampoo as proof of her... um... experience.
    If you've got a dwarf or senior citizen fetish, she's your gal.
    And she'll DEFINITELY want to be on top.
Overall: If you're.... um... willing to overlook the negatives...
    she's an interesting possibility.  A queen, an entrepreneur,
    and a master martial artist.  Now good luck trying to overlook
    the domineering persona and prune-on-a-stick like appearance.
-rpm

No... No they didn't... :P
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* Mihoshi@How did I get here? @.@