First of all, let me calmly say

HOW CAN YOU LET KASUMI DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.  Excuse me, I'm a little emotional; after spending so much time 
writing a fanfic about Kasumi, I'm not sure I can forgive anyone else 
who kills her off.  :)  jk

I kinda don't like Belladonna's name.  It just doesn't seem right that 
Kasumi and Tofu would name their daughter after a poisonous plant.  I 
like Bell-chan, though.  :)  Still, the name "Belladonna" goes against 
the nature of her character, it's the kind of name you'd expect to be 
Kodachi's daughter.  Yes, it's appropriate in terms of what she does to 
her mother, but I can't imagine Kasumi saying, "You know, she's going to 
kill me someday, let's call her Belladonna."

This is very dark; it sure takes the worst of everyone and multiplies it 
tenfold.  That Shampoo thing was very graphic; I hope you can include a 
hint of why she would do that, otherwise it comes off as needless 
perverse.

I'm not sure what's up with Akane (and I'm sure you're keeping us in the 
dark on purpose).  There seem to be so many untold stories, I hope you 
don't trip over yourself trying to tell them all at once.

Where's Ranma?  I expect a dramatic entrance from him soon.

You may get the impression I didn't like it.  Far from it.  Although my 
initial reaction was negative - I didn't like thinking of all the 
Tendo's dead, Ryoga executed, Nabiki a monster - I had to stop, take 
away my preconceptions and read it again.  It was much better then.  
It's just barely plausible that the characters might develop so, and the 
plot is interesting, and even if I don't understand the ending too well, 
I'm anxious to see what happens next.

This reminds me very much of Neuromancer, where I didn't understand 
anything at first, but comprehension and acceptance slowly dawned as 
delved deeper into the story.

I agree with you; the conversations need fleshing out, and I think we 
need just a little more motivation for Belladonna...I just don't 
understand why she would do it, just to shut her father up.  Give us a 
little more atmoshphere - dark and dreary. The scene with Tatewaki and 
Tofu in the room with Nabiki's body was good for this; maybe we need a 
little more of this early on, to foreshadow.

Grr, I'm rambling.  I hope this makes sense.  I very much like stories 
where you don't know what's going on, and you have to figure it out 
yourself.  But I still think you need to make a few things clearer, for 
those of us who don't understand the workings of your diseased mind.

^_^  jk

Let me know when you've got Volume II ready.

-Richard
sterman@sprynet.com