Well here it is, the long awaited Aftermath...three months in the
making...two programs, three renderings, a 2 second anime, and four other
fanfics later, its finaly done. Um, what can I say, I'm easily
distracted. I think I've got all the thanks and credits in the story
itself, I'm just bored enough to write a stupid intro anyway. I started
this right after I posted Old Friend, and it realy has taken this long to
write. Theres a couple of jokes that are probably past their freshness
date, but hopefully some of you will remember them. Blablabla Yakety
Schmakety, on with the fic...
Matthew Trotter, Hangin' on the corner of 52nd and Broadway
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarcasm opened his eyes, there was someone pounding on his door.
Sitting up, he decided he couldn't even take a nap in peace. It was
probably Fellowship. She had probably completely trashed the probability
continuum. He wondered when she was ever going to grow up. Sarcasm
picked up his jacket from the table, it was probably going to be a long
day. The pounding continued. Pulling on his jacket he decided it
couldn't be Fellowship, she wouldn't pound on anything. No it was
probably Emotion . . . which meant that Fellowship had REALLY screwed up
something. Sarcasm stood in front of the door, it would really be nice
if that was . . . well, there weren't too many people it would be nice to
have pounding on his door.
The door finally opened. Sarcasm was standing there like always, with
that "it figures" look on his face. Just once Emotion wanted him to open
the door, and not be expecting her.
"Come in," Sarcasm motioned her inside, "what did Fellowship screw up
this time?"
She hated that. Every time something went wrong he knew. He could
walk in a room and just know who had done what. It was annoying.
Especially since Fellowship just couldn't get things to work out as
planned. Emotion looked around before answering, if he was going to be
right all the time then he could just try and figure it out on his own.
His room was still as dark and dismal as ever, with the exception of a
bouquet of flowers that seemed to be flourishing in an old boot. That
was how things worked around Sarcasm. Flowers would live forever in a
crappy old combat boot, but if he'd put them in a vase they would
probably have died and blackened. Then again that would have fit in with
the rest of the room.
"Ok, let me guess then. Since yesterday was Akane's birthday Fellowship
probably tried to get her together with Ranma. And it didn't work right."
Emotion scowled at him, "Not really."
"So they are all happy and will be getting along like two friends from
now on?"
She thought about it. Damn. Their situation hadn't really changed.
They had made up, but it just really left them on old ground.
Damndamndamn damn damndamn. She hated it when he was right all the time.
"Oh all right. Let see, Kuno and Nabiki finally got together and are
going to get married, but can't decide on the most romantic time of the
year to do it, right?"
When someone started reading your mind you could feel it, it felt like
your scalp was going out for a walk. However, there was an exception.
Sarcasm. Sarcasm could read your mind and you'd never know he'd done
it. It was really creepy. Worse yet, he could leave a suggestion that
you might never realize wasn't your own idea. Still she was a goddess
and it was high time she started acting . . ..
"STOP READING MY MIND!!!!!"
"Then tell me what's wrong."
"What, didn't you bother to read that while you were in there?"
"I wouldn't do anything but read your surface thoughts, it would be
rude. Besides, I might find out you have a crush on Lucid."
Emotion turned bright red, "you .. . You . . ."
Sarcasm twisted reality around him, it was time to go find out why Doubt
had let Kuno rage out of control.
*********
Kodachi Kuno sat at her lab table rubbing her head. Her brother's
skull was even thicker than she had given him credit for. And Akane
Tendo's uppercut was really solid. Kodachi picked up the ice pack she
had prepared and held it to her jaw again. She'd promised herself she
wasn't going to ever touch the Biochemist's Fun Kit ever again . . . but
how else was she going to get rid of Akane. It was bad enough that Akane
was continually trying to keep her from Ranma. If formula 342 didn't
wear off soon, Akane was going to be more than just another fly in the
ointment. Kodachi looked at the Fun Kit, no, no, she decided to give
Akane a chance . . . why take the risk. She heard a door slam
downstairs, a good sign her brother had finally regained consciousness.
She shifted the ice pack, damn, her jaw still hurt.
Tatewaki trudged up the stairs. His head was pounding and he felt
tired out. The great blue thunder trudged up a few more steps, the thing
that was really bothering him was the bet. It just didn't seem right,
betting on a kiss. There wasn't even the sensation of victory he'd
thought he'd get from besting Nabiki Tendo at her own game. Trudge.
Tatewaki straightened himself, this was his first time to do some serious
mopping and it was already getting stale. Springing up the few remaining
steps, he strode into his room. He let out a sigh, and closed his door.
Trudge. Damn. Tatewaki trudged to his bed and began to undress, his
whole body felt like it had been filled with lead weights. He caught
sight of himself in the mirror. He looked like hell. Trudging over to
the mirror, he stood looking at himself. Strangely, tonight he didn't
see the proud, powerful blue thunder of Furinken high, or even upperclassman
Kuno. Tonight he saw a boy of 17 who looked like he'd been out too late
and should get to bed.
*
[1] And in other news footnotes have called a strike this week. A
spokesman for the footnotes claims that they will return to fanfics
as soon as they are allowed back into the English language. Matthew
Trotter, an extensive abuser of footnotes in fanfics, says negotiations
are underway, but as of yet no common ground has been reached.
*********
Despair looked up as Sarcasm blinked in to existence. A red shoe
materialized out of thin air and hit Sarcasm in the head. Not him.
Despair was already stuck baby sitting, he didn't need Sarcasm bumming
him out. Oh this was really a bad time too. And now Sarcasm was going
to be in a bad mood.
"Despair, where's Doubt?"
"He told me not to tell you."
"And if he told you to jump off a bridge. . . never mind, you'd do
that anyway."
"Oh man, I don't need this. How come I get stuck baby sitting Kuno
while Doubt is off chasing Hatred?"
"Damn, I forgot about that. Have you been in charge of Kuno this
whole time?"
"No, Anger told me to watch him while he went and got Lust."
"Anger, figures that idiot would let Kuno go on a rampage. Oh well,
Lust, huh. I bet that would be a real disaster. Go find Luck and tell
him if he comes and watches Kuno, Fellowship will owe him a favor."
"Why do I get stuck doing everything? Can't you just summon him up?
I was going to kill myself later."
"You know, I think you're right. I guess I'll just have to wander
around and look for him for a few days . . . Well I guess you're pretty
eager to get back to the life and times of blue thunder, so I'll just get
out of your way."
"Oh man this is heavy! Why can't you just say things like everyone else?"
"Oh, ok. Despair, you're a pathetic worm. Get a fuckin' life. Quit
mopping and get a hair cut you damn hippie. Can't you at least find a
convenient time to kill yourself instead of when people need you?"
"Oh thanks. Now I'm really down. You really know how to bum a guy
out, Sarcasm."
"Why thank you, Despair. Its a talent of mine. Now go find Luck or
I'll put you on a real 'bum trip'."
Sarcasm watched Despair trudge off, some people just wanted to be
miserable. Sarcasm briefly considered opening a portal to the mortal
realms, but discarded that in favor of something a bit more surreal. A
little surrealism was sure to catch Kuno's attention. Besides it would
make the fanfic more interesting too.
Emotion looked around the room and then sat down on the bed. It had
taken forever to straighten out Sarcasm's room. The place was a total
dump. He never threw anything away...still it was kind of a surprise to
find all those pictures she had drawn when she was younger....she had
always thought they got thrown away...apparently Sarcasm had saved
them. She straightened the a picture she decided to put on his
table...it was one she had made when she was five...it showed Fellowship
putting a Band-Aid on the earth...She looked at the flowers in the boot, and
once again resisted the urge to put them in a vase. They looked weird
sitting next to the picture...oh well, she decided, it was time to tell
Fellowship that Sarcasm was on the loose again.
*********
Nabiki leaned back in the bath, letting the warm water loosen the
cramped muscles in her body. She could cover the bet with no problem, it
just hurt to lose. It hurt worse that Kuno hadn't even cared whether he
kissed Akane in front of her or not. Kuno was in for revenge, Nabiki
just needed something really good. Maybe if she really rubbed Ranma's
face in it, how he was about the only person who didn't kiss Akane
goodnight? That would be amusing. You could always count on Ranma to
lose his cool when it came to Akane. Nabiki sighed and stood up, it was
time to get to bed. She needed to be up and ready to get Ranma fired up
at Kuno. Come to think of it, if she got Ranma good and hot, Akane would
be sure to get just as mad. Nabiki toweled herself off, and thought about
the best way to get both Akane and Ranma mad at Kuno.
Tatewaki stared at the tired looking boy in the boxers. Could that
really be him? He was about to turn away when a movement behind the boy
caught his attention. There was a man behind him! Tatewaki spun to face
the intruder. . .there was no one there . . . Turning back around he saw
the man was closing on the boy in the mirror, who seemed oblivious. . .
Tatewaki blinked, he knew that man. A pale man all in black, it was the
same man from THAT night. But what was he doing in a mirror? As he
watched the man in black walked right up behind the boy in the mirror,
then without pausing shoved the boy out of his way. Tatewaki watched the
man as he stopped in front of the glassy face of the mirror. The man
looked over his shoulder, took a step back, planted his foot firmly on the
face of the mirror and then leaned into it. The room in the mirror, and
the man himself seemed to rotate on some strange incomprehensible axis.
Tatewaki shook his head to clear the strange other worldly thoughts that
seemed about to seep in and tip him over sanity's edge.
The scene in the mirror had changed, the room was no longer his, it
appeared to be a girl's room. There was nothing of exceptional about it
. . . except there was a picture of him on the desk on the far side of
the room. It wasn't even a good picture . . . It showed him unconscious
in the infirmary. ! This must be Akane's room! To think that she would
have a picture of him . . . rather suddenly rational thought caught up to
Tatewaki as he realized that if this was Akane's room, sooner or later
she would come in and . . . and . . . but no that was wrong! How could
he let himself spy on his love when . . . but how could he look away?!
Something else on the desk caught his attention, it was a rose. He
recognized it. Tatewaki didn't know how he knew, but it seemed plainly
obvious. The last time he'd seen the rose was on THAT night, when the
man in black had given it to him. The odd thing was it looked faded.
Not wilted, but like it had been washed too many times. But if that was
the same rose, then this was Nabiki's room.
The door opened. Tatewaki almost jumped out of his shorts in
surprise. How could he hear the door? In through the door came Nabiki.
She wore only a towel. Her damp hair hung limply, giving her a bit of a
ragamuffin look. Tatewaki stood transfixed. He knew he should look
away. He wanted to look away. He didn't want to think of Nabiki in this
way. She . . . she was . . . . a friend . . . almost . . . he shook his
head, he wasn't sure what she was any more, but not a body. Not someone
to ogle. He felt like someone was holding his head in place and making
him watch.
Nabiki shut the door and went to the desk. As he watched, she picked
up his picture and sighed.
"Kuno, why did you have to be such a jerk today?"
She put the picture back down and faced the mirror.
"God Nabiki, you've really got it bad. How could you let him get to
you like this? If you let yourself get involved with that idiot you'll
only get hurt. That and you'll lose a great source of income."
Tatewaki wanted to try to take offense at what Nabiki was saying. It
sounded like it should offend him. He felt even heavier. She wasn't
even convincing herself. It was sad to see. It was even worse since it
had finally come to him what was bothering him all night. It wasn't the
bet, it was the despairing look on Nabiki's face after he had kissed
Akane.
Nabiki looked closely at the mirror, and Tatewaki suddenly felt
self-conscious.
"Kuno, I'm even seeing you in my mirror . . ."
She looked at the ground, when she looked up there were tears in her
eyes.
"You broke my heart tonight. Are you happy now?!"
She rested her head on the face of the mirror and he heard her
whisper his name again. Tatewaki Kuno discovered what other people meant
by heartache. It was his first time, and he didn't know what to do. It
felt like his heart was swelling up in his chest, he could barley
breath and his eyes felt like they were burning. She moved away from the
mirror. He knew why the scene was blurring, but he wasn't ready to admit
it to himself yet. She began turning down the sheets on the bed. From
under the pillow she pulled a pair of sweat pants and a large shirt. He
could barely make out what was going on now, but he knew what would come
next and was glad . . . for . . . for . . . for the tears. She was too
far away from the mirror to be anything but a blur . . . he could barely
tell she had dropped the towel . . . she was just a motion blur in the
background of the room now ... he just prayed that she would get dressed
before looking in the mirror again . . .
Nabiki stood before him, looking in to the mirror. Thankfully she was
dressed in her "pajamas". She stood wiping at her eyes.
"Well, Kuno, I have to go to bed now . . . goodnight."
She put her hand on the mirror and went up on her toes to kiss his
image goodnight. She then turned around and went to turn out the
lights. Tatewaki wiped his eyes when the lights went out. As he did,
the boy returned to the mirror. The boy looked even worse for wear now,
and the man in black was standing behind him with on hand on the boys
head. Tatewaki wondered what this all meant. The man in the mirror held
the boy's head straight. Tatewaki wondered if the man in the mirror
wanted him to do something. The man stared back out at him, and then let
go of the boys head. Tatewaki waited for the man to say something...to
give a purpose to the vision. The man just shook his head and faded from
sight. When he turned away, the not-so-fearsome-today-thank-you-very-much
blue thunder of Furinken high felt his neck pop about eight times. Tatewaki
went to bed, tomorrow was going to be a very hard day.
*********
Behind Schedule Productions
brings you
(dramatic pause)
*********
Akane was just starting to feel a little tired as she rounded the
corner and headed to the dojo. She chastised herself for jogging farther
than normal today. She'd been too caught up in her thoughts. Thoughts
about last night, about Ranma. She really wished he would have kissed her
goodnight. Uh, but . . only ,uh, because it would have made HIM feel
better. Still he had hugged her, and that had really felt good. He was
so strong, she could . . . er . . . she needed to get back. Today was a
half day. It was in protest to some kind of footnote walk out or
something in America. Maybe Ranma would take her to a movie . . . then
again, after the last disaster, maybe not.
*********
Original character designs
Rumiko Takahashi
& Mr. Bartlette
Not so original character designs
Matthew Trotter
& Mr. Bartlette
Original humor
Pratchett and Python
Directed by
Matthew Trotter
& Mr. Bartlette
Stunts
Mr. Bartlette
The Thrull Rebellion
Bullwinkle J. Mousse
Rocky The Treeborne Aeronautic Rat
Lighting technician
Ma Kettle
& Mr. Bartlette
Sound technician
Granny Weatherwax
& Mr. Bartlette
Credits Orthoganality
Mr. Bartlette
& NOOP
*********
Kodachi stared at the Biochemist's Fun Kit. She wasn't going to give
in. It was too dangerous to use. Another drop of sweat ran down the
side of her face as she rubbed her palms together to stop them from
itching. She took out formula 342 and looked at it. Maybe she could
give it one more chance . .. she could go meet Ranma at school . . . but
. . . Akane would be there . . . uhg! Kodachi put formula 342 back on
her dresser with new resolve. Still she needed something to get rid of
Akane and that annoying Sanzenin person. Maybe a little experimentation
wouldn't hurt. . . .especially if she remembered to take make an antidote.
*********
A
Matthew Trotter
Fanfic
Aftermath
*********
The Saotome's were out bouncing around the yard as par the course,
Akane was standing in her jogging outfit watching. Nabiki almost smiled,
Akane probably didn't even realize how she looked standing there staring
at Ranma. Nabiki stretched and sat down at the table to wait for Kasumi
to bring out breakfast. She looked over at the news paper that Daddy
was reading . . . the front page story was about how gangs were on the up
rise in Nerima. Just last night there had been another incident
involving a gang attacking a bunch of students from Furinken high
school. Apparently these students, who were meeting in the park as a part
of some class project, were attacked without provocation and then left
for dead. These students had told the police that the ringleaders of
this gang were a maniac wielding a bokken, a gymnast, a blue haired biker,
and a cross dressing pervert named Saitoom. There was even a picture.
Nabiki couldn't stop laughing. If Ranma had stared in "Fist Of The
Northstar" it might have been a picture of him.
"What's so funny, Nabiki?"
She couldn't even answer Akane she was laughing so hard, all she could
do was point. She could see Akane reading, it took Akane a second to get
it, but then she started laughing her head off too. They sat there
laughing, it was the first time in along time. Everyone was looking at
them like they were insane, but that was ok.
Ranma sat down next to Akane, she was still laughing. It was probably
something about him. Nabiki had started it, so it was probably something
really embarrassing.
"Hey you made the front page today, Saitoom, you ringleader, you"
Ranma watched Nabiki walk around the table to sit by Kasumi as Akane
burst out laughing again, "What are you talking about Nabiki?"
"You and your gang made the front page of the news paper today."
Soun closed the paper and examined the front page again. He didn't
like to read the front page, it was too depressing. He usually skipped to
the horoscope and the funnies. On the front page was an article about
gang violence and a over drawn picture of Ranma. The gang leader Saitoom,
said the caption. ????!?
"Ranma! Explain yourself! What is this?" he asked slapping the paper.
Ranma leaned forward to see what he was being accused of this time,
but before he could read much his father grabbed the paper away. As he
watched his father's eyes widened. His father started shaking the paper.
That wasn't a good sign.
"Good lord, Tendo! Do you realize what this means?! Bamboo prices
will skyrocket!"
"What?! Let me see that!"
Ranma put his chin on his fist. This might take a while.
"You're right Saotome! This is a disaster!"
"What are you two talking about," yelled Akane grabbing the paper.
Ranma watched Akane scan the page and tried to decide if it was safe
to look over her shoulder. Looking at the other people around the table,
he decided not to. It was begging for the comment, "Aren't they just the
perfect couple." Ranma had heard enough of that phrase to last a
lifetime. He didn't want to hear it again until after the wedding . . .
er IF they were, uh ever FORCED to . . . get uh married.
"Dad! How could you think of our problems? This is horrible!"
"But Akane, Bamboo prices are so high. And we do have a freeloading
panda living here."
Nabiki held out her hand, "Ok, let me see it."
Akane passed the paper over to Nabiki. Ranma watched Nabiki read the
paper, this was really starting to wear thin.
"Daddy, the train wreck was in America. That won't affect prices in
Japan."
Soun turned to Genma, "Saotome, how could you have missed that?"
"I only read the first sentence, Tendo."
Ranma decided to go to school, he'd had more than enough of 'family
read the paper day'. Whatever everyone was talking about would wait.
*********
All I know is its
four 'o clock and
she ain't ever showed
up and I've watched a
thousand people go home
from work
-RANCID
*********
He ran on, his breath ragged in his throat. He didn't dare risk a
look over his shoulder, he could hear them behind him. They were mad as
hell today. Hikaro Gosenkugi wished that he could find some real magic.
Not to win Akane...well, not right now, just something to make him faster.
He didn't know how they found him, he'd even taken a different route.
They just didn't understand, he really didn't have any money. Today was
a halfday, they got out before lunch.
Hikaro ducked around a corner, not believing he'd lose them, but it
was worth a try. Unfortunately, he tripped over a garbage can and went
sprawling. When he looked up they were all around him. His butt was
kicked for sure. He curled up to try and avoid the worst of it.
He was sweeping the front walk. It never ceased to amaze him how
these simple little tasks could make him feel so peaceful. Tofu was in
the clinic working with a long time patient, so it was his turn to
sweep. Morphine smiled, the change in the weather was bringing in a lot
of people. He knew Tofu would never admit it, but he liked this time of
year. He got to visit with most of his patients, and see how they had
been. Morphine wished he had some of Tofu's endless supply of optimism,
most of the patients were really annoying. Oh well, Morphine decided
sweeping was going to be his job, for a while at least. There was a
crash from outside the clinic wall, like someone knocking over the trash...
"You know its not polite to beat people up in public."
The boys in the masks looked up, there was some guy in a white suit
standing there. He looked slightly annoyed.
"Shove off if you don't wanna get hurt, buddy," boy #1.
The man sighed, "Look, if I can't pick on the defenseless, neither can
you."
"Hey, I think this guys on something," boy #2.
"I say we take him down," boy #3.
"I told you, I'm not supposed to pick on the defenseless."
"WHAT?" boy #1.
"Lets get him!" boy #4
Morphine frowned, he wondered if Tofu would consider this as attacking
innocents? They WERE beating up the boy on the ground. There was
nothing for it, if they insisted on fighting . . . the tentacles would do
as well as anything to stop them. Motioning quickly he set the tentacles
on them. He was glad that he'd been practicing, it took almost no effort
to do...he was really getting back his old power. Now if only there were
some easy way around the blood requirements . . .
Hikaro looked up at the sound of the mans voice. He was all in white,
with ash blond hair. He had a manor about him . . . the way he moved,
and talked . . . he was something more . . . Then it happened! Real
magic! The man motioned, his hands tracing indescribable patterns in the
air. Then tendrils of rock leapt out of every wall. Moving like snakes
or tentacles the bound the "boys" to the walls of the clinic. Hikaro
Gosenkugi stared, this man was a sorcerer! He could teach him! Hikaro
leapt to his feet.
"Teach you magic?" Asked Morphine leading the boy into the clinic,
"No, I don't think I can do that. Magic isn't something you learn, its
something you have. Either you control it or it controls you."
"But . . ."
"No. You don't need magic, its too expensive. You need thousands of
old tomes to pour over, people to experiment on, and time to waste in
endless experimentation. Its not for a kid like you. Get yourself a
computer and learn something useful. Now lets go in the kitchen and
I'll get something for those cuts."
*********
Formula 345 - Turned mouse's hair blue. (Maybe they use this in China?)
Formula 357 - Melted beaker.
Formula 359 - Made mouse hyper.
Formula 366 - Turned mouse to lead.
Formula 367 - Turned lead mouse to gold.
Formula 389 - Made mouse sick.
Formula 395 - Turned female mouse male.
Formula 396 - Mouse exploded. (Getting low on mice, send Sasuke for more.)
Formula 399 - Made mice . . . excited. (Save for Ranma on our honeymoon.)
Formula 400 - Mice seem to sit on opposite sides of the cage and squeak
at each other. (Apparently this is a powerful
repellent. I'll have to try this on Akane.)
*********
Fellowship wasn't sure what had happened. She knew that she was going
to have to straighten out the Nabiki/Kuno thing, but she was putting that
off in favor of working on Akane and Ranma. (Which was a complete
disappointment) Those two seemed to be perfectly willing to be friends
and nothing else. (Normally she wouldn't mind, but these two had to get
married and raise a family. They didn't have time to go around
pretending to hate each other.) Fellowship frowned, today Nabiki And
Kuno were acting different. She had known Nabiki would be out to get
Kuno, but this morning she wasn't. She hadn't plotted or schemed
anything since last night. Apparently she was just going to let it go.
What was even more irritating, was that Kuno was well on his way to a
really good case of depression. He was trying to think of some way to
apologize to Nabiki. Fellowship wished she knew what had caused this.
It couldn't be normal. They had been at each others throats for so long,
it didn't make sense. Why would Nabiki give up on revenge . . .
especially if it would make her a little cash. And Kuno, why would he
care how Nabiki felt. She was just a friend to him right? Why couldn't
Ranma and Akane be this easy?
She noticed Emotion coming into the room. Her flaming red hair
looked dull and wilted. Her white T-shirt was all dingy looking, even
her shoes looked dull. And her eyes had that downcast "I need a nap"
look. She had probably told Sarcasm about the disaster with Nabiki and
Kuno, then she probably cleaned up his room. She was such a nice and
caring little sister. Fellowship couldn't understand why Sarcasm
didn't appreciate her more. She never "screwed up" (his word not hers)
the reality continuum.
"You look tired Emotion, why don't you take a nap?"
"Sarcasm is doing something. I don't know what, but I told him about..."
"I see. Well don't worry about it. I won't let him ruin any of the
work I've done."
Emotion stared at her sister. Work? Poor Fellowship, she couldn't
even lie to save her life. Her yellow sun dress was all wrinkled from
where she had been clutching at it and wringing it in her hands
nervously. She looked exhausted, even the big floppy bow in her hair was
drooping. Emotion decided to go take a short nap, and then come back to
put Fellowship to bed. She would be asleep in another thirty minutes
whether she wanted to be or not.
"Fellowship, are you going to go to bed?"
"Um, no. I need to fix one or two more probabilities."
"Ok, I'll <yawn> see you."
Fellowship watched Emotion leave, and felt a wave of tiredness sweep
over her. Sarcasm. What might he try to do? Maybe that's why her
massage idea didn't work. Maybe he was already undoing what she was
working so hard at. Then again maybe that's why Nabiki and Kuno were
acting different? Fellowship yawned. She wished Sarcasm would work in
here at the table where she could keep an eye on him.
*
[1] Toady's top story is the footnote negotiations. The author and the
footnotes seem to be reaching an agreement. A spokesman for the
footnotes says he expects to have them back in fanfics by the end of
this story. The author told us, that he planned on a full return as
soon as he could think of anything funny to put in footnotes. In
other news youth violence seems to be on the up swing in the Nerima
district of Tokyo . . .
*********
Tatewaki tucked the box under his arm as he walked. He had gone over
the idea in his mind hundreds of times. This was the only thing that
might be acceptable. Almost anything else she would reject flat out, but
this . . . this might catch her attention. Nabiki could be
unpredictable. He would have to be careful. He went over the speech in
his head again, [Nabiki Tendo, I would speak with you after school.
Please meet me at the Acme Delicatessen on Generic street and Brand
Avenue.]
Today "The Blue Thunder" felt even less boisterous and confident than
he ever had before. He felt like a boy with a stick and a box of
chocolates. The way his heart was pounding it might have been the first
time he had ever given a girl chocolates . . . Tatewaki tried to pull
himself together, it had been like this all morning. Every time he
thought he had himself under control he would begin to wonder what he
would do if Nabiki just told him off. . .
Akane finally caught up to him half way to school. It sounded like she
had run the whole way. Which meant she had probably stayed behind to make
fun of him some more.
"Oh come on Ranma, slow down."
"Why? Didja run all this way so you could make fun of me some more?"
"Ranma! There was an article in the paper . . "
"About Bamboo? What was so funny about that?"
"Oh forget it. If your going to be like that, then you can find out on
your own."
"You're such a tomboy."
"Well you're a pervert!"
"You sound more like a tomboy when you yell."
"Come here you jerk!"
She couldn't believe Ranma was starting this up today. After she had
run all this way to . . . uh . . . to . . . uh tell him what the paper
said. That jerk. She had hoped it would be a nice day, and she could
make him lunch when they got home . . . <oof>
Ranma had just stopped running in the middle of the school yard. She
took a step back and almost hit him before she realized what had drawn
his attention. Kuno. He was standing beneath a tree. He looked
different today. Calmer, maybe even a little more handsome. It was
definitely the calm. Just looking at him, you could see it. It was
scary. It was the calm before the storm kind of calm. Akane realized
that today, for possibly the first time, Kuno looked dangerous. He
looked like a no win fight. She felt her chest tighten, there was
something irresistible about that look . . . it was how Ranma looked when
he had to fight for her . . . it was one of the things she love . . . she
admired him for.
Ranma walked up to Kuno with a growing feeling of apprehension, there
was something dangerous about Kuno today. He didn't even seem to notice
as Ranma approached, it was unnerving.
"Kuno."
Ranma watched as Kuno's eyes slowly turned toward him, "Ranma.
Saotome. The proper address to my station is: Upperclassman."
You could hear the punctuation, it was creepy. "Uh, whatever, what do
you want?"
"You have engaged me in a dialog to determine my desires in this
life? I doubt it. I want nothing to do with you."
Ranma had always thought Kuno's upper crust speech was supposed to make him
seem noble, but today he got the feeling that Kuno was using it to insult
him. What could he say back that wouldn't sound like a childish taunt?
Kuno had effectively dismissed him! Akane saved him.
"Ranma, come on we'll be late."
Gosenkugi ran by her with some big heavy looking book. That was
weird, no one was chasing him . . . a first. As she walked around the
wall of the school, Nabiki noticed Ranma and Akane walking away from
Kuno. Good, this was going to be embarrassing enough without those two
wanting to know what was going on. She took out the envelope, it was
heavy with the yen in it. The feel of it made her mad, fifty thousand
yen on a sure thing . . . and she'd lost. To Kuno! Nabiki tried to calm
herself, she had to try and remain cool and collected. If she didn't
everyone would laugh at her, and she'd lose her reputation as a business
woman. If she lost the rep, then her greatest source of income was
gone. Without that income she would have to depend on her father for
collage money, yeah right. She let out a breath and started toward
Kuno. He was holding a box in one hand and watching her. He seemed cool
to the point of seeming almost unearthly.
"Hello, Nabiki Tendo, I hope the morning finds you well."
He sounded detached, like this might all be beneath him, "Good morning,
Upperclassman. Here's your money." The envelope hit him in the face and
dropped onto the lid of the box. The box looked like it would flip over
and fall, but Kuno made a quick hand movement and the box and the envelope
balanced. It was really trite of her, but Nabiki was glad to see that
Kuno looked a bit shocked.
"Nabiki . . ."
She knew he would ramble if she let him, so she didn't. She spun on
her heel and strode away. She heard him call after her, but this had to
be short. If she let it go on, Nabiki knew she'd get mad and embarrass
herself.
Tatewaki watched Nabiki as she rushed into the school, he wished there
was something he could say. Not that she was listening. . . He wished
that the voice in his head would speak up, he could have used the
company. The voice was silent. Very well, she had a right to be angry,
but that would not dissuade Tatewaki Kuno from his apology. That decided,
Tatewaki straightened and headed to class.
*********
Kodachi yawned and leaned back in her chair. She decided that she'd
done enough work with the Biochemists Fun Kit. If she didn't get some
sleep soon she was going fall asleep in classes tomorrow, and if she
hoped to win her Ranma's heart she was going to have to show that she...
9:56? 9:56?!?!?!?! She was already late!!!! Kodachi leapt to her feet
and dashed out of her room, she had to get to school! She paused with
her hand on the front door, then tearing off the robe rushed, half naked,
back to her room.
"Kodachi Kuno! What is your excuse for this tardiness?"
The adrenaline rush that had got her to school had died off while she
was waiting outside the principles office. She had fallen asleep
waiting, that only made things worse.
"Snap out of it Miss Kuno!"
Kodachi blinked and looked around, "I'm sorry. I was up all night."
"That is your excuse?"
"I din meen to . . ."
"What? Miss Kuno! Miss Kuno. Miss Kuno?"
"mif mhnnn," mumbled Kodachi collapsing on the carpet.
*********
Sarcasm yawned, well Kuno could look after himself for a few hours.
He wouldn't have time to talk to Nabiki until just before their math
class, now was a good time to finish that nap before things got wicked.
Despair still hadn't shown up with Luck, he probably went and moped
instead. Sarcasm walked slowly to his room, things were going to be hard
to sort out, just pulling things back to status quo would be a miracle.
He yawned again, he supposed now was the time to carefully guide the
destinies of mortals . . . oh well, it would wait for his nap...mortals
had a knack for guiding themselves pretty well anyway.
Fellowship rolled over and pulled the covers back up to her chin. It
was days like today that made getting up so hard. All those problems
with Ranma and Akane, not to mention that disaster with Nabiki and Kuno . . .
she wondered why she bothered. Maybe she should just let them go to
pieces. Maybe she would .. . . wait a minute . . . how did she get back
in bed?!
Emotion looked up from the table as Fellowship came rushing in. She
looked rumpled, like she had just jumped out of bed . . . but she did
look more alert.
"Emotion, did you put me to bed?"
Emotion felt guilty, Fellowship's accusing tone could do that, "Well
yes, a little bit."
"A little bit?"
"You were already asleep . . ."
"I was trying to keep an eye on Akane and Ranma!"
"They're ok, they're just in class."
Fellowship peered at the table, "Your sure?"
"They're doing fine."
"Well all right. Now if only I can get those two back on track we'll
be doing ok. Have you seen Sarcasm?"
"No . . . was he supposed to come in?"
"Well, its just that I haven't seen him all day . . ."
Emotion frowned, where would Sarcasm have gone? He by all rights
should have come in here to rub Fellowship's face in it, he always did
that. And even if he didn't, this was where the table was . . . he
couldn't do more than just talk to Kuno in his mind with out the table ...
well he could, but it would be really hard. Still Kuno and Nabiki seemed
to be headed back in the right direction, what was Sarcasm up to?
"I know!" Exclaimed Fellowship snapping her fingers.
"What?!"
"Since Ranma is asleep, I'll make him dream about Akane. That will
make him want to be nice to her when he wakes up."
*********
Tatewaki stared at the notes before him. They were sparse, he was
having a terrible time concentrating. Now Saotome had to start . . .
start, talking(?) in his sleep. It was bad enough that he slept in
class, but now he had to start talking. Tatewaki wanted to scream, this
just wasn't the time for Ranma to start. He needed to stay rational so
he wouldn't annoy Nabiki . . .
Nabiki blinked, this was too good to be true. Could Ranma really be
talking in his sleep? Even Miss Hinako was staring at him. The look on
Akane's face was classic. Ranma wasn't going to make it through the day
if he kept on talking. It just kept getting better, Ranma would get
quiet for a little while, and then right as Miss Hinako tried to get back
into the lecture he'd start up again. It was too hilarious, she wondered
how Kuno could be taking this. It was a miracle that he wasn't up and
yelling . . .
Akane was ready to kill Ranma. He fell asleep in class all the time,
but this was the first time he'd ever talked in his sleep. It was even
worse that almost the only understandable word he said was her name. It
was humiliating. Especially since it seemed he would only do it when
everybody quieted down to listen to the lecture. She knew that Nabiki
was going to be giving her hell when they got home . . .
". . . uhhhh no No Akane I don't want to . . . no you can't make me .
. . "
Akane didn't even realized she had stood up until she brought the desk
down on Ranma's head. Blushing a little, she just stood there not knowing
what to do. Her desk was broken (and so was Ranma, she hoped), there was
nowhere to go sit. . .
"Owwwwww . . . what . . . Akane? Hey What didja do that for?"
"Ranma you pervert! You . . ."
"Miss Tendo! Mr. Saitoom! Go stand in the hall."
Akane felt the blush return, "Yes, Miss Hinako."
"And be QUIET!"
"Saitoom?"
*********
Dr. Tofu found Morphine in the kitchen. He was listening to one of
THOSE tapes. Tofu didn't really approve of them, they were too angry,
but Morphine seemed content when he listened to them . . . Tofu watched
for a bit . . . Morphine was dicing some ingredients for one of his
"blood" potions . . . Tofu wasn't to sure he liked those either, they
sounded dangerous. Creating a potion to make your body over produce
blood cells when you were in need was one thing, but to power your magic
. . . it rubbed him the wrong way. Something about the way Morphine was
dicing the vegetables was bothering him too . . . he just couldn't put
his finger on it. He had watched this before . . . it was like watching
a blender . . . Morphine had told him that evil sorcerers got plenty of
practice with knives . . . it was the way he seemed to be almost flaying
the vegetables, that was what it had to be. It was interesting that some
one could make dicing vegetables seem so . . . well cruel . . . Still,
Tofu decided, he'd come in here with a purpose. . .
"Morphine."
"What?"
He sounded angry, that was a bad sign, "What have I told you about
picking on the weak?"
Morphine appeared to consider this, "Oh, that." He made a dismissive
gesture, "I should have let them kick his ass . . . damn punk."
The boys tumbled to the ground. Looking around and finding the
tentacles of stone temporarily gone, did the only sane thing and ran for
it. They would later, by unanimous unspoken consent, decide to never,
ever, ever, go near the clinic again. Which was too bad, because Dr.
Tofu made it plain to Morphine that he was not allowed to pick on people
just because they thought they could beat him up.
"What?"
"That damn punk kid they were beating up . . . "
Dr. Tofu decided he needed to get Morphine out of the kitchen where
they could talk like normal. Morphine was just way to intense to be left
alone with a knife right now . . .
"Morphine."
"What?"
"Why don't you put the potion aside for a minute and just talk to me."
Morphine looked at him side long, and then went back to torturing the
vegetables.
If he let Tofu talk to him, he knew he'd just end up letting things
be, and that wasn't fair. Here he was trying to be nice to the kid, and
voom, the little bastard . . . Tofu turned off the radio. . . . great, he
seemed to be out to peruse this. Morphine sped up his cutting. Tofu
could wreck a fit of anger in a heart beat, Morphine could tell this was
going to be one of those times. Tofu put his hand on the cutting board.
Morphine sighed . . . he might as well give up. Spinning the knife
through a couple of more revolutions, he stuck it into the cutting board
next to Tofu's hand.
"All right, you win."
Tofu smiled, he wasn't even worried. The man had the kind personality
that just trusted anyone . . . and interestingly, it made you want to
live up to it.
"This morning, when I was sweeping, those boys were beating up some
kid. He was just laying there on the ground curled up taking it. I told
them to quit. They attacked me, so it was self-defense."
Tofu sighed. He wasn't going to let it go at that, he had to
completely ruin the mood . . . oh well, maybe I need to cheer up, thought
Morphine . . .
"Well then the kid wanted me to train him, and me being the reformed
sorcerer, I had to say no. Anyway, I brought him in to get him cleaned
up and while my back was turned he stole my book."
"THAT book?"
"Its the only one I have."
"Well . . . do you think its dangerous?"
"That depends . . . I think that if he reads through it, he'll spend a
while on the trivial things. It might take him twenty or thirty years to
master the trivialities and move on to the really good stuff..."
"Well I think you can stop worrying, I doubt he'll stick with it that
long."
"I wasn't worried about him. I want my damn book back!"
"Don't curse. I think you'll . . ."
"Besides, even trivial stuff can be dangerous. If he were to summon a
servant and sic it on someone, it could be fatal."
"A servant?"
Morphine ran through the motions to the summoning ritual and put a
little power into it . . . since he didn't have honey, raw meat, blood or
a child's finger . . . He felt the servant arrive . . . [go announce
yourself to Tofu]
Tofu watched Morphine gesture, it was a complex motion that some
how defied logic . . . then he felt a cold breeze. A voice like a dank
wind spoke in his ear . . .
"Domunsh sssaaweeeshhhssh nnawg oohsh."
"What? Morphine what . . ."
Tofu felt something grip his shoulder, it almost felt like a human
hand .. .almost . . . the only words to describe the feeling were
decrepit . . .
"That is a servant."
"But what is it?"
"Its the soul of one of the damned."
"Oh no! How quickly can he learn to conjure them?"
"Probably only take a year or two . . . unless fate were to intervene..."
Dr. Tofu looked relieved, "Well then I doubt he'll stick to it for a
year. I think things will be just fine."
"He still has my book."
Tofu looked at his shoulder.
"Opps, sorry. . . Mh'wfath Hou'ht G'whaghan, B'hanghalha."
The "hand" disappeared and the room felt warmer, Tofu smiled, "Well why
don't we close up early and go out somewhere nice for dinner."
"Like where? Maybe the Tendo's? I bet Kasumi would LOVE to have you
for dinner."
"Kasumi . . ."
It was all he managed to get out before a vision of Kasumi filled his
head. In the vision, she was in a sun dress, she looked like she had
been out for a walk. She was smiling. It was the most beautiful thing
in the world. He could die a happy man if Kasumi smiled at him before he
died. She was so perfect, and nice and beautiful and happy and . . .
*********
"I can't believe you got us kicked out of class. You are such a moron."
"Why is it my fault? Your the one who hit me with a desk you tomboy."
"Your the one who was MOANING my name in his sleep, you pervert."
"I was not!"
"Yes you were! And everyone was watching us, it was embracing."
"I was? Really?"
"Yes. So what were you dreaming anyway?"
"Uh . . . I . . .uh . . ."
"Uhg! You pervert! You make me sick!"
"HEY! Its not like that! Why would I have THAT kind of dream about
an uncute, mocho, tomboy like you?"
"Then what were you dreaming about Ranma?"
"Its embarrassing."
"Oh?"
Ranma leaned close to her ear and whispered, "i, i dreamed that you..."
"I what, Ranma?"
"you were. .."
"I was?"
"cooking"
"RANMA!!!! DIE!!!"
Nabiki shook her head, Ranma and Akane couldn't even be quiet for ten
minutes till class ended. Those two were never going to make it. They'd
kill each other first. She listened to them a little more . . . she
wished she had someone she could yell at sometimes. Well maybe not yell
at. Class was over, Miss Hinako didn't stand a snow balls chance of
getting the class back under control in . . . Nabiki looked at her watch
. . . five minutes. She closed her book. Math and then home. She was
looking forward to a nice relaxing bath . . . Someone tapped her on the
shoulder. Kuno.
"What do you want, upperclassman?"
Kuno handed her the box, now that she got a good look she could tell, it
was a box of chocolates. That meant one thing. Kuno wanted something. Oh boy.
"Nabiki Tendo, I wish to apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was
most inappropriate and I do not wish you think ill of me that I was weak
in my chivalrous attitude. As recompense to you for my lack of tact
please allow me to honor you with a meal at the Acme Cafe."
She blinked. That was probably the single longest apology she had
ever heard. Kuno was probably seriously lusting after Akane if he was
being this nice. He probably wanted more pictures . . . normally she'd
accept, free food is free food, but Nabiki doubted that she would be able
to tolerate Kuno today . . . still, she could let him wait on her . . .
"Sure Kuno baby, I tell you what. I want to go home and change after
school, why don't I meet you there."
"Very well, Nabiki, I shall await your arrival."
What a sucker. Nabiki picked up her books and headed to Math class.
At least she'd found a good way to get revenge on Kuno . . . she'd just
tell him something came up . . . he'd probably buy that if he wanted
those pictures of Akane badly enough.
Ranma picked himself up off the ground, after Akane stormed off.
Jeez she was a tomboy. How come she always had to assume he was being
perverted? What had he ever done to deserve that? People were starting to
file out of the class room, so Ranma decided he'd better head to Math.
This sucked, why did they have to cancel class after Math, couldn't they
just cancel Math too? He hated Math, it was his worst subject. The only
people who liked Math were Nabiki, and her cult of junior extortionists.
Ranma slouched into class, Akane was already there, she still looked
pissed. Man, it was going to be a long day if he didn't find a way to
get her off his back. And speaking of back, it sure would be nice to
have her rub his back again . . . She could really give a massage . . .
There was a thump of someone's head hitting their desk as he fell
asleep before class even got started. It was a new record for Ranma,
he'd never actually managed to sleep all the way through a class before.
This of course did not go unnoticed, and it was also the first time Ranma
was marked absent while still in class.
Akane could not believe it, class hadn't even started when that idiot
fell asleep. If he started moaning again she was going to kill him. The
day was really turning into a disaster. She had hoped they could have a
normal day . . . well mostly normal. . . and then go home and spend some
time . . . well it wasn't that she wanted to be with him . . . it was
just that . . . since they were engaged . . . it would be nice if they
could get along . . .
*********
The alarm was going off . . . it was weird, it sounded far off . . .
Kodachi rolled over to turn it off and <WHAM> Kodachi sat up blinking.
She was on the floor of the principles office . . .
"Well Miss Kuno, I'm glad to see your awake again. I realize the
night may have been a long one for you," began the principle putting the
newspaper on the desk, "But that is no excuse for tardiness."
She noticed Ranma on the front page of the newspaper. He looked so
strong and rugged . . . oh how she longed to be in his arms again and to
feel his strong sensual kiss[2]. Oh how she longed . . . to . . . wait
a minute . . . UGH! It wasn't Ranma she had kissed . . . Damn, Akane
Tendo was even ruining her fantasies . . .
". . . .furthermore you will bring a note from your father explaining
that you have discussed this with him and . . ."
It was odd, what was Ranma doing on the cover of the paper . . . maybe
he was making a public declaration of his love for her . . . Oh Ranma
could be so bold! Kodachi decided she could wait no longer, she had to
know exactly how Ranma was proposing to her . . . and where he would be
waiting to . . .
" . ..ight. Am I clear on this point Miss Kuno?"
"Principle?"
"Yes Miss Kuno?"
"May I see the paper if you are finished with it?"
The principle fell over.
*
[1] At long last the footnote strike has ended. Footnotes everywhere are
rejoicing and er . . exciting strike breakers? Uh oh . . . .[3]
[2] Kodachi had lots of practice at distorting reality . . . and just
because she WAS remembering Akane's kiss didn't mean she HAD to remember
it that way . . . unfortunately for her the malevolent deity known as
"The Author" thought it would be far more amusing for her to come to her
senses just as she started to get into the fantasy . . .
[3] We the footnotes would like to deny the previous footnote and say
that all strike breakers are just being move to a special fanfic all
their own. Thank you for your attention citizen, four legs good, two
legs better and all that . . .
*********
Tofu took a sip of his tea, "Well, what made you want to be an evil
sorcerer any way?"
Morphine appeared to consider the question, "I don't know. It started
off as something to do . . . later I guess it was just a kick."
Tofu almost fell out of his chair, "A kick?!?!"
"I was bored a lot as a kid. You have to understand what its like
summoning up some powerful demon lord to do your bidding, its a real
feeling of power."
Tofu looked worried, "I guess, but isn't it dangerous?"
"Oh yea, its a field riddled with dangers. If you do a ritual wrong,
the demon lords will break free and kill you. If you act badly the demons
will hate you and pervert your instructions to their benefit . . ."
"You know, I'm beginning to worry for that poor boy . . ."
"You should, I'll kick his ass if I ever see him again . ."
"Don't curse. What if the boy gets killed playing with your book . . ."
"Is it my fault he's an incompetent sorcerer?"
"But .. . "
"All right, all right. I understand, you don't want anybody to get
hurt. I'll throw a couple of spell nets and see if I can't find him
tomorrow. If I do, I'll just go get the book and not beat him up. Ok?"
"I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you, Morphine, but this is a very
important part of being a good person."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah . . .."
"I also wish you would stop playing with the magic . . . I'm worried
that it may cause you some problems later on . . ."
"Is this something your going to keep bugging me about?"
Tofu knew Morphine wouldn't give up magic . . . it was who he was . . .
then again, he might slow down on using it. Still, it wasn't right to
force him to do that. Something's were just right, and Tofu had to be sure
the right thing got done, but magic, that was Morphine's choice.
"No, I guess not."
"Well, what about the soul magic? You can't object to that . . ."
Soul magic he called it. It was how he healed people . . . by
smoothing out the kinks in their souls. It was an interesting method.
Morphine had tried to explain it on more than one occasion . . . it
involved taking their pain until they could deal with it, or something
like that. Tofu wasn't going to argue with soul magic. It didn't have
the same feel as this other . . . for lack of a better term, blood
magic. He had seen Morphine set a broken arm once . . .
The boy had been howling in pain, it was a horrible compound fracture.
He remembered telling Morphine to call an ambulance. Morphine had
reached out and snapped the boys arm strait out. It made Tofu nervous to
remember how mad he'd been, he had almost hit Morphine . . . almost. The
boy just sat there and stared at his arm. There should have been a hole
where the jagged hunk of bone had been sticking out . . . but there
wasn't. The boy should have been screaming his head off, but he wasn't.
Morphine looked pretty bad. His face was as intense as Tofu had ever
seen it, his skin was pale, and he was speaking to the boy in a voice
that was barely a whisper. He was telling the boy he would feel some
pain, and to just say when it hurt too much . . . after a while the boy
got a little paler and whined. Morphine told him to go home and rest.
Apparently Morphine couldn't heal others per say, but he could heal
himself. He said he understood pain, he had studied it. He could use
it, he could deny it, he could steal it. It was then that Tofu really
began to respect Morphine. Until then he was just a person in need of a
friend, and some help . . . Tofu was always glad to be a friend, and to
help out, but after that . . . it was different. Morphine had proved he
was capable of healing, of caring . . . of compassion for its own sake...
"I know your in there, I can hear your brain working . . ."
Tofu blinked, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking."
"I could tell. What was it, Kasumi in a teddy?"
Tofu turned bright red as a vision filled his head, "No! I wasn't.."
"A nighty? Garters? Shoes?"
"Shoes?"
"Shoes are very sexy when you wear them with the right thing."
"Like?"
"Nothing."
The vision that assaulted Tofu was more than enough to put him face
first into the table. Morphine smiled . . . he really shouldn't do that
to Tofu, he wouldn't be able to talk to Kasumi for weeks . . . Morphine
took a deep breath, he hated removing memories. It was one thing he
stunk at, and the backlash was really obnoxious....
...Kasumi stood there,
beaming . . . wearing a pair of elegant glass slippers. And nothing else.
There was, however, a conspicuous black bar that covered her from neck
to knee....
*********
Nabiki leaned back and closed her eyes. The warm water swirled around
her, slowly unknitting the tension in her muscles. As she relaxed she
went over what she needed to do. There was some homework in Math and
Finance, she needed to think up a way to make back the money she had lost
to Kuno, and then there was the question of how best to torture Ranma
about moaning Akane's name out loud in class . . . life was good . . .
Now if only she could stop thinking about Kuno waiting for her to come to
lunch, the day might be perfect . . .
*********
He looked out the window again. It was late. She was late. Tatewaki
Kuno knew she wasn't coming. He might as well go home. There was no
point in waiting any longer. Everyone who had been in the restaurant in
the past three and a half hours knew he'd been stood up. He was sure he
had the dejected, stood up by my girl look. But she wasn't his and she
might just be late. If she was late he couldn't stand her up. He had to
stay. Even if she didn't show. Even if this was her way of getting him
back. Blue Thunder took another sip of his tea and watched the world
pass by the big bay window at the Acme Cafe. Maybe he would leave in
another few minutes . . .
. . . probably not.
"There's a lonely man sitting in a restaurant
He's looking out the window at the world
And he sees it's been passing him by
While he's waiting in there for a girl"
"Why didn't you tell me you were a poet, Morphine?"
"I'm not, I just made that up."
"Don't be modest. You should explore your talents."
"Look out the window."
"Hmmmm . . oh."
"Now that's sad. I know that guy from somewhere. Do you know him?"
"He looks vaguely familiar. . ."
"DAMN!"
"Don't curse. Ranma."
"Five hours!"
"He's a friend of Ranma's."
"We've been in here for five hours."
"What?"
"What?"
"The boy over there."
"Yes . . ."
"I think he's a friend of Ranma's."
"Who do you think he's waiting for?"
"Its not nice to make assumptions about other peoples lives."
"He's been here almost as long as we have."
"She must be very special."
*********
37> Solve for x
2x^2+4x+1=0
Nabiki considered the problem, it looked like . . .
"RANMA!!!! You come back here!"
. . .a quadratic. The
quadratic . . .
"No way am I letting you poison me with that!"
. . . formula was negative B plus or minus the square root of B
squared minus four times A times C over two times A. That would give . . .
"Run, Nabiki, Akane is cooking dinner!"
"I'll let you eat this box of candy for 1500 yen, Ranma."
"Why would I want a box of candy?"
"Because then you would be full at dinner time."
"All right! I'm saved!"
Akane stormed into the room, "Oh I'm so glad for you."
"Uhhhh, here Akane have a chocolate . . ."
Nabiki watched Akane buy into it. She really wanted to believe Ranma
was in love with her, you could tell at times like this. Her eyes were
misty, she looked like she was on the verge of giving Ranma a big juicy
kiss. Nabiki put her hand on her camera, she could blackmail Ranma for
years with a picture of him smooching Akane . . .
"Are . . . are they . ..really for me?"
"Um . ..sh . sh . ..sure. . ."
This was really classic Ranma and Akane. Nabiki knew that Ranma would
have to say something completely unthinking, and that Akane would
misinterpret it. Then there would be the inevitable Ranma beating.
Nabiki was glad Ranma and Akane were here to keep her mind off of Kuno.
"Ranma?"
"What is it Akane?"
"Why is there a note from Kuno in here?"
"I, uh, I, uh . . ."
"Yes, Ranma?"
"Hey, Nabiki, why is there a note from Kuno in these chocolates you
gave me?"
"Ranma you jerk! I thought you got these for me!"
"Wait! Its not <WHAM>"
"Here Nabiki, I don't think Ranma wants anymore chocolate right now."
Nabiki accepted the box from Akane, "We wouldn't want to ruin his
appetite now would we."
Nabiki watched Akane storm out of the room and back into the kitchen,
and then looked at the note. All it said was "I'm sorry" with Kuno's
name. She looked to be sure Ranma was still unconscious, and then let out a
slow painful breath. Kuno was a jerk and she was not going to fall for
him just because he apologized for treating her like dirt. If she let
herself, he would just use her. She took another breath. Ok, have a
chocolate and get back to the math. Nabiki pulled out the first layer of
the box, crunchy frog, her favorite in any assortment, was always on the
second layer. Her brain stopped. For the first time in her life Nabiki
Tendo couldn't think. All she could do was stare. The second layer of
the box was gone. It was filled with 5000 yen bills. There was
probably close to 100000 yen in the box . . .
*********
Tatewaki looked at his watch. 5:30. He looked at the roses. He
looked back out the window. It was starting to get dark. He was
starting to feel desperate. Nabiki wasn't coming. Not only did he hurt
her, he had made her hate him. He had showed her the crass boorish side
of his nature and it had driven her away. How could he have let himself
become such a base creature. When had his nobility abandoned him. Was
it truly his cruel fate to drive away all those he loved? Could it be
true? Would the noble family of Kuno die because its only heir was too
base and repulsive to women to get a wife? Tatewaki looked at his watch.
5:31. Yet what of Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl? They were as
lovely as any woman might want to be, yet there was something missing.
To possess them would be to possess a goddess, yet once a thing is your
possession it is nothing more than a trophy. To possess a goddess would
be to demean her station. A goddess can not be a goddess with a mortal
man. There was something else too . . . goddesses care not for the affairs
of mortals . . . Outside there was a tremendous crack of thunder and it
began to pour rain.[1] Tatewaki looked at the roses and at the rain, and
stood up. There was no point in waiting now, no one would be out in this
rain . . . except him.
Tatewaki paid his bill and stepped out into the downpour. Looking up
into the sky as the rain beat down on him, Tatewaki silently asked the
man in black if he could have just one last chance to make things right.
There was no answer, except the sound of his guilt eating away at his
heart. Shaking his head, Tatewaki threw the bouquet of roses away and
walked home in the pouring rain.
*
[1] Goddesses really hate it when people accuse them of being cold,
uncaring, lofty beings with nothing better to do than toy with the
destinies of men. Even if it is mostly true.
*********
Akane Tendo could not cook. She was one of the worst cooks to ever
live. This was a fact. It was set in stone. It could never be
changed. Naturally this meant that there were exceptions. To be exact
there were three exceptions. The first being that she could cook a
curry. The other two were full meals. They were not just meals, they
were dishes that master chefs made to show off their talents. It was on
this day, fueled by a need to make Ranma take back what he'd said[1], that
she cooked the first of these culinary wonders. It was perfect. It was
almost ready when she heard Ranma yell at Nabiki.
Akane just knew Nabiki had done something to ruin dinner. She didn't
know what it was, but it would involve Ranma not wanting to eat. Some
times she wanted to kill Nabiki, but then again was it really her fault
that Ranma was going to go along with what ever she had come up with?
No. No, Ranma should know better. As she stomped into the living room,
Akane decided that if Ranma wasn't going to eat, it was going to be
because he was physically incapable.
Akane quit thinking about Ranma when she saw Nabiki. Her face was
pale, almost white. Her eyes were huge and glazed. It was a look of
shock and horror. Spinning around she looked at Ranma, what ever he had
done to Nabiki, she was going to make him . . . Ranma looked scared.
"Akane, what's wrong with her?"
"What did you do to her?!"
"Me? She was like that..."
Akane turned away, you could tell when Ranma was lying, he never got
all defensive if he was lying. She approached Nabiki.
"Nabiki, are you ok?
Nabiki didn't move.
"Nabiki," said Akane gently shaking her.
Someone was shaking her. Nabiki blinked. Had she fallen asleep?
She looked around, Akane was standing there asking if she was ok. Ranma
was behind her looking worried. She must have really been tired. Nabiki
decided to skip dinner and go to bed early.
"I'm fine Akane, I guess I was just tired."
"Tired? Nabiki you looked like you saw a ghost."
She frowned, why should she look like that? Looking around she spied
the box of choc. . ol. .ate...s . . . full ...of . ..Kuno was waiting for
her . . . and she wasn't there. . . .
Akane watched Nabiki look around, like someone waking from a deep
sleep. She looked confused, then she stopped, her eyes widened and she
make a choking sound. Akane noticed what she was looking at, the top
layer of the box of chocolates was on the table. In the place of the
second layer were 5000 yen bills. A lot of 5000 yen bills. Akane wasn't
sure why Nabiki would freeze up in the face of cash, she never had
be..for..e . . . that was from Kuno. Nabiki jumped up, spilling the box of
cash everywhere.
"Nabiki?"
"I have to go somewhere."
"Wait, Nabiki, its pouring rain!"
It was too late. She was gone. Akane stood there shocked. She had
never seen Nabiki act so irrationally. Could it be . . .
"That . . . that's a lot of cash . . ."
Akane turned around to look at Ranma. He looked . .. thoughtful...
"Akane, do you think that . . . you know . . ."
She had to wonder . . . maybe . .. dinner was still on the stove!!!
"DINNER!!!"
"Huh?"
Ranma watched Akane rush out of the room. He knew he would be
spending the night trying to sleep through the cramps her cooking was
going to give him. Seeing Nabiki loose it really left him feeling
nervous. He knew that look on her face. It was the "oh shit I blew it"
look. He was really familiar with it. He was the one wearing it most of
the time. Not today. Ranma let out a sigh and resigned himself to
eating some of the worst food in the world.
"Oh no! Its ruined!"
Ruined? Akane was calling something she cooked ruined? She normally
just called it Cajun . . . Ranma leapt up to see what catastrophe could
possibly be called ruined by Akane's standards....it actually didn't look
too bad. Ranma was surprised. It would be what someone like Kasumi
might call ruined, but for Akane it still looked pretty good.
"I worked so hard to make dinner, and now this happens . . ."
Ranma could hear that edge in Akane's voice, she was on the verge of
tears. He opened his mouth to tell her that it was ok . .. he didn't really
want to die, but it occurred to him that the slightly burned food he was
looking at now was probably at least as good as what Kasumi normally cooked . . .
"I don't know . . ."
Akane turned to him, already beginning to look hurt and angry, "You
don't know what Ranma?"
"It actually doesn't look all that bad."
Akane looked confused, "It . . it doesn't?"
"Well, if . . ."
The anger crept back into her voice, "If?"
"Well, we probably would want to scrape off the burned parts . .."
Akane's brain was beginning to lock up, Ranma seemed to be suggesting
they salvage the dinner she was cooking and eat it. This was of course
wrong, Ranma would never say that, so she ran it through again . . . yes,
it did seem that Ranma wanted to eat her cooking. Akane felt her heart
start to swell up, and tears of joy filling her eyes . . .
*
[1] And the reality distorting magic of a certain goddess . . .
*********
He looked up as the door opened. The first person to come into the
Acme Cafe since the rain started stood there, in the doorway, dripping.
She was completely soaked. Her shirt was plastered to her torso, and hair
had that pathetic ragamuffin look. She didn't look too happy. He held up
his welcoming sign:
Welcome to the Acme Cafe!
Your waitress will be with
you in a moment.
Nabiki blinked. It was still there. Weird. She was becoming
convinced that Nerima was the Jusenkio recovery ward. Still Nabiki was
pretty sure Coyotes were not indigenous to China . . . oh well. Her
waitress, Babs by her name tag, hopped over.
"Hi! I'm your waitress, Babs! Would you like a window seat or and
isle seat?"
"Window or isle?"
"It was a joke kid, what can I do ya for?"
"I'm looking for someone..."
"Oh aren't we all sister."
"Uh . . . he had brown hair, a . ."
"Carried a big stick and talked like Shakespeare, right?"
"Well, I guess that's close."
"Never seen 'im."
Nabiki stares at her incredulously.
"Its another joke. He already left."
The busboy hopped up, "Yeah, he really looked sad. He had this big
bouquet of flowers and everything. You just missed him. Couldn't have
been more than five minutes, right Babs?"
"Buster's right. He was real upset when he left. He even threw the
whole bouquet in the gutter. Poor kid . . ."
Nabiki tried not to look devastated . . . she didn't do a very good
job. She had to get out of the restaurant before she broke down, "thanks,
i . . i have to go . . ."
*********
The rain and wind were howling out side. Thunder was providing and
almost continual rolling base effect. Lightning ripped across the sky
making monsters out of shadows and terrorizing the sleep of young
children. It was the kind of night an evil sorcerer lives for. Hikaru
Gosunkugi didn't notice. His eyes were locked, his pupils dilated. He
would have screamed if he could, but his lips were not his own. THE BOOK
was all there was. It was filled with the things no man should know.
Hikaru knew this, because they were burned into his brain. His mind was
burning with forbidden knowledge. It was too much. It was going to drive
him mad. He couldn't stand another moment.
The boy's mind was full. It was far too small. THE BOOK pushed.
The boys mind managed to hold together. Perhaps he could deal with the
truth. THE BOOK pushed the tales of the outer ones into the boys
screaming mind. It would be good to have a new master to work the dark
ways again.
*********
...time passed...
*********
. . . .more time passed . . .
*********
...even more time passed, and still they just sat staring and each other.
*********
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a whole lot more time passed . . .
*********
. . . .. the world could have fallen off its axis without them noticing. . .
*********
. . it didn't, but it could have . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .
*********
. . . finally the author decided to get on with things and let just
enough time pass to get to the good part. He did feel he should mention
that it was a sizable piece of time that did pass....
*********
Anyway, much later...
Ranma wasn't sure how long he had been staring into Akane's eyes, but
he knew she was waiting for him to kiss her. It was the only thing
left. After a good meal and no after dinner arguments, that was all
there was to do. Kiss your fiancee good night. He took a deep breath
and . . . Nabiki stalked in.
Akane turned around at the sound. It was a sound like someone who was
water logged. Kind of a squelching sound. It made sense...Nabiki WAS
water logged...she looked like she had crawled out of the pond...
"Nabiki? Are you ok?"
Nabiki stopped. She looked at them. She looked like she was about to
say something. It was probably about money, she had the "just give me
your wallet" look in her eye. . . then it faded, and she just turned away.
"I'm going to bed Akane. Its been a long day. . ."
You could hear how much she wanted to say something else . . . but she
just walked away. Ranma watched her walk across the room and up the
stairs, it was really depressing. Just looking at her made him want to
grab Akane and tell her how much he loved her....uh liked her. Ranma
shook his head . . . he hated feeling like this . . .
"Ranma, I'm going to go see if I can find out what happened to Nabiki."
*********
There was a knock at the door. She knew it would be Akane. Nabiki
knew Akane was bound and determined to try to cheer her up. It was this
thing Akane had for trying to be like Kasumi. She was just a little too
blunt to be effective. It was like putting on a Band-Aid with a hammer.
"Go away Akane. I want to be alone right now."
"Nabiki, what happened..."
"Nothing...nothing at all..."
"Nabiki...it'll be better if you tell someone about it."
Typical Akane...she could never imagine nothing as a bad thing. She
had Ranma to ruin things for her. She didn't know the first thing about
messing up her own life. She would probably never know what it was like
to drive off the one person who mattered...
"Nabiki?"
Nabiki reached up and wiped away a stray tear, "Akane, why don't you
go kiss Ranma goodnight...I think I'll just go to bed..."
Akane turned away from the door, Nabiki wasn't going to even open it
to talk to her. It amazed Akane how Nabiki always managed to take care
of everything on her own. She never needed anyone. Akane sighed...she
remembered way back when she had been independent...then along came
Ranma...and somehow he had managed to become a central figure in her
life....he had grown on her...even after all the fights, and all the
anger...she still had managed to fall in love...uh...Akane shook herself
out of her thoughts. She wondered if Ranma was still waiting for her to
. . . ..uh . .uh.....say..uh...good...uh ...night . . . ...
*********
Sasuke felt the sweat roll down his back. He wished Master Kuno
would turn on the lights. When he had left the Master had been sitting
in his chair staring out into the storm. Sasuke had never seen anyone
brooding before...but the look on the Masters face...there was only one
way to describe that look...brooding...the Master had declined to speak
or move for well over an hour now...Sasuke decided to try speaking with
him again. There was a sound in the inky darkness of the room...like the
Mistress's ribbon...whsk whsk...whsk whsk...
Sasuke felt a chill run up his spine....if the Mistress was in here
there was a good chance the Master wasn't...and that meant there was a
good chance of him being subjected to tea...or worse yet cookies.....
...whsk whsk...whsk whsk...
Gathering his courage Sasuke stepped into the room. The lightning
tore across the sky strobing the room with light. The Master was no
longer in his chair. He was practicing in the center of the room...it
was odd, he didn't notice the bokken. It was probably just the strobing
that kept him from noti.....as the light of the lightning strike faded
something whipped past his head...whsk whsk...
Sasuke fell over backward in his rush to get out of the path of the
bokken. While the Master was good with the bokken, but he was no
samurai...at least Sasuke hadn't thought so before....now...the speed the
Master must have been moving the bokken was incredible.
"M.m.m...Master Kuno..."
"Yes, faithful Sasuke?"
whsk...whsk...whskwhskwhsk...whsk...whsk
"Are you all right Master Kuno?"
"No."
The Master's reply was followed by dead silence. The sound of the
bokken whispering through the air stopped...there was nothing...even the
rain seemed to be falling lightly...as if to keep the peace...Sasuke
wasn't sure he understood what the Master wanted him to think...
"Dear Sasuke...when did things go so wrong? When did I become so
blind? I think back on the person I have become...the heavens would weep
for the foolish things I've done! So I ask you Sasuke, when? When did
things go so wrong?"
"Master? I'm not sure I understand...."
"Our family was proud and noble. When I was a child I dreamed of
becoming a samurai...but I look at what I've become...a true samurai would
kill himself if he had behaved as I have."
"Master?"
"I remember my father."
"Ma...."
"My true father, not the hollow shell that twists our lives as it
passes through between trips to a land of escapes and mindless
entertainment. I remember the last day..."
"...I remember that day..."
Sasuke knew the voice...it was the Mistress...but she sounded. . .
different. . .sad. . ..turning he saw her standing in the doorway...framed
in the flash of lightning...it could have been a trick on the lightning
but ... ...the Mistress looked so young...and innocent...her ribbon
hanging from her hand forgotten, its lethal coils lying limply
around her....her cold features lost to the memories that were playing
themselves in her mind....her mother's beauty showing itself....like on
that last day.....
"Sasuke, this trip may take me sometime. The buyers in Hawaii are
demanding face to face negotiations."
"Yes, Master Kuno. I am sure that once they meet you there will be no
trouble."
The Master smiled, and straightened his tie, "I am leaving my children
in your care Sasuke. I know you will treat them as your own."
"Of course Master."
"I know things haven't been the same since my wife...."
"Yes, Master. It was a terrible blow to us all."
The Master picked up his suit jacket. It was a custom tailoring job,
no one made suits for men like the Master. His shoulders were to broad,
his legs to thick. Most men with the Master's build wore Gi's and won
martial arts tournaments. The Master had shown himself to be not only a
very powerful fighter, but an even more powerful business man. The
Master bought and sold companies like children bought and sold sport
cards.
"It is time I left. Sasuke, put my luggage in the car while I say
good-bye to my children."
"Yes, Master."
"DAAAAAD! Kodachi...", the young Master...
The Master smiled...his stony features melting into the look of a
proud father...his children were the only people that could bring him out
of the formal business man shell he usually wrapped himself in...
The lightning strobed the room again, the ribbon dropped from
Kodachi's hand as a single tear slid down her cheek. In the quickly
fading light Sasuke watched her turn and rush out of the room.
"Master Kuno..."
"Perhaps it is an illness that drives this noble family to madness."
"I do not think so Master. I think that the members of the house
of Kuno suffer madness in the face of fear, sorrow and loneliness..."
...
...
...
"Sasuke...when did you become so wise?"
"As you say, Young Master, your true father has not returned. I am
charged with your up bringing until he does..."
"It has been a long time since you last called me Young Master."
"It has been a long time since I remembered my duty. I think we have
all been a little mad."
"Sasuke."
"Yes, Young Master?"
"I am glad to have you back."
*********
Flip. It was a picture of the family. Mom and Dad in the back
ground, Kasumi and herself standing in front of them, while Akane played
with a toy truck on the ground.
Flip. Mom watching a sun set with Kasumi.
Flip. Kasumi holding Akane's hand.
Flip. Mom and Dad at new years.
Flip. Mom smiling pleasantly for the camera.
Nabiki closed the album. She remembered why she had taken it from her
father...it was full of Mom. It was too painful to look at. Nabiki put
her head on the album...it was as close to her mother as she could be now...
"Mom," she whispered, "What do I do?" A tear slid down her cheek and
fell onto the cover of the album. "I ruined everything Mom...what can I
do...how can I make up to him...Mom...I...I thought he was just some
other guy...what do I do..."
*********
The alarm clock went off at 4:30am. Grumbling Nabiki turned it off.
It continued to go off. Nabiki blinked. The alarm display on the LCD
was off...why was it still going off? Frowning she unplugged the clock.
It continued to go off. Her frown deepened as she realized the clock was
probably Akane's. What would Akane want to get up at 4:30 for? Unless...
it was kind of odd that the alarm would be so clear through the wall...it
was almost as if it were coming out of the mirror...but that was
ridiculous. Nabiki started for the door.
"There you are ya little bastard."
The alarm stopped. Nabiki looked toward the mirror...for an instant
she thought she saw another place reflected in the mirror...but then it
was gone...but that voice...like an electric current...there was movement
in the mirror. Nabiki felt her heart stop. Spinning around she found
there was no one there. Cautiously she approached the mirror. The room
in the mirror was different from hers...it was bigger...there were
pictures of Akane and Ranma(female) all over one wall. That was odd...it
was almost exactly as she pictured Kuno's ...
"Nabiki Tendo."
Nabiki almost fainted. Kuno stepped into sight. He stood right in
front of her. He was dressed in his school uniform, he looked handsome...
but there was something else...Kuno always looked handsome...this Kuno had
something else...something powerful. . .it might have been the way he was
standing, or the quiet pride that flowed behind him like a cloak...but it
wasn't. It was something else.
"Nabiki Tendo, I am sorry. I have abused our friendship beyond all
reconciliation. I have injured your feelings, and I only wish there were
some way in which I could make amends. I realize it is your right to
reject my apologies, but I sincerely pray that you do not. Please
understand that had I ever guessed at the strange path of my heart, I
would have long ago given up the chase and turned to you. Yet it is,
perhaps, my lot to discover too late the one person with whom I can
find my true peace."
She was transfixed. It seemed impossible, yet here was Kuno working
his way through the words "I love you".
"Young Master, I should think a simple apology would seem more
sincere," said a voice outside her field of view.
"Perhaps you are right, Sasuke. Nabiki Tendo, I am sorry to have
hurt your feelings. Please allow me to ..."
"Hmmmm, perhaps not."
"Nabiki, I think I have fallen in love with you, please let me have a
chance to make up with you."
Nabiki fainted.
*********
Formula 399. Kodachi pealed the label off and carefully applied it to
the vial of liquid. She could just imagine the look on her Ranma's face
when she doused him with this...oh it would be glorious...she glanced at
the clock...7:15. Hmmmm, she was going to have to put off an ambush this
morning if she was to get to class on time...and the principle had seemed
kind of angry the other day...that was it, she would go in on time...and
leave early from literature...that would allow her to catch Ranma and
Akane at lunch time...speaking of Akane...Kodachi pealed the label for
Formula 400 off of the pad and applied it to the vial.
*********
She yawned and looked around. There was nothing unusual about the
mirror...the clock was unplugged...Nabiki yawned again. It was just too
early to be getting up...that was all...she hadn't really fainted...it
was just a weird dream...
Getting up off the floor she wandered over to her desk. The rose
looked healthier than it had in weeks...she was kind of glad she hadn't
thrown it away. Still it was a reminder of Kuno...what if the mirror
thing wasn't a dream? No. There was no supernatural, it had to have
been her imagination. Nabiki picked up her watch, 8:00!!!! She started
pulling off her pajamas...maybe if she told Mr. Yamasuka she felt ill he
would let it go...
*********
"Young Master Kuno, I don't think she is coming."
"I fear you are right, Sasuke."
"You are already late for class, you should go in before you miss any
more school."
Tatewaki looked at his diminutive guardian, and wondered how the author
of this fanfic expected to just slip this phrase in without being
noticed. No matter, Tatewaki decided, he would visit Nabiki at her home
if that was what fate demanded...what an odd thing to think...
"Sasuke, you are right. I have been out here too long. My mind
begins to wander. Go check on the health of Nabiki Tendo while I attend
to my schooling."
"As you wish Young Master Kuno."
*********
Kuno was standing in the hall holding two buckets of water. He looked
like he was a million miles away. Nabiki wondered what Kuno had done to
get kicked out of class today.......probably started spouting poetry at
Akane again...Nabiki frowned, that was probably what happened....
"Good morning, Upperclassman Kuno. Isn't it a little early for you to
get kicked out of class?"
"Ah, Nabiki Tendo," gotta think of something intelligent to say, "I
was, uh, late."
"Really? What WERE you doing?"
I was waiting for you Nabiki, say, I was waiting for you, "I was
waiting."
"Really, I think Akane and Ranma left early today..."
"No I ... uh..."
"Kuno, your really acting different today. Are you sick or something?"
"Perhaps, but..."
"Well, Kuno, I can't stand around chatting all day. I've got to get
to class. Why don't we finish this conversation at lunch today? I'm
sure you'll think of some excuse as to why you were late by then."
Tatewaki stared after her as she slipped into the room...damn.
"Young Master Kuno."
Tatewaki spun toward the voice, Sasuke.
"I have discovered the where abouts of Nabiki Tendo."
"Sasuke, this perceptiveness of yours...where do you come by it?"
*********
"MR. SAOTOME!"
Ranma looked around...oh boy . . . he'd really dosed off this time, he
usually could wake up before ...
"I'm glad you've consented to give this class your attention, Mr.
Saotome. Perhaps you'd like to share with the class what has been
occupying your mind for the past three minutes?"
"I was, uh, that is ... last night, uh...I..."
"Ranma! Your not going to tell the class how I caught you and Akane
making out are you?!"
Ranma spun around to stare at Nabiki, "What?! NO!!"
"RANMA!!!"
Ranma spun around to face Akane, she had a desk raised over her head.
That wouldn't have been nearly as scary if it weren't for the hapless
student who happened to be in the desk at the time.
"Wait Akane!"
"NO! I'M FINISHED WITH A PERVERT LIKE YOU!!!!"
*********
"Ranma Saotome."
"What, Kuno."
"Do you fail to see the merits of scholastic diligence?"
"What?"
"Why don't you pay attention in class?"
"Hey, I understood that! Say....are you ok, Kuno?"
"Why do people keep asking me that?"
"How would I know?"
"That was a rhetorical question, Saotome."
"Yeah, whatever, Kuno."
"You still have not answered my question, Saotome."
"Uh, Upperclassman?"
"Yes, Akane Tendo?"
"ARE you feeling ok?"
"You can not know the days I spent in waiting
Wishing only to hear those words grace your lips
Odd that I should hear them at the fading
Of my emotional ties as they are dismissed..."
"Upperclassman?"
"I am sorry to tell you in this abstract way. It was the only thing I
could think of."
"It was beautiful..."
"Beautiful? Kuno have you gone completely nuts?! That was the
stupidest thing I think I've ever heard in my life!"
The water was still cold...it could have been colder if there was,
say, an iceberg in it...but not much. Ranma spun on Akane, she was
holding the empty bucket and looking ready to kill him. Ranma backed
into the wall as Akane closed on him.
"Ranma, you jerk. Why can't you just shut up. Upperclassman Kuno
composed a poem to tell me . . . good . . ..bye?"
"Ah, the pig tailed one doth show herself at last."
"opps."
Meanwhile, unnoticed by the rest of the fanfic, Sasuke shook his head...
someone was going to have to help Young Master Kuno to understand about
Ranma...slipping into a convenient hole in the plot he made his way back
to the Kuno estate to perform some unspecified task that would conveniently
remove him from the rest of the fanfic.
"You better keep your hands to yourself, Kuno."
"Oh goddess of beauty, with your fiery mane
That I could hold you or keep you without pain
But this is not to be, you are not here for me
You are for another, as I now have discovered
So am I..."
"Oh Upperclassman Kuno. That, that was really beautiful. But why are
you saying good bye to us?"
"Akane, how I had hoped you would not ask me that. Yet as the
words fall from your lips I find the truth is dragged from me as though
by barbed hooks that I can not..."
Ranma stared at Kuno...he hadn't glommed on to her yet...he was really
spouting poetry...something really weird was going on here...Ranma leaned
over to Akane...
"What do you think...has he finally gone crazy?"
"I don't know...he really is acting weird..."
"The truth...I am sure you realize that the vile heart which beats
beneath this noble breast is...to say the least fickle...but now I find
that I must say good bye because...my heart has gone out to another...."
"Oh, I'm really happy for you Upperclassman..."
"Let me get this strait...just one other?"
Kuno scowled at her, "My pigtailed Venus, I have a favor to ask of you."
"If you ask me for a date I'll kick you through the roof."
"Fear not, I simply wish you to give a message to that fool Saotome."
"FOOL! I don't..."
"Tell him that I will personally kill him if he continues to treat
Akane like garbage."
"Huh?"
"Tell him that The Blue Thunder of Furinken High has spoken and he
has my permission to date Akane Tendo."
"Like I need..."
Kuno leaned so close that his lips were bare inches from hers...she
could feel his breath as he spoke in a near inaudible whisper...
"tell him that if i find him with any other women i will make him a judge
in a cook off between akane and my sister..."
*********
"...or it could be Jinkoh."
"Who is Jinkoh?"
"She's my friend with the glasses and long ponytail."
"Oh...oh yeah, her....no I don't think so. It has to be someone of
some significance to the over all plot of the series."
"The author could just be using this to intro a new character you know."
"Your right Akane, I never thought of that..."
Kodachi smiled, they were almost there. When Akane and Ranma got
right under the tree she would drop down behind them. Then she would be
able to douse them with their respective potions. Then while that nasty
Akane was running away from Ranma she would be free to make him her own!
Oh, she could just imagine his expression...
"Oh Kodachi, I...I never realized how perfect you are...your hair,
your eyes, your leotard, and matching shoes..."
"Ranma, my darling you are so bold."
"Kodachi, you are so sexy. Lets get married and then have great sex
for hours on end..."
"...acting weird...you know Nabiki has too."
Akane looked back to where Nabiki was talking to Kuno. She looked
like she was waiting for him to get to the point...it also looked like
she would be content to wait a while. Could she really have fallen for
Kuno? She sure looked happy to be with him...then again she might just
be selling him more pictures.
"I don't know, Ranma...I think Nabiki is more sensible than that..."
"Yeah, but just look at them...standing there pretending that they are
just two . .. friends . .... .talk..ing..."
"Uh...I...we should...I mean..."
Akane felt it like a cold chill, something was wrong. She and Ranma
spun around at almost the exact same time. . . .. there was nothing
there...Ranma turned toward her...
"That's weird. I though...oh well..."
"Me too...I wonder..."
The old man landed on Ranma's head, the old man himself wasn't really
heavy enough to knock Ranma over...but the bag of women's underwear that
he was hauling was heavy enough to be used as a wrecking ball. As he
fell Ranma heard the dreaded words:
"Ho Ho, Ranma my boy, you take care of these lovely ladies for me!"
He knew what that meant...in exactly three seconds, just long enough for
him to roll over, every girl in fifth period gym would trample him in an
attempt to catch Happosi. It was like a law of physics. <TRAMPLE>
Akane knelt down next to Ranma, "Are you ok?"
<thmp>"Ranma Sweetums! Did those wicked girls hurt you?"
Akane looked at Kodachi, she was about to say something...but Kodachi...
she kept remembering the kiss...
"Ko..Kodachi? What are you doing here?" Kodachi looked at her and
started sweating...she was probably ashamed to be caught fawning over
someone else...
"Uh...Akane Tendo...I, I have just the thing for you."
Akane watched in amazement as Kodachi reached in her leotard and
pulled out a vial of liquid.
"Wow, how did you do that?"
"Its a feminine skill. I'm sure you know nothing about it."
"WHAT???!!!"
Akane felt Ranma pull her down out of the way, just as Kodachi hurled
the vial at her. She landed on top of him. He was grinning up at her
sheepishly. Akane knew she should be mad...but somewhere deep down
inside she knew Ranma had done that just to protect her. It made her
feel all warm inside...
"WAAAAAAHHH!!!! Attacking MY RANMA!!! YOU IMPUTANT GIRL!!! I'LL HAVE
TO SHOW YOU SOME MANNERS!!!"
Akane knew what was coming next and rolled left seconds before the
second vial struck. . ... ...RANMA! Oh no Ranma!
"Now look what you made me do! You wicked, wicked girl!"
"What I made you do?! How could this be my fault?! You were
attacking me!"
"Wait a minute. That must have been formula 399!"
"Formula 399? Would you like to explain?"
"Of course, formula 399 is my new extra strength love potion!
Guaranteed to turn the victim, er, recipient into my willing love slave!
Huh? Wh..why are you looking at me like that?"
"You ... you were trying to make me your love slave?"
"No!! Wait, your looking at this all wrong! That's not what I said!"
"Excuse me."
"Ranma!"
"Ranma?"
"What is formula 400?"
"Formula 400?! But that's . . . and if that was . . . where did..."
Nabiki watched Kuno pick up the vial, "So, Kuno, what was in the vial?"
"The label marks it to be Formula 399."
Nabiki wiped a glob of the greenish substance off her cheek, "What is
that?"
"No doubt something quite vile," said Kuno scraping some formula 399
out of the collar of his shirt.
"So what was it you wanted to tell me, Upperclassman."
He looked down at her. She could see him trying to put together the
words he wanted to say. He was even starting to sweat. Until this
moment she hadn't realized why it didn't make Akane mad when Ranma
couldn't find the words to say...her heart was pounding....she felt like
there were pins and needles all over her body....
"I ... I think I...I ....I need to go clean my room!"
Nabiki stared after Kuno...how could he...wow! What a great
butt...still he had just run off...Nabiki tried to concentrate on being
angry at Kuno for whimping out...but it was hard while visions of him
wearing sexy underwear that showed off that great .... Nabiki had a bad
feeling that this fanfic was going to become a lemon if she didn't hurry
up and . . .uh clean her room...
Akane looked at Kodachi, "That was weird."
"That's not supposed to happen..."
"Eeep."
"Ranma?"
"Uhoh."
"What do you mean 'uhoh'?"
"Ummm..."
"Eeep."
"Well I'd better be going.."
"Ranma?"
Akane watched in horror as Ranma scampered over to a tree and then
scratched himself behind the ear...
"Why is Ranma acting like a .. .. uh?"
"Mouse?"
"What did you do to him!"
"Uh, that was, uh supposed to be a repellent..."
"And why were you throwing a..."
"What a cuuute leotard."
Kodachi almost screamed, how did those two get a cameo in this
fanfic? She was about to flee when she noticed Ranma scampering back
toward Akane...he still liked her even when he thought he was a mouse...
worse yet, he probably liked her better! Was there no justice in the world???
"My dear," began Mikado, "I've been searching for you for what seems
like...GGAAAAHHH"
<RRRRIP!!!!!>
Akane spun back toward the sound, Kodachi was gone...Azusa Shiratori was
there with a leotard? Nah...couldn't be...Mikado was passed out on the
ground, blood pouring out his nose...that leotard did look awful familiar...
"Diana! Diana!"
"Eeep?"
Akane turned back to Ranma, "Its a running gag, Ranma, lets go home," so
much for a romantic ending to this fanfic...
*********
Aftermath
was written and directed by
Matthew Trotter
Terry Pratchett
Rumiko Takashi
Mr. Bartlette
Dr. Who
Cast appearing as:
Lord Zed..................Ranma Saotome
Smoky T. Bear.............Genma Saotome
Reta......................Akane Tendo
Whinny T. Pooh............Soun Tendo
Putty 1...................Nabiki Tendo
Sailor Moon...............Kasumi Tendo
Big Bird..................Azusa Shiratori
Mr. Snufulufagous.........Mikado Sanzenin
Yogi Bear.................Tatewaki Kuno
Oscar T. Grouch...........Kodachi Kuno
Godzilla..................Happosi
The Smurfs................Spot the Wonder Dog
The Autobots..............Fifth Period Girls Gym Class
Lynn Minmei...............Priss
Everyone I forgot.........Crowd in scene 7a
Rob Orick.................IRC-aholic 1-7 & 11
Antisocial Behavior.......Sarcasm
Penellope Pitstop.........Fellowship
Alf.......................Emotion
Neil......................Despair
Commander Keen............Duke Nukem
Death.....................Hikaro Gosunkugi
Plague....................Dr. Tofu
Pestilence................Morphine
Red Ranger................Satan
Thanks:
Foxx, I stole the idea for the Kuno's past from his fanfic "When The
Dream Ends" P.S. read it, it rules...
Rancid, For all the great inspiring music and lyrics I steal for my
fanfics, buy all their albums and listen to 'em loud!!!
White Wolf, For having such a swell list where I can express myself in
new and meaningful ways...and for saying you like Sarcasm...
Everyone Who C&Cs This, I wanna know what you think! Write me at
trotter@bobcat.etsu.edu
Everyone Who Asked When My Next Story Would Be Ready, I feel like God
when someone mails me to say they liked my stories and to ask when
the next one is due...
The Population of Earth, for not descending into barbarism and
destroying each other mindlessly...well at least most of you
showed restraint....
Dr. Saffer, for getting me the 1/2 GA for the summer, so that I can
continue to go to school...
*********
"Ranma Sweetums," queried the bush, "A..Akane? Brother Dear? Anyone?"
Cursing quietly, the bush up rooted itself and snuck across the
street. Mumbling faintly it made its way up the street until it bumped
into a mailbox going the other way.
"Excuse me," said the bush.
"My fault," replied the mailbox.